lypophrenia

there is a itching in the back of your throat, a prickle in your heart and you can't explain the vague feeling of sadness seemingly without cause

[crlianna-blog]

🌊 @crxisla : starter call prompt: puffin

whenever someone mentions anything animal related, it always sparked up her interest. she enjoys learning about animals as much as she enjoys teaching others about them. lianna purses her lips slightly as she listens to her friend talking about puffins. quickly searching up the animal on her owlphone, she shows her the picture.

“do you mean this cute animal?” she smiles slightly at her. “or do you mean something else that…. i have never heard before?”

[crxisla-blog]

❝ -- have you seen a puffin before? ❞ isla inquires, eyes wide with curiosity. it was amazing how quickly the other managed to pull up the bird even though she had been quite vague in her descriptor. it was a hard bird to describe anyways, a fish version of a toucan was all she could really think of at that point.

❝ -- that is indeed the bird i was talking about. i was curious about it because it seems so unique. ❞

[crxisla-blog]

μανία ταξίδιων

[crxisla-blog]

crdamn‌:

The breeze feels nice on his skin and he is content to remain silent while the Slytherin girl who’s near him gathers her thoughts. He’s leaning against the stone wall, head tilted backward and eyes closed when the first words leave the girl’s mouth. He hums softly and straightens up, opening his eyes to throw a glance at her.

“I do,” he says before sighing and stretching his arms in front of himself. “It’s a tempting thought and one that may take roots in one’s mind for a lot of different reasons. Some are longing for freedom, away from the chains that are tying them to a place they do not like, others want to disappear, some may just want a new start.” He pauses, but keeps looking at Isla.

“Tell me, how do you think the family member would complicate things?” He was interested to hear her reason for saying that, her thoughts. “Is it that you are afraid you leaving would hurt them? Or are you afraid they will be able to find you no matter how far away you go?”

in a house of serpents, damien mei is the older figure she has quietly always been seeking but never been able to find. when isla was younger, after her father had discarded her and her mother had made her wonder if the price of living was truly worth it, she had thought she wanted to be coddled. but that was just running away, isla needed to grow stronger.

but it wouldn’t ever be something she could do alone. she listens to the other slytherin attentively, latching onto each word as if they carried infinite weight.s ome would. some wouldn’t. the decision isn’t quite isla’s to make. not until the time comes for it.

damien’s question causes her to pause. if she were to live in another world, with another family then maybe the answer that immediately springs to mid might have been different. isla keeps her gaze outwards as she answers him. ❝ -- in my case, i think i would be found in no time. i apparently carry too much value to be set free. ❞

she sadly chuckles ❝ -- so i will be hunted down the moment i do something irregular. and my mother’s terrible with this whole giving up thing. useful when you’re lost but not when you purposely want to be gone. ❞

isla finally shifts her gaze away over to him. ❝ -- and you? what about you? would leaving not be something hard for you to do when you have a sibling? or am i only thinking that because i’m the only child.❞

[crvince-blog]

whisper it to me.

[crxisla-blog]

crxlottie:

    with each step that the three of them took, she could feel her discomfort seeming to grow more and more. she was never one for confrontations, hated bringing up anything negative and tends to avoid talking about herself as much as possible. a task like this that would effectively take away all the control she had upon the situation, where she didn’t know what sort of things about her would manifest was really not something she wanted to spend her day doing. 

    she could barely hear him speak over the beating of her heart, but she nods along anyways. she didn’t want to do this with them, but she certainly didn’t want to do it alone. she just didn’t want to do it at all. 

    nervously, she reaches her shaking hand out, grasping onto the hand that was closest to her, her best friend, finding comfort in the physical touch of other as she takes a few deep breath. her fingers squeezing the other’s hand gently as she glances over at the other girl, her lips straining as she tugs them upwards ever so slightly. 

    “okay,” she murmurs softly, “we’re almost there, we can do this,” she says, reassuring herself more so than for the benefit of those around her. 

isla would be damned if she went and damned if she didn’t. this is what people mean when they insist god has forsaken them. it’s cruel, of both the current teachers and the hogwarts staff too, to believe that they could work through this.

only negative emotions only. it’s laughable how light-hearted they attempt to word the task, as if the students of hogwarts carried impatient young adult woes. or maybe by some chance, most of them did. but isla yuk didn’t. she carried too much and the last thing she wanted as for them to be all forced out into the open.

isla scrunches her eyes shut tightly for a few seconds in prayer that the flower would be kind to them and fail to notice them. lottie must be thinking the same thing, isla conjectures when she feels a shaky hand find hers and squeeze it. they are not alone because they have each other, so she squeezes back, but she also knows that they are so alone in their own vulnerabilities.all of them. the calm and collected vincent included.

