creamandonion🏳️‍🌈

she/her •bi• brown• 18• mentally, I'm on top of a stuck Ferris wheel•

[commiescummie]

i said what i said

[creamandonion]

I went out of the house after a long time yesterday, but I forgot how horrible going out actually is for women. I had walked no fewer than a few steps on the train station with my mom and there were a couple dozen men eyeing our every move. Like they've never seen women humans before. I forgot how stressful it actually is. And that unfamiliar familiar routine began. I began checking myself; straightened my outfit, and even after I felt so many eyes stare at us, I couldn't dare looking back. I didn't want to appear to be wanting for that attention. I hated that attention. I've been nervous about going into crowds during covid and this whole experience just made it a hundred times worse.

A man nearby just refused to look away, I looked at him a couple times and scowled, only to find him staring back at me harder. I gave up looking back. Me and my mom were a nervous wreck until my dad was back with our tickets. It felt like they were looking right through us.

"Men are just disgusting creatures" my mom remarked, frowning. I opened my mouth to argue, but no words came out. Then I really thought about it. Can I blame her for thinking that way? Can I really? Knowing that she has been stalked by two guys when she was a teenager, knowing that a man knowingly bumped into her way on a bike when she was on her scooter, and drove away laughing like it's a joke? Knowing that her first boss asked for sexual favours in return of a promotion? Knowing that she's been stared and ogled at for way longer than me, that she has been groped in trains and buses a dozen times more than I have been? Can I blame her for being afraid of my safety, every time I go out? Knowing that she fears not only my safety but also my mortality?

Being a feminist it's always weird to listen to "men are trash", because it arouses mixed feelings within us. What if you've already been groped by a man at 12 years old, before your mother tells you that men would want to touch you in places that are "private" and solely yours? What if you open social media everyday to find headlines after headlines of rape cases, and comments underneath saying "fAkE cAsE"? What if you're fed with the notion that men are predators and if you refuse to accept that, it'll cost you your life, since you were little? What if you weren't allowed to be near your uncles and male family friends a lot when you are a kid, because what if they're not the good ones?

That's when it struck me. "Not all men" would only be liable in a perfect world. And THIS is faaaar from perfect. How is it that "only a little percentage of men are bad" when everytime I go out it's a warzone within my mind and my body, to feel like covering up every inch of my body as much as possible but still feeling like I'm on display and yet another set of eyes settle on my chest?

So no, you don't get to complain about "men are trash", because this is how we navigate every day of our lives. This is the extent to which we're terrified, and this is how our every day is going to be. So unless and until you're okay with filling my shoes forever, you can't tell me I can never feel rage, because I sure as hell do, and if you still feel like saying "not all men" to try to prove a point, just don't. Our rage is valid and it's here to stay until your kind treats our kind with basic human decency and respect.

Yours fucking truly,

A "young woman"

[creamandonion]

if you're talking to me and there's a booger in your nose, you better believe I'll be staring at that booger till the end of time and not tell you about it

[mrspider-deactivated20221213]

whoever invented stuffed animals really just understood whats important in life. sometimes you just wanna hold a guy

[anarchopuppy]

If you are going to have literally no criteria for being queer, then how can you say that anyone isn't? How can you refer to any person in any context as cis/straight?

If someone tells me they’re queer I believe them. If someone tells me they’re straight I believe them. This isn’t that hard

[jeste-posting]

What so like a cis het allo person can just call themselves queer now?

[anarchopuppy]

What problem, exactly, are you so concerned about? I don’t know if you’ve noticed but queerness is still very much marginalized, it’s not as “trendy” as people try to act, and straight people aren’t tripping over themselves to call themselves queer. And if you’re worried about being “tricked” by “infiltrators”, like, you know those people can just say that they’re gay? Like they can lie? They’re not going to try and “sabotage” queer spaces by saying “hey I don’t have any marginalized orientations or identities but I’m still totally queer”, they’d just say “hey I’m super gay, love people of the same gender”

What, concretely, are you worried about happening? What’s the worst thing that could happen due to inclusivity? Because the worst things that can happen due to gatekeeping are very well-known, and I’m much more scared of that

