My pronouns are she/her, i'm a Leo and an infp! I regress anywhere from 1 - 7 !!! My personal agere blog is @protectmyinfancy and my personal non-agere centric blog is @butterfliesturningtodust
The masterlist for my Yellowjackets au, safe and sound aka my biggest pride and joy on this app.
(Currently only taking requests for yellowjackets and The Pitt) I take requests for fics, moodboards and hcs for any of my fandoms which you can findĀ hereĀ you can also find my fic request requirementsĀ here. I also love getting to know other people's thoughts and hcs for characters so please feel free to reach out so we can talk about them!!
Oh no sheās writing self indulgent lottienat again whoās shocked?
Cw: self harm, harm reduction, scars, burns, first aid
Please donāt read this if it will be triggering. I wrote this to try silence some pretty strong urges of my own and wanted to share it incase anyone else could find comfort in it <3
Lottie was drying the dinner dishes, the kitchen dimly lit and quiet, when she heard soft footsteps behind her. She turned, expecting a restless littleā¦ or big, sleep was equally as elusive in their house. Nat was standing in the entryway, fists clenched by her side, chest rising and falling in rapid motion. āBaby?ā Lottie urged gently, drying her hands and discarding the hand towel on the bench. āAre you ok?ā
Lottie approached Nat slowly, reaching out to hold her shoulders. Natās head was turned away, dropped to hide her eyes from Lottie.
āSorry Mummy,ā she whispered, body trembling as she spoke.
Lottieās heart ached. Sorry? She couldnāt think of a single thing in the world Nat would ever need to be sorry for. She crouched down, meeting Natās now watery eyes. āWhy are you sorry baby?ā She cooed, bringing a hand up to cup Natās cheek. Nat shifted anxiously, searching for her words.
āD-did bad,ā she paused, taking a deep breath. āNeed help.ā
There was only one thing that Nat ever admitted needing help for. The one thing that was just too much for her regressed mind to face alone. Lottieās heart sank. āOk, ok thank you for getting me.ā She pulled the regressed girl in tightly, rubbing wide circles into Natās back. āCome on, Mummy can fix it up.ā Lottie had to force herself to pull away, wanting nothing more than to hold Nat but knowing she had to put safety first.
She took Nat by the hand, gently leading her to the downstairs bathroom. It was the one dedicated for moments like this - with all the supplies that no one wanted to look at if they didnāt have to. The light was too bright, and the cold tiles permeated through the bottoms of their socks. It was a rehearsed enough routine. Harm reduction, Lottie had to repeat to herself. Thatās what Natās therapist had called it - which was hard to recon with. But they all knew the alternatives were all worse. So Lottie swallowed her own whirlpool of emotions and guided Nat to sit on the closed toilet seat. Nat was crying now, tears rolling down her flushed cheeks. The gentleness in Lottie had finally brought her emotions tumbling out. āCan you show me where Ducky?ā Lottie asked, keeping her attention fully on Nat. It was warm and steady and masked the nausea waving through her body. Nat nodded, swiping at her damp cheeks with the sleeve of her pajamas.
The little shuffled a little, tugging her pajama pants down to her knees, revealing three pink welts on her upper thigh. Lottie sucked in a breath, her shaky hand coming up to rest on the warm, scarred skin next to them. āOk.ā
Lottie opened up the locked cabinet and retrieved the box which was set aside especially for Nat. Dark blue with a lid and star stickers on the front. Theyād decorated it together, trying to make the idea of asking for help easier and safer for Nat. She opened the box, setting it on the floor and kneeling down in front of Nat. She pulled out a blue glittery water snake and a small green stringy ball and offered them both to Nat - something for her to focus on other than what Lottie had to do now. Nat took the water snake, letting it slip back and forth in her hands.
Now it was on to the really hard part - Lottie steadied herself, putting on a pair of dark blue gloves. She took out a tube of burnaid next, twisting the cap off. āTell me if this hurts, ok?ā Nat nodded - not looking.
Lottie narrated the whole process quietly, so Nat knew what was happening and didnāt get scared by any of it. Once Natās leg was bandaged Lottie tidied up the bathroom. āCheck in?ā She asked gently, stroking Natās hair. āHow old are you feeling?ā
Nat held up three fingers, Lottie cooed.
āHow much does it hurt?ā
Nat pressed her fingers close together - ālittle bitā.
āDo you want a hug?ā Nat stood up immediately, pressing her face into Lottieās chest. Lottie wrapped her arms around her tightly, needing this just as much as Nat did. āI love you so much Baby. Thank you for trusting me with this.ā
Hey Adi could you please do me a little drabble of Taivan being caregivers for Little! Lottie while Natās out hunting. Specifically Lottie gets scared because of Shauna and Mari arguing so she runs off. Taivan are panicking because they canāt find Lottie in any of her usual hiding places and Nat comes back is then ofc worried as well. They eventually find a teary Lottie whoās very happy to see her mama.
