To Randomness and Beyond!

[picsthatmakeyougohmm]

[chaoticconstellation]

On this day one year ago, I was fired from Crumbl Cookies because my grandfather suddenly died and I cried when I found out and was on the clock. They make you sign a waiver to not talk about the recipes that lasts one year after your termination. Well guess what babes. That day, is today. RIP Nanu, you’ve been missed. But for anyone who likes the Chocolate Chip Cookies or the Iced Sugar Cookies, check out the recipes in the links. Feel free to ask about other recipes, it’s been a year but some things are just reskinned versions of these lol. Good Luck and Happy Baking.

[thecrimsonmonarch]

[JL Watchtower]

Batman: *alert, expression grave* We have an emergency.

Superman: *springing into action* Let’s go, you can tell me the details on the way –

Batman: It’s me. I’m the emergency.

Superman: *frowning, examining Batman with x-ray vision* No broken bones, no internal bleeding… what’s wrong?

Batman: I think I’m drunk.

Superman:

Superman: You don’t drink.

Batman: I had canned coffee. From the pantry. There’s crateloads of them.

Superman: *remembering Flash’s newest concoction* Oh

Batman: At first I thought I was just being affected by the sugar.

Superman: *remembering Flash mentioning that he had them specially made for his high metabolism* Oh no

Batman: You know I don’t consume much sugar, Clark. I’m not used to it. I thought it was The Sugar Rush™

Superman: How much did you drink?

Batman: I’d already drunk two cans when I read the fine print. I –

Batman: *clutching Superman’s shoulder, carefully enunciating* I imbibed two whole cans, Clark. Of metahuman-grade Irish Coffee.

Superman: *supporting Batman’s free arm, keeping him from acquainting his face with the floor* Oh no

Batman: I feel strange. I made small talk in the cafeteria. I might’ve cracked a joke at some point. I almost told Green Lantern he did a good job on the last mission.

Superman: Wow

Batman: But he didn’t do a good job, Clark.

Superman: *lips pursed, corners twitching* Mhm

Batman: My mental faculties have been compromised. I feel… bubbly.

Superman: *controlling his breathing*

Batman: I cannot be seen bubbly, Clark. I’m Batman.

Superman: *shoulders shaking, eyes glistening*

Batman: You need to get me out of here before I run around the cafeteria complimenting everyone.

Superman: Okay, just – give me a sec –

Superman: *sniffling* I’m memorizing every detail of this conversation so I can replay it forever

+

[Later, at the Batcave]

Superman: *flies in with Batman in a bridal lift*

Batkids: !!!!!!!!!

Nightwing: We received his emergency alert –

Red Hood: What the fuck happened –?

Nightwing: – he wasn’t responding –

Robin: Is Father conscious –?

Red Robin: I’m getting Alfred –

Superman: GUYS, guys, calm down

Superman: *puts Batman down on his feet* B’s just drunk.

Batman: *stands straight, dusts his shoulders, opens his arms*

Batman: Daddy’s home.

Nightwing:

Robin:

Red Robin: Okay, pause everything, I’m getting a camera *runs off*

Red Hood: *unblinking* Is this real

Batman: How are you boys this fine evenin’?

Robin: It’s 4 AM

Nightwing: Why is he speaking with a southern accent?

Superman: He’s been cycling through accents since liftoff. No idea why.

Red Robin: *returning with an 8K camera in hand* BEHOLD, the reclusive Gotham Bat in his natural habitat…

Batman: *staring at the lens, hands lifting his cape open at shoulder-height*

Batman: *fangs bared* I bid you velcome.

Red Hood: *still unblinking, unmoving* This is the best day of my entire life

[fancysmudges]

Concept: A witch cat that’s too fat to fly

[saraneththebinder-deactivated20]

[scorpymiz]

This is legit great because it shows that it’s not the cat that’s the problem, it’s the broom. The cat just needed someone to make an accommodation so they could fly too.

