CC | Ruby | She/her | INFP 2w1 | Multishipper
My side blog with just my created Hogwarts Legacy stuff since my main blog has so many reblogs lol :3 All the rules of my og blog still apply here, so pls keep that in mind. Thx for stopping by!! š„°
Hi guys!! My name is Creampuffclouds, but you can also refer to me by CC or Ruby, my real name!! Iām an artist who loves to make drawings, comics, and other fun silly stuff about my hyperfixations!!šĀ
This pic by meš. Profile pic by @cheonchi. Blog bg created by my wonderful and talented friends š„°
Current hyperfixation: Hogwarts Legacy
Main blog here
Reblog & yap blog here
Gifts gallery
My Story
My longfic: Mirror of the Ancient Bluelake
Fanfic tag 1, fanfic tag 2, table of contents
Writing tag (for any fic Iāve written)
My (main) HL OCs
Bee (Beatrice) Bluelake
Tag 1, tag 2, bee & oc tag, yapping tag, fanart tag, fanfic tag, Pinterest board
Jocie (Jocelyn) Bell
Tag 1, tag 2, Jocie & oc tag, yapping tag, fanart tag, fanfic tag, Pinterest board
Mund (Edmund) Darborne
Tag 1, tag 2, Mund & oc tag, yapping tag, fanart tag, fanfic tag, Pinterest board
āAceā (Abel) Adam Apple
Tag 1, Tag 2, Ace & oc tag, yapping tag, fanart tag, fanfic tag, Pinterest board
For the tag game winky made :3 (Thank you for the tags @winkywynz5 @87percentcreativity and @ravenothere) Og tag game post here (pls reblog with your Picrew from her post gor u can reblog this without a picrew too if you likeš„°)
I think this could count as a Yapsesh seeing how in depth I went with the analysis, so tagging the yapsesh list peeps
purity, humility, protection, devotion, love, loss
Tbh the original reason I chose this flower for her is bc I kept seeing it on Pinterest and it instantly became one of my favorite flowersš¤
for the symbolic meaning though, it does relate to her on many levels. Iām sure most of the traits listed above are self-explanatory, but I would like to dive into the aspect of loss.
This is a very common theme that present in her story; both the losses MC usually faces in-game, as well as several others unique to her. They are each and all cause her great pain, but in the end serve as hallmarks in her character growth and development.
Jocie: Pink primroses
young love, optimism, protection, affection, femininity, unrequited feelings
Once again, originally chose this flower because I thought the name suited her tastesš¤ And Iām sure you can relate its meaning to her personality.
for the unrequited feeling aspect, I feel like this could reflect upon not only the AUs where Ominis rejects her overwhelming affection, but also the one-sided care she seems to have for most people.
As you might know, she doesnāt have the best relationship with her family, which is very dysfunctional; so she often feels like her love for them is unreturned or not reciprocated as strongly. Even when she does find someone who loves her back, she canāt help the lingering doubt that it wonāt last or isnāt true.
Mund: ghost orchid
a rare flower associated with mystery, impermanence, memory, grief
Some of you may know this, but his father passed away when he was young. Because of this, heās always carried his grief and depression onward with him in life. Hence āthe ghost flowerā; I think a clear representation of his fatherās visiting spiritš¤
This event and its effects on Mund were so profound I believed this flower was best suited to him. (Wish this section couldāve been longer but I think it gets to the root of itā¦.get itš¤)
Ace: yellow petunias
resilience, love, strength, but also sometimes hidden disappointment
Ace was a bit harder to find a flower for, but in the end I settled for a petunia: more specifically a yellow petunia, which, alongside a petuniaās base meaning, can also represent dissatisfaction or disappointment.
This can apply to several things; the resentment he carried toward his deadbeat dad, his love for Bee (which is unrequited in inverses where sheās shipped with someone else)ā¦but most of all disappointment toward himself. For being unable to properly provide for his family. For being unable to achieve his dreams. For just never being his definition of āenoughā.
That alongside the petuniaās base meaning (listed above) Iād say encapsulate him well.