Hope youāre doing ok Adi š«¶š»š
Yes absolutely!! And thank you, I hope you are doing well sweet friend!! Sorry this is a bit all over the place but i hope you enjoy it <3
Tai was exhausted. Having hardly slept all night, and then spending her morning breaking up an argument between Shauna and Mari - she really couldnāt think of anything worse than Van running up to her saying Lottie was gone. āWhat do you mean gone?ā She asked, dropping her axe against the wood sheād been chopping.
āI mean gone, Tai. Not in the cabin, not behind the meat shed. I canāt find her.ā
āDid you check by the stream?ā Tai clarified, certain that Lottie never strayed much further than that.
āOf course i did.ā If Lottie had been feeling big that day, it wouldnāt have been an issue. She had enough awareness to get around the woods on her own. But last either of them had seen Lottie she was pretty small.
After another check of the cabin, worry really set in. āLottie!ā They both called out, desperation increasing as the sun began to lower in the sky. No luck. everyone had began returning to the cabin for dinner but Lottie didnāt return with any of them. They felt terrible. They were the two who took primary care of Lottie while Nat was out hunting, and theyād managed to lose her. Who could even imagine the awful things that could happen to a little alone out in the woods? Especially Lottie who was prone to becoming spacey and forgetful.
When Nat and Travis returned from their day, lugging geese over their shoulders, the panic was immediately clear on Tai and Vanās faces. āWhat happened now?ā Nat asked - exasperated and expecting nothing more than a harmless continuation of this morningās squabbles. āWe canāt find Lottie.ā
āShit.ā
A full search party launched then, Natās protective instincts over Lottie going wild at the thought of her little one in trouble.
It was Nat who ended up finding Lottie, further past the stream than they could have ever expected her to be. She was curled on a mossy patch of dirt under a tree - seemingly in one piece. āMama!ā She cried out, reaching for Nat the moment she saw her.
āOh baby,ā Nat instantly scooped Lottie up - disregarding the strain in her back as she held the little close. Lottie sniffled, pressing her face into Natās shoulder desperately. āWhat happened?ā
Lottie looked up at Nat - wide doe eyes finally slipping into a comforting headspace now she felt safe. āLost,ā she whispered - small enough that she couldnāt manage any more words.
āYeah, I realised that Lot.ā Nat kissed her cheeks, so relieved Lottie was ok. āMama was so worried. Auntie Tai and Bubby too,ā Lottie scrunched up her face apologetically and pat Natās chest.
āSor-rey Mama.ā Nat bounced Lottie a little, just holding her tight.
āItās ok Fawn, but you canāt run off like that ok? Itās not safe for a little one like you to be alone like that.ā Nat explained as they started the trek home to the cabin.
Tai and Van were anxiously waiting out the front, visibly relaxing when they saw Nat and Lottie. āOh thank god,ā Van exclaimed as they both rushed to greet the little. Lottie squirmed in Natās arms - reaching for Van who took her instantly, as Tai began fussing over every inch of her body for any injury.
āWe were so worried Baby,ā Tai sighed, realising Lottie wasnāt hurt - only a little teary. Lottie nuzzled against Taiās hand which had come to rest gently on her cheek.
Nat rubbed Lottieās back - her heart settling as she saw just how loved her little one was. āDid you have something to tell Bubby and Auntie Tai?ā Nat encouraged gently.
Cass is so nerd. I love. (Also I do moodboards now!! Disregard my request guidelines when it comes to moodboards (except robby stuff, still won't do him), I don't mind doing little/cg anyone for moodboards)
in your little!trinity hc's you mentioned a bedwetting issue, how did the others figure this out (but dennis) and how did they try approach it despite trinity just walking away?
Cw: csa, trauma, padded agere
So firstly, Trinity will do anything to avoid anyone finding out about her bedwetting/accidents. She makes sure not to take naps, she never falls asleep in someone elseās bed, she does all of her own laundry. She wore padding for a while when she lived on her own and with Dennis - but once the cgs and other littleās all started spending more time all together, Trinity got too anxious for anyone to find out. To rectify this she just puts a towel down and sleeps on top of it. Not exactly a genius plan - but when sheās regressed itās all she can think to do.
Trinity knows why her accidents happen, sheās a doctor and she isnāt oblivious. And she knows everyone else will probably be able to put it together too. (She doesnāt think about how the other littleās have accidents too and no one makes a big deal out of it). Besides, Trinity doesnāt want to be treated how the other littleās are when they have accidents. She sees how Dana changes Emma, Robby and Jack bathe Dennis, Langdon gently asking Mel if she needs to use the restroom, even Cassie will help Victoria get a new pull-up. It really scares Trinity, no matter how safe she tells herself it is. So no one can find out.