❝ -- we’re here, ❞ isla murmurs in relief when she spots the abundance of flowers. wanting to get it done as soon as possible, she breaks herself from the other two. a bad mistake. it all seems calm as first, but then the fog comes trickling in and suddenly she is staring at herself.

❝ -- mother loves you dearly. ❞ it chides mockingly.

isla doesn’t respond, doesn’t even spare another glance as she runs back to the other two. ❝ -- we have to go. please. ❞

but the thick fog won’t let them escape that easily.

[crxisla-blog]

“ it’s okay. you can tell me.”

INTERROGATION STARTERS (not accepting)

❝ -- is the vincent ko showing me kindness? ❞ isla murmurs, trying to sound as if she’s teasing but exhaustion easily appears in her voice instead to take over. it’s been a long day of crawling into the back of the mind, the only safe space she can have away from the iron maiden her mother seems to adore trapping her in. she seeks peace ever the more now, ready for the habitual silence that is only allowed to be broken by a select few.

vincent ko as not supposed to be part of this. but from how her heart eases at his words, she knows she’s spell bound by him. isla leans her head forward to let forehead knock against his broad shoulder.

❝ -- don’t do that. you can’t do that. ❞

[crxisla-blog]

“ it’s okay if you don’t want to talk about it. but it really would help if you did.”

INTERROGATION STARTERS (not accepting)

❝ – are you sure it’ll help? are you truly, positively, sure it’ll help? help me? ❞

for once, isla cannot keep the calmness in her. it’s panic which flashes in her eyes as she lunges forward, hands gripping the ravenclaw girl’s wrists tightly. it takes a second to remind herself that she may be hurting lianna. another second to remind herself this is what mother once did and she lets go, gluing her hands back to her side while gazing far away.

❝ – sorry i’m juust tired. lt me go rest, we can continue the discussion tomorrow. please? ❞

though in her mind, isla’s already planned to shut and lock this door of hers forever.

[crvince-blog]

⭐️,📱,🍵,👏

「 ᴀɴ ᴏᴡʟ ꜰᴏʀ ʏᴏᴜ 」

It’s summer, with it comes the revealing of more skin in order to fend off the heat. Isla has no visible scars, her mother made sure of that but when Vincent looks into her eyes he knows where they should be. Pretending to be absentminded, sometimes he rubs the patches of skin where the scars should be as if he is tracing something invisible. It’s a gesture of comfort. He doesn’t know if she’s caught on.

❝ isla, i apologize for calling so late. you are probably asleep but i was wondering. actually. never mind. it’s simply a menial thought. forget this discussion even started. ❞ a rare quiet chuckle echoes through the crackle of the phone. ❝ i hope to see you in the morning, if not then sometimes tomorrow. good night…and sweet dreams. ❞

❝ this was around… thirteen years ago. there was this young boy who was attending a pureblood dinner. given his weak body, this was something rare and he was excited about the food. he met a few people because his mother asked him to. one girl, this little girl was nudged forward by her mother over to him and all the excitement he had vanished at that moment. he knew his mother had seen it too, but she was keeping silent for some reason he didn’t understand. the sad girl before him…she looked so tired. and you could see how she shivered occasionally and would steal glances to the side where her mother stood. it’s fear. and he knew why it was there because he saw her memories the moment their eyes met. but he turned a blind eye to it because that’s what his mother did. because he was scared. didn’t want to upset things here. the girl disappears eventually. thirteen years later, the boy stares into the familiar brown irises and he feels something he hasn’t in a while. regret. ❞

❝ did you have too much to drink my dear fiancee? ❞ mirth coats vincent’s tongue as he speaks. he knows they are both sober, no traces of alcohol in either of their systems. but the request is so unusual he cannot help but wonder who planted the seed into her mind. the slytherin wasn’t about to refuse though, backing down was never his characteristic.

