idk what neurodivergent young adult needs to hear this but you are NOT supposed to give 100% at your job. I've gotten more promotions and raises since I started giving 40-60%, which my evil CEO uncle informed me is what bosses actually expect when they say 110%. My mental health has improved tremendously. I've spent 2 out of 5 workdays secretly writing my novel for the last 2 years and I've never been more respected and appreciated. Also--when you see glaring wasteful errors in the company's operating systems, say absolutely nothing! Embrace inefficiency. It is your friend in this capitalist hellscape.
đŹ kim sunwoo is not a professional actor, yet somehow he's making it very hard not to fall for his performance. Part one
PAIRING đŹ sunwoo x fem!reader
TAGS đŹ actors au, fluff, smut
WORD COUNT đŹ 3.3k
WARNINGS đŹ sex - MDNI
AUTHORâS NOTE đŹ sorryyyyyyyy this took forever and i don't know if i'm entirely happy but i hope you'll forgive me. i never want to post unfinished work on here again lol im so slow to finishđ
You don't know why you expected things to be different, when everything was said and done. Filming ended, and the cast and crew had a huge party, where everyone got too drunk and Sunwoo smiled at you so much it made your head spin. He seemed to be everywhere, so entwined with your life for months, and then, as abruptly as it started, it was all over.
Sunwoo's just a name in your contacts now, someone who occasionally posted an image on Instagram that made your stomach drop a little. He seemed to be having fun, he was back home for summer vacation, and that was all you knew. It felt weird to message him now when you had nothing to do with each other anymore, so you didn't.
But it did seem like a shame, because you really wanted to keep talking to him, laugh at his stupid jokes, and his attempts at being suave that never worked out.
It felt like something was missing.
When the day of the premiere came around, you figured he was still abroad and wouldn't be attending. It wasn't a "premiere" as such because the movie was just a local project, a collaboration between different faculties at the university and media houses in the city. Nothing that warranted any kind of big event. It was a private showing at the downtown cinema, and you found yourself regretting the whole thing more and more on the way over. Why did you have to do the dumb movie in the first place?
It's not like you were particularly close with any of the other cast members, after having spent most (if not all) of your time with Sunwoo throughout the project. You didn't even know who you would sit next to in the cinema at this point.
You choose a seat towards the left side of the room, after being greeted and congratulated by several cast and crew people on the way in. It was sweet but kind of lonely, and you didn't feel too good about the thought of having to watch yourself on a huge screen with no one to turn to. Hopefully most of it was cut out anyway.
When the movie started, you were already considering leaving, calculating if there was a way to pick up your coat quietly enough for no one to notice.
Just then, a string of muted excuses was heard to your right, and a silhouette appeared in the dim light, moving towards you.
"Shit, sorry, so sorry."
Someone snickered as he passed and for a moment the room lit up with light from the screenâilluminating Sunwoo giving a guy a fist bump in passing, as he continued toward where you sat. You didn't know if he knew you were there, and your heart started speeding up in naive hope that he somehow did. Should you call him over? Say something?â
"Y/n," Sunwoo whispers, trademark grin beaming down at you, looking uncharacteristically unsure of himself. But happy.
"Sunwoo," you breathe, eyes wide. Unprepared.
"I found you," he whispers. "Is this seat taken...?"
You scramble to move your coat out of the way so he can sit, receiving a few pointed looks from people further in on the same row. Sorry, he mouths. That doesn't matter right now. What matters is Kim Sunwoo sitting down next to you with a relieved sigh, like he's been rushing.
"Did you run from South-Korea...?" You whisper, nudging him a little, feeling giddy and simply the polar opposite from just a few minutes earlier.
"Ha-ha," he breathes, but grins nonetheless. "I missed yâ"
A boom sounds from the screen, and you look at each other with wide eyes for a second, almost bursting into laughter but managing to contain it. You almost forgot about the damn movie.
"âyour lame jokes," Sunwoo finishes, barely audible and smiling secretively, and you feel like you don't know how to behave. You don't possess the power to hold back the huge smile that spreads on your face.
He nudges your arm in return as you shift to watch what's happening, and it's strange how everything can turn back, just like that. How it feels like the past months never happened, and you've seen each other every day, like a time capsule unearthed.
The movie itself is surprisingly tolerable. You knew it was okay, from watching other actors do their scenes and going through rehearsals, but it was another thing to watch it like this, polished and edited, and with a score in the background. It was actually quite engaging.
Suddenly Sunwoo is on screen, breathtakingly beautiful, doing one of his solo scenes as Minsoo packing up all of his things. You see how his hand in his lap next to you anxiously flexes and un-flexes in your peripheral vision.
"See? That turned out great," you whisper, and Sunwoo shoots you a blinding smile.
It's not as fun when it turns out your scenes weren't cut, and you watch in horror when the main kiss scene approaches.
"Oh. This is way weird," you mumble, and when you turn to look at Sunwoo, he's already looking back, biting his lip.
"Way," he agrees, fidgeting.
"I don't think I can watchâ" you mumble, barely peeking out between your fingers, catching terrifying glimpses of the two of you making out. It's evidently been cut together from several different scenes, some from the more vanilla takes, but also from the steamy ones.
"It's okay," Sunwoo whispers, and turns your face with a soft touch so you're looking at him instead, eyes wide and reflecting the lights. "We don't have to watch, right?"
He's holding your hand all of a sudden, and in sum, it's a bit much. He doesn't look away from you, only smiles gently, squeezing your hand.
"Yeah, yes," you whisper.
"Good job, though," he grins, and the ridiculousness of the situation almost makes you break out laughing again. But you pull through, smile, and squeeze his hand back.
"You too."
It's late when you get out, after making a half reluctant appearance in the background of a photo for the local newspaper with the entire production and team. Sunwoo's smile hasn't left his lips since you saw him for the first time, hours earlier.
"Not bad, for two amateurs," he comments, looking out at the almost empty parking lot, his hands in his pockets to shield them from the autumn chill. You only smile in reply, still feeling the phantom warmth of his hand holding yours in the theater.
"You were amazing," you mumble, honestly, not catching the way he looks at you. "Truly, you were so good. I really lucked out."
"Lucked out?" Sunwoo mumbles, making you smirk, because you're sure he knows what you mean, just wants you to say it out loud.
"In my pairing with you," you say. "But you knew that. Cheeky."
And Sunwoo's grinning again, knocking your shoulders together.
"Feeling's mutual," he says, like it's obvious. "Like. Really mutual."
That makes you laugh. "Really mutual? What does that mean?"
"I don't know," Sunwoo shrugs, smiling at the ground. "I think you... Uh. I had a lot of fun. And I don't think I would have, if I wasn't with you."
The two of you drive in Sunwoo's car, and you feel sick at the thought of this ending again. It takes no more than a few minutes to drive to your apartment, and when he parks by the curb, it seems like nothing will be okay if you get out.
"Are youâ" you start, but think better of it. You want to ask if he's going back, what his plans are, but your voice sounds so loud in the silence. "Um. Shit."
You mumble the last part, and Sunwoo looks at you like it means something.
"Am I what?" he says, his voice barely above a whisper.
You don't reply, just look at him, and it feels like he can see right through you anyway.
A few seconds pass, and then, impossibly, he places a warm hand on your neck and pulls you in for a gentle kiss.
It doesn't seem real, in that sense that it's a familiar sensation, but at the same time so completely different from the other times. Your heart is going crazy, mind racing, but you don't want to think, just want him. The pressure of Sunwoo's full lips against yours, the smell of his shampoo, and the feeling of his thumb tracing the edge of your jaw. The complete lack of any logic, or mental preparation.
"Was that..." he breathes, pulling back slightly. "Okay?"
You blink and look so thoroughly confused that it makes him chuckle.
"Okay?" you repeat, breathless. "That was, um. Yes. Yeah. Do it again."
He grins and unbuckles his seat belt before he leans over properly this time, pulling you to him and kissing you deeper than before. You hold on to him for dear life and want him so much closer, want to show him that this is more than you know what to do with. In a good way.
You move your hand and it accidentally slips under his shirt, like it did when you were filming, and Sunwoo inhales sharply, leaning into it and you don't want to be presumptuous, butâ
"Come upstairs?"
Sunwoo grins, biting his lip. "Yes, please."
When you get out of the car, the windows are misted.
When Sunwoo can kiss you how he wants, with nothing scripted or prepared for, you realize just how much he was holding back before. He kisses you like a madman, like he has waited years to do it properly.
"Fuck, you have no idea," he breathes, eyes half lidded with lust. "No idea how long I've dreamed of this."
His words have you almost whining, pushing into his touch desperately, where his hands pull you against him.
It's a strange situation to be in, because even if it's the first time it's real, his body is so unknown and yet so familiar. You already know some things he likes, and now that there are no cameras, he doesn't hold his reactions back. You can't wait to learn more ways to make him groan and writhe.
"Fuck, Jesus, Y/n," he gasps, when you bite and suck kisses into his neck, his hips stuttering for friction.
You two stumble ungracefully through your apartment and into the bedroom, and Sunwoo wastes no time pushing you up against the closed door.
"Want you," you breathe, pulling slightly at the hair on the back of his neck, making his eyes slide shut for a moment, lost in it. "Want you so bad, Sunwoo."
"God," he groans, maneuvering you to the bed and leaning down with you. "This okay?"
He waits for your okay before he pushes his hands under your clothes, greedily feeling every inch of you and kissing your stomach.
Together you work to remove your clothes, finally left in just panties, and Sunwoo looks at you like nothing you've ever seen before. He's so fucking hot, eyes hazy and dark, hair hanging over his face.
He groans, strained, before leaning down to kiss your breasts, squeezing with both hands.
"You drive me crazy, seriously, I've been consumed⌠Even in Korea, I kept dreaming about you under me, if you could just give me one chance⌠That day at the film shoot, God, you had me rock hard in front of a whole production team. If they hadn't stopped usâŚ"
You feel yourself flush red hot at his words, gasping at his touch, hips lifting to find him. Of course he'd be a talker, Kim Sunwoo, with the cheeky mouth. The thought of him so affected by you makes you wetter than you've been in your entire life.
He reaches down and puts pressure, finally, on your pussy.
"Hah," he breathes, eyes closing in bliss. "So wet already? You want it that bad?"
"You really know how to switch between- ah- desperate confession and cocky," you moan, briefly distracted by how he kisses your neck and rubs circles into your clit, on top of your panties.
"It's my specialty," he smirks, hand moving up, before slipping into your underwear. The sound he makes at the contact almost drowns out your own noises.
"Please, let me eat you out, I need to, I'll make you feel so good," he mumbles, voice deep and trembling.
It's not exactly hard to comply.
You thought Sunwoo's lips were perfect for kissing, but it turns out they also lend themselves extremely well to other activities. You're almost surprised by his restraint, expecting him to want to fuck you since he seemed so eager, but quickly learn that eating might be his favorite thing.
"God, you taste so good," he breathes, inserting two fingers and curling them to find your sweet spot. "Oh, that's it. Good girl, taking my fingers so well."
It's embarrassing the effect his words have on you, how you're whining and moaning, clenching on his fingers. You're already on the brink of orgasm, and when you grab his hair to get him even closer, the sound he makes, rough and primal, sends you right over the edge.
He's so god damned sexy looking up at you, breath ragged, hair wild, licking his lips. "One more for me, yeah? You can give me one more?"
You can't help but nod breathlessly, helplessly, yelping when he gets right back to it. It's almost too much, and at the same time you just want more, impossibly more.
"M-more," you say, unsteady, feeling it building up again.
"My girl wants more?" he chuckles, sucking your clit harshly before inserting another finger. "Gonna get you good and ready for me. You want my cock?"
You whine again, blushing, tugging at his hair. "PleaseâŚ"
"Good girl," he hums, pumping his fingers faster, having you on the brink of tears. It feels fucking fantastic, you don't understand how he can be so good at it. "God, look at you. I knew you'd be so pretty like this, spread out for me."
"For you," you echo, almost a whisper, beyond embarrassment now, just painfully honest.
He grins wickedly, and then dives back in to give you another orgasm that arguably shakes you harder than the first one, vision going white for a second. Your legs wobble and he holds you steady, talking you through it.
"Doing so good," he praises, coming up to kiss your neck and your cheeks, while pulling his t-shirt off, finally.
You're boneless and weak, and so, so satisfied, but you gather yourself so you can admire him, his tan skin and strong shoulders.
"Fuck," you mumble, and he smirks, cheeky as ever.
"Knew you liked me," he says, cocky, but with a soft edge, leaving room for something more.
"I don't believe I was very subtle about it," you admit, smiling, and for a second realizing how incredibly happy you are.
"More subtle than me," he grins, making you laugh, and also remember what is about to happen.
"Ah, please, Sunwoo. Fuck me," you say, not above begging, at this point.
His eyes flutter closed again, breathing stuttering. Your hands find the buttons on his pants and he inhales sharply, leaning closer to give you easier access. When he's finally free of his constraints you feel almost dizzy with how much you want him, and need him to get inside of you.
"Aw, so eager," Sunwoo tuts, and you could laugh because you know he needs it just as bad as you, but you indulge him.
"Yeah, please, need you in me."
"Fuck," he groans, cracking immediately, just like you knew he would, moving to position himself.
He's so gorgeous when you finally see him in all his glory. Strong, lean, confident, perfect. Next time, if there is one, you want to move slow, let your hands run over the smooth planes and muscles, bite his chest, kiss his neck. Now though, it seems like you might die if he doesn't fuck you immediately.
"Shit, do you have any condoms?"
"Don't need 'em," you say, and it's your turn to grin at his expression. He looks dumbfounded, like he can't believe his luck.
"Give me a second," he groans, squeezing himself, leaning to rest against your knee. It's incredibly hot that just the thought of getting to fuck you raw has him on the verge.
He goes slow, giving you both time to get used to it, brows furrowed and looking so delicious, you can't help but clench around him when he's fully inside.
"Fu-uck," Sunwoo moans, eyes closing. "I'm not going to last long. That feels too good. And you're too perfect."
"Sweet talker," you smile, pulling him closer, getting a slow kiss as he starts to move.
The feeling of him inside of you is better than you even imagined, he fits you like it was by design. You admire him as he fucks you, eyes dark and a smirk still in the corner of his mouth, like he knows that he's just that good. Even so, he squeezes his eyes shut in pleasure, trying to hold out for you, trying to make you come one more time.
"Can you come like this?" he asks, voice all rough now, a little desperate.
"Mm, yeah," you breathe. "So good. Feels so good."
"I'll get you there," he says, no trace of uncertainty in his voice.
He moves his hand to your clit, starting slow and then building up tempo, as his hips still slam expertly into you in a rhythm that is making your head spin.
"Sunwoo, I'm so close, fuckâ"
"Let go, pretty girl, come for me."
Your senses explode in white as you come together, clenching so hard around him you'll be thinking about it for weeks. He moans your name, showering you in praises, hands gripping your hips so hard it's bound to leave marks.
Afterwards you're so exhausted, you could fall asleep immediately. Sunwoo kisses you and asks about towels, or something, and you answer to the best of your currently limited ability.
He cleans you up so gently, puts a glass of water on the nightstand, and blissfully, you pass out like a light in his arms.
You crack the window in your bedroom open, letting in some cool air, and when you turn back to the bed Sunwoo looks at you through his lashes, smiling sleepily. He's still undressed under the duvet and yelps in surprise when you get in next to him and put a cold hand on his stomach.
Then he sighs and pulls you close again, back to where you were before, tucked under his arm.
"You still worried about that kissing thing?" he mumbles, and you can feel him smiling in his usual cheeky manner.
"Like you even have to ask," you reply dryly, squeezing his waist. "You just want me to tell you what a great kisser you are and how you've ruined other men for me or something. I'm not falling into your trap, Kim Sunwoo."
He laughs heartily, and you grin, your head shaking from how his chest moves.
"You already have~" he sing-songs, giggling.
"Shit," you laugh. "Maybe I did. Or maybe you fell into mine?"
"Mm," Sunwoo hums. "I fell for your pick up line way back then. I told you it was good."
"It wasn't a pick up line," you insist, and Sunwoo starts laughing again.
"Doesn't mean it didn't work."
You look up at him and he winks, making you guffaw and poke his stomach in protest.
"Ugh," you say, affectionately, and he grins openly at that, rolling over so you're facing each other. "But you are a good kisser. I'll admit as much."
Sunwoo smirks. "Oh, you haven't seen anything yet."
I am skipping your ads as fast as I can. I'm skipping past your sponsor read. I'm muting the tv. I'm muting the tab. If they get too annoying I will simply stop trying to watch.
If advertisers can use every manipulative trick in the book to get me to buy their product, I am fully within my rights to do everything I can on my end to make their job impossible
âł Synopsis: A little fun wouldn't hurt anybody when your boyfriend decides to take you while a family member is in the house.
âł Warnings: Smut. Fluff. Softdom Sunwoo. Exhibitionism. Usage of the name slut. Unprotected sex. Brother confrontation :) I used his Korean age not international
masterlist!
The last thing you would think (if you were able to think right now), would be that this boy whose face is glued to yours and body nuzzled in between your legs is not the same boy that's terrified of almost everything. There were a lot of things that you didn't think were right, and this was one of them. And there were a lot of things he was afraid of, and maybe this wasn't one of those things.
Hands. All over you. Groping you over your clothes, all warm and squeezing tight, in some areas light and feathery, making you feel bothered and needy. Making you hiss through your teeth along with mewls. Eyebrows knitted in place at the audacity of his hands.
"stop touching me"
He pushed you further back into bed by his lips until your back comes in contact with the mattress and laying comfortably underneath him. That perfect amount of weight on top of you. Your hands can't help but snake to the nape of his neck and push him further into your mouth. Atmosphere drowned with lips smacking, biting, diluting your taste with his, heads pushing and pulling. Hands pushing and pulling.
A sly smirk crosses his lips, "Hm?, What were you saying?"
Only slightly annoyed, you pull back from him, "we can't do this here," you scoot yourself up so that you're sitting against the headboard, and Sunwoo slides you his pouty eyes. It only means one thing when he that, he wants something. And almost every time, he gets it. You almost fall for it, "look you horny shit, you didn't come here for me"
And you know you're right. You have a brother, Younghoon. When you started dating Sunwoo, those two clicked instantly. Almost an inseparable bond. Playing games, and sports with each other while you let him be. How could you not love it?
It was only when Younghoon had to leave for university that you saw Sunwoo heartbroken for the first time. Your brother was always protective and selective of the boys you opened your heart to, but with Sunwoo, he took one look at your boyfriend and surprisingly enough, by not opening his mouth and diluting the air with "no's"? That was blessing enough for Sunwoo to date you. While you had the right to date Sunwoo anyways, Younghoon grew fond of Sunwoo. And they never expected the amount of sadness when Younghoon had to leave his best friend to go to school in another city.
But now he's back, evident from the yelling and video game noises coming down the hall.
There were times where Sunwoo would hang out with Younghoon more than you, but there was no point on letting it bother you. Once a girl who values her alone time, always a girl who values her alone time.
And there were times where Sunwoo would neglect his poor best friend and leave him in the dust by being with you for hours and days. Maybe it's the fact that he's gotten so used to just having you around, he forgot what it was like that you had a brother who's also his best friend.
"You came here to hang out with Younghoon, not me"
Handing you a dismissive look, he decided to try your lips, hands moving down to your hips. But you dodge his lips and he starts to whine and groan, letting his head fall onto your stomach forehead first. Most of the time, you'd have found that endearingly adorable. Because you learned that your boyfriend is clingy and needy. "we have been together for the last few maybe months, and I overheard you two yesterday when he came back into town saying that you'll meet up with him today to play league of legends," a scoff (endearing) slips past your lips, "..you dorks"
"He'll be fiiiinee, I'll see him tomorrow", his voice muffled by the fabric of your hoodie.
"No, get off me and go hangout with my br-"
Tightening his hold on your hips a yelp escapes you from him pulling you down. And you're where you were earlier, underneath him. Underneath him and all his delicious weight. He flexes his hips up and you're only able to hiss.
"baby- I'm so worked up right now, so I'm staying here"
Feeling nervous, you take a big gulp and when you shift around, you feel his hardness in between your legs and you shiver at the contact. "Younghoon's right down the hallway Sunwoo"
Sunwoo lowers his head till his lips connect with the notch of your throat, kissing up till he reaches your ear, "we will be very very very quiet" He manages to say each 'very' sexier each time, "at least I will be"
You swallow at his words as he places his hand under your jaw, gripping tenderly, tilting your chin to the ceiling allowing his lips to explore the skin of your neck. Swirling his tongue anywhere he finds fit. His other hand pulling your sweater taut. You pull your eyebrows tight when he nips at a sensitive spot.
He lowered his voice, "If I wanna fuck you, I'll fuck you, anywhere and anytime"
Gasping at his bold claim, "Sunwoo, Younghoon is right down the hall, if he hears any of this, he'll kill-"
"No he won't, and enough of the sibling talk, it's throwing me off"
"You're insane", smacking your lips along with an eye roll, but his lips feel so good on your skin, it was impossible to hold any ounce of annoyance for long. Aware of what could go wrong, you bring your hand to the back of his head, threading your fingers through his beautiful locks. And you feel the twitch of his lips when he smiles against your skin, "insane for you".
When you start rolling your body below him, you can feel his hardness with every roll and a shiver from him paired with hearing him groan. His grip becomes tighter at your jaw and he smashes your lips with his. Messily and desperate. Sunwoo was devouring you and with his body pushing harder against yours, you mewl into his lips. His perfect mouth invading you and making you feel all sorts of things along with his body pressing against you. And you couldn't help but pull so tight on his hair pushing him in, because more, more, and more.
This house was built with such thin walls, you can only pray that none of this can be heard.
It's merely just making out coupled with excessive tongue and fondling, it shouldn't have possibly dizzied your mind so much to the point you didn't feel his other hand snake up the only clothing item keeping him from having more access. Only able to cup one breast squeezing he grows impatient and pulls away from you and removes your sweater, pulling your body up and messing up your hair in the process. A familiar feeling climbs up through your body when you're welcomed with the hunger behind his eyes. Something shakes you on the inside as you get pushed back on the bed roughly and he reclaims your lips. And traveling every where, lips never not connected to skin, "I love you, I love you, I fucking love you"
He can say it a million more times, and you'd never get used to it.
Well aware of it though, you know he loves you. Never doubted it. One thing comes to your mind, when you hear his 'I love you' mantras. It means that he either did something foolishly stupid or you're going to have the life fucked out of me. Let's go ahead and go with the last.
You feel wetness, and teeth over your nipple. He gives both your breasts love, and he looks up- nose deep in between the valley of your breasts while groping them, only to find you sighing with the crown of your head buried deep into the pillows.
"Sunwoo-", you breathe out.
"hm?" still playing with your breasts.
"touch me"
The corners of his lips twitch into a grin and he happily undoes the tie of your shorts. Slipping his hand in and touching over your panties. "staining your panties already?" Not sure if it's possible, but you may have gotten wetter from that question alone. You writhe and whine under him to touch you already. He chuckles, and not too long after he slips your shorts down along with that thin soaking fabric.
Sunwoo doesn't give you a chance to spread your legs voluntarily, because he forcefully does it for you. He's practically drooling at the sight of your soaking core. Connecting your lips with his again, "oh you're such a slut". You can't help but smile against his lips, taking his free wrist in your hand, guiding it all the way down your body till it's in between your legs, touching you where you need him most. Immediately, your whole body tenses up at the contact of his fingers. "Such a slut", chuckling on your lips. Then he draws slow circles on your clit, and intense jolts fly through you causing you to buck your hips
Sunwoo slips a finger in you and you almost can't take it, you press further into his lips to dampen your noises. It's only fingering, but he's doing it to the point where you forgot how to breathe. Shaky and weak you can't kiss back, you opt for biting your lip and you're certain that blood is being drawn. As he continues to fuck you with his fingers, you scrabble for the comforter and you fist. You fist hard.
Sunwoo has his attention divided perfectly. His eyes glued to your face, while his fingers fuck his girl. His girl that's bout to lose her marbles. "Sunwoo, please I-"
And he was quick with his actions, stripping everything frantically, and the next thing you knew, he was in between your legs, ready to take you. And your body was ready. Focus way too pointed on his body, his honey like skin, and throbbing shaft, precum slicked red tip, oh so ready for that, you didn't notice his gaze. Like he couldn't wait to destroy you to smithereens, you couldn't help but to bite your lips seductively at him, "cmon then, all talk? do what you wanted...fuck me"
A growl. A delirious growl rips through him and he finds your aching entrance and pushes into you all the way, eliciting a yelp.
"oh godd-", he begins push into you more if that was possible, then pulling out all the way, only to slam back in, and you scream at the contact of his pelvis slamming into yours.
Voice sounding hushed, "Fuck, fuck, fuck" with every word, he pounds into you and you're trembling beneath him. His palm finds your waist and lifts you to snake his arm under, lifting your hips. This angle, oh god. He's hitting the spot so perfectly a sob catches in your throat and you have to clamp your mouth shut. You swore you felt the rolling heat all throughout your body.
Pulling you to meet each thrust, your mewls get louder and you hide your face into the pillow. "Sun-" Thrust. "su-" Thrust. Your hands search around till it finds his arms and you dig your nails into them. You can barely pull out a word, because of how fast he's going. Sunwoo finds it so outrageously cute when you dig your face into the pillows. "princess can't take it?" Cooing like he's some innocent, but his thrusts say otherwise.
He scoots your body up the mattress with his and you open your eyes, he lets go so that your lower back meets with the mattress again and he rests one hand on the wall above.
Fuck, he's so hot right now.
He gives you a grin, and your heart leaps out of your chest. His smile. Practically your favorite thing about him. Every single time he smiled at you this way, your heart would find a rate probably at a thousand bpm and your brain would melt.
Using the wall as leverage, he grips your waist and pounds into you harder. You moan louder and he warns down with a smug look. Smirk growing on his face as he shakes his head slowly down at you, shushing you all the while pushing and pulling in you. Lowering his face and attaching his lips to your ear, "god you're such a slut" and your moans turned mewls pitches up a notch, "my slutty princess" and that makes you melt.
He pulls away enough that his face is just above yours, while he carries on fucking you into oblivion. It doesn't take much more than a few more thrusts. Mouth gaped open, he gives you an amused look. "Come, princess" Of course he would know. Squeezing your eyes shut, you let your orgasm devour you, as he devours you. His name leaving your lips in and shaking and trembling till you're stilled and heaving.
He pulls out of your aching core, and you think you're done. But his hands finds your hips and flips you till your knees and hands land on the mattress. A choked groan comes out of you when he enters you again shoving your upper body down. Quick and easy from all your wetness.
Sunwoo bends down till his he's at your ear, "baby, if you keep screaming like that, your brother is going to hear.." he pauses, "and I'm not sure if I'll be able to stop if he comes knocking" A cry mixed with a mewl comes out of me. So much for no sibling talk.
"now," he pulls back up, "im going to fuck you" he sharply thrusts, "like the little slut you are". Before you manage to do anything, he starts to shove and thrust and pummel into your sore core, brutally and at full tilt, like it's the last chance he's ever gonna get.
He pushes your head down in the mattress with his hand and the sound of his hips smacking against yours echoes throughout the room. "Sunwoo pl-please-", crying and pleading into the mattress.
"come" he demands, and actual tears are rolling out your eyes. Once again, an orgasm ripples through you. Soaring and felt to the tips of your toes. Sunwoo comes as well, pulling out of you slowly. Gawking at the sight of his cum flowing out of you, he gathers his cum with his tip and fucks it back into you with a harsh thrust. A small yelp out of you and he slows his hips to a steady roll, pushing your hips down to the mattress. He gathers your hair to one side whispering into your ear, "atta girl. shh...thats it". At this point, you think you're seeing stars pasted in your eyelids.
The aftermath of the orgasm is pulling you under when he pulls out to lay beside you. Having went through not one but two intense mind blowing orgasms, you're ready to call it a day.
He pulls you closer to him curling up into him, with a cute little closed lip smile. And he adjusts your hair till it's out of your face, "you're okay right?" The only thing you hear is a faint ringing, and that only happens after a monstrous orgasm. But, "more than okay".
He kisses your temple and begins to snuggle comfortably into bed, but you tell him to clean up and go get dressed.
"What?"
"You", taking a deep breath, "have to go hang out with Younghoon"
"are you serious?" A confused look is dawned on Sunwoo's face, but your eyes aren't even open to tell, his tone tells it all. "I just fucked the shit out of you, and you're limp and lifeless, and you're telling me to go hang out with your brother?!"
"Yes, go"
He seems to weigh his options, looking at the door back to you, and he lands on one, "Fine, but I'll see you soon"
"mhm go," Tired enough, you don't even lift your face off the pillow to say bye (let alone wish him goodluck).
Younghoon is seated where he can see who enters his room, he only glances at Sunwoo, and looks away just as fast with only mild anger.
Sunwoo acknowledges the glance as a come in and closes the door taking a seat next to Younghoon on the sofa.
It's silent for a while, as Younghoon gives all of his attention to the league of legends game. And Sunwoo shifts his eyes from the screen to Younghoon, staring attentively and confused.
"Look, if you're gonna" a shudder ruptures through Younghoon, "do that with my sister, at least give me a heads up"
It takes a second for Sunwoo to register what he just said, before snickering. Younghoon glares at Sunwoo, "dude" placing his hand out offended. "I literally had to search through my room for earplugs, which unfortunately don't work that well" He pops the ear plugs out his ears and throws them on the table.
"Younghoon, your sister is an adult you know that right?"
"No she's like 16" returning to his game pressing on his controller.
"Dude she's the same age as me"
Pausing he looks over at Sunwoo, "how old are you again?"
"22"
Younghoon purses his lips, "oh.....but still thats my little sister" He hands Sunwoo a controller and they start playing the game that was promised.
Through out the game, Younghoon looks over his shoulder finding his best friend focused on something other than the game. He sighs before saying, "go, I'll see you another day"
Quick at his feet, Sunwoo turns to Younghoon, "you are the best brother-in-law ever" and dashes out.
Younghoon scoffs at his title, "wait, do I have to wear earplugs again?"
You feel movement on the bed and find a fluffy dark headed boy in your arms, "hi princess"
Stirring in your sleep, you don't even bother opening your eyes due to the grogginess and only smile to where you think his face is at, "what are you doing back", curling into his embrace.
22.2k, Trigger!AU, post-apocalyptic world, dystopia, scientist!reader, alien organism, parasitic organism, human experimentation, animal experimentation, kidnapping, harassment, imprisonment, restraints, shock collars, guns, superhuman abilities, mentions of drugs, blood, excessive vomiting, gross body fluids, spitting, verbal abuse, disrespectful behavior, burns, mentions of death, implied animal deaths (I'm sorry but science) and human deaths, paranoia, sci-fi developments, yandere themes, implied orgy, mind control, manipulation, god complex, human evolution, lots of science talk even though I am not a scientist >_<
âWe caught one!â
Those words made you freeze up, panic slowly starting to build. For a moment you thought that perhaps you had heard wrong, but the others around you were talking about the fact that one of the old experiments had been recovered. That was confirmation that your fear was valid. Once the initial shock passed you sprung into action. You cleaned up your station, intending to run off and hide somewhere, but just as you logged off your computer and turned around you came face to face with your boss. The pleased smile on his face told you everything. He knew your intentions from the start and was so glad to have caught you before you had a chance to disappear.
âWhere do you think youâre going? You have to welcome back 67.â
ââŚâ
âThereâs no need to worry. Itâs fully restrained. The only thing it could do is hear you breathe.â
âWhy donât you just have someone else do it?â
âThis was your project after all.â
âUntil it was handed over to you. So you should-â
âThat may be the case, but you always handled the subjects so well, so thereâs no one better for the job than you. Come along now.â
You couldnât run away anymore, so you reluctantly followed your boss, leaving the research area and heading to one of the examination rooms. Of course you would be going in alone, and your boss made sure you stepped into the room before going off to attend to other matters. The silence made your heartbeat sound like a drum, and the sight before you didnât really put you at ease. The subject in question was seated on an examination table and heavily restrained just as you had been told. A proper blindfold had been placed over their eyes, blocking out all the light. The gag in their mouth also made speech impossible. The best they could probably manage would be low guttural sounds.
Their legs were cuffed together, allowing for limited movement and assuring they couldnât run at all. Their arms were restrained in a similar manner. Wrists cuffed together, their hands stuck in these sort of metallic mittens so they wouldnât be able to grab anything. A chain connected their hands and legs, keeping them from raising their arms up. Then there was the collar around their neck. It was secured with an electronic lock, and the glowing red light at the front told you it was active, which meant any sudden moves would result in the subject being electrocuted. Your boss was right, movement was heavily restricted, and all senses blocked off except for hearing. All they could do in this state was listen. Yet you didnât move, just staring for a moment as this was never how you saw things going.
⏏⏏⏏⏏⏏⏏⏏⏏⏏⏏⏏
Not so long ago, Earth was struck by a heavy meteor shower. It devastated the planet and destroyed much of modern society. Many lives were lost, and what remained of the environment became a sort of wasteland. In a matter of days the world around you became a dystopia. You were lucky not to have suffered so much from the disaster. Even before the meteor shower you worked for this major corporation in their research department. The company managed to survive the ordeal and became one of humanityâs remaining pillars. As a scientist with a focus on genetics and human biology, you were one of the few tasked with finding a way to help humanity evolve and overcome this calamity.
Because of your position you were able to live comfortably. You had a roof over your head and food on the table. The company provided everything for you as you were one of their valuable assets. To a degree life didnât change for you, only the outside world did. You didnât have to worry about the basic necessities to survive unlike others. Sometimes you felt guilty about that, but in that same vein you were grateful to be where you were. You had work and purpose to keep you going, to fill your days. Whereas a majority of people used technology as their escape. Those out in the real world would spend hours, or days, at a time in VR simulations. Using recreational drugs and doing whatever they could just to get by.
Even though you were fortunate to be where you were, your own luck was running thin. The original research into human evolution and adaptability wasnât really making any progress. Thatâs when the company introduced something new to your department. The meteor shower didnât just devastated the planet, it brought something with it. Field researchers had come across this black goo-like substance, and upon further examination discovered it was a living organism. The alien organism was captured and studied. It seemed to have some low level intelligence, but the team discovered it was incredibly durable. Fire could not burn it, freezing temperatures would not kill it, nothing seemed to cause it any harm. Such abilities made it incredibly adaptable to any environment, and that was the key for humanities survival.
It came from the sky in a ball of fire and was given the name Prometheus. When it was initially discovered, Prometheus was consuming the surrounding plant life, increasing its own mass in the process. Yet when introduced to an animal it did something different. It didnât consume it, but wound up killing it instead. At first the researchers thought Prometheus was a danger to any living creature on Earth, but when they studied the corpse left behind they found something else. Prometheus hadnât been trying to consume the animal like it did with plants, but tried to assimilate. Of course the animalâs own biology perceived Prometheus as a threat, and the shock of a foreign organism resulted in death. Although this meant that it was possible for Prometheus and a human to become one. Or at least that was the initial belief.
All the tests the field researchers ran, all the tests your department ran, they all had the same results, death. No matter what variables were changed, Prometheus always wound up killing the animal it attempted to assimilate. This project was getting nowhere, and you could tell your position, your life, was on the line. If there wasnât progress soon, if something didnât change soon, youâd lose your own sense of stability in this broken world. So you had to figure something out in order to survive. You went over all the data that had been gathered so far, spending long nights trying to find a solution or at least figure out a step in the right direction. Once you found that you created your own project proposal, intending to take matters into your own hands. Without speaking to anyone beforehand you managed to stand before the companyâs board of directors and present your own findings.
âIt may seem like there hasnât been any progress with the Prometheus project, but all the data weâve gathered thus far tells us something important.â
âWhich would be what exactly?â
âDespite the many failures for Prometheus to assimilate with animals, when we examine the D.N.A of the corpses, specifically the areas that came in contact with Prometheus, we see that the D.N.A strands have changed. Before the body gave out, assimilation was happening.â
âYet it failed every time.â
âYes, every time, which says something about Prometheus. The fact it keeps trying to assimilate despite failing means it wants to. Weâre not forcing it.â
âAre you saying Prometheus wants what we want?â
âWhether assimilation is for survival or genuine curiosity, Prometheus recognizes animals as beings of higher intelligence. Not once has it ever tried to consume the animals it was introduced to. I donât doubt itâd be the same for humans, but we are nowhere near being able to allow Prometheus near our species.â
âSo then what is the point of you being here?â
âIf we really want to use Prometheus as a means of evolution we need to take a different approach. We canât just brute force this, so we should focus on what has given us the best results. A young and healthy animal survived longer than an old or sick one, which means our test subjects going forward should be at peak health. I know we are nowhere near human testing, but I would like to gather some volunteers who fit my criteria and begin analyzing how human D.N.A would interact with Prometheus. That way we could start testing for compatibility. And I have no problem going out into the nearby areas to search for these people myself.â
You presented your points and made a suggestion, knowing you were truly putting yourself on the line. You didnât really know how the world worked beyond the companyâs wall of safety, but if you could do things your way, youâd face the reality for the sake of progress and survival. The board of directors took some time to go over your proposal, and in the end they allowed you to move forward with it. That decision brought you great relief, but now you had to actually keep your word. You hadnât been out in the world since it was destroyed, so this wasnât just about finding what you needed, but learning what had become of humanity.
The company provided you with a small escort, but for the most part you were on your own for this. You didnât really mind since what you were looking for wouldnât be easy to find. Considering what had happened to the world, to find someone who was healthy was going to be quite the challenge. Many people fell ill due to the meteor shower, developing chronic problems, and that could lead one into a drug habit. Even then, others would use drugs recreationally in excess, also rendering them useless for your project. To find someone untainted by this disaster could very well be impossible, but you were determined to give it your all and try.Â
You traveled to many places, some calm, some dangerous, but you kept your true intentions to yourself. All you did was observe, quietly looking for the special ones. It took a few days before you actually found someone who fit your criteria. You were browsing a market when you noticed a young man at the stall next to you. Based on their looks they seemed healthy, but not all illness was visible. You quietly followed them, which dropped your hopes. They seemed to enter into what looked like a drug den, but you didnât give up there. As soon as you stepped inside the building you were less hopeful.