[abigailmoment]

Play Online

[weonsinnombre]

[adamsmasher]

What I love about this is seeing that he's clearly a hockey skater. Now, I don't know shit about fuck when it comes to cold slippy antics, but what I notice is different between hockey skaters and nearly all other skaters is that hockey skaters essentially run on the ice. Any other skater is trying to glide, perform, or be otherwise smooth. Create a new type of mobility, but on ice. But hockey skaters? The floor is slippery but that's why they've got knives on their feet, so it's running time. Run run run run.

So this is like playing tag on ice, except the one guy you're trying to get is magically not on ice. And I think that's pretty neat.

[jackironsides]

He’s also making really good use of the stoppers on the front of his skates. You can clearly see several times that when he starts juking and running he’s not actually running with the wheels in contact with the ground – he’s tipped forward to run on the rubber stoppers, which will give him more traction on the slippery surface. He can change direction faster because none of his kinetic energy is going into countering the inertia of spinning wheels.

I don’t know if the picks on the front of ice skates are used similarly (because ice hockey is not so much of a national pastime in Australia) but I wouldn’t be surprised. But I spent a bit of time with a roller derby team, and I recognised that particular stopper run :)

[azlinne]

Hockey skates have a smooth front. Honestly judging by the stopper use and spin jump at the end he probably dabbles in figure skating as well.

[junkartie]

Shut up about your humans are inherently evil bullshit and look at this crowd of people losing their absolute shit because they were able to save a random stray cat

[penny-anna]

what happens if Batman is out driving the Batmobile and he gets pulled over & asked for his license

[penny-anna]

possibilities:

- he just refuses & drives away bcos like what are they gonna do

- he gives them his actual license and hopes

- he gives them his actual license & then bribes them to keep their mouths shut

- he hands them a license that lists his name as 'The Batman' and has a picture of him in the cowl

[anaisonfire]

The last one, except it's not a fake license, he actually went and got it.

[penny-anna]

*Batman & Superman riding in the batmobile, get pulled over*

Police Officer: can I see your license?

Superman: *quietly freaking out bcos there's no way this is going to end well*

Batman: of course *hands them his The Batman license*

Superman: ???

*after they drive on*

Superman: you have a fake license that lists your name as The Batman??

Batman: of course not.

Batman: it's a completely legal license. why? would you like me to arrange for you to get one?

Superman: I

Superman: yes please

[ameba-from-space]

The batlicese

[captain-of-the-historicfuture]

These tags are everything.

[captainlordauditor]

it is Dick, and Dick didn’t know Batman had a license. He thought this would be the greatest prank. Bruce just turns it right around on him

[penny-anna]

#dick became a cop specifically for this prank and as soon as it backfires he quits the force and becomes a male model or whatever 

Dick, coming back to the station after pulling over the batmobile: *slaps badge down on his boss’s desk* aight i’m out

[legitimately]

need a full body massage a margarita 400mg of ibuprofen a plate of brownies at least an hour in a jacuzzi and 20,000 dollars cash

[pterribledinosaurdrawings]

I am staying hydrated, are You staying hydrated?

[shosta]

pterrible dinosaur drawings is keeping me from diedrating.

[penny-anna]

Batman: the rules are clear, no children in the Justice League

The Team: but Captain Marvel’s only 10?

Captain Marvel: hi

Batman: I said no childREN. We can have 1.

[penny-anna]

genuinely tho the inclusion of Captain Marvel in YJ was one of the funniest things they could have done. the league’s all like ‘no you guys are too young to be superheroes’ and meanwhile Captain Marvel is a 10 year old boy

at the end of the first episode the entire league shows up Captain Marvel is just kind of There in the background to glare at them disapprovingly and it’s like Billy you dick you are 10.

and then he volunteers to like chaperone the team! and Batman just! lets him! Batman knows he’s 10 years old and is like ‘yeah this seems like a suitable chaperone for a group of teenagers’ Batman what the fuck are you doing!! he’s 10!!!