I had this idea for a lil itty bitty chart and figured what the hell š¤Ŗ What's your MC's strengths, weaknesses? What's their special move in combat? It could be anything, from an Ancient Magic move to a specific spell, or even some psycological trick that works on Ashwinders every time.
No pressure tags and other blank chart options under the cut! Even if you weren't tagged, don't hesitate to jump in! JUST TAG ME I WANNA SEE UR BLORBIES š¹š¹š¹
Thanks for the tag @blue-birdie612 šš sorry it took me a while to get back to thisš
THE FIGHTERS ARE READY!! CHOOSE YOUR CHARACTER
*outlined circles are the AUs where they have Ancient Magic
ART NOT BY ME: I was too lazy to go searching for good pics of my BBs in my photo album so I pulled some from their Pinterest boards insteadš provided links down below :3
Thought it was time to do one of these for my sweet avocado boyš„°
1. Eeyore: for his gloomy and melancholic side. Plus, theyāre both very huggableš„°
2. Beth March: reflects his kind, gentle, and accepting nature; and the appreciation he has for the small things in lifeš
3. Sunny (OMORI): they share the habit of disassociating and escaping from reality when things get too much for them. And theyāre both poker facesš¤
4. Luka (Miraculous): represents his loyal, wise, and altruistic side. Like Luka, Mund is someone you can always talk to and count on.
5. Luna Lovegood: theyāve both got this dreamy, not-quite-all-there quality to them, dreamers and gentle souls at heartš
6. Yuri (DDLC): where his insecure, anxious, and shy side surfaces. Like Yuri, he has a tendency of overly fixating on things he likes, and struggles in social situations.
Love love your face claims, especially Renn š„°! Anyway, my babes!!
Carina: Natalie Dormer! Just make her albino and turn those eyes violet.
Orpheus: Alec Lightwood, played by Matthew Daddario. Like we needed more spam after Orpheusā birthday š¤ Just make the eyes Azure blue.
Tobi: Matthew McConaughey(the younger version) just make the hair pink and the eyes jade green and boom, Tobi!
Though recently rotting for his Roselight ship I see Dean Di Laurentis from Off Campus, Iāll die on that hill!
Devon: Leland Francis Fraser, just slap some freckles and heterochromia on him and there you have it!
Amanda: The obvious answer is me and Iāll include my favorite selfie for giggles hahaha. But if Iām gonna pick a celebrity, Iāll choose Amy Adams or Drew Barrymore. Both of whom I get compared to.
Thank you for coming to Amandaās OC Faceclaim Ted talk, Iāll see myself out!
Made the birthday boy a few Orphelyn drawings based on some of the pins we have in their gigantic boardš¤
Wishing him the happiest of birthdays todayšš @amus2110 thank you for giving me the chance to get to know such a multidimensional and fascinating character! (Jocie sends 500 more thanks as wellš¤)
Got another thing planned for him Iāll try and have done tmrw :3
I was gonna make a post dedicated to the new character designs for my OCs, but I think Iāll just reveal them through regular drawings š¤ I have ideas I want to get downš
Jocieās has already been revealed, as you can see in this post š the changes include:
- her hairās been pulled into a part pony! She loves her fiery wild mane but sheās gotta keep it out of her eyes to see her beloved betterš¤
- her eye color has changed a bit! Before it was a sort of seafoam green bc I couldnāt decide between giving her green and blue eyes, but now Iāve gone full into the green and given her beautiful sparkling emerald orbs š
- more prominent freckles! She had them before on her face, but now theyāre scattered all across her body! I thought they suited her āØ
- not a design change, but Iāve also changed her voice claim! Voice claim is Saoirse Ronan now, to celebrate the Irish half of her lineage! I thought it would add an extra touch of flavor to her speaking tone <3
Also a change Iāll reveal for one other character! I said Bee is getting shorterā Iām specifically shrinking her down to the wee pint size of 4ā11 š„°
As for the other design changes for Bee and the boys, youāll have to wait and seeš
Congratulations to @elkingwriter, @lilredcamaro14, @amethystandemma, @ghosti-hl, and @elisalsaa for guessing correctly on Jocieās design changes! š youāll get surprise prizes someday soon! <3
Everyone else can still guess more design changes for other characters in the comments of this postā so be sure to do that before I post my next drawings with them!! youāll get prizes if you guess any correctly! (Oh and pro tip- try and be specific!)š«¶
Final update (unrelated but important!):
I feel like Iāve been getting really disconnected from my canon as of late, and thatās brought me down a bit because Iāve been developing that since when the game first came out. It doesnāt seem fair to neglect itš Iām gonna be focusing mostly on my canon ships and ideas for a while now, making exceptions only for birthdays and art trades, as well as the occasional gift. Thanks for understanding š wishing you all wellš
Just finished reading your most recent Yapsesh and was wondering how it would play out if bee encountered the misogyny now that sheās older?
