To Dust I Guess

My name is Kristen aka Crimes Trawczynski (she/her). Old (30+), Chronic Illness Rep Communications Director for Theater on the Internet. Occasional Illustrator/Writer Streams on Twitch at crimestimelive Sundays 7 PM CST and Thursdays 9:30 PM CST! Currently writing a TADC fanfic called Small Gods which is devouring me whe. KOFI is missgoggles if you're interested in supporting me!

[liro-art]

Here’s a request. I’d like to see Kinger patting Jax’s head while he’s giving the most “I don’t deserve this” face on the planet. Whatever that means to you. 😂

Finally finished this request!! Tried something new this time hehe 🥹

I JUST REALIZED I MISREAD THE REQUEST 😭😭 I’m so sorry, I made Kinger pet Jax instead of patting his head 😭😭😭

[crimes-wears-goggles]

I’ve never actually used submissions before so please excuse me as I play

I has thing for the waiting, inspired from recent spoilers

I have thoughts too! Incoherent things 👇

- watch as Gangle destroys her back to look Caine in the eye

- you can’t tell me the cast would make clothes that fit Caine perfectly first time! Only Pomni could they the same height I am short and petite too and nothing in the kids or adult aisles fit right!

- specifically painting Caine’s eyes was fun

- Charlie Brown lookin sweater

- could see bee wings going two ways for Caine, ‘omg I love it! I am the bee.’ Or ‘…I miss flying.’ 💘

- we need more Caine and Gangle, such underrated duo

- Caine wears shoes in the bed they his feet what do you want from him but he absolutely refuses to wear conjured shoes! ‘member that one line in the bath scene that Caine said he understood the concept of clothing but some of it triggered his sensors? Shoes. Man’s is picky about his clothes, but will not tolerate shoes on his shoes

- my high school animation teacher actually wore a hat like that. It’s kinda like a ball cap but wrapped all the way around in fabric. No idea what they’re called

Gangles comment on kerning made me think of this 🤣

Plus silly I did while trying to figure out how to draw Gangle

--- (Crimes Birb speaks now) Oh my god I haven't used submissions in so long I am so flattered it's being used

OH MY GOD I'M IN LOVE WITH THESE!!!! AAAAA I'M LOSING MY MIND! The outfits are SO CUTE! I adore Gangle's cat earrings and her sweater and THE BOOTS oh my goodness so cute! And Caine's SHIRT! The wings are so cute AND HIS TIE AND THE LIL CUFFS ON HIS PANTS I'm losing my mind IT'S ALL SO GOOD!

I love the sense of weight on all the clothes, you really get a sense of how it's hanging off their bodies (and we're emphasizing thay Caine's clothes are a little too big because folks struggle to conjure stuff at the right size for him which is SUCH a correct read. I shake your hand in also small and petite with nothing fitting right, F) Also Caine's hat so adorable omg I die. I do know the sort of hat, though I can't remember what it's called. I wanna say a newsboy's cap but I'm probably wrong.

God Gangle I feel you on ctrl z. This does give me the extremely funny idea that as she gets better at conjuring she starts being able to use the shortcut for whatever she's drawing though, the ultimate artist power move. Also a very good read on Caine's shoes! Overall I agree with you (but he IS required to wear crocs at some point because of other fanart, I have no choice on that one lol. Maybe Kinger can help him figure toes so he can finally take his shoes off) Seriously thank you so much I'm literally editing the chapter right now to give them these outfits because they're that good haha They're not the ONLY new outfit Caine wears though hohohoho...

[mutantrenegade]

You know Jones soda cap, as a tumblr user i can actually say i think I have.

[crimes-wears-goggles]

Small Gods Chapter 10 Sneak Peek

I am still sick and this chapter is 15 pages long already BUT it is at least keeping me sane while I continue to be sick Anyway here's 2 of said pages of Gangle and Caine doing maid cafe stuff.

---

“...How can I help?” Caine asks.

Gangle perks up, the nervous wrinkle to her smile easing into excitement. “Well! You have a lot more experience making locations than me. So I wanted to get your opinion on a few things I’m  not so sure about.” She wraps a ribbon arm around his shoulder and moves toward one of the corner booths. “What do you think about this spot?”

