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The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse

rats (bubonic plague)

bats (coronavirus)

Cats™ (film)

Pats??????? (i've got my fucking eyes on you)

#apocalypse #coronavirus #rats #bats #cats #pats #plague #bubonic plague #Cats films

remember kids: sheep are not easily intimidated

#sheep #greed is sin #eat the rich #whisper to the sheep #then run

Rise and Spine!

#rising #and spining #spine #spinal fluid

In the food chain of life I am a McDonald's Happy Meal

#mcdonalds #i'm advertising for u #pls give me money #i'm small and i have no money #so u can imagine how i feel

Anybody else traumatised by that Scooby Doo episode where they catch the robot villain but then in the greatest plot twist of all time the robot is actually a robot and there was no human after all. Like... Wow...

#scooby doo #fred #shaggy #is there meant to be an innuendo there #velma #and the ginger one #whats-her-name #and the dog #obviously

I don't know who Macklemore is and I've only ever seen his name in a few posts but I'm not gonna look him up because I have this image of a goth telly-tubby standing silently at the back of every episode and that is Macklemore and he is perfect.

#macklemore #telly-tubby #what does he do #should i know who he is #should i #SHOULD I

If I wanted to date rice would I date a grain of rice or a bowl of rice? Would that be cheating???????? Is each grain a single entity or is the bowl a single entity?????????????????????

political debate:

long, boring, miserable

gladiator fight:

quick, inspired, exciting

#politics #gladiators #brexit #trump #i suggest we just make them fight bears #like the good ol' days

me: *nibbling my way through an entire pack of digestives and reading conspiracy theories at 4am*......... alyën

#conspiracy theories #aliens #you gotta love 'em

dude, why would you tidy up? do you know how terrifying it is to walk around a sterile house at 3am in the morning? i dunno, man, the way i see it, it’s not a mess it’s a demon obstacle course

#demons #darkness #let's see them navigate through my bedroom

me: swallows one (1) drop of milk

my internal organs: sorry-? can you-?

me: *eats a slice of goat’s cheese* milk shall run through my veins

me: *spoons yoghurt into my mouth* and my heart will pump its creamy goodness

me: *grates parmesan into my mouth* to every limb in my body

me: *aggressively sprays whipped cream* i battle against the injustices that plague this world

me: *signals to angry peasants with pitchforks* and if i die, may i die like the men who have come before me

me: *holds wheel of brie up high* with honour and courage

me: *stands on table with burning torch* i fight for the people!

me: *burns down the village* and for our FREEDOM!

#lactose intolerance #battle #fight until the end #we shall not be defeated

u know sometimes I just want to be a peaceful peasant from the middle ages. maybe own a few sheep. start a few revolts. trade my sheep for some chickens. are we allowed to do that? that would make me really happy

#let's all breed sheep and chickens #let them around london

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