So the first person (other than Dennis) to find out would probably be Jack. Itās really early, Trinity knows everyone is asleep still on their day off, and is sneaking to go do laundry. But Abbott is coming back from his night shift and bumps into Trinity with her arms full of bedding and pyjamas. He knows whats happened but doesnāt get a chance to say anything because Trinity is shoving past him and refuses to make eye contact for the next few days. Dana finds out next, Trinity is super exhausted after a long shift. And the combination of Dana stroking her hair and an old Disney movie playing on the tv, knocks Trinity out. She wakes up wet, and Dana already knows. āItās ok Kiddo, just an accident - an easy fix.ā But Trin is already up and shutting herself in her room. There are a couple more similar incidents with the others - but everyone assumes itās a one off. Baran is the first to put together that it happens often. When she fist starts taking care of Trinity more, she asks everyone a bit about her. And everyone says something pretty similar. āShe doesnāt have accidents or anything. Well, except this one timeā¦ but it isnāt a big issue for her.ā And Baran starts to piece some things together. She confirms it one night when she comes to tuck in Trinity and notices the towel laid underneath her. She tries to ask about it gently, but Trinity just rolls over and pretends to go to sleep.
So Baran tells the other cgs and they all realise that itās a Much bigger issue than they originally realised. They all feel terrible obviously, and there are a few attempts to talk to her about it over the following days. None of which work and eventually Cassie (who has the best chance of getting through to Trinity because she is so non-judgmental) gets a pack of pull-ups. She takes them in to Trinityās room at bed time. Much like she did with Baran, Trinity rolls over and pretends to sleep. Cassie talks anyway. She tells Trinity that she doesnāt have to use them, but thereās nothing wrong with it if she does - in fact Cassie thinks itād help her feel less anxious and sleep better. Itās not embarrassing to have accidents, and no one else has figured out why Trinity has hers (Cassie has, of course, sheās seen it often enough). If Trinity ever does want to talk about it she can - but no one is going to pressure her into it. She leaves the pull-ups on Trinityās nightstand and leaves her be.
Trin does wear them, because sheās missed feeling so safe while sleeping. And over time she stops hiding it as much even if sheāll never fully open up about it.
šØ Van taking the longest naps ever. And waking up with such messy hair and having to chug a juice box or her sippy before she even thinks about talking to anyone
Van is such a napper š waking up with her pyjama pants scrunched up her legs, pillow creases on her flushed cheeks, and her blanket wrapped over her shoulders. Sheās soo sleepy!
Would you expand on the Trinity Paci meltdown story? I just imagine all the caregivers trying everything to help Trinity out of a meltdown and Dennis being like āWhereās her paci??ā And everyone being like āher what?ā And Trinity almost immediately falling asleep once itās in her mouth bc sheās worn out.
Yes absolutely! So Trinity is absolutely losing it - sobbing hysterically, and screeching at anyone who comes near her. It probably started over something small, no one really knows what it was. They just found her in the lounge room throwing a fit. Itās been a long day, multiple traumaās and probably a case that hit too close to home. Sheās exhausted and itās all bubbling out of her. Everyone tries to help. Baran is on the floor as close as Trinity will let her, trying to talk her down. Cassie offered to take her for a drive, Dana has but on her stern ākid you need to take it down a notchā voice. None of it is working. Then Dennis and Victoria come inside from the garden, and are a little shocked at first because Trinity rarely throws a fit. Dennis is the first to react, asking where her paci is. Everyone is so confused, Paci? Trinity doesnāt have one. All of the other littleās do, but Trinity has never showed any interest. They assume Dennis is just asking because heās seen Emma calm down when she gets her pacifier, and Dana starts to explain that it doesnāt work like that for Trinity. But Dennis is already going to Trinityās room and emerging a moment later holding a blue pacifier with Squirtle on the front. When Trinity catches sight of it she stills for a moment. And when Dennis pops it in her mouth, she goes completely silent. The rest of the room freezes - because, how did they not know this?
Ik exactly how you feel and feel it myself sometimes, it can be really upsetting, but I hope you know that you aren't wasting your life at all, and that you seriously put a smile on soo many spaces, this blog is so fun, you are endlessly creative, such a skilled writer and such a delight to interact with, we appreciate you so much adi
Sending love š«
thank you so much my kind friend <3 this really means a lot to me! sometimes my illness does make it feel like this life isnāt worth it - but knowing there are people out there who enjoy what I create makes it feel like i actually have some purpose š« sending love to you and everyone else who reads this
snowghoul
stormborns
kaledo-art
gummygunk
pixelskylines
discoholicmusic
dailybridgerton
germansingergirl