The people around you were all plugged into VR simulations, and likely on some kind of psychedelics. Still, you moved further into the building, seeing more and more people detached from reality, yet you didnât see the young man from earlier. Despite your better judgement you kept going, calling out to see if anyone was in the real world. You didnât get a response and thought maybe you could ask one of the many people around you. It was a bad idea to interrupt someone in a simulation, but you didnât want to leave without answers.
âI wouldnât do that if I were you.â
A voice startled you and you stopped, looking over to see a young man with no gear. He wasnât the same one from the market, but he also appeared to be in good condition. Then again, given where you were you had to keep your expectations low.
â⌠ah⌠I was looking for someoneâŚâ
âWe donât keep a record of those who come here.â
âHe⌠he walked in a few minutes ago⌠he didnât really seem like he came in here for⌠thisâŚâ
The young man sauntered over to you, eyeing you up and down. You kept your head up, trying to appear composed and confident, but you were quite nervous being here. Sure your security escort was just outside, but at the moment you were on your own.
âYouâre not from around here, are you?â
âHuh?â
âYouâre all clean and proper. You donât seem like someone who would come here forâŚâ The young man looked at those around him. â⌠this, although I could be wrong.â
â⌠like I said, I came here-â
âI heard you the first time. Come on, Iâm sure I can help you find your mystery person.â
Before you could say more, or step back, the other grabbed your arm and started pulling you along. Their grip was rather strong, so your attempts to free yourself were rather pointless. You werenât sure where you were going, but to your own surprise you wound up in a place that looked like an office. A bunch of monitors hung on the wall, showing camera footage from all over the building. Someone was at the desk, typing away but their back was to you, so you couldnât make out their face. While you were distracted you didnât realize where you were going. That is until you were shoved into a chair, the other using their body to keep you pinned while they restrained one of your arms.
âWait! What the hell are you doing!?â
âI got a new one for you, Younghoon.â
âLet me go!â
âShe sounds feisty. Where did you get this one?â
âPlease! I donât- you! Itâs you from the market! I followed you here!â
You were still fighting and struggling when the one at the desk got up and walked over. Amidst your panic you saw their face, immediately recognizing them and calling it out. For a moment the one holding you down stopped, glancing over at the other. The one whose name was supposedly Younghoon.
âDo I know you or something?â Younghoon asked. âYou donât seem familiar at all.â
âI havenât had a chance to introduce myself⌠but I have a proposition for you⌠if youâll hear me outâŚâ
âA proposition? Hm, sounds interesting, go on then.â
âUh⌠could you untie me first?â
âThat depends whether I like what I hear or not.â
âWell⌠I do have a few questions for you firstâŚâ
âShoot. Hyunjae, get off her for a sec.â
The other one, Hyunjae, merely stood at your side now. Only one of your arms was tied down, but clearly if you tried to free yourself you wouldnât actually succeed. These werenât ideal conditions, but at least you had the attention of the person you wanted.
âSo⌠uh⌠do you⌠do you run this place?â
âDoes that matter?â
âKinda⌠like⌠do you⌠partake in any of itâŚ?â
âHuh?â
âDo you take any drugs or psychedelics? Howâs your overall health? Did you suffer from the meteor shower? How old-â
âWoah, woah, easy there. What kind of questions are those?â
âI⌠I need to know if youâre in good conditionâŚâ
âNow Iâm even more interested.â Younghoon took a moment. âI donât take anything or get lost in simulations. This place is just so others have somewhere to escape to. You could say Iâm healthy, but Iâm not really sure what youâre looking for with a question like that.â
âI was just asking if you had suffered from any sort of illness, whether before or after the meteor showerâŚâ
âI guess my health is important here.â
âYes.â
âWell, compared to most, you could say Iâm healthy. Iâm not sick in any way, Hyunjae and I are one of the few who are fortunate in that regard.â
âWait, both of you⌠I guess that makes sense, given the state of the world, itâd be smart to stick together.â
âNow what exactly is this proposition of yours?â
âThe company I work for is trying to prevent humanities extinction. The best solution is for humans to evolve in order to survive the new conditions on Earth. For this we need healthy people, at least to start with.â
âThatâs incredibly vague, you know that right?â
âI canât give too many details, but we discovered a way to enhance the human genome. Of course itâs not perfect, yet, but itâs possible. Thatâs why we need young and healthy individuals such as yourselves to participate in this project. So when this succeeds, youâll be the first of a new species.â
âYou sound pretty confident.â
âI am. Although I will make myself very clear, Iâm looking for volunteers. I have no intention of begging or forcing you to cooperate with me here.â
âSo youâre offering us a choice?â
âYes. I would greatly appreciate your participation, but I understand if you donât want to.â
âWhen do you want an answer?â
âIâm still looking for subjects, but Iâm hoping to get things started in two weeks.â With your free hand you managed to grab a business card from your pocket. âHere. Thatâs me and my company. If you decide to join us, either of you, thatâs where to go.â
Younghoon gestured for Hyunjae to take the card. The boy looked it over, seeming impressed before handing it over to Younghoon.
âUh⌠could you untie me now?â
âHyunjae.â
âYeah.â
Hyunjae untied your restraint, and you massaged your arm as you thanked him. You were curious what would have happened if you werenât able to talk to them, but you were too scared to ask. Although there was one last thing you would like to do.
âUh⌠if itâs not too much of a bother⌠I would like to gather a D.N.A sample from you⌠just for reference, a mouth swab is very simple and I canât really do much with it, so no ulterior motives, I swear.â
âI guess you would want a record of your potential volunteers.â
âYes, please.â
âI guess you should stick around until the others get here.â Hyunjae commented. âYouâd probably want to meet them too.â
âThere are more of you?â
âLike you said, it makes sense for us to stick together.â
You got the sample kit from the bag you had brought along, setting up to get what you needed. While you were doing a swab for Younghoon two other boys came into the office. They were immediately asking about you and Hyunjae explained. He handed them your card and told them about your proposition. The two were soon introduced to you as Kevin and Eric, another pair of healthy individuals. You were quite fortunate to run across four potential candidates, hoping at least one of them would participate in the project. You got your D.N.A swabs from all four, labeling your samples and thanking them once again for hearing you out.
Before you left, Hyunjae and Eric actually gave you some information about two other individuals. They werenât sure if they fit your criteria but you were thankful for their suggestions. If anything you now had two leads to follow up on. It was better than wandering around aimlessly, and it gave you hope of finding more people who could help you with this project. You felt lucky to actually find the people who had been suggested to you, Juyeon and Sunwoo. They were also hesitant to talk with you but you did manage to tell them about the project you were working on. You also got your samples from both, but Juyeon seemed incredibly reluctant, so you didnât have much hope for him.
After that you were on your own again, traveling and watching. Of course you could only go so far out since you had a fixed amount of time to gather possible candidates. Even though you just had six so far, you were glad that you wouldnât return empty handed. So your search continued, and you managed to find five more potential volunteers. They all seemed to be doing different things, but overall looking after themselves. Haknyeon was polite and intrigued by your words, but you assured him this was his choice. Through him you found your way to Chanhee. He was quiet, but heard you out. If anything you were taken aback by his beauty, well aware of how he stood out in this world.Â
Not long after that you crossed paths with Changmin. He thought you were trying to sell him something and wasnât interested until he saw your card. Even as you explained he seemed skeptical, but complied with your request for a sample. You were truly grateful to all of those you crossed paths with, unaware that you were actually drawing attention to yourself. It wasnât necessarily bad, but you could certainly be perceived as suspicious. Thatâs how you ran into Sangyeon. You were heading out when you found a complete stranger at your door. He had an intimidating aura, but you kept your composure. He questioned you, wondering why someone like you was around. You handed over your card and explained, swearing you werenât doing anything harmful.
If he had been alone, he might not have let you go so easily, but there was someone else with him. Jacob had been lurking just out of sight, overhearing you and becoming interested. He revealed himself to keep Sangyeon from doing anything to you and asking his own questions. You couldnât give him solid answers, as some things you didnât know, and there was still a lot of confidentiality. Still, the two complied with your request, and you were glad everything worked out. They were the last two you got to meet as it was about time you returned to the company. In total you had eleven possible candidates, so you hoped at least three would take you up on your offer. When you got back you presented your findings to the board and they seemed pleased. Now you just had to wait and hope things would work out for you.
⧍⧍⧍⧍⧍⧍⧍⧍⧍⧍⧍
Days later you got the news you were waiting for. Your candidates had gathered, so it was time to move forward with the project. It was exciting, and you were eager to see who had taken you up on your offer. Yet when you made it to the lab everything started to fall apart. You asked where your candidates were, only to be escorted elsewhere. Thatâs when you saw your volunteers locked up in cells. You didnât understand what was going on, moreso when you realized all eleven boys you had met were present. You had questions, and just then someone else from your department entered the room. They seemed pleased, but you were far from happy.
âWhat the hell is this!? Why are they locked up!?
âWell, they didnât really cooperate.â
âHuh? What does that mean?â
âThey all put up quite a fight when they were collected. Or so I was told.â
âWhat!? This was supposed to be a choice! I didnât want to force anyone into this!â
âYes, yes, weâre aware, but you only found eleven. Our chances of success here are higher if we have them all.â
âNo, this is not how my project-â
âI see you havenât been told.â
âTold what?â
âThis isnât your project anymore.â
âExcuse me.â
âThe board felt someone more senior should be overseeing things on such an important project. So Iâve been placed in charge. Of course youâre still a part of it, unless thereâs some sort of conflict here.â
Frustration couldnât begin to describe what you felt. This was all wrong, yet you knew there wasnât much you could do now. If you went to the board, you could get kicked off the project, or worse, get thrown out of the company. So for now youâd have to bite your tongue and figure things out.
â⌠thereâs no issue.â
âThatâs what I figured. So now we can move forward as intended.â
âWe need proper samples from them first.â
âThen you can start there.â
âWhat?â
âLike you said, we need samples, and you know how to do that, right?â
â⌠yesâŚâ
âGo on then. We have a lot of work ahead of us.â
You stayed put as your new boss left the room. On the inside you were fuming, hating what had unfolded before you. This was not how things were supposed to go. Worse of all, now you had to face the boys, knowing very well everything you told them had become a lie. It wasnât supposed to be like this. Maybe it was foolish to think your project would actually go the way you wanted it to, but right now you knew you had to push through. To ensure more things didnât go wrong, you had to take control of as much as you could. That was going to start with you gathering the samples you needed from each of the eleven boys.
You returned to the lab to gather the things youâd need and then mentally prepared to face your participants. Each cell was equipped with the basic necessities, although originally you wanted your volunteers to live together in a sort of group home setting. Since they were more like prisoners than volunteers now, certain precautions were in place. They all had a collar around their neck. It mainly kept tabs on their vitals, but could also electrocute them if they misbehaved. Alongside that they had cuffs on their wrist and ankles. On the outside they merely seemed decorative, but they were actually magnetic. When needing to enter their cells the cuffs on their wrists would forcefully pull them back against the opposite wall from the door. While the cuffs on their ankles would lock their legs in place. They wouldnât be able to hurt anyone who entered their cell that way.
You took a moment before going over to the first cell. Everyone had been given identifying numbers now, but you still remembered their names and faces. Number 82 was Sangyeon, and you knew he wasnât going to be happy to see you. From the start he had been weary of you, and to now be locked up, he was surely pissed. Yet you had a job to do, so you took a deep breath before scanning your ID card against the cell door. From the other side of the glass you could see Sangyeon get pulled back. Not harshly, but the magnetic force wasnât something he could fight back against. Only once he was securely pinned to the wall did the door slide open. As you stepped in you were met with a death glare. If you didnât need to speak you would have preferred to remain silent, but that would only make matters worse.
âHello againâŚâ
âVolunteer my ass.â
âIâm sorry, this isnât how it was supposed to go.â
âWhat? Changed your mind?â
âNo, they took the project from meâŚâ
âYou expect me to believe anything you say?â
âI donât, but itâs the truth.â
âLet me go!â
âI canât do that.â
âCanât or wonât?â
âCanât⌠so all I can do now is do my best to look after you⌠all of youâŚâ
âFuck off.â
âI just need a blood sample and a new DNA swab, then Iâll go.â
As you reached for Sangyeonâs arm you suddenly stopped as he spit in your face. This behavior you expected, but that didnât mean it wasnât hurtful.
âThereâs your DNA.â
ââŚâ
You made no comment, getting out a cotton swab and getting some saliva off your face before wiping the rest off. Luckily it wasnât that difficult to draw blood and you did so without saying much else. You thanked him before you left, moving on to the next. Unsurprisingly no one was happy with you. There was a lot of colorful commentary each time you entered a cell or total silence. For the most part you repeated the same things, apologizing and trying to explain, but no one really wanted to hear it. You had no issue doing your job though, that is until you were with Juyeon. He had some harsh words for you, and figured since you were so close he could get a shot in. Even with his limbs restrained he still managed to slam his head against yours and knock you to the ground.
You screamed and dropped the sample kit in hand, thankfully not spilling any fluids. Although your cries did attract attention. In a matter of moments one of the guards posted outside came into the cell, seeing the scene before them and immediately acting. While you were recovering from the hit you suddenly heard Juyeon screaming. Your gaze snapped to him, seeing that his collar was going off. You yelled at the guard to stop, forcing yourself to your feet and taking the remote from them. You felt a bit light headed from the sudden motion but you just did your best to focus.
âYou are not to hurt any of them!â You snapped. âThey need to be in good condition for this whole project to get the best results!â
âMaâam, he-â
âI donât care if he hurt me! You are not allowed to hurt him back! Do I make myself clear!?â
âYes, maâam.â
You waited until the guard left before cleaning up the mess you made and finishing what you started. Juyeon was recovering his senses, staring at you as you drew blood.
âDonât expect me to thank you.â
âI wonât. Thank you for your cooperation though.â
It was a relief when you finished gathering all your samples, finally able to return to the lab. You went to your station, labelling everything and noting down in your own project journal how this whole thing had started. There was still a long way to go, and since you were no longer in charge you knew there would be quite a few complications. Besides the aggressive response, the next issue appeared quicker than expected. Once you finished organizing your samples you returned to the holding room, intending to note down their current vitals, hoping they were calm now. Although as you entered you saw another staff bringing them food. Or at least what they intended to pass as food, which was really just slop that supposedly had all the proper nutrition one would need.Â
âWhat the hell is that?â
âLunch.â
âNo itâs not. They are not eating that.â
âThen what do you suppose they eat?â You heard your bossâ voice. âOr will they not eat at all?â
From your initial question you knew the staff member with the slop was just doing as they were told, but once your boss entered you turned your attention to them,
âThey need to be healthy for this whole thing to work. Feeding them that garbage will have the opposite effect.â
âReally?â
âI made it very clear that the participants need to be in the best condition possible. That means not hurting them, and feeding them proper meals.â
âThen whoâs gonna eat the food we prepared for them? Hm? Will you?â
âHuh?â
âTell you what. In exchange for proper meals, you eat the slop in their place. How does that sound?â
âYou think this whole project is a joke?â
âItâs my project, and I can make adjustments at will.â
âFine. Iâll eat the garbage, and they eat properly, deal?â
âDeal.â
This nutritional slop was common and cheap out in the world, so you had never had it before. You were fortunate for that, but now you had to give up your hot meals. You knew this was just your boss being difficult, but you were in no position to argue. The fake food didnât taste all that great, but it was edible, and youâd be getting all the nutrition youâd need to stay alive. So with assurance that your participants would be properly looked after and fed, you could actually focus on the project at hand. You were still running tests on Prometheus and animals, but you now had human DNA to look at it. The first time you introduced Prometheus to human blood, the results were as you expected. There was an attempt at assimilation, but the human cells ultimately died. Even then, this was a good sign. Prometheus recognized human DNA as something to learn about and not consume.
After the first few days all the boys grew quiet. Youâd still go gather blood samples and check their vitals, but none spoke to you. They just watched quietly. It was rather unnerving, but it was better than getting berated, or worse, hurt. At least you were certain your boss was keeping to their word as none of the boys ever had injuries, and they seemed to be in good condition. For the most part the project was going as you intended. You had your candidates, and you were already running tests to figure out how to achieve this human evolution. So now the problem was back to Prometheus itself. Despite all your attempts, changing the DNA to Prometheus ratio, nothing seemed to work. You were hitting a wall again, and you couldnât allow it.
For the moment you decided to take a step back and look over all your data again. You were still getting the same results that you had mentioned in your original proposition. The only difference now was that you had confirmation Prometheus would also try to assimilate with humans too. Regardless of that, you werenât actually making progress. Even if Prometheus had a low level intellect, it was certainly a curious organism. It was eager to learn and wanting to assimilate with the creatures of this planet, so it begged the question as to why. What was the difference between plants and animals to Prometheus that one was food and the other something to assimilate with. Thinking about it and looking it over, you could argue that Prometheus was similar to animals rather than plants.
Animals needed to feed on other organisms like plants in order to survive. So in reality Prometheus saw itself that way too, and acted accordingly. Although it didnât really need food. You couldnât be sure if consuming plants actually fed it, you only knew it increased its overall mass. Not to mention that because of that Prometheus wasnât really allowed near plants, and there had been no signs of deterioration. As far as you understood, consumption was a means to grow in size and nothing more. Although that didnât change the outcome of assimilation. When mixing ratios, even if Prometheus was less than one percent of the animalâs overall body mass, it would still kill the creature. It would take longer compared to a higher percentage, even if just a bit higher, but the difference was only in seconds, less than two overall.
The results basically told you that anything Prometheus touched would die. When it consumed plants nothing was left behind, and when it tried to assimilate it would kill the creature. To a degree you thought it might feel some remorse given that once it killed the creature it tried to assimilate, it never tried to consume it. Maybe because it only consumed living organisms, or maybe it felt bad. Still it tried, and your goal was to find the balance. Preferably more human than Prometheus, but in a manner that would allow both to grow and evolve together.
Another thing you could conclude was that Prometheus moved incredibly fast. It seemed eager to assimilate, and thatâs what ultimately killed the creature. All these test results started to make you feel like a merge wasnât actually possible, but you couldnât give up that easily. So you looked over the samples you did have, trying to find the solution. Oneâs genetic sequence wasnât really complete and oddly enough it seemed Prometheus filled in the gaps. To strengthen oneâs genome would certainly result in a superior being, but Prometheus was overwhelming in general. Thatâs why the result was always death. All the data seemed to say a merge was possible, but getting it to work was the root of the problem. Really Prometheus itself was the problem. It seemed to want this more than anyone else, and that was too much.Â
The ratios didnât matter, as the creatures see Prometheus as this parasite and react negatively. Despite that, Prometheus does manage to assimilate with some DNA strands, it just needs to calm down and move slowly. That would surely help, and then you realized the solution was basically right in front of you. Prometheus couldnât die, not by any means you knew of, especially not freezing temperatures. The idea dawned on you that perhaps by freezing Prometheus it would make them slower, and thus the process of assimilation would move slower as well. Ultimately allowing the body to accept Prometheus and become one single organism. The possibility excited you and you knew you had to try it out immediately.
You gathered a sample of Prometheus and used a miniature cryo chamber in the lab to lower its overall temperature. You started off with a bit below freezing, making sure Prometheus was still functional and seeing this sluggish movement. This was all going well thus far, so you brought Prometheus over to a containment unit where one of the lab mice were. At the moment they were separated by a transparent wall. You made sure Prometheus was still moving, seeing it slowly go towards the mouse and then you removed the wall. You watched anxiously, seeing that the mouse was also curious and approached Prometheus. When the two made contact you started the timer. At first the mouse was distraught over Prometheusâ stickiness, but it wasnât cause for major alarm. It seemed to be working, and then it all fell apart as the mouse squealed and collapsed, falling dead.
You were disappointed, but when you looked at the timer you could confirm the mouse had survived for longer than any of those before. So you studied the little guy, trying to figure out what went wrong, and what went right. Yet nothing really seemed to be different. The organism still saw Prometheus as a threat, and acted to defend itself. In that process, it wound up dead. You thought things over multiple times until you realized you had only solved half the problem. By lower Prometheusâ overall temperature, it was slow enough to assimilate, but the body of the animal still freaked out. Perhaps if the animal was also in a slower, more sedated, state then it would allow itself to merge with Prometheus. So you got another mouse, placing it in a small cryo chamber and getting it into a state of limbo.
Once you were sure the mouse was still alive and doing well you added in Prometheus, once again having placed it in cryo as well. You watched as Prometheus slowly approached the mouse, starting the timer when they made contact. The mouse twitched a bit, but vitals showed it remained alive. Little by little Prometheus seemed to disappear, actually assimilating with the mouse without killing it. You couldnât believe it was actually working, that it was finally working. Although once Prometheus was completely gone nothing seemed to happen. Without thinking, without taking any proper precautions you reached into the containment unit and grabbed the mouse. The creature was cold, but as you examined it you could tell it was still breathing. Perhaps it still needed time to adjust to this major change, and to actually warm up.
With that in mind you placed the mouse in its containment unit, laying it down on a little stack of hay and sticking close. kYou kept an eye on the little mouse and hoped for positive results. Hours went by before the creature began to move again. You were speechless as you watched the mouse move around again although you froze a bit when you realized it was staring directly at you. Maybe you were just imagining it but when you moved to get your notes the mouseâs gaze followed you. This behavior wasnât entirely out of the ordinary but you definitely felt that it was watching you with purpose. You wrote down the process you went through to achieve your first success in your project journal. Then when you looked over, the mouse still had its eyes on you. For a bit you stared back then approached the containment unit cautiously.
You got some food for the little guy, thinking you saw a little bow of appreciation before it began to eat. You werenât sure what to make of this just yet, but you had achieved your goal. One thing you knew for sure right now was that you needed to keep this to yourself, and you needed to run more tests. Just because you had one success, that didnât mean you could just move on to human trials. Besides the obvious fact that humans and animals have different biology, you needed to understand the limitations and all the factors that made this a possibility. With all that data in mind you ran a few more tests, getting another two successes. You were overjoyed, watching your trio of miracles to see what type of changes they had undergone. In reality, to an uninformed person, the three mice probably seemed normal.
There didnât seem to be any sign of higher intelligence. Maybe more awareness, but overall not any insane differences. You did of course test the mice in regards to their adaptability. They were certainly more resistant to fire and cold than before, so it seems they had inherited that from Prometheus. Now with more data, and progress under your belt you returned to testing with human DNA. Youâd need fresh samples so you went to gather them. You made sure to keep a straight face and not seem too eager. Your happiness would probably upset the boys, and you also didnât want anyone else knowing about your special mice. Knowing your boss and this company, theyâd want to try human tests, but you werenât ready for that. So you kept calm and quiet, going about gathering samples as you usually did. Although you were met with a surprise this time around.
âWeâre all gonna get killed hereâŚâ Chanhee mumbled. â⌠arenât we?â
âThatâs not-â
âWeâre not stupid. The others have shown us the results of when⌠that thing touches living beings⌠weâre gonna end up the same wayâŚâ
âNo you wonât, I wonât allow it.â
âLike how this was supposed to be a choice?â
âI am not going to let anyone do anything to you guys until I am certain you will survive. This is my promise to you.â
âAre you really in a position to make promises?â
âIf this company wants success, they have to listen to me. You donât get hurt, you eat properly, and you guys donât go anywhere near Prometheus without my say so. I know itâs gonna sound foolish, but trust me.â
With the fresh samples you gathered you began to run more tests. Messing with temperature and ratios, trying to increase the guarantee success rate. You kept your results to yourself, still not confident even with positive outcomes. You only had eleven participants, and you didnât plan on losing any of them. Then your worst fears came true. You were going to gather more samples when you discovered all the cells were empty. You ran back to the lab, asking where the boys were. One told you they had been taken to the testing room, and you knew what that meant. When you made it over you found eleven cryo pods occupied.
â⌠no, no, NO!â You yelled. âStop this immediately! Weâre not ready to test on humans!â
âOh come on, have more faith in yourself.â Your boss commented. âYour numbers are good. Iâve gone over all your data, you shouldnât be scared.â
âThe success rate isnât high enough!â
âYou know thereâs no such thing as perfection.â
âStop this! Or I will!â
You didnât wait for a response, going over to the nearest cryo pod, intending to shut it off and release the boy inside, but guards were quick to restrain you. Despite your attempts to fight you were pried away, being held in place before your boss.
âYou shouldnât be such a nuisance. Youâre lucky I didnât report to the board that youâve had the solution for weeks now.â
âItâs not ready for testing!â
âIt is, you were just too afraid to try, too afraid to fail. Thatâs why Iâm in charge, someone needs to make the tough calls.â
âThey could all end up dead!â
âNot all of them, not at this point, and you know it.â
âPlease!â
âEnough! If youâre going to interfere then Iâll have you removed from this project.â
ââŚâ
âThatâs what I thought.â
You guiltily glanced over at the pods, seeing that the boys werenât fully conscious, but you could still see eyes on you. Once again, this wasnât how things were meant to go.
âAll the test subjects are hooked up to machines to watch their vitals. The cold temperatures should have them falling unconscious in a bit, and then we can begin.â Your boss explained. âI took into account the best ratios from your notes so there should be no problems.â
You hated the fact all you could do now was watch. One by one the boys seem to drift off. Everything seemed to be alright for the moment, but then the experiment truly began. They were all introduced to Prometheus. As you had seen from previous tests there wasnât much of a physical reaction, but things were happening internally. Given the fact a human was much bigger than a mouse, the assimilation process would take much longer. Your boss and the others werenât really going to stick around, but you refused to leave the boys alone.
âIâll stay and monitor their vitals.â You volunteered. âIâll watch over them.â
âYou expect me to believe you wonât try anything?â
âIf I try to stop things now, Iâd definitely get them killed, and you know it. I have no intention of letting them die.â
âFine. I suppose someone needs to keep an eye on them.â
You were released and left to watch over the boys, although some of the guards stuck around. It was too late to stop anything, so all you could do was make sure things worked out. You checked on each pod, looking over the vitals and the assimilation progress. You wanted to get here, but not like this. So even though this should be a moment of joy, you were terrified. Thankfully everyoneâs vitals were stable, and so far Prometheus wasnât being a problem, nor was the body rejecting them. After a few hours the guards realized all you were doing was monitoring vitals and wouldnât endanger the project, so you were truly left alone with the eleven boys. It was quiet besides the sounds of all the machines. In order to fill the silence you began talking to the boys, or more accurately yourself.
â⌠Iâm really sorry⌠I wanted things to be better than this⌠it should have been your choice to be here⌠to get into those pods⌠Iâm sorry⌠Iâm so sorryâŚâ
ââŚâ
â⌠you know⌠I wonder if any of you would have actually taken me up on my proposition⌠Iâm sure I made it sound so great⌠asking you to volunteer to save the world⌠I guess Iâll never know which of you would have volunteeredâŚâ
ââŚâ
âI ran so many tests⌠the same thing over and over again with minor changes⌠I admit I had a good success rate⌠but I wasnât going to risk your lives so carelessly⌠I wanted better for you guys⌠I wanted to be as close to a guarantee as possible⌠and I think I was almost thereâŚâ
ââŚâ
âIâm sorry⌠Iâm so sorry⌠even if this had gone my way from the start⌠this project wasnât just meant to save humanity⌠it was to save myself first⌠I was afraid of being cast out of this place⌠afraid of the world out there⌠so I figured out some way to make myself useful⌠I didnât want to force this on anyone⌠but I guess even suggesting all this went against my original intentions⌠Iâm sorry⌠Iâm so sorryâŚâ
You knew this was a process that would require hours, but you did not intend to leave for a single moment. Of course you grew tired, but you were too worried about the boys you would only rest for a few minutes at a time. The sounds of the machines would instantly wake you, causing a small spike of adrenaline. It was nothing more than routine noises, but then there was an alert that made you fearful. When you checked the machines you saw that Prometheus had reached the heart, and that was causing the vitals to become unstable. Of course the heart was a vital organ and without it the body would not survive. You cautiously kept tabs on all the boys until this seemed to pass. Probably the first step towards true success.
âYou guys are strong⌠merging with the heart, itâs a good sign for the overall success of this⌠transformation⌠although I guess weâll have to wait and see what happens with the brainâŚâ
ââŚâ
âI had three mice as a success⌠but I couldnât really talk to them⌠so I have no idea what you guys will have to say when this is over⌠or what will happen to you as individuals⌠thatâs really what Iâm afraid of⌠whether youâll be evolved⌠or if Prometheus will just completely take over⌠I can only hope for the best right now⌠so please, stay strong.â
There was a sound you had been waiting for what felt like eternity to hear. The process was complete. You rushed over to pod 16, where Kevin was. You checked the monitors, seeing that it wasnât wrong. The cryo function turned off and then opened the pod. You rubbed your hands together, trying to warm them up. As the pod opened you moved closer to Kevn, caressing his face and trying to coax him to wake up. You knew it had taken a while for the mice to wake after successfully merging with Prometheus, but you were anxious to make sure the boys were alright. After a moment Kevin opened his eyes which startled you. His eyes were completely black, then black tears began to slide down his cheeks.
â⌠youâŚâ
As you were processing Kevin suddenly fell forward, landing in your arms. You werenât prepared for this and you both wound up falling to the ground, Kevin on top of you. He was unconscious once more, so you tried to wake him. Then you heard the other pods start to open up. You glanced over, seeing some of the boys stumble out and fall to the ground. They were obviously disoriented and had similar black eyes and black tears like Kevin.
âBe careful!â
You tried to get Kevin off of you so you could check on the others, but he suddenly came to life. He grabbed your arm, keeping a tight grip.
â⌠youâŚâ
To your own surprise Kevin got up and effortlessly pulled you up with him. He didnât release his hold on you either.
âKevin⌠KevinâŚâ
You got no answer from the boy, and you werenât sure how that made you feel. Yet you shifted focus to get free, but Kevin didnât budge at all. You were certain he was much stronger than before. Since you couldnât move for now you merely looked around. The other boys seemed to have gotten their own footing, glancing at one another with blank stares. Then they all started moving, dragging you along.
âWait, wait, boys, what are you doing? Whatâs going on?â
No one answered you and kept moving. Of course they were going towards the only exit available to them. You tried telling them to stop, to wait, but they clearly werenât listening to you. When you stepped out of the testing room you saw a bunch of guards present with guns drawn. Panic immediately took over.
âNo! No! No! Donât shoot! Theyâre just disoriented and need time to adjust! Donât hurt them!!!â
Once again your voice fell on deaf ears as the guards shot. Although when nothing bad happened you realized they had fired tranquilizer darts at the boys. From initial testing it had been discovered that narcotics had no effect on Prometheus whatsoever, and that applied to the boys now. So of course the tranqs did nothing. You were glad the boys werenât hurt, but this sense of calm did not last. After the tranqs were fired and it was clear they were obsolete, the boys suddenly jumped into action. They began to attack the guards.
âNo! Stop! Stop it, please!â
No one was listening to you and when you were suddenly grabbed by a guard you screamed. They caught you off guard, but because of that you actually got free from Kevinâs grip. Although you were only free for a moment before Kevin pounced on the guard that helped you. For a moment you were on your own before Hyunjae grabbed you, dragging you along as all the guards had been subdued.
âWhat are you guys doing!?â
The lights turned red, signaling the facility was going into lockdown. The sirens started blaring, making all the boys cry out in agony. It seemed they were rather sensitive to sound.
âGuys, look, I canât imagine whatâs going on right now, but you donât have to be afraid. Youâre safe here, so stop fighting and-â
Once the boys recovered they kept moving, and Hyunjae had never lost his grip on you. Even though you kept trying to reason with them, they only ignored you. It made you worry about what would happen to them if they kept being this uncooperative, but things came to a stop when you were at a locked door. Now they were cornered, or so you thought. Sunwoo took your ID card from your pocket and used it to unlock the door. You were stunned, unaware that he knew where that was on you, but also glad to see they were displaying signs of high intelligence. They kept moving, and even if you didnât know where they were going, they seemed to move with purpose. That is until you came to an open area with more guards. A warning shot was fired into the air, telling that this time they had live ammo.
âDonât shoot! Please, you canât hurt-â
âYou are always worrying.â Your bossâ voice could be heard over the intercom. âPrometheus is incredibly strong and resilient.â
âHumans arenât! We have no idea what characteristics have remained after the merge!â
âNo better time to learn than the present.â
To your own surprise the boys moved to surround you, showing that they could hear and understand, but they had been choosing to ignore you.
âBoys, please, stand down, no one has to get hurt.â
Before you could really try to reason with them a loud screeching sound was heard over the intercom. The boys immediately covered their ears and doubled over, crying in agony.
âStop it! Stop! Youâre hurting them!â
âBetter than the ammunition. Or do you prefer we shoot them?â Your boss stated. âTheyâre clearly sensitive to high frequencies so this works better, right?â
You didnât want to admit he was right, but this was surely better than firing upon them, and yourself. The sounds should cause them to pass out in a bit, but before getting near that the lights started flickering. There was no way the power here would fail, yet at the moment you were starting to have doubts. You should have ran the second you had the chance cause the moment the intercoms lost power the boys sprung into action. In fact, it seemed like the power in the area short-circuit, which didnât make any sense. You looked around, seeing sparks fly from electronic devices. You didnât understand what had happened, but that was the least of your problems right now.
Once again the boys were fighting, but you noticed different things this time. They moved in a rather animalistic manner, and they seemed rather inhuman. You werenât sure if you were seeing things right, but you swore Juyeon had sparks flying from his fingertips, and Hyunjae was throwing guards around like paperweights. Maybe it was possible that the merge would have other side effects you wouldnât even think possible. You were pulled from your thoughts as one of the guards grabbed your arm, pulling you along out of danger. Although you only got a few steps away before Jacob jumped the guard that was trying to escort you away. Bits of fire seemed to emerge from the attack and you screamed, stepping back. You had no idea what caused them, but Jacob was soon on you, grabbing your arm.
His touch felt hot, way hotter than normal. You desperately tried to free yourself, but he wasnât loosening his grip. You couldnât help but scream, begging Jacob to let go, and oddly enough he did. Your arm burned where his touch had been and you instinctively stumbled back. You bumped into someone else that way, Haknyeon. Those black eyes were still unnerving, along with the tears, so it was easy for him to hold you close. He seemed to be aware of your injury, grabbing your arm and his touch was actually cool and welcoming. You didnât know what that said about him, but for a moment you felt relief from the burn-like sensation on your arm. Although when Haknyeon spoke you instantly froze.
â⌠youâre⌠deadâŚâ
â⌠whatâŚ?â
Gunfire suddenly erupted, making you snap into action. You screamed and ducked down, seeing rubber bullets on the ground. For a moment you were relieved to see the guns didnât actually have live ammunition, but then you went back to what Haknyeon had just said. This whole time you thought the boys were disoriented and just perhaps moving on instincts, but maybe you had been wrong. They could listen and understand, they were moving with purpose and fighting back. You werenât with them because you so happen to be present when they woke up, no, you were their hostage. They were dragging you along as they knew you were able to get them out of this place, willingly or not. You had to get away from them, but when you tried to get somewhere safe Sangyeon yanked you to your feet and pulled you along.
Even with some form of fire power, the guards were still over powered, and the boys were moving on. Your ID card was used once more and you kept moving. By now you understood they were going towards an exit, wanting to get out of this building. You had no idea how they knew where to go, but that wasnât something to worry about right now. You were desperately trying to free yourself, but Sangyeonâs strength was unmatched. He didnât budge at all, and you were worried about what would happen to you if you made it out with them. You had a moment of relief when you came to the exit and your ID card didnât work. Although that wasnât really going to stop them.
Everyone stepped back to let Hyunjae ram the door, and after a few tries he actually managed to break through. You couldnât fathom the strength needed to break down such a door, but soon enough you were dragged through it and the smell of the outdoors hit you. The building itself was mostly surrounded by nature, but given the circumstances it wasnât that surprising to see so much security. It seems that they had been waiting for the boys to get outside, and had prepared accordingly. You were surrounded on all sides now, and it was clear the boys were vastly outnumbered. You told the boys once again to surrender as they couldnât hope to win a fight like this, but of course they didnât listen to you. Instead they started to fight, and your previous assumption proved to be true.
You saw balls of fire flying around, as well as bolts of lightning. Some, if not all, of the boys had developed inhuman abilities. Thatâs definitely not something you had thought possible, yet the proof was right in front of you. Still, you had a pretty good idea how this was going to end and you needed to get out of the main action. You were alone and figured your best bet was to run back inside the building. The door wasnât that far from you, and since the boys were distracted you made a run for it. A yell made you look back to see two of the others chasing after you. The panic made you stumble in your steps and fall to the ground, although some other guards manage to stop them in their tracks. That didnât change the fact that they were still clearly trying to get to you.Â
So once you snapped out of your daze you scrambled to your feet, continuing where you left off. You got into the building just as more guards approached, heading out. You were relieved, finally feeling like you could catch your breath. From where you were you could still see the fight raging outside. Then your breath caught in your throat as you made eye contact with Younghoon. He seemed to stop for a moment, realizing you were far from reach then everything changed. Somehow all the boys seemed to be in sync as they moved closer to each other, taking in their surroundings before making a break straight for the trees. They managed to brute force their way past the guards and run out into the wilderness.Â
Seeing them run off, you felt relief again and nearly fainted, but a guard managed to catch you. Your vision was fading in and out, but once you regained your senses you realized you were in the lab. A while later your boss came over to give you a debrief on everything that went down. The escape had caused some damage to the facility, but no data was lost, especially the data from the cryo pods. Everything was being gathered now, and clean up was in progress. You were still kinda out of it and half listening, but your boss kept rambling. Even though you were the one being held hostage everything could be seen from the security cameras. The whole ordeal was odd as not once did the boys ever talk to each other, but they moved as one unit. You had been thinking the same, and now that you were out of danger things seemed clearer.
