tired
part two:
"actually, i know exactly how that feels. i'm just better at hiding it." he couldn't believe the words that were flowing out of his mouth but once he started he couldn't stop. "it feels so fucking frightening, more frightening than facing voldemort first hand with no wand. it haunts you every day because just by loving someone you're putting them at risk, so you hide it, to protect yourself and him. you hide it because once the truth comes out your own safe bubble is gone and you're both vulnerable, so sirius do not tell me i don't know how it feels." sirius sat there, mouth agape despite remus' attempts to close it. "you- you- you what?" was all he could get out while james realized he'd be alot louder than he'd meant to be and his cheeks were now a bright red color as his eyes met regulus'. his eyes were wide with confusion, then with a sigh he broke the eye contact. "can i?" james mouthed quickly despite his friends still being extremely confused. the pieces started to connect in remus' mind as he followed james' gaze to a now nodding regulus. "i- i'm kinda gay? i guess? and imayormynotbedatingreggie." the gay part was nothing special considering that was three out of the four people in their friend group, but the reggie part threw sirius for a loop. "who the fuck is that?" sirius knew who it was but he wasn't going to believe it unless it came out of james' mouth. "regulus." james replied as he rolled his eyes and rested his chin on his hand while taking in his friends reactions. remus didn't look shocked just sort of like he'd been suspecting this and peter's jaw was still dropped in absolute shock because 'amitheonlystraightguyhere?'. "you're dating my idiot death eater brother?" sirius asked for clarification as he turned away to look at regulus who was fumbling with his tie to avoid his brother's eye. "he isn't a death eater, pads." the older black brother just looked at a loss for words. "have you both gone bloody insane! my brother? out of all the slytherin gits you could choose from you choose the one that's supposed to be off limits?" james now scoffed at that and took a deep shaking breath in. "he's his own person, sirius. if i'd told you 'no more remus, he's off limits' how would you feel? you'd go bloody insane, you need him to live! thats how i feel about reggie, he's like the air i breathe, like something i need to hold onto to keep a grip on reality. now, are you my best friend or not?" after a moment of thinking sirius nodded and turned back to meet the eye of regulus who was looking at him gratefully because he knew how much sirius' opinion mattered to james. "but if i catch your two shagging in the dorm i'm getting you both expelled for emotional distress towards other students."

















