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Nastya Zakharova photographed by Zoey Grossman for For Love & Lemons (Holiday 2018)
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Ur NB and I have a NB question coming from a ciswoman that I want to ask a NB person-ignore this if it's problematic. I know a NB person who was AMAB, I respect their identity and use their pronouns etc I still feel like the way they treat me, a female friend, is as if they're a shitty straight white dude. They have a particularly entitled attitude, "man"splain me, etc. They have all the bs that I avoid in cismen yet they're not. Do I sound like a terf being bothered by them?
I don't think it's wrong to be bothered by them but u gotta realize that people of all gender identities can be ass holes regardless. There is definitely a privilege that comes with being male passing as I experience with being female passing, and it sounds like you think your friend might be having their cake and eating it too. My best advice would be if you have any mutual friends who are also trans* to have this conversation with them and see if they aren't able to pass the message along somehow. Otherwise it might seem kinda shady coming from a cis person.
I fucking hate it when youâre in such a fantastically giddy mood and then you see one simple little thing that makes you think, âohâ and then you just get this empty feeling in your chest and you get nauseous and the world just crumbles and you want to just lay under a blanket and close your eyes and fall asleep and never wake up.Â
From what my therapist told me, this happens because our emotions arenât really on the âoppositeâ ends like we tend to think of it. Happiness is not âupâ and sadness is not âdownâ-. In a way theyâre actually right ânextâ to each other.
If youâre super happy, it can turn into super sad very easily, because your emotions are already highly elevated and itâs only a very minor shift as far as your brain is concerned.
Knowing this can help you fight it, and it can help you be more aware of whatâs going on while youâre happy and help avoid shifting towards misery.
I used to always wonder why it seemed like my happy days âcouldnât lastâ or that bad things would âalwaysâ happen when I was happy. Itâs not that happiness is doomed to fail, itâs that emotions are volatile. I hope that helps people who experience this too- when you understand whatâs going on more itâs easier to manage.
By Priscillia Saada for This is Badland Magazine June 2018