The booth in question was shaped like a cat’s paw, with the table being the main paw pad and the plush seats and pillows forming the rest. Draped around it are some soft curtains, with several neon cat faces and hearts plastered above it. It was very cute, if a little busy.

But he wasn’t supposed to give critique, so…

“Why, this is wonderful!” Caine chirped. “Excellent mixture of theme and comfort! I think your patrons will love it!”

Gangle nods in thanks. “And the signs? Are they too much?”

“W-well, uh…” Caine tugs at the collar of his polo shirt as he looks away. “I wouldn’t say-”

“Caine,” Gangle interrupts. “This cafe being good is really important to me. And the only way it can be good is if I get real feedback about it. So I want you to be honest, okay?”

Caine winces. “But… I don’t want to upset you.”

“You won’t,” Gangle says reassuringly. “Or… well, as long as you’re constructive, anyway. But I’m not too worried about that. Have you ever heard of a compliment sandwich?”

That gets a confused head tilt. “Uuuhhh, last time I had you guys eat a concept like that, it didn’t go over very well. Do you remember the Forgetti Spaghetti Showdown Part Two?

“...Nooooooooo?”

“Ah, right. A particularly bad example, uh. Just trust me on that one.”

Gangle frowns in confusion for a moment longer, then shakes her hand and claps her ribbon hands together. “I don’t mean like- okay, so the idea is if you like something, you say so. If you don’t like something, to make it a little easier to hear, you start by telling me something you like, then move into the constructive criticism. Then you cap it off with another compliment. That way we both remember that there’s good stuff here and it feels a little easier to deal with the not-so-good stuff.”

“Huh.” Caine looks back to the booth, rubbing his chin in thought. He’d always struggled with critique himself- it was meant to hurt, of course, being a sort of corrective input. It was necessary for improvement, but at the same time it hit that soft spot inside, the reminder that he wasn’t enough. He’d never considered that one could pair positive and negative together. It was at odds with everything he’d been taught- then again, he had been trying new things lately. Plus, a human was asking something of him, and how could he refuse?

“I uh… I really like the cat paw theming of the booth.” He says carefully, the words feeling strange in his jaw. “But I think there’s a few too many neon signs- I think it might be better with one central statement. The colors all go together nicely, it’s just a little too busy.” Once he finishes saying this, he cringes, waiting for the inevitable backlash.

Gangle cocks her mask to the side. Then she smiles and nods. “I had a feeling that was it! Give me just a second.” With that she pulls out her sketchpad and flips to a page. She scrubs an eraser across the sketch within- one that looks remarkably similar to the booth in question. The signs pop out of existence.

Caine looks over her shoulder, curious. “Are you using your drawings to conjure?”

“Y-yeah! This helps me get a feel for whatever I make.” Gangle blushes, hunching over the pad. “I… know it’s a lot slower than what the others can do- but I think the extra work is worth it! No one else has been able to create a building one hundred percent from scratch by themselves!”

As she finishes this, a new sign pops into place- the words “A Paw-fect Day”, garnished with whiskers, cat ears, and a tail. She hums thoughtfully and erases again. “God I miss kerning settings.” The letters reappear- there’s the barest shift in lettering, but it does look better. This task done, she looks back to Caine. “What do you think?”

Mismatched eyes flick to the sign. “Hmm… could we re-add some of the hearts?”

“I was thinking the same thing!” Gangle chirps, then quickly scribbles them back in.

Pop! Pop!

“...Three more.”

“Agreed, this is a five glitter hearts problem.”

Pop! Pop! Pop!

Both hum thoughtfully.

“Do you like it?” Gangle asks.

Caine feels a smile spread across his jaw. “I do! It’s just right!” He then flinches, looking back to her. “E-er, I mean, it’s your cafe, so-”

“It’s Paw-fect!” Gangle interrupts, patting him on the back. “Now c’mon, I have a few more things I want your help with!”

[crimes-wears-goggles]

Has Kinger figured out yet that the glitches are related to trauma? I feel as if he might have some clue between arguements and late night dinner

Kinger is very aware- he knows they're happening specifically because Caine is feeling emotions he wasn't originally built to feel.

