Yapsesh 5: Bee’s Relationship with Gender Roles and Self Esteem
Oh man it’s been forever since I’ve done one of these!!🤭 I was inspired though and had to jot this down👀
CW: self-loathing, misogyny (and also possibly internalized misogyny? I’m not sure if this counts or not but just in case I’ll tag it here)
Tagging the Yapsesh list peeps:
@light-of-the-room, @sallowsoul, @lyra-prag, @karajluce, @dovewonderland, @amus2110, @baby-snakey
First, I’ll establish, as we know, that Bee exists in 1890 :3 Now, I’m aware that the world of Hogwarts Legacy is portrayed as being much more progressive than how things historically were in England in this time period. In my analysis, I take both this portrayal and the historical account into my interpretation for the context of Bee’s story.
As I may have brought up before, Bee grew up facing a lot of misogyny. It wasn’t anything traumatizing, but it was enough to leave a lasting impact on her self esteem, and relationship with gender roles in society.
Most of the misogyny she faced growing up came in the form of teasing and sometimes even bullying, primarily from boys in her class. While most of them didn’t have malicious intentions or even realize the impact of their actions, it made her very self conscious of her own identity as a girl.
Bee is, by nature, a very ‘feminine’ girl. She likes wearing dresses. She likes playing with dolls. She likes traditional ‘girl’ things like baking and knitting. Her personality too leans toward what one would associate with the “traditional ideal woman”: gentle, mild-mannered, kind, agreeable, and nurturing.
And this plays a large part into her own self-loathing.
She’s aware that her personality and interests align with what the current society claims to be the “ideal woman”; and she heavily resents that. She hates the idea of anyone (not just women) being forced or pressured into any sort of societal image, and feels as if she is playing into the one for women just by being who she is.
Because of this, she feels a sort of shame toward expressing her femininity and emotional vulnerability. While she does still express and enjoy it, she also keeps it hidden to a certain extent.
Because she was teased for her ‘girliness’ in the past, she now hesitates to express this side of herself to those she doesn’t deeply trust. She’ll try and contain her excitement when she sees cute clothes she wants to get. She’s stubbornly independent and tries to convince herself and others she never needs help. She puts up certain barriers that make emotional vulnerability, which would otherwise come naturally to her, difficult.
In essence, she’s afraid. But she’s also ashamed. By holding herself up to her standard to go against what society expects her to be, she’s still, in essence, going against herself. In her effort to fight for women’s freedom to express their true selves, she herself suppresses her own nature.
She wants to cry openly when she’s sad. She wants to ask for help and admit she can’t do everything on her own. She wants to be able to trust guys without feeling afraid with every interaction. She wants to be free to fully express herself.
But she can’t.
‘Because it would be selfish to do so.’
I’ll say my other thoughts in bullet points bc I can’t figure out how to segue these cleanly lol:
She does not carry these same sentiments toward other girls. In her mind, it’s perfectly fine for them to express themselves in whatever ways they want. It’s only herself that she won’t allow this same freedom of expression.
Yes, as I mentioned before, Bee does have a small underlying fear toward guys in general. She’s a teenage girl, she’s attending a school full of teenage boys. She may be innocent but she’s not naive. She’s aware of what could happen if she’s not careful, and keeps emotional barriers up around them for this reason.
She has these barriers with girls too, though they’re not as bad as she’s more used to interacting with other girls.
Secretly though, she is drawn to the assertive types (of any gender). She admires their confidence and finds herself both drawn in and wary.
She too may try and pass herself off as being more self assured than she really feels in an attempt to impress someone. (It usually doesn’t work because she wears her heart on her sleeve🤭)
For interactions with guys specifically, she puts on something of a “tougher act”. Warm and caring like she usually is, but also somewhat emotionally aloof/closed off. Also very stubborn about being solely self-reliant. VERY stubborn. This is a result of her not wanting them to look down on her for being a girl (like she was in the past).
When they try to tease or mess with this persona, she can at times become defensive and avoidant (tsundere!!), especially if they’re trying to flirt. In reality, she secretly hopes they do see through this facade and are willing to accept who she really is under the exaggerated bravado.
(Small note: her tsundere side surrenders quicker if treated with genuine understanding rather than teasing)
She herself is aware of her own shame complex and is trying to more comfortably express her femininity now that she’s getting older (she was rather a tomboy as a kid actually; romping in the woods, looking for frogs, making mud potions)
In modern AU, when societal pressures have eased slightly, she’s much more comfortable expressing her femininity and being her authentic self.
….I guess I’ll end my yapsesh there so I don’t go rambling on and on into a mini novella😂 I’ll prob make more posts exploring this and similar topics, because I personally find the subject a fascinating thinking + discussion point👀
Would love to hear what your thoughts are in comments/dms (and hopefully discuss more!!!💖)