Hi anon! Thanks for the questionš Iāll try to answer this with sensitivity and respect.
I guess it sort of depends on the sort of misogyny weāre talking about here. Like any form of prejudice, it comes in many different forms, some worse than others.
Iāll start with milder stuff like sexist comments/jokes, catcalls, etc. Sheās mostly irritated by it. Though if itās directed toward her, sheās more likely to ignore it than make any sort of scene. Meanwhile if itās directed toward other girls or women in general, sheās more likely to calmly but firmly (and with obvious annoyance) bring it up to dispute.
This reflects her stance toward feminism that I mentioned earlier in the Yapsesh post: she supports it for other women, but her low self esteem sabotages the same sentiment toward herself.
Going into the next level Iād say is outright prejudice. Slurs, discrimination, you know what I mean. She. Cannot. Stand this. She recognizes this as being actively and consciously harmful, and wonāt let it slide or simply let it off with a warning. Youāll see her engaging in heated arguments, participating in feminist protests, and even actively defying authority if she feels itās rooted in bigotry.
This form of sexism and anything worse will trigger a deep-rooted righteous anger that will always spur her to action.
The next section focuses on a more serious topic that I donāt explicitly name or go into detail about, but I will still put this warning here to be safe.
For the more serious forms of misogynyā¦she most certainly will not just stand by, and will actively fight back with everything she has. She wonāt stand for herself or anyone else (of any race, gender, age, background, etc.) to be treated in this way. Peacekeeping, conflict-avoidant Bee is gone. She will always fight injustice to protect anyone in actual danger.
Not part of the ask discussion, but I will include one final message:
To everyone reading this, remember you arenāt alone, and help is always available. That goes to anyone reading this. Abuse and prejudice is never ever okay, regardless of who you are or who they are. If you need help, please reach out and speak out. We all need to support and protect one another, and we all deserve to be treated with kindness, dignity, and humanityš
We know about Beeās childhood- time to learn about Jocieās!! (Though I canāt reveal everything bc spoilersš)
Jocie was born to purebloods Octavia and Demetrius Belldown, more commonly known as the Bells.
Sheās the middle child of 5, the order being:
- Grace: 24
- William: 19
- Jocie: 16
- Bertha: 11
- Warren: 7
Her family didnāt engage much with pureblood politics, and was largely ignored as a result. The Bell family primarily kept to themselves, as they sought to build their own legacy outside of their pureblood status. Their own relatives largely disregarded them. It wasnāt much of a surprise when the pureblood Belldown family name was lost to time.
Growing up, she was known as the wild child of her family. She could usually be found romping around outside, or exploring areas she shouldnāt be.
She would always bring a notebook with her to write down everything she learned. She also brought a large bag to carry interesting things that she found.
She was very close with her cousin, Garreth Weasley, growing up, and often went on these adventures with him. The two often got into mischief together, and acted more like twins than cousins.
She was also very close with her aunt Matilda Weasley, who was more of a mother figure to her than her own mom.
Whenever she wasnāt doing this, you could likely find her nose-deep in a book. She loved learning anything and everything she could, and would attempt to put what she learned into practice. Her family got called in for a violation of the Underage Restriction of Magic rule a few times because she kept stealing her older siblingsā wands to practice.
More than anything, she longed to learn how to fly. Several times, she āborrowedā her older sisterās broom to practice flying. Her brother, William, who also used to do this, would give her secret flying lessons.
