Nervous lazy a$$

[croppylollipop]

I haven't seen someone talking about it. Not once. So... I'll say about it

Maybe it's just my problem. Just listen to me, ok? I love writing. I loved it since young age. From kindergarten, specifically. I wrote short stories in my Winx notepads. With many grammatical errors with reversed letters ofc. Then I continued with fanfics, my own stories (with none ended) and finally with my and my friends' OCs. And here I am

Just a bunch of hours ago I finished fanfic. And god it was so PAINFUL and AWFUL. Not writing, no. Finishing it. I remember feeling joy. I remember writing fics in one night (I won't decide was it good or no) and feeling proud about it

Since when it became so bad? Why I'm feeling emptiness and no will to live anymore when I'm doing something I like? It's starts whimsical and joyful only to crash me in the end

Why can't I just enjoy it? Why funny ends with tragedy? Is it some kind of curse? Usually you'll get sick or broke your bones or end up in hospital. Why does Ao3 curse give me depression? I was depressed most time of my life and my hobbies won't give me joy I need. Sadly, not only writing

I'm sorry for dumping guys. I just don't like this feeling that much. I want to create something and get joy so you'll get joy too

Sadly, I will never be satisfied

[croppylollipop]

Well, hi everyone. It's always awkward to start something. Posts, fanfics, etc. But today I brought you something to show!

Just a bit more than a week and I'll see my sis and bestie in one person in real life. I can't visit her without any gifts. For now, she has fix on Danganronpa (check her art, it's really great! @homelizard ) so I made her her sweet adorable favorite boy! She said I can post it here too so... hope you'll like it! Don't judge me too much please, I'm still midner (like mid + beginner like I know some stuff but still don't have enough skills in making things better) but I still like to yap

[croppylollipop]

So um... few things happened but this isn't really important. I'm still nervous to do that buuuut I wrote a fic! Well, two fics, technically

English not my first language but I wanted to give myself a try. I wrote this fic with my mother language (Russian) and translate it!

For those, who can read Russian here's og version: https://archiveofourown.org/works/82684501

So, I'll put English version below, and you can leave kudos if you'd like it! Here's translated version: https://archiveofourown.org/works/82685641

Hope you'll enjoy it 😅

Playing Minecraft

Rating: General Audiences

Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply

Categories: Gen, M/M

Fandom: New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing

Relationship: Oma Kokichi/Saihara Shuichi

Characters: Oma Kokichi, Saihara Shuichi, Akamatsu Kaede, Momota Kaito, Hoshi Ryoma, Amami Rantaro, Iruma Miu, Shirogane Tsumugi

Additional Tags: Pre-Relationship, Alternate Universe, Streamer Saihara Shuichi, YouTuber Oma Kokichi, Oma Kokichi Is a Little Shit, Nervous Saihara Shuichi, Slightly machine translation, Not Beta Read, English Is Not The Author's First Language

[homelizard]

Kinda stuck with one idea for hanahaki au for the last few days 

Like, I really love hanahaki au, especially how illness looks, but every time I read these things and it has a happy ending, I just... dunno, don't believe in it? Like... isn't it too easy? Not like it’s bad, as fairytale hanahaki is kinda sweet, and again I really love it 

But... I just thought, what if I'll try to create a version in which I'll be able to believe? 

Just imagine, story starts with confession, and characters starts dating, everything is good and nice and sweet that typical happy end yeah  but only until the first argument  and then hanahaki returns :)  and now you have situation where flowers return each time something goes wrong 

What can go wrong? 

For example:  Was the confession real or was the other person just not wanting to be guilty of someone's death?  If other person didn't have hanahaki, does it mean that they love less?

And yeah I actually can continue really long but I'm too lazy, sorry

By the way partner who didn't have hanahaki also could have plenty of such topics for discussion 

And after thinking about such things for some time i kinda come up with some ideas about Ouma in such au and it kinda ended with this art pheh 

I drew it all assuming it’s a story about saiouma, but in fact, there is only Ouma on art, so, you can interpret it as whatever you like I guess? 

I'm very much not sure if I'm gonna continue with this idea, actually- but i still kinda like it pheh 

(btw, i draw there flowers of sakura, but it's not flowers Ouma has in my concepts, just story starts during sakura blooming  Ouma in that concepts have snowdrops  And yeah, there also another system of interpretation of flowers  I'll tell you more about it if I return to this au in which i'm not sure actually

And yeah, no killing game they all students of HPA or it's became to comlicated for this idea)

[homelizard]

yay i did it! It took less time than i thought anyway its kinda rare art i gonna give a title most of my works don't have one, but yeah it was asking for one "Happy Birthday, Zag"

p.s. i'm kinda new to the fandom and dunno if there's any special date as Zag birthday so yeah, just ignore dates, sunshine, they don't mater here

[homelizard]

It's not like I really planned to post it or even finish, but when was last time anything went as I want xD

Let's just say if u see it, u lucky one, sunshine

[croppylollipop]

I don't anything to add. The art... It's perfect ✨

[croppylollipop]

Today I found video on TikTok like “it's u and ur bestie” with Aventurine and Sunday. I sent it to my bestie and we had dialog

- who

- idc

- guess I'm Aventurine if we count amount of money I spent on my entertainments

- well, someone said I have big bro energy, guess I'm Sunday now :D

I love them

[croppylollipop]

After reaching 4❤️ with almost everyone (except Dozy, Henrietta and marketers) I chose someone to romance in future updates

Badly for Valen, she's not the winner. I chose Ryis as final candidate

I'm still going to watch all cutscenes, though, so I'll know everyone's stories and development

I chose Valen first because of her looks, then I started thinking about March because of his development and then about Reina and Ryis because of personalities. I'll think about dating someone new in other playthroughs, but for now that's it

Summary on characters:

Adeline and Eiland need therapist; Balor and Juniper scare me; Celine and Reina are sweet, I'll think about characters for them; Valen and Hayden ended being not so special to me; March also needs therapist AND I want to fight him and be better so he won't look at me from above

Also, I made my self insert less self insert and did some outfits for every season! In pictures order: spring, summer, fall and winter

[animentality]

[croppylollipop]

I'm not dead, still playing FOM but a bit bored. And I had an idea right today to crochet some keychains for my girl groupmates. But the problem is I have only yarn and hooks not any furniture and I still get born easily

So there only one keychain I made but I'll try my best on these weekends not to just play games but also do some stuff too. Don't judge too much, these knits above are to knot this keychain somewhere

The blanket under keychain also my work, I did it like... 4-5 years ago?¿ I'm not sure but it's not new

[croppylollipop]

Hayden: so, we need cheese. If you haven't done it, let me explain: take milk from your cows, go to the mill and make cheese

My farmer without any animals: ... As you say

Reina: and we also need eggs

My farmer: I'm screwed

[croppylollipop]

Let's just... Let's just *think* I can be smart. Or maybe my brain not working bc of studies? That'll be a good point

What happened? Summer in FOM happened. I won't restart, ofc, but I was SO DUMB... So now I have some requests I could do only next year, bc I messed up everything. Someone just don't thinking at all. I tried to find fish and moth for 20 Mines in town... And then I tried to catch fish in Mines... Got exactly one I needed... And realized how I spent 90% of Summer outside Mines... That'll be a lesson for me, definitely :,)

[croppylollipop]

My fixation fades away, mostly because I'm tired of farming (I ended building Robin today in HSR + problems with Mines in FOM + bad luck in FOM), so maybe it will last post about FOM until next update. I won't write post about characters I don't want to romance and why, I'll just write about my favorite non romancible characters

Before I start this list (sorry, I just really can't make myself yapp like before), I think next posts will be about HSR or books I'm currently reading (Jun Jiuling and The Rise of Phoenixes series) or I hope so

That's the list of my favs:

1. Dell

2. Holt

3. Nora

4. Hemlock

5. Josephine

6. Elsie

Maybe next time I'll talk about this list more but not now... Hope you doing great guys

[croppylollipop]

So I played a bit more, my game crashed few times, I send a letter to developers about it, hope it would be fixed... I just want to spend my time in Mines, y'know...

And I also figured out I was a dummy... Because it “Fields OF Mistria”, not “Fields IN Mistria”. I called this game FIM instead of FOM, its my bad, sorry everyone :(

While I'm resting from playing, here's my girlie ^^ She's prob my self-insert, I don't have any backstory for her. At the same time my closest friend started playing FOM today, they have background for their character, they even drew it but I won't show you for now. Maybe later

I paid for the game to my friend, so they'll draw my girlie as commission. I don't know which look they'll choose, I'll show you when it will be done

Have a great day or night or something you have now ^^ For me its night, though

[croppylollipop]

Hi, guys, I left my grave and got ready to yap again! Today I'm gonna talk about families in FIM :>