❝ if you insist it can be anything… ❞ with liquid smoothness he takes a step closer. then another. how her eyes waver with each step he does take, cheeks darkening, but perhaps stubbornness is what keeps her from telling him to stop. another step && the two of them would certainly be pressed together.

however, that’s not what he wants. that’s what she may expect, but he suddenly sweeps his head down instead until mouth floats a few centimeters from her right ear. tentatively, an index finger carefully strokes away a few strands of hair as he whispers sweetly, ❝ tell me did i fulfill your wish isla yuk? ❞

[crvince-blog]

she blames it on the coolness of the new zealand air, bringing a new lightness to her mind. "vincent, if there is, by any chance, someone you are fond of. i certainly wouldn't be hurt. i just want to know." but what is this gnawing feeling?

if the flurry of these words fell upon him another time. another place, then perhaps vincent would’ve responded with a parroting quip. a nod to his childhood friends that sewed ost of his memories into his brain. however, that is not what she beckons with her statement. he can tell from the fire in her eyes && how for once her mind remains unguarded, on purpose.

they dance on the brink of honesty, but neither of them can quite fall into it in their own fear.

❝ fond of, ❞ vincent echoes, the peculiar choice of words which lunged from her tongue easily capturing his attention. it betrays her emotions with the curtness && pause. he dares at this moment to inch a simple hand forward, a thumb caressing her cheekbone. not because it’s the right thing to do, but because he needs to. since he cannot say it.

yet though she is in front of him, his mind wanders too just as hers does. to the same direction. to a house of a gentle badger, a girl there who reminds him of the lilies of the valleys. a flower able to grow among the shadows though delicacy may be the first thing to come to mind with a simple glance.

vincent had slipped on this path by accident && it was too late to stroll away without repercussion.

so he can’t answer her completely && she knows it too.

[crxisla-blog]

“ except what you’re telling me doesn’t align with what we already know.”

INTERROGATION STARTERS (accepting)

❝ -- are you positive about that dear?❞

it’s a rare moment where isla looks less serious and more playful. she’s not intending to play a mind game but rowan looks so cute in her seriousness and mix of confusion that the slytherin can’t help but push a bit of buttons. ❝ -- how do you know what you think you know? after all we received all the information second hand. so how can you trust what mitsue said earlier? you should trust me.❞

[crxisla-blog]

“ what aren’t you telling me?”

INTERROGATION STARTERS (accepting)

many things. isla bites the bottom of her lips before she can confess all her worries to him and possibly worry him as well. it’s been an extraordinarily long year for her and to think that it would only be longer in the upcoming years. dreadful. but isla’s survived long enough and she will be able to survive again she’s sure of it.

❝ -- i decided i am going to go travelling before the school trip,❞ isla responds with a smile as if nothing was wrong with her thoughts. she pretends there’s no heavy baggage on her shoulder since denial is a better friend than the truth. ❝ -- would you like to join me for a bit?❞

[crxisla-blog]

hi everyone due to a lack of icons i will be changing faceclaims from hana of gugudan to jiu of dreamcatcher! for a certain short girlfriend trio trend but her height will remain the same as shin bora for specific reasons! this is important!!!

[crxisla-blog]

βρέχει

apparently as isla comes to learn the moment she steps off the airplane, not all parts of canada snow during the winter. rowan’s home city is a reflection of the london gray instead. somber, overcast with a drizzle that intends to put a damper on her mood. but it doesn’t. isla does not think that anything could shake her core as much as her mother’s words upon hearing that sh intended to stay over at a dirty half-blood’s family for the winter holidays.

a useless child who ran right into the mouth of a beast, her mother had said but isla thinks that the sharp canine she sees fitted with leering eyes ready to ravage all belonged to her mother. someone who almost thought of kidnapping her own daughter if it meant breaking her back home, a veiled threat sprouted during a phone call. the mildest of threats now that isla thinks back, among many other things she had said.

the success story come with blackmail. she feels a bit disgusting as if isla’s lowered herself to her mother’s level when she turns the waiting chauffeur away with a heavily guarded secret.she doesn’t let rowan know that.

