Alex, Sweetheart of the Internet

Get it? Like an atom smasher, except a name. Not my name though, I'm Alex. 38 year old they/he in Philly.

[adamsmasher]

[rat-king-they-them]

[rat-detector-24-official]

Rat detected. Make him jiggle.

[mutipede]

Holy shit I assume everyone is doing an up and down jiggle and maybe a side to side jiggle but if you jiggle your phone forward and backwards he jiggles in and out, too

[hotvampireadjacent]

[cognitohazardous]

no one says big mood anymore. no one even says mood. no one says anything. all thats left is a dry wind, that scours my face until i bleed

[leavesofgas]

[scaryhagmother]

White people be like: I have to take my french bulldog to the chiropractor

[scaryhagmother]

[scaryhagmother]

White people be like: I have to take my elderly cat to acupuncture

[dogpuppy]

[so-much-for-subtlety]

[bearie]

[waitingforthet]

It’s called increasing your downline

[sludgebitch]

imagine dying for nothing and your memorial is just you standing on the ghost plinth in windows xp forever

[redstonedust]

the problem with movie remakes is that they always remake something that was already good, meaning at worst you ruin it and at best your remake is largely redundant. to make a truly good remake you need to start with source material that is absolute dogwater. ignore the pull of nostalgia. redeem the sins of moviemaking past.

[mindllessdreaming]

and the winner of superwholock is officially??? no one. we all lost. congrats team

[buggyhuman-blog]

[millenniumfucko]

[evanesia-deactivated20180518]

i’M DONE

[waitwhatdidtheysay]

[captions]

[Jean Ralphio’s lines dubbed over images from Star Wars]: “You just missed the craziest of crazies. Clubs. Girls. Dancing. Naked. MOM?! Argument. Police. Fleeing the scene. Hiding in a dumpster. Coming here. Crashing on your couch for a week ‘cause, [singing] technically I’m homeless!“

[emilianadarling]

No matter how many times I see this, it makes me laugh. 

[so-much-for-subtlety]

[magnusttsisgay-official]

Jarvis, pull up that variable meme.

[maplecinnamonbun]

i’m reminded of the developer of a mapping software who had a variable named ‘legend_handles’ that got refactored into ‘leg_handles,’ ‘leg_hands,’ and finally ‘feet’

[loveridden1999]

my two mood these days

[allonsybadwolf]

"crochet can't be made by machines" went from being a cool fun fact to being a call to action of "so if you see mass manufactured crochet in Target, that was made by a person and they were underpaid and you should boycott it" which is true, it was made by a person, but EVERY item of clothing you own (that you did not purchase from a company using ethical labor) was made by a person being underpaid (at *best*.)

Sewing machines are operated by *people*. Knitting machines are operated by *people*. Yes lots of the process is automated but you cannot tell a machine "make me a t-shirt" or "make me a knit cardigan".

Higher awareness of fast fashion, and the true human labor and abuse behind it, is GREAT, but let's not pretend that the crochet hat in target is THE problem. Every article of clothing in target is the problem. "All clothes are made by people" is the jumping off point here into understanding this issue it's not just crochet it's the whole thing ahhhhHHHHHHHHHH

[circusheart]

I do think the post that's like "when they torture you to insanity and then torture you for being insane 😂🤣" is one of the most succinct and foundational analyses of interpersonal violence and conflict that had ever been written