Looking back at my short story
Finally got around to revising my short story again. Crazy how much you can notice if you just step away for a bit and revisit it later. I knew creating a sci-fi story would be a challenge but being able to take a break after finishing it was extremely helpful in seeing the problems I've made. Iâm working on fixing the second half of the story and some silly mistakes throughout but more importantly, I've realized the ending needs some clarification as well. Here's an excerpt of my original story. Any advice or suggestions would be appreciated.Â
A loud click and then a droning beep awakens me from my wandering thoughts. As if it senses my presence, a new life seems to possess the vessel. Far into the depths of the ship, ancient alien technology springs to life. I feel gears shift and systems power on shaking the ground beneath me. A grinding sound followed by a halt ends the phenomenon and then only a low hum remains.
I snap into focus. Itâs time. I have a very important mission.
I approach the newfound doorway in the far left corner of the barren room. Itâs so subtle, it feels as if it's been there this whole time.
I think back to when they invaded. The threats they made to kill us drove society mad. These extraterrestrial beings forced us to accept their conditions if we wanted them to leave our planet.
I am here to satisfy these conditions.
An alluring darkness shrouds the entrance as I look into the room and for a moment I feel a strange force pulling me forward. I am ready for him, or more accurately I am ready for it. I donât know who Iâll encounter on the other side of this door but whatever it is, I know for a fact it wonât be human.
Without any further delay, I urge myself onwards. I hear a voice and surprisingly, it calls my name.
âTrent McMillin! Are you ready for the interview?â a voice says far off on the other side of the room.
This must be a terrible joke. Thereâs no way this is real, yet their initial conditions were very specific.
âAn interview. Send one of your species and if he or she passes we will leave your planet. Fail and you will all face a fate worse than death.â
When things got bad they chose me.
My mind wanders back into the present. The voice calling me is low but rough. This creature is way older than I think.
I put on a brave face and head across the room. The room is small but its high ceiling makes it seems spacious. The lanky figure on the other side of room seems very impatient as he waits behind an oddly shaped table. He stares at me intently.
I sit. I remember why Iâm here. I canât let everyone down.
The alien like creature across from me lets out a hackling cough. It wipes itâs face. Â
I remember the world is counting on me.
âSo they sent you on behalf of your planet. I'm not impressedâ
It leans in. I get a better look at its face. It's black, scaled skin almost blends in with the dark atmosphere of the room. Thin facial features make its complexion appear slightly human but if there's anything I know for certain in this place, it's that this creature is anything but.
âYou're the first.â Itâs mouth breaks into a terrifyingly wide grin.
âYouâre expecting more people to participate in this convoluted interview?â I respond.
âMaybe, after you fail of courseâ
I stand up a little straighter. âIâm here to prove you wrong. It wasnât just chance that I was chosen among millions of people to accept your offer.â
âIt also wasnât just chance that brought me to your planet. You humans are useless, destroying your own planet for personal gain.â
âNot all of us. The fact that Iâm even here having this conversation proves that you're wrong.â
The creature grunts in disbelief.
âBecause by accepting this interview, I and millions of others want to save it.â
A moment of silence. Getting up from its seat, the creature appears terrifyingly tall. Almost twice the height of an average person.
A tactic to scare me? Clever, I think to myself.
Turning its back toward me and looking into nothingness, the creature releases a deathly cough. The second time now. If I didnât know any better, Iâd say itâs sick.
It clears it's throat, âYou're aware of how this works?â
âYeah, considering you keep true to the conditionsâ
âOf courseâ a sly smiles spreads across its face