[jeste-posting]

It’s less that it’s trendy and more like, I like having my queer-only spaces. Also queer is a bad word. All our words are bad words. They aren’t oppressed, and for a cishetallo to use a slur as their identity feels a little demeaning to me. Like I dont hate them of course but the A was never for Ally . It’s not queer to be normal

Interacting with them is cool and having them at pride I’m not opposed to but as a person who’s queer it does feel like they’re kinda dressing it up

Im gonna be honest Ive never seen people like that but like, I’m allowed to not like it

[anarchopuppy]

I’m not going to distrust and exclude people because of a problem you made up. If someone tells me they’re queer, I believe them

[doctorguilty]

[fandomsandfeminism]

You know what this made me think of today?

You know what group of people you could reasonably describe as Cis Het Allo? DRAG. (Some) Drag Queens and Drag Kings. Many of those folks do identity as Cis Het and Allo.

And like…yeah, I think drag is queer. I think that kind of gender nonconformity is super queer, and that folks like that have been an ESSENTIAL and powerful part of queer communities since…like…forever? Since the 1800s at least, ya know? (Obviously if ANYONE doesnt want to ID as queer, that’s their choice. Everyone gets to chose their own labels.)

The distinctions we have now between cis and transgender and non binary and GNC and gender queer and demiboys and demigirls and gender fluid, and the older terms that have fallen out of fashion like transvestite and transsexual are…fluid and complicated and changing and always overlapping. (And I think that is amazing! Change in our language is a wonderful thing.)

But my point is that trying to lay down hard and fast rules about who is and isnt (and was and wasn’t) queer goes against the very nature and intention of the term. The point of the word queer is that it is challenging and nebulous and allows for an authentic presentation of self without needing to fit into a box.

If someone says they are queer? GREAT. They are queer! Glad to have them.

[creamandonion]

can't wait to pick my nose in public again

[creamandonion]

[creamandonion]

Cis het men call women "whores" for having their shoulders out and then have the audacity to turn around and send unsolicited dick pics for fun💀

[rhoga]

Heart attacks symptoms are different for women. I recently learned this. 

[veggiebaker]

Everyone should know these things.

[131-di]

thanks to mainstream media and being unable to show breasts on TV, way too few people know about female signs of cardiac distress, and impending heart attacks. they only know about the “pain in the left arm” male symptom.

[mossflayer]

i had all these symptoms once and they sent me right to hospital

it was scary bc i didnt know these were the symptoms for female heart issues

[chevko]

Please, please, PLEASE, reblog this. i don’t know if I did save or called false alarm, with my boss’ life tonight. I felt I was being a bit paranoid, overreacting, but I told Mirage my thoughts and he, after reading over the article I showed him, immediately sprung into action and then shooed her off to the hospital. I don’t know if I did or not, but I knew she’d been super stressed. She’d off-handedly commented on her arm tingling and I asked her if she felt queasy on a hunch. I went to look at the symptoms and we went from there.

[francsforthememories]

Holy shit, I didn’t even think the symptoms would be different between men and women. This is so hugely important and I don’t understand why we aren’t taught this. 

[moonblossom]

One of the other symptoms that doesn’t get talked about , especially in women, is a “feeling of impending doom”. I am not even kidding, that is a legitimate diagnostic criteria. Please - if you are feeling any of these symptoms and a sudden onset of “Holy shit the world is ending” do not let anyone tell you it’s “just nerves” or “just heartburn” or something.

[babybluebanshee]

Keep these in mind ESPECIALLY IF YOU’VE GOT HEART DISEASE IN YOUR FAMILY!  So many more women die from heart attacks than because they don’t recognize the symptoms when they’re so different. Please stay safe and stay informed.

