The Academy Days VI
Aaron Hotchner x reader
Summary: It was well known within the team that there was one other person that had captured their team leader's heart. You knew Aaron back when he and Haley took a break from their relationship and he went to the academy and met you. What the team doesn’t know is that you have been with the FBI ever since, working the west coast mainly until you get requested to join the BAU.
series list word count: 4.4K
an// the timeline is a little different in this from the show, Aaron spent longer as a prosecutor before going to the academy and joining the FBI for this to work and to make the reader younger than Aaron. This is also a world where Foyet never happened and Haley is still alive.
-
You had gotten hours of sleep back at the hotel, but the night dragged on anyway. The unsub’s countdown kept ticking by on the monitor at the far end of the table. You have half scribbled behavioral notes that are all heavy on the guesswork. Prentiss and Morgan checked in periodically from the field, still retracing the previous bomb sites looking for overlap.
Every check in ended the same way on both ends. No solid leads.
Across the room behind you Aaron remains stretched across the couch. Every so often you find yourself looking over involuntarily. Each time you force yourself back toward the case board. Seeing Aaron asleep felt strangely intimate. Sure, everyone’s had a nap on the jet, but this was just the two of you.
He looked too human. Too soft. Without the rigid posture and constant focus he looked younger and it reminded you of a version of him you tried to keep blocked out.
You rub your eyes tiredly before leaning back in your chair. You were missing something. The unsub is building toward a final event. He isn’t random. It’s not chaos for chaos’ sake. He had intention and you could feel it.
“Any luck?”
You look toward the door expecting Morgan and Emily but instead find Mark. He’s in a new suit but it’s clear he didn’t sleep much either.
You sigh, “Not enough.”
He nods once before looking over the new things you had added to the board. He glances over at the couch, spotting Aaron. He looks back at you right after.
“I’m heading out for coffee.”
You perk up and he smirks.
“I knew that’d get your attention.” He laughs, “I remember something about ‘bureau coffee tastes like battery acid’.”
You smile, “Let me ask you this, when was the last time someone cleaned that thing?”
You gesture to the ancient machine sitting along the far wall, he holds up his hands in defence and takes a couple steps backward toward the door.
“Same order?”
You nod immediately and his eyes flick over your shoulder toward Aaron again.
“What about him?”
You blink a couple times, honestly surprised he was offering. It must’ve shown on your face too because he snorted softly.
“We’re all working to catch the son of a bitch together.” He shrugs, “Team morale or whatever.”
You huff a small laugh before looking back toward the couch.
“Large black coffee.”
He nods and disappears out into the bullpen. The silence in the room takes over again and you give it exactly three seconds.
“You really gotta work on your poker face if you’re going to make a habit of eavesdropping.”
Silence.
“Does it count as eavesdropping if I’m in plain sight?” Aaron eventually answers.
You spin around in your chair and he still has his eyes closed. You don’t know the exact moment he woke up, but you knew he was awake when you looked over at him when Mark asked about his coffee. He sits up, his hair messy and in all directions from the throw pillows.
“You could’ve told him your coffee order yourself.”
A faint near smile crosses his face.
“That was a surprise.” He admits, “He’s a good man.”
You raise your brows to show how surprised you are at the admission.
“He is.”
“Why didn’t you marry him?” He asks boldly and you sigh. You run a hand back through your hair to buy yourself a couple seconds to come with the answer. You know you can’t lie to him, there’s no use.
“After our break up I told myself I would never settle for less.” You confess, wanting to dodge his stare, “I knew if I went through with the wedding… “
You stare off for a second, not finishing the thought. You can’t and not to him of all people. After a second or two you look back at him and where he’s still focused on you.
“He deserved better.” You nod, leaving it at that.
Aaron swallows, finally looking down and wiping his palms on the top of his thighs in front of him. You turn back toward the table and press your elbows into it with your hands folded together. The converging maps still lay out in front of you.