❝ -- it’s as if the weather knew we wished to head out today, ❞ isla comments, watching through the car window as they pass by a sandy beach decked with big logs for makeshift seats. ❝ -- you never did say where we’re going exactly. i do recall something about a long walk. ❞

@crcwan

[coruscorp-blog]

INTERROGATION STARTERS

Feel free to change pronouns etc. CALM / QUESTIONING.

“ tell me, what happened?” “ did you see anything?” “ what do you remember?” “ do you remember anything unusual?” “ please, try to remember as much as you can.” “ every detail is important.” “ and what happened next?” “ and what did you do when all this took place?” “ what were you doing around __ am/pm?” “ where were you around __ am/pm?” “ can anyone verify that?” “ was someone with you?” “ and you had nothing to do with it?” “ and you weren’t involved?” “ did you see it happen?” “ did you see who did it?” “ did you see or hear anything? anything at all?”

CARING / UNDERSTANDING.

“ you seem scared… is that why you don’t want to talk?” “ did someone hurt you?” “ it’s okay. you can tell me.” “ you were just trying to defend yourself, weren’t you?” “ we can take a break, if you want.” “ everything will be okay, i promise. but you need to talk to me.” “ it’s okay if you don’t want to talk about it. but it really would help if you did.”

SUSPICIOUS.

“ there is something you’re not telling me.” “ i think you’re lying.” “ you looked away just now when you said that. are you sure you’re telling the truth?” “ except what you’re telling me doesn’t align with what we already know.” “ seems to me like you know more than you’re letting in on.” “ what aren’t you telling me?” “ who are you trying to protect?” “ so you really don’t know what any of it means? no clue at all?” “ they must’ve told you more than that.” “ you have to have seen more than that.” “ and you want me to believe you don’t remember?” “ and you want me to believe you had nothing to do with it?” “ an accident? is that what you’re going with?”

DEMANDING.

“ i need you to tell me the truth.” “ i need you to tell me what happened.” “ i know you’re not telling me the truth.” “ that doesn’t line up with the evidence. so… you wanna try that again?” “ stop lying. i already know that’s not what happened.”

MAKING A DEAL / ASKING FOR HELP / DEMANDING HELP.

“ what do you want in exchange for this information?” “ i’m listening…” “ you’re coming with me.” “ since you’re the only one who knows how to find them, i don’t really have a choice but to take you with me.” “ fine. i’ll take you with me, but if you try anything…” “ i can’t give you that. you know that.” “ if we’re going to make a deal, you’re gonna have to ask for something a little more rational than that.” “ okay. we have a deal.” “ sorry. no deal.”

[crxisla-blog]

μούσα

if there was a way to speak to the departed, sometimes isla would love to inquire between both muggle and magic artists, how inspiration would strike. her creative muse seems to be the shyest one, instantly vanishing the moment it sensed a weight on her shoulders. but in all its irony, isla’s only interested in painting when she wishes to find a reason to depart from reality. painting is her sanctuary, a moment to mediate in the mind away from the troubles of life.

at least she’s not alone this time around. her company lies in the charms of a younger slytherin who wields her own interest in yarn instead of the familiar paint brush or pencil. but the basis is similar. a search for a muse, a focal point for their creation. something that should sound incredibly simple but retains such a high difficulty.

❝ -- do you ever wonder, ❞ isla begins as she looks away from the sketch she is attempting to create. a rough draft for something later while the girl beside her works away at her own thing. ❝ -- if finding an actual living inspiration would work better than simply staring at pictures. do you think we would do better if we walk around outside? ❞

@crxjimmy

[crxcole-blog]

A fool’s curse

Starter for @crxisla

It wasn’t unusual to hear strange conversations in a school for witches and wizards. Well, the level of strangeness depended on whether you grew up surrounded by magic or not, but even then…Since arriving at Hogwarts, Cole had heard other students talking about their family lives, house elves, some crazy spells gone wrong, special shops, mysterious phenomena and more. He’d sometimes linger so he could hear more, without making it obvious that he was listening. This time though, he couldn’t help but make his presence known.

There was a very beautiful girl talking with someone about something dangerous in their own school. How could his interest not be piqued? He pretended to be searching for something in his pockets, so it wouldn’t be too obvious that he was trying to learn more about this. The girl continued talking, mentioning a special corridor no too far from the charms class and how it was apparently cursed. Cole’s eyes automatically widened. How was there a cursed corridor near the charms class and he had never heard of it until now?