She is also a huge fan of the Holyhead Harpies, which sheās longed to join ever since she was a child.
Her parents fought fairly often, and only did so more and more as the years passed. Sheād grown up in this environment with her siblings her whole life, and learned to suppress her own feelings to comfort her younger sister and brother after her older siblings left (which was fairly early). This suppression of negative emotions carried on to the present.
She has a strained relationship with her mother, who was very strict and emotionally distant. Jocie carries a bit of resentment toward her mother for this; but at the same time, desperately wanted to please her and earn her approval. This began her frequent pattern of people-pleasing.
On the other hand, she was closer to her father, who taught her how to make candy; a skill his own father, a successful candy maker, had taught him.
Both of her parents, for whatever reason, were far stricter with her than her other siblings. Though she never determined the exact reason why, she always assumed it was because she was so much more bold and rebellious than her siblings were.
At first, she tried to remedy this by acting how she supposed they wanted her too. When this didnāt work, she turned to rebelliousness in her frustration.
As she always had to stick to a certain act at home (she and her siblings were still pureblood children with certain expectations placed upon them), she took school as an opportunity to act out.
This didnāt please either of her parents, distancing them more and more. By the time she was a teenager, she had a fairly strained relationship with both of them. When she started attending Hogwarts, she gradually began to fall out of contact with them.
A similar thing happened with her older siblings, who were moving on with their lives. She mostly spoke with her younger siblings whenever she came home, though even their relationship was made somewhat awkward due to her tense relations with their parents.
As far as friends went, she actually made them surprisingly easily despite her rather intense personality. Her loyalty, warmth, and boundless energy attracted her peers and gave her the companionship sheād always lacked at home.
Despite this, it still never felt enough for her. She longed for something more. Even despite her amiable relationship with her father in childhood, sheād always been deprived of a certain parental closeness. She tried to fill this hole by entering into relationships as a teenager.
She entered into many, and all very quickly. She found dating and flings to be very a very fun and enjoyable pastime, and began doing it regularly as one of her frequent hobbies.
However, there was still that hole in her heart longing for deeper connection beyond the physical relations she engaged in. For the longest time, she ignored this by spending all her time in relationship after relationship.
Then she met Ominis. And her heart told her he was the One True Love sheād been searching for her whole life. The one who could āfix herā. āHeal herā. āComplete herā.
(Which obviously isnāt something anyone else can do, but that was her mindset at the time)
ā¦..and thatās all I can come up with for now ;3 hope you had fun reading lol
omggggg the amount of brainrotting Iāve done for LoveLake and orphelyn the past few daysā¦š
AND NOW IāVE GOT A SONG ESSAY FOR THE LATTER!!!š the song is āHis Handsā by Blegh- itās very niche, but itās got a rly cool kindāve feel to it! <3 I think @sallowsoulĀ mightĀ like this (I hope soš) too so Iāll also tag her
Without further adoā¦.song essay for orphelyn!!! For @amus2110
The song is here:Ā
Tagging my peeps who said they were interested in my yapsš:Ā
@light-of-the-room , @sallowsoul , @lyra-prag , @karajluce , @dovewonderland. Also, Laura, Iām working on the LoveLake pictureš
The essay begins below the cut (warning: this is VERY VERYYYYY LONG)
The sound
The lyrics have a LOT of analysis so letās cover the sound of it first!!! First- probably the most noticeable thing is the slightly erratic heartbeat sound that plays all throughout the sound. Perfectly conveys Jocieās feelings of deep infatuationš¤ Thereās also the atmospheric bits (idk what instruments those are if theyāre instruments at all lol)- not something youād think to associate with Jocie. But if you know the full scope of her character like I do, youād understand that this haunting notes fit her rather well actually. Also, the saxophone (is that what that is?? Idk instruments lmaoš @le-rryder help meeeee) perfectly conveys her classy and romantic side, and contributes to the slight air of mysteryš Plus- the pacing!!! Well- just listen to the song yourself and follow along with the lyrics, and youāll see what I mean!!!