You shift back into work mode and he rolls up the wrinkled sleeves of his button down to reveal his forearms and leans forward to put his shoes back on.
“Any breakthroughs?”
“Maybe.”
That got his attention. You grab one of the subway maps and he stands up and leans over your shoulder. You point toward the locations of each bombing.
“We’ve been assuming escalation meant bigger casualties.”
He nods, “But?”
“I don’t think he’s targeting our response time. I think he’s testing the traffic patterns at different hours and locations to see what gives him the biggest fallout.”
He nods and you continue.
“The first attack was the car bomb, and the passengers were the only victims, the road was only closed for a few hours. The second bomb was at a subway platform, which closed that train but the lines were still running. The coffee shop shut down access for a block radius. The most recent one? That line is still closed because of the wreckage and thousands of people are using alternate routes.”
“The fewer routes, the more people condensed on the alternate routes.” He continues, catching on immediately.
You nod, “He bottlenecks people to specific trains and then targets them heavily.”
Your eyes meet at the same time at the realization. This unsub wasn’t simply trying to cause panic, he was looking to harm thousands of civilians.
Mark comes back with a tray of coffees, the rest of the team following behind him. JJ and Reid look more alive than when you last saw them. You offer Mark a quick ‘thank you’ when he hands you your drink. He then turns toward Aaron and offers his. Rossi’s eyes follow the motion and his shoulders move with a silent chuckle.
“Thank you.” Aaron takes it.
“Oh this is messy.” Garcia’s eyes widen, looking between everyone in the room.
“Garcia.” You warn, cutting her a look.
“First thing in the morning…” She sits down and opens her laptop and continues mumbling mostly to herself, “Where’s my coffee?”
Everyone settles in around the table.
“We have two hours.” Aaron announces and you look over to the countdown. It’ll go off at 8 o’clock this morning, during the start of the morning rush. He continues, “Y/n has a theory I think we should pursue.”
He looks over to you and nods.
You point at the maps, “I think he’s trying to target train lines to get more people on the alternate routes. The alternate routes are the real targets, they’ll be more crowded than usual.”
JJ’s face pales slightly, “That’s thousands of people commuting.”
“And a dozen different train lines that he could be targeting.” Morgan’s expression hardens, “We can’t cover every line with bomb squads fast enough.”
“So we don’t.” You cut in.
Aaron nods, “We’ll pair off. Morgan and Emily take the A line. JJ and Rossi take the 7 line. Reid and Garcia, monitor surveillance and coordinate the remaining lines with local agents. Y/n and I will take the F line.”
-
The subway platform beneath Manhattan felt crowded before you and Aaron had fully descended the stairs. Commutters were packed shoulder to shoulder, moving in both directions getting in and off passing trains. You are hanging on every second, Reid just announced in your earpiece that the unsub’s timer has run out.
You and Aaron are scanning people constantly, your shoulder is barely brushing his as you face different directions. You’re looking for everything. Behavior. Movement. Nerves.
“I have a bad feeling.” You frown, Aaron glances over at you for a split second.
The energy was wrong. You had a pit in your stomach that was telling you to run.
“I feel it too.” The ever so rational Aaron Hotchner admits.
The train shutters to a stop, all the doors opening simultaneously. There’s an exchange of people getting off and then on the train. Moms with strollers pass through, elderly couples, and dozens of people heading in for work.
The train doors shut after a few seconds and then immediately bounce back open with the conductor cracking on the PA. Everyone lets out a collective groan.
“Train delay.” The train conductor announces, “Something blocking the line, please hold.”
This is it.
“Aaron-”
“Yep.”
Both of you immediately shift to get people moving.
“Everybody off the train NOW!” You shout, waving people out toward the stairs and guiding them out. People start flooding past the two of you.
“FBI” Aaron yells, “Off the train!”
The panic was immediate, people screaming and shoving. Everyone is trying to force themselves toward the exits. You and Aaron move through the chaos like experts, helping mothers get their children to the stairs, trying to get everyone as far away as possible.