First couple is Elsie and Errol. I think they great uncle and auntie but as parents... Idk. I think they could be but I'd prefer others to become my parents. Maybe it's because they too royal for me and my vibe

Next is Landen. I think he could be normal parent. Not too great, not too bad. He well try his best, but this “best” not always the way he wants it to be

Josephine and Hemlock are sweethearts! I could be their daughter, I'd also date their daughter. They seem to be simple and caring parents. Their vibe just... Calm. And you can actually see that Hemlock LOVES his wife. They are wonderful

And last one, Holt and Nora. They are like my own parents but without traumas. They comfy, their children my favorites (and I'm sad that I can't give Dell coffee because of her age and accident). They my top 1 parents in-game

So, it's all I wanted to say about parenting in game. Even if Errol, Elsie and Landen not parents but uncles/aunties, still, they are families

So, have a great day or night! Whatever you have now

[croppylollipop]

Um... Hi guys ^^' I'm here with an update! If you don't want spoilers, feel free to skip this post, I don't mind

I reached Summer 1 in FIM (from now I'll call that game this way) and apparently had to leave. But! I fixed the Mill and got two hearts with several characters, and I can't silence

I still don't know what should I do... But this time it's not about Juniper

Call me cringe, say me I fell into abyss of normies but hear me out...

Before I continue, there's some backstory about me, hope u enjoy :з I played Stardew Valley 100+ hours but never reached the end. I never played till Fall, though, so it's says more about my personality... I despise all this people who yapping “FIM is SV copy, it's nothing interesting, you all freaks!” on TikTok. Both games are good, I still have spot for SV in my heart, but FIM for me more interesting. The only difference with my sympathy is fishing, in FIM it's not that interesting for me, but I spend more time in Mines than in SV

So, in SV Shane is alcoholic who is rude for us, players, but with time he becomes more friendly and all... And I thought about him when I met March. But March wasn't my love interest at all until his cutscene on two hearts...

I want to date March? I want to fight him? I want to get first place and win him? Idk. But I felt... Something that made my desire to play more burning. He literally gave us lightweight copper hoe? After being mean and rude about our appearance? Wow. For me it's... A lot. So he has first place in my top of romancible characters (that's important)

Valen is mysterious woman, and I'll keep trying to be flirty with her. I have a theory that they with Juniper are kind of rivals? Magical rivals? Because on two hearts event we were at her basement and she refused to answer our questions. Evil scientist? Maybe. And I'll found out. Second place belongs to her

Ryis has third place! If he was real, I'd date him. He's really gentle, he wants to repair birds home, he literally looks like a green flag in all game? Give him to me. Now

And the last one is Reina! She sweet, knows how to cook, great elder sister and just... Wonderful? I still want to be adopted by her parents but if I marry their daughter they also could call me their daughter. I just feel safe knowing I can go in the Inn, meet my wife and her wonderful parents there? And also spend time with kids? Wow. That's amazing

Some of you could say “Date them all!” but I have few reasons why not. The last one: I don't if I can do this in game. And first and most important: it will be against myself. I despise all cheaters, I have trauma in that thing, so... No. I want to have my happily ever after with one person. I just need to choose

Small spoiler for next posts: I'll talk about families in MIF, romancible characters I don't want to romance and some non-romancible characters I like. But, for now, I'll continue to play. Maybe that'll help me choosing. At least I hope so

[croppylollipop]

So, a few days ago I found out about Fields of Mistria. Mostly, I was seduced by the villagers (have you seen them? They all SO HOT) . I IMMEDIATELY bought this game and played pretty much for someone who gets bored easily

And I chose the love of my love — Valen. So I talked with her every day (except one when I died in Mines), gave her presents and almost reached two hearts! But life is cruel, and my heart hurts every time (specifically, on Fridays) Juniper around my girl

It's so sick to get jealous, but I just... I can't 😭 They have so much chemistry with each other... Their flirt is elite, Valen bought most expensive vine specially for Juniper. They could be in love or divorced wives, nothing in between

So now I'm struggling. I still want to flirt with Valen, but now I'm too sensitive :( Should I leave them alone? Find someone else to romance? Idk

Both of them are romancible, and it kills even more. Living in Mistria where everyone is friendly (really friendly, I feel like I can be adopted by some families (I'll make post about this later)) feels lonely. Like, everybody know each other for a very long time, most of adults saw each other's childhood and marriages, love interests have many interactions with each other, they all are alive and... You just there. They say they accept you but you still alone

Maybe I'm just overthinking it