[penny-anna]

#the end of that episode is so cute as well like he goes home to bed and he’s 10 omg he’s 10

RIGHT and then the team are all like ‘oh no captain marvel is breathing down our necks… the League must have sent him to watch us bcos they don’t trust us any more ):<’ meanwhile Billy is like ‘omg I get to hang out with the big kids they’re so cool omg’

[penny-anna]

#i hc that bruce really sent captain marvel to ‘supervise’#bc he thought it would be good for billy to interact with other hero kids#and it was lowkey his way of testing all the kids to see how well they did without adult guidance

objection retracted, you’re absolutely right that’s what he was doing

[raptorific]

funniest thing would be if when Queen Elizabeth dies or steps down and Charles is all ready to assume the throne, here comes King Arthur, Excalibur in hand, sauntering back from Avalon like “oof what a nap! thanks for keeping the chair warm I’m back to be king again”

[raptorific]

like, given that “King Arthur isn’t actually dead, he’ll be back to be King again someday” is, like, an actual aspect of the legend and a thing that a lot of people purport to believe, has anyone ever actually tried it? showing up to buckingham palace claiming to be Arthur Pendragon, The Once And Future King, and assume the throne? does the british government have a protocol for checking whether someone claiming to be King Arthur actually is? does parliament have a secret picture of the Real Excalibur kept under lock and key, only viewed if someone claims to be King Arthur, that they can use to confirm or refute the identity of alleged Kings Arthur? if not, how do they deter every jackass with a sward from pretending to be him? does filing a false King Arthur report constitute treason?

[lunetta-suzie-jewel]

The rules are simple. “Arthur” has to show up with a sword. They give the sword to the Lady of the Lake, and if she throws it back to the claimant, he’s legit and gets to be king again.

[pargolettasworld]

So the test for King Arthur’s identity falls to the even less officially identifiable Lady of the Lake.  No one can even agree on which Lady, or which lake, is the official one, much less how to tell if you’ve got The Lady of The Lake.  All of which suggests that all you need to accomplish this is one (1) sword, a willing female acquaintance, and a nearby body of water. 

There isn’t even any requirement for “Arthur” to catch the sword, so the Lady can just javelin an epee right at him.

[lunetta-suzie-jewel]

Well when you look at it that way, one might conclude that strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government.

[thatdisasterauthor]

Okay but I want someone claiming to be Arthur as a book now. It would be such fun chaos.

[iclyn78]

So, I really want to write this. Here’s my idea:

- Dystopian world England, eveythings falling apart, government isn’t doing anything and there’s a lot of internal fighting. They’re on the brink of a civil war

- The main character is a young adult, between 20-25.

- Name starts with an A. Axel, Archer, Alec, hmmmm

- Lives in the … worse section of London

- He was born into a world of unrest and it only grew, but when he was younger he found a book of Arthurian myths. He clung onto the hope that Arthur would come back with all his might.

- As he grew older, he began to realize it wouldn’t happen. Just a foolish fairy tale

- He turns his focus to protecting his younger brother and sister, and eventually ends up with a bit of a gang, a close knitt family. And yeah, maybe they don’t abide by the law, but they care for each other- and at this point, the law is like a ‘mild suggestion’

- “When I was younger, I used to think Arthur would come back and save us,” He admitted. “What a foolish dream.”

- “What if he did?” His sister sat up straight, and he could practically see the wheels turning as she worked out an idea. “Who even knows what the hell Arthur looked like? He had a sword, and he was a guy. He could be you.”

- So he gets a fancy sword, learns how to use it, yada yada, and walks up to Buckingham Palace to make a move for the Throne.

- Of course, no one can prove he isn’t Arthur, and as there are many who would be glad for this to end and are taking his side, they let him stay in the Palace and go to meetings etc.

- He sneaks food and resources to his family.

- His sister is badass with a gun but is mostly known for her mind, and her wild, crazy ideas that somehow work. 17-19.

- Name is either Skylar, Sage, or Shaya

- His brother is younger, but he’s good at getting into places and getting away with stuff, and he’s very likeable. (Humorous?) Is smol bean and I protect him with my life. 12-16.