The train is empty and nearly everyone is moving up the stairs. Everything moving in seconds, you turn to look for Aaron.
You press on your ear piece, “Reid get emergency services to the F train and figure out which alternate lines he would target if he takes out the F train.”
“Y/n has there been an attack?” Reid answers quickly.
“Not yet-”
“Let’s go.” Aaron reaches out his arm and gestures for the two of you to leave. You look back once to make sure no one was left behind and he pushes you forward ahead of him closer to the stairs.
And then the world exploded. The blast hit like a physical wall, glass shattered violently and metal screamed. For one long terrifying second, nothing existed except for white noise and intense pressure.
The sound comes back rushing, you slowly lift your head. Smoke has taken over the station forcing you to cough violently as you try to reorient yourself. Pain is throbbing near the top of your forehead. Warm blood slides slowly down your temple as you get up on wobbly legs.
“Aaron?” You call, squinting through all the smoke. The lights have gone out and the stairs are clouded with distant daylight. You can see a few remaining civilians flee, running up to the street level. Panic punches in your chest at the lack of response from him. You walk back toward the subway platform where there’s small flames and the edge to the platform is gone. The subway car is in warped pieces and the concrete ledge is crumbling away.
You turn back to see Aaron standing. Barely. Something about the look on his face made your stomach drop. You take quick careful steps toward him, avoiding the rubble.
“Aaron?”
He looks up and his balance wavers and you catch his arm before he can trip over his own feet.
“You’ve got glass in your hair.” He shouts it like you’re still standing across the station instead of inches away.
You freeze as his hands come up instinctively to your head, brushing off the glass in your hair.
“Aaron, we’ve gotta get out of here.” You gesture toward the stairs, your lungs craving fresh air. The sound of sirens is getting louder from the street above.
His eyes look distant like he doesn’t follow.
“I think you’re in shock.”
He frowns and you nod toward the stairs. He follows you as you carefully make your way upstairs, coughing while the dust is still trying to settle. Police are flooding in while people are screaming for help.
You reach for your earpiece to talk to Reid but it would seem you lost it in the blast. Hopefully he is looking into the alternate route for the closure, you and Aaron may have bought the critical seconds needed to avoid mass casualty. Maybe.
A black SUV pulls up right next to you with lights flashing. Morgan and Prentiss get out before he fully puts it in park.
“Are you guys okay?” Emily asks, concern written all over her face as she takes you two in.
“I don’t think he can hear.” You explain.
“Again?” Derek sighs.
“This has happened before?” Your eyes go wide.
“Not even the first time in New York.” He shakes his head and you look horrified.
“Jesus.” You mutter, clutching the top of your head where it pounds.
You can still feel Aaron staring at you like he’s trying very hard to stay grounded. It’s pure chaos around all of you while people are being treated for minor injuries and hundreds of people are flooded into one spot, narrowly avoiding the bomb that knocked you and Aaron on your asses.
“You with me?” You ask carefully. His eyes are focused on reading your lips, he slowly nods.
“Reid is sending the bomb squads to the M stations.” Morgan explains, “He said you guys called it in before the blast.”
You nod once, tiredly. Paramedics begin to crowd the two of you, checking out his hearing and the wound on your head that won’t stop bleeding. The adrenaline and smoke are still burning through you, but you catch Aaron’s eyes every few seconds through the chaos.
-
Reid managed to get the bomb squad evacuating the alternate route and the tactical team caught the unsub attempting to plant the secondary explosive on a crowded inbound train. He was swarmed with no other option but to surrender and they didn’t give him the chance to self detonate.
Hundreds of lives were saved.
Just like that, over forty-eight hours of terror over the city came to an end. JJ called it in to confirm for everyone that he had been taken away in handcuffs while screaming incoherently. Hours later after you and Aaron have both been cleared by medical, everyone ends up back in the conference room with packed go-bags and bare evidence boards.