â⌠hive mindâŚâ
âHuh?â
âBy merging them⌠all with Prometheus⌠perhaps it created⌠this hive mind⌠not to mention⌠those extraordinary abilities they manifested⌠thatâs not something we knew could happen⌠we might have if I ran more testsâŚâ
âYou say that but it doesnât change the fact this was successful! All eleven were successful, itâs incredible!â
âYeah⌠and your successes ran off.â
âWeâll catch them and you know it. They canât get far. Although you nearly ran off with them.â
âThatâs not true. I was always their hostage and means of escape⌠they were likely going to kill me once they got out⌠make me pay for all I did to themâŚâ
âYet here you are.â
âCause I got away from them⌠and they were already outside⌠it would be stupid to risk their freedom just to get revenge on meâŚâ
âWell, once we get them back theyâll be secured properly, so no need to worry. You have plenty of data to review in the meantime.â
It took a few days for you to finally settle down from the whole ordeal, but it didnât make the anxiety go away. Sure you were safe thanks to the company, but the boys were out there, and you were sure they still wanted revenge. Although all you could do was wait. They were extremely valuable to the company, so you were sure a lot of resources were put into getting them back safely. Theyâd probably come back injured, but having them somewhere secure and knowing their whereabouts would put you at ease. That is until the news finally came back that they had escaped. According to records they basically vanished into thin air. The search would continue, but the initial leads had gone cold, and the whole operation was starting from scratch.
You tried to remind yourself that you were safe even if they were still out there, but you didnât think theyâd drop their revenge. After all you did, theyâd surely want pay back, and that dread weighed on your shoulders. You feared for the day your paths would cross again and you were certain they would some day. Even as time passed that fear didnât subside. Youâd have nightmares of that day, of an alternative ending where you got hurt, where you didnât make it out alive. Of course you took a break from the project, well deserved and needed, but things still needed to continue. The project itself was a success, and even with the initial participants missing, you had all the data to try again. Yet any attempt to recreate this success failed, and you had to witness multiple deaths you had hoped to avoid.
Your boss wanted to blame you for the failure, but there really wasnât any explanation. The data showed a path to success and thatâs what was being replicated. You argued your new participants didnât actually meet the criteria the initial eleven did, which was incredibly important, but they argued back it shouldnât matter. The whole point of this project was to save humanity as a species, not just a few individuals. The idea was to start with the healthy ones and expand from there, but the truth was, without being able to properly examine the first successes, it was safe to assume there was something you were missing. Eventually your boss caved and found you proper participants, but assimilation still failed. Now even you were at a loss. You couldnât understand what was wrong even though practically everything was the same.
This couldnât continue, not until you knew for sure what the problem was. Your boss agreed, thankfully, but you knew the truth. Without examining the original eleven, there likely wouldnât be any more successes. In all honesty you didnât want another one, you were terrified of what would happen then. You didnât understand why Prometheus wasnât assimilating anymore. It was trying, but in the end it would kill the host. From all those failures you gathered the problem was Prometheus, but that didnât make much sense, not when it had worked before. The only thing you could think of was that Prometheus itself no longer wanted to merge with humans, but that really didnât make any sense. At one point your boss even suggested you go out to find the test subjects once more, but you adamantly refused.
They teased you, saying you were afraid of running into one of the eleven. That was true, and your silence certainly confirmed that, but you did remind your boss of the fact those boys were out for revenge. When the initial escape happened the guards had been ordered to protect you, so the company was well aware of your value, and at this point they likely wouldnât allow you to step out, even if you wanted to. Even if the eleven werenât caught, you were still the companyâs best bet in repeating the success and recreating it for a wider group of people. Over time your fear grew a bit dull, but it remained. You were always afraid of the day theyâd find you, and it seemed like nothing would prevent that. So when the news spread around that one of the eleven had been caught, you could already tell this wasnât going to go well.
⏏⏏⏏⏏⏏⏏⏏⏏⏏⏏⏏
Your gaze was on 67, Younghoon, and all the restraints that kept them in place. Logically you were safe, or at least you kept telling yourself that. Then when Younghoon tilted his head to the side, practically shifting his gaze towards you despite being blindfolded, you swallowed nervously. He was surely listening, and now well aware of your presence. There was no way he knew it was you, he couldnât, so you just had to gather your samples and leave. No talking, no dragging things out, just work fast and efficiently. Although as you walked over to get your tools you realized his blinded gaze was following you. That made you incredibly nervous, but you tried to ignore it and just do your job.
You got your gloves on, getting a needle and alcohol swab. As you pulled up a chair next to Younghoon you froze. He was staring right at you despite his lack of vision. He knew that, and he knew that it made you uneasy. Or worse, somehow he knew exactly who you were. You pushed that thought to the side and grabbed his arm, disinfecting it with an alcohol wipe. Since he was gagged you wouldnât be able to do a mouth swab, so youâd need a few extra vials of blood from him. You found a vein and inserted the needle, getting your first vial. At first you saw red blood being drawn, but right before your eyes it turned black. Instinctively you stopped, but by then it was already too late. The vial in your hand exploded and you screamed, stepping away. Black blood had landed on your clothes, and worse of all, you saw that it was moving.
This wasnât just blood, it was Prometheus. That made the panic worse as you desperately tried to get it off to no avail. It kept you distracted from realizing the needle in Younghoonâs arm basically left an opening, and more black blood spilled out. Most fell to the ground but bits were climbing up Younghoonâs arm. Somehow it managed to free him of his restraints,deactivating the collar, and only then did you get some idea of what was truly going on. You looked up to see Younghoon getting the gag off and falling to the ground, vomiting more black blood, more than what one would deem normal.
Thatâs when you realized all the black blood on the floor was moving in your direction. Before you could think to run the black blood had gotten under you, climbing up your legs. You continued to scream, more focused on the substance climbing up you to realize the initial black blood on you got to your neck, forming a ring and starting to choke you. Instinctively you reached up to get it off, but you were fruitlessly clawing at your neck. You struggled to breathe and ultimately collapsed to the floor, falling into a giant puddle of darkness. More and more of your body was being covered in this black blood. It got to your arms, forcing your hands away from your neck and pinning them to your side. Then you felt the cold substance on your face. You quickly shut your mouth, not wanting to consume anything, but then you felt that coldness on your lips.Â
It had created a gag similar to duct tape, silencing you completely. Then it did the same to cover your eyes, acting as a blindfold. You couldnât move much anymore, you couldnât see anything or make a sound. All you could do was listen, so now you were the one fully restrained. You cried out despite the gag, trying to free yourself but you were completely trapped. You felt as this substance crawled all over your body, becoming something akin to a second skin. You didnât know what was going to happen, but as you heard heavy breathing and footsteps approach you grew still. There was no doubt whose presence you were sensing near you, but it didnât make things any less terrifying. You flinched when you felt a hand on your head, the only part of you left untouched by the black blood, except for the gag and blindfold. You couldnât move away even if you wanted to, but you were at least glad his touch was light.
âSorry about all of this, but we needed to be sure we had you secured and safe first. Thereâs no need to worry about anything else, we wonât try to assimilate.â
You pondered his words for a moment, slowly processing everything. If you werenât so freaked out you might have appreciated all this new information. Prometheus was able to alter its mass and fluidity, not to mention come in contact with living organisms without trying to consume or assimilate. Although before anything could truly set in alarms started blaring. Security would surely arrive soon, but you werenât so sure theyâd be able to subdue Younghoon considering he escaped so easily. Then it dawned on you he was never captured, he came willingly with a plan in mind.
âThe others will be here soon, so we should get going. Come on.â
You felt Younghoon grab your arms and help you to your feet, but you still felt this weight on you. In reality, you didnât want to go anywhere with him, but you didnât have a choice. Your body moved on its own, something forcing you to walk. Once again an impressive feat you couldnât really appreciate. It was terrifying to have someone else move your body, moreso considering the fact you were walking blind. Your hands had been forced together in front of you, as if your wrist were cuffed, and you were certain you were walking behind Younghoon. You couldnât hear much over the sirens, but sudden screams startled you.
It didnât really make sense why you had been spared like this, but the answer was obvious. This was all some elaborate trap to get you and now they had what they wanted. Now the plan was surely to escape, and if Younghoon easily got in, it would likely be easy for him to get out. Not to mention the fact he said the others were coming. All this effort just to get you out, it didnât make sense as you were sure they wanted you dead. Unless they had other plans for you first. If they were going to kill you quick and mercifully, Younghoon would have done it already. No, you were told getting to you was the first priority, along with keeping you safe. They were gonna make you pay for what you put them through. That realization made your heart pound in your chest, and you tried to force your body to stop. You didnât want to go anywhere with them.
âHey, hey, easy, relax.â You heard Younghoonâs voice try to sooth you. âWe have a few stops before we leave, but itâll be quick, promise.â
Those words didnât really bring any comfort, and your body was effortlessly moved forward. It could easily subdue any sort of resistance you put up, so it was best to comply. You didnât know the place inside and out, which meant you had no idea where you were going. The lack of knowledge made you more curious when you came to a stop and Younghoon took your ID card from you. The sound of a door sliding open made you nervous. You didnât think you were anywhere near an exit, but you could be wrong.
âWeâre here to get some friends.â
You had no idea what he meant by that, then you suddenly felt something furry in your hands. You freaked out at first, but soon realized what you were holding. It was one of the lab mice. The little creature squealed, and soon another two were in your hands as well. At first you didnât understand what was going on, but then it clicked. You were holding three mice, your three original successes with Prometheus. This wasnât just some trap to get you, but Younghoon and the others intended to take everything relating to Prometheus. Eventually you felt hands touching yours, moving the little creatures into your pockets and then you were on the move again. It seemed that nothing got in Younghoonâs way, so you didnât know if he was dealing with it, or you had just been lucky so far.
You tried to drown out the screams you heard every now and then, but it was hard to ignore the chill running down your spine. When you came to another stop you didnât know what it meant, but it wasnât quiet for long. You began to hear multiple voices, and they felt somewhat familiar. To your own shock the blindfold was lifted and you needed a moment to adjust to the light. Once you could see again two surprises were awaiting you. For starters it wasnât just you and Younghoon, a few of the other boys were now present. The other surprise, or rather confirmation, was to see Younghoon had blood splatters all over him, as did the other boys. You really didnât have any idea what was going on around you. All the boys were smiling, and they assured you that you would be leaving soon, so there was no need to worry. You made an attempt at talking, but the gag kept you quiet and you were ignored.
After a moment the blindfold returned and you were back in darkness, and soon moving again. You couldnât make out the voices talking around you, and even the screaming seemed to fade, but when it got quiet you got nervous. You stopped moving, and you couldnât make out anything besides the siren. Then a loud screeching noise came over the intercom. You knew immediately what that was, and in a matter of moments the blindfold and gag seemed to slip off you. Once you adjusted to the light you could see the boys holding their hands over their ears and yelling from the pain. You knew you were scared of them, and still technically trapped, but that didnât mean you wanted to see them get hurt. You looked up to find the nearest camera, screaming at whoever was doing this to stop, but the all too familiar and annoying voice of your boss came through.
âIsnât it nice that they all came back on their own.â
âStop it! Youâre hurting them!!!â
âHere I thought youâd be grateful.â
âStop! This isnât-â
Your words were cut short as you started to hear laughter. You slowly glanced back at the other boys, seeing smiles on their faces once more. They were just messing with you, and they seemed very proud of their joke. Eric even came over to your side, wrapping an arm around your shoulder and looking up at the camera too.
âNice try, but that doesnât really work on us.â
Before you could think to say something, to do something, the gag and blindfold were back. You were at their mercy once more and you were soon on the move. This time there was way more screaming, and you dreaded for the moment it would be in that position. When things got quiet again you began to tremble, nervous of what would happen to you now. You kept walking and walking, and then something felt strange. A sudden wave of dizziness seemed to wash over you, and you stumbled in your steps. You didnât fall to the ground but were stopped so you could regain your composure, then the blindfold moved away completely. You got your sight back and you were absolutely stunned as you took in your surroundings.
âWelcome home.â
Moments ago you had been at your company, but now you were outside, and not just outside the building. No, all you could see around you was nature and a brand new structure stood before you. There was no way to know where you were, but you were certainly away from the safety and familiarity of your company. The building before you looked like some abandoned apartment complex. Black writings and symbols scattered the walls. Even if the gag had been removed you wouldnât know what to say. You still didnât really understand what was going on, or how this was possible. Yet you only had a moment to process before you were moving again, silently following the boys into the building.Â
To your own surprise it wasnât as abandoned as you thought. There were other people present, a few glancing your way but nothing stood out. This whole place actually seemed normal, but in the back of your mind you knew something was off. You kept moving, going deeper into this building, and trying to keep a mental note of where to go as soon as you had the chance. Then you came to this giant open room, seeing a refurbished cryo pod in the center, along with more creepy writing decorating the floor and walls. Now that you were in such a place you were finally released of all your restraints. For a moment you stood tall, but all the fear caught up to you and your legs gave out. With nothing holding you up anymore you collapsed to the ground. You stared at the ceiling and a few desperate words spilled out.
â⌠please⌠please donât kill meâŚâ Your begging started off as a whisper. â⌠Iâm sorry⌠Iâm sorry for everything⌠for everything I put you through⌠Iâm sorry⌠I never wanted to hurt any of you⌠please⌠please donât kill me⌠pleaseâŚâ
âWeâre not gonna kill you.â Jacob said. âWeâd never do that.â
â⌠thatâs not true⌠you wanted me dead beforeâŚâ
âHuh? What are you- oh, that⌠Haknyeon!â
âWhat did I do!?â
âApoligze for what you said when we escaped!â
âWhen we escaped? What did I- oh⌠oh I am so sorry.â Haknyeon explained. âI hadnât fully regained my grasp on words back then. I meant to say you were surely dead if you stayed at that company.â
âI⌠I donât believe youâŚâ
âLook, weâre sorry we couldnât get you out sooner.â Sunwoo explained. âWe needed a good plan if we were gonna break you out, but we kept an eye on you this whole time.â
âYou⌠you what? How could you possibly-â
The little creatures in your pocket squealed and made their way out, running off out of sight. It was a silly idea really, but it actually made sense. If Prometheus had created this hive mind among the boys, perhaps everything relating to Prometheus was connected. It never really split off into other pieces, it was always one organism, one entity, and it still seemed to be.
âYeah, the mice kept tabs on you for us.â
â⌠rightâŚâ
You werenât sure you believed them despite your own theories, but at least you were still alive. Maybe they were telling the truth and wouldnât hurt you, but you couldnât be sure of anything regarding them right now. Hyunjae and Juyeon helped you to your feet, although you were still a bit unsteady.
âWe know you must have a lot of questions.â Sangyeon mentioned. âBut right now itâs best if you get some rest. Youâve had an exciting day.â
ââŚâ
âWe have a place for you so-â
âWait.â
âYes?â
â⌠why⌠how come Prometheus didnât try to assimilate me⌠back at the lab⌠it was all-â
âWe donât do that recklessly anymore. Itâs reserved for those we deem worthy, and willing.âÂ
âThen it was you⌠youâre the reason why Prometheus didnât assimilate with anything after your escape.â
âCorrect. Youâre very clever. Now letâs save the questions for later.â
Hyunjae and Juyeon escorted you elsewhere. You came to a room with the basics, and you were set down on the bed. The boys told you to rest and not worry about anything as everything was taken care of. Whatever that meant. Of course when they left you checked your surroundings. The door was in fact locked, and the only window in the room was too small to climb out of. Not to mention you were a couple floors above ground. Despite their smiles, you were their prisoner. Even if they said they wouldnât kill you, there was no way of knowing what came next. For now your only choice was to rest and regain your strength. You were tired, and perhaps this whole thing was just some weird extended nightmare. Either way you placed your head on the pillow and closed your eyes, drifting off to sleep.
âĽâĽâĽâĽâĽâĽâĽâĽâĽâĽâĽ
A knock at the door pulled you from your sleep, confirming your reality. You werenât dreaming. You had been kidnapped and were now being held prisoner. You sat up as you heard the door unlock, seeing Jacob walk in with a tray in hand.
âI figured you might be hungry so I brought you something to eat.â
You stayed quiet and merely watched as Jacob set down the tray next to you on the bed. You only stared at the food. You were hungry, but you werenât sure what this was. It looked edible, but looks could be deceiving.
âWe didnât put anything in the food. Itâs perfectly safe to eat.â
ââŚâ
Jacob sighed. âI get you donât trust us, so why donât you come with me and we can answer all your questions. Then Iâm sure youâll eat.â
Jacob walked out, leaving the door wide open and you alone. You werenât sure he meant what he said or if this was some kind of test. You got up and slowly approached the door, peeking out to see Jacob a few feet down the hall. He glanced back at you, gesturing for you to follow him, and you did. The thought of running did cross your mind, but you honestly wanted answers more than anything. For months you had been curious about what had become of the boys, even if you were terrified of seeing them again too. Jacob led you back to the grand room you had originally been brought to. Although this time you noticed Chanhee in the cryo pod.
âDonât worry about Chanhee, heâs alright, just needs to cool down a bit after the whole ordeal. It was very exciting and well worth it.â
â⌠whyâŚâ
âHm?â
âI understand going back to take back every bit of Prometheus, but why take me too?â
âIt hasnât clicked yet?â
âWhat are you talking about?â
âThe plan was always to escape with you. We just failed the first time. I blame lack of communication, but we were also still⌠adjusting to everything. Sorry though, for leaving you behind. We didnât want to but-â
âYou risked being recaptured if you tried to come back for me. I donât hold it against you or anything if thatâs what youâre worried about. I was fine.â
âThatâs not entirely true.â Kevin spoke up, entering the room. âYou must have been so scared the whole time. Worried about us coming back to hurt you.â
ââŚâ
âWe never meant to hurt you back then either, but everything was so new and we had no control. We just wanted to get out of that hellish place more than anything.â
â⌠Iâm sorryâŚâ
âYou have nothing-â
âI do. This whole project wasnât just about saving humanity⌠it was selfish⌠it was to save myselfâŚâ
âWe know.â
âHuh?â
âWe heard you⌠when we were in the pods.â
âOh⌠everything?â
âBasically.â
âIâŚâ
âWe also werenât ignorant to what was going on around us.â
You glanced over when you heard Sangyeon talk, seeing him by the cryo pod. He was checking Chanheeâs vitals and then turned his attention towards you.
âYou made sacrifices for our sake. You did what you could to insure we werenât hurt, and that we were fed properly. Given the circumstances, we had it pretty good. Not to mention you never left our side when our lives were on the line, thank you. You always looked after us even when we were being difficult. We should apologize for that.â
âNo, no⌠I understand your actions back then⌠it was justified and I donât really need an apology. Iâm still just sorry for everything.â
âYou donât have to be. You gave us a wonderful gift. Because of you we were able to survive.â
âNo, that was your own strength.â
âNot entirely.â
âHuh?â
âYou may not believe it, but Prometheus was always aware of your kindness. Just as you understood, it also wanted to merge and trusted you would help it achieve that. Although the final piece was us. Despite our initial feelings, by the time we were put in those pods we wanted this merge to work as well. Not just for survival, but to achieve what you wanted.â
âSo⌠you were willing⌠when you were in those pods?â
âYes. All of us were.â
âThatâs the key⌠isnât it? Thatâs why Prometheus never actually merged with anyone else after you were gone. You werenât preventing it, not really, itâs that none of my other participants were willingâŚâ
âMaybe if they had been given the proper care we were given by you, their chances would have been better.â
You stumbled back a step, Kevin quickly at your side to catch you if anything happened. You were alright though, just processing everything. After a moment you started laughing as it was finally dawning on you that the project had truly worked as you wanted. The other failures werenât actually your fault even if they could have been prevented. The boys shared glances with each other, concerned over your actions, but in all honesty you were overjoyed.
âHow⌠how have you guys been? How did you actually escape? How-â
âEasy there.â Sangyeon chuckled. âIâm glad weâre on the same page now, but you still need to regain your strength properly. Which means you have to eat. Do that, let one of the others show you around and then we can get to all these questions, okay?â
âYeah, yeahâŚâ
Kevin escorted you back to your room, glad to see you were in a better and more trusting mood. Now you could take everything in with curiosity instead of weariness. You sat down on the bed, staring at your food again for different reasons.
âYou havenât had a real meal in months, sorry.â
âI had to make sure you guys ate well.â
âWell, it was greatly appreciated. How about I get you some cola.â
Before you could answer Kevin disappeared in a blur, but he returned just as fast. You were quite amazed by his abilities, but youâd ask about that later. Kevin opened up a glass bottle of cola for you, offering it up. You couldnât remember when was the last time you had such a drink, and you didnât even think to ask where he got it from. Although when you took a sip you gagged a bit, finding the taste to be a bit off.
âI⌠I donât think thatâs what cola is supposed to taste like.â
âHow would you know, you havenât had it in years I bet. Not to mention youâve been eating trash these last couple of months.â
âTrue. It was worth it though.â
âWas it?â
âYeah, and Iâll stick to water for now.â
Kevin stuck around as you ate, and you had to admit the food was good. The vegetables tasted fresh, then again, maybe the food was good cause you havenât had a real meal in a long time. Either way, you were curious about a lot of things here.
âWhere did you even get the food? Itâs good.â
âWe grow a lot of things ourselves.â
âReally? You have a garden?â
âYup, wanna see?â
âAbsolutely.â
Since you were done eating Kevin took you on a bit of a tour. You were curious about the food, so he took you down to the gardens. They were at the back of the building, so you hadnât seen it when you first arrived. Even though the meteor shower had devastated a lot of civilization, nature always finds a way to flourish. Here was proof. The people here had built some beautiful gardens and had all kinds of fruits and vegetables growing. There were some familiar faces around too. You saw Changmin and Sunwoo picking some fruits, going over to see them. They were happy to see you around as well.
âGood morning, y/n, glad to see you up and about.â
âYeah, Kevin was just showing me around. Itâs wonderful that youâve built this community.â
âIt took some time to get to this point.â Changmin commented. âBut itâs ours.â
âWe wouldnât even be in such a good position if not for Changmin.â Sunwoo added. âHeâs the real deal.â
âHm? What do you mean?â
âGo on, show her.â
You werenât sure what they were talking about, and Changmin seemed shy as well, but he eventually gave in. You saw a soft glow come from his hands, realising he was emanating light.
âYou⌠oh my gosh⌠you can basically create sunlight⌠even a cloudy day wouldnât prevent these plants from getting their daily dose of sunlight. Thatâs incredible.â
âItâs not just me, Haknyeon is basically my partner in crime.â
âHaknyeon?â
âYeah, heâs over there watering the plants. He keeps the irrigation system flowing at all times.â
You looked back over to where Changmin had gestured to, seeing Haknyeon but not the way you thought. Instead of watering the plants with a watering can or hose, he seemed to be controlling a stream of water over the plants and basically making it rain. Your eyes went wide seeing that, once again amazed by the new abilities the boys were displaying.
âThatâs incredibleâŚâ
âDo you know how we got such powers?â Sunwoo asked. âCause I certainly donât get it.â
âI donât understand how you could manifest such powers. My guess would be some influence from your previous environment before the change, but I canât be certain. Not without studying your DNA that is.â
âWe donât really have a lab for you here.â
âThatâs fine. Somethings like this might not be able to be explained by science. What abilities do you have, Sunwoo?â
âI didnât think I had any at first, but Iâve noticed Iâm way more durable than the others. I rarely get hurt anymore.â
âSee, that I can understand. Prometheus displayed incredible durability, and you seemed to have gotten that tenfold. You sound basically indestructible.â
âI feel that way.â Sunwoo joked. âI could take over showing you around if youâd like. Kevinâs super speed is usually needed all over the place.â
âI bet it is. I have no problem switching tour guides.â
âThen Iâll leave you in Sunwooâs capable hands.â Kevin remarked. âDonât get into any trouble now.â
âWe wonât. At least I donât think so.â
Kevin was gone in the blink of an eye, leaving you with Sunwoo and the others. You stuck around in the garden for a while longer, seeing that everything here seemed well taken care of. Afterwards Sunwoo took you back inside, explaining a few things to you. He showed you where everyone gathered to share meals, the huge kitchen, the common area. This whole place was incredible, and everyone seemed to get along well.
âHow did you guys do it?â
âDo what?â
âThis place⌠building a community like this isnât easy. Especially when the world ends.â
âWell, it certainly took some time. Originally we just stumbled upon this place when we escaped. It seemed abandoned but there were some people here. They were kind enough to help us, and once we were back to our old selves we returned the favor. Especially once we understood how to use our powers.â
âWhere are we exactly? A place like this would surely be known about.â
âNot exactly. When we first arrived there were only a handful of people, but as we began to build our community, I guess word kind of spread. Other people began showing up, looking for sanctuary, and we had no reason to turn them away. We do prefer to keep things quiet given who we are. If that company were to find this place, everyone here would be in danger.â
âYeah. You guys are more of a target now than before.â
âSo are you, but this place isnât easy to find anyway, so donât worry too much.â
You wanted to trust in Sunwooâs words, but you knew that worry would always be at the back of your mind. You had no idea what state they had left the company in, but they had certainly taken everything from your project, you included. Still, seeing this place brought a smile to your face. This was part of your vision, a new world being created with peace at its core. All around you were just the seedlings, but there was something else you were curious about.
âSunwoo.â
âHm?â
âHave you guys⌠how do I say this⌠allowed Prometheus to⌠merge with anyone else?â
âNo, we canât do such a risky thing. Back at the lab the whole transformation was in a controlled environment, and we had you monitoring us. It was safe, but out here, itâs far too dangerous.â
âI see⌠then why do you have a cryo pod? Where did you even get it?â
âWe found one in a scrap yard a while back. Younghoon fixed it up and keeps it running.â
âIf youâre not using it with Prometheus⌠then whatâs it for?â
âWhen we use our powers we get overwhelmed. You can say we overheat. Itâs nothing to worry about, but the cryo pod helps us speed along recovery.â
âAh, using your abilities excessively would cause your cells to be incredibly active. The cold would surely help ease things.â
âYup. The cold was the key to your success, and itâs still very helpful.â
You wound up heading back inside, going to the grand room. Chanhee was still in the cryo pod, and you saw Younghoon and Juyeon present. They seemed to be checking the systems and making sure everything was running smoothly.
âHey, I heard you were up and about.â Juyeon smiled. âItâs good to see you on your feet. How are you feeling?â
âIâm alright, doing much better now.â
âThatâs good to hear. Has Sunwoo been giving you the tour?â
âYup. What youâve built here is incredible.â
âThank you, we do our best.â
At that moment the machine started beeping. Panic shot through you as you remembered how alert you were back in the lab when the boys were in the cryo pods, but you had nothing to worry about here. Chanhee had woken up, and he stumbled out of the pod. Instinctively you reached out to catch him, ignoring his cold touch. He needed a moment to register everything, but a big smile bloomed on his face when he saw you.
âHello there, itâs so good to see you.â
âHi, Chanhee, how are you feeling?â
âIâm good, I feel much better now.â
âYou were in there for a while, what kind of powers do you have that youâve been using excessively?â
âThey havenât told you?â
âTold me what?â
âI can teleport.â
âYou can what!? How is that evenâŚ? Wait, so, youâre the reason why you all managed to escape back then. I was told you basically disappeared in the blink of an eye.â
âYup. It was a bit of an accident honestly, and thatâs how we all wound up here.â Chanhee managed to stand on his own, stretching. âI was out for a few days after that.â
âI⌠I canât comprehend where youâd even get powers like that.â
âWeâre just that special, donât ya think?â
âYou certainly are.â
You didnât expect to freeload, and you were more than happy to help around the place. As you settled in you saw how everything worked and how everyone did their part to maintain things. Of course you got to see more of the boys in action too. It really took you by surprise one day when you realized how different they looked. When you first met them they were doing what they needed to in order to survive. Then they were silent and angry creatures once locked up. You feared them and now they seemed so happy with bright smiles on their faces. If you didnât know any better youâd think nothing bad ever happened in the world, or to them, and this was just a little slice of paradise. They were all really happy to have you around, as it was what they always wanted, but of course there was more going on.
Even if things seemed so well, over time you noticed something off. Or maybe you just saw it as being weird given you were a person of science. It was hard to ignore the fact some, if not all, the people here worshipped the eleven boys like gods. They did have extraordinary powers, and had that aura around them. Thankfully the boys were just humble and didnât think too much of how the others acted or treated them. This place was home to all of them. Besides, you had seen other sides to them you knew theyâd likely prefer to keep to themselves. Little by little youâd stumble upon the other boys using their powers. Juyeon could control electricity, so he was basically the power source that kept this whole place running. He kinda let himself be used as a battery, filling up generators and making sure everything kept working here.
Since this place didnât turn people away they were always working on expansion. Thatâs when you got to see Hyunjaeâs true strength. It was certainly inhuman and a lot more things about him made sense too. Another time while you were helping in the kitchen you got to see Jacob in action. His ability to control fire certainly made cooking more fun, and you understood how he hurt you back then. It had always been an accident. What wasnât an accident though was Younghoon. You had been cleaning when you heard some noises, curiosity pushing you to investigate. You wound up finding Younghoon with his head underwater. Panic took over and you pulled him out, frantically wiping water off his face and making sure he was alright. As he caught his breath he merely smiled and laughed.
âIâm alright, promise.â
âWhat the hell were you doing!?â
âJust trying to quiet things down.â
âHuh?â
âIâm a technopath.â
âTechnopath? That meansâŚâ
âI can control technology. So everything here⌠talks to me⌠it can get a bit loud and overwhelming at times. When my headâs in the water, it gets quiet, and the cold helps too.â
âOh, I guess the cryo pod wouldnât work all that well for you.â
âNot really.â
âStill, thereâs got to be a better way.â
âDonât worry, if anything were to happen, Haknyeon would know right away.â
âSo heâs basically connected to all the water here.â
âYou got it.â
âA lot of your abilities donât make much sense, but at the same time they do.â
âReally?â
âHow you actually manifested such powers, thatâs beyond me, but look at you. When I first met you, technology surrounded you, and now youâre much closer to it. The connection between you and your powers makes sense, kinda.â
âYeah, I can see it. Although Iâm still working on some things.â
âIf thereâs anything I can help with just let me know.â
âWe will.â
You learned the ropes and found your own rhythm in no time. It was nice to step away from all the science and not spend your days in a sterile lab. You had fresh air and friendly faces all around. You could certainly grow accustomed to such a place. Although you didnât know everything that went on here. One day while in the garden you heard someone mention that scouts had returned, and Hyunjae was needed.
âScouts?â
âWe have some of our people go out to get supplies since we donât have everything here, and sometimes they bring new people back too. Iâll be back so just stay here.â
Hyunjae didnât give you a chance to answer before he left. You wanted to go with and see, especially to welcome the new people. So you got up to follow, looking for where Hyunjae had gone. You ultimately found him out front, near the same place you had first arrived. Sangyeon was there too, as were Kevin and Chanhee. It was quite a welcome, and you felt that you shouldnât interfere. You merely watched as Sangyeon welcomed the new people, going over the rules and expectations for them going forward. Then things got weird. Sangyeon cut his wrist, black blood spilling into a bowl. He then offered the bowl to the new ones, asking them to drink in order to remain. To your own surprise two of the four accepted the request, drink from the bowl. Whereas the other two seemed weary of the whole thing, rightfully so.
Moments later the two that had consumed Sangyeonâs blood collapsed, seizing, and prompting the other two to run off in a panic. Of course they didnât get far with Kevin and Chanhee around. The would-be runaways were caught and held down by Hyunjae as Sangyeon forced his blood down their throats. The scene before you was horrific, and you could barely begin to understand what was actually happening. You wanted to interfere, to question what was happening, but as you took a step forward there was suddenly a hand over your mouth and someone dragging you back. You squirmed but were no match for the othersâ strength. It wasnât until you were elsewhere that you were finally released, seeing Younghoon.
âWhat the fuck was that!?â
âItâs nothing you need to worry about.â
âAre you joking?â
âIâm not. Thereâs nothing you need to concern yourself with.â
âYounghoon-â
âLet it go. Iâm sure Sangyeon will explain all this later.â
You could argue all you wanted, but you knew you werenât going to get any answers right now. So you let it go, making a note to find Sangyeon later and confront him about this. It wasnât just horrifying, but had other implications as well. You did need time to sort out your thoughts before going off to search for answers. The best place to start was the grand room. That was the center of this whole place, and was rarely empty. You expected to see Sangyeon in the cryo pod, but it was empty. Instead you were drawn to a tub of water in the room. The water was rippling slightly, and as you approached you saw just how dark the water was. You would think it was dirty water, but you knew better.
Against your better judgement you reached out towards the water, but before you could touch it someone emerged from its depths. Sangyeon sat up, taking in a deep breath. You stumbled back with a yell, managing to stay on your feet. Although you didnât remain unnoticed for long. Sangyeon soon became aware of your presence, looking over at you with black eyes. The silence and the stare sent a chill down your spine. He didnât say anything and got out of the tub, getting a towel you hadnât seen and cleaning himself up. You werenât sure what to make of the whole scene, but you certainly had more questions. You needed a second to compose yourself, clearing your throat to speak but he beat you to it.
âApologies. I didnât mean to scare you.â
âI⌠Iâm fineâŚâ
âAre you?â
âUh⌠no, actually, I saw the new recruits your scouts brought. I donât appreciate being lied to.â
âWe never lied to you.â
âI was told you donât spread Prometheus. That itâs too risky, and yet-â
âNo one else here has been assimilated, but what we do is necessary for peace.â
âNecessary for peace? Do you hear yourself? What are you even doing with Prometheus here?â
âAs you know, we sort of have a hive mind here. By drinking my blood the new commers join in that.â
âSo youâre using Prometheus like this infection, like a parasite, to make people docile.â
âItâs to help.â
âIf that was true then why did you lie to me about it?â
âBecause we werenât sure how youâd take it.â
âRight. Then tell me, am I infected?â
âNo.â
âAnd how exactly am I supposed to believe you?â
âThe gift you gave us was meant to heal, and thatâs what we do. You surely know the people who come here arenât saints. Drug addicts and sinners come here looking for help, or trying to be wolves in sheepâs clothing. Bringing them in our way allows them to be the best version of themselves. We help with withdrawal, give them new purpose, and everyone is happier because of it. Youâve seen it yourself.â
âAs if this happiness isnât something youâve forced on others. Yes, some willingly consume Prometheus, but you forced it on those who donât.â
âWe canât have people going back and spreading rumors about us. It would put everyone here in danger, and even if they resisted at first, they found peace here in the end.â
âYou took away their choice.â
âSo did you.â
ââŚâ
âWe donât hold it against you though. It wasnât really you after all.â
You sighed. âIs there anything else you want to tell me?â
âNothing comes to mind.â
âThen what exactly is your plan here? To just live quietly, hoping the company doesnât find you, especially after you took everything from them.â
âOur goals are the same as yours. They always have been.â
âWhat?â
âWe want to help the world, to heal it.â
âBy infecting everyone with Prometheus, is that it? Your hive mind allows you to control all the people here and keep the peace, so you want to do that on a global scale?â
âWhy ask these questions if you already know the answer?â
âI⌠I donât know how to feel here⌠you canât just force this⌠people should have a choiceâŚâ
âYou keep talking about choices knowing very well there really arenât any. Not even for you.â
âHuh?â
âThe world was destroyed, everyone had to make hard choices to survive. Thatâs exactly what you did when you created your little project. You talked about wanting us to volunteer, yet the second you marked us as a potential candidate there was no longer a choice. Regardless of what you wanted we were all taken. We were going to end up in those pods no matter what you did, and you know it.â
âYou were still willing in the end, you chose not to resist and thatâs ultimately what allowed you to survive. You chose to let-â
âThat doesnât change the fact we were taken. That doesnât change the fact we were locked into those pods. That doesnât change the fact we all believe we were going to die in that place.â
ââŚâ
You were a hypocrite, you were ignorant, trying to preach choice when the boys didnât have one. You took it from them whether you meant to or not. Still, you knew where you stood.
âMaybe we had all our choices taken from us⌠but we shouldnât be like them⌠youâre not honest about what happens when you offer your blood, and you force it on those who donât want it, thatâs not right.â
âYou forced it on us.â
âI⌠I know but-â
âAnd it had the best results.â
âHuh?â
âIf I could go back I wouldnât change a thing. This may not have gone down as you intended, but you wanted to save the world, yourself included. Look around, youâve succeeded.â
âNo⌠not like thisâŚâ You took a step back. âI need to thinkâŚâ
âY/n-â
âLet me⌠thinkâŚâ
You didnât want to hear anymore, you couldnât. At some point you had to face the consequences of your actions, but this was far beyond you. Sangyeon was talking crazy, wanting to infect the whole world. You had wanted to use Prometheus as a means of evolution, but this wasnât that. It was a takeover. No one else besides the boys had enhanced abilities, so by comparison everyone else was beneath them, and everyone else could be controlled. You couldnât stay here anymore. The illusion of peace and happiness shattered in an instant.
You should have known better. This was all way too good to be true, but you had been manipulated by them so easily. Believing their sweet words without questioning what could be underneath. You didnât have much here, so you only packed a few supplies and waited until nightfall. You had no destination in mind, but you just needed to get away and figure out where you were first. Then you could make a real plan. All you knew was that the boys needed to be stopped. Once things got quiet you made your way out into the surrounding woods, keeping away from light and moving quietly. You knew there was a water source not too far from the place, so your best bet was to follow that, moving against the currents.
âYou should just stop.â
Hearing a voice you quickly hid behind a tree, remaining frozen. Maybe it was two other people talking, but you couldnât take any risks.
âThereâs no need to cause trouble, so just come back quietly.â
Now you were certain they were talking to you, but you had to remain hidden. You began to hear footsteps, trying to remain calm.
âYou canât really run, you know that, and you certainly canât hide.â Ericâs voice seemed louder than before. âNot from me at least. I can see in the dark. In fact, I can see your hand right over there.â
It was stupid to run, it really was, but Ericâs words made you fearful and flight took over. You wanted to get away, to go as far as possible and hopefully escape, but it really was delusional. As you ran your heart pounded in your chest, becoming the loudest thing in your ear, yet you heard something else. It sounded fast, and there was no doubt in your mind who it was.
