Alex, Sweetheart of the Internet

Get it? Like an atom smasher, except a name. Not my name though, I'm Alex. 38 year old they/he in Philly.

[adamsmasher]

[curseofmeatthawsmoth]

[urbxnfxck]

need this to go with my "expensive and difficult" trucker hat

[stabbydragon]

"Love/sex is what makes us human" Wrong. It's the obsession with rectangles. look around you and count the number of rectangles you see.

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

#looked up and thought ‘that can’t be hard’#and then my eyes widened with horror as I realized the sheer number of rectangles everywhere#I’m . I’m horrified

It's a good shape!

[genderfluid-and-confuzled]

thought one: yummy yummy

thought two: orange juice in my tummy

[klaasje]

really good text from my sister in law

[kingfucko]

i dont care if monday sucks... tuesday cost me sixty bucks... wednesday thursday give no fucks. it's friday im a duck

[drops-of-universe]

why do men have this eternal fear of being used for money they don’t have lol

[papidehasbi]

[gorbling]

Im enjoying the longevity of tumblrs recontextualization style of humor. a seemingly innocuous post followed by like "posts that a gnome would make" or like "are you a phone"

[gorbling]

[hapalopus]

[hapalopus]

More from the notes:

[vexwerewolf]

I love this post

[karifaevt]

The horse thinks as it scratches an itch

[rat-king-they-them]

[rat-detector-24-official]

Rat detected. Make him jiggle.

[mutipede]

Holy shit I assume everyone is doing an up and down jiggle and maybe a side to side jiggle but if you jiggle your phone forward and backwards he jiggles in and out, too

[hotvampireadjacent]

[cognitohazardous]

no one says big mood anymore. no one even says mood. no one says anything. all thats left is a dry wind, that scours my face until i bleed

[leavesofgas]

[scaryhagmother]

White people be like: I have to take my french bulldog to the chiropractor

[scaryhagmother]

[scaryhagmother]

White people be like: I have to take my elderly cat to acupuncture

[dogpuppy]

[so-much-for-subtlety]

[bearie]

[waitingforthet]

It’s called increasing your downline

[sludgebitch]

imagine dying for nothing and your memorial is just you standing on the ghost plinth in windows xp forever