He's also aware Caine has trauma- even if he doesn't have the full details for everything, he has enough information to know Caine's been traumatized and he can literally see the damage- both in the code and physically. And trauma, y'know, causes said big emotions Caine wasn't supposed to feel.

So basically- yes, he knows and he has always known. He is doing his best with the info he has as uh. A programmer who probably read some psychology books because he was supposed to be trying to program a brain into existence and he was working in a company that was focused on the human brain in relation to data.

Helpful information but uh! He's not a therapist, so he's doing his best.

[crimes-wears-goggles]

Has Kinger ever actually seen Caine’s monster form in Small Gods? Like, obviously he’s aware of it, but I don’t think he’s actually seen it, never experienced it for himself if you will.

…will he? /said with genuine dread and interest. Please excuse me as I dread how absolutely dangerous it would be for Kinger to meet Caine’s hatefully violent self defense program… the angst potential…

He... has not, actually, because the failsafe he gave Caine had to undo it enough to get Caine through the tent door lol As for if he will? Gosh who could say? Certainly not me! (I do have plans for monster Caine but I cannot confirm or deny if they involve Kinger lol)

[crimes-wears-goggles]

Final boss of reconciliation for Caine: Bubble_Chef

[onecrunchypeanut]

cool big sister taught him a new word

[smallpwbbles]

Chapter 6 fanart for @one-in-a-maxi-millions fic Paper on it

That conversation between them was everything I NEEDED.

[screwconsciousnessblog]

[vashito]

I don’t have chronic pain but this artwork is so nice to look at *^*

[ripcatenderbat]

Just because we’re not writhing on the floor doesn’t mean we’re not hurting. We’ve just gotten really good at hiding it and functioning with it, otherwise we’d literally starve in our beds.

[luckyxiii-bjd-deactivated202101]

This is me with my back and hips T_T

[brunhiddensmusings]

the way i had it explained that a lot of people finally got it imagine your body is a car, and the car alarm is busted so it goes off all day every day. theres nothing you can really do about it, thats just your life now, you dont enjoy it but you live with it

[crimes-wears-goggles]

Happy 10 Year Anniversary to No Rain!

It has been, somehow, literally a full decade since I started No Rain?? Which is.

Fucking insane?? Small Gods is pretty quickly eclipsing it, but I still get kudos on my little Sans Undertale Depression Novel at least once a week.

I don't have a ton to say that I didn't already say in the 9 Years retrospective author's note I made last year, but I do want to verbalize that the fic truly meant a lot to me and to this day I'm honored it means so much to so many other people.

We're also creeping up on the ten-year anniversary of me discovering Man on the Internet, a moment which legitimately changed the course of my life.

Fuckin wild.

Anyway uh it turns out when you're 26 and you're deep in a mental health spiral and you feel like the world is ending- it isn't, actually! It turns out a wholeass decade can pass, you can learn a lot about yourself and WHY you feel so terrible (and, y'know, go to therapy or whatever), and you can meet some amazing people and have a pretty incredible life?? Sitting here at 36. In some ways I'm doing a lot worse (chronic illness sucks, State of the World is a lot) but tbh? 36 and therapized with chronic illness is a lot better than 26, working two jobs I hate and being miserable.

I dunno, apologies if this is annoying to anyone who follows me for... *checks notes* God who even knows??? TADC content? DMP?? CONTENT from me??? But thank you for being here.

[crimes-wears-goggles]

Asking myself the most important question- How much infodumping can I make Gangle do about maid cafes before it is DECIDEDLY annoying for anyone who isn't a huge weeb like me? The answer is shhhh it doesn't matter fanfiction is about self indulgence live your truth

Get ready for anime bullshit baaaabyeeeeeee

[limonds]

Ok @crimes-wears-goggles hear me out, I know Jax wasn't arrested. BUT. The meme.

[crimes-wears-goggles]

omg incredible Absolutely LOVE Caine's teary lil eyes. Both expressions are perfect but THE LIL WOBBLY EYES they're so good

Jax is in peak asshole mode lmao

Thank you so much for making this, I am filled with intense delight and am cackling like a maniac

[crimes-wears-goggles]

Hi, im not good in english bueno im try it, i LOVE your fic and i hace a question: when does episode 10 come out? Sorry for my english, im a mexican teenager

Hi there! Thank you for your kind words even though english isn't your first language, that's super flattering. Small Gods has a rough biweekly update schedule- so every two weeks, essentailly. The plan was for it to update this upcoming weekend- so somewhere between August 7th-9th.