As if that wasn’t enough, the girl mentioned that the corridor was not that big of a deal and that’s when he interrupted the conversation. “Not that big a deal?” he repeats as he steps closer to the other students. “You just said the place was cursed! How is that not a big deal?”

[crxisla-blog]

the whispers begin like most do, somewhere unknown and quietly. but as time passes by everything gains momentum until even the butterfly’s slow fluttering of a wing can cause a hurricane on the other side. like this the rumors of the cursed hallway which soon came to catch the slytherin’s attention no longer just a small thought but a roaring revelation.

maybe it was in isla’s best interest not to have mentioned the unfolding false stories. but her intention had been to ridicule the rumor. hogwarts is a place of magic, her entire world has been magic the moment she stepped out of this world. but magic did not mean the impossible. it had a limit.

some people apparently didn’t agree with that. isla could count on it being a gryffindor, it’s always the people of red and yellow to be the ones to charge head first into stupidity. usually, isla would just let them be. she wasn’t going to dirty her hands over people she wouldn’t remember in a few hours.

except this one was caused by her. accidentally. but still her. he hadn’t said he was going to go but in isla’s years at hogwarts she knew how to read expressions well. that expression he had with his outcry meant a bad idea was coming.

she was going to crush it. she had to.

❝ -- it’s just a rumor dear gryffindor. you shouldn’t fancy yourself with them...and if it was real, ❞ isla turns to him, folding her arms across her chest.❝ -- you shouldn’t go. it’s called cursed for a good reason. ❞

[crxisla-blog]

ἀποκάλυψις

@wescrx

    his heart was beating fast against his chest as he waited for her at the usual spot. the spot where everything happened and everything ended. it was always him who waited, waited until she arrived like the calm before a storm, mind always brewing, but never shows. maybe it was this about her that had intrigued him all those years ago. as calm as ever, she now approaches him and he holds out the bouquet of flowers to her, in the spot where everything happened and everything ended. 

    if anyone were to have taken snapshots of the two of them over the years and overlayed each image one on top of the other, they would notice that nothing ever changed. only the steady shifting of the seasons would be the proof that time even moved for the two of them. it was always the same. the two of standing still face to face, only mere steps away from each one another.. yet the distance always felt so much further. she was always unreachable. 

    maybe if wes had realized the thing that stood in their way before was so easy to fix, things would not have ended the way they did. had he tried harder to save her before, would they still be together? but now… equipped with the means to save her, to free her, he wanted to make sure that happened between them before would be something she’d never have to experience again. 

    “it’s uncanny how beautiful you can still look even when the whole world is going up in flame like this, dear isla,” he greets her, his tone always playful, ever so playful when it came to her, “but doesn’t this world also feel so… suffocating to you? there’s just not enough love." 

    ( give her my love, sweet wes. ) 

    at mother’s beckoning, wes takes a step forward, closing the distance between them that always seemed to foreboding to him, one he always felt so powerless against, but not anymore. not now when he had plunged the dagger into her chest, unblinking as he gazed into her eyes which shimmered with obvious pain. pain that he knew would subside and her world would then be filled with love, mother’s love. 

    he liked this spot, the spot where everything happened, where everything ended. where he had ended her suffering for her. 

    "isla, i’m sorry,” he murmurs softly, caressing her cheeks gently with his hands as teared brimmed in his eyes, “i’m sorry i wasn’t able to love you enough before, i’m sorry i couldn’t protect you… now though, now mother will love you. mother will love you so much, isla." 

there are many unsteady factors in isla’s life caused by the chaotic temperance of her mother. but wes had always been an anomaly to the constant spinning pinwheel, a chrysalis encased untouched by her mother’s stained finger now. isla had once attempted when juvenile essence still gripped the two of them. a foolish girl thought she could sneak in a relationship with a halfblood away from mother’s all-seeing eye. there was no such thing as being way, she unfortunately comes to learn once again the familiar taste of frustration and despair.

with it, isla also comes to learn how to build herself away from it all. find a loophole in the unexpected. though the slytherin’s heart no longer beat quickly around the gryffindor, she’s gained a lifetime friend. he knows her well and she understands him. for a girl who has never had many choices, it was something important. he was her hope.

isla’s false hope. they had landed in an unfortunate timeline. busy creating notes for an upcoming exam, isla had failed to thoroughly read the details in the announcement. a few words had flickered through. a dagger. a curse. danger. she should be fearful, but it’s almost child’s play for a girl whose own parents had tried to force her into eternal sleep so often.

she should have paid more attention earlier. eagerness is replaced by an alertness, the hem of her ruffling skirt brushing against her calves as isla comes to a halting stop. she knows what he’s like. isla knows his present life with her roommate and she hears snippets from her darling gryffindor friend. she knows things about him that don’t reflect what he’s like around her. it should be kept like that.

not this.