It still looked like a warzone, coffee cups littered everywhere. You’re sitting at the table with everyone else, trying hard to focus on your paperwork rather than the stitches throbbing along your hairline. The jet is fueling and the official medical clearance to actually fly home should be coming any second.
“You look even more badass now.” Garcia insists.
“Thanks, Garc.” You smile.
Aaron’s hearing had mostly returned, by his standard. He was still a little off balance, but it had mostly returned after the initial blast ringing faded. Every once and a while he’d miss the beginning of a sentence and try to hide it.
“We’ve gotta stop coming to New York.” Morgan shakes his head, “One of us always nearly gets blown up.”
“Yes,” Aaron agrees, “let’s not make it a habit.”
“Says you.” You bite, “You’re two for two.”
Garcia lets out a tired sigh, “Can we all just agree bombers are the worst forever?”
The room offered her nods to agree.
Reid looks up from his notes, “If we’re talking statistics, they’re among the least empathetic offender groups.”
Emily points at him, “Reid, I cannot handle any more statistics
Out of the corner of your eye you see Mark approach the open door.
“Hotchner.”
Aaron looks up at him, but everyone’s head’s snap up in surprise. Everyone looks too fast and Mark nods behind him outside of the room.
“Can we talk?”
Aaron nods and stands up from his chair, following Mark outside the room and a few feet away.
“No way.” You mutter. You can’t help but shake your head, watching the two of them talk without any context.
Emily smirks, “You’re trying to figure out what they’re saying.”
“Obviously.” You sit up taller, “And I’m making sure neither of them puts the other in a headlock.”
Rossi nearly chokes on his coffee and Morgan lets out a deep laugh. Aaron looks back toward the room at the noise and you immediately look down. You throw your pen at Rossi when he can’t hide his laugh and nearly blows your cover.
Out in the bullpen the noise inside the conference room faded. Aaron stood across from Mark for a silent moment before either of them speak.
“I owe you an apology.” Aaron admits.
Mark looks mildly surprised and it encourages him to continue.
“My behavior was unprofessional.”
“That’s one word for it.” Mark folds his arms on his chest.
He took that without argument. He deserved it.
Mark’s posture shifts, he leans back and lets out a short laugh.
“For what it’s worth, I probably would’ve done the same in your shoes.”
That caught Aaron off guard and Mark can’t help but grin at his expression.
“She has that effect on people.”
Aaron couldn’t deny that. Silence settles between them briefly and Mark looks toward the conference room where you’re sat arguing with Morgan.
“Treat her well.”
Aaron’s posture shifted. It was subtle, but instant. Mark noticed it.
“Yeah,” He says quietly, “I thought so.”
Aaron looks at him carefully and Mark looks back at him.
“You and I both know what it feels like to lose a woman like that.”
Aaron remains silent. He didn’t know what he could possibly say to that.
“When she called off the wedding I couldn’t even be angry with her.” Mark admits.
Aaron frowns and Mark laughs softly at himself.
“I tried to, believe me.”
“What happened?”
Mark looks down the distant hallway for a second before answering.
“She told me I deserved someone who loves me completely.”
Aaron goes very still.
“She said she knew the real thing and wouldn’t be my almost.”
The words land hard for Aaron because he understood immediately.
Mark smiles faintly without humor, “She was sincere about it too. That was the worst part.”
Aaron swallows once and shifts his weight.
“I’m sorry.”
Mark shrugs lightly, “She wasn’t wrong. She just realized it before I could.”
He looks back over toward your direction.
“I don’t know if anybody’s ever gonna measure up to her.”
Aaron follows his gaze to where you’re still talking with the team. It’s clear you’re arguing about something you’re passionate about. It’s the only time you get that wild look in your eye and a wry smile that hides your sharp tongue.
“But I’m still looking.”
Aaron looks back at him. Understanding had passed between them now. Mark extends his hand forward and Aaron meets it. Firm. Respectful.
