@crit7kal - Tumblr Blog

memeufacturing-deactivated20161

school: We need your ROUGHEST 1-ply toilet paper for our bathrooms salesman: we already sell you the shittiest paper available sir school *sliding them $10,000 that could have gone to the arts department*: maybe this will… Change your mind

venus-adept

I AM WALKING RIGHT NOW

free-ottawe

WALK SLOWER YOU SPEED DEMON

sublimesublemon

drvoldemountme

sixpenceee

Applying sunblock, a visible-light/UV-light comparison. (Source)

outfitspirations

Outfit inspiration

archive95205-blog

today at work i let someone into a dressing room and they said “thanks” and half of me tried to say “you’re welcome” and the other half tried to say “no problem” and i ended up saying “your problem”

lemonbraid-deactivated20130415

missmephisto

this post had me in tears

ghost-plot

I was hoping the notes would be full of similar stories, but they’re not, so I’ll add my story for anyone else looking for more laughs:

I had to go to a library to pay a fee and I was practicing in the car between “I have to pay a fine” and “I have to pay a fee” and I walked in and firmly stated “I have to pee” and slapped a five dollar bill on the counter (the fee was like ten cents), and walked out. This was like three years ago and I still haven’t been back,

greatestgoth

My friend was driving and we were almost past our turnoff so I tried to say “quick” and “fast” at the same time and I ended up screaming “QUACK” which ended up with him judging me very hard and missing the turn

soldieronbarnes

Recently someone in class asked me how I was doing and I started off saying I was good but switched to I’m okay in the middle and ended up saying “I’m gay.”

Which, while kind of accurate, was not what I meant to announce to my classmate.

spankyhole

This Halloween I was handing out candy and a child said “trick or treat” and I smiled gave them their candy and apparently my mouth betrayed me and I said “Merry Christmas” and proceeded to sit down and look up to the sky for answers while their mother laughed at me :)))))

succlentwitch

I was switching between “Bye Deanna” and “Goodbye” and I ended up saying “Go Die”

stellaathena

Sometimes I try to say “I fucking love you” but it comes out in the wrong order and then everyone’s uncomfortable.

magebird-old

When I first started my coffee shop job, I was still getting used to greeting customers as they came in the door. A man walked in, and in the jumble of trying to say, “How are you doing?” and “What’s up?” I ended up demanding “What are you doing here?!”

ledamemangociana

something really cool happened once at the office and i started to say “i’m so amazed” but halfway through my mind changed to “that’s really amazing” and i just ended up saying “i’m really so amazing”

umbrellabonsai-deactivated20180

one time i was out in the woods in the spring when the birds were just beginning to come out again and i went to say “i’m so pumped for the birds” and “i’m so hyped for the birds” and instead i said “i’m so humped for birds”

muraqiba

Once I was walking to school and there was a guy walking his dog and the dog came to me and started sniffing me and I was in such a good mood and when I passed by his owner I wanted to say like “hello” or “good morning” or “cute dog” or something like that and I ended up looking up at him, smiling real big, and saying “thank you”.

thegenderfluiddruid

I was at the convenience store and I was going to buy a drink, but i dropped my keys and the drink when I got to the register so I got caught between “my drink!” and “my keys” and ended up screaming “MY KINK.”

meme-of-lord-deactivated2016102

I walked up to this register,in a target. When the cashier finished checking me out she said have a good day, and i wanted to say “You have a good day” and “You too” so it came out “You have a good do do”

queenvalerie-replies-deactivate

I FUCKIN H HIT MY HEAD ON A CHAIR FROM LAUGHING TOO HARD AT THIS FUCKING POS T

andyouknowit

This post is too good. I once tried to say have a nice day or have a good day to a customer and said ‘Have a nude gay!’. Still haven’t recovered.

strawberryaj-blog

OOC: i get really used to working nights or days at my work so i’m often jumbled between “have a nice night” and “have a good day” so often it comes out as “have a nice neigh” or “have a good date” or occasionally even “have a night die”

m4ge-deactivated20210331

in first grade someone apologized to me and i responded by saying “you’re welcome” and i still haven’t recovered

happydays-hereagain-deactivated

I was mad at my friend Gabe and tried to call him a bitch, ended up calling him “babe”. It’s been four years and he still hasn’t let it go

chronicimpulsivereader

My little sister tried to say “sneaky” and “secretive” at the same time and ended up saying “sneakrative”

ahyperactivehero

One time my friend’s mom was driving us home and she tried to yell “Opossum! ” because one ran out into the road, but it got mixed up with “My God!” And came out “MUFASA!” She laughed so hard she had to pull over and my friend almost had an asthma attack.

nabooren

Once I went to this restaurant my family and I had been going to since I was an infant,and I wanted to ask if my family had been going there since before I was born. Well,something got mixed up in my brain and I ended up turning to my mom and saying “Did you guys come here when I was still alive?” And my mom lost her damn mind.

hobbitdad

divine-noire

Iconic

micdotcom

i-am-horse-blog

someclassysas-blog

sixpenceee

The above are notes attached to babies abandoned at the NY Foundling. Some of these made me cry! (Source)

notcreativeneoughforthis

My heart broke a little at each one, but the last probably killed me

apineda922

This broke my heart. Can you imagine the struggle these women had inside when they had to give their children up like this? Had to give up the child they loved and cared for since the moment they found out they were carrying the child inside her. This hurts me to the very core…