âFound you!â
Kevin appeared before you in an instant, scaring you and making you fall to the ground. Although you were still in a panic state, so you quickly crawled and stumbled back to your feet only to crash right into someone else. Chanhee grabbed your arm, a rather sinister smile adorning his face.
âItâs dangerous out here. Not to mention weâre quite far from any other form of civilization.â
âYouâd be wandering for days before you found anyone else.â Kevin added. âWeâd certainly find you first though. So why donât we just go back.â
âNo⌠no, pleaseâŚâ
âDonât be difficult.â Chanhee hissed. âIt wonât end well for you.â
Their words did nothing to ease your fears, they likely werenât meant to, so you kept fighting. You managed to slip from Chanheeâs grip only to take a few steps before a blinding white light stopped you in your tracks. You collapsed to the ground, your vision slowly returning to you. As it did, you could make out three faces before you. It became clear where the bright light had come from once you realized Changmin standing over you.
âLooks like youâre not going anywhere.â
All three grabbed you and pulled you to your feet. In an instant your surroundings changed, and you found yourself back in the grand room. Your attempt at escape was easily thwarted, and now you were back at square one. The boys released you and you fell to your knees, feeling defeated. The rest soon gathered, and you could imagine their disappointment.
âDid you really think that was going to work?â Sangyeon questioned. âWhy would you want to leave?â
â⌠tell me⌠is this you, or Prometheus?â
Sangyeon started laughing. It was soft at first, but seemed to grow a bit maniacal. You hadnât said anything funny, and you certainly felt worse now.
âOh, y/n, come on, I thought you were clever. There is no difference anymore. Thereâs just us, thereâs just me. Weâve truly become one. Iâm merely a more evolved version of myself.â
âAnd you speak for everyone?â
âOf course.â
You glanced at the others in the room, realizing their eyes were black, and they were completely silent. At the moment they practically seemed lifeless, and it finally dawned on you that Sangyeon wasnât just in control of the infected humans here, he could take control of everyone.
âSangyeon⌠you donât have to do this, there has to be-â
âQuiet.â
To your own surprise you shut your mouth, all your words dying in your throat. There was a lot you needed to say, yet nothing came out. It took a moment before you realized what this meant.
âI admit, I did lie to you. Of course, properly spreading my gift⌠well, you saw that initial process. I didnât want to upset you, so we did things gradually. Slipping you a bit here and there so you would be none the wiser. Obviously I never exerted my will on you, I figured youâd come around eventually but⌠here we are. I canât just have you running off to warn the world about us. Weâre not ready to expand on such a level.â
You shook your head, trying to communicate by other means, but you suddenly felt this weight lifted off your chest, off your throat.
âI donât want any part in this, Sangyeon.â
âYouâve always been a part of this though.â
âThen I want out!â
âI merely gave you my gift without telling you so I could keep an eye on you and protect you. Things donât end here for you. I want to give you what you gave us.â
âWhat I⌠no, no you canât assimilate me, I have to be willing and Iâm not!â
âYou say that but the truth is you are willing, you just donât realize it.â Sangyeon went over to the cryo pod. âAt this point we donât need this, but there are still things we need to prepare.â
Without a word the other boys came to life, some grabbing you and dragging you over to the pod. You were forced inside, desperately hitting the glass and begging to be let out. Then you felt something dripping on your head, looking up to see black blood seeping in.
âNo, no, no, let me out! Please! Sangyeon! SANGYEON!â
Your pleas were ignored as black blood was pooling at your feet, but you kept screaming, even if it was futile. You began to grow dizzy, feeling yourself being pulled under. You couldnât fight it, but you kept up your resistance until everything faded to black.
âĽâĽâĽâĽâĽâĽâĽâĽâĽâĽâĽ
As you regained consciousness you quickly realized you were still trapped in that pod. You tried looking for a way out but there wasnât one. Initially you thought you were alone, but that wasnât the case. Juyeon was around, painting on the floor, adding to the words and symbols. He seemed to be very busy as his hands looked like they were covered in black paint. The atmosphere was creeping you out, but you did your best to hold yourself together. You tapped on the glass, trying to get Juyeonâs attention.
âJuyeon⌠Juyeon, please, just let me out, pleaseâŚâ
Your words were left ignored, Juyeon not even glancing your way. You kept begging, only stopping when you saw Hyunjae come into the room. He didnât pay you any attention either, merely asking Juyeon if he needed help with anything. You knew they were preparing something, but seeing this wasnât giving you any answers. Before you tried to get their attention again you noticed Younghoon by the pod, looking things over.
âYounghoon, Younghoon, please, let me out.â
âYouâre not going anywhere, so stop asking.â
âPlease, this is not going to work, Iâm not gonna let it.â
âYouâre underestimating us.â
âYounghoon-â
âFighting it wonât help you.â
ââŚâ You knew he was right. âWhat are you even doing? Whatâs with all the paintings?â
âItâs symbolic. We were given a new life thanks to your gift, but with you we can truly create something new.â
âHuh?â
âWeâll be ready soon, you should rest until then.â
âWait, I-â
A sudden dizzy spell hit you. There didnât seem to be anything being released into the pod, so it was likely Prometheus. You tried to fight it, but ultimately passed out. When you regained consciousness you had no idea how much time had passed, but you certainly werenât alone. All the boys were gathered, and an uneasiness started to settle in. You chose to stay silent, and this time you were released from the pod. The thought of running did cross your mind, but when you glanced over at Kevin and Chanhee the looks in their eyes were daring you to just try it. So you opted to try and talk your way out of this.
âI know itâs hypocritical to say⌠but you shouldnât force thisâŚâ
âRegardless of the outcome, you forced it on us.â Jacob commented. âThen again, we arenât really forcing this now are we? This was your end goal too.â
âNot like this⌠not⌠taking away peopleâs choices and-â
âYou wanted to save the world, and weâre doing just that.â Sangyeon interrupted. âThis is just the last piece. The last thing we need to evolve into something more, something better.â
âBetter? What is it you actually want? Youâre already the most powerful individuals on this planet. I honestly doubt you can be killedâŚâ
âWhat we want, what I want, is the same thing, you.â
â⌠why? Iâm not willing, I donât-â
âYou did give us so much, and even though weâve come to understand our powers, there is something we canât do. Not without you at least.â
âMe? What can I possibly give you?â
âEverything. Together we can create a whole new life.â
âIâŚâ
It finally dawned on you what he meant, why it had to be you. Despite all their abilities, they couldnât procreate among themselves. They needed a proper counterpart, and they had decided it was going to be you. No amount of running was going to save you now.
âNo⌠no⌠thatâs⌠we have no idea what would come of that⌠itâs incredibly dangerous and⌠this isnât you, Sangyeon, this isnât you talking, itâs Prometheus. It wants to spread all over the world and infect-â
âI told you there is no difference between us anymore. Prometheus was a gift. Now weâre using it to save the world.â
âThis could all fail.â
âYou meet your own criteria, and with us around you donât need to be placed in a cryo pod.â Sangyeon stepped closer to you, taking your hand in his. âLet us return the favor now, let us take care of you.â
Before you could answer his lips were pressed against yours. It was gentle at first, as if he was shy and testing the waters, but your lack of a reaction was his signal to go deeper. His free hand cradled your head, keeping you from breaking the kiss. You should fight him, but you didnât. Maybe you knew you were defeated, maybe you were just tired, or maybe Sangyeon had taken all the fight out of you. That stupid hive mind, you couldnât really know how it worked, or how deep it went. The kiss was distracting you though, so you werenât fully aware of this slimy substance climbing up your legs and making contact with skin. Not to mention other hands were helping to undress you. In a place like this you should have felt cold once exposed, but the room actually seemed to be warm. Sangyeonâs kiss eventually traveled down, letting you breathe.
âYouâre a perfect creation⌠I only desire to empower you.â
After those words were spoken you wound up on the floor. There was some fabric laid out, so you werenât directly on concrete, but still, a sense of cold wasnât present at all. You could better see the writing and scribbles, but there were other things going on around you to keep you from understanding any of it.
âYouâll be worshipped as a goddess by everyone⌠accept the gift and be with us in all ways possible and beyond.â
âThis is cheatingâŚâ You managed to speak. âYouâre already in my headâŚâ
âWeâll take good care of you and you know that.â
Even though Sangyeon had initiated, you felt kisses and touches from the others as well. You were completely at their mercy, and you knew that the words spoken werenât really coming from one individual, but from all of them. As time went on you felt weirder, your body hot in a way beyond just a reaction to their care. Your mind was clouded, whether by the hormones of your body or their influence on you, but either way you still somewhat understood what was going on around you, and you could feel it. Of course you had no idea what the assimilation process actually felt like, but you knew what was happening.
They didnât need the cold temperatures for you because they were in full control of this gift. Not to mention what they were doing worked to their benefit. Your body was being flooded with pleasurable sensations, practically making this whole process enjoyable for you, and them as well. You didnât want this, but on a deeper level you did, and little by little that side was winning out. It became stronger, and took over your own actions. You matched their actions, their intensity, and probably surprised them as well. Your grip on those likely would have left bruises if they were normal. Not to mention Juyeon certainly got the rougher end. While on top of you your nails had been digging into his back, drawing blood and staining your fingertips black. He didnât mind, rather enjoying himself more.
Of course he wasnât the only one to bleed. Hard kisses led to bleeding lips, and your desperate clawing for stability certainly broke skin. Besides having black blood on your hands and all over your body, theirs as well, you were also ingesting it. Although at this point you doubt there would be any consequences to that. Even though you were getting lost in them, you still had moments where youâd snap out of it. Youâd always try to free yourself, to try and get some space, but they wouldnât let you. They had you surrounded, pinned, trapped, their presence was suffocating. Still, you tried, shoving Sunwoo away from a kiss, but he only took your hand, placing a gentle kiss on the back of your palm.
âItâs okay, itâs okay, you donât need to be scared.â
âI⌠IâŚâ
âSh, Iâm sure words are getting difficult.â
He was right. By now actually speaking seemed tricky, especially with your mind running at half capacity. Then youâd be drowning in them again, lost and unresisting to the changes they were bringing upon you. It didnât hurt, that was the one thing they wanted to be certain of for you. To spare you from the panic and fear such a gift could bring. They kept your mind off what was happening, and eroded any sense of resistance. Time had no meaning, and you started blacking out at certain moments. To a degree you knew this had to be over soon, and you certainly couldnât do anything to change things. That didnât stop the panic as your last effort of defiance. All the boys properly pinned you down at that point, although seeing black eyes and matching tears didnât help much. Let alone the fact they were all telling you the same thing before you blacked out.
âDonât resist. Itâll be over soon.â
âĽâĽâĽâĽâĽâĽâĽâĽâĽâĽâĽ
There was warmth. Not like before, this felt internal, as if your own body temperature had risen, permanently. You almost felt like you were sick, but that wasnât this. It was more, you felt like there was more to yourself now. Besides feeling your limbs and all your digits, there was this weird sixth sense about the world around you. Like your senses had been heightened, and then some. You had gotten all that before even opening your eyes, before you even realized you were floating. That finally drove you to action and you shot up, taking in a deep breath and then coughing up some water. As your vision adjusted you saw you had been lying in a tub of black water, likely the same one you had seen Sangyeon in before. This all felt like waking up from a dream, but that haze still lingered.Â
You were still in the grand room, and even though it seemed you were alone, you didnât feel alone. You kinda felt like you knew where the others were, like you could sense them, and someone was getting closer. Even though you knew there was no danger, you still sank back a bit in the water when you saw Haknyeon. He merely smiled and approached you slowly, asking how you were doing. You tried to give an answer, but you couldnât talk. You knew how, you wanted to, yet your body didnât fully feel like your own. Haknyeon was well aware of this and told you it was alright, that your ability to talk would come back to you in a bit. He helped you out of the tub, wrapping a towel around you and drying you off, making sure to hold you up as you regained stability.
Things felt so new, even if they werenât. Despite your mind kinda functioning properly, you didnât have much energy, so Haknyeon stuck close to you. He suggested getting you into some clean clothes and then some fresh air. You definitely wanted to get out of these wet clothes so you didnât argue. Besides he was your crutch at the moment, so wherever he went you went. It wasnât just the two of you for long as Jacob and Chanhee seemed to find you, big smiles on their faces. You certainly felt warmer with Jacob around and all three got you to your room to help you change. Since they had already seen you nude there was no shame in having their help undressing you. In fact you got a look at your body and saw you didnât have a scratch on you despite all the previous activities.
It was quite incredible to see as your memory suggested you should be covered in bites and bruises. Things were clearing up a bit, but this haze around the edges remained. Thatâs when it truly began to settle in what had happened to you and what it meant. You wanted to scream, but you werenât capable of that. Instead your body properly gave out, although Haknyeon and Jacob were quick to catch you. Even if you couldnât vocalize the panic you were trashing and starting to hyperventilate. The boys were trying to talk and calm you, but their voices seemed distant. You sensed something coming closer, and that didnât help you at all. Then Sangyeon came into the room, immediately taking your head in his hands. The rest of the boys slowly trickled in afterwards as Sangyeon helped you relax.
âBreathe, just breathe, everything is okay, we are here.â
Even in your panic, Sangyeonâs voice came through loud and clear. His words were soothing and you found yourself following along and calming down. Your breathing settled, as did your mind. Sangyeon smiled proudly, gently petting your head.
âBetter?â You nodded your head. âGood, why donât we get you some fresh air.â
All together you stepped outside. The landscape was the same, yet completely new. You were seeing the world in a whole new light now, experiencing it in a way you never had before. The gift flowing through your veins wasnât just something you shared with the boys, but you could feel it in the world around you. Little by little it was spreading across the land, remaining unnoticed but breathing new life into everything, including you.
âI know everything is new, but we are here to guide you and look after you as you adjust. Something we all know you would have wanted to do for us.â
Your eyes took everything in, seeing this community in a new light. It wasnât just a safe haven, it was the future, and you understood that now. Even without words the boys were aware of your feelings. You were drawn into the garden, seeing all the wonderful plants and practically feeling this energy radiating off of them. Your steps were a bit unsteady but you went over to one of the bushes with pretty flowers on it. In the back of your mind you knew what plant this was, but right now you wanted to touch it and feel something new. Although even your delicate touch had an effect as the flower seemed to grow and bloom and turn into a strawberry in a matter of moments. You were quite shocked, as were the others, but there were smiles all around.
âThatâs fitting for you since you breathed new life into us. Weâll certainly build a wonderful new world together.â
⧠pairing: fallen angel!Sunwoo x fem!Reader
⧠warnings: smut (18+ minors dni), oral (m!receiving), cum swallowing, mentions of fingering/sex, size kink, biting, marking, slight possessiveness, teeny tiny bit of fluff near the endÂ
⧠word count: 1.8kÂ
⧠a/n: The Roar mv altered my being in ways I have not recovered from. This is the result of that. Itâs also the reason Sunwoo has fangs (yes, it was necessary to include). Shout out to my friend for beta reading. Youâre a real one.
⧠ao3
The empty space of your apartment was quiet, save from the gentle hum of the air conditioner. The darkness only illuminated by the moonlight peaking through the blinds. The only signs of life were the shoes by the door and the jacket thrown over the arm of the sofa, something you'd get on to your boyfriend for in the morning. Though the fault of it being there was not entirely his. When the two of you arrived it had been a frantic flurry of hands and lips. Urgently shedding clothes to free more skin. It had been a distracted journey to your bedroom, the only area of your home currently lit and active as it had been for sometime. That was clearly evident by the light streaking from underneath the door and the accompanying noises coming from within.
In that time, Sunwoo had ravished you extensively. Hands, lips, tongue, and teeth everywhere with the marks to prove it. He was sure to take his time in taking you apart. Filling you up and bringing you to your climax over and over again. And still wanting more. His supernatural stamina was on full display and his eyes darkened with lust every time he removed his cock or fingers from your weeping cunt. He'd watched your hole clench around nothing, and saw how you'd greedily try to pull him back to your body any way you could. While you didn't share his superhuman status, what you lacked in ability, you made up for in desire. So every time he would ask for another round, you were happy to comply, eager even. Every time he filled you up felt like heaven, though in a much more sinful way.Â
That left you currently on your knees for him. The wet sound of your hands and mouth working over Sunwoo's dick bouncing off the walls. He bites his lip to contain the noises trying to escape him. Still, quieted grunts make it past his lips. You've been at it for hours, or at least what felt like hours. His sense of time isn't its sharpest right now. The pleasure from your mouth feels so delicious it's hard for him to think straight.
When he feels a twinge of pressure in his stomach he knows he won't last much longer. A large hand meets the back of your head, fingers tangling in your hair and lightly pressing at your scalp. That was his warning sign. Where he thought you'd release him, you speed up instead. Bobbing your head all the more vigorously and letting your tongue glide along the underside of his shaft.Â
Sunwoo's composure begins slipping the more effort you put into finishing him off. His bottom lip now freed from his teeth, his breath comes out in labored huffs. He can feel his release barreling towards him. His free hand fists the sheets behind him in an attempt to brace himself. Then all at once it hits him.
The hand on your head pushes you down on him as your throat spasms around him. You swallow what you can before pulling off for air. Even after being freed from your mouth his release continues to leak from his tip. You return to lap up the cum slowly dripping down his shaft. Dragging your tongue along him you enclose your lips around his tip one last time while pumping the rest with your hand, humming around him as you savor the taste.
You look up to see his gaze fixed on you. His breathing no longer labored, but you can still see the rise and fall of his chest. You release him from your mouth with a gentle pop as he begins to soften in your hand. The look on your face is sweet and gentle in contrast to the sinful act you'd just finished.
"You always look so cute when you swallow my cum. You're gonna be the death of me," Sunwoo says as he reaches out to gently cup your face. His thumb swipes the corner of your mouth picking up what was left. You take his thumb into your mouth keeping eye contact with him. You hum again as you swirl your tongue around the digit, sucking gently. You release him to lick your lips, savoring the taste of him.
"So sweet" He coos, causing you to beam back at him. "It should definitely be illegal."
"Like you'd care about breaking laws. That's how you got here in the first place."
"Ow y/n, you wound me. Words hurt y'know," he pouts, retracting his hand and clutching his chest dramatically. His brows knit together with mock pain. The glimmer in his eyes would almost pass for crocodile tears, but you knew better.
"Really? Cause I thought that fall from grace woulda hurt much more," you say perching your elbows atop his knees. You hadn't truly spent time contemplating how you believed an angel was supposed to behave, fallen or not. As a mere human you never thought you'd be the one to be granted such a divine encounter. Nor that one encounter would turn into multiple becoming more intimate over time. But you liked this. The witty playfulness he came with. A back and forth you'd easily integrated into your dynamic. Teasing and poking was part of the act, even the ones taking place in the bedroom. You fit him with a puzzled expression, a purposeful exaggeration. A smile of concession creeps onto his face as he gives in.
"Alright, ya got me," He says putting his hands up as a light chuckle passes his lips. He leans back on his haunches and shuffles his way up the bed as you release his legs, moving to climb on beside him.
"I may have broken a rule or two in my lifetime, a couple big ones matter of fact, but I like to think things turned out alright."
"It brought me here. It brought me to you," he turns to look at you close. You're already eye to eye, but when he turns on his side to fully face you you feel an inexplicable magnetism pulling you in further. The small gap of space between your bodies feels invasive. An unwelcome third party. Despite how intertwined you had been not even an hour ago you still longed for his touch. The feeling of skin on skin and his warmth mingling with yours.
You're the one to close the gap, linking your leg around his and letting the rest of your body settle against him. You're not unfamiliar with feeling small, but it's times like this where it sticks out in your mind the most. It has to be the fact that he's a supernatural being. It's already the reasoning you've worked out to explain his speed and strength. It wouldn't be a stretch to say he's taller than most guys you've seen for the same reason. It's not at all something you mind, in fact it excites you. The effect of him towering over you practically reduces your brain to mush. Couple that with him manhandling you any way he pleases and you're gone.
"To think if I stayed up there as a good, law abiding angel, I would've never known you. Never gotten to see your beautiful eyes or your smile," his hand once again trails the side of your face and goes lower, passing your shoulders. "Never get to feel your soft curves," his hand finds your hips gently squeezing at the same place he'd been gripping you by earlier that evening. You wonder if he knew or could tell by the prints left in his wake.
"Never get to feel those pretty lips and that warm mouth around me," his face is inches from yours as most of your bodies are pressed together at this point. His breath fans over your skin making you shudder. You note the fact that he was staring at your lips before locking eyes with you again, they look darker than when you were exchanging light banter. There's hunger there now.
You can feel it when he kisses you. His tongue exploring your mouth again. His essence still lingering on your tongue making him more fervent as he groans into the kiss. A desire to mark you as his wells up in him. To see your skin littered with the proof of what you'd done. Leaving you soaked and your walls coated with white after pounding you into the mattress. Letting everyone know who you belong to. Whose you were.
"Mine," his words come out in a low rumble between kisses. If you hadn't been able to make out the word you'd mistaken for a growl. It's possessive, animalistic.
He shifts your bodies together putting him on top. Easily moving your smaller frame as he pleases. Your heart is beating out of your chest, so loud you're pretty sure he'd be able to hear it without his heightened senses.
"You're all mine. Nobody else's," he mumbles against your skin as he begins kissing along your jawline. His mouth is hot on your skin, but the wetness of his kisses have a coolness that brings you back to zero.Â
He brings a hand up to the side on your throat lightly gripping your neck. His nails, slightly long with a subtle point, teasingly dig into your skin. It was one of the new avenues Sunwoo had introduced you to in bed. You were never big on choking before but agreed to try it out with him which resulted in a long night of multiple orgasms. "My little play thing." His heavy lidded stare makes your insides squirm. The lust in his eyes would be overwhelming if it wasn't for the softness you saw mixed in. "All mine to spoil. To ruin." And there it is. His carnal desires coupled with the desire to love and care for you. The very reason he left paradise. Because it wasn't truly paradise. Not without you.
"You want that, baby?"
"Yes," you sigh as he thumbs over your throat. "I'm all yours, Sunwoo." His eyes darken again as he increases the press of his nails into your skin. Your stomach flips as you relish in the light sting. You didn't think you were the type to find pain pleasurable before him. He brought out new sides of you, and you wanted to keep exploring with him.
"That's my good girl," He flashes you a smile with teeth. The lighting in the room is dimmed, but the moonlight coming in from the blinds catches just right so that you can see the flash of the silver fangs in his mouth.Â
He moves back to your neck, flattening his tongue to lick a stripe up your throat. As he makes his way up to the underside of your jaw, you're sure he can feel your pulse. "And don't you forget it."
He moves down to the crook of your neck pressing more wet kisses to the area. The last two things you can accurately process are the feeling of his teeth sinking into your skin and the scream making its way past your lips before you can stop it.
a brief inquiry into online relationships â k. sunwoo
pairing: kim sunwoo x fem! reader
genre: enemies to lovers au, internet best friends au. friends to lovers au. gamer! sunwoo and gamer! reader. fluff, comedy. sunwoo has a big fat crush and is a bitchless loser but is also simultaneously being very annoying and mean sometimes:(
wc: 20k
warnings: swearing, sexual innuendos/jokes/flirting, the reader is referred to with she/her pronouns and called a girl! i call league players virgins :/ (and im right). certain parts are really chat heavy (but what do you expect from an internet best friend au am i right). the reader is said to have dyed hair! I wrote this with a friend in mind yall just get to read it đ
there's only one person kim sunwoo treasures the most in the whole world, and that person is his internet best friend. there's also only one person kim sunwoo hates with a burning passion, and that person is you. well, imagine his surprise when he finds out... they are the same person.
playlist: fruit roll ups - waterparks / royalty - enhypen
I wrote and dedicate this fic to @csenke 𩷠happy birthday best friend, I hope you like your little present. I dont like being sappy in public, but do know that I love u the absolute most.
a/n: a HUGE thank you to @from-izzy for beta reading and helping me out with this fic so much, listening to me ramble and cry and hyping me up izzy, it means a LOT. thank you @sanaxo-o for beta reading a bit as well. đŤśđť ive wanred to write this fic for literally years so im glad it is finally out hihi.
The first time Kim Sunwoo has ever been accused of having a crush on a girl he hasnât even met in real life yet was on October 11th, 2023. It was a few months after meeting the said girl online through a Minecraft server and talking to her during the night over a Discord call, not being able to fall asleep after and coming to class looking like a zombie from the deprivation of relaxation. After he said the story to his friend Changmin, he got laughed at and teasedâ all because he said he didnât want to hang up on his online best friend yet, and she was so full of energy, and Sunwoo wanted to know what she had to say because she was so adorable gushing over how much she loved Paw Patrol as a kid and how she got some magnets for her fridge from her local grocery store and put Skye right in the middle, where she keeps her shopping list.Â
Of course, Sunwoo refused this accusation. He does not have a crush on his online best friendâ the girl he hasnât even met in real life yet. He doesnât like her, because letâs be real, he doesnât even know what she looks like. Navigating the boundaries of an online friendship was already hard as it was for the boyâ was he oversharing? Was he being too much, too annoying at times? â so asking for the girlâs socials outside of Discord or begging for a simple selfie in the chat is far away from the things heâs comfortable saying out loud to her.Â
And Sunwoo canât be into herâ because he doesnât even know her that well. He doesnât even know where she lives or if the name sheâs given him online is her legal name. What he does know, though, is that sheâs the same age as him, sheâs funny and pretty fucking cool, she has obscure interests like the Spiderman movies or collecting albums of her favorite kpop artists, and her voice is nice over the speakers of his laptop when the two of them call and play Minecraft together in the late hours of the night.
Thatâs not enough to develop a crush on someone, right?
Right�
The first time Kim Sunwoo starts to question his own feelings for his friend is also, coincidentally, October 11th 2023. See, he might say that heâs not as dull as one would think after looking at him, but after the conversation he had with his best friend in the morning, something started to click. (Mainly because he just couldnât stop feeling the blush creeping onto his cheeks, bashfulness filling his composure. Why is it so hard to deny the obvious?)
In the late hours of the night, Sunwoo logs onto the Minecraft server and walks around the world heâs created. He is on a mission of cheering his online friend upâ she said something about an exam going terribly wrong in his Discord DMâs just a few hours ago, and although he tried his best to cheer the girl up over messages, he thinks he has to go an extra mile to remind her that life is not as rude and that sheâs loved even when she feel like a disappointment. (Just the sentiment of the wording in his head is suggesting that heâs trying to stay oblivious to his own feelingsâ there is no doubt he is failing, though.)
He checks the people online in the server, noticing sheâs not there yetâ as he expected, since the girl usually logs on only a few minutes before midnightâ which assures him that there is still time to execute his little plan. With a pep to his step, Sunwooâs character moves through the terribly half-assed house heâs built (that his friend teases him for) and opens one of the chests in his underground storage area. After taking everything he prepared earlierâ for whatever reason, heâs not sure (or just trying to deny the obvious, once again)â he skips outside of the wooden building and runs towards the portal he built leading to her house last week.Â
Once she saw the portal outside of her house, she asked him about it. To the question of why he wants easy access to her house at all times, he replied that itâs so he can rob her when she least expects it. Her and him both know sheâs not the one keen on mining, so thereâs not really much to steal in the first place, but to Sunwooâs surprise (and relief), his friend dropped the topic quickly, moving on to the next one.
After the vision of his character finally clears and he is left standing right outside of her houseâ which is a stunning piece of architecture, by the wayâ he looks around for a bit to find the best place for his little offering.
He settles on the place by the front door of her house and gets to executing his little surprise. Opening the inventory of his character, Sunwoo takes out a bone meal and uses it on the grass blocks next to the door, making all sorts of flowers grow next to her humble abode. When heâs satisfied with the colored petals blooming in their digital world, the boy gets out the pink wool and digs into the remaining dirt blocks on the ground, replacing them with the rosy cubes and shaping them into a small, but telling heart.Â
He stands back and admires his work for a bit, laughing at the ridiculous actions he caught himself doing. Sometimes he gains self-awareness in the weirdest of situations, and this is surely one of themâ he prays his friend doesnât log on in this exact moment. He would have no other choice but to jump out of his window and kill himself, he thinks.
Still, he follows up with his initial idea and places a chest next to the heart, filled with emerald and diamonds that he gathered over the last week. He worked hard on them and she kept whining that she still didn't have anyâ and although heâd like to keep them, he figures he can just get more the next time heâs alone in here, mining.Â
A cherry on top is placed next to all of thisâ a wooden sign that he types âWhat if we put our Minecraft beds next to each other? xxâ on, against all his thoughts telling him otherwise.Â
This might be a terrible, terrible idea, he thinks. But the thought of making his best friend smile fuels the boy. Taking one last look at his masterpiece, he snickers. Yeah, Sunwoo. Maybe there really is no getting out of those allegations. Maybe he wonât tell about what he did to Changminâ and heâs lucky the boy doesnât play Minecraft and has no way of finding out by playing on the same server as the two of you.
Sunwoo logs out of the game, sitting back in his chair. After scrolling through his Instagram for a bit, he hears the familiar sound of an incoming Discord call waking him up from the doom, making him breathlessly accept and wait for the girlâs voice to come out of his headphones, making him feel excited and on the tips of his toes.
âYa, Steve, was it you who made that cute altar in front of my house?â she asks, making his heart skip a beat.
âDepends,â he hums, âdid you like it?â
Every Tuesday afternoon, 6 oâclock sharp, Kim Sunwoo takes the role of the head of the Video Gaming club at his university. Itâs quite an easy job, heâd sayâ since all his responsibilities lay in meeting up with the members of the club in an internet cafĂŠ once a week, playing a video game of their likingâ and he also appreciates the fact that he has something to put onto his CV. The extra points towards graduation are also good, and so in reality, he has nothing to complain aboutâ he likes video games and he also likes socializing.
There is just one thing he hates about the Video Gaming club, and that is the fact that Y/N Y/L/N, his best friendâs ex-girlfriend, managed to somehow infiltrate herself into the circle.
Now, you and Ji Changmin dated in the early stages of high school. The two of you met in Science class, and although Changmin wasnât the smartest when it came to Chemistry, he still managed to make himself your designated helper in all experiments, just to make himself close to you. That slowly worked and the two of you started datingâ for 2 months, that isâ before you realized Sunwooâs poor best friend wasnât who you were looking for and you broke up with him, starting a new relationship with Park Sunghoon, the handsome ice skater from the private school downtown just 2 weeks later.
Changmin cried for three days straight and then one more day after he found out he was replaced, and since then, Kim Sunwoo has decided that he hates your gutsâ because no one makes his best friend sad.Â
Every Tuesday afternoon, 6 oâclock sharp, you waltz into the internet cafĂŠ with your friend Aeri clinging to your side, both of you laughing about whatever you found amusing that day. The sound of your laughter is insufferable to Sunwooâs ears and the sight of your dyed hair makes his stomach churn with acidâ everything about you angers the boy, makes him all alert of your presence. For some reason, he canât control his anger around youâ everything you do infuriates him, makes him wish you were anywhere but in the same room as him.
Canât you read the room? Do you not realize youâre not welcome here? This is Sunwooâs territory, and for some reason, he thinks you should respect it. You havenât spoken to each other in over 4 years, but that doesnât mean he forgot about everything. Maybe you just keep showing up because you know he hates your gutsâ you do it out of spite.
Kim Sunwoo wonât have that, though. If thereâs something about him that he makes perfectly known in the Video Gaming club, itâs that he is awfully competitiveâ and for once, he tries to use this quality of his for something good: getting you out of the club.
Because he might be the head of the club, sure, but that still doesnât give him the permission to kick you out of it for no apparent reason.Â
He figures making your life a living hell for the entire hour or two youâre in his presence every week would surely be sufficient enough. Surely, one day, you must have enough.
âThereâs someone behind you, dude, watch outââ Intak calls from next to Sunwoo, helping his teammate out.Â
Todayâs game of choice is CS:GOâ too bad for you, Kim Sunwoo is exceptional at shooting games.
He watches his screen and moves his mouse swiftly, shooting the opponentâ he thinks it mightâve been Jaehyun or Chanâ before they even have a chance at spotting him. His teamâ Terroristsâ are winning by a mile, coincidentally having the best of the best in the group. Heâs playing a perfect 5v5 game alongside Intak, Haechan, Yeji andâŚ. and you.Â
âDo you even have your screen on, Y/N?â he grunts from behind his computer, glaring at the screen. He notices you not really killing any opponents, and even though he understands that not everyone is going to be the best at every video game that gets played over the course of semester, heâs making sure to trash talk you each and every time youâre even an inch away from perfect.
âFuck off, Iâm trying.â
âDoesnât seem like it,â he snickers, pointing his gaze towards you only for a split second to watch you roll your eyes at his comment. An annoyed sigh escapes your throat, making the boyâs veins reek with satisfaction.
âWeâre winning anyway, so I donât get why youâre so pressed about it,â you grunt, tucking your hair behind your ear as you play, momentarily taking your hand off the mouse.
Sunwoo notices your character in his point of view on the monitorâ the nickname âceo.Y/Nâ shining proudly over the default skin of the terrorist figurineâ when a bright, spiteful idea sparks up in his brain. The boy realizes he left the friendly fire option on when assembling the game room, and with that, heâs set on his decision.
You donât deserve anything nice in Kim Sunwooâs eyesâ which is why he shoots you in the head the first moment he sees you, laughing to himself.
âYeah, no thanks to you,â he comments as he watches your character drop to the ground.
âWhat the fuck?! Yo, why did you do that?â you gasp, snapping your head around to point your daggers of eyes onto the boy, frustration dripping off your face. It does nothing to ruin the mood of the satisfied boy, only making him shrug and offer you his brightest smirk.
âYou werenât contributing anything to the game anyway,â he shrugs, âmight as well sit this one out, Y/L/N.â
Yes. This one surely will teach you a lesson.
When Kim Sunwoo reaches his room after his showerâ at 1 in the morning sharp and feeling too awake for the late hour, since all the hot water ran out due to his roommateâs greediness (curse Eric Sohnâs long ass showers)â he notices a notification shining on his phone in bright light, making him reach for his phone with curiosity. He doesnât have many friends that would reach out to him at the late hours of the evening, since he talks to most of them during the day anyway, and so even subconsciously, as he reaches for his phone, he expects to see his online best friendâs username pop up in the notification bar.
And he was rightâ clicking on the Discord notification waiting for him at the top of the screen, he already feels his heart skipping a beat, his insides flowing with immediate warmth despite the cold shower he took just a few minutes ago.
Further shaking out the water out of his hair before plopping onto his bed and reading through the girlâs messages, the boy finds himself smiling at her profile picture. Itâs a close up of her Minecraft character standing in front of the little display he put out for herâ and he canât help but feel like this is some sort of a soft launch. Of what, he doesnât really knowâ since the two of them are far from datingâ but thatâs okay. It satisfies him enough. Nobody even really knows itâs him who sheâs showing off, but to him, it holds the weight of the whole entire world.
sunpoodle [0:22] â a missed voice call
sunpoodle [0:35] â a missed voice call
sunpoodle [0:36] â so u dont like me anymore
sunpoodle [0:38] â i see how it is
sunpoodle [0:48] â everything ok tho?
sunpoodle [0:54] â a missed voice call
Squinting at the screen, Sunwoo starts to type out his reply to his friend. Before he has the chance to click send, though, his phone lights up with the incoming voice call from her, leaving him to accept it almost immediately. He hears her voice coming out of his speaker after a few seconds of silence, having his ears perk up and heart beat a little faster.
âDamn, took you long enough,â she hums, making the poor boy chuckle. âI thought you were either dead or ignoring me.â
âI wasnât,â he replies before settling deeper into his bed, going as far as putting a blanket over him to provide himself the most comfort, âI would never ignore you,â he lets himself speak out, a full body cringe taking over him the second he realizes just how far gone and infatuated he must sound with his friend.
âOh, okay,â she says, âI was getting kinda worried, though.â
âWorried?â
âYeah, we didnât speak at all the whole day,â she replies. And sheâs rightâ Sunwoo was too busy the whole day to text her or check in with her throughout the day. He was working on his assignments with Changmin and Juyeon in the library, and then he had to listen to Eric talk about his crush on the new girl from the cafĂŠ he works at. Before he knew it, it was late in the night and all he wanted to do was shower and go to sleepâ his plan was thrown into the bin the moment he got back into his room, though.Â
He might have not put his online friend as his priority during the day but if it comes to sacrificing sleep for her, he wonât even think twice.
âOh, Iâm sorry,â he mumbles, although something inside of him cheers at the fact that she cares about him enough to want his presence every day.âI was just busy with assignments and socializing.â
âYou do that?â
âStrange, isnât it?â he chuckles, poking fun at himself. Thereâs no doubt of him being an extrovert, but for the sake of hearing the girl laugh through his speakerâ his insides squeezing on themselves with violent tenderness at the sound (what a contradiction)â he is content with simply ignoring the fact.
âWhatâs up, though?â he asks. âYou usually donât call and I have to pressure you into picking up in some way.â
âThatâs not true.â
âKind of is, when you think about itââ
âI just like to be persuaded,â she hums, making the boy chuckle.Â
âNoted,â he saysâ and it mightâve been just a figure of speech, really, but there is a secret folder inside of his brain that he calls the girl-he-likes-folder, where he keeps all the information and random facts he learns about his friend safely, until he has a chance to use them. âBut really, what is it? You seem uneasy,â he notes, making the girl laugh softly on the other end of the line.
There is some shuffling on the other side before he finally hears her voice again. Sunwoo furrows his brows at the ruckus, but he doesnât mention itâ maybe sheâs just moving around the room, doing her own things as she talks to him on the phone. It makes his brain wander, thoughâ imagining her cleaning her room, putting things away. Stacking some old papers or throwing stuff into the trash can. The image of his friend is always hazy in his mindâ he was never really the most imaginative when it came to stuff he doesnât knowâ but he still feels attracted to the girl in ways he canât explain without sounding absolutely crazy to an outsiderâs ear. He has no clear idea of her featuresâ he doesnât know how long her hair is, what her figure looks like, or what color her eyes are, but he still knows that to him, sheâs absolutely beautiful and no reality he could see would break this image he has of her.
The fact that sheâs calling him while going on with her life, as if he is an active, real part of it, makes him smile to himself. Every time the girl acknowledges her friendship with him, he feels like heâs on Cloud 9â he doesnât really know why he needs that validation, though.