The lyrics
BUCKLE UP THIS IS GONNA BE A DOOZY
āI kissed every strangerā
IMMEDIATELY references her serial flirting habits before Orpheus. Most of the flings she had were with total strangers; only a few remained friends after (Adair was one of those friends, @amethystandemma ;3)
āI kept changing his mind, he kept changing my mindā
Iām taking āheā as an ambiguous term here for the person sheās currently with. Reflects her indecisive and fickle nature. With every person she gets together with, she does consider something more; but ultimately changes her mind and moves onto the next person. For her, if her feelings arenāt overwhelming and all-consuming, itās not the āTrue Loveā sheās searching for.Ā
āHe feels handcrafted just for you. But heās a little bit too far away andā¦.you canāt, you canātā
I take this line as referencing Ominis, who she was originally infatuated with. She had believed him to be her true love, but after one too many rejections, she finally accepts that maybe he isnāt the one sheās looking forš
āAnd you know youāll be gone by the morningā
After she gives up pursuing Ominis, she tries to go back to her old dating habits, but it never does feel quite the same after actual love escaped her grasp. She doesnāt even try to establish connections with these partners now, simply having the fun with them and then moving on.Ā
āProlonged eye contact in casual conversationāĀ
This is when she starts to first notice Orpheus. Immediately, she feels a sort of pull to him; something about the intensity of his gaze despite his stoic exteriorĀ immediately draws her attention and reels her in. She sets her sights onto him, and grows increasingly fascinated by him the more they get to know each other.Ā
āYouāre too real for me. You should go to someone better, Iāll give you to someone betterā
Even though sheās hopeful that he could be the one, those lingering doubts are still in her mind. She drove Ominis away because she overwhelmed him and came off too strong. And before this; sheās always been deeply insecure. Now that sheās felt the sting of rejection, sheās afraid to feel it again. So, she still tries to keep somewhat of an emotional distance even as she keeps pursuing Orpheus. She believes that while they could have a fun āphysicalā relationship, heād deserve someone better than her in the long-term.Ā
āI have friends that wonāt feel like monstersā
Her main source of insecurity are in fact, her intense tendencies. She heated how jealous she gets; how obsessive and possessive and controlling she gets. She really does try to keep it under control, but itās hard. And sheās not always successful. As a result, she canāt help but feel like a monster whenever this behavior ends up hurting someone she does genuinely care about.š
āBeing unwantedā¦and wanting too muchā
Her lifeās story in a nutshell. Her parents were never able to provide quite what she needed growing up. They loved herā¦but she always did feel somewhat neglected; the forgotten child in her siblingsā shadows, if you will. Because of this perceived rejection, she chases attention from anywhere and everywhere else she can, which is why she loves and feels so intensely.Ā
She doesnāt want to be alone.Ā
āFeeding the idea of youā¦leaving you starvingā
This applies both to Ominis and Orpheus Iād say. She idealizes both due to her extreme idealism, blinding her to their flaws and the realities of the situation ships. Thatās why it takes so long for her to realize that Ominis really isnāt interestedā¦.and that Orpheus actually is. She spends so much time pursuing them, she never stops to reflect on what it is she actually has with them.
āNot god. Not us- but something in the middle. But you know I was still down on my knees, like it was a religion.ā
Now this really hammers home just how intense her idealism and infatuation is. itās not just a little crush for her, oh no. This isĀ big. This is serious. This is like her religion. Her one belief that sheās hold onto her whole life, is the idea of soulmates. So she spends her whole life chasing that idea down to heal the wounds of her inner child.
āCloser, closer, and closer and closer- foggy windowsā
A bit symbolic for how she keeps trying to push herself closer to him, but still canāt see the clear reality of it due to the sheer intensity of her feelings.Ā
āI knew it was you the whole time: I knew it was you, while I was with himā
Even before she officially started pursuing Orpheus, she did notice him a few times while still going after Ominis. Even that early on, heād caught her attention; it just wasnāt until sheād finally let Ominis go that she realized where her heart truly lied.Ā
āI knew it was you when you sang me that song you wrote about herā
Iām imagining the āsongā to be his love letters to herš„¹ Iād like to think she suspected it was him even before she actually figured it outĀ
āThe night before, half out of my mindāĀ
The beginnings of her drowning in obsession. She herself recognizes it; sheās much more aware of this side of her now after her experience with Ominis. Sheās trying harder than before to contain it; but her obsessions torment her whenever sheās alone. Itās like a disease. A wonderful, awful, beautiful disease.
