Alex, Sweetheart of the Internet

Get it? Like an atom smasher, except a name. Not my name though, I'm Alex. 38 year old they/he in Philly.

[adamsmasher]

[bearie]

[waitingforthet]

It’s called increasing your downline

[sludgebitch]

imagine dying for nothing and your memorial is just you standing on the ghost plinth in windows xp forever

[redstonedust]

the problem with movie remakes is that they always remake something that was already good, meaning at worst you ruin it and at best your remake is largely redundant. to make a truly good remake you need to start with source material that is absolute dogwater. ignore the pull of nostalgia. redeem the sins of moviemaking past.

[mindllessdreaming]

and the winner of superwholock is officially??? no one. we all lost. congrats team

[buggyhuman-blog]

[millenniumfucko]

[evanesia-deactivated20180518]

i’M DONE

[waitwhatdidtheysay]

[captions]

[Jean Ralphio’s lines dubbed over images from Star Wars]: “You just missed the craziest of crazies. Clubs. Girls. Dancing. Naked. MOM?! Argument. Police. Fleeing the scene. Hiding in a dumpster. Coming here. Crashing on your couch for a week ‘cause, [singing] technically I’m homeless!“

[emilianadarling]

No matter how many times I see this, it makes me laugh. 

[so-much-for-subtlety]

[magnusttsisgay-official]

Jarvis, pull up that variable meme.

[maplecinnamonbun]

i’m reminded of the developer of a mapping software who had a variable named ‘legend_handles’ that got refactored into ‘leg_handles,’ ‘leg_hands,’ and finally ‘feet’

[loveridden1999]

my two mood these days

[allonsybadwolf]

"crochet can't be made by machines" went from being a cool fun fact to being a call to action of "so if you see mass manufactured crochet in Target, that was made by a person and they were underpaid and you should boycott it" which is true, it was made by a person, but EVERY item of clothing you own (that you did not purchase from a company using ethical labor) was made by a person being underpaid (at *best*.)

Sewing machines are operated by *people*. Knitting machines are operated by *people*. Yes lots of the process is automated but you cannot tell a machine "make me a t-shirt" or "make me a knit cardigan".

Higher awareness of fast fashion, and the true human labor and abuse behind it, is GREAT, but let's not pretend that the crochet hat in target is THE problem. Every article of clothing in target is the problem. "All clothes are made by people" is the jumping off point here into understanding this issue it's not just crochet it's the whole thing ahhhhHHHHHHHHHH

[circusheart]

I do think the post that's like "when they torture you to insanity and then torture you for being insane 😂🤣" is one of the most succinct and foundational analyses of interpersonal violence and conflict that had ever been written

[adamsmasher]

Don't let the gorgeous level design and cute characters fool you, Donkey Kong 64 was my generation's Dark Souls. The Switch's N64 emulator's rewind function has made this brutal, nearly impossible game straight up enjoyable - though nothing can redeem the racing levels. Or Diddy's jetpack. Or Beaver Bother. Just... unforgivable.

[adamsmasher]

Took me 26 years to get here, not for lack of trying. Thank god for save scumming.

[adamsmasher]

Don't let the gorgeous level design and cute characters fool you, Donkey Kong 64 was my generation's Dark Souls. The Switch's N64 emulator's rewind function has made this brutal, nearly impossible game straight up enjoyable - though nothing can redeem the racing levels. Or Diddy's jetpack. Or Beaver Bother. Just... unforgivable.

[adamsmasher]

Took me 26 years to get here, not for lack of trying. Thank god for save scumming. Let's finish this.

[adamsmasher]

Don't let the gorgeous level design and cute characters fool you, Donkey Kong 64 was my generation's Dark Souls. The Switch's N64 emulator's rewind function has made this brutal, nearly impossible game straight up enjoyable - though nothing can redeem the racing levels. Or Diddy's jetpack. Or Beaver Bother. Just... unforgivable.

[prokopetz]

The real reason your sapient dragon character needs a "rider":

Dragons on the wing are vulnerable to being mobbed by smaller, more agile flyers, particularly in your large rear blind spot, like a bird of prey being mobbed by crows. Having a human armed with a long spear perched on your back helps to dissuade anyone from getting any funny ideas.

Breath weapons are impressive enough on the ground, but in flight they're really only good for strafing stationary targets; trying to use your breath weapon in an aerial dogfight is a good way to get fire up your nose. A real fight calls for sterner measures – and, concomitantly, a crew to aim and reload the cannons.

In today's competitive world, it's not enough to devour a flock of sheep and call it a day if you want to keep your edge. You're accompanied at all times by a qualified personal alchemist tasked with carefully regulating your internal furnace to ensure peak performance, and sometimes you even listen to them.

No dragon of any quality would be caught dead without their valet. It's not as though you can announce your numerous long-winded titles yourself when introductions are called for, can you? You suppose next you'll be expected to pick up the spoils of your conquests yourself, like a common brigand. Perish the thought!

[mikkeneko]

[herainsorcia]

[fox-bright]

That is DIABOLICAL museum design, A++, no notes

[despazito]

Another one for "objectively funny crimes should not be punished"