“yes wes...i suppose,” isla words herself carefully as mistrust enters her features, fingers fidgeting against the bouquest placed on her stomach that she had taken from him. the scent is so sweet. it drowns out her nose.

and he in turn drowns isla in red a second later. there is no pain, no nerves around the heart but there is something sticky and warm spreading across her chest. some splatter down on the bouquet which has now dropped to the ground left to be forgotten.

( hello there my sweet child, mother is here for you. )

❝ -- no! no, no, no, no, no! ❞ wes is saying something to her but isla can’t register it as panic settles into her being the moment a familiar feeling creeps over her. except stronger, reminding her of her feeble position.

she drops to the ground, clutching her head as painfully familiar words infiltrate her mind. numbing her. controlling her.

( what’s wrong my dearest? mother can help. )

her mind flickers to a distancing memory of the same exact words being spoken to her. there’s a hand, her hand, reaching out. but then there’s more pain. so much pain, a cry for help. but is this cry coming from her? or from little isla who trusted her mother and got burnt in return?

( you’re one and the same. )

on cue, her hands let go of her head and she slowly stares up at wes between tear filled eyes. slowly she stands up and reaches out forward to grab his hands carefully and shake them. it is interesting how the floral scent of earlier is replaced with iron.

( one and the same. )

❝ -- yes mother is here now. ❞

[crxisla-blog]

crxlottie:

a sense of triumph washes over the other girl as she notices the fleeting crimson color upon her best friend’s cheeks. it was the reaction that she had been looking from the other and was pleased that it was the one she had garnered with her comment. 

“is that so?” she muses softly, her mind flipping over the words spoken by her friend over and over again. her mind trying to wrap itself around the idea of ‘secrecy’ in her art, as it was never something she had ever thought of doing, “i guess we’re different in that sense since i always want to capture the beauty of the subject as a whole in my work,” she finally adds, the color in her cheeks returning once again, knowing that they were still talking about the same subject even now. 

“caught would be a word used when one is trying to hide something, as i had naively showcased my work in such a blatant manner, it would seem that it was noticed rather than caught… fortunately, however, he has not brought it up,” she responds, as the embarrassment about the whole situation coming back and she ends up hugging her legs to her body, hiding her face in her knees, “oh, isla, what should i do if he does inquire?” she laments quietly, seeking comfort from her best friend over her own stupidity. 

if isla were to be able to describe charlotte to someone, she would describe her best friend as a single chime that rings through a clear sunny day. or an aquamarine lake unblemished by any ripples. calming, soothing the hufflepuff is a safety net for the withdrawn slytherin. however, that did not mean tranquility cannot be broken. 

a chime can ring more than once. water slowly stirred and it is in isla's nature to lightly banter with her friend.

❝ -- would you like him to bring it up? i believe it is already quite a feat for the ice prince tonotice, ❞ isla is jesting but a part of her wishes to sigh. she swallows it up however, before she is caught by her friend. it's nothing strange, not  as if eyes haven't noticed once in a while the coquettish flock which surrounds him. but everything is different now, no longer strangers she wonders if she can quietly request for hazel eyes to become more selective.

❝ -- i suppose you can say i insisted you posted it. if you wish to keep your reasoning a secret that is, ❞ the slytherin offers, knowing that the response would certainly fail to surprise the mind-reading boy. she can only begin to wonder what he has seen from her. ❝ -- using the beloved friend to woo the heart. sounds like quite the storyline does it not? ❞

[crxisla-blog]

My beautiful princess how I have spent so many sleepless nights wondering where you have been. I guess beauties like you must come from another planet?

❝ – dear one, i highly do not recommend losing sleep over someone like me. especially when i know nothing of you, i am certainly not worthy of your time. but i will let you know that i am nothing but human.❞