âThis might sound stupid, but I just wanted to hear your voice,â she says nonchalantly through the speakers of his phone, and with that, Sunwoo is a goner. He feels the world stop turning for a while, his breath hitching in his throat. Something about the girlâs words makes his head spin and thoughts run laps around the walls of his skullâ is it just him, or does that sentence sound strangely intimate?
âWhy?â he asks on autopilotâ because the annoying voice inside of him needs answers.Â
âHm? Oh, I dunno,â she quickly utters out before she makes a sharp turn in the conversation, completely disregarding her previous statement, âdid I tell you about that party Iâm invited to this weekend?â she asks instead, making the boy shake his head in disbelief and throw his face into his pillow to stop himself from screaming.
âNo,â he sighs, âbut tell me now.â
âOkay, soââ
The rest of their conversation is drowned out by his thoughts. Donât get him wrong, he is actively listening to what she has to sayâ how she doesnât know what to wear and sheâs not sure if she wants to match with her best friendâ but he is also subconsciously focused on the fact that the way she talks in her low tone, keeping her voice down to not wake up her roommate next door. It makes the atmosphere that much more sincere and intimate. He finds himself admiring his friendâs excitement and joy, the energy she has when she talks about how her day went and how she canât stay keeping up with one topic for longâ getting lost in the track somewhere along the way, making Sunwoo remind her what she was even talking about in the first place. Everything about the girl is mesmerizing to the boy, and before he has a chance to notice, heâs falling asleep to her rambling on the phone, eyelids heavy in comfort and sleepiness.Â
âAre you still there?â she asks, receiving only a soft hum from the boy on the other side. âAm I boring you?â
âNo,â he half-whispers, âIâm just comfortable. Keep talking,â he says, hugging his pillow to his chest and putting the phone next to his head. He hears a soft scoff on the other side of the line, a kind, sweet voice lullying him further into dreamland.
âOkay, keep using me as your bed time story, then,â she jokes, a tint of faux offense in her tone, âIâll disconnect the call when you stop giving me fakely interested hums after every other sentence.â
And with that, Kim Sunwoo falls asleep to his online best friend talking his ear off on a Discord call. How could she ever think that wanting to hear his voice was stupid? He understandsâ he thinks that perhaps, heâd choose listening to her even over hearing his favorite song.
The idea of teaching you a lesson with his competitive nature is quickly thrown into the bin when the next week comes as the game his friends choose for the afternoon is one that he is not fond of. Why does he not like this game, you may ask? Well, simply putâ he is absolutely terrible at it.Â
The love for League of Legends is a telling sign of someoneâs virginity, though, so Sunwoo thinks he can take pride in the fact that he is not a bitchless loser by playing it in his free time. (Donât mention the fact that he is a Discord user and currently does not have a girlfriend. He will ignore it for the sake of his reputation.)
âIâll go bottom,â Intak says as he chooses his champion in the lobby, making Sunwoo huff. Heâs not really good at playing the mage, heâs terribly, terribly bad at going jungle, and tanks and fighters are equally as easy for him to play as learning the Pi number by heart (very difficult). Soon enough though, he finds that the rest of the roles are quickly divided in his team, and that leaves him nothing else to do than to just humbly take the responsibility of the middle lane, equipping the only champion heâs played beforeâ Fizz.
With him locking in his character, the image on his monitor morphs into the loading screen, letting him once again scan the names that belong to his team. Having 10 members in the club is easy enough to divide into two teams by 5, which he is thankful for, but the teams are almost always randomly selectedâ which makes him angry only at times where he gets the obviously weaker players.Â
This time around, surrounded by Intak and Yangyang teaming up on the bottom, Soobin taking over the jungle and Yeji resigning on the top lane, Sunwoo is satisfied to see he at least doesnât share a team with you this time aroundâ because that means he can do everything in his power to make your life a living hell while playing the game.
âTry not to die in the first few seconds, Sunwoo,â Soobin snickers as the game starts and the boy aimlessly moves towards the middle of the map, moving his character with the mouse. Sunwoo only salutes at the taller boy, making him giggle.
âIâll try not to, boss!â
Sunwooâs quest in this game is to protect the tower and farm as much as he canâ so that destroying the opponentâs tower is easier and opens up the shortest way to the enemy. After seeing how his character moves in the gameâ donât make fun of him but after so much time since he last played the game, heâs forgottenâ he puts his head into his hands and mourns, noticing that he foolishly chose an assassin. Itâs not that theyâre bad per se, itâs just that Kim Sunwoo is much better at League of Legends when he has some distance from the opponent. Which, when he wants to attack, is not a feature Fizz awards him with.Â
Much to his surprise though, the middle lane seems to be empty. There is no one from the opposite team walking up to him and trying to start combat, and that puts him at ease. Maybe he can do his job rightâ for at least a few minutes before the tower is damaged enough that the enemy realizes they need to protect it.Â
And so clueless Sunwoo enters the circle under the tower, attacking it with the red minions by his side, veins flowing with satisfaction that heyâ maybe he will be successful with something in this game. He surely doesnât need the validation of his team, but lookâ all he needs is to not embarrass himself in the process of playing this game. His pride is precious to him.Â
The talk around the internet cafĂŠ slowly drowns out around him, providing him only a background noise. He doesnât need to listen to his teamâs strategyâ he knows he isnât really included in it, as the weakest link. Hyperfocusing on the game, he almost jumps when two characters suddenly appear from the bushesâ not skilled enough, Sunwoo didnât think to check them when he arrived in the middle of the mapâ attacking him.
The nicknames aerichandesu and ceo.y/n shine proudly above the characters of Annie and Vi, both of the females cornering him and making him scowl at the screen. You donât do much damage to him, he notices, but there is something about the way Aeri plays that tells him that he is royally fucked in this game.
Only a few seconds of combat pass before the banner saying First blood appears on the top of the screen, embarrassing him and making the rest of the team laugh at his death. He finally acknowledges that he was tricked, and as the seconds pass of him waiting to be revived, his eyes meet yours from across the roomâ and oh how he wishes to wipe that smirk off your face.
âAs expected,â Soobin chirps from Sunwooâs right, making the poor boy sigh and cross his arms defensively at his chest.
âThey teamed up on me!â
âThatâs the point, sweetheart,â Yeji hums from the corner of the room, âyouâd know that if you knew how to play.â
âOh, shut up, you losersâŚâ he grunts as his character revives, making him hurriedly move towards his designated place again, noticing his teamâs tower slowly falling apart due to leaving you in there unwatched.Â
Once he appears back under his tower, he watches you retract from your place. Sunwoo takes this as his opportunity to show you that one on one, youâre not going to win against himâ and so he chimes forward after you, using Fizzâs trident to deal you magic damage over the next couple of seconds. The clicking of his mouse onto your character resonates through the crowded cafĂŠ and the banners showing his teammateâs successful kills do nothing to help him focus on the task at handâ but your health bar is slowly dropping, and that satisfies the male.
âNot so strong without Aeri now, are you?â he teases, watching as you aimlessly start to run away from him, no longer focusing on killing his character.
He doesnât get a verbal reply from you, but one thing is certainâ the poor male forgot to keep a check of his own health bar, and while chasing after you with greediness, wanting to be the one to get you down, he foolishly gets shot down by the enemy minion following him. The kill is still written off to you though, and when his screen freezes with the death announcement, he watches you cheerâ eyes glimmering and a victorious smile spreading across your cheeksâ before you high-five with your best friend to your right.
Turns out that maybe you donât need Aeri to carry you in League of Legends. At least not when itâs Kim Sunwoo youâre playing againstâ and that puts him at a big of a disadvantage.
Is this how you feel every time he conspires against you? Because if so, he has to applaud youâ you have an awfully big patience. He can handle it for one Tuesday out of the semester, but if he was in your place, heâd be running away from the room the moment he dies in the game again, all because of you.
Running around, out of breath and heaving for oxygen, Kim Sunwoo starts to contemplate if all of this was even a good idea. He shouldâve known the whole thing was bound to be a failure when the first mishaps started happening, but against his best assumptions, he decided to go on with it and try to figure things out.Â
The first thing wrong with this whole entire thing is that it wasnât even his idea in the first place. Hyunjae suggested that the whole friend group goes to play laser tag at the end of the week, to wind off a little before finals. And Sunwoo agreedâ because that sounds like a lot of fun, doesnât it?â and expected to just read out the details of it in the groupchat. He thought turning up to the place would be the only thing he had to do, but oh how he was wrong.Â
Lee Hyunjae decided he didnât really feel like going to laser tag on the single day where all of them were freeâ which meant that they either cancel the whole thing or go without him. And since Eric Sohn was all too excited for the idea, Sunwoo decided he wonât disappoint his dear roommateâ in fears of getting sabotaged or killed in his sleep if he declinesâ leading into making Kim Sunwoo being in charge of the whole thing because as the only Aries of the group, he takes his leadership seriously when he has to.
And so he sucked it up and called the laser tag place, asking for a reservation for 5. Another failure hit him in the face when he was announced that they can only let them play if they have a group of ten people, and before he had the chance to let the rational part of his brain take over and cancel the plans, he was left agreeing and saying he will find 5 more people to come with them.Â
Sunwoo figured that Eric, as the born extrovert, will have no problem finding 5 more people for the laser tag game. He was wrong, though, when his friend announced that all of his friends magically have some plans for that exact Fridayâ he thought that thereâs a party that somehow, only the loser friend group he is partaking in wasnât attending, for some reasonâ and Eric could only think of one person that would come, which left Sunwoo with solving the issue of finding 4 more people to come to play laser tag with him.
So he brought out the big gunsâ the Video Gaming club group chat.Â
sunwhooo [9:31]: hello friends i need 4 people to join us for laser tag tomorrow
sunwhooo [9:31]: anyone down meet us there at 5pm
And with that, he considered the task done. Too over with the whole thing and too tired of being the only one with common sense in his friend group, he didnât check who agreed to his invitation. He figured that someone will either show up, or they will shamefully go home. Which option itâs gonna be is the problem of the day afterâ in this moment, he needed sleep.
He appeared in front of the laser tag arena on Friday, 4:45 sharp, waiting for his group to arrive. He felt like one of those tour guides in the middle of big citiesâ all he was missing was a flag in his hand, or an umbrellaâ either orâ waving around and calling out for his friends. Five minutes after him, Changmin and Juyeon arrived, tailed by Eric and a boy thatâs introduced to him as Jake Simâ who is, just by the way, a carbon copy of Sunwooâs dear roommate both with energy and some of their small mannerisms.Â
Five minutes before they were supposed to enter the arena and get the safety tutorial on how to play, 2 members of his club came up, smiling widely ear to ear. If Sunwoo had to guess who would say yes to his invitation the fastest, Myung Jaehyun and Lee Donghyuck would be first in lineâ and he was right.Â
âWhereâs the rest of you?â he asked after greeting the boys, and right in this moment, after hearing their reply, was when he knew he shouldâve canceled the plans the moment Lee Hyunjae turned down his own offer.
âY/N and Aeriâs bus was late, but theyâre on their way now!â Jaehyun said, smiling ear to ear. âY/N texted you in the groupchat, but I donât think you saw it.â
âPretty sure I have her number blocked,â he grunted under his breath, sighing to himself. Was it too late to leave nowâŚ?
âWhat?â
âNothing.â
And thatâs how he ends up in this mess. You and your best friend arrive 2 minutes late, but youâre still let inâ much to Sunwooâs dismay. Everyone seems to be excitedâ almost too excitedâ when they choose to play the game in the complete darkness, and before Sunwoo has a chance to protest, he is thrown into the laser tag game, nothing but a laser gun in his hand and a vest with the sensoring clutching to his chest.
He canât see anything, heâs constantly bumping into the obstacles, the arena is too big for his own likingâ because he doesnât really know where he is and canât see anyone else, making him feel strangely alone and kind of afraidâ and itâs so hot inside that sweat is slowly dripping down his forehead, making him irritated.
Once in a while, he hears a scream from somewhere inside of the arena when two players meet. He contemplates just sitting on the ground and waiting for the game to passâ not really that mad about being the last one in the rankingâ but the last remains of his pride are telling him to keep going, to keep trying.
Heâs good at shooting games! What is he doing?
Taking a deep breath in and out, he makes a run for itâ hoping he wonât be met with the wall and break his neck in the process (now that would really take the crown for the worst thing that could happen in relation to the laser tag), before heâs met with the sound of footsteps in his ears, making him painfully alert of his surroundings.
Turning his head around, trying to see where the sound is coming from and who he has to protect himself fromâ or shoot and get some points in, that isâ he feels his body meeting full speed with another person, a yelp coming out of their throat right before the sound of clothes rustling and body mass hitting the floor resonates through the place.
âFuck,â he curses under his breath, dropping the gun, âare you okay?â he asks, genuine concern lacing his tone.Â
âWatch where youâre going, for fuckâs sake!â he hears your voice call out of him⌠and the last remains of genuine concern leave his body at that, irritation swimming to the shore.
âHow the fuck am I supposed to watch where Iâm going when you fuckers chose to play in complete darkness?!â He yells over the musicâ that is, just for the record, an atrocious EDM remake mix of early 00s songsâ and lets his eyes adjust to the darkness for some more, watching the outline of your figure on the ground slowly appear in his retina.
Acting on auto-pilot, though, the boy reaches out an arm towards you, trying to help you to your feet. The view of your face is hazy in his eyes but he can still make out the scowled expression you offer him before you take his hand and let him drag you to a standing position.
âSo much sympathy in one man, wow,â you grunt, shaking your head at him once youâre standing tall in front of him. âWouldnât hurt to apologize, you knowââ
âThis clearly wasnât my faultââ
He starts, but stops himself mid-sentence when he sees you point the laser gun towards him, shooting. The interaction is shortâ it goes by almost too fast for him to register itâ and before he has a chance to let the sensor cool down and aim towards your chest as well, youâre running away from him, full speed skillfully through the maze.Â
âHey!â he yells out, but is much slower at following you. Is he doing something wrong? Why is everyone suddenly so good at navigating the space?
And while Kim Sunwoo is competitiveâ there was an agreement that the last place pays for everyoneâs meal afterâ sometimes, his spirit is overshadowed by his emotions. Frustrated, irritated and a little mad, although he pays much effort into shooting at his opponents and gathering up all the points he lost while he was aimlessly walking through the place like a blind man, he just canât seem to catch up and crawl out of the last place.
Standing outside of the room and looking at the scoreboard after, having the rest of the team pat his shoulder and thank for the meal, his eyes land on you as youâre the last one to leave the arena aside from him.
âLooks like being good at CS:GO isnât enough to be good at shooter games in real life, huh?â you tease, pouting at the scoreboard in mock sympathy. âThank you for the meal, Sunwoo. Iâd like a large fry and a cheeseburger, by the way. Make it extra cheese.â
Maybe he shouldâve canceled the laser tag the first moment he wanted to.Â
You know what? Maybe he should cancel the Video Gaming club altogether, while heâs at it.
Sitting around the study room in the library, accompanied by Eric and Changmin arguing about something and enveloped in a gray, fuzzy hoodie, Kim Sunwoo lets himself roll his eyes at the aimless quarreling and puts the hood of his sweater up, leaning back on the uncomfortable chair. After a couple of minutes spent listening to the fightâ thatâs about the assignment at hand, just for your informationâ Sunwoo feels himself zoning out of the room before heâs brought back to reality by the buzzing of his phone on the table with the incoming notification.
At this point of the uneventful afternoon, he wouldâve replied back to anyone within a few minutesâ anything to pass time, he figuresâ but when his eyes zone in on the name on his screen, he is left clicking at the Discord bar quicker than the speed of light.
sunpoodle [6:44]: can u call rn?
notsteve [6:45]: no
notsteve [6:45]: im at the library rn
notsteve [6:45]: why
âYou canât just completely ignore that point of the essay, because itâs going to look like we didnât do enough research,â Changmin argues his point in the background, the loud voice of Sunwooâs roommate almost startling him as he tries to prove otherwise.
âWe canât just include every. single. point. in it, though, or else itâs gonna become a wholeass bible at this point.â
âBetter to exceed the word count than to hand in an unfinished essayââ
sunpoodle [6:48]: oh so u hate me
notsteve [6:48]: pretty sure this is emotional manipulation
âWhat do you think, Sunwoo?â Eric speaks up, turning his head towards the last boy of the threeâ the only one that hasnât spoken up about the matter yet. Itâs true that he didnât really do much work on the actual essay yetâ only some very, very brief research last nightâ but that didnât mean he suddenly felt like doing much more.Â
âHm? Me?âÂ
sunpoodle [6:49]: dont care
sunpoodle [6:50]: youre probably with some other bitches
âYeah,â Changmin chimes in, âsay your part. Itâs three of us here, so the majority will go. What do you think?â
âOh, I donât really careâŚâ Sunwoo hums without much thinking, eyes glued to his phone screen.
notsteve [6:51]: ???
sunpoodle [6:52]: anyways i just wanted to show you my child
sunpoodle [6:52]: but youâre clearly not interested so
âAre you even listening?â Eric asks.
Sunwoo hums in response, automatized. Did the words really register in his brain? You can bet they didnât.
âAre you texting that online girl again?â Changmin scoffs, Sunwooâs ears perking up just a little bit at the mention of his friend.
âYeah.â
notsteve [6:53]: a child???
notsteve [6:53]: is this another sylvanian families toyÂ
sunpoodle [6:54]: no:((
notsteve [6:54]: what is it then
notsteve [6:54]: because we both know youre not responsible enough to have a child
âStill canât believe you developed a crush on a girl you donât even know,â Eric sighs from next to him, the previous topic of their conversation long gone when it means he can make fun of his roommate for being absolutely, totally infatuated with a girl in his phone screen.
âHow can you even know sheâs real?â Changmin jokes. âFor all you know, that could be a 50 year old white male trying to get nudes out of you,â he adds, making the shortest boy snort at the comment.
âI donât have a crush on her,â is all that leaves Sunwooâs mouth, although his tone is not very argumentativeâ just mindlessly spoken out, most of his attention still glued to his messenger app.
sunpoodle [6:55]: are you underestimating me??
sunpoodle [6:55]: im offended
sunpoodle [6:56]: might just block u. and here i was considering sending u a pic of my dogâŚ
âSure you donât,â Eric sighs, âbecause youâre totally not smiling like an idiot right now.â
âShut the fuck upâŚâ Sunwoo breathes out, rolling his eyes. The smile on his face freezes and drops at the unnecessary comment, but his cheeks grow a soft pink hue to them, only further proving his friendsâ point.
notsteve [6:56]: A DOG????â,?â
notsteve [6:56]: show it to me
notsteve [6:56]: show it to me rachel!!!!
âWhen are you going to ask her for a picture or something?â Changmin pries, kicking his friend to his shin under the table.
âWhen she asks first,â he shrugs, âI donât wanna sound like a creep.â
âI bet you already do,â Eric jokes, making his roommate glare at him.Â
âBesides, we call often,â Sunwoo shrugs, âI know sheâs not a 50 year old man. And so far, Iâm content with this. Itâs not like it would be going anywhere in the first place.â
âYou donât know that,â Changmin says, and something about that sentence makes Sunwoo momentarily glance away from his phone screen, furrowing his brows at the male.
âYeah,â Eric chimes in, âyou donât even know where she lives. For all you know, she could be just down the street and you two could be going on embarrassing lan party dates together, or something.â
âOrâ and get thisââ Sunwoo ironically argues, âshe could live on the other side of the country. Which, logically speaking, is much more likely.â
âYou never know until you donât ask,â Changmin shrugs, âI mean, it doesn't hurt to know.â
Shuffling his feet under the table, Sunwoo thinks to himself. There is a reason why he never really asked his online best friend any personal questionsâ and that is because he was simply afraid. Afraid of what he might find out.
No matter the distance, itâs scary for Sunwoo to know about his friendâs whereabouts. Because if she lives far, it means the chances of ever meeting her are unlikely. If she lives close, the chances riseâ but heâs also completely terrified of the chance to meet her because, to put it blankly, he is petrified of the image his online friend would have of him when she meets him in real life.
Hiding behind the cloak of the internet is much easier for the boy. His friend doesnât know what he looks like, what his mannerisms are in real life. And itâs not like he is faking his personality onlineâ because truth be told, heâs acting the same way in his Minecraft server then he would in any real life situationâ itâs just that he is strangely insecure of if heâd still be liked in the same way, had his friend met up with him in real life. Heâs nervous of awkward silence. Heâs stressed out about the fact that maybe he wonât click as well with the girl he met online. Itâs all strange and new to him, and thatâs why he never really dares to ask.
âI donât know,â he shrugs, âitâs all just kind of weird.â
At this point, he doesnât know if he fears meeting up with his friend online, or never seeing her with his own two eyes more.Â
sunpoodle [6:57]: doggo
sunpoodle [6:58] â sends one picture
sunpoodle [7:02]: wow youre ignoring me again
sunpoodle [7:05]: why do i even try at this pointâŚ
sunpoodle [7:08]: teaching my dog to bite u if he ever meets u irl
notsteve [7:09]: how are u gonna do that
notsteve [7:10]: BUT OMG THATS SUCH A CUTE DOG
notsteve [7:10]: BEST BOY
sunpoodle [7:11]: i have my waysâŚ
sunpoodle [7:11]: but he says thank u so i guess we will let it go for now
Sunwoo chuckles at your reply, making the rest of the boys in the room look at each other with knowing eyes, shaking their head in disbelief. Itâs not that theyâre disapproving of their friendâs little (big) crush on the girl he met onlineâ theyâre supportive of whatever makes their dear bundle of sunshine happyâ they just fear that this whole thing⌠might not end the best for the young gamer.
notsteve [7:12]: u like me too much to make your dog bite me
notsteve [7:12]: admit it
sunpoodle [7:13]: im resuming with my lecture!!
sunpoodle [7:13]: he is small and fat but he is strong. do be afraid
notsteve [7:14]: all that for not paying attention to you for 5 minutes?
notsteve [7:14]: your actions speak for themselves, honey <33
âRightâŚâ Eric awkwardly clears his throat, calling the attention of the enamoured boy, âshall we dwell deeper into your online relationship, or do you want to help us with the group essay for a change?â He asks while kicking the boy into his shin lightly, to make sure he has his full attention.
âEssay please,â he replies, nodding to himself. There is no way he is going into details of the embarrassing crush he has on the girl living in his phone.
sunpoodle [7:15]: what can i say life isnt fun without my jasper ://
notsteve [7:15]: try not to die as i work on this assignment
sunpoodle [7:16]: dont lie u dont do those
notsteve [7:16]: unfortunately i do:((
notsteve [7:16] â sends one picture
Sunwoo points his camera so only a part of his laptop is shown with the study room in the backgroundâ making sure neither his friends or him are in the pictureâ before sending it to his friend. Itâs not like she needs proofâ Sunwoo knows that despite the playful teasing, she understands his need to put in some work into his educationâ he just feels like slowly testing the waters with sharing more and more of his real life with his online best friend.
âOkay, so letâs get back to what we were talking about before,â Changmin says, âI was thinking we should at least briefly talk about the points that are against what weâre trying to argue here, but Eric says it would completely disregard like, half of our work, soâŚâ
sunpoodle [7:17]: wait is that at SNU
notsteve [7:18]: yea
notsteve [7:18]: howâd you know
sunpoodle [7:18]: oh my god ??
sunpoodle [7:18]: i study there too
You know what? Forget the assignmentâ itâs due in a week. It can wait 7 more days.
âGuys, uhâŚâ Sunwoo hums, hands shaking and his heart doing somersaults in his chest, âIâd actually like to go back to the topic of my online friend for a secâŚâ
Although Kim Sunwoo feels like the world stopped turningâ or shifted in its axis, either orâ since he learned about the fact that his internet best friend goes to the same university as him, and therefore, could be just about anyone he sees in the halls on a day to day basis, much to his dismay, it did not. The world didnât stop turning and nothing really changed, all events happening around him as if he wasnât just gifted with the life changing information: and that meant that besides the exam week fastly approaching him, he still had to host the Video Gaming club the Tuesday after.
He still has to turn up to the internet cafĂŠ and take the attendance sheet with him, even though the groupchat announced to him that theyâre all going to study for the incoming exams instead. Because the rules are rulesâ as the head of the club, Kim Sunwoo has to host the meetings every week, or else the rights for the club will be revoked and all the privileges that come with having one will be taken away from him before he even has a chance to blink.
Itâs already bad that he will be the only one on the attendance sheetâ if he doesnât decide to fake some signatures, that isâ but now, he is alone and bored, and as it turns out, playing games alone isnât as fun as playing them with someone else. The competitive nature in him yearns for multiplayer games, it longs for the social contact he so effortlessly has with someone when playing a video game with them. He thinks he built a decent group out of the other video game lovers at this university, and he didnât even realize it up until nowâ when heâs sitting alone in the internet cafĂŠ, in the far back on one of the couches.Â
At least he has the chance to test out the new Playstation console they installed here.
Legs spread wide on the small couch, having the whole place for himself, Sunwoo turns on the Test Drive Unlimited game, clicking through the settings. He is not a big fan of racing games in general, but he figures itâs the only game that he can play alone and still have at least some fun, and so after picking out a fancy car to drive around the world, he focuses on racing and fulfilling the side-quests the best he can.
Until a figure squeezes itself right next to him, startling him. âOh, Jesus!â
âItâs Y/N, actually,â you snicker, making the boyâs mood drop at least two notches, eyebrows furrowing at your sudden arrival. What are you even doing here? He thought no one was available this week?
âYou came?â he asks, and despite the sincerity of the question, the tone sounds kind of spiteful.
âYeah,â you shrug, âam I not allowed here? I thought the club is on every Tuesday?âÂ
âIt is,â he agrees, a hint of annoyance in his voice, âI just didnât expect you to come.â
âDidnât expect, or didnât want?â
âBoth,â he grunts, before he turns his head towards the screen again, ignoring your presence completely. The noises coming out of the console provide you two with some background music, but itâs still not enough to diffuse the tense atmosphere. Sunwoo hates every second of you by his sideâ your thighs touching in the small space due to his dominant manspreadingâ even the sound of you breathing making him immensely annoyed.
âWhatâs your problem with me anyway?â you suddenly speak up, breaking the silence. Something about the way you ask the question puts a dagger through Sunwooâs heart, for some reason, but he doesnât dare to drop his tough facade.
âI donât like you, thatâs all,â he shrugs nonchalantly, chewing on the inside of his cheek as he focuses back onto the game, trying hard to not fail at his sidequest. Everything but focus on the difficult conversation beginning to take place right in this moment, right?Â
And why do you even care? Itâs not like the two of you are friendsâ anything close to that, even.
âWhy?â you scoff, shaking your head in disbelief. âI mean, I donât get it. I did nothing wrong, and you seem to be getting on fine with the rest of the girls, so I donât think thatâs the problem here,â you lightly laugh, trying to take some weight off the situation.
Sunwooâs jaw hardens. He doesnât want to have this conversation right now.Â
âAt first I thought it was just harmless teasing, something you do for fun or attention, but then I realized you were being serious about it, so I really⌠I really just wanna know whatâs the deal behind all of this,â you grunt, swinging your arms in the air at the last word, putting more emphasis on the end of the sentence. Youâre starting to get frustrated, and thatâs slowly ticking off Sunwooâs patience.
âOh, you donât know?â he scoffs, turning his head to you. âThen youâre even worse than I thought.â
âWhat are you even talking about?â you yelp out, the eyes of others in the internet cafĂŠ turning towards you with furrowed brows, annoyed glares pointed at your little commotion due to being disturbed while playing their favorite games.
âYouâre my friendâs ex, thatâs why,â he mutters, before scoffing at you and pointing his eyes back to the TV screen.Â
There is a moment of silence following his confession. Heâs not sure what is the reasoning behind itâ if youâre rocking your head, trying to remember what heâs talking about, or if youâre just shocked that he is so loyal to his friend. Maybe youâre in disbelief. Maybe you feel ashamed. Truth be told, Sunwoo doesnât really care.
âJi Changmin?â you ask, suddenly sounding surprised. âThis is about Ji Changmin?âÂ
Sunwoo hates the way you sound almost⌠amused?Â
âYou canât be serious. That happened over 4 years ago! Thereâs no way either of you is still hung up about that,â you say, shaking your head at him in disbelief.
The boy snickers, talking to you, but not really offering you any eye contact as he continues on with his game. âMaybe you didnât think it was serious, but I surely wonât like someone who did my friends wrong.â
âSunwoo, we were kids.â
âDoes that mean it didnât count?â he scoffs.
âYeah, basically,â you bluntly agree, a bitter laugh escaping your throat. âAsk Changmin. Iâm sure he barely even remembersââ
âWell, I remember him crying over you for two weeks straight, so maybe stop bragging into spaces where youâre not welcome,â he snaps, finally looking at you.
He chose a bad moment to have eye contact with you, though. The second the words leave his mouth, hurt flashes by your face, your expression instantly dropping. Your orbs get a little sadder and thereâs a wrinkle between your eyebrows that makes Sunwooâs stomach drop, guilt washing over him in waves strong like tsunami. Realistically, he shouldnât care about hurting your feelingsâ by his logic, you must have even deserved itâ but there is something in him that wants to physically crawl out of his skin and give himself a big, fierceful slap across his face for the words he just said.
Because who is he to tell you youâre unwanted in the club? The other people there like you. Everyone gets on with you just fineâ itâs not Sunwooâs right to ban you from the space he created, just because he has personal vendetta against you.
Youâre not even doing anything wrong⌠Maybe he did fuck up.
âO-okayââ
âNo, wait,â he hurriedly says, reaching out an arm towards you instinctively so he can stop you if you wanted to leave. âI didnât mean it like that. Itâs just⌠I care about my friends a lot, thatâs all. Itâs⌠nothing personal,â he explains, humming to himself.
Except heâs lying, and you both know that. Everything about this was nothing but personalâ the targeted jokes, the mean comments, the rude energy he has towards you any time you show up. Everything about his behavior and his annoyance whenever you are around is personal, because it involves you, and only you.Â
Thereâs no way he can save himself now, though. The words are already said and out there, and even though he regrets them, there is no way Kim Sunwoo is apologizing.
A cloak of silence falls over the two of you again but this time, itâs slowly eating Sunwoo alive. Itâs biting on his arms and crawling on his insides, carving out every harsh word heâs said to you into skin, making it unbearable for the boy to continue just aimlessly sitting next to you. He has to do something.
âDo you want me to leave?â you ask in a soft, quiet voiceâ a tone slightly familiar to him. It makes his ears perk up and his stomach squeeze on itself. Itâs a weird, visceral reaction, but he wonât really allow himself to put much importance into it.
Instead, he sighs and turns to you with the controller in hand, offering you a soft, guilty smile. âNo,â he shakes his head, âyou can pick your own car and play for a while as I order us some snacks, if you wanna. Iâm also pretty sure thereâs Smash bros on it, in case you wanna play with me when I get back.â
The air is tense and awkward, and Sunwoo curses himself from the way events unraveled. He feels like he is betraying his best friend, in a way, but the guilt he carries in him is too big to not try to dissolve.Â
You take the controller from him and nod, chewing on the inside of your cheek. He thinks this might be the beginning of truceâ not a friendship, just toleranceâ between the two of you, but he is soon taken out of his delusions when he sees you clicking off the game and opening Smash bros instead.Â
In that moment, he knows he is going to get his ass kicked, and he knows itâs going to be personal.
The remote control in his hands feels like a weapon after he managed to finally stick the strip of LED lights all around the ceilingâ and with how things have been going (the previous ones not working and them falling down every few seconds this time around), it might as well turn into one if it turns out he failed at installing his newest room decor again. He will use it against himself, he thinksâ there is not much will to live left in him after the whole day, leaving him weak and exhausted.
Praying a little before trying for one last time, Sunwoo clicks on the red button of the remote control in his palm, squeezing his eyes shutâ and after wishing on all 11:11s and all eyelashes, it seemsâ the LED lights finally turn on and illuminate his room with a dark red glow that he quickly turns towards a more muted purple, because itâs easier on his eyes and he kind of doesnât want his room to look like literal hell upon walking in.
The boyâs heart leaps in his chest. It finally workedâ he is every gamer girlâs dream! (And to stay true to the statement, he reaches towards his phone, clicking on the Discord app, approaching the one he dreams about.)
notsteve [10:45]: ive got these really sick lights if u wanna come over ;;)
notsteve [10:45]: they tried to scam me twice but omg look
notsteve [10:46] â sends 1 video
notsteve [10:46]: they can change colors hihihii
Ever since the moment Kim Sunwoo learned that his dear online best friend loves to be persuadedâ her words, not hisâ alongside with the new knowledge of the fact that they both walk across the same halls and visit the same lecture rooms, the dynamic he had with the girl shifted just the tiniest bit.
First of all, they call more often. Not only during the late hours of the night, but also during the dayâ whenever either of them feels like chatting for a while. There is also an increased volume of voice memos and random pictures of their surroundings, which didnât use to happen before. And believe me, Sunwoo doesnât want to honk his horn too much, but he swears the amount of casual flirting increased at least twice the sizeâ from his side anyway. But he promises his friend is reciprocating! Hell, she even starts it sometimes! You have to believe him.
sunpoodle [10:47]: and here i thought you died
notsteve [10:48]: almost
notsteve [10:48]: i couldnt get it up :((Â
sunpoodle [10:48]: i didnât know that was a problem ://
Sunwoo snorts at that, heat rising to his cheeks at the comment.Â
notsteve [10:49]: god i hate u
notsteve [10:50]: no thatâs not a problem for me sweetie
notsteve [10:50]: i can show you if u come over cough
The moment he sends the last message, he regrets it. Every day he spends talking with his friend, the boundaries and lines get pushed and pushed, and he canât seem to know why. Is it the prospect of maybe meeting her one day? The idea of somehow sweeping the girl off her feet and getting to know her beyond the level that the online space gives himâ in a more deep, personal way?
Why does the idea of getting to see her with his own eyes, the idea of touching her, make the poor boy so flustered and excited? Itâs not like either one of them actually initiated any real meeting in the first placeâ all of it was just half-jokes and invitations. He wonders when the day comes when he will be able to just nod and say yes to any of itâ he wonders when she will feel comfortable enough to actually set a time and place, ordering to meet him there. He would drop anythingâ cancel any plansâ just to run and meet her.Â
sunpoodle [10:53]: i could get convinced
sunpoodle [10:53]: to see the lights irl i mean
sunpoodle [10:54]: nothing elseâŚ..cough
sunpoodle [10:54]: youll have to clean first thoÂ
After the replies flood in, Sunwoo immediately relaxes. The girl doesnât seem uncomfortableâ quite the opposite, actuallyâ and so he takes it as a sign to continue the playful nature of things, subtly pushing the idea of a meet-up more and more. For some reason, Sunwoo feels like it should happen soonâ although no time is running out, he feels pressure somewhere in the bottom of his stomach and quiet buzzing in his fingertips any time the thought of his friend crosses his mindâ and he knows it will only go away if he finally meets the girl. (Or it might even get worseâ either way, he desperately needs to find out.)
notsteve [10:56]: my room is super clean!!
notsteve [10:56]: and my bed is comfy
sunpoodle [10:57]: proof or im just gonna assume youre lying
The boy tussles in his bed, his hair getting messy in his sheets. The music playing in the background only further pushes the intimate atmosphere, and so after receiving your message, he doesnât waste much time in opening his camera and putting effort into the angle of the picture heâs going to send you.
He makes sure not much of his face is shown. His phone screen mirrors mostly the white fabric of his pillowâ that is now tinder purple with the LED lightingâ but in the right corner, the majority of his tousled hair is shown. It looks soft against the sheets and he makes no real effort in tidying it, since he thinks it adds to the aesthetics of the picture. A glimpse of his face appears in the picture as wellâ only his left eye, though. It looks sleepy, hooded, and after squinting at the screen for a few seconds, Sunwoo decides to hit send.Â
The line is once again pushed a bit farther, making him wonder if his friend will follow in his footsteps and send a similar photo back. Itâs secretive enough, yet also daring enough to make the other side wonder and fantasizeâ what does the rest of his face look like? Did she see him around? Does she recognise his face?Â
âŚdoes she find the glimpse attractive? (God, Sunwoo, get a fucking grip!)
notsteve [11:02] â sends one picture
sunpoodle [11:03]: i feel like a victorian man seeing an ankle for the first time
The reaction makes Sunwooâs heart pick up at pace, a dumb smile running to his cheeks. If anyone saw him right now, heâd get bullied and picked on until the rest of his lifeâ itâs hard to hide the feelings he tries to keep under control, though. Itâs already difficult enough to deal with them on his ownâ he bets bottling it all up and pretending they donât exist would even result in making it all that much harder.
notsteve [11:04]: WDYMMMMM
notsteve [11:04]: be serious for once
sunpoodle [11:04]: oh i AM serious
sunpoodle [11:04]: i mean that bed sure does seem comfy o:))
Sunwoo feels like he is going to faint soon. Hell, he feels like the world is suddenly turning faster and itâs hard to keep up.
notsteve [11:05]: i heard its even comfier when you cuddle i mean what who said that
sunpoodle [11:06]: im open to trying that out for myself
There are pools forming in Sunwooâs palms during the course of the conversation, but they only deepen when he realizes that maybe he has to be the one to make the first step and initiate something actually real. Something that isnât just mysteriously looking selfies in the chat or silly conversations about cuddling and meeting up that could turn into reality, but arenât, and for what reason is making him absolutely insane.