Then Mark smirks, “Try not to make her homicidal.”
Aaron gives him a rare smile, “Easier said than done.”
The two of them walk back into the conference room and the entire team looks up. Everyone’s faces freeze, not expecting them to look like they were getting along. Was Aaron smiling?
“Well that was anticlimactic.” Derek sighs, spinning in his seat and bumping into your chair with his leg.
“Oh go find a door to kick in or something.” You roll your eyes, pushing Morgan’s seat away from yours.
Aaron snorts and not a single person in the room misses it.
Rossi points between the two men who are still standing side by side, “I was hoping for at least a shove.”
“You guys need help.” Aaron shakes his head.
Garcia gasps dramatically, “Did you two bond?”
“Oh god.” You groan. An actual nightmare.
Mark shakes his head with a light laugh, “This team spends way too much time together.”
“Occupational hazard.” Emily shrugs.
“So?” You turn your attention to the two men, “What did the two of you talk about?”
Your tone is teasing, but there’s a sliver of real curiosity.
“The case.” Aaron holds up his file.
“Liar.” You roll your eyes.
Mark smirks lightly and pats him on the shoulder, “Good luck with that, Hotchner.”
Your jaw drops, “Hey!”
“I’ve got to head up and brief the director.”
You get from your spot to say goodbye and he pulls you in for one last hug. This time Aaron watches it without visibly bristling.
“Take care of yourself.” He says over your shoulder, giving you one last squeeze before letting go.
“You too.”
Mark glances back toward Aaron behind you once before looking back at you.
“Try to go easy on him.” He gives you the smallest hint of a smirk.
You push him toward the door, “Get out of here.”
He shouts a couple goodbyes over your shoulder and you turn back to see all of the BAU team openly staring at you.
“What?”
Emily points at Aaron, “He didn’t even glare once.”
Aaron sighs, “Wheels up.”
-
The city skyline glowed orange against the early evening sky. Everyone looked wrecked in their wrinkled clothes and exhausted eyes. You’re coming up on twenty-four hours awake after working through the night and being in an explosion this morning. What a day.
JJ and Emily passed out almost immediately. Garcia was curled up, leaning on Morgan’s side with a movie playing on her laptop in front of them on the table. Reid and Rossi are talking quietly on the other side. You and Aaron ended up toward the back of the plane, the two seats facing each other.
Somehow that had become your spot on the way home. Wordlessly the two of you would take these seats the last few weeks.
You wince slightly when you accidentally bump your hairline. Aaron notices it right away.
“Still hurting?”
“Barely.”
He leans back in his seat and studies you quietly for a moment. The bruise near your temple was still darkening. The glass left you the large gash that needed stitches and several small scratches.
You catch him and you don’t even have to say the words. He knows he’s caught. The two of you let the hum of the jet settle around you. Minutes pass as Aaron works up the courage to ask a dangerous question in a confined space.
“Why didn’t you marry him?”
“Aaron, you already asked-“
“I know.”
You look up slowly because you know there’s no pretending with him. Aaron has always seen everything about you whether you wanted him to or not. He knows that you’ve been strict with dealing out information of your life for the past ten years. You lean back in your seat as you consider the question and giving him an answer longer than the couple of sentences that felt like muscle memory telling everyone else. He’d already heard that one and it would seem he wasn’t going to settle for that.
“Because he deserved better than almost.”
He stills for a second before swallowing, but he doesn’t say anything to stop you from continuing.
“I could’ve married him.” You admit, “But then I would’ve been you.”
The anger creeps in slightly, you can’t help it. He lets you continue, the pain flashing in his eyes.
“He’s a good man.” You look down at your hands.
“I know.” Aaron nods.
“And I care about him.” You look back up, “But… I knew what real love felt like.”
The words settle between you heavily. Aaron didn’t move or dare interrupt. Your voice is still calm, and almost too soft with his hearing right now, but he hangs on each word.
