Randomness @crazy-waffle - Tumblr Blog

The fact that humans can be killed through physical means is so ridiculous to me

Like this sounds wild but like. hear me out. a person is such a ridiculously infinitely complicated web of thoughts and feelings and beliefs and such an unbelievably huge amount of knowledge and the idea that you can destroy that by holding a pillow over someone's face for three minutes is absolutely surreal. The idea that you can remove knowledge and emotion and memory from the world with a physical object is literally unbelievable. people are literally infinitely huge and complex and the fact that you can kill the person by killing the body is wild. I'm sure this is incoherent but I hope you get it

utopians

It's like. Imagine you threw a fist-sized rock at the empire state building and the entire thing and everything inside it collapsed into dust. That's what the existence of human death feels like

theygender

Nail polish 2 hours after you apply it to your nails intentionally: oh no, a gust of air has lightly accosted me! I have been torn asunder and stricken from my resting place, I must leave this place at once!

Nail polish the millisecond you spill it on something accidentally: the essence of my being has been permanently bonded to this substance since the day I was born—atom to atom, body and soul. you could no sooner remove me from this wooden table than you could remove the ocean from its water

jurassic-cunt

this whole "job thing" is rlly starting to get in my way. i need to watch made up people falling in love on tv, and then i need to read more extensively about it online. why is that so hard to understand

sharkbentsky

People with hot takes about how Suck Session is problematic because the characters are billionaires are actually the funniest bitches on this site. Imagine watching senior citizen Logan Roy almost fuck over his company because he's losing his shit about an imaginary dead cat because he has an UTI which likely has to do with fucking his personal assistant in bizzare ways while trying to conceive another heir at the age of 83 after all his adult children turned out to be losers and thinking you're being sold capitalism here. Unparalleled comedy.

fakenudes

i’m having an andrew garfield january

natalieironside

One time I shared a post that contained (unbeknownst to me) incorrect information about how big anglerfish are and people sent me anon hate about it for years and accused me of being the center of a conspiracy to spread fish-based misinformation, I would occasionally get messages in my inbox out of the blue like "You're a terrible person for telling lies about fish and I hope you die," and I think that that more than anything else is the real Tumblr Dot Com experience

natalieironside

Anyway anglerfish are fucking huge. They're born the size of a Ford F250 and grow up to be six times taller than God.

knightlyhoods-deactivated202404

this has got to be THE funniest sentence ive seen all day im gonna cry

quaadude

Me getting my name called to get my order at Starbucks

tinglebottle435-blog

auujehjrgnmuuoingjoskjcnjsjshdo

the only true ally

honkytonkwhore

bo burnham - inside (2021)

sock-ness-monster

Inside by Bo Burnham is like the parks and rec scene where they're all struggling just to stand on the ice as "get on your feet " is playing on repeat except serious

beaivii

watching bo burnham’s inside (2021, colorized)

jemmafitzsimmons

“How do you go about telling a compelling love story (…) where the end is two people who made each other better?” — Dan Levy

LA LA LAND (2016) FLEABAG (2019) SCHITT’S CREEK (2020) NORMAL PEOPLE (2020)

deadlinejon

political comics that are just kids holding books and going “what’s this?????? not a electronic? no computer???not phone?? how can be??” will always crack me up

deadlinejon

hyperchaotix

I think old people do this just to feel better about themselves because they don’t know how to use a computer and think that it works the other way around for some reason.