Explorations

34 f sensory sub. 21+ only. Indigenous and neurodivergent. Androromantic demisexual. Anchor-partnered, ethically non-monogamous by consent and context, not lifestyle. Relationship-oriented, trauma-informed, autonomy-respecting.

[emily8350]

the whole "agere purarinism anti ageplay littlespace crusade" is insane honestly

it’s very disheartening for sure. i completely respect people not wanting sexual content in their nonsexual spaces, but refusing to acknowledge that these communities are extremely similar, with neither being more “pure” than the other, is baffling to me.

10 years ago the term age play referred to both sexual/non sexual practices and it was pretty much agreed on that even non sexual age play was a demonstration of a kink dynamic. watching that change, and the ensuing puritanism has been strange and concerning.

[cruelskitten]

I apparently haven’t kept up with this particular “trend?” and I don’t wish to confuse anyone, so let me say this much: As a sensory sub, I’m curious about most forms of power exchange play, in a mutually agreed upon adult dynamic for a clearly defined period of time.

Sometimes that can look like I’m playing the role of:

Little

Middle

Pet

Kitten/cat

Doll

Toy

…and sometimes the sex is just plain kinky. So if you see something here that offends you or that you don’t vibe with, don’t yuck my (or anyone else’s) yum. Click “don’t show this post/blog” or even block me for your mental health and wellbeing. Then go on with your life.

Thank you for listening. I hope you learned something.

[wriscy]

doms who love how shy you get and purposely do things just to get a reaction out of you, making you whine and squirm, and you try to hide your face, but they just pin your hands out of the way so you have no choice but to look at them while they tell you how cute and adorable you are

[cruelskitten]

Saw a question that I’d like to answer without hijacking with a reblog:

“Are you ever repulsed by your desires?”

How complicated. I used to be. Hell, I was so brainwashed by Southern Baptist rhetoric and also dealing with significant undiagnosed medical conditions, that as a teenager, I was UTTERLY DISINTERESTED in sex. And then I was targeted and groomed by a narcissistic pedophile who ultimately raped me and then gaslit me about it.

Desire and sex and feeling hormonally horny were inherently repulsive to me. In my teens and early twenties.

Since then, I’ve come a looooong way. Years of unpacking that shit in therapy, of learning my body, of figuring out what makes me feel safe enough to experience and express my sexuality, and to then not judge myself for it afterwards.

I told a kinky friend and occasional Dom once that “there’s no point in denying your sexual desires unless you’re aiming for misery, even if you’re not happy about it.”

I’m thankful that I can now say “not as often anymore.” When my baseline was “ew, never?” That’s fucking progress. It’s nonlinear, it’s messy AF, and for me, I HAVE TO separate my trauma from my sexuality. Yes, one informed and shaped the other, but pathologizing my sexuality is further harm to me.

(DISCLAIMER: My experiences are not universal. My experiences are not unique. My coping mechanisms and what works for me are also neither universal nor unique. I’m not claiming anything beyond what works for me.)

So. I’m hormonal. Ovulation makes me horny AF. I have PMOS and endometriosis and chronic migraines and CPTSD and ADHD and probably undiagnosed autism. My endometriosis stole 5 years of my sex life, where online and cyber sex were my ONLY outlets. My PMOS means that my endo symptoms are not cyclical, and that my hormone cycle is often delayed or paused or nonfunctional for weeks or months at a time.

Sex, for me, is escapism. It’s a hard reset for my body and mind and energy. Every kink I have, every way I engage sexually, is with the goal or purpose of that reset in mind. That doesn’t mean every sexual encounter I have with someone else is necessarily goal oriented. I do enjoy sharing that time and space and energy with someone.

I’m also demisexual and sapiosexual and emotionally guarded. For me to trust the two men in my life, took each of them individually years of consistency, showing up emotionally, and proving to me that I as an individual was who they wanted. And even then, sometimes I question it 😅 because who THE FUCK would want me? But that’s the abuser’s voice in my head, and it gets quieter every day.

[cruelskitten]

Ok, so I’m definitely intoxicated but I’m low key obsessed with this mole on my thigh. Am I right? It’s totally kissable, yeah? 😘

[chamxmxle]

Reminder: if your partner safewords for any reason, first you stop, and then you thank them. You ask if they are okay, and you let them know they did a good job.

[chamxmxle]

I wrote this after someone replied, "why?" to a safeword, by the way. Don't do that.

[cruelskitten]

Gods damn, I’m hot in red velvet and black eyelash lace 🥵

[nerviswitch]

World BDSM day seems like a good time to remind you:

If the idea of being cuddled and kissed and doted on after a scene makes you want to crawl out of your skin, that doesn't mean you don't need aftercare, it might just mean that what aftercare looks like for you is being left alone for a little while.