And so he picks up all of his remaining courage and starts crafting the message inside of his head. How does he bring it up? How does he make it sound real? Like heâs being seriousâ that he wants to meet her and will turn crazy if it doesnât happen soon?Â
The semester ends in a few days and lord knows if his friend lives anywhere near the campus. Knowing that he wasted his only chance and opportunity would absolutely destroy him, no matter if itâs Christmas or not.Â
Before he has a chance to send the carefully crafted message, though, the tone of a new message in his phone makes his attention perk up, reading out the words sheâs sent to him via Discord and making his heart drop to the deepest pits of his stomach.
sunpoodle [11:10]: in all seriousness tho we should hang out sometime
sunpoodle [11:10]: since we live on the same campus and all lmao
sunpoodle [11:10]: (im trying to be so normal about this)
Well, thatâs sudden. And unexpected. The boy feels himself grinning, resulting in biting down on his bottom lip to keep himself from screaming out. Itâs finally happeningâ and he wasnât the one having to write it down first. Itâs not only him that seriously wants to meet up, and that has him metaphorically bouncing against the wall of his newly decorated room.
notsteve [11:10]: oh my god its happening
notsteve [11:11]: everyone stay calm
sunpoodle [11:12]: LMAO bE SERIOUS FOR ONE SEC
sunpoodle [11:12]: would love to meet outside of ur bedroom first thoÂ
notsteve [11:13]: omg ofc that was just a jokey joke
notsteve [11:13]: just tell me when and where n ill be there
notsteve [11:14]: im free literally whenever except from when im not and even then ill make sure i cancel any other thing sooo
sunpoodle [11:15]: what about after exams?
sunpoodle [11:15]: im busy on tuesday but i can do any other day
sunpoodle [11:16]: they opened a new cafĂŠ close to the campus if u wanna see?:)
Sunwoo feels on Cloud 9. Itâs finally happening and itâs so closeâ in just a week. More than 7 days, sure, but itâs still close enoughâ much closer than never, as he once presumed. Tussling a little in his bed, he makes sure his mouth is covered with his pillow before he lets out the scream heâs been holding for the last few minutes.Â
If Eric hears him, Sunwoo is gonna try to convince him that he just stubbed his toe. Nothing else.
The boy is painfully aware of the fact that heâs acting like a teenager in love for the first timeâ kicking his feet, giggling, thinking of his crush before falling asleepâ but frankly speaking, he doesnât really care. In just over 7 days, he can prove Ji Changmin and everyone wrong: he doesnât have a crush on someone he hasnât met before. Because in just over 7 days, he will meet the presumed love of his life and look at her with his own two eyes for the first time.
That day somehow feels more important than his own birthday. Maybe he should get the date tattooed⌠Heâll think about it.
When he finally takes his face out of the soft pillow, he notices his room went dark. When he reaches for the remote that belongs to the newly installed LED lights, he finds it not working. In any other circumstances, heâd consider either drowning himself in his bathtub or jumping out of his windowâ since he and Eric live on the 6th floor, it would be high enough to cause the damage neededâ but right at this moment, he feels like nothing could ever break his mood again.
notsteve [11:20]: about the lights thoâŚ
Sunwoo doesnât really know how he grew to love video games. If he really thinks about it, perhaps he could say it was just how boys always turn outâ fascinated with anything electric that had a cord attached to it (he once managed to make the power go out for the whole street when soldering his old pair of headphones that stopped working in one ear), but there was also something so fun about gaming that managed to make the boy stick to itâ and that thing was how easy it was to make friends during it.
When he was little and his dad bought him his first game boy for Christmas, he not only managed to boost in front of everyone at school during recess by playing with it, but he also managed to lend the device to everyone who stared at it with even the tiniest bit of desire in their eyes for too long. Sunwoo knew not everyone was as fortunate as him, and playing it was so funâ he thought no one should go without trying the game boy at least once. The other kids at the playground kept going back to him to play with his toy and the friendships eventually blossomed to the point that the people around him stayed even beyond the video gamesâ and thatâs how Sunwoo met his first ever friend, Ji Changmin.Â
Sunwoo always liked having a group of people around him. He enjoyed when his friends from high school would come over to his house and play with the Playstation console he begged for his birthday. He didnât mind anyone borrowing his phone during class and trying to solve the most difficult level of Geo Dash (since heâs the one that got the farthest in the game), because it meant he got to talk to the desperate gamers during break and have someone to run to the convenience store to buy snacks with afterwards.
He loved going to internet cafĂŠs, because even though the initial friendship he had with Eric Sohn and Lee Juyeon came around because they asked him to play Valorant after finding the poor boy alone, waddling into the place completely lonely during his first week of university, the bond got deeper and he canât imagine his life without the two men in it anymore.
Sure, video games are fun. He likes to play shooting games because he enjoys winning. The competitive nature in him thrives during video gamesâ he loves to tease his opponent, he loves to show that heâs the best. Yeah, Kim Sunwoo enjoys spending his time in the virtual world, escaping the mundane reality. But if he really dwelled deeper on it, he doesnât think playing Minecraft would be as enjoyable if he didnât talk to his online friend on the server every day, or if him and his friends didnât go out and eat dinner together after a round of Overwatch in the late hours of the day.
Which is why he created the Video Gaming club in the first place. To connect peopleâ to play games with the ones who need a buddy in their life. It made him smile to see people that met because of his club hanging out together even outside of itâ he felt like he was doing something good. Sunwoo prided himself in the fact that he was the one to connect people together through his hobby, that he could share precious moments and make precious bonds in his circle through gaming.Â
Maybe thatâs why the last meeting of the club for this semester made him so emotional. Truth be told, he didnât think the Video Gaming club would make it bigâ hell, he thought not many people would care to show up each time. As a pat on his back of some sort, Sunwoo decides that the last game of the winter semester should be his favourite.
âCanât believe you got us playing Minecraft of all games, what are we, 11?â Chan mutters from next to the club leader, making the boy snicker.
âJust say youâre embarrassed about the nickname you chose when you were 11.â
âNo, Iâm not.â
âOkay, mega_dino, Iâll believe you,â Sunwoo hums and nods, hearing his friends giggle as the younger one takes a hold of his gaming mouse.
Squinting his eyes at his screen, the club leader makes sure everything is set before the game starts. He already moved all of his important items from his main house into an underground hiding place of which coordinates heâd written down before getting to the internet cafĂŠâ knowing that his friends would want to sabotage him as soon as he lets them play on the server he carefully created. He knows letting them play on a different one would be much easier, but he kind of prefers to have the upper hand of owning a couple of diamond swords already, and heâs also too lazy to set up a new one. (And he would have to pay for itâ which he isnât really a fan of. Money is tight when you have to buy new LED lights off Temu every other week.)
âAre we starting already? I miss Minecraft,â Intak whines from the other side of the table, a glass of coke sitting in his hand.
âWhy are you saying it like itâs a childrenâs game?â Sunwoo shakes his head at the comments. Ever since he announced the game of choice for the week, all heâs gotten were either complaints or dreamy sighs about how nostalgic itâs gonna be. Is Minecraft not cool anymore? Should he get a new hobby?
âKinda is,â Yeji laughs, making the boy roll his eyes at her.
âYouâre just mad youâre missing out on all the fun,â he argues, âheal your inner child a little. Make that pretty house youâve always wanted!â
âI fuck with Minecraft,â an innocent voice lands into his ears from the opposite of himâ a voice he would often curse out and cringe at just because of itâs sheer existence in his proximity, but now tolerates in favor of keeping peace in the room. The comment still startles him, thoughâ he didnât expect anyone to agree with his point. Not if itâs you, anyway.
âCanât believe you two finally agree on something,â Aeri sighs from your side, the girl always glued to your hip. âYou do realise youâre having an advantage if youâre letting us play on your server, though?â
âItâs not like weâre playing extreme survival tournament, come on guysââ
âYou arenât,â you shrug, âdonât really know about the rest of us,â you comment, meeting his eyes with a smug look, a teasing grin slowly slipping its way onto your lips.
âIâm banning anyone who tries to kill me today from the club,â Sunwoo suddenly announces, making everyone sigh at the dramaticness of his theatrical words. âForever.â
âYou canât ban anyone over a gameââ Haechan chimes in, but is cut off by his peer instantly.
âI will call it harassment and bullying,â Sunwoo shrugs, âtry to argue with that.â
âYouâre just begging to get targeted at this point,â Aeri mumbles, shaking her head at him. Sheâs rightâ but Sunwoo is also kind of confident in his defence abilities.Â
Unless he gets ganged up on, of course.
Which could happenâ truth be told, heâs had it coming.
âLess talking and more gaming, please,â Yangyang calls from the corner, âI wanna steal Sunwooâs diamonds now. Turn the shit on.â
And although Sunwoo doesnât really like the implication of his friendâs words, he doesnât argue. Mainly because 15 minutes have already passed and the club is only supposed to go on for an hourâ which leaves the 10 of them only 45 minutes left to mine and do something meaningful. The owner of the server also moved the spawn point the farthest away from his houseâ in hopes of them not finding it and putting TNT all over the premises. (If they manage to craft some in the limited time space, that is. He doubts it, but truth be told, he can never be too sure.)
âOkay, I sent the IP of the server into the groupchat, so just type it in and press the Play button on the left and it should take you instantly here,â Sunwoo exclaims as he clicks on his server and connects to it, walking around the spawn point with his character for a bit, waiting for the rest of his group to arrive.
Pressing the TAB key, he keeps checking the usernames of the people jumping in. Once mega_dino turns up, he lets out an amused chuckleâ thereâs nothing that tops the nicknames you made when you were 11. Sunwooâs email address scares him to this day, but he is too lazy to make a new one, since all of his subscriptions and social media are tied to itâ it does make sending official emails to his university coordinators that much embarrassing, though.
Some nicknames are recognisableâ such as yejiiiji or haechanahceah, but some are less decipherable, leaving him guessing who could be the one joining the game. He doesnât ask about them, though, thinking that figuring it out as he plays will be more funâ when one nickname he recognises all too well suddenly shows up on the list of players, making his heart jump in surprise.
What is his friend doing on the server at this time of the day? She doesnât usually play in the early hours of the afternoonâ leaving her sessions to evening or late night. Thatâs when she calls Sunwoo and asks him to help her with mining (or begging for his diamonds, which he sometimes rejects, but complies with on the days he is the most weak to her cuteness).Â
He considers pulling up his phone and texting her on Discord to notify the poor girl about the influx of new players on the server. She must be confusedâ maybe even scared, who knowsâ to see so many new people playing at the same time. The server Sunwoo created was a bit small, hosting only a few of his friends and a couple of people he met online, so a big amount of players would surely make it seem like someone hacked him, right?
âIs everyone in?â he asks instead, hearing everyone let out excited hums and nods.
He furrows his brows. The server says 10 people are currently connected to it, but if his calculations are correct, the number should be 11â everyone from his club and his online best friend, sunpoodle.
He does a double take on the list, shaking his head. He counts the people in his head over and over again, a little frustrated. Why is everyone saying theyâre in? Itâs clearly not adding up.
Looking up from his computer, he eyes the rest of his friends in the cafĂŠ. Everyone is playing soundly and happily, it seems, paying him no mind as they get accustomed with the new world and warm back up to the controls of the game they havenât played in ages.Â
Everyone but one person. Everyone but you.
Instead, youâre left staring at him with stern eyes. The look you offer him is sharp, maybe a little hurtâ and at the moment, he doesnât know why. Confusion is the only feeling jumping around the walls of his brain, making an unpleasant crease appear in between his eyebrows. Gears slowly turning, he tries to figure it all out.
Youâre not playing. Youâre not paying attention to the game. Itâs like you know it allâ like youâre so familiar with it, as if playing it daily. As if you know the server he made. As if you have your house in it, decorated with a cute offering in front of the door, a portal to his own home residing in the front yard.
It happens quicklyâ the realisation. He finally makes the connection. It dawns on him why you look so surprised. Why you look so shocked, so disturbed.Â
Because if youâre the only unmoving one on the map right now and his online friend is not the one to play on Tuesday afternoons, there is only one explanation.Â
âOh my fucking god,â leaves his lips, albeit a little involuntarily. His voice is hoarse and harsh when he says the words, a final nail in the coffin for you as you stand up, the sound of the wheels of the chair churning against the floor, making everyoneâs eyes snap to you.
You donât turn off the game before you storm out of the room, giving him a clear view of your back, the character with the adorable skin youâve picked out staring back at him blankly in the game. For a second, he doesnât follow youâ letting himself process. Everyone turns to Aeri for answers, as sheâs the closest with you, but they get nothing as the girl just shrugs, equally confused, before she runs out of the room to find her best friend.
Sunwoos' ears start ringing. He feels like throwing up.Â
This canât beâŚ
Thereâs nothing more in this world that Kim Sunwoo enjoys more than playing Minecraft. He enjoys mining with music playing in his headphones. He loves crafting and making his house look perfectâ just like little him always wanted it when he watched all those videos on youtube growing up. He likes to prank his friend Juyeon by putting random dirt blocks all over his house, or stealing all of Younghoonâs sugar cane when heâs offline, too lazy to grow some himself. He likes to teleport to his friendâs house and leave little surprises at the door, only to hear her call him a few seconds later, her cheerful, yet soft voice repeating in his ears even after he turns off the game and goes to his bed, letting her stories lull him to sleep.Â
Thereâs nothing more in this world that Kim Sunwoo enjoys more than playing Minecraft with his online best friendâ the two of them ganging up on the dragon or entering the Nether together to find some glowstone for her house, because she wants it to look aesthetically pleasing. Thereâs nothing more he enjoys than helping her with little tasks and fighting off creepers away from her property, making sure they donât blow out all the hard work sheâs been putting in.
Thereâs nothing more in the world that he enjoys more than talking with his online friend during the mundane hours of the day, her messages making him hide his giggles in the back rows of his lecture halls. Nothing he enjoys more than her laugh, her jokes, her voice, her online presence. It calms him and sets him on fire all at once, and he doesnât think heâs ever cared for anyone this deeply.Â
How has he never noticed that the person he hates the most is also the same person that heâs pretty sure heâs in love with? How has he never noticed it was you all the time?
And really, thereâs nothing in the world Kim Sunwoo enjoys more than playing Minecraft with you. This time around, though, no progress in the world is made and your voice is not talking his ear off in the background. He shuts off the computer and leaves the place, not giving anyone an ounce of explanation.
You donât text him in the evening like you always do. Thereâs no night call to help him sleep better.
He doesnât turn the LED lights on in his room either, contemplating his life in complete darkness.
Nobodyâs seen or heard of Kim Sunwoo in just a little under a week. Actually, that is an over-exaggerationâ he went to take his exams, and he also went grocery shopping when he went out of ramen and his signature comfort food: red tasty KitKat barsâ but other than that, itâs like the boy has disappeared from the face of earth.
There is no Video Gaming club, since itâs officially break time nowâ for only 2 weeks, but stillâ and he is declining every single invitation to hang out coming from his friends. Heâs simply not in the mood to go anywhere or do anything, and so he spends his days locked away in his room.
Nothing is able to cut off his stream of thought. Heâs not listening to music, so the occasional sounds of his roommate moving somewhere in the shared apartment are the only background noise to his loud inner voice. The elevator music usually playing in his head is replaced by a screaming match, and although he wishes it would stop, he canât really control itâ until the sound of his door opening makes him jolt away from the nightmare heâs living in.
Usually, he just tells Eric to fuck off and leave his roomâ since he is not in the headspace right now to spare anyone kindness, it seemsâ but when the disgusted face of Ji Changmin enters the place, Sunwoo knows there is no escaping this interrogation.
âMan, it stinks in here,â the boy grunts, moving through the obstacle course Sunwooâs room has turned into in the few days he hasnât bothered to put away his dirty laundry.Â
âGo away,â Sunwoo says. Itâs a weak attemptâ he already knows he lost this battle.
âYeah, no,â Changmin shakes his head before moving to the window, opening it. âEric orders a wellness check on you, so Iâm not leaving until I figure out whatâs wrong. I was told you left the club early the last time?â
Sunwoo doesnât offer him a response. All Changmin can do is guess in this situation, and trust me, although theyâre best friends, sadly, they still havenât developed telepathyâ and so the conversation is a little tougher than the squirrel-like boy would prefer.
âDid something happen?â
Sunwoo recognises itâs already dark outside, the sound of cicadas landing into his ears through the open window. He doesnât know how long heâs been glued to his mattress, but it makes him feel a little foolish. Not more than his previous actions, thoughâ that surely takes the crown.
âI have a crush on Y/N,â Sunwoo speaks into the existence, startling the boy.
Itâs weird for the boy to call you by your name in regards to his feelings. While he was so sure of his growing adoration for you when he spoke to you online, unaware of your real identity, itâs much harder to admit it to himself when the person he spent countless nights dreaming about finally turns into reality, and itâs not the form he expected. Itâs confusing. Itâs overwhelmingâ it leaves him thinking. Why did it have to be you?
âWhat?â Changmin asks, genuine shock and surprise coating his tone. âI thought you hated Y/N.â
The words sting like a slap to his face. He hated you. How could he ever be so reckless with his words to you? How could he be so mean? You must hate him now.
âDidnât you have a crush on that online girl? Whatâ Iâm confused, manâŚâ Changmin trails off, finally sitting at Sunwooâs bed, the weight of his body making the mattress shift under the lazy manâs figure.Â
âSheâs the same person,â Sunwoo explains, the weight of his words making heaviness fall over the whole room, coating it with deep silence.
Changmin must think heâs foolish. He must think he is being crazyâ hell, he must judge him for liking someone who once broke his heart, even though he was unaware it was the same person that made him feel so loved just by talking to him online.Â
He cares about what you think more, though. Do you never wanna see him again? Do you hate him? He would hate himself, if he was you.Â
Does he hate you? Does he want to see you again? Is your friendship over?
Did he lose you?
He hasnât spoken to you in what feels like forever. Sunwooâs throat closes on itself, making a real, visceral emotion run through his whole body and hit right in his chest, close to his heart. The corners of his eyes burn and he feels like running out of the room straight onto an ongoing trafficâ he is unsettled. He feels terrible.
âDude, are you crying?â Changmin asks with a shiteating grin on his face, pointing towards the younger oneâs face.Â
âNo!â Sunwoo bluntly replies, voice hoarse and scratchy, harshly wiping off the tear that managed to roll down his cheekâ almost slapping himself in the process.Â
Changmin laughs. He laughs. Like itâs funny. Like itâs unserious and nothing is going on, like there is nothing to be worried about, and Kim Sunwoo is just being his overdramatic self, as always. Changmin laughs as if liking someone who once broke your friendâs heart is silly and not a big deal. As if not recognising someone you like online in real life is a normal experience, and not completely embarrassingâ as if being mean to the same person you claim to adore is fine, and nothing to hate yourself over.
Sunwoo is conflicted. Talk about cognitive dissonance.
âWhy are you laughing? Itâs not funny,â Sunwoo pouts, the familiar wrinkle appearing in the middle of his eyebrows again, making his friend roll his eyes at the boyâs distress.
Changmin sighs. âIt kinda is, if you think about it,â he shrugs, âyou claim to hate Y/N, but turns out youâve been in love with her all alongâŚâ
âYouâre really not helping.â
âWell, what do you want me to do?â Changmin snickers. âI think this makes it easier for you. I know you were nervous about meeting her in real life, so this kind of takes off the pressure, since you already know each other.â
Sunwoo looks at his friend like heâs crazy. Does he not get the full weight of the situation? Does he not realise how serious this all is?
âWhat are you even talking about? Do you not hate me?â Sunwoo asks.
âMe?â Changmin asks, his head turning to the side like a confused puppyâs. âI donât think Iâm the person you need to worry aboutâ although Iâm sure you worry plentyâ why would I hate you for liking Y/N?â
âBecause she is your ex-girlfriend?â Sunwoo mumbles, twisting in his bed to have a better look at his friend.Â
He is met with a few seconds of silence. He is starting to think his whole life is a joke and he is in some sort of a weird knock-off of the Truman show. How can you and Changmin both have the same reaction to his undying loyalty? He is being taken for granted, thatâs for sure.
âYou utter buffoon, that was ages ago! I honestly forget we even dated sometimes, it was so short-lived,â Changmin laughs before he rests his back against the wall of Sunwooâs room, getting more comfortable in his new position. He knows the conversation isnât over yetâ there is more on the boyâs mind than the past relationship.
âOh,â Sunwoo hums.Â
âYeah, oh,â Changmin laughs. âI honestly thought there was more to your hate towards Y/N, but I never really asked because I thought it was some gamer stuff or something that I couldnât give two shits about. If I had known it was all because of my relationship from high school, I wouldâve set the record straight a long time ago.â
âWell, maybe you shouldâve.â
Sunwoo feels defeated. Like a deflated balloon. The weight on his shoulders stays the same despite the newfound informationâ because truth be told, this was never the problem in the first place.
And he is aware of that. Changmin is as wellâ he knows his best friend a little too much.
âBut thatâs not all there is to it, is it?â Changmin hums, poking the boyâs side with his long finger, burying it into his hoodie-covered flesh.
Sunwooâs averted gaze and the chewing on the inside of his cheek is enough of an answer. âWhat is it?â
âItâs just⌠I donât know how to feel about Y/N anymore,â Sunwoo confesses, snickering to himself. âLike, online, she was this perfect angel, likeâ donât laugh at me now, you know Iâm fucking sensitiveâ she was just⌠she was everything, you know?â
Changmin hums. âAnd in real life?â
âIn real life, we were never really close and I hated her. How can I like someone I so strongly dislike in real life? Itâs stupidâŚâ
âYou only hated what she did to me when we were teenagers, Sunwoo. You made yourself loathe something that wasnât even there,â Changmin says, smiling sympathetically at the boy. âDo you think she is suddenly a different person to the one you got to know online just because she made a few mistakes when we were young?â
âI dunnoâŚâ
âI think you do know, youâre just scared to admit it to yourself, because you know you were a dick to her,â his best friend bluntly announces, watching Sunwoo wince at the words. Truth hurtsâ but itâs what he needs to hear. Because Changminâs right, and Sunwoo is too tired of keeping all of these doubts hidden.
âChangmin, I canât like herââ
âWhy?â the boy cuts him off. âBecause you said so? You were so big on saying how much you loved her for who she is, without knowing her in real life and knowing what she looked like. And sure, I made fun of you for it countless times beforeâ but donât you think you know her well enough by now? And donât try to tell me you donât know her just because you met online, because you know youâd be a fucking hypocrite.â
âBut itâs Y/N.â
âDoes that make any difference?â
Sunwoo moves from the inside of his cheek to bite at the dry skin of his lower lip. After tugging at the chapped mess, he feels iron on his tongue from tearing off a piece of his skin, eyes still pressed sternly into the ceiling.Â
Does it make any difference? Does Sunwoo like you less now that he knows who you are? It was never about the looks for himâ and god knows he barely even knew you in real life. Saying he wasnât interested anymore would make him a hypocrite.Â
Every time he thinks of the night talks you two shared and the secrets youâd tell him, trusting him with anything and everything, his heart still stummers in his chest and his stomach does that weird thing everyone in the romantic movies his roommate Eric watches talks aboutâ but now, the girl has a face and a voice, and Sunwoo canât say he hates it. He canât say he hates you.
âI guess it doesnât,â Sunwoo whispers, saying the obvious.
He still wants you. Just the way you are. Sure, he was shockedâ anyone would beâ but the feelings he has for you are still the same; itâs just the hate that slowly left his body, disappearing like the puddles of rain on the pavement on a sunny day.Â
He canât hate someone so important to him. How foolish of him to once think you were the bane of his existence.
âSo why donât you two just talk it out?â Changmin asks, pointing out the obvious.
Sunwoo plays with the skin around his cuticles for a while, nervously picking at the loose skin and making himself bleed once again, the nerves getting the worst out of him. âI think Iâm a little scared.â
âSo I was right. Youâre scared she will push you away because you were a dick to her all those times before,â Changmin once again states the obvious.
âBasically,â Sunwoo says, his insecurities slowly slipping through his mouth and out to the wild, hanging in the air. âAs much as my feelings didnât change, I think hers might have. And thatâs⌠thatâs scary.â
In Sunwooâs eyes, what you and he had together was special. He never wanted to lose you to something like thisâ over spite, a foolish lack of judgement. The thought of never talking to you again is making his insides crash on themselves, guilt slowly, but surely eating him alive. The best thing thatâs ever happened to him might be royally fucked over, and there is no one else he can blame but himself.
âWell, you donât know that. And although I know you might be too scared to find out, you two both need to have a talk. Donât you think you owe each other that much?â
Changminâs right. He almost always isâ he doesnât know why Sunwoo ever thought the older one needed protecting. Like a pouty child, Kim Sunwoo is comforted by his best friendâs words, maybe even a little scolded and enlightened by the dimpled boy. The appreciation in his heart almost outgrows the worry, but there is still a you-shaped hole in his chest that he feels the need to fillâ only if you allow him to.
He didnât expect for it to end up being you, but he doesnât hate the idea.Â
Heâs not opposed to it. He welcomes it, becauseÂ
Itâs still the same you. In whatever form, in whatever shapeâ he knows your soul, and he fears nothing will ever take away and move the feelings he treasures for you to another place, to some other.
Theyâre reserved for you only. (Also, he always thought your cunning smile was nice to look at. He just tried to suppress the idea of it deep, deep within his mind.)
âWe were supposed to meet tomorrow,â Sunwoo hums, âIâll see if she⌠still wants to come.â
Changmin smiles. âI knew you were smarter than this.âÂ
The backhanded compliment would rile him up on most occasionsâ this time, though, he knows itâs deserved.
One would say Kim Sunwoo didnât think much before going up to the new cafĂŠ that opened downtown the week after exams, just like you two scheduled. Why?
First of all, he didnât really check in with you to see if the offer is still up and if you want to meet him after all of this. Second of all, he turned up almost 35 minutes too early, since he was so nervous pacing around his flat that he physically couldnât stay in the closed space anymore, and third of all, heâs fairly certain he put two different socks on when he was dressing himself, and after further inspection by the front door of the coffee place, pulling his jeans up to take a look, he finds out his suspicions were correct.
The thing is, though, against popular belief, Kim Sunwoo thought almost a little too much before going to the scheduled hangout. He thought about it the whole night beforeâ and the whole previous week, if heâs being honest. He thought about it so much it consumed his every waking thought, leaving him all over the place, distracted and distressed. On most occasions, Eric had to ask a question five times before he was heard by his dear roommate, and if he wanted a real answer out of him, he had to gentle parent him through the conversation.
Sunwoo thought about it so much up to the point that you were all that was in his head. You and your last conversations on Discord which he spent the whole week rereading, you and your house in Minecraft that was left untouched since the last time you two played together (he checked). You and your laugh and the gentle, soft voice you only used with him on your callsâ the voice that lulled him to sleep and make him feel butterflies in his stomach, unrecognisable to the hardened tone you used with him whenever you met up in real life when the conflicts he used to stir got the best out of you.
You and your cunning smile. You and your piercing, playful gaze. You and your hair that always kept falling into your face when you were crouched over the keyboard. Itâs almost laughable how much he managed to pay attention to you in real life before knowing you were the same person he spent months adoring over the internetâ the universe really works in strange ways sometimes.
So really, Kim Sunwoo has thought a lot about you and you two meeting before actually leaving the house; which could also very well be the reason why he didnât text you to see if you still want to see him in the first placeâ in fear of being declined, in fear of being rejected by the only person he so deeply craves the validation from.
If you donât show up, he will just go home and pretend none of this ever happened.
(Or at least he hopes he can.)
The more time he spends standing in front of the coffee shop, though, the more his hope of ever seeing you again gets smaller and smaller. Minutes are slowly passing him by like last summer, and he swears heâs never felt the passing of time more than right in this moment. He feels like he is gaining 5 years every 5 minutes that heâs standing in the middle of the pavementâ the clock striking well past 20 minutes of when you were supposed to meet.
He will give it 10 more minutes, he thinks. 20, at most. Maybe he can wait an hour. Maybe you got stuck in the traffic. Maybe you got confused with the timeâŚ
Or maybe youâre just not coming, and he has to accept that.
Kicking the rocks under his feet while also trying to get out of the way of people walking past, he puts his hands deep into his pockets. He would rather die than to embarrass himself in front of you by texting you, and so he figures that if he just waits a few more minutes, God will surely give him a sign of when to stop holding back his tears and go back homeâŚ
âYou look like a kicked puppy,â a voiceâ teasing, yet also a bit cautiousâ falls into his ears, making him perk up and look behind his shoulder. God must really love him today, he thinks.
No words escape his mouth for the time being. His brain goes short circuit a little at the sight of youâ and in that moment he fully realises that he didnât actually expect you to come, and that makes him feel even worse about himself. Relief washes over him like a wave of tsunami, the surprised look adorning Sunwooâs face disappearing in seconds as he tries to manage his racing heartbeat.
âYou came,â slips out from between his lips, making the boy immensely embarrassed with his choice of words.Â
âI did,â you nod, pressing your lips tightly against each other, an awkward half-smile doing nothing to calm down Sunwooâs nerves. âI figured you either come and we figure this out, or you donât and I get something to treat myself to chase down the disappointment.â
Youâd be disappointed if he didnât come. Just the sentiment makes Sunwooâs heart do backflips in his ribcageâ how could he ever think he hated you?Â
âKind of same, actually,â he replies, nodding.
An awkward silence falls over you two like a weighted blanket, making Sunwooâs stomach churn in discomfort. This is not how he imagined your first meeting to beâ but then again, itâs not like he is meeting his online best friend (if he can even call you that anymore) for the first time. He tries to find the memory of your first meeting somewhere in the depths of his mind, but much to his dismay, he is left unsuccessful. He never really deemed it that important beforeâ curse him and his reckless teenage mind.
âUhm,â you hum, scratching the back of your neck, âI was⌠the bus was late, by the way. I didnât purposefully let you wait to like, get back at you or something,â you suddenly explain, your lips stretching into a sympathetic smile.
The explanation doesnât matter to him anymore. He doesnât care if you came 20 minutes late and if you took the bus or if you built a portal in the back rooms of the very cafĂŠ youâre supposed to enter in a few minutesâ all that matters is that you came and that youâre here, right in front of Sunwooâs eyes, and youâre not pulling out a machete or an axe on him as a revenge for all the times he acted wrongly towards you in the past.
âOh, no worries,â he hums almost immediately, âyouâre here now, and thatâs all that matters,â he nods.Â
After another shared, prolonged look between the two of youâ one in which he scans you up and down, as if actually seeing you for the first time (and noticing the switch in your usual attire: you exchanged your cargo pants for a skirt, something more fancy, yet telling), a look in which he gets all red in his cheeks, wondering if you noticed the way he did his hair differently today, just to appeal to youâ he clears his throat and takes a step towards the cafĂŠ, opening the door for you like the gentleman he tries to be today. âLetâs go in, then!â
You follow his lead, entering the small, yet cozy place. The cold weather outside makes a good contrast with the heating of the cafĂŠ, and when Sunwoo takes a look at the board above the counter, he finds a seasonal menu welcoming him in with a big bear hug. Hot chocolate is just what he needs after all of this, and he wonât deny himself the pleasure of one now.
âHot choccy?â you ask, smiling softly at the silent figure standing next to you. Sunwoo is caught off-guard with your suggestion and the gentle curve of your lips just the same, warmth spreading to the inside of his heart at the realisation that you know him so well. Itâs her. Itâs really her, he gasps in disbelief.
âWant one as well?â he asks after nodding, watching you shrug. He takes that as a yes, and since he thinks he did a lot of damage over the course of your friendship, he takes the lead and pays for your drink to try and make up for itâ which you donât fight him over, and he doesnât find it in him to care. Actually, he thinks he kind of appreciates it.Â
After taking a seat in one of the booths in the cornerâ the cream sofa hugs him in just well, and Sunwoo thinks he might just give this place a 5 star review on Yelp, depending on the way this date- I mean⌠friendly gathering goesâ he is met with another excruciating, suffocating silence. He never really had much trouble talking to you beforeâ surely not online, but also not whenever you were around in real life settings as well, since he always found a way to tease you and make fun of you, giving you most of his undivided attentionâ but this time around, he thinks keeping up a conversation with you might just be the hardest thing heâs ever had to experience.Â
You make him nervous. You make him doubtful. If he wondered about how youâd perceive him after meeting him before knowing you two were acquainted already, he is wondering even more nowâ do you hate him? Do you wish he wasnât the one sitting opposite of you right now? Do you want to leave and never talk to him again?
Is he good enough? Does he live up to the expectationsâ if you even had any?
All previous hatred towards you disappears as fast as a click of your finger, and Kim Sunwoo is left breathless at the fact that youâre right there, in front of himâ his online best friend. He thinks he might have still liked you even if you turned out to be a mass murderer. He thinks he might have still liked you even if you were a 50 year old male in a disguise. He thinks the bond you two have built over the internet is much stronger than any mean comments he threw your way beforeâ and the only thing left is to hope you feel the same.
Opening his mouth to speak, he thinks itâs time to have that conversation.
âListen, Iââ
âWere you disappointed that it was me?â you cut him off suddenly, fast as lightningâ as if to hurry to get the question out before you chicken out of it.
Sunwoo is left staring at you open-mouthed, shocked. There was not a single minute of his existence where heâd feel disappointed with your identity. The thought never even crossed his brain once, and suddenly, he feels stupid.Â
He left you hanging for a whole weekâ all because he thought youâd hate him. He left you wondering in silence, doubting yourself and thinking youâre not who he wouldâve likedâ all because of his own insecurities. Why has he not thought of your side of things as well?
âNo,â he simply states, watching your face morph into a more relaxed one, eyes softening. âNot at all, no,â he shakes his head.
âI justâ itâsâŚâ
âIâm sorry if I ever made you feel that way,â Sunwoo utters out. You press your lips together, listening. âWas I surprised? Mhm. Shocked? Yeah, of course I was⌠but no, I was never disappointed that it turned out to be you. Not for a single moment.â
âI thought you hated me,â you note, chuckling. The words sting on Sunwooâs skin, but he figures heâs not the one to be hurt right nowâ and so he sucks it up and hums.
âI was being petty,â he agrees. âAnd childish. Nothing to be so passionate about as I was,â he admits, forcefully laughing at his own actions. âNothing to throw away everything we⌠nothing to throw away the friendship that means so much to me.â
The sincerity of his own words scares him. There is a quiet desperation in him that wants to prove to you that heâs not as bad as he presented himself to be. There is a need in him to fix everything he ruined, to show you that heâs the same Sunwoo you know from the internet, and that all of this is worth it.Â
âAnd Iâm sorry, just⌠just by the way.â
Sunwoo never thought heâd be left apologizing to youâ but here he is. Maybe this whole thing taught him somethingâ maybe you taught him something.Â
âAh,â you shrug. âItâs okay. I mean, it was kind of fun watching you be so pressed about nothing, but Iâm glad itâs resolved now,â you laugh.
You laugh, and the atmosphere immediately clears. Sunwoo feels like he can breathe lighter, like the cold isnât so overbearing outside, like he hadnât just spent the last week locked in his room, contemplating the point of living at all. He didnât think it would be this easyâŚÂ
Something inside of him truly believed he lost you for good.Â
âI mean, you were the one that ran out of the internet cafĂŠ without an explanationââ
âYou cursed me out!â you argue, kicking his shin lightly under the table.
The boy fakes offense, pointing his finger at you. âThat wasnât directed at you! Just the situation in general.â
âThat includes me,â you add.
âSure, but stillâ I was just surprised. I really didnât expect my online best friend to be sitting in the same room as me every week, thatâs for sure,â he says, watching as your eyes light up at the title, a cute smile overtaking your features.
âI also didnât expect you to ghost me for a full week after,â you add, shrugging. âYouâre usually so desperate for attention,â you hum, making the boyâs cheeks heat up like a furnace, eyes averting your gaze at all costs. Now, this surely wasnât on the list of things he wanted to discuss with you today.
Clearing his throat, he makes eye contact with his mug instead, desperately trying to shift the topic of the conversation. âDrink it, itâs getting coldâŚâ
âSure⌠Whatever you say, Steve,â you tease. When he looks up at you from under his eyelashes, thereâs the same cunning smile on your face that he watched all those times when you won against him at League of Legendsâ the same smile that used to always drive him crazy, but he now recognises that he translated the implications of his insanity all wrong (because he thinks that maybe somewhere deep inside of his romantic, rotten soul, he might have known all along)â and he wonders if this was the smile you always wore when you made fun of him for falling asleep on the call with you again, the boy using your soft, sleepy voice as a lullaby.Â
Sunwoo almost chokes on his drink, pointing an accusing finger at you. âSpeaking of,â he starts, âthe kids miss you. Go and feed them, miss,â he says, watching you roll your eyes at him. The dogs you co-parent with him in Minecraft have been sitting near your front door ever since you last logged out, and even though coming to your house felt like an emotional torture in the time you were gone, Sunwoo always managed to feed them like he would with a real animal.
Call him childish, for all he cares.Â
âOkay, damn,â you say, rolling your eyes at him. âYou only say that because you want me to finally move our beds together, donât you?â you tease him, referencing the little offering he made for you months agoâ the one thatâs still secure outside of your house despite many of its renovations.
Sunwoo almost chokes on his drink again. You grin at himâ a sight that makes his insides feel like they were threaded with gold. He swears hot chocolate has never felt so sweet before.Â
If he wasnât sure of it before, heâs fairly certain nowâ you can fall for someone over the internet. And yes, the crush translates to its full form after meeting them in person.
âI mean, I wouldnât be opposed to itâŚâ he mumbles, not really quick enough to come up with a good comeback now that heâs face to face with you, making you giggle cutely at his sudden shyness. This is not how you know Kim Sunwooâ the sheepish composure is so far of the boy you met online, but also the one that ridiculed you during a casual game of CS:GO weeks ago.
âIâll decide if itâs worth it after you show me the lights youâve been talking my ear off about,â you sayâ and he thinks he won. Because this is an invitation to his roomâ an invitation for further hangouts. If you keep flirting with him like this, Sunwoo thinks he might just combust.
There is only one problem, though.
âAbout the lightsâŚâ
BONUS // A YEAR LATER
If you wouldâve told Kim Sunwoo that he will end up in a long distance relationship only a bit more than a year ago, he wouldâve believed you. See, heâs a stranger to denialâ he is quite good at accepting his own feelings for what they were, inwardly, at leastâ and so he was fairly certain he was in love with his online best friend even before he had a chance to meet her. Somewhere along the line, given the fact that his feelings would be reciprocated, he imagined going further with the establishment, no matter how far or close in distance you were from each other.
Turns out, life is funny in many ways and his online best friend, the proclaimed love of his life, lived just around the corner with her roommate Aeri. She still doesnât like him that much, but Sunwoo puts effort into visiting his girlfriend at her place often, in hopes that her best friend finally warms up to him a littleâ he thinks itâs almost like approaching a stray cat. The Sylvanian families shrine the two girls hold in their living room is also fascinating to himâ he didnât think someone with a stern look like Aeriâs could stare at something so adorable and small so lovingly.
âSunwoo, once again, we are not in a long distance relationship,â you say over the speakers of his sisterâs laptop that he borrowed just so he could call with you, making him mourn into the poor-quality microphone.Â
âWe are! Youâre so far away right now, how can you justify it not being a long distance relationship?âÂ
âWe literally saw each other a week ago,â you deadpan, âand we will see each other again after we come back to uni, you moron.â
See, Sunwooâs definition of a long distance relationship is a bit warped. As long as youâre not in the same town as him, he considers you too far awayâ and in any other circumstance, you would find it cute (bless his heart), but when youâre trying to enjoy your break with your family that you havenât seen in a while, itâs becoming just the tiniest bit overbearing.
âThatâs too long.â
âYouâre being a baby,â you grunt, making your boyfriend pout at the other side of the call, seen by his web camera. You were against turning your own on, but were forced to nonethelessâ Sunwooâs âI need to see your face or else Iâll dieâ was too convincing not to. You know he wonât, but at the same time, the poor boy could turn a little manic at timesâ you had to make sure he will survive until your next meeting.
âGod, a man canât even miss his long distance girlfriend in peaceââ
âI am not your long distance girlfriend. Weâre literally only like 4 hours away from each other right now, thatâs not evenââ
âIf you think about it,â Sunwoo cuts you off, making you sigh. âItâs like weâre back to square one. Yâknow, before we started dating.â
âNot reallyâŚ?â you try to argue with him, planning to point out the fact that back then, you used to call on Discord and not Whatsapp, with no camera on and using fake names, but the boy cuts you off fast, knowing that youâre right and he just canât let you have the point.
âI miss your kisses, thatâs all.â
Still hung up on the previous comment, you sigh. âWe werenât even kissing back then, Sunwoo.â
The boy stares at you for a second, blinking, before he breaks out into a huge grin. âWell, maybe not you. Me, however, I was kissing the screen everytime your character showed upââ
âIâm going to end the call,â you warn him. Why are you even dating him? He has a bitchless loser energyâ maybe you should let him live up to it.
âNo no noâ okay, Iâll be normal.â
âI find that hard to believe,â you sigh.
If you wouldâve told Kim Sunwoo that he will end up in a long distance relationship only a bit more than a year ago, he wouldâve believed you. After seeing the little heart shaped altar in front of your house in Minecraft every time he playsâ your beds now stuck together, making him sense that he finally made itâ he truly wouldnât find this accusation hard to believe.
Truth be told, though, heâs much happier with having a normal relationship with you.
One where he gets to hold you, one where he gets to kiss you. One where you finally come over and he gets to impress you with the LED strip he finally got off a proper electronic place instead of a cheap online store, investing money into the device he gets to use behind the locked doors of his room for atmospheric purposes whenever you twoâ
Anyways.Â
Maybe Changmin was right and he was always being just too overly-dramatic. He was also right when he accused Sunwoo of having a huge crush on you online, after all.Â
Still, Sunwoo wouldnât change it for anything. Despite the history you share, he actually thinks youâre pretty fucking cute.
And real. And his.Â
And thankfully, not a thousand miles away. (Although it may feel like it right now.)
you never thought your humble, little podcast would ever touch somebody's soul like it did one kim sunwoo's.
⡠genre, warnings. s2f2l, mutual pining/crushing, college au, fluff, minor angst, humor, comfort, swearing, i actually know very little about anything going on w their majors tbh LOL đ, uhh sunwoo's a simp but wbk, the outline of sunwoo's abs but if u read too fast u will miss it, kissing, low-key miscommunication trope (im sorry i hate those too), rip sorry yangyang, uhm they're kinda cute i *guess* :/, if there r typos then whoops i don't like editing !!
⡠word count. 28.7k help TT
this is the fifth installment of the love in unity series! this fic can be read as a standalone, but there will be references to the main plotline and all other yns will be referred to as _!yn. ALSO, the second episode specifically has a direct reference to a scene from flight risk, but the rest of the fic won't need any other outside context!
a/n: for @justalildumpling and her chopsticks <3 i dragged myself out of writer's block, pls reblog :'))
EPISODE ONE (PILOT): RHAPSODY⌠LIKE THE BOHEMIAN ONE?
THERE was something about general education requirement courses that felt too much like a university scam. Why was it required to learn more about things that wouldnât help oneâs chosen career path in the long run? Sunwoo hadn't necessarily been thrilled when he wasn't able to get one of the lower level English classes to fill his requirement, but the 300-level literature class had so far turned out to be⌠actually interesting. Well, the literature itself was interesting enough. The professor?... Not so much.
There was one thing about this class that he could safely say kept him sane though. And it was more so a person than a thing.
The discussion classroom wasn't terribly full as he strolled through the door with his hoodie thrown over his dark brown curls and headphones, a pretty voice flowing through the ear pieces as he took his usual seat to the side of the room.
"...and we're back! Hope you all enjoyed this week's song recommendation. It's been a favorite of mine ever since my dad introduced it to me when I was a kid. An absolute road trip bangerâ"
Sunwoo's eyes flickered up to see that the TA for the discussion wasn't yet here, but he lowered the volume on his headset slightly in case.
"âkudos to all the songwriters out there. Writing relevant stuff that transcends time is hard, man. I can't even make meaningful conversation with my graduate student supervisor."
A small smile curled the corners of his lips upward. Just as he anticipated the segment on the host geeking out about her favorite oldies music picks, he heard insteadâ
"I can't even make meaningful conversation with my other grad student supervisors, you know?"
Wait a minute. Confusion flickered across Sunwoo's face as he checked and lifted one of his headphone ears. That can't be rightâŚ
Somebody sat down in the seat beside him, almost startling him because he had his back to the door. It was you, the pretty second-year who he had met on the first day of this discussion a few weeks ago. But he was peering at you now in a whole new light as a smile lingered on your face from your conversation with the classâs TA.
When you felt his eyes on you, you flashed him a bright grin. âHey, Sunwoo.â
He cleared his throat, fumbling to turn his headphones off and follow your lead in taking out the materials needed for todayâs discussion. âOh, hey, Yn.â It occurred to him just how creepy he was probably being just thenâŚjust watching you. But the thoughts in his brain were flying around like mosquitoes around his headâhad he been hearing things?
âWhatâd you think of the reading?â You asked him pleasantly.
The reading from the past week had been the first third of a novel called The Stranger, a version translated from its original written in French. Sunwoo sucked in a breath, grimacing, âItâs not my favorite,â he drawled. âI have no idea what the point of his character is, to be honest.â
You pursed your lips and nodded your head. âYeah, heâs a little⌠flat,â you chuckled.
âIs this supposed to tie into the theory that professor was talking about last week?â He asked then, in an effort to actively shift his brainâs focus away from your awfully familiar voice and sayings, and to the present.
âSomething about how he doesnât fit societal standards. I think itâs existentialism and nihilism. Well, at least I think it is.â
Huh. Interesting. Sunwoo gave a little bob of his head, and this was just when the TA turned everyoneâs attention to a class discussion about the novel. He definitely hadnât thought of those terms specifically when reading, but at the same time, he did understand where you were getting that sentiment from. He just couldnât articulate his view of literature quite as well as you could. That had made you somewhat intimidating to him in the beginning, besides your very cute smile, but he was hoping he could learn something from you nonetheless.
You werenât even a literature major, he realized as he listened to you offer your thoughts to the group. It was cool, thoughâyou were cool.
â âś
The Songbird Station was a podcast, radio-esque show that Sunwoo had discovered over summer break, a few weeks ago. The podcast was hosted by an anonymous host who dubbed herself âDJ Dove.â She definitely didnât mind talking about a few of her personal life experiences; it was easy to simply bar the names and identities. Sunwoo had binged all two seasons so far of the podcast, happily tuning in as a silent listener and admirer of hers for awhile, and he had always wondered where she went to school or who she was, but it hadnât invaded his thoughts like this before.
Sunwoo laid in his bed the day after the literature discussion, his hands resting on his stomach and his expression turned up toward the violet-red LED-lit ceiling of his room. His phone sat on the edge of his nightstand as it played a playlist of songs that Dove had recommended to her listenersâor well, he wondered if he could safely assume that what he heard yesterday was correct, and that you were DJ Dove.
It would make sense, he thought. You were a sound and music production major, had great taste in music (from the brief conversations you struck up with him while in class), and you literally said the exact same thing that Dove had said over the podcast. It couldnât have just been a coincidence. And now that he thought about it, your voice really did sound a lot like DJ Doveâs. There was a sort of friendly warmth to both of your voices, andâandâ
Knock, knockâ âAye, Sunwoo! I'm going to Juyeon's place now. Are you sure you don't wanna come with?"
Oh, right. He had nearly forgotten that Eric had planned to head over to their new mutual friend's apartment tonight to watch a sports game. Juyeon was a friend of a friend of a friendâthe connections ran long in their friend circle, he supposed. Sunwoo stole a peak at his phone screen for the time and his joints ached at the sight of 8:53 on the face. His face screwed up as he replied to his friend and roommate, âNah, I think I'm still just gonna chill here tonight.â
He grabbed his phone fully off the nightstand this time and turned onto his side.
âOh, okay. Don't burn the apartment down and don't steal my ramen!â
Sunwoo squished his face down into his pillow, raising his voice slightly since his words would probably be muffled, "I'm not going to steal your ramen!" This guy.
He heard Eric grumble something under his breath from the other side of the door, followed by the sound of footsteps moving farther away from his room. When he heard the front door close, he let out a breath and turned back to his phone. To his surprise, he had managed to absentmindedly navigate away from the playlist screen and to the Songbird Station homepage, filled with a collection of all of your links. One of these links was for listeners to submit song recommendations or ask questions, and most of the time, they were all anonymous with their own little nicknames.
He had never fully considered doing it⌠but that didnât mean he hadnât ever partially thought about it. He definitely imagined becoming one of Doveâs more frequent anonymous submitters and becoming friends with herâon a level that one could consider oneself friends between two anonymous users, at least.
But up until now, he hadnât thought that he could do it. Well, because Dove was Dove; he was one of hundreds of listeners.
âBut sheâs Yn,â he thought aloud to himself, turning back onto his back to speak to the ceiling, as if the layer of plaster above his head could possibly give him a viable answer. âThereâs probably a reason she doesnât use her actual name,â he pondered further, expression contorted into deep contemplation. âThis feels wrong!â He groaned.
There was at least one person he could count on to deal with his bullshit.
sunwooâs phone: yes or no
tree rat: no
âWell, screw you, too,â Sunwoo huffed as he swiped out of his and Changminâs text chain. Out of all the times Changmin said ânoâ randomly, it had to be this time.
It didnât matter much anyway though. Sunwoo went back to the links page and clicked on the anonymous submissions. He was met with a customized greeting page from the hostess herself, as she thanked her listeners and asked what theyâd like to contribute to the show.
Sunwoo moved to sit up against his headboard as he racked his brain for something to say. He had tons to say, but the first message had to be perfect, right?
âItâs fine,â he said out loud, thumbs flying over the keyboard to type out the first thing that came to mind. After all, it was completely anonymous, so it wasnât like she wouldâor you wouldâeven know it was him.
He probably read over his little paragraph about a hundred times before attempting to figure out an anonymous name to sign off with. He hugged his knee to his chest when he couldnât come up with something cool, charming, or unique. Maybe he would stay completely unknown for now. Maybe he wouldnât even have the courage to submit another message after this one anyway!â
"Rhapsody," he said aloud. Rhapsody was a cool word. Rhapsody anon? Was that who he would sign as?
He did the most logical course of action: look up the word. He asked the internet for its most basic definition, then somehow ended up in the rabbit hole of etymology of the word rhapsody. It described one who stitched verses or songs togetherâsomething of the sort. It sounded cool, at least.
It would have to do⌠and even if youâor DJ Doveâthought it was stupid, no one would know it was him.
Before he could psych himself out of it, Sunwoo pushed the submit button and launched his phone away from him onto the bed like it was explosive. There was something thrilling about anonymous submissions, but incredibly anxiety-inducing, as well. He could only hope that you would be pleased to read it.
â âś
It was Wednesday when the next episode of the podcast dropped, and Sunwoo was swift to don his headphones on his way out the door of the apartment. The walk to campus was a good fifteen or so minutes, which would get him about a quarter of the way through the episode, but usually the line in the campus cafe was long, so he had plenty of time to listen.
âWelcome to Songbird Station! Iâm your host, DJ Dove, and today, I went to my Groupon singing lesson and realized that I think my teacher is having an affair with her neighborâŚ?â
Sunwoo let out a snortish laugh, covering his mouth with his hoodie sleeve in slight embarrassment as he passed by somebody else going in the opposite direction. Usually, there would be anonymous submissions sprinkled throughout the episode, most of them having to be diverted to later episodes because they were song recommendations. Sunwoo wasnât super optimistic about his chances of being featured in this episode, but a guy could dream, couldnât he?
The sky was a pleasant shade of crystalline blue, even as the seasons shifted from summer to fall. There was a slight breeze wafting through the air that brought in the telltale autumnal chill.
"...and luckily the rest was history. My voice was completely dead and my throat is still a little sore, haha, so we'll do a couple more anonymous submissions and recommendations today! This is supposedly a radio show-esque podcast, after all. This one's from a new friendâRhapsody Anon!"
Sunwoo nearly tripped over the flat sidewalk and sent a nervous smile to the other person waiting at the stoplight with him. Did you just say what he thought you said?
There came a soft laugh from you. "Ooh, like Bohemian Rhapsody by Queen? Such a classic, by the way. Rhapsody says: Hi Dove! Hoping you're doing alright and that songwriting is going well. I'm a relatively new listener but a fan from first listenâawh, wait⌠that's kind of like love at first sight but for the voice version, isn't it?"
He reddened. The crosswalk turned green.
"Anyways, that's really sweet; thanks so muchâthere's a bit more of the message that I'll post on my story later so we can save time, but Rhapsody, thank you for tuning in and interacting with me. Your message sounded so heartfelt to me? I dunno," you chuckled and he swore he could hear the smile in your voice, "maybe I'm a little biased 'cause I love your song rec, too. Speaking of which, Rhapsody recommends Painkiller by Ruel! An immaculate choice, if I do say so myselfâŚ"
Sunwoo couldn't help but smile to himself at your warm reception of his anonymous submission. He wished he could have gotten your full reaction to his entire message, but he understood that you needed to account for all the other things you had planned.
Even so, an acknowledgement from you would have been enough. He hadn't thought it was possible, but he thought he just became even more attached to this DJ Dove persona.
EPISODE TWO: I HATE VALENTINE'S DAY.
three months later.
THE curtains in Sunwoo's room were yanked open, the sound of metal rings against the metal bar scratched at his eardrums and made him grimace. It definitely did not help the pounding in his cranium, andâwait, was he in jeans? There was a disgusting after taste in his mouth, something akin to alcohol, and when he lifted his hand to rub his eyes, he felt dried tear tracks on his skin.
Eric stood at the foot of his bed with a scowl and his arms crossed over his chest. "I'm mad at you."
Sunwoo smooshed his face into his pillow in a sorry attempt to hide his eyes from the blinding overcast sky outside. "What's new?" He babbled incoherently.
It seemed his friend and roommate was not pleased with his answer and moved to tower over Sunwoo right beside him. "You couldn't have waited ten minutes before barging in? I was so close to kissing her!"
"Huh? What the hell are youâŚ" Sunwoo's voice trailed off as the events of last night were slowly coming back to him.
Yesterday was Valentine's Day. Ugh. He remembered making plans to go to some singles party with Changmin and Chanhee, and that Eric was bringing EC!Yn over to woo her or something⌠yeah, he got all that. So why did Sunwoo drink so much and why couldn't heâŚ
The notification⌠the tweetâŚ
Oh no.
The emotions from last night came rushing back to him like the tide to shore. Horror contorted his face as his brain raced to string pieces of last night together. He released a groan as he brought both hands up to his face. "Oh my god," he muttered into his palms.
The distinct feeling of devastation and disappointment sank into his gut. No wonder he had thrown all caution to the wind last night and gotten himself drunk off his face.
"How bad?" He asked.
Eric still had his arms crossed. "You cried on EC!Yn like a whale and asked why women were perfect and why you couldn't have this one girl." By the drone of Eric's voice, he hadn't been pleased or amused by last night's events. Whoops.
"I'mâ"
"You are going to be forever alone, by the way."
Sunwoo dropped his hands from his face and leveled a scowl up at Eric. Now, that he remembered saying, too. Unfortunately. "Hey! I'm still tender from last night."
Eric's smile was sarcastic and he said nothing as he made his exit from Sunwoo's room and left the hungover man to fend for himself. Left to his own devices, Sunwoo pushed out a harsh exhale as he stared up at the ceiling.
He remembered receiving the notification from the Songbird Station Twitter account and excusing himself to go to the bathroom to hear your voice memo. And when he'd finally found an empty bathroom and played it back, he learned a devastating piece of information.
Guys, I went on a date⌠updates in the next episode. That was what you had said, essentiallyâyou, Yn Ln, the girl Sunwoo had met in his literature course last quarter and whom he had figured out was the anonymous host of the podcast Songbird Station under the pseudonym DJ Dove.
And he had gotten drunk over the fact that you'd gone out on a date, and said date hadn't been him.
"Dude," he said out loud to himself.
He couldn't believe he had gotten so off his rocker by this news. It wasn't like he knew you or liked you orâwell, maybe he had grown an affection for you over the span of time he listened to your podcast and interacted with you via his own pseudonym, Rhapsody Anonymous.
But he was just another fan to you, and you would never know his identity.
A guy could dream though, right?
A thought suddenly occurred to him as he rolled over to go through the copious amounts of notifications on his phone he had. There were lots of messages in his group chat with Chanhee and Changmin that he would deal with later, lots of social media notifications, emails, andâŚ
Wednesday. Today was Wednesday.
Sunwoo cursed. You were definitely uploading the episode today then.
He bit his lip as he sorted through the notifications to find one about the podcast. Sure enough, there it was: I Went On A Date? was the title, and he pretended like that didn't make him want to play Lany's Valentine's Day on loopâ
The bedroom door opened and Eric poked his head into the room. "I made hangover soup."
Sunwoo blinked in surprise. "Oh. Thanks, man."
"Yeah, don't mention it," Eric mumbled, shifting on his feet. "Seriously, don't mention it."
â âś
For the next couple of days, Sunwoo left the notification at the top of his phone, pretending like it wasnât there. It had worked for about five minutes, but the remainder of time he was stubborn, he allowed his imagination to get the better of him. Although he no longer needed to take a literature course, he found himself deeply considering the vague title you had provided. Well, what could you mean by that question mark at the end? Had it not gone well? There was no way it could have, since your tone didnât really scream âOH MY GOD I WENT ON A DATE!!!â (not that Sunwoo had imagined what he would have acted like post-date with someone like you or anythingâŚ). He didnât even know who you had gone on a date with, and that made his stomach churn.
The curiosity devoured him alive over the two days he managed to torture himself with his overthinking. No one knew he listened to the Songbird Station podcast, and he planned to keep it that way. It would be the absolute death of him if any of his friends found out.
By Saturday morning, Sunwoo had had enough of his own stubbornness and caved. He donned his headphones, grabbed his bag, and headed out the door to do some work in a cafe located on the Ave. There was one that his friend Jacob had recommended to the group awhile back, and Sunwoo hadnât looked back since.
As he tuned into the episode, he shoved his hands into the pockets of his hoodie, shivering against the cold, winter winds. February weather was a doozy, and a hot cup of coffee or hot chocolate sounded so very sexy right this moment.
âWelcome to Songbird Station! Iâm your host, DJ Dove, and youâre probably wondering what the title of this episode even means, or why I sent that weird, cryptic voice message the other night.â
The traffic light turned green, and Sunwoo began to cross the road, the coffee shop in sight. His hands were beginning to get clammy in his pockets.
âDonât riot, but friends, it means exactly what it saysââ As you exhaled out a breathy kind of laugh, Sunwoo inhaled sharply.
âHelpful,â he muttered under his breath as he pushed into the warmth of the coffee shop. He shook the cold out of his body before hopping into the line to order.
â âI did actually land myself a date yesterday. Honestly, Iâm not really much of a dater; I never really had time with it over the past years because I would, uh⌠well, I would rather stay in and do music, yâknow?â
The corners of Sunwooâs lips curled up into a smile. Maybe he had been nervous before about this episodeâs topic of choice, but he should have had more faith in you. Rather than speak about the date the entire episode, you always managed to worm in a discussion about your passions, and that was the kind of talk that had first gotten Sunwoo hooked. There was something so attractive about hearing or witnessing a person gush about their passions and ambitionsâthe way their eyes lit up, their posture righted itself, how they smiled so big that one could hear it in their tone of voice.
He was happy that you went out on a date, because you deserved to meet someone who treated you as special as you were. You were a good person, and it wasnât fair that he was being so salty about it, especially when he was too chicken toâ
âSunwoo?â
His soul practically fell out of his body. âShitââ He swore, yanking his headphones down with eyes as wide as the earphones. He whirled around to greet you with a flushed face, red like the old Christmas decorations still hanging up from the crown moldings.
You were standing right behind him with a mildly amused look on your face, your lips pressed into a smile and eyes crinkled in absolute delight. You were similarly bundled up like he was to no doubt shield you from the cold on your way here. âSorry I scared you! I probably should have, like, tapped your shoulder or something, huh?â
Sunwoo let out a nervous laugh and cupped the back of his neck, the skin there warm to the touch. âOh, uh, no problem at all. I just kindaâŚâ
âGet scared easy?â You offered.
He huffed with a sheepish sort of smile. âNo, no thatâs not it. IâI just wasnât expecting you, thatâs all.â Inwardly, he winced. The fact that he was listening to your voice in his ears, and you just happened to say his name at the same time and appear in the same exact coffee shop as him. Werenât there fifteen of these places on the block? There was no way you just happened to choose this one at this moment.
You chuckled, playing along. âAh, I see, I see. We havenât seen each other since fall quarter though. How have you been?â
You and Sunwoo inched up with the line, so the two of you now stood side by side. Sunwoo was trying everything he could to calm the racing of his heart. Play it cool, dude. âIâve been okayâŚish,â he grimaced, re-thinking his answer. âYou know winter quarter is always the worst.â
âFor sure,â you replied. âItâs so cold and drearyânobody wants to leave their apartments, especially me,â you joked.
Sunwoo was about to chime in on how he could totally relate to that, when you popped the question: âAnd then thereâs Valentineâs Day. Crazy how it never seems to rain on Valentineâs Day, though, so people can go out. Did you do anything for it?â
Sirens commenced their screeching in his head. WEE-WOO-WEE-WOO! Donât let her know how much of a loser you were! He coughed, reaching up to scratch his head. âUh, nothing special in particular, if thatâs what you mean. A couple of my friends and I just went to this singles party.â Would that give you the wrong idea? Probably not, right? Why was he so bad at this, he thought, wasnât he supposed to be a communications major?
You inched up in line. âOh, thatâs cool. I think I went to one in freshman year at my old uni,â you said.
Before he could stop himself, he said, âI almost forgot you transferred this year.â He knew that one from the podcast when you talked about the struggles of being a transfer student and having to almost âredoâ your entire first year experience, social-wise. But you had also told him that when you and he had worked together in your shared class last quarter; it was just that the two of you didnât really talk much about your old university much after that.
âItâs okay,â you smiled, nudging his arm with yours as a gesture for him to order first. âNot many people remember.â
Sunwoo wanted to protest, maybe to reassure you that it wasnât that easy to forget something like that, but he was forced to switch gears and order his hot beverage first before he could say anything else to you. After he said goodbye to five more dollars, he stepped aside and made his way over to the pick-up counter to wait for you and his drink.
When you were done, you sidled up beside him, hands tucked into the folds of your coat.
Come on, say something, his inner voice chided. âSo, uh, how was your Valentineâs Day?â
He immediately regretted it. Out of everything he could have asked, he had to go with the one topic he really didnât want to hear about. However, it had been one of the logical progressions of the conversation, and who knew? Perhaps it wouldnât lead to him feeling like heâd been shot down with lightning? (Was he being a little dramatic? Yes. Did it matter? Not when no one was going to hear him, no.)
You let out a small laugh and tucked a strand of hair behind your ear. âIt was okay,â you replied.
It was⌠it was okay? What was he supposed to do with that answerâ
âI mean,â you continued with a smile that looked more like a grimace, âit wasâfine! It was fine. UhmâŚâ
Sunwooâs thoughts came to a slow, teetering stop. Worry began seeping into the cracks of his brain as new scenarios formed. âHey, if youâre uncomfortable talking about it, then we donât have to talk about it.â All of the nerves and envy from before was becoming something softer in concern for your response.
âNo! No, itâs okay. I promise,â you reassured him. The look you gave him was earnest, and he felt the fist tucked into his pocket gradually relax a bit. âItâs just weird putting it into words, yâknow? I kind of chickened out of talking to my friends about it, and even toââ You stopped yourself short, and he could see you backpedaling in your brain. âAnyways, it just felt weird? I think it would have been a really nice night if I actually saw him in that light. But at the same time, I kind of want to try and give it a chance. Does that make sense?â
He nodded, tension falling out of his shoulders. âIt does. I mean, sometimes thereâs just no spark, yâknow?â He added. âI was just worried he did something to make you uncomfortable or something.â
âOh, no, nothing like that. You donât have to worry.â
âOkay, thatâs good,â he murmured, licking his lips. âIâm just curiousââ he piped up, ââand you donât have to tell me, but who did you go out with?â
One of the baristas from behind the counter called your names, and the two of you both stepped forward. Sunwoo took a long stride to get there before you, and handed you your cup for you.
You murmured a âthanksâ to him first before stirring in a packet of sugar. âLiu Yangyang. Do you know him?â
Did he? Yangyang was one of the people Sunwoo recognized from not only around campus, but as a person who made music online, too. Even if Yangyang was in the same year as him, Sunwoo always admired the manâs flow and way with words. It made so much sense that Yangyang would pursue you, someone equally talented and charismatic, especially if the two of you were the same major.
A tightening sensation creeped into Sunwooâs chest as he marinated on the revelation further. If you couldnât see someone like Yangyang in a romantic light, then where did that put himself?
As Sunwoo let his intrusive thoughts get the best of him, you finished preparing your coffee.
âIâve gotta run now,â you told him with a soft-cornered grin. âIt was nice seeing you, Sunwoo.â
Sunwoo managed a smile back at you, head bobbing in some semblance of a nod, before you were exiting the shop. He stood there for a moment to gather his wits, his thoughts, and his dignity.
âDid that really just happen?â He muttered to himself. He took his coffee with him to find an empty table and retrieved his study materials from his bag. Technically, he didnât even have to listen to the rest of the podcast, but⌠who was he kidding?
EPISODE THREE: HEART TO HEART
âYOUâRE coming with me to the practice rooms, right?â Ji Changmin trailed behind Sunwoo as the two of them shouldered into Sunwoo and Eric's shared apartment with their bags and leftovers from today's lunch. It had been about a week and a half since he had bumped into you at that cafĂŠ and he had been feeling over the interaction since.
Sunwoo popped open the refrigerator while his friend perched on one of the breakfast bar stools, his duffle bag dumped at his feet. "Uh, yeah. 'Course, hyung," he said, shifting some groceries from JC!Yn around to make space for his white plastic container.
A thought occurred to him, and he groaned. "But you're gonna have to go firstâwithout me," he clarified. He grabbed the carton of orange juice out to pour himself a glass, facing his friend's curious look.
Changmin's brows furrowed. "Wait, why not?"
It was a reasonable question, as it went against Sunwoo's normal pattern of behavior. Usually, Sunwoo would tag along with Changmin to the practice rooms at the back of the performing arts building. Changmin was a dance major, and with the highly anticipated winter dance showcase just around the corner, it was important that he got that practice in. Plus, with Eric out of town for an away game, Sunwoo was left alone in the apartment, which wasn't exactly his favorite thing. He would much rather go out and be around other people⌠unless there was something else occupying him.
Today, that certain occupation came in the form of your first live podcast session, something you were trying out. It was just going to be a live audio stream, so you could stay anonymous with your pseudonym, and answer people's submissions live. You had been advertising it for the past week, having excluded the weekly podcast in order to prepare for today.
Sunwoo was excited as you were and wanted to support you and be one of the people tuning in live. This was important to him, and he had even gone so far as to plan out his day.
"I just have something I need to turn in before the day ends," he said easily, shoulders lifting in a half-hearted shrug. He lifted the glass of orange juice to his mouth for a languid gulp.
Changmin made a teasing noise of disappointment. "Aye, you know if Chanhee were here he'd be on your ass, right?" He chuckled, the dimple of his smile pressing into his cheek.
Sunwoo pouted when he lowered the glass. "If Chanhee or JC!Yn were here, I wouldn't have admitted to procrastination. I have self-preservation skills."
"And you don't think I'd be on your ass?" Changmin gasped dramatically with a hand pressed to his chest.
With tongue in cheek, Sunwoo grinned amusedly. He shook his head, adjusting the hood pulled over him. "Hyung, you can't ding me for procrastination when you procrastinate religiously. Remember that one time you had to beg Professor Kaâ"
"Yah! Nobody asked for specifics!"
Sunwoo's chuckle turned into nervous laughter as Changmin reached across the island with a claw-shaped hand. "Ah! No! You stay awayâgo practice!"
Changmin snickered. "Chicken."
Soon after, Changmin indeed took his leave to head over to the performing arts hall. Sunwoo drained the juice in his cup and refilled it before making a beeline for his bedroom.
The livestream was projected to last for an hour, about the length of a usual episode, but you did say the timing wasn't set in stone. Sunwoo set himself up at his desk, signing into the platform you always used. Over the past couple of months he was Rhapsody, he'd become one of your regulars, suggesting new and old songs from his music library, talking about his day or week or something the last podcast had reminded him of. He liked to think that the two of you were friendsâparasocially.
A guy could dream, right?
He was on his phone when the waiting room faded and became a split screen: one half with a sketched sign that read "ON AIR: COMING TO YOU LIVE!" with a little dove in headphones, and the other half was a live chat feed that people who were tuned in could use. There was both a public and private feature, and Sunwoo kept his on the public chat, unafraid of what a bunch of other people behind anonymous names and screens could do to scare him.
"Oh! Woah, I think that worked," came your voice, loud and clear, through his laptop speakers.
He smiled to himself, reaching over to settle his fingers on his keyboard. A tingling feeling bubbled up inside him, starting from his toes and rocketing up through his chest. He could actually talk to you in real time today.
You clapped lightly on the other side, relief pouring through your voice. "Thank god. I'm supposed to be good with some computer programs, but this livestream feature is kind of new. How're we doing, everyone? It seemsâŚ" A couple clicks from your end, "... We've got some more people rolling in. I'll give it a couple minutes, but let me know who we've got here today! It's so cool seeing you guys live!"
Sunwoo was swift to type out a greeting message: Dovey hi!! He paired it with a little, hand-waving emoji.
The small gasp of delight from you had him giggling to himself. "Oh my god, Rhapsody! Hi, best friend, welcome in! We might actually be able to hold a conversation for once," you chuckled.
rhapsody anonymous: yeah fs haha
rhapsody anonymous: did u have a good week? it felt weird without an ep from u đ¤§
"Oh! Yeah, haha, sorry about thatââ
He rushed to type as you continued with answering his question: No no! Donât worry, I donât blame you or anything lol itâs just something I look forward to every week.
â...Ah,â you said after skimming over his message. âUnderstoodâand aw, Iâm glad itâs something you look forward to every week. That makes me really happy to hear⌠oh! It looks like the numbers are becoming a little stagnant, so Iâm gonna get started. Hi, everyone! Welcome to the live edition of Songbird Station. Iâm your hostâŚâ
â âś
An hour later, Sunwoo ended up seated at the kitchen counter, drinking orange juice straight out of the nearly-depleted carton, while the livestream continued on. The whole experience had been one of a kind, and by the way you were able to seamlessly speak and engage with your audience for the entire time made Sunwoo feel warm and fuzzy. He was glad this was working out for you.
There was a gradual lull in conversation, however, and you were just wrapping up your last topic to bring your first livestream to an organic stop.
â...wanna thank you all for being here, of course. 57 people listening to my voice for over an hour is kind of crazy, but this was a lot of fun!...â
Sunwoo was just about to start typing up a message to you when his phone buzzed on the counter beside his laptop. He startled, fumbling with the device and grumbling under his breath until he saw who it was and picked up the call.
âHyung?â He squeezed the phone between his ear and shoulder, attempting to finish his private message to you. I was wondering if I couldâŚ|
Changminâs voice came out breathy and panting like he had just finished a run-through. âHey, are you done with your assignment yet?â
I was wondering if I could hang back forâŚ| âHuh?â Why couldnât he multitask, for godâs sake? I was wondering if I could hang back for a minute? If itâs weird though, then itâs no problemâŚ|
No, that wasnât weird, right? Totally not. He pressed the 'enter' key, satisfied with the message.
âWhat were you saying?â Sunwoo asked and picked up the phone with his hand. His eyes flickered back to his laptop screen to find that you had sent him a private message back.
Changmin let out a grumbling sigh. âI was just thinkingââ
âUh oh,â Sunwoo joked.
He could hear his friendâs eye roll from here. âWhen you get here Kim SunwooâŚâ
âOkay, okay, okay!â He chuckled as he read your message and silently punched the air in celebration. âWhat do you want? I was in the middle of something.â
âRude! And I was calling you because I was thinking about you,â Changmin huffed. âAnyway, I was just going over some of the movement for Juyeon and my âLight a Flameâ duet, right? And I came up with this combo that would be perfect for three peopleââ
Sunwoo sucked in a breath. âOh, nonono!â
âBut!â
âNo!â Sunwoo protested. âHyung, you know that I donât⌠yâknow, I canât dance up there with you and Juyeon hyung! Thatâs way too much pressure; youâre both so good at dance.â He pressed his finger against the edge of the counter and began mindlessly dragging it along the surface. There had originally been plans of Sunwoo joining Changmin and Juyeonâs dance partnership for this yearâs winter showcase performance, but Sunwoo backed out. The winter showcase was far too large of an event for Sunwoo could even fathom participating in, let alone dancing with two of the best dancers he knew. There was just no way.
Changmin sighed from the other end. Heâd heard this argument before and heâd argued against this argument plenty of times. âOkay, fine. See you in how long?â
Sunwoo placed his phone onto the counter again so he could tell you that he was still here and hadnât just left you hanging. âUh, give me like, thirty minutes.â
âAlright. I better see your ass here in thirty minutes, Sunwoo.â
âYeah, I know. See ya, hyung.â He hung up then, shoulders sagging slightly from the conversation. It wasnât like he had to participate in the winter showcaseâhe was no dance major, nor was he a dance minor. He technically hadnât even decided on a minor, and had only been focusing on getting this degree finished. Whether or not he had chosen a minor yet was not his parentsâ favorite discussion when they visited him, but⌠it would get done when he had the energy to. He didnât want to bring up the idea of a dance minorâhe saw what it did to Changmin and his parentsâ relationship andâwell, it was just better this way, for now.
Having finished with his phone call, Sunwoo returned his focus to you, where, god bless, you were still waiting for him in the livestream room.
rhapsody anonymous: omg iâm SO sorry!! >< a friend of mine just called and turns out i am awful at multitasking
âNo worries,â you laughed. âI figured that was the case. Everything okay, Rhaps?â
The corners of his mouth curled up at the thoughtful ask. Even when the two of you had been classmates, you were new to the school, but still made him feel like the two of you had known each other for longer than simply a few weeks. It only made sense that you were the host of this podcast, the very thing that had been his source of comfort as of late.
rhapsody anon: yeah nothing really serious lol
rhapsody anon: i just have this friend whoâs doing the winter showcase and i was supposed to go to the practice room with him
rhapsody anon: actually, i was going to dance and perform w him too but ig i kind of chickened out
He didnât know why he was telling you all of this; this wasnât even what he originally intended to talk to you about.
He heard you make a soft sound of understanding. You shifted in your seat. âI see⌠the winter showcase is a big event though, as Iâve heard from peers and friends. It's probably really intimidating to even perform in the pre-show, you know? Are you a dance student, by chance?â
rhapsody anon: iâm not, but iâve taken the intro to hiphop course my freshman year and i usually dance for fun w my friend
rhapsody anon: i think iâve just always been kind of insecure in my abilities to keep up w him?
âIs he a dance major?â
rhapsody anon: he is
Sunwoo leaned back from the laptop and took his hands off the keyboard. He settled his chin onto his folded arms as he listened to your reply.
âWell, I donât think you should compare yourself to a dance major, right, Rhaps? I mean, itâs not fair to expect more from yourself when heâs clearly had more experience. And if you enjoy dancing, then I donât see what the harm in trying to perform or even just being satisfied with private practice sessions is!â You paused for a second to gather your thoughts. âWhat Iâm saying is⌠is that, I can understand where you might feel insecure, and thatâs normal, yâknow? And if youâre feeling a little unprepared for this year, thereâs always future opportunities.â
Sunwoo peered up at his screen as if he could see you on the other side, speaking to him. He sat up to type out a response. Thanks for hearing me out, itâs nice to feel validated. Sorry this kind of took a downer tone haha it wasnât my intention, I swear!
You giggled and he swore he was smiling a little too wide now. âNo worries, really! Iâm glad I could be of help, even if itâs to make sure that you know your feelings are valid. If Iâm being honest, one of the few reasons why I even started this podcast thing was to kind of just put my experiences out there in search of validity.â You sighed, âI dunno. Itâs a story for another time. I am curious, though, as to why you originally wanted to hang out with me after the others left.â
Oh, right. Sunwoo bit his lip.
rhapsody anonymous: this isnât really a song rec, but ig it kind of is⌠i feel like superstar by taylor swift reminds me of u
He held his breath after he pressed the âenterâ key.
âOhâŚâ your voice was soft in surprise, and it made something like giddiness spike in his chest. âThatâs really sweet, Rhaps. I⌠Iâm not sure what to say, but thank you. Genuinely.â
rhapsody anonymous: u donât have to say anything!! really haha ur work and ur words have touched a lot of people
âEven you?â
rhapsody anonymous: esp me
And even after you and he had said goodbye to one another and logged off; even after he was well out of the apartment and on his way to campus, that giddy feeling in his chest still hadnât left him.
EPISODE FOUR: SHOT THROUGH THE HEART! [AND WEâRE ALL IN PAIN]
DEAD week was not typically something Sunwoo had to worry about, as fortunate as that sounded. There were, obviously, classes that made his stomach queasy and made him feel like the world was crumbling into Hot Cheeto dust, but his classes this quarter had been merciful to say the least. The week before finals week was always something that could be visibly observed on campus: students either manifesting like zombies or zooming around to claim seats in the library; grades rising and falling like the housing market; and snacks and coffee being more commonly consumed than any other moment of the quarter.
It was always a hot pile of shit, no matter the student or major.
âSomeone just needs to tell Ouyang to chill!â
âUh-huh.â
âFor sure.â
ââitâs not like weâre the root of all of his problems! Iâm just trying to graduate!â Eric halted in the middle of the hallway, causing Sunwoo, whose face was nose-deep in his phone screen, to ram into the baseball playerâs back.
âOw!â He hissed, furiously rubbing the place at his forehead that had collided with the nape of Ericâs neck.
âYouâre not paying attention,â said Eric, flatly. He turned to Jacob, who also wasnât paying attention. âHyung!â
Jacobâs head lifted from where he was busy smiling down at some orange cat video. âWhat? Nachoâs learning the periodic tableââ He flipped his phone around to show Eric, his face immediately lighting up as he forgot about why he was even mad in the first place.
The three of them were currently in the front half of the performing arts building, heading inwards from the main hall to the backstage area where a couple of their friends were already hanging out. Sunwoo had bumped into Jacob and Eric on his way from one of the campus libraries, and with nothing else better to do (than to study), he tagged along to go find someone to bother. (Jacob and Eric were both STEM majors though, which was weird to Sunwoo since⌠well, shouldnât they be bunkered up somewhere trying to survive this quarterâs dead week? AnywaysâŚ)
Sunwoo sighed and brushed past his two friends to venture deeper into the building. He could already hear somebodyâs music blasting from the sound booth as they rehearsed onstage. Over the past several weeks, everyone had been busy preparing for the winter showcase happening at the end of finals week, right before spring break. Ever since Sunwooâs talk with you over livestream, he had felt a little better about not joining Changmin and Juyeon on stage this year. Plus, from what he could tell when he watched them practice, they already looked pretty much perfect with just the two of them.
Though, there would always be a part of him that wished he really had the courage to go up there and show the audience what he was made of.
Sunwoo wandered into the main auditorium with his hands tucked into his pockets and the doors closing softly behind him. There was indeed a group practicing their number on the stage at the moment. He could even make out the shapes moving from behind the curtains in the wings as other tech members and dancers rushed to and fro to get to where they needed to. Somewhere in that mass of chaos were his friends.
A familiar voice had him lifting his head toward the sound booth. His eyes widened when he recognized you standing in the booth with Bang Chan, one of the more prominent sound and lighting directors working here at the performing arts center. However, it looked like you were leaving, your hands clumsily wrestling with the zipper on your bag while you continued your conversation with Chan, and while attempting to walk backwards out of the sound booth.
Oh my god, you were going to trip on something if he didnât helpâ
Both Sunwoo and Chan pounced toward you as the thought occurred to both of them at the same time.
âYn, careful!â Sunwoo yelled, as he dove for your phone.
Chan steadied you at the bicep, and you hugged your bag to your chest with a flustered grin. âOops?â
Chan ruffled your hair as he let you go, nodding his hello to Sunwoo, then ducking back into the booth. You stepped out into the main room and shut the door behind you. âThanks,â you said to him sheepishly, accepting your phone from him.
The two of you naturally fell into step with one another and Sunwoo let you lead him back out towards the main entrance again. âI didnât know you worked behind the scenes here,â he told you, cupping the back of his head. If he racked his brain, he couldnât recall hearing about it from your podcast either. âThis is the second time Iâve seen you here,â he chuckled.
You stopped for a minute in the middle of the hallway to get a hold of your things. You had to hike your knee up to properly zip your backpack before hauling it over your shoulder. âOh, thatâs right! Just a couple days ago you were here with your friends, right?â
He gave a bashful sort of grin. He had been here a couple days ago when he came to bother Changmin, and ended up hanging out backstage while Hyunjaeâs best friend hosted auditions for her play. It was then that he had seen you hustling about with the Lee Jihoon about lights. Heâd been caught so off-guard by seeing you; it was a miracle he managed to even get Changmin to forget about that whole interaction. âYeah, sorry I was kind of⌠weird. I didnât expect you, that's all.â
âLots of surprise run-ins with us, huh,â you teased, the side of your arm bumping with his as you walked.
Us.
âItâs nice to see you more often though.â
You nodded. âThe feelingâs mutual, Sunwoo. Thanks for warning me earlier; Iâm usually more careful with my stuff, especially when Iâve got special cargo.â As you said this, you reached back to pat your backpack affectionately.
Sunwoo lifted a brow, opening the door for you as the two of you stepped out into the lobby. âOh? What kind of special cargo?â
The smile on your face widened. âItâs, uhm, a recording mic, actually! Iâve been coming by to intern around the tech side of things here, and Chan and Jihoon give me some tips about music production, too.â You trailed off, an idea taking hold in your head, and that wide beam from just seconds ago became this shy, little thing. âHey⌠would you maybe be up to listening to something of mine? I mean, itâs kind of a weird request, but your music taste from first quarter was top notchââ
âYes,â Sunwoo said, without even waiting for you to finish your rambling.
You paused, and he rejoiced in the pure delight on your face. âReally? Thatâsâthis is great. Wait, Iâm so excited! Weâll need to find a private place to listen, butââ
âOh my gosh, Yn?â
Coming in from the front lobby doors was none other than Han Jisung, a fellow second-year whom Sunwoo was familiar with. He was bundled in a massive, puffy cream jacket with his head shoved into a beanie, and his nose was reddened from the cold. Jisung tucked the earbuds in his ears away into their case, waddling over to you both with the joy of a baby penguin. âAnd Sunwoo! Woah, itâs so cool to see you, man. Whatâs up?â
Sunwoo clasped his hand in his. âSâcool to see you, too, dude. Yn and I were just on our way out.â
Jisung moved over to you and pulled you in for an affectionate side hug. âOh, well, thatâs nice to hear,â he snickered, wagging his eyebrows at you while you sent him a pointed look.
Wonder what that was all aboutâŚ
âAnyways,â continued Jisung, âI just came by to bother Channie-hyung. Is he in the box?â
You bobbed your head in affirmation. âYup. There isnât anyone else with him right now, so Iâm sure thereâll be plenty of space for you to bug him.â
âNice,â he grinned. As he walked away in the direction from which you and Sunwoo came, he sent a wave. âSee you both around!â
âBye!â Both you and Sunwoo called back before resuming your walk out the front entrance.
âSo how do youââ The two of you laughed when you both started talking at the same time, saying the same thing. Sunwoo gestured toward you, insisting that you ask the question first. You did: âSo how do you know Jisung?â
Sunwoo snorted at the memory. âI, uh, saw him in the hall once and smacked his ass, then asked for his number.â
You had to stop to double over in laughter, clutching your stomach while Sunwoo looked on in flustered amusement. Your face had heated up considerably, and you barely managed to follow him down the steps toward the bus stop. âYou what?â You asked, once you could get out anything other than wheezes.
He chuckled, shrugging. âOkay, well, I actually know him from this music summer camp we both went to in high school. I didnât realize he came to this uni until I saw him last year and⌠well, made my presence known to him.â
You clapped your hands together and collapsed onto the bus bench. âI was gonna sayâthatâs one hell of a hello.â
âItâs a true story,â he insisted.
âOh, I believe you.â
The two of you shared a laugh for a moment and Sunwoo took a seat beside you, his knee bouncing up and down as you waited for the bus to come by. He nudged your shoulder with his. âSo what about you then? How do you know Han?â
âHm? Ah, I just know him âcause we share the same major-ish. Iâm sound and music production, and heâs just a general music major,â you explained. âWe also share a composition class, as well as a writing course. Did you know the guy is a fantastic poet?â
Sunwooâs eyebrows arched upward. âI would not be surprised; the guyâs an ace.â
âTotally agree.â You fidgeted with your phone between your hands. âHe was also one of my first friends here after I transferred. Heâs kind of shy, but heâs one of the good eggs you can meet.â
A nod. He glanced over at you, his eyes breathing in the far away look on your face. âYeah, he is. But hey, at least you got to befriend him then, hm? Maybe some things are just meant to be.â
You met his gaze and Sunwoo felt his heart stutter into a gallop. âYeah,â you murmured, âI think so, too.â
â âś
You and Sunwoo ended up in one of the booths of the restaurants on the Avenue. It was a cozy, little hole in the wall with soup that tasted like home and made your belly feel warm and content. You had set up shop at your table, your laptop with the audio file pulled up and your wired earbuds plugged in. You had to power all of your will into not showing Sunwoo how nervous you were for him to listen to thisâyour fingers shook slightly even as you passed him both of your earbuds.
In an attempt to pass off as cool, calm and totally collected, you brought your glass of water to your mouth to sip on. You'd thought to order food first, then let Sunwoo listen to the file.
"Let me know if you can't hear anything," you blurted out just before he put the buds in.
He paused, then smiled. "I got it," he assured you warmly.
Once the buds were fitted and the song started playing, you could only wait and watch to gauge his reaction.
At first, his eyes widened a smidge. Then he slowly began nodding to the beat, eyes falling closed as he soaked in the electric guitar chords mixed in that Jisung helped you out with. You watched him lean back in his seat⌠saw the smile bloom on his face, wide like a flower opening its petals to greet the brilliant sun.
And that beautiful smile⌠oh, he was so pretty when he smiled.
It was a couple minutes later that his eyelids finally fluttered open, and yet that smile on his face remained ingrained there. He passed you your earbuds as you awaited the verdict. "Girl, you've got pipes," he said with emphasis, his face screwed up in an expression one could only describe as appreciative. "Likeâoh my god, I want that bridge tattooed on my forehead," he groaned and leaned forward to bury his face in his palms.
Your heart could fly, soar, literally ascend to fucking space! You smiled, big and wide, as you wrapped up the wire chords around three fingers. "I'm glad you liked it."
"Liked it?" He perked up, then melted to the table as he mumbled into his hoodie sleeve, "I could kisâŚ" You didn't catch the end bit of his sentence as his voice dissipated into the fabric of his shirt.
"What'd you say?"
When he lifted his head, his cheekbones had flushed a shade of rose gold. He cupped the back of his neck with a nervous laugh, "Nothing! It was nothing. I justâI just love it, Yn. Really, I mean it. I'm not just saying that because we're friendsâ"
"Ah, so we're friends?" You jested, even as your heart skipped like a pebble across the surface of a lake.
Sunwoo blinked, lips pursed. "We're not friends?"
"No, I'm only kidding!" You said and leaned your cheek against your fist. "Your reaction was cute though."
You swore something shuddered across his face, but you didn't have much time to analyze it when you felt a presence make himself clear at the head of the table.
Yangyang appeared in a warm-looking jacket and scarf, his eyes flickering curiously between you and Sunwoo. You suddenly felt an anxious spike in your chest at the thought of what this might have looked like to him. That was, until he saw the laptop, of course. You saw the relief in his shoulders, the ease in which he smiled now. "Hey Yn-ie, didn't know you'd be here."
Out of the corner of your eye, you saw Sunwoo scratch his jawline, then scoot forward and offer his hand to Yangyang. "Hey, I'm Sunwoo. You're Yangyang, aren't you?"
Yangyang clasped Sunwoo's hand good naturedly with a typical gummy smile. "Yeah, that's me. It's nice to meet you."
"I was just showing him the project," you said next, drawing both of the boys' attention to you.
"Ah," your friend nodded. "How'd you like it, Sunwoo?"
Sunwoo lit up. "It wasâincredible. I don't even know how to describe it, y'know? If it was on my Spotify, it'd probably be on my Wrapped."
There went your heart, goodness. You and Sunwoo locked eyes across the table, and you wished you could convey how much his words meant to you by just a look.
"Totally agree," Yangyang nodded. "My Yn-ie's got a gift and she knows how to use it." He gave your head a gentle pat, and heat rose to your cheeks from the bombardment of attention. It hit you subtly, an epiphanyâ
Yangyang cleared his throat then and returned his hand to his side. "Anyways, I'll leave you two to it. I'll talk to you later?" He asked you as he was already taking a step backward.
âthe heat wasn't for him. It simply wasn't.
"Yeah! I'll shoot you a text later," you promised. You realized then that you had barely even spoken to Yangyang since your Valentine's Day date ended several weeks ago. There had just been a lot of mixed feelings churning around in your head that needed time to be sorted out. (And it was currently being resolved.) With a slight inward grimace, you turned your focus back to the guy you'd brought here in the first place.
Sunwoo slid your laptop over to your side of the table. "Soooo⌠you and Yangyang, huh?" He laughed, and you weren't certain, but it sounded a bit unsteady.
You played with the hem of your sweater sleeve. "I mean, kind of? Not really? We went on that date a while back, if you remember, but that's about it."
He leaned in. "Yeah, I remember."
"Yeah, and we also haven't had time to really properly talk since?" You winced. "I guess it's not really as bad as I make it sound. It's just that, we've pretty much known each other since primary school. He had just moved from Taiwan, and we were pretty good friends. And he would move back and forth between here and this one town in Germany, but we would alwaysâ" you made a vague gesture, "âfind each other? Is that the word?"
You let out a breathy sort of laugh. "I'm sorry, I dunno why I'm telling you my history with this guy. It's stupid."
Sunwoo frowned and shook his head. "It's not stupid, Yn."
You inhaled, then chewed on your cheek. "It's just that I always feel like people don't really stick around, at least for me. But Yangyang⌠he's been one of the few constants in my life, and I'm really grateful for that."
"I'm sensing there's a 'but' with this."
You indulged him. "But I'm starting to think that maybe I can't really see him as that kind of constant, if that makes sense." Your brows furrowed in thought. The boat you were on rocked roughly with the waves, the water turbulent and unsteady, as if at any moment it could throw you off. But you were used to the rocking, and you weren't sure why you should be so used to it. Settling for Yangyang even though you were beginning to realize that he probably wasn't The One? That was like staying docked in a home port you'd grown used to when you yearned for the horizon.
You heard Sunwoo crack his knuckles, and perhaps there really was a certain sheen to his eyes then. "I don't want to put words in your mouth," he drawled carefully, "and I can't imagine how exactly you feel and I don't know your whole story. But it has to be hard when it feels like, I don't know, like people are moving on without you." The earnestness in his eyes made his dark brown eyes deeper and richer. "And maybe it's comfortable with Yangyang and you want to try with him because you know that you two will always somehow find each other again."
"You kind of put what I was thinking into coherent sentences there," you mused, the corners of your lips curling upward.
Sunwoo reflected your expression. "That's good to hear, because I was pretty sure I sounded arrogant."
You laughed then, shaking your head. "No, I appreciated that. And you got it right." Breathing a sigh, you saw a waiter coming by to drop off the food the two of you had ordered. "I think it's just taken me some time with myself and withâwith other people to make me realize it."
He glanced up with thanks as the waiter passed you your meals, and you swore you saw his hand make a move to reach for yours across the table. But he stopped short, and instead, helped move your hot bowl of soup over to you. "You never know," he said sheepishly, "The One could be right under your nose."
â âś
eric đ¤¨: dude where did u go??? cobie hyung and i looked up and u disappeared into thin air
eric đ¤¨: omg jisung said u went somewhere w a GIRL??? IS THIS THE GIRL U WERE GETTING ALL DRUNK AND SAD ABT đ
sunwooâs phone: YAH!!! OH MY GOD STFU
eric đ¤¨: no.
EPISODE FIVE: LOTS OF THINGS BLOOM IN SPRING
âSO her name is DJ Dove?â
Sunwoo made a face around his toothbrush as he spat the frothy white into the sink bowl. âFor the millionth time, yes.â Through the mirror, Sunwoo watched Ericâs face as his roommate perched himself atop the kitchen counter and went quiet, his face pensive. After coming home to Ericâs confrontation, Sunwoo promised to explain it all in the morning to him.
It was unfortunately the morning, meaning Sunwoo had spent the past hour bringing Eric up to speed on his nonexistent love life. Fortunately, it was also a Wednesday morning, which meant you had just posted your newest episode of the podcast, and Sunwoo could force Eric to listen to it with him. A part of him was tense at the thought of no longer âgatekeepingâ his little secret that he had kept for the past several months, but this was Eric, one of his best friends. Maybe this would lift a weight off of Sunwooâs chest by finally telling someone.
â...Iâm still in the thrall of dead week,â your voice blasted from the speaker of Sunwooâs phone at high volume, âand itâs come to my attention that next quarter will probably be a lot for me. I guess this is me forewarning you all that I might be late with some episodes because Iâve got this new internship thing.â
Sunwoo dunked his face into the sink bowl as he splashed water over his lathered foam cleanser. âSheâs talking about her internship at the performing arts center.â
âHow do youânever mind, forget I asked.â
Sunwoo patted his face dry, then opened the medicine cabinet for all of the skincare products he used to start off the day.
â...Itâs been awhile since Iâve recommended something myself, so today, do enjoy âgone too longâ by lullaboy with me.â The song began a few seconds after you queued it up, and the apartment was then filled with muted vocals and strings.
Sunwoo straightened. He and Eric went quiet for a while as they both let the song sink in. Sunwoo continued to slather sunscreen on his face and neck, and Eric had started up the stove to make a batch of ramen for the both of them.
A peculiar sensation draped itself over Sunwooâs shoulders, a blanket of something that wasnât quite calm and wasnât quite jittery. He didnât know how to pinpoint or label the weird tightness in his chest. The song was strangely intimate, as almost all the music Sunwoo listened to was, but when it came from another person, it was always a whole new level of intimate. Whenever someone recommended a song, it was a way to view a piece of themâperhaps not a large piece, but a piece nonetheless. If eyes were the windows to the soul, then music was the viewfinder.
Maybe he missed you. But that didnât make senseâit⌠it couldnât make sense. He saw you yesterday, and he was listening to you now. How could he miss you?
âShe has good taste,â Eric murmured as the song faded out.
Sunwoo nodded his head in agreement. âYeah. She does.â
â...Hopefully when you miss me youâll play that song,â he heard you say in a lighthearted tone, even though he felt almost like the complete opposite. âOn that note, Rhaps sent in a message asking about the dance showcase coming up! âAre you planning on going, and if so, any acts youâre looking forward to? Isnât it crazy that we could be sitting next to each other and never even know?â ââ
Eric perked up, his head peering over his shoulder to look at Sunwoo as he came out of the bathroom to join Eric in the kitchen. âThatâs you? Rhaps?â
âRhapsody Anonymous,â Sunwoo corrected. âAnd donât judge me!â He added with a pointed look, finger jabbing in Ericâs direction.
Eric shook his head with a giddy sort of grin. âI didnât say anything.â
For a moment, the two boys went quiet with only your voice and the sounds of the stove keeping them company.
A thought occurred to Eric though, and he worried his bottom lip between his teeth. âDoes it ever feel like lying?â He asked and gestured for Sunwoo to grab a couple of bowls from the cabinet.
Sunwoo walked over with the soup bowls, then leaned his hip against the counter next to Eric. âDoes what feel like lying?â
âHiding that you know itâs her.â
Well⌠Sunwoo idly scratched his jaw. âI guess I never thought about it like that,â he said. All this time, heâd figured it was probably better that he didnât bring it up to you. After all, you used a pseudonym for a reason and didnât show your face. Maybe this was just supposed to be your secret passion project that you used as a safe space. He didnât want to burst your bubble by confronting you with that information. How would he even go about doing it? Oh hey, by the way, Iâve known that youâre this podcast host DJ Dove for a very long time? That probably had âawkwardâ written all over it.
Eric passed him a pointed glance. âSomething to think about then.â
â âś
Finals week had come and gone, a hurricane of destruction in its own right. But when the storm passed, it gave way to the beautiful cherry blossoms blooming in the quad. As per university tradition, the quad was filled to the brim with students, staff, and tourists alike gathering to pose in the falling pink petals that marked the coming of Spring Break. This was no different for Sunwooâs friend group who was dragged out to the event by none other than Choi Chanhee. In an effort to appease his friend in some aspect, Sunwoo had come dressed in something decently presentable: black cargo pants, blue denim jacket, and his face fitted in a pair of dark frames (that were definitely not just frames or missing the lensesâŚ).
He shoved his hands into his pockets after taking a peak at the time on his watch. The group had been here for about ten minutes thus far, and half of them had already split off with their significant others to take their own rounds about the quad. They weren't the only onesâin fact, there were probably as many couples as there were people taking grad photos and cosplay photos.
And wait, someone had come in their wedding dressânothing spelled out Sunwoo's singleness more potently than a couple getting married.
He took a panoramic glance and accidentally watched another couple go in for a kiss. He looked away with a slight frown, blowing a curl out of his eyes. "I hate this more than Valentine's Day," he grumbled.
From beside him, Kevin Moon sighed as he tested a shot with his camera and had to adjust the settings for the right exposure. "You're telling me." When he raised his camera up again, he immediately had to bring it back down with a deadpan expression, "At least on Valentine's Day, people won't photobomb you."
As the group's self-proclaimed Dad, Lee Sangyeon, summoned the attention of the boys who were present for a partial group photo. Sunwoo smiled for it, then returned to his frown. Chanhee had his camera held up as he attempted to take a selfie shot since he had been staking out this one tree trunk that a group of people had just left. Sunwoo had to admire the way Chanhee wordlessly swooped in like a vulture over a dead carcass.
"Aye, Kim Sunwoo," Chanhee exclaimed and beckoned Sunwoo over with a curl of his two fingers. Chanhee's head scanned the immediate area and his nose wrinkled when he realized he was missing someone. "Where did Changmin go? He was literally right⌠ah."
Chanhee's voice trailed off and a sly, little grin when he located the man in question. "Look."
Sunwoo followed Chanhee's gaze across the field to where he was sneaking up behind a familiar person. Sunwoo had met this girl twice, once when he and Changmin had gone looking for Jacob and the other when he went with Changmin to go see her for moral support. Both times, strangely, had been at the lab. Huh, did she even go home�
But then Sunwoo observed the way Changmin and CM!Yn looked at each other. Though Sunwoo had seen Changmin's eyes light up before, this was a different sort of twinkle, something softer. There had always been a cloud hanging over Changmin when it came to this girl, always some kind of bittersweetness that held him back. It made a smile crawl onto his lips at the sight of Changmin so happy.
"Wah," Chanhee murmured in awe. "They really mended their relationship well, don't you think?"
Sunwoo pursed his lips with an indulgent nod. "Yeah, I'd think so."
His friend sighed. "Oh, well. Looks like it's just us two then."
Sunwoo stepped forward and took Chanhee's phone from him, swiftly changing it to the forward facing camera. Chanhee struck a few poses beneath the blush pink trees as he soaked in the golden hour sunlight streaking across the lawn. Eventually, Sunwoo turned the camera back around to take shots of both himself and Chanhee.
He adjusted the phone so that the selfie mode could capture both of them when he spotted Chanhee scuttling back over toward him with a pile of pink petals collected in his palms.
Sunwoo's eyes went wide and he leapt backward away from his grinning friend. "Hyung, come on, let's talk about this."
Chanhee cackled and inched forward still. His hair was the exact same color as the flowers cupped in his palms. "Sunwoo-ah," he sang, "I think your hair needs a bit of color."
"I just did my hair this morning!" He whined and pleaded desperately. The last thing he needed was to be plucking stray petals from his curls later tonight. When Chanhee still wouldn't quit, adrenaline began to pump through Sunwoo's veins in anticipation for what he needed to do next. "Chanhee hyung! We can be civil about this."
"Civility is overrated!"
Just as Chanhee pounced, Sunwoo swerved on the ball of his foot and made a mad dash toward the other side of the quad. Chanhee's giggles filled the late afternoon air like the twinkling of bells, and though it was probably an amusing sight for onlookers, Sunwoo was running for his life.
Sunwoo pumped his legs furiously as he weaved in between people standing and taking their pictures, screaming out apologies for photobombing them as he went. And when he nearly tripped over someone's dog, he managed to lock eyes with yours.
You. Oh my god, you were here.
He had little time to fully comprehend what he was about to do, but he made a beeline for you.
"Sunwoo, heyâoh!"
Sunwoo grabbed your shoulders and careened himself behind you, his face partially hidden behind yours. "I'm sorry, butâ" he screeched, "âhe's threatening to ruin my hair!"
Chanhee laughed as he stopped in front of you and Sunwoo. His pale cheeks were dusted with the color of the flowers in the air. "Ah, well, hello. This isn't very gentlemanly of you, Sunwoo. Who's this?" He threw Sunwoo a look over your shoulder.
Fuck. He hadn't thought this one through.
Sunwoo laughed sheepishly and let go of your shoulders to clasp the back of his neck. It was only then he realized you were wearing a delicate, pastel sundress with cherry blossoms littered in your own hair. A gentle breeze wafted by and through your skirt and brushed back a few strands of your hair too.
PrettyâŚ
"This is," he stammered, snapping out of his daze, "Yn. Yn-ie, this is one of my close friends, Chanhee."
"It's nice to meet you," Chanhee said with a warm smile and slight bow of his head.
You gave a little wave. "Nice to meet you, too, despite the circumstances."
"I would wave back," Chanhee gestured with his hand of flowers, "but this is a nice pile, don't you think?"
To your credit, you played along. You laughed, "I totally agree. It definitely should not be wasted on giving me a wave. Though, I'm sure there will be plenty of opportunities to get back at Sunwoo." You turned your head and cocked a brow at him, to which he smiled back boyishly.
Chanhee considered you again for a moment. "I like your style. I guess I'll just⌠leave you to it then," he drawled and sent Sunwoo very pointed glances with his eyes toward you. Something about the way Chanhee's eyes narrowed minutely made Sunwoo want to hide behind you again.
Chanhee whistled a merry tune as he went on his way, leaving you and Sunwoo to your own devices as he probably went to go find his next victim.
"I'm so sorry about that," Sunwoo lamented as soon as Chanhee was out of ear shot. "I did not mean to make you a human shield."
You chuckled. "It's okay, dude, really. Definitely didn't think I'd find anyone I knew in this mess, so it's nice seeing you out here."
Sunwoo gave you yet another once over and felt heat crawl up the column of his neck. "Iâyou look really pretty," he said, gesturing to your outfit.
"Oh, thank you," you chirped. "You clean up quite well yourself."
The two of you shared a smile then and for a second, Sunwoo's mouth went dry and no words leapt from his tongue. They all remained lodged in his throat where his heartbeat went pitter-patter.
He cleared his throat, breaking eye contact with you for a moment.
You made a vague nod toward one of the open benches lining the perimeter of the quad, an invitation. "Wanna come sit with me?"
"Do I?" Yes. The answer was yes.
When you and Sunwoo were seated side by side, centimeters separating your arms and legs from touching the other, his heart still had not settled. The adrenaline, in fact, also had her to dissipate. With wide eyes, he soaked everything in.
"Did you go to the winter showcase on Friday night?" He blurted, turning to you.
You met his gaze. "I did. It was such a cool experience, especially since it was my first time. Did you?"
He nodded, locking his lips. "I did, yeah," he murmured. "I had a couple friends performing, so we all went to cheer them on. It's always a really great time though; I'm glad you got to go."
"Oh, that's nice. I always find dancers so impressive," you said with a wistful gleam in your eyes. "Do you dance?"
He found himself fidgeting with Chanhee's phone that he still held onto in his lap. "A little," he admitted bashfully. "I took an intro to hip-hop class last year, and I sometimes dance with my friends. Justânot in public," he said.
For a second, something flickered across your face. But he must have been dreaming because it was gone as quickly as it came.
"So music and dance? You're a multi-talented threat, Sunwoo."
"Aw, not really," he giggled. He wanted to hide his burning face in the collar of his jacket, but there was something about you that also made him unafraid to show you this side of him. Actually, you made this side of him come out. He wasn't usually so terribly shy, always tumbling over his words and doing diction cartwheels⌠communications major, his ass. "What about you? You're literally a musical genius. You should be on my Spotify Wrapped, Yn."
This time, he could relish in making you flustered. "Aye, you can't say that and expect me not to wannaâŚ" You lost your own words, biting your tongue.
He didn't know what got into him, but he leaned forward closer to you. "Expect you not to what?" He asked lowly, teasingly.
Your breath hitched in your throat, and he swore his own rapidly-beating organ was going to come flying out of his chest.
"Expect me not toâsteal your glasses!" With a high-pitched squeal, you snatched the lensless frames from right off his nose.
Sunwoo gasped in scandal, diving to grab them back, but you had already stood up from the bench. "Yah! Those were expensive frames!"
Your face lit up as you donned them. "You'll have to take it off my face then!"
"Bet!" And he lurched after you as you took off into the setting sun.
Your voices echoed across the quad: "Jisuuuuuung! Jisung, save me!"
"Jisung can't save you when he's scared of me!"
EPISODE SIX: AND THE MUSES ARE OFF!
"IT'S not a date!"
"It's a date!"
"It's not a date!" Sunwoo stopped abruptly in the middle of his living room where he had been wearing a hole in the wood floors from pacing. He whirled on his sock-clad heels to face his sofa of judges, Changmin and Chanhee. Eric was out with his girlfriend watching the newest action movie that had come out over Spring Break. "She would say if it was a date, right?"
Chanhee smacked his palm against his forehead with a puff of air. Changmin, however, leaned back on the couch with a ponderous look on his face and rubbed his chin with his thumb and forefinger. "She probably would. She seems like she has more balls than you."
"Hey!"
Changmin grinned. "Just saying." He then leaned down to pick up his duffle bag sitting at his feet. "I've gotta run now, but let me know how it goes."
Sunwoo leveled a scowl at him as he passed by to go to the door. "I hope CM!Yn trips you in the practice room."
"Into her arms!" He hollered back, which was swiftly followed by the front door slamming shut.
While Changmin was headed out to meet CM!Yn at the practice room for her first time returning to dance after three years, Sunwoo and Chanhee were left to prepare Sunwoo for today's agenda. Yesterday, you and he had traded numbers, to which you had immediately asked if he'd wanted to hang out with you some more over Spring Break. The answer had been as easy as counting to three.
Now the only problem was to not freak out over it.
"You're picking up lunch, aren't you?" Chanhee asked as he shoved Sunwoo into the bathroom.
Sunwoo nodded shallowly and picked up his round brush and blow-dryer. "Mhm. I'm meeting her at the performing arts building, and we're gonna take the metro up to Lake Anchor. Ever been up there?"
Chanhee fixed the collar of Sunwoo's white button-up, then snatched the brush and blowdryer out of his hands to do it for him. "Nope. Heard it's nice up there though."
"Yeah," Sunwoo muttered, nearly dropping the serum bottle in his hands. "She said her friend Sieun recommended it."
"Ah."
It wouldn't have felt like a date as much if Sunwoo hadn't searched up Lake Anchor when you'd texted him about it last night. The place was gorgeous, a certified calendar-worthy landscape with purple mountain majesties in the back and shores lined with emerald green hills and willow trees. It didn't help that the Reddit pages all deemed it a "couple's picnic spot you can't miss." Oh, he wasn't going to miss it, all right.
Thirty minutes later, he found himself outside the doors to the performing arts center where you said you were currently taking a tech lesson from Bang Chan. He had a paper bag of snacks and sandwiches from the local convenience store in one hand and the other tucked away into his pocket.
He wondered if he could go in and see you, but he'd already texted you he was waiting outside, and you'd replied you were on your way out.
Just as he was about to go sit on one of the benches, one of the doors at the entrance opened. You emerged out into the late spring morning with the breeze in your hair, a tote bag slung over one shoulder, and a ukulele case hanging from the other. You smiled wide at him and waved.
Sunwoo's lips parted into a grin. "Hi. I got us snacks," he said and lifted the brown bag in his hand.
"Sunwoo, you didn't have to," you pursed your lips fondly, adjusting your bag straps.
"I wanted to." The two of you fell into step in the direction of the closest metro station. It would be a short walk from here into the university Avenue, and down a block to the station. Everything was conveniently placed in the name of accessibility. "Plus, I didn't really eat breakfast," he admitted.
"Me neither." You cupped half your face with your palm. "Aish. I always forget I have, like, yogurt in the fridge, y'know?"
Sunwoo chuckled. "Yeah, I get that. My roommate and I always forget that we have groceries in the fridge because we always see the ramen packets on the counter instead. How was the lesson with Chan?"
The two of you stopped at the intersection to wait for the light. You hugged your ukulele to your chest. "It was good! He's always really helpful and knowledgeableâand patient," you mused. "I hope you don't mind me bringing my uke along though. I thought it would be a nice form of entertainment once we got up to the lake."
"I'm not entertaining enough for you," he gasped melodramatically, jutting his bottom lip out in a pout.
You laughed, and the sound made him break his pout and smile. "I thought I would be the entertaining one for once. D'you know how to play?"
The crosswalk sign turned on for you, and you both made your way across.
"I know some guitar," Sunwoo answered, "but just the basics. They teach you a bit at summer music camp." As he walked by your side, he felt his hand brush against the back of yours. "My hyungâJacobâhe plays guitar pretty well. He's good at singing, too, like you."
He caught your smile from the corner of his eye.
"He did it to woo his girlfriend," he jested, sticking his tongue in his cheek when he remembered how JC!Yn brought him and Haknyeon up to speed last quarter about her love life antics.
You chuckled. "That's a shame you know the trick," you said with an impish twinkle in your eyes, "because that was exactly my plan."
Sunwoo came to a screeching halt in the middle of the walkway, and when you realized he was still staring wide-eyed at the sidewalk, you let out a laugh and went back to drag him along to the station.
â âś
The view was something out of a magazine, the kind that took one's breath away. You and Sunwoo had claimed the shade beneath a willow tree and settled down across from each other with the brown paper bag flattened out to display the feast he had purchased. There were other small groups of people around, as well, all of whom seemed to have the same ideas as you two as they soaked up sun, read books and napped in the shade, and picnicked along the grassy shoreline. There was even a small booth a mile down the bank that rented out swan-shaped paddle boats and canoes for people to take out onto the water.
You and Sunwoo had pretty much demolished all of the goodies he brought with him. The conversation had been flowing, simple and organic, and you felt at peaceâthat was the best way to describe it. Maybe it was the location, the circumstance, the company, or all three.
You picked up your ukulele from where it laid in its case by your side. "Any suggestions?" You queried, taking the instrument out and checking that it was in tune.
Sunwoo brushed his hands of crumbs and braced his palms on the grass behind him. It was the visual of him in that white shirt, his sleeves rolled up and collarbone exposed, jawline clean and sharp as he gazed out at the view that made your heart race again. "Hmm," he hummed, "what did you first learn on it?"
"I think I taught myself Lemonade by Jeremy Passion," you said to him and scoured your brain for the right chords. You strummed a G-flat minor, and when it sounded about right, you shifted to B, until you managed to jog your memory of all four chords.
He watched you with softened eyes, his knees pulled up to his chest now as he leaned his cheek onto the tops of his knees. "That's a good song," he murmured.
"Do you know the lyrics?"
He chuckled, shaking his head and flicking his wrist. "Oh, no, no. I don't sing."
"Doesn't sound like you can't," you quipped back with a teasing tilt in your smile. You swayed a little as you played the tune over and over again. "A little shy, are we?"
You could see the smile peeking from his lips even when he tried to hide it in his arms. "I don't sing a lot."
"If I sang the first verse, would you join me in the chorus?" You offered as a compromise. You wouldn't push after this if he still refused, but there was a part of you that felt like you needed to hear this beautiful man sing for you.
He balked for a second, toeing at the dirt. Then, "Okay. I'll join in at the chorus."
A smile bloomed on your face. "Excellent."
You were a little shaky going in yourself. Though you had definitely practiced this song more times than you could count, performing it for someone else was always like playing it for the first time. And you wanted Sunwoo to enjoy it, and to be impressed by you. You wanted to do well for him and to be able to encourage him.
As he said he would, you heard him join in at the chorusâsoftly, at first, until he was the main vocal and you could bolster him with the harmony.
His eyes met yours, all smiles, as the song continued on. The ending verse⌠dear god, you could fall over from pure giddiness at the way he nailed the runs and you could do a little showing off with your strumming. Shivers, just plain shivers.
"She's exactly what⌠I need," he crooned, fingers playing absentmindedly with a strand of grass.
You let the vibrations of the strings linger in the spring air for a moment. It was like the two of you were encased in this bubble all by yourselves; and it was beautiful. It was perfect.
"I knew you could sing," you said to him. "I just had a feeling."
He hung his head, but the smile on his face could not be suppressed. "Thanks."
"For what?"
"For encouraging me," he shook his head. "Believing in me."
You pursed your lips together thoughtfully and you wished you could pick his brain without risking total invasion. "Do people not believe in you often?" You asked quietly, shifting to move yourself around the pile of rolled-up trash and to sit next to him.
He followed your lead, scooting himself next to you until you were no longer opposite, but adjacent. "Not people, just me, I think."
"Ah." You could empathize.
He gave a shallow nod. "Do you ever get scared of making a mistake so you don'tâI dunnoâgo for it? And then you end up thinking that maybe not taking that risk was the mistake?"
You set your ukulele down in the case beside you and mirrored his position, arms looped around your legs. "I do. All the time actually, and it's a scary feeling."
"Yeah," he exhaled. "Sometimes I wish I had just gone into music, full-on. I mean, a communication major is useful and all, but there are times when I wonder where I would have been if I had nurtured that passion."
His words resonated within you. