I had not done one thing all day. From my solitary post at the cheap computer desk, I briefly leaned back and observed Rodger at his solitary post on the windowsill. I shamed my own posture as I saw how my cat sat up so primly- paws neatly together in front of him and his back straight. His sleek black tail curled down off the ledge and lazily stroked the wall as he stared out into the great outdoors- no doubt watching every little move of the birds in the side-yard. I smirked and got up for a minute to scratch my crazy feline between his ears. I involuntarily tossed my head to get my short hair out of my face. It made me feel like some preppy boy and I grimaced.
As I stood and enjoyed the silky touch of fur on my fingertips I noticed movement outside where it was usually still- two cars pulled up in front of the empty house to the right of mine, halting abruptly next to the For Sale sign that had been there for months. The house was tiny and generic like mine, but painted a sky blue instead of orange stucco. The lawn, untended for so long, was beginning to look a little on the dead side- a slight olive green. I had never quite paid much attention to the scene of next door, and the colors made me want to paint a picture.
I left it for later though, because right then people were stepping out onto the curb. From one car emerged a polished real-estate agent and from the other, two women. I stroked Rodger’s back as the younger, maybe 17 or 18, stared at the house with an open face. She was short and curved and she had on a light pink sundress. They were Latina and the girl had a lot of pretty hair. The older had to be a mother or aunt because they looked vaguely alike. As the three of them hurried up the walk and into the house, I absently wondered if they’d move in, and then I gathered my cat into my arms and went back to my day.
It was summer, so the next few weeks went by with general leisure and idleness. I sat a lot at my computer, went floating the river with my brother Greg, and spent a fair amount of time with Rodger and his brother Street. Most of my very few friends were off in other states for the summer, which I couldn’t quite understand. Why would you leave one warm, sunny place for another equally warm, sunny place? Either way, it left me with a lot of time to myself. I wasn’t complaining.
One day I was walking home from the park, where I had been drawing scenery. As I rounded the corner, I spotted a hulking moving van in the street by my house. I got closer and I could see tons of movers and dollies scurrying back and forth as the woman from before stood in the middle, directing. She was short and rather large, and she had a loud, commanding voice. She wore huge sunglasses. So they were staying after all, I thought to myself. I watched from the corner of my eye as I wandered up my driveway and picked up Rodger. I watched next door for a little while, my face full of cat.
The younger girl was sitting on the middle of the dead lawn, out of the way of the workers. She had on shorts and there was a handsome guitar lying across her criss-crossed legs. She wasn’t really playing- only strumming at random intervals as she watched her things being moved into the house. The soft afternoon sun highlighted her hair and lit up the guitar so it seemed to glow from the inside out.
Eventually, the older woman reached into the car and carefully hauled a small pet carrier over to where the girl was. Rodger thrust his front paws against my breast and twisted his head around to stare at it as I struggled to sit down on the drive and kept him firmly in my lap.
She smiled brightly as her mother opened the carrier and a brown tabby cat slipped into her lap. She held him to her chest and kissed his ear as her mother hurried back to the car. My own cat pulled against my grip and groaned. “Oh, good lord, cat,” I muttered, and released him.
He shot like a rubber band, a black shape bounding over the small distance between the two houses. He stopped a few feet short of the other cat, who had taken notice of him and had crawled halfway out of its mistress’ lap. They stared at each other as cats do, not doing anything but twitching their tails.
I noticed the girl was looking in my direction now, smiling gingerly and scratching the base of her cat’s tail. I got a little warm and jittery because I’d been watching her, which was weird. I felt shabby in my band shirt and unshaved legs, but I tried to smile back, giving a small, sharp wave of my two fingers. She waved too. The cats were nosing each other.
I figured I’d been there long enough so I stood up and clapped my hands. “Cmere, Kitty!” He turned his head to look and begrudgingly slunk back over to me to wrap himself silkily around my ankles. The girl was still looking at me, so I smiled again, and then ambled the rest of the way up to my house.
“New neighbors,” I told the house as I dropped the cat into a basket of clean laundry. I padded to the living room where my younger brother was playing Xbox. My mom was working online in the next room.
“How’d that go?” she called out.
I leaned on the doorway and smirked. “You know me, I’m just so people-loving, and they’re coming over for dinner tonight.”
She chuckled.
“It’s a mom and daughter, I think. Around my age.” my mom looked at me and wiggled her eyebrows suggestively.
I just snorted.
“They’ve got a kitty too, and Rodger made friends.”
“How come you didn’t make friends, then?” she asked, looking at the computer screen.
I pushed away from the doorframe. “I did, kind of... not really. I waved.”
Mom smiled as she worked. “Get to it. I think we should bring some casserole or some crap over. Isn’t that what normal people do?”
“Don’t ask me.”
Backing out of the office, I picked up the laundry basket and carried it to my room, Street following me closely. After I was done putting all the clothes away I settled onto my bed with my favorite graphic novel and opened the blinds so I could see better.
A few hours later I woke up, my book digging into my cheek and a warm fleshy something on my chest. It was Street, purrs radiating from his hairless body onto mine. It was pretty dark now, but I noticed a goldenrod light outside. Sending cats flying off the bed, I flung myself into a sitting position to turn on my lamp. I peered through the slats in the blinds.
It seemed the light was from the bedroom window next door, and lo and behold, as I creepily peeked through the blinds I could see the girl from earlier. She was faced away from me, neatly arranging books onto a massive bookcase. I smiled a little when I noticed her putting away a copy of the exact comic I was holding in my hand. I could tell she really liked to read because the case was more than half-filled and she was still going strong. I absently thought of how attractive people who read were, but then I felt creepy for watching a random person through my window so I went back to reading and thought about how she had read these exact same words, and wondered what parts she liked best. My cats slept in a yin-yang by my toes.
The next day mom dragged me next door to meet the new neighbors, because she insisted it was the nice thing to do, and I only went because I really wanted to be friends with the girl. At least, I felt I should know her name.
“And then you two can fall in love and get married and that would be the most classic thing ever,” my mom teased as we walked out the front door.
“I think it would be way more classic if I were a boy,” I muttered, feeling red. “And stop that. I’ve never even met her.”
“Oh, shut up,” she said.
When we knocked on the door, it was the girl who answered. Her eyes registered recognition when she saw me but she looked slightly confused. I’d brought Rodger since I knew the two cats would get along, and he was protesting loudly in my arms.
“Uh, hi,” she said. Her voice sounded like melted chocolate, and a lot lower than I would have thought. Her cat appeared behind the door and gazed up at us, meowing back at Rodger.
“Hi!” my mom said cheerfully, offering her hand. “I think you two may have met already, but we live next door and wanted to welcome you to the block. You can call me Liz and this is Abbey.”
I waved as they shook hands briefly.
“I’m Camila,” she said. “Well, Mila, actually. My mom should probably be home in just a second if you want to come in.” She sounded sincere, as if she wasn’t just offering out of politeness. It was a people-person trait that I lacked.
“If that’s okay,” Mom said. Mila smiled and stepped back to let us over the threshold. She stooped to pick up her cat before she closed the door.
“This is Cola,” she said to me as she led us through a mudroom and into a small bare den.
“Rodger,” I answered. “I brought him cause they seem to like each other.” She smiled at me as we sat down on a solitary leather couch. My mom took a seat in a LaZ Boy opposite and we put the cats on the couch between us. Rodger started to lick Cola’s ears as I sat awkwardly with my knuckles pressed to my thighs. Of course, my mom was the natural charmer and kept the conversation going without a hiccup.
“This is definitely a great place- the house is nice and everyone else that lives on the street is pretty friendly.”
“I know, we had the couple from across the street over here yesterday,” Mila said, seeming perfectly at ease with this social interaction. They easily conversed for awhile, and I found out that she came from Arizona and that they’d moved because of her mom’s teaching job. I could tell they were both enjoying talking and knowing my mom, it could go on for at least half an hour. This was not my cup of tea, though, so I busied myself petting Cola as the cats settled next to each other, paws tucked.
Eventually her mom (Rosa, as we found out from Mila) walked in loaded down with groceries, and greeted us with Mila’s same smile. She asked her to put the food away as she talked to my mom, and so we stood in the kitchen and I handed her things as she put them away neatly.
“You’re not exactly a social butterfly, huh?” she teased, but I could hear the kindness in her voice. Grinning, I dodged a cat tail in my face and tossed her a package of cheese.
“You got me,” I admitted. “Call it a character quirk.”
“Nice alliteration,” she smirked, moving aside some fruit in the fridge. Man, this girl was smart and now I felt I really needed to be friends with her. “It’s alright, though, cause not everyone is good at everything.”
When the job was done Mila led me with a quick step to down the hall to her room, which was still being unpacked. She flopped her butt onto a desk chair and I tentatively perched on her bed, and we sort of looked around the room for awhile. The giant bookcase, which was now completely jam-packed, caught my eye.
“Whoa, man,” I said. “You might even have more books than me!” I gazed at the different titles and thicknesses. There were novels, some encyclopedias, manga, comics...
“I guess we’re just elite,” she said.
We petted the smitten cats some more.
“So what grade will you be in next year?” she asked.
“Um, graduated last month. Still looking for a job, yknow?”
“Oh. Well, I’m graduating this year. Should be exciting!”
More smiles. She was so bright, which was such a polar opposite of me. (even though my pale skin was what was bright compared to hers.) We talked about future plans, where I carefully avoided revealing too much about my lack thereof. She wanted to go to Austin study nursing. Somehow it was fitting.
I took this time as we conversed to notice features. It’s a thing we artist people seem to do. We couldn’t be more different in appearances, I marveled. I was pale, gangly, with short blonde hair and green eyes. Mila’s skin was a natural light brown, and her sleek hair trailed down her back almost to her waist. The deep brown of her round eyes was freckled with some yellow. There was some black makeup on them, but not much. She had one of those pudgy little button noses- the kind that looked cute on people. But I tried not to look too much because I didn’t want to seem weird.
The four of us lounged in the sweet-smelling, white walled room for quite a bit.
When it was time for us to leave I scooped up Rodger, who wailed, and with a quick “See ya” that was overshadowed by Mom’s loud goodbye, we headed out.
Later that afternoon I painted a quick splash of colors- a square of sky blue amidst a gray and olive green abyss. It looked kind of nice, actually. As I put the canvas aside to dry, I noticed Rodger sitting on my windowsill, taut as always, a little black shadow. He was staring intently into Mila’s room. And sure enough, there was Cola, mirroring him and staring back just as intently. I snorted and stroked his back. “I think you’ve got a crush, Rodger Dodger.” All he did was put a paw against the window and then crane back to look at me as if to say I think you do, too.
Naw.
Three days later Mila showed up at my front door with a basket in her hands and her hair tied with a red bandana. She smiled comically with her teeth and the flap on the basket was popped open by a tabby head.
“Hi, Abbey! Are ya busy?” she asked. “Since I’ve actually got no other friends here yet I thought we could go on a picnic in Landa Park?” She shrugged. “If you’re not busy.”
I had been working on a painting. I was standing there in my pajamas and a beanie, and a picnic was quite possibly the corniest thing there ever was.
“No, I’m not. Give me a minute to put on some pants and stuff, I guess.”
It took us over an hour to walk all the way to the park, mostly because the cats were slow, but I figured I needed the exercise.
“Do you just bring your cat everywhere, then?” I asked, puffing from the brisk pace.
She laughed. “I guess so. I love her more than a lot of things. But apparently you do too.” She motioned to the two furballs and Street tagging along after us.
“Well, you got me there.”
The kitties rubbed shoulders as they walked and Mila beamed. “I think we could be really good friends.” I tentatively took the basket from her arm cause I knew it was heavy.
“Then we shall be,” I announced, and marched on.
When we finally, finally were at the park, I felt uncomfortably hot and sticky, and prayed to high heaven I didn’t smell bad. There were a lot of people so I put all three of the cats in harnesses and leashes, which was more than mildly funny. Rodger mewled and looked embarrassed for his little girlfriend to see him in such a getup. Street just crouched and glared around, looking like an old man. Camila laughed so hard she doubled over, which would have been dorky and unattractive on someone else.
“You have the best cats ever,” she giggled.
It was beautifully sunny out, and we picked a spot way in the corner of the vast park. It was right next to where the spring was and the stream was as clear as if someone had emptied a bunch of water bottles in it. You could see through to the bottom where lime-green algae was dappled with the sunlight that broke through the trees. We looped the leashes together and tied them to my belt loop, and sat with our feet in the water. It felt beyond refreshing, sitting there eating banana sandwiches while the cats resorted to curling up and sleeping.
I found Mila extremely easy to talk to, and that says a lot because I don’t talk easily. But she had enough to say for both of us- everything under the sun like how she adopted Cola, stories about some of her friends back home, and how she’d driven all the way from Phoenix to New Mexico in one night when they were moving here. She asked about my family and my friends and if I’d ever been to Arizona.
“It’s seriously the best,” she insisted. “It’s a lot like here, but there’s just a lot more culture. I’ts colorful, and I guess maybe I just love it because that’s where my family is.”
“Big family?” I guessed.
“Well, yeah. Mexican heritage and things. Lots of cousins and my grandparents and aunts and uncles. No dad, though... he took off. But he wasn’t even hispanic so he didn’t have a big family.”
“I see,” I said, not really knowing what to say. I splashed cool water at nothing. “My dad ain’t around either, if that makes you feel better.”
“It does, a little bit.” Smile.
We shared a love of cats, swimming, books, and music, and at the moment I just felt so fuzzy and idyllic. So it seemed fitting when we both reached over to ruffle Cola’s fur my hand landed on top of hers for a brief second before we both cleared our throats, snatched them away, and looked in separate directions.
“I’m.. uh...” I stammered.
“Sorry,” she finished. We kind of stared at each other, green eyes to brown, red face to slightly darker red face, and chuckled.
“Um...” I tried again to pet the cat and looked away. “It’s kind of getting dark soon, maybe we should go.”
“Yeah, probably.”
The walk back home was considerably quieter and slower because we were both tired. The kitties all trudged along behind, still disgruntled by their leashes. When we finally got home, it was dusk. Both of our porchlights were blazing over the driveways. I tried to ignore the fact that my mom had appeared at the front window and was expectantly watching us. I sighed almost silently.
“Something wrong?” Mila asked as she unclipped Cola from her harness and stuffed it in the basket. She turned to face me, holding it in front of her like Red Riding Hood. Only much more lovely.
“No, I guess not,” I muttered. I looked at her and felt like I should say something conclusive, or at least something that wasn’t just “see ya.” I was slightly disturbed by how much this felt like the end of a date.
“I’m not trying to...” I stammered out. “I mean, I know you’re not-” I flushed.
She beamed softly, and I again appreciated her smile. “You’re right, I’m not...” she said. “It’s okay, though.”
She reached out and patted my hand. “I had a really good day today.”
“Me, too.”
“Bye,” she chimed, walking up the driveway with the cat in her wake. Rodger meowed and tried to follow, but I picked him up and tugged on Sreet’s leash and went back in the house, feeling somewhat at a loss.
All that my dumb cat ever wanted to do over the next week was sit on windowsills that faced next door, hoping to catch a glimpse of his kitty lover. I kept myself busy going on walks alone and making a lot of new art. I added some details to the painting of Mila’s house- shadows of windows and some light effects. She came over a few times because she obviously got just as bored as I did, but I tried to act somewhat nonchalant because of the slight awkwardness that still existed between us. There was no way in hell I would become the creepy friend with a crush. We both sort of used the excuse that we wanted the cats to be together again.
When I woke up one morning in early May, Rodger was at his usual place on the sill, gazing next door again. I sat up and rubbed my eyes to see Cola doing the same, pink nose printing the window. Suddenly I noticed Mila, sleepy eyed and staring vacantly at my cat as she caressed hers. Her hair was a mess and she was wearing a blanket wrapped around her. I realized this with a rush of heat to my face. How long had she been there? Could she see me when I was sleeping? I felt like my mouth may have been wide open. Oh god.
That’s when she noticed me and snapped out of her daze, waving shyly. I waved too, and I had an idea. Popping off the screen from my window, I cranked it open and motioned for her to do the same. As she opened hers I let Rodger drop out onto the lawn of the alley and seconds later Cola landed lightly on her feet, and the two cats circled around each other purring. Mila giggled and all of a sudden she too was clambering out the small windowframe, keeping her blanket tight around her and landing gracefully on the soft grass.
I followed suit, struggling to fit out the window and smirking because this was totally silly. The grass felt cold and dewey and I hopped from foot to foot. She stood still, straight, and huddled in her fluffy blanket, smiling contently like the child she was at heart. The atmosphere outside seemed fuzzy- the kind of light of an early, foggy morning. It was soft yet bright at the same time. The air smelled fresh and heavenly.
“You look cold,” she observed.
“It’s not too warm today, surprisingly,” I countered. “It’s early too. You’ve got that giant fluffball there to stay warm.”
She held it open like butterfly wings, showing a big T-shirt and shorts. “Want some?”
I nodded and shuffled over. Laughing, she tried her best to envelope me into some of the warmth. But boy, was it warm.
“You’re too tall,” she teased. It was true- she had to be a 4 inches shorter than I was. I stepped back a little.
“Well, I’m warmer now. Why are we out here?”
She just shrugged. “I guess ‘cause the cats were out here and I wanted to see what was so special.” She tugged the blanket more tightly around herself again and then just looked up at me, dark eyebrows a little furrowed. Her eyes were like melted chocolate.
And then, I don’t even fully know what was happening, but I felt like something needed to. And the next thing I knew my fingers were brushing the soft plush and I couldn’t see where I was anymore and her lips were warm and soft on my mouth. All I could smell was the freshly cut lawn and whatever scent lingered on her- shampoo and fabric softener and the smell of another human. So alive and breathing.
Oh.
Oh, no.
I pulled myself back, staggering over the ground, making the cats head for the hills. Mila stayed where she was, standing stiff and wide-eyed. I didn’t know what to do at that point. Because she wasn’t. She wasn’t like me, and it wasn’t like this. I’d just met her two weeks ago. This was not good.
I hauled my Rodger up, eliciting a “Mrroww”, and sidestepped down the alley.
“I’m... I’m sorry,” I panted. She watched me go, her expression not angry but far from pleased. I saw her open her mouth like she wanted to say something, but I was already backing around the corner to my house clumsily, and rushing up the porch steps. I stood inside the entryway with the door at my back and the cat at my chest, breathing heavily. Her expression kept popping up in my mind, wild-eyed and surprised. What in the hell had I just done? Stupid.
I winced, then stalked off to hole myself up on the computer. In my room, the window was still wide open, but Mila’s was shut and she was nowhere to be seen.
The very next morning at probably ten o’clock my mom came busting into my room loudly. I jerked up, muttering something incoherent that probably had to do with broccoli or something, as she switched on the light. My brother was right behind her, looking as disgruntled as I felt.
“Guess what? We’re going to Galveston for the week!” she announced. She stood in the middle of my carpet with her fists on her hips. “I woke up and I realized that it has been far too long since we were at the beach, and so that’s what we’re gonna do.”
I rubbed my head and just stared at her through one eye. “Why?”
“Why not?” she said. “I was talking to Rosa and she said she’d be happy to take the cats while we’re gone. Would you mind bringing them over at two? I’m going to go buy stuff for the road. Kthanksbye!” She flounced out of my room and Greg sighed as he reluctantly followed her.
Groaning, my head hit the pillow again. I guess a trip probably what I needed- my only current friendship had been smashed to bits by my stupidity anyway. Half of me did want to get away and distract myself- I mean, I love the ocean as much as the next girl- but the other half wanted to sleep until school started again, or beyond. It took a lot mentally to even propel myself out of my bed and drag a suitcase from my closet. I didn’t care much what I even packed, just tossed in a bunch of clothes that were in my room. On my bed, Rodger had his paws on the windowsill, peering over the side to next door.
“Don’t worry, kid,” I told him as I rubbed his head. “You get to see her soon.”
“You should be grateful you’re a cat, you know,” I said, packing some more stuff. “I mean, I’m not the most complicated of humans, but really you have it so easy.” I sighed.
Two o’clock came too fast as I consumed the day with mindless internet, and as I looked at the clock my chest felt heavy because I really, really wasn’t up for talking to Mila- I didn’t want to see how she’d act. Didn’t want to try and make a conversation.
When I eventually got myself next door on the stone porch, one cat under each arm, I thought of Mila’s expression after I’d kissed her. Wide-eyed,shocked, stirred in with something unrecognizable that I didn’t want to try and decipher. I hitched and froze, my hand grazing the doorbell. What was I supposed to say or do? Even worse, how would she go about it? Would she act the same, or like strangers? Would she say a word to me? I couldn’t face her, not after what I’d done.
I silently opened the front door, nudging my felines inside, and then scurried back home.
By three o’clock my mom, my brother and I were well on our way down the highway. She was singing with gusto to the radio, while my brother and I sulked in the back. We were at either window- he was playing a handheld game and I just watched the flying freeway with my headphones in. I tried to focus on the long, long drive I had yet to endure, and told myself that this was good. I needed to get away and I needed to distract myself from the messed up situation I had created for myself at home. I could sit here in the car and read and sleep for the next few hours, and then I could spend the forthcoming days sitting next to the lulling sea, sketching and dreaming. It would be perfect.
I wished Mila could have been there, I thought weakly.
Four days later and all my worries had melted away and been swept off by the tides. The days, with being spent in lazy nothingness, had seemed like years. The sea had always brought that effect on me, and I supposed it had been just the perfect remedy, as much as I didn’t want my mother to have this little victory by forcing me to go. Really, I had an amazing time, sitting mostly by myself on the sand and next to the window of the small house we rented. I read a book and a half, and I sketched out things I found on the beach. I didn’t think of anything back home, I didn’t focus on anything but the present, and it kept me occupied. I deliberately forgot anything that had been happening at home- I made sure of that. At night the three of us played cards and then we went about our business- either to the beach, the town, or staying in the house. Those four days were a well-needed break.
But when I hopped out of the car onto the hot driveway pavement, I breathed in the concrete suburban air and my refreshment started to fall off me faster than the sand we brought back on our clothes.
As I stood by the car and tried not to glance next door, my mom lumbered into the house with some of our bags.
“Go get the kitties, will ya?” she called.
“Why can’t you?” I groaned, but she was already inside. I kicked the cement angrily and crept around to the side yard to hide. The cats could wait- I knew that Rodger, especially, was perfectly fine. Rolling my eyes, I sprawled out on the soft lawn beneath my bedroom window. With the house exteriors in the corner of each eye, I stared at the unmoving stains of clouds that were sprinkled across the sky. I stayed there for a long time, relishing the shade and the tickle of grass on my neck.
How I wished I could be back at the coast- back in that dream state where nothing could happen and nothing could touch me. My already uninteresting life could just melt away with the heat and I could just be. There was no pressure- no looking for jobs, no chores, no ridiculous, petty issues with girls next door... I groaned out loud. Yes, reality sucked, I thought glumly.
If I lied there long enough could I have the grass grow around me and be stuck there watching the magnificent sky forever? Or, even better, could I will myself to fly away up in there, back to the sea where I could just waste away in a breezy beach house for the rest of my life? I’d have my art, my computer, my cats...
Cats. Right.
I snapped back into the alley where I was lying and propped myself up on my elbows. My logic began to seep back into my brain and I realized my fairy tale dreams weren’t helping to address this dumb situation anyway. I gathered up my dignity, brushed the grass off my shorts, and trudged around the corner to Mila’s front porch. I really tried to ignore my pounding heart, tried not to remember her confused expression. I tried to not even think about what had happened at all. Just get the cats, I told myself. Cats.
I rang the doorbell, rocking back and forth on my heels. There were footsteps and my heart crescendoed, face hot. The doorknob jiggled, then swung open, and there was- Rosa.
I quickly let out the breath I hadn’t known I was holding. It was only Rosa. Never mind.
“Hi,” I said, relief making me smile. “I guess I need my cats back.”
She smiled widely “I guess you do,” she agreed. Suddenly Rodger popped his head around the doorframe and meowed at me.
“Hey, buddy!” I exclaimed, reaching down to hoist him into my arms. “Were you a good boy while I was gone?”
“He was. That cat is absolutely smitten with Cola, also.” She winked.
“Well, do we know where Street is?” I asked, trying to peer around Rosa’s rather large body.
“Oh, he’s probably under a bed again,” she groaned. “He sure is anti-social.” I chuckled as I thought for the thousandth time of how alike my cat and I were.
Rosa leaned back through the door. “Camila! Where is the other cat?” she bellowed heartily. Oh lord. My breath hitched again.
“He’s right here, Mama,” Mila’s voice came distantly from her room.
Rosa nodded and opened the door fully before shuffling off. “You two can catch up,” she called cheerfully, apparently oblivious to anything that had happened. I didn’t quite know what to make of that, so I just smiled as she walked off, maybe a little too widely.
I stood there in the doorway clutching my cat for a few moments, wondering whether it was worth it to just turn heel and run. My fear of confrontation was getting the better of me. But I stayed frozen to the ground. My chest felt extremely tight and painful, and even more so as I heard light footsteps coming down the hallway.
“Mom?” Mila called as she wandered into my view, holding Street and facing away into the house. Oh, god.
She turned around and then noticed the open door, and then she saw me. Her eyes popped in surprise. I stood there rather awkwardly.
“Oh!” she said. I couldn’t place her tone of voice. “Here’s your cat, Abbey.” She padded over and placed Street on the doorstep, which he promptly hopped off of and stalked around the corner to home.
I snickered in spite of myself. “Dumb kitty,” I muttered. Mila stood there in her pajamas looking sheepish, but not anything more.
“Did you have a good time?” she asked, trying to make conversation. She seemed as uncomfortable as I did, which really didn’t make me feel much better.
“Um, yeah, it was great,” I mumbled, not meeting her eyes. A bee hummed lazily around my head.
“It was nice having the cats here,” she said. “They’re crazy.” I nodded.
There were a few more painful moments of silence.
“Well, I gotta get going,” I said. I backed away slowly, jerkily. “See ya around, I guess.”
Mila nodded, shrugged. “See ya.”
When I was back in my room, I went to sleep, covered in cat, because I really didn’t want to deal with the world right then.
The next few days were spent job-hunting. This came about suddenly when my mother came flying into my room shouting (as if it had just occurred to her) that I was already 19 and “oh god when did you grow up so fast” before hugging the hell out of me and then telling me I needed to find a job. I’d known I’d have to do it eventually, but it seems I’d been in a bit of a slump recently.
However, I dutifully scoured the papers and went driving into town looking for “help wanted” signs. I felt like jumping off a high rise every time I had to actually go in and talk to people, but miraculously I got through every conversation without too much embarrassment. By Tuesday I had applied to two grocery stores, three restaurants, and even a receptionist position for a hair salon. Before I knew it I was walking out of an interview at Outback with a hostess job, grinning like an idiot. I had a lame black uniform with a name tag, and I started on the following Monday.
To congratulate myself, I bought new paint and canvases, and Friday was spent in a flurry of heated creativity, fueled by my success. As I painted in my room, I felt like life suddenly had boundless opportunities. I had a job, which meant eventually I could get my own car, and from there I could go wherever I wanted- buy my own place or even just drive and drive for the sake of getting away by myself. In this optimism I almost got the nerve to bound next door and boldly find a way to regain my friendship with Mila. Almost.
We still hadn’t spoken since I first got back, and although if we ran into each other we said hi, whatever companionship that had begun to blossom between us had died. I hated it, but I really did try not to think too hard into it. Some of my other friends had come home from wherever they are, and I’d talked to them on the phone making plans. I figured Mila was meeting new people too, which made my heart sink a little. But it wasn’t her fault. We’d had a great start to a friendship, and I’d screwed it up because I’d wished it could be more.
I shook these thoughts off my head as I mixed paints. Today was for art.
All told, I made three new paintings. As I stood looking them over in my room, I noticed Mila in hers, strumming intently on her guitar. She was also singing, I noticed, and I wondered with a pang what her singing voice sounded like. I really wished I could hear it.
Rodger hopped up onto the windowsill to stare at his kitty lover again.
The next few weeks were a rush of activity- I started my job, and I was shocked at how easily I got the hang of it, and how friendly I could actually be. After a mere 5 days on the job I could already feel myself getting more confident as a person. I thought of Mila’s quiet self-assured attitude and tried to model myself after her a little bit.
I spent some time with my old friends- we spent entire days (when I wasn’t working) floating the river or driving aimlessly around town. Summer was almost over, after all, and we all wanted to get the most out of it before they all went off to college. I had actually really missed them, and though I loved being alone, it was so nice to have people around me again.
One day in early June, I had decided to commute to work instead of drive. I finished up with the lunch shift and then headed back home. The bus ride was crowded and I had to stand, and then I had to walk quite a bit to get to my house from the stop. I silently cursed my past self for ever having this bright idea as I stomped through suburbia, my feet aching. It was a soft dusk now, and insects buzzed and chirped all around me in the blue light. The streetlights had yet to cast their yellow harshness over the landscape, and I admired the dark hues of the houses, which would have looked mundane and ugly in any other light.
I turned the corner to go up my street and got my key out of my backpack. As I got to my driveway, digging through my stuff, I noticed the soft sound of a guitar to my right. I looked up to see Mila silhouetted on her porch, strumming quietly. Her face could just be made out in the small porchlight, and she watched me as I gaped at her.
“Hey,” she said, pausing her playing.
I hoisted my bag back onto my shoulder and felt stupid in my work uniform. “Uh, hi.”
“I didn’t know you worked at Outback,” she commented with a half-smile.
“Yeah, just recently,” I said.
I scuffed my foot on the concrete, and walked slowly over by her porch so I could hear her better. My newfound confidence came over me a little bit.
“You’ve been playing that guitar a lot lately, I’ve noticed.” Oh, god, that sounded stalker-ish. “I-I mean, I’ve just... noticed it randomly.. from my room. Not like...” I backtracked.
She giggled. “No, I get it. We do have quite the visual access into each other’s houses.” She strummed a random chord. “I’ve been writing songs,” she said meekly.
I felt myself beaming. “That is so awesome,” I encouraged. “I could never write a song.”
She shrugged. “I bet you could, if you wanted.”
“I guess so. I’m better at art, though...”
“That’s true.”
We gazed around awkwardly for a minute.
“I miss being friends, Abbey,” Mila said suddenly. I turned to really look at her and she was fiddling with a string on the guitar, looking shy.
“I do too,” I said honestly. She shrugged, a little helplessly.
“I...” I said. “But I thought I sort of messed that up. And then you never came over after...” I felt awful putting any blame on her, and my face got red under the glaring light.
“I’m really sorry by the way. I don’t know what came over me.”
She nodded. “It’s okay, really. And as for me avoiding you, I was doing... some thinking, I guess.” she admitted, and met my gaze.
“Wanna hear a song I wrote?” she said. “It’s not finished, and really it’s not very good, but...”
“Yeah, of course!” I said immediately, setting my bag on the ground.
She straightened up and tried to contain a huge smile. “Come sit by me, though, so it doesn’t feel like I’m playing in front of an audience.”
I obliged, and she scooted over so I could sit next to her. Her face got a little pink and she messed with her hair a lot while she cleared her throat, but eventually she strummed some timid notes and began to sing a little shakily.
A cat on a windowsill
was batting at a fly
completely unobservant
of the world going by
she thought that her own little world
was all she’d ever have
but that was long before she met
another little cat.
She thought she only wanted to
be friends with little dogs
they were rough and tough and handsome
but could be little hogs
She suffered some and triumphed some
but soon she was alone
She didn’t want to be with dogs
she wanted to be alone
The day she met the other cat
she never thought she’d say
that one little cat could find her heart
and steal it all away.
It was choppy and simple and quaint, and it was one of the sweetest things I’d ever heard. Mila’s voice was even richer than when she spoke, and I wanted to wrap myself up in it and go to sleep. As she finished the last few verses, I noticed her peering at me with an expectant, but knowing smile. I suddenly understood the lyrics, and my heart began pounding. No, I must just be reading it wrong, I thought.
She did some fancy playing to end the song, and then heaved a big breath.
“What do you think?” she asked shyly, carefully setting the guitar aside.
“I loved it,” I said breathlessly. “You’ve really got talent, you know.”
“Thank you,” she mumbled. “I’ve written better ones.”
I thought the one she played was perfect.“Why didn’t you want to play them, then?” I wondered.
“‘Cause.” she said, smirking.
My chest started a drumbeat again and my tummy felt like it had static running through it. I could have sworn there had been more space between us just a second ago.
“So what happened to the cat?” I asked. “did she stop liking dogs?”
Mila shrugged. “No.” she said. “she will always like dogs, but there was something about that one cat that she just couldn’t resist, it seems.”
I looked at my knees, a smile still playing at my mouth. “So what happened after that?”
I felt Mila shift a little on the hard concrete porch. “I think she decided that she wanted to try and be with the other cat, just this once.”
“And then see what happens?” I guessed, and looked up.
She was nervously twirling her hair, which shone golden in the porchlight. “Yeah, I think so.” She bit her lower lip.
“I think the other cat agrees.”
Mila looked away with a grin and some of her dark hair fell out from behind her ear. Without thinking I reached up to tuck it away for her, then lingered a little, letting my hand trail down and get tangled in the dark lock. She brought her gaze back to mine, looking nervous but bold. God, her eyes were so pretty and I couldn’t look away.
She chuckled. “Come here, kitty.”
And this time it was Mila who brought her face forward to grace my lips with hers. I tensed in shock, but she just tenderly put her hand on the back of my neck and turned her head so she could kiss me even deeper. All that could be heard then was the faint buzzing of the light, the chorus of bugs on the lawn, and our rapid heartbeats interlacing like our fingers beside us.
Things were okay now, I thought with relief. And right then, I was one happy little cat.
EPILOGUE
A squeal of “Abbey, wake up!” thundered my dream of flying to an end. I jolted up, confused as to where I was, to feel something large drop onto my bed near my feet, sending three cats scurrying at my head.
“God, Mila, what time is it?” I mumbled, yawning.
She mussed up already-mussed hair and gave me a peck on the lips. “It’s too late for you to be sleeping,” she scolded. I cracked an eyelid and glared at her as she grinned playfully.
“I just got back from the vet with Cola,” she announced.
“Oh yeah? How’d that go?” I reached over and tried to put the screen back on the window from when she’d popped it to get in my room. “And you do know we have a front door, right?”
“Window’s faster,” she waved me off. “Guess what, though??” She was close to bursting with excitement and she was bouncing up and down on her knees.
“What?”
“Cola’s pregnant!” she cried.
“What??” I snapped my head around to my pillow to look at the tabby cat. She was curled up with her paws under her, and Rodger was proudly grooming her, licking her ears.
“Rodger! You’re gonna be a daddy!” I picked up his paws and made him dance while he yowled desperately.
Mila laughed hard. “Hey now, it could have been Street.”
I wrinkled my nose. “No way. Street’s too antisocial.” I went to scratch his bald head and he grimaced before slinking away to hide under something. “Case in point,” I said.
Mila was still hopping around on her butt. “Kittens, Abbey!” she exclaimed.
I laughed. “We should have known this would happen, really.”
“We’re gonna be grandmas!” she crowed before tackling me and knocking us both off my bed in a tangle of limbs and dark hair. My breath went out of me in an “oof” as we landed awkwardly.
“Whoops,” she said, disentangling herself and then laying her head on my tummy, which proceeded to fill with happy butterflies. Two months already I’d called her mine and yet I still got them every time. I didn’t think I’d ever get used to it. I scooted down so that I could hold her in the crook of my arm, and she happily obliged, relocating her head to just beneath my collarbone.
“You excited?” she buzzed.
“Oh, yeah,” I assured her. “Just, what in the hell are we going to do with a bunch of kittens?”
She snorted. “I dunno. But, they’re cute, right? And we have about two months to figure it out.”
Rodger hopped off the bed and started slinking around my bent legs. I sighed contently.
“We could always bring ‘em when we move into Austin,” I thought out loud. Mila had finally been accepted to UT to study nursing, and so far the plan was for her to have a dorm there while I got my own apartment nearby. “We could see if there’s anyone on campus who wants them?”
“I don’t think you can have pets in the dorms, dear,” she said tactfully, sitting up and trying to grab Rodger.
“Well then I can go door to door,” I decided. Mila rolled her eyes and held the cat to her chest. I thought for a second. “And I can keep one, since my mom won’t let me take Street with me-”
“Abbey, aren’t you excited??” she interrupted, dancing with my cat. I chuckled at her wonderful childishness.
“Maybe I’ll be more excited when I actually see them,” I explained, just to mess with her.
She scrunched her face up. “You’re a butt.”
“I know. I'm making up for not having one.” I hoisted myself off the floor and helped her up, cat and all. “Let’s walk to the park- it’s too nice of a day to be inside this cave.”
As we put on our shoes I stopped to look over my painting one more time. It was hanging in the foyer of the house (my mother insisted) and I was really proud of it. It was the painting I had started when I first met Mila, which had started as foggy shapes and colors. Since then I’d added more details to the blue house- windows and shading for the siding. The sky was a complementary powder blue with clouds that sprung up behind the distant suburban houses. I’d known that the colors would work really well together.
I’d finally finished it a few weeks ago, adding some black and blue silhouettes of two people and two cats. One was holding the blue shape of a guitar and the other was drawing. The cats were curled up together, a yin yang, with their tails swirling above them.
I felt an arm on my waist as I looked at it critically. “I really do love this one,” Mila said. “Even though I’m taller than that.” She nudged me and giggled.
“Close enough!” I teased, comparing the top of her head (which came to my upper lip) to mine.
Smiling, I headed out the door to taste the sweet summer and begin on the long trek to the park. The cats knew what to do, and came bounding after us.
The morning sun made every dewey lawn sparkle and brought the gold out of my hair and Mila’s eyes. As I locked fingers with her, I didn’t know what would happen from then on. I didn’t know how long anything would last, or if our aspirations would play out right. At that moment, I didn’t care, because there was breath in my lungs, sunshine on my hair, cats at my heels and Mila by my side. I knew that the adventures we embarked on afterwards would just be as awesome as we were.