Aftercare isn't one-size-fits-all. Maybe you need a snack. Maybe you want to watch a youtube video. Maybe you just need to have a calm conversation to debrief about the scene you just had. Or maybe you do want to snuggle.

Do what works for you, because doing aftercare you hate because you think that's what it's supposed to look like or skipping any aftercare to avoid a particular kind isn't going to work out well for anyone in the long run.

Also, while I'm here:

check on your dominants. They need aftercare just as much as subs do but we so often see aftercare framed as "dom-comforts-sub" that folks forget about that.

While I'm at it, safewording isn't just for the sub either, and it doesn't make you less of a dom to use it. In fact:

Safewording when you need to makes you a good play partner.

Any reason you feel like safewording is a good enough reason.

You aren't boring or less fun to play with for knowing your limits or having a lot of them. The fun part happens inside the bounds, and knowing where those lines are can only help you have a better scene.

[cruelskitten]

I’m dealing with a lot in my personal life and my usual sources of physical validation are currently unavailable so I’m taking a risk and posting an old selfie. If I get doxxed or harassed or find my face on AI porn, I will NEVER post myself on this blog again.

That said. Help a girl out. Tell me I’m pretty? Help me fight my anxiety spiral? That ugly voice in my head keeps telling me I’m too ugly, too fat, too heavy, too many freckles, etc etc to be pretty or beautiful or attractive. I know that’s not the truth but I can’t shut it up today on my own.

[roughribo]

Collar leashed to my belt loop so she can't go far. Collar attached to my belt loop with a carabiner so she can't go anywhere or think of anything else, the loss of mobility and the scent of me is too overpowering.

[narcissistichedonist]

edging is just self-control. discipline. restraint. it's good for you, really. makes you stronger, sharpens your focus, teaches you patience

holding it just a little longer, pushing through the ache, ignoring the way your body shakes. it’s character-building. it’s admirable

besides, you don’t need to cum. you need to be good. you need to listen. you need to prove that you can handle it

so take a deep breath. settle in. hold it for me. again. and again. and again

because edging yourself silly is good for you

pinky promise

[cruelskitten]

Bratting like consensually pushing his buttons until he consensually snaps and goes feral on my luscious ass, fucking me hard and deep and rough because we both need it

[whinysushi]

No matter how innocently I cuddle up to you, always remember that I'm a teasing little spoon with ulterior motives

[cruelskitten]

Thinking about a sub, switch, dom scene. The sub has an oral fixation and gets rewarded with a session to suck off the switch until she’s sated. The switch is being punished with wearing a chastity cage to keep him small for the whole thing. The dom is orchestrating and watching the scene they set unfold. Praising her for doing such a great job of milking him through the cage. Taunting him with how torturous it must feel to be milked in her mouth and unable to grow down her throat the way he’s used to.

[thesoftestler]

Yes!

Yes, I can hold your hand while we session!

Yes, I can tie you up!

Yes, you can be unrestrained!

Yes, you can keep your clothes on!

Yes, you can take them off!

Yes, I'll praise you!

Yes, I'll make sure I get that spot!

Yes, we can do fingers only!

Yes, we can use tools, what would you like?

Yes, you can have a break!

Yes, please get a drink!

Yes, you can safeword!

Yes, we can slow down!

Yes, I can tease you!

Yes, you can cuddle into me while I tickle!

Yes, it's okay if you scream and beg!

Yes, it's okay if you're quiet and just squirm!

Yes, we can cuddle after!

Yes, we can meet for coffee before!

Yes, we can get food after!

Yes, I can talk you through every step!

Yes, I can surprise you!

Yes, you can wear a blindfold!

Yes, you can be facedown!

Yes, we can focus on just the one spot!

Yes, I can tickle you everywhere!

My job as a ler is to make the session safe and comfortable for YOU, to meet your needs and make sure you have a good time. I don't lee, and I won't bully or torture you. As long as its playful, fun and kind, the rest is up to you 😘

[elizamidnight]

Oh...please master...I'm sorry! Just let me cum~ I need it so much!

I'm sorry I teased you so much~ Please...I need it~

It tickles...it aches...please master...please let me cum!!

[dariaswetdreams]

I’ve had dreams of someone doing this to me for years

[cruelskitten]

“I know you’re focused on the conversation right now but I need you to try to eat more for me, ok?”

🥵🤯🥰

[sleepiestkentokisser]

no because getting pulled into his lap and kissed all over 😔 your little giggles only encouraging him. 😔😔 his praises murmured between each peck, the way he makes it a game to see how flustered he can make you 😔😔😔 one firm hand on your hip while his other cradles the side of your face so he can angle you how he likes while he attacks your neck with kisses 😔😔😔😔 licking along your collarbone and enjoying the way you start to squirm, your giggles going quiet 😔😔😔😔😔