āAnd you know you love him, and you might be in love with him.ā (Repeat)
She knows she loves him. Heās hot I mean-š but the more and more time she spends with himā¦.the more she begins to wonder if she actuallyĀ lovesĀ him.
āAnd you know you love him, and youāre falling in love with himā. (Repeat)
Thereās no denying it now; sheās falling in love with this boy. And she really doesnāt know what to do with that, hence the constant repeats and escalating music of the song. On one hand; sheās thrilled. She finally found him, her Soulmate. On the otherā¦.sheās terrified. She saw the kindāve person she could become when she was in love with Ominis; and now that she was even more in love with Orpheus, she doesnāt want to find out the kindāve person she can be if she lets herself get too involved with him. She loves him. Loves him so much itās painful. Itās driving her mad. Itās perfect. Itās horrible. Itās everything.
āI think I was searching for the taste of youā¦.in every one.ā
This would apply to AU where she decides not to be with him. She decides not to risk hurting him or anyone else by giving into her obsessionā¦and forces herself to break off. But he forever haunts her mind. She never forgets him.Ā
At the request of my beloved Valentine, itās time for my second yapsesh: this time about SeBee!!!š„° there will be MANY more about them- so this is the first of many!!šš
Yapping begins below the cut!ā¬ļø
The main reason I ship them is because theyāre the last people youād expect to end up togetherš
Beeās preferences are covered in more detail here, but basically, for guys, she tends to lean more toward the quieter, gentler, more reserved ones (like Nevilleš)
This is because she faced a lot of misogyny as a young girl growing up in the 19th century, and sheās grown to be wary around more outspoken and assertive guysĀ
Which is why she is so surprised by her attraction to Sebastian. Because heās exactly the kindāve guy sheās trained herself to avoid: confident, flirty, rebellious; a ābad influenceā and ābad ideaā in her mindš¤
So she tries to keep an emotional distance at first, even though she gets a crush on him pretty much as soon as they meet in DADA. Sheās willing to be his friend, but nothing more.
ā¦..until the restricted section. After he didnāt bail her out and risked a detention for her, despite the two barely even knowing each other at the time, that pretty much turned everything around for her.
Bee is the kindāve girl whoās attracted to personality and actions; not so much looks. His real loyalty in this instance is what ultimately made her initial defensive stance start to crumble (and made her crush grow even more).āŗļøš
After that, she allowed herself to be more open with him, though the opening up process was still slow and gradual with her, and took place over years.Ā
On Sebastianās end, falling for Bee was also unexpected. Mostly bc in my story, he actually wasnāt that interested in many girls.
He flirts with them all the time, yes, but as far as genuine attraction goes, thatās a rare thing for him. So getting a crush alone (and so soon within meeting her) is already a surprise for him.
Thereās also the fact that sheās not the kindāve girl heād expected himself to fall for. Sheās quiet, shy, timid, and much more of a rule follower than him, so at first heās confused by his own attraction.
However, this confusion quickly turns to infatuation as he gets to know her more. It doesnāt take long for her to (accidentally) endear herself to him, and he actually finds himself enjoying their many differences, rather than fighting against them.Ā
He also loves how slow she is to open up. For him, itās like uncovering a puzzle: the most intriguing puzzle in the world. She has so many contradictions that just fascinate him:
Sheās quiet, but opinionated. Sheās kind, but sheās not a pushover. Sheās respects authority, but she also always follows her heart. Sheās gentle and mild, but sheās also got a hidden temper.
All of these nuances to her just excite and delight him in the best of ways, and he loves talking with her and spending time with her to learn more.
Another thing I love about their relationship is how they challenge each other. Usually, when people think of Sebās storyline, thereās really only 2 options: support him, or donāt. But Bee doesnāt choose either of those: she chooses both.