[monchursouls]

Boost

[a-cat-in-a-funky-hat]

Oh look at that. Those are all symptoms (yes even the impending doom one) I felt last week before going to hospital after all. Would have been nice to know beforehand, but after all I had suspected a heart attack 🤷🏻‍♀️

[miss-nejire]

I learned a few things from this, please stay safe everyone!!💞💖💞💖

[bluebandana]

girl help i’m romanticizing situations

[creamandonion]

It's so weird when people use an absence of diagnosis as a reason to be shitty. On a general note: fidgeting, throwing tantrums, zoning out, stimming, sensory issues etc. are all considered irksome until neurotypicals are magically handed an explanation for them to decide how valid your neurodivergency is for them. All these coping mechanisms ARE valid, diagnosis or not. A diagnosis won't fix the biases neurotypicals feel about you, period. They either understand or they don't. Fuck that. These traits aren't suddenly valid because of a diagnosis, they've always been and always will be valid.

You don't need to constantly prove and explain your existence to make a bunch of assholes feel comfortable. Don't BE that asshole.

[nothorses]

Yall know that “toxic masculinity” refers to expressions of masculinity that are toxic, right? it doesn’t imply that all masculinity is toxic- it’s used to talk about like, how people will repress their emotions aside from anger in order to seem “manly”, and how they might act in violent or self-destructive ways because that is what society expects of men.

masculinity is not inherently toxic. it hasn’t been poisoned or corrupted. it is a neutral concept, a kind of gender presentation, and it doesn’t make you a bad, unhealthy, or toxic person to be masculine.

masculinity does not need to be “soft” to be acceptable, it can just be neutral. because it is not toxic, just sometimes expressed in toxic ways or for toxic reasons.

[ninjakittenarmy]

Does this mean there is toxic femininity?

[nothorses]

imo? Yes.

Like when white women fake cry to win arguments, or to appear to be the victim (despite how much damage they may have caused), or when female abusers point to their femininity as a reason they couldn’t possibly be hurting anyone. Or when the girls in school weaponize their performances of femininity against more androgynous, less traditionally attractive, or more masculine girls.

Plenty of cis women have a similarly toxic relationship to femininity as cis men do to masculinity. A good example of a less material expression might be the tendency to self-martyr, using the “caregiver” role to guilt trip and gaslight, and abuse in a more manipulative, emotional/mental way than the physical aggression more typical with toxic masculinity.

The patriarchy rewards gender conformity, and requires cis people of both genders to uphold it. Cis women are at a structural disadvantage to cis men regardless, but can absolutely gain more social power by adhering more strictly to traditional femininity- and weaponize that power against others.

[antiqua-lugar]

There absolutely is toxic feminity and the fact that this aspect is not discussed frankly worries me, because it perpetues the “men bad, women good (nb people? never heard of them)” mindset which belong to fringes of feminism I’d like to stay the hell away from. 

[bakwaaas]

enemies to lovers romance between me and myself

[creamandonion]

Here's your daily reminder that not everyone's on their tiptoes to see you fail, and not everyone is rooting for your failure. If you were raised in an overly "hustle to be perfect" culture, you were given no grace to fail, and even the littlest mistake makes you a subject of ridicule and all of your capabilities are put on a pedestal.

Trust me when I say, there are people who see you more than just your achievements and who you can turn to when you're overcome with failure. It gets easier. 🦄🌈✨

[entertainingfaith]

I'M DOING AN EXPERIMENT

To prove something to a friend, please

REBLOG IF YOU THINK ASEXUALS BELONG IN LGBTQ+ SPACES

LIKE IF YOU THINK ASEXUALS DON’T BELONG IN LGBTQ+ SPACES

[spacexualkids]

:)

[ladyofthefanart]

REBLOGGING SO HARD.

[too-easily-obsessed]

YOU BETTER FUCKING BELIEVE IM REBLOGGING WTF

[sakuraaa-s]

GET 👏🏼 RID 👏🏼 OF 👏🏼 ACE/AROPHOBIA 👏🏼

[sylveonagainstddlg-deactivated2]

im gonna reblog this everytime i see it ,,

[sjw-hitgirl]

REBLOG THIS ALREADY!

[creamandonion]

Does everyone have a crime drama, a sitcom and an anime queued up on Netflix at the same time or is it just me

[creamandonion]

The people who read The Rainbow Series, Dork Diaries or The Diary of a Wimpy Kid while growing up are all depressed elite bad bitches now. And all of them collectively hate people who read Horrid Henry. I don't make the rules.