euphemism for bones

[s-u-f-j-a-n-s-t-e-v-e-n-s]

You can do it

[crimsonder]

💫

[crimsonder]

It was just heartbreaking to have been rejected by an institution you have fully committed your passion into, where you have felt the warm family, just because of who you are.

I have never felt so inferior, discriminated, disdained. I have been living with this "crisis" (crisis not because of how this just can be a "phase," but on how I get to let them know that this cannot be treated by science nor can it be overcome by Biblical verses).

The moral of it?

You can have the biggest heart, but it will still be penetrated even by the smallest needle of hate and just pierce you through it.

I feel like a shame. The idea of having to start over again. The idea of self-loathing creeping once again. The idea of getting your parents disappointed in you.

The idea of everything being put to the ground, disheveled from its preconceived result.

Exhaustion is on how you persistently look for reasons as to why this is happening.

Exhaustion and rejection are the things that fuel my Christmas.

[crimsonder]

A tanka (December 16, 2022)

Straight roads do not fork,

And I go in faulty lines.

Father must hate me,

And the heaven scorns my sound.

Adios, elevation!

[crimsonder]

"𝙂𝙖𝙣𝙤'𝙣 𝙩𝙖𝙡𝙖𝙜𝙖 𝙖𝙣𝙜 𝙗𝙪𝙝𝙖𝙮" may be a form of—if not inclined to—indolence that we, humans, mostly immerse in. It overlooks liability and takes toll on our productivity and progression.

The other factor is (and may be) being raised in an exploited nature, pushing you into thinking that there is no other way to resolve conflicts.

As we do not talk about it further, we resort to this unhealthy coping mechanisms which will later be embedded in our lives.

We have become so accustomed to this that our family members would always see life as if it were meant to be unresolved just because of the "waiting game," wrong connotation of divine intervention, and other sort of passivity.

It is just so sad that we have grown with this mentality.

[crimsonder]

From "I got tired" to "I just got hired for a teaching position!"

God really listens even to stubborn hearts. 😭

Cheers to you, younger self! We finally did it!

License naman, soon!

[crimsonder]

𝐍𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐦𝐛𝐞𝐫 𝟗, 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟐. 💭

Dove the sea of better, composed minds and bodies with secure futures.

I knew how to swim, only to hide through my years-old comic. Hours after and it was absurd, as I have realized I always feared diving.

The sun in the afternoon was bearable to be friendly enough. Curved to the best as there were my three-month lovelies—one of my few strongholds.

Ending day with a pinch of satisfaction.

To appear fearless, I sleep—pretending I am not punishing myself for not bettering. But dreams really happen in broad daylight.

[crimsonder]

[crimsonder]

📍National Museum of Fine Arts

October 18th.

[crimsonder]

[s-u-f-j-a-n-s-t-e-v-e-n-s]

Dahlia … late bloomer in the garden today

[crimsonder]

I will go wherever the transition is soft.

[crimsonder]

Why does it feel like things would not have happened if fathers were only humanly enough to apologize? That things would have been so much better. I hate how it has produced a chain reaction.

I strongly despise how conventional parenting has brought fathers who do not even know how to initiate a decent conversation without seeming egocentric, let alone being liable.

[crimsonder]

I have written countless poems which I hold dearly, but this has to be one of my most profound pieces.

Jay Romeo G. Tubera

College of Education

Bachelor of Secondary Education in Filipino

Polytechnic University of the Philippines

🏅8x President's Lister Awardee

🏅Magna Cum Laude (1.23611)

[crimsonder]

I have written countless poems which I hold dearly, but this has to be one of my most profound pieces.

Jay Romeo G. Tubera

College of Education

Bachelor of Secondary Education in Filipino

Polytechnic University of the Philippines

🏅8x President's Lister Awardee

🏅Magna Cum Laude (1.23611)

[crimsonder]

☀️

[crimsonder]

It has already become reasonable for some to allow the preservation of the status quo even if it takes rendering them exhaustion. Perhaps, it is because it takes so much excavation and elaboration to consider dismantling it.

Laziness is what greed takes advantage of. They love to exploit you when you are in your weakest point—your ignorance.

It will unknowingly extract your hard work.

It will make you believe that you really grind for your future.

It will disregard your rest believing that you need to overwork to be successful.

The convention has taken so much from you.