Today, I fucked up... by pranking my roommate my scrambling all his eggs, putting the scrambled eggs back in the carton, and telling him he bought "Pre-Scrambled Eggs".
My roommate goes shopping on Sunday evenings. He bought a carton of eggs. Last night after shopping he went out, and I knew heâd probably not be back that night.
So I decided to scramble every egg from the carton. I ate some of them (It was always my intention to replace the egg carton, just to get that out of the way), and the rest I stuffed the scrambled egg back into the carton. So it was just a carton of scrambled egg.
Then on the back of the carton I wrote âPre Scrambledâ in marker.
This morning I hear my roommate exclaim âWhat the fuck!?â
I ran into the kitchen and saw him staring dumbfounded at the carton. He kept looking from me to the carton and back. âDid you buy the Pre-Scrambled kind?â I asked.
He looked at me like I had just spoken Saturnian, so I repeated my question. âThe fuck do you mean?â he replied.
I took the carton from him, acted like I was carefully examining the packaging, and then pointed out the writing on the back. Pre-Scrambled. âYeah, you bought Pre-Scrambled Eggs,â I said.
He looked as perplexed as it is possible for a person to be. Maximum perplexness.
I put on an act of being amazed that he had never heard of Pre-Scrambled eggs, and about how I always check the back of the carton to make sure they arenât Pre-Scrambled.
He stammered something along the lines of âBut whatâŠbut whyâŠhowâŠwhy would theyâŠwhat theâŠwhyâŠâ
I was about to reveal it was a prank when he suddenly got very serious and intense, like a late-season Walter White sort of vibe, and he said âFuck no. Not my eggs.â Then he wheeled around and marched out of the apartment. Out to his car. And he left.
I was a bit concerned. And probably should have shouted after him before he left. But I didnât.
So like 40 minutes pass and I hear our apartment door open, and I hear âIâm banned! Iâm banned from the Stop & Shop! Banned!â
I walk out to the kitchen with some apprehension. He looks enraged. âBanned!â He dropped the egg carton on the floor. âDid you fuck me!?â
He wasnât taking it well.
âThey donât fuckin sell this shit!!! Did you fuck me!?â
At this point I admitted to pranking him. And I apologized. He just stared at me for a moment, then shouted something like âYouâre buying me fucking new eggs!!â Then he slammed his bedroom door. Then he opened it and yelled âI have to drive to motherfucking PATHMARK, are you kidding me!? You go too far!! FUCK!!!â And slammed the door again. Then he opened it again and shouted âSTOP LAUGHING!!!â and slammed the door again.
I do feel bad about this because it was never the intention of the prank to get him banned from the supermarket. I have already replaced his eggs and I am in the process of thinking up some way to make it up to him regarding his banishment.
TL;DR - Accidentally got my roommate banned from the supermarket when I convinced him they sold him âPre-Scrambledâ eggs.
dailybridgerton
stormborns
jacobvanloon
andulkaphoto
annaxmalina