“I couldn’t stand in front of him and promise him forever knowing part of me would always compare it to something else.”
Aaron’s chest tightened before thundering so harshly the jet may as well be going down.
You let out a humorless laugh, “That sounds horrible saying it out loud.”
“No.” He answers quickly, “It sounds honest.”
You look over to the dark cabin.
“When I told him I couldn’t go through with the wedding I told him he deserved someone who could love him completely.”
Aaron remembered Mark saying almost the exact same thing earlier. You look back at him finally.
“I knew what big love felt like.”
You put it out there. It wasn’t subtle or hidden and you couldn’t take it back. Aaron swallows again, knowing you’re talking about him. You always had been. The confirmation warms his chest, he finally feels like he can breathe again.
“And once you know what that feels like…” You admit quietly, “everything else feels unfair.”
Silence takes over the corner of the cabin that the two of you occupy. The dim overhead lights glow just enough to reveal the expressions crossing Aaron’s face. You shake your head and turn toward the window.
“Y/n.”
You look back and he’s leaning forward, if he reached out he’d be touching you. Your chest tightens at how emotional he looks. No more walls.
“I’m sorry.”
Your brows furrow slightly but he holds your gaze steadily.
“For ever making you feel passing time.”
Your breath catches softly, “Aaron-”
“No.” He shakes his head, “You were right back then.”
Apparently when you said whatever was going on between you and needed to wait until after the case, he was taking that very literally.
“I never should’ve made you feel like that.” He lowers his voice slightly, “You were never just almost to me.”
Your throat tightens painfully.
“You are… everything to me.
He hesitates like saying it might be too dangerous. He can’t take this back either.
“You are my biggest love.”
He’s looking at you with an honesty so stripped bare it almost hurt.
“The standard nobody else has ever met. Not that I want anyone to.”
You blink a few times. The realization of what he’s admitting wrecks your composure for half a second. Aaron notices you soften.
“And I think you ruined me a little.” He continues.
An unexpected laugh escapes you, “A little?”
The corners of his mouth finally lift. You look down and shake your head to try and regain control of yourself. This is dangerous territory. Confessions at thirty thousand feet after surviving a bombing together.
It was very unhealthy. It was very you and Aaron.
You look back up eventually, his eyes still trained on you.
“This doesn’t magically fix everything.”
He nods, “I know.”
“I’m still angry.”
“I know.”
“And you’re still annoying.”
He tries to hide his surprised smile by wiping at his mouth.
“Also aware.”
You study him for a long moment.
“Thank you for finally saying it.”
He reaches out his hand to take yours and you let him. His hand is warm, maybe more callused than the last time you held it. Immediately his finger extends to your wrist. Your steady pulse is comforting to him, it’s something mindless he used to do back at the academy.
“Thank you for listening.”
You can’t help but grin and lean in, “If I change my mind tomorrow, I’m blaming the concussion.”
“You have a concussion?” Concern taking over his face, replacing the joy.
You nod, “Yeah, I think you were still hard of hearing when we established that. But, I have good news.”
“What’s that?”
“I need someone to keep me up all night long.”
an// eeee happy Friday my loves! but you guys are WE KIDDING??? the pure chaos of ALL of that. let me hear all the thoughts plz bc OMFG FINALLY
TAGLIST:
@mcfishy @gracesmusings @sw33t-cupid @hotchnerave @mentalcageswastedpotential @baileef2222 @badbye666 @notsochillnerd @himynameisthebau @lilithdame @claireelizabeth85 @toxicwasteee @caitlyn-who @tokalotashiz @yellowcandles @lonelyhourpoetry @dramioneforevertilltheend @paulithis @deafeningjellyfishninja @llamaproblem @red-streaks @lilasenrose @crazyandobsessed13 @minhyrin @kenz054 @bumbl3-b33z @aaronhotchnersbae-blog @slutforlongbottom