Sheās always there for him when he needs her, and provides a listening ear and shoulder to cry on. However, she doesnāt support his involvement in the dark arts, and actively tries to steer him away from this toward other alternatives to curing Anne.Ā
She, like him, wants to heal Anne; she just refuses to do it through the dark arts as she doesnāt want him to suffer, get hurt, or hurt anyone else. In other words: she guides, supports, and heals, rather than enablesš
ā¦.Iāll end the yapping there for now, but I could go on about them forĀ agesš Iāll save those for future yap posts though :3 thanks for reading š„°š (and Jominis yapsesh is nextš)
Tagging my peeps who said they were interested in my yapsš:Ā
She has HORRIBLE luckš always have and always will. Besides the comedic (and angstš) purposes for this, there is actually aĀ reasonĀ for this that I will yap about in more depth somedayš (Lore! Lore! Lore!)
Her hair grows unusually LONG unusually FAST due to her ancient magic; in my story, her ancient magic abilities also include strong healing and regenerative abilities, so if she cuts off her hair, itās quick to grow back. Her grandparents had to trim it pretty much every month so it didnāt grow too long and she doesnāt turn into RapunzelšĀ
Also remember how I said Iād draw short haired Bee someday? Well Iām planning on drawingĀ longĀ haired Bee as wellā¦.
Besides spellbooks and fantasy stories, Bee also grew to really love books about women, written by women. That was still fairly new in the time period, and as she too wanted to write a book someday, reading these were very comforting and inspiring for her š
Some of her favorites include Little Women, Pride and Prejuduce, and Jane Eyre
These books also helped shape her feminist beliefs and stance growing upĀ
As a child, she loved to wear pretty dresses (still does) but was also much more of a tomboy in terms of the kindāve activities she did. Yes, she did bake and draw, and did love having tea parties with her many dolls; but she also loved rolling down hills, splashing through streams, and getting her dress dirty to look at cool bugsššš
Angst factsĀ
She was rather ostracized by her peers growing up. For one thing, she was quiet: too shy to really reach out and talk to many people. And those she did try to talk to were turned off by her odd mannerisms and interests.
She wasnāt outright bullied for this as much as she was ignoredā¦though she was sadly bullied for other reasons which Iāll explain belowā¦š
Growing up in 1890, it was already pretty much set in stone sheād have a hard time being a girl.Ā
She was really small for most of her life until she got a growth spurt in the later half of middle school, which made her an even bigger target forā¦
Misogyny. Sheā¦faced a lot of this, sadlyš Nothing traumatic, I will say, but it was as definitely bad enough to have a lasting impact on her as sheās nowā¦
Even more anxious and timid than she likely wouldāve been otherwise
Very defensive when it comes to relationships with boys (I will cover this in more detail in another yapsesh so I donāt go off-topic)
she was also somewhat picked on for her neurodivergence, though this was more backhand gossip and whispering rather than outright bullyingĀ
ā¦I think thatās all for now!! I might add more if I get any other ideas, but there are SOOOOO many topics for me to yap about so I think Iāll end it here <3 thx for reading š
Iāve actually been thinking about doing this for several months now, bc Iāve been really wanting to make posts dedicated to just yapping about my OCs/OTPsš
Iām hoping that by letting out my yaps that way, I wonāt keep getting carried away in replying to asksš I could just be like: āyap yap yap, oh and hereās a link to another post exploring the subject in more detail <3ā
or something like that š
Anyway, I think Iām actually gonna do that :3 I was gonna ask if you guys wanted that, but then I remembered this is my blog and I can technically post whatever I wantš
So if youāre interested in reading those yaps, simply comment below, and Iāll be sure to tag you on my yap posts <3
Iām guessing @light-of-the-room will wanna hear them (as youāve told me many times beforeš¤), and @lyra-prag I can tag you too if you want :3 Also gonna ask if @sallowsoul is interested, since I know you love yapping (and idk if youāre as interested in hearing other popās yaps, but if you are, just lemme knowš my feelings wonāt be hurt if you arenāt, bc I know I get carried awayš )
First, Iāll establish, as we know, that Bee exists in 1890 :3 Now, Iām aware that the world of Hogwarts Legacy is portrayed as being much more progressive than how things historically were in England in this time period. In my analysis, I take both this portrayal and the historical account into my interpretation for the context of Beeās story.
As I may have brought up before, Bee grew up facing a lot of misogyny. It wasnāt anything traumatizing, but it was enough to leave a lasting impact on her self esteem, and relationship with gender roles in society.
Most of the misogyny she faced growing up came in the form of teasing and sometimes even bullying, primarily from boys in her class. While most of them didnāt have malicious intentions or even realize the impact of their actions, it made her very self conscious of her own identity as a girl.
Bee is, by nature, a very āfeminineā girl. She likes wearing dresses. She likes playing with dolls. She likes traditional āgirlā things like baking and knitting. Her personality too leans toward what one would associate with the ātraditional ideal womanā: gentle, mild-mannered, kind, agreeable, and nurturing.
And this plays a large part into her own self-loathing.
Sheās aware that her personality and interests align with what the current society claims to be the āideal womanā; and she heavily resents that. She hates the idea of anyone (not just women) being forced or pressured into any sort of societal image, and feels as if she is playing into the one for women just by being who she is.
Because of this, she feels a sort of shame toward expressing her femininity and emotional vulnerability. While she does still express and enjoy it, she also keeps it hidden to a certain extent.
Because she was teased for her āgirlinessā in the past, she now hesitates to express this side of herself to those she doesnāt deeply trust. Sheāll try and contain her excitement when she sees cute clothes she wants to get. Sheās stubbornly independent and tries to convince herself and others she never needs help. She puts up certain barriers that make emotional vulnerability, which would otherwise come naturally to her, difficult.
In essence, sheās afraid. But sheās also ashamed. By holding herself up to her standard to go against what society expects her to be, sheās still, in essence, going against herself. In her effort to fight for womenās freedom to express their true selves, she herself suppresses her own nature.
She wants to cry openly when sheās sad. She wants to ask for help and admit she canāt do everything on her own. She wants to be able to trust guys without feeling afraid with every interaction. She wants to be free to fully express herself.
But she canāt.
āBecause it would be selfish to do so.ā
Iāll say my other thoughts in bullet points bc I canāt figure out how to segue these cleanly lol:
She does not carry these same sentiments toward other girls. In her mind, itās perfectly fine for them to express themselves in whatever ways they want. Itās only herself that she wonāt allow this same freedom of expression.
Yes, as I mentioned before, Bee does have a small underlying fear toward guys in general. Sheās a teenage girl, sheās attending a school full of teenage boys. She may be innocent but sheās not naive. Sheās aware of what could happen if sheās not careful, and keeps emotional barriers up around them for this reason.
She has these barriers with girls too, though theyāre not as bad as sheās more used to interacting with other girls.
Secretly though, she is drawn to the assertive types (of any gender). She admires their confidence and finds herself both drawn in and wary.
She too may try and pass herself off as being more self assured than she really feels in an attempt to impress someone. (It usually doesnāt work because she wears her heart on her sleeveš¤)
For interactions with guys specifically, she puts on something of a ātougher actā. Warm and caring like she usually is, but also somewhat emotionally aloof/closed off. Also very stubborn about being solely self-reliant. VERY stubborn. This is a result of her not wanting them to look down on her for being a girl (like she was in the past).
When they try to tease or mess with this persona, she can at times become defensive and avoidant (tsundere!!), especially if theyāre trying to flirt. In reality, she secretly hopes they do see through this facade and are willing to accept who she really is under the exaggerated bravado.
(Small note: her tsundere side surrenders quicker if treated with genuine understanding rather than teasing)
She herself is aware of her own shame complex and is trying to more comfortably express her femininity now that sheās getting older (she was rather a tomboy as a kid actually; romping in the woods, looking for frogs, making mud potions)
In modern AU, when societal pressures have eased slightly, sheās much more comfortable expressing her femininity and being her authentic self.
ā¦.I guess Iāll end my yapsesh there so I donāt go rambling on and on into a mini novellaš Iāll prob make more posts exploring this and similar topics, because I personally find the subject a fascinating thinking + discussion pointš
Would love to hear what your thoughts are in comments/dms (and hopefully discuss more!!!š)