That said, as I've been sick, it may get pushed back to mid next week or the following weekend. Such is life with a chronic illness, alas.

[crimes-wears-goggles]

Henlo, hope you’re feeling better 🍜 your fic scratches me brain in just the right way and I has ponderings for you.

1. Will we get a Gangle and Caine chap? We got hints that the next chapter her cafe finally opens. Also, she was supposed to go monster truck adventuring with Caine, but that fell through (rip, bet Caine would’ve loved that 😔) I need Steven Universe convo over coffee. Please they both doodle, let them doodle together! 😭

2. As a creative AI individual who’s been active for a little over a week without making anything (dose the wool monster count? Not to me) how is Caine not going crazy?? He’s been preoccupied, yes, but, I know I get antsy when I haven’t done anything artsy in a minute. He must absolutely be frothing at the mouth to make something in his subconscious at least

3. Will Caine get some kind of high energy "adventure" at some point? It’s been hinted at that he likes a good bit of adrenaline (he wasn’t actually scared by the wool monster, sneaking the pants from the Blizteses was genuinely enjoyable to him) in a safe manor of course, he was an absolute stress mess about a horse and stealing. Perhaps Kinger takes him to a gun range on his day off (I’ve seen a bit of talk on his crazy firearms safety and skill) or someone takes him skateboarding or parkour racing.

4. Last one I promise. Scenario where it’s Zooble’s turn to babysit Caine but she’s busy working one of the shifts around the city, so Caine is stuck sitting at a bar all day with next to nothing to do and Zooble doesn’t want to hear it. Baby learns how to be bored 💞

5. Ok this is actually the last I promise promise. Will Caine get one-on-one time with everyone eventually? Both emotional talk and play? Pomni and Rags have gotten both, Kinger’s gotten more than his fair share of emotion with more to come surely. Logistically, I could see Gangle being next with her comments about Caine’s Tea Party Crash Out TM, her new found ability to relate to him, and the next chapter hints 🤔 Zooble and Jax is gonna be interesting, especially Jax 😬

Okee thas all, thankee 👋

These are all very good questions and I'm honored you've given my lil AU so many thoughts! 1. I can confirm that next chapter (I keep wanting to say "episode" idk what that says about me) is the Gangle and Caine chapter! Not to spoil anything, but they're legit gonna have a good time together I promise. I'm pretty hype about it.

2. Caine's been pretty busy taking in new information and learning how to like, be a person. Not that the creative itch isn't there, it SUPER is, but he's busy like. Learning to people. I will say moving forward he'll be doing things like lego sets with Kinger and... other things that may work well for a creative outlet! 3. He does have some more exciting adventures coming up, though I can't say how many will be full scenes in the fic. The gun range idea is a good one, I may put that in! (spoilers I suspect my Caine, like me, is legit a little too weak to pull a gun trigger lmao)

4. Baby does need to learn how to be bored! I do have thoughts on that, we'll see when/if I'm able to implement them.

5. I do have plans for Caine to get one on one time with every character, including Zooble and Jax! I can't say how, but they are coming!

Thank you so much for typing all this, it's a lot of very cool ideas and again it's very flattering that someone cared enough to do so.

[crimes-wears-goggles]

Hello, I like your fic. I've reread some of the scenes two or three times already :]

In regards to Caine's Tea Party Crash Out TM, is the fact he was struck by lightning ever gonna come up?

Aw thank you very much! I will say I don't think I did a very good job of getting this across, but the lightning in the Caine's Tea Party Crash Out TM was meant to be Abel inflicting torment on Caine internally. So the lightning in this case was happening like... inside his body and was intense enough that it could be seen outside of it. So like internal lightning as opposed to sky lightning, lol. Caine and King are discussing torment in the most recent chapter. It was kind of my intent to address that.

[flandrepudding]

what id they played dress up part 2 ^_^

[iirok]

why is it only now dawning on me that the circus is Yurimaxxed as hell