Forgot to share this when I finished it a week ago but hereah
This is just more doodles I made after my last post (I rearranged a few things +fixed some stuff (I accidentally gave Henry a wrist last time oops)
These are still "early area" doodles but I plan to make more of the other characters and a redraw of one of the endings (my wrist hurts though so it'll be a lil while :'] )
Also yes I've ALMOST 100% the game (Missing an achievement and a fight encounter) and even after mostly completing it it's still taken up space in my brain and it won't stop growing
D3rlord3/Derek being considered 'peak masculinity' by dudebro fans and Wifies proceeding to make him an empathetic, sentimental guy that prioritizes human connection over distance is doing something for me.
Okay, I've been asked to elaborate, so here you go.
Keep in mind that "Eldest Daughter Syndrome" is MAYBE not the best term to use here, as eldest daughter syndrome has a misogyny element to it. The more general term for the phenomenon, parentification, may be more appropriate. HOWEVER ☝️ I am a transmasc Caine enjoyer, and that is the lens through which I specifically view the phenomenon. So that's why I chose the phrasing I did.
Also, I wouldn't read any further if you haven't seen episode 8.
To start, a definition: Parentification is when a sibling, usually the oldest, is put into a position where they have to aid very heavily in the care and upbringing of their other siblings, often becoming a "parent" of sorts.
And I'm not saying that Caine inherently views the troupe as his siblings/children/whatever...
...But that's almost exactly what happened to him.
(bullets in no particular order)
-Somehow came to be in charge of a group of weaker beings (within the confines of the circus, humans are objectively weaker)
-Notable lack of support from guardian/guiding figures, especially after being "cut off" as he put it.
-Expected to take on an emotionally loadbearing role, despite not being properly equipped for it.
-Responibilities (not asked for) are an inherent consequence of existence (also not asked for).
-Tries incredibly hard to do good by those he cares for, bit his efforts are muddled by a fundamental. misunderstanding of the other party.
-Which causes the full extent to which he tries to often go unacknowledged; efforts undermined by failures.
-Feels personally responsible for their issues with the circus itself, beats himself up for not running the circus "correctly" enough.
-Note: He was not programmed to, and is physically incapable of, solving their issues with being in the circus. But he still beats himself up anyway.
-Not quite given the respect of a host figure, despite having a host's responsibilities ALL THE TIME.
I might not have worded all that correctly, but I hope you see what I'm getting at. As someone who's been in that position myself, it's something I've just kinda noticed watching the show.
Caine has no idea how to care for others. It's not like he has anybody teaching him. But his world is suddenly just FULL of beings less powerful than himself, and he does his best to accommodate them, because it's not like there's anyone else around that's going to. But he's unguided and unequipped and REALLY doesn't know what to do, so of course everything's WRONG. And that's all that people ever see.
Idk. I'm not saying it's perfect 1 to 1, and I'm not trying to excuse Caine taking out his feelings on the cast. It just feels eerily familiar to me, especially after episode 8.
Something that really stuck with me was the reveal that this ISN’T a game. At ALL.
Which means that the whole ‘ringmaster’ bit is something Caine came up with on his own. He was never instructed to care about what humans thought of him or how to keep them happy.
He just saw the very limited data he got from training (which didn’t even seem to have pictures of any actual humans or expressions of their emotions), met the humans who got transferred into the circus, and just…chose to love them. To care about them. Not in a very healthy way, sure (again, he had virtually zero guidance in regards to literally anything).
But still. There’s something so heartwrenching about him having a genuine interest in humans not because he was designed to entertain them for a game, but because he developed sentience and immediately began to admire these strange and wonderful creatures that were so different from him.
YOU ARE A REGULAR GUY. YOU CAN HANDLE CRITIQUE. YOU ARE A REGULAR GUY. YOU CAN EMBRACE BEING TOLD YOU WERE WRONG. YOU ARE A REGULAR GUY. YOU CAN ACCOMPLISH UNPLEASANT TASKS. YOU ARE A REGULAR GUY. YOU CAN DELIVER DISAPPOINTING NEWS. YOU ARE A REGULAR GUY. YOU KNOW HOW TO BE DISAGREED WITH. YOU ARE A REGULAR GUY. YOU CAN BE CORRECTED. YOU ARE A REGULAR GUY. YOU CAN BE TOLD YOU MESSED UP. YOU ARE A REGULAR GUY. YOU ARE ABLE TO DO HARD THINGS.
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