- Name is Jack

- The general age range of the gang (they need a name, hmm) is between 10-25, with some exceptions. There’s about 20-30 of them. Obviously they don’t completely abide by the law, but at this point I don’t think there is much law. So, they’re mostly morally conscious but they have to survive…

- More to be added. Working on it.

I don’t think it’s quite what everyone rebloging this had in mind, but I like it. Might give writing it a shot, who knows.

[thatdisasterauthor]

Oh I am 100% on board with this. Please do write it!

[puyopuyo]

what the fuck

[puyopuyo]

[the-worm-man]

[vivaciousarcanist]

[levil0vesyou]

I’m on mobile someone add Mr Mime

[tumblingclockwork]

[thotticus-binch]

[cardassiangoodreads]

For the last fucking time jfc:

what career historians do is not the same as what your high school history teacher does

what career historians do is not the same as what hobbyist "history buffs" on the Internet do

if you're looking at sources that are 20+ years old you cannot blame modern historians for what you find, history is a fast-moving and constantly-shifting academic field like any other

the fact that the concept of sexual orientation (which includes heterosexuality!) is only about 150 years old does not mean that people we would now call LGBTQ+, same-sex romantic and sexual behavior, gender transition, etc. have not always existed. Lots of things we can now recognize have always existed in humans, we didn't have a concept of until similarly recently (e.g. mental illness, most forms of structural oppression).

what looks "clearly gay" to someone in 2021 isn't necessarily what looked that way in 1821 or 1521 or 21 BCE, just like it's not what looks that way to people from other cultures today. It is for the benefit of LGBTQ+ people and history to recognize this, to recognize how LGBTQ+ people expressed ourselves in the past!

a lot of historians are ourselves LGBTQ+

Stop being anti-intellectual and blaming "historians" for your inability to do the most basic research on this

[brockpkmn-deactivated20221115]

ok but legitimately i think the reason why kids aren’t taking internet safety seriously is because the people who are telling us not to put our personal information out seem so out of touch. no one acknowledges the possibility of meeting very real teenaged friends online, they always say that everyone you meet is a 40 year old white man in disguise. because they aren’t acknowledging things we know are true, it becomes a lot easier to dismiss the rest of what they’re saying as well. internet safety lessons absolutely must keep up with the times and acknowledge the internet’s capacity for good if you want kids to take to heart warnings about its capacity for bad.

[ajthebumblebee]

Some actual safety tips for teenagers:

1. Have proof they're a teenager first. More than just a picture, have a video call with them.

2. If you want to meet up with them, have your parents or a trusted adult come with you. Even if they are a proven teenager, its still good to have supervision in case any issues happen.

3. If you are talking to an adult, and they start being sexual in any way, you run the fuck away. It doesn't matter if they're 40 or 20. An adult inherently has a power dynamic that teenagers do not. And its up to the adult to act responsible about it. There's exceptions of course, if you're 16 and dating an 18 year old, that's not a problem, we're not talking about that.

4. Being in a server with adults or ran by adults is not inherently bad. Talking to adults is not inherently a problem, and will likely happen in any number of Discord servers. It is only an issue when they are acting sexual and show predatory behavior.

5. Look out for grooming behavior. It can be difficult, because at first it seems like innocuous behavior, like complimenting or giving gifts. Especially if you feel lonely and have low self esteem. And groomers actively target people like that.

If they start trying to isolate you, talk sexual with you, state they depend on you for emotional needs, blame you for their own actions, try to be secretive about the relationship- Then you need to talk to people you trust, block the perpetrator, and call the police on them.

6. If this does happen to you, remember this: It is not your fault. Even if you didn't listen to a single thing listed here, it is not your fault. It is the fault of the adults who knew better, and didn't care. It's not your fault.

[tomboyjessie13]

To my followers: if any of you guys are underaged, please be very VERY careful on here, and don’t fall for any of the tricks the groomer would use on you, just block them and report them.

[greelin]

the spell can only be broken by true love’s high-five

[xeebs]

she-ra doodles i should’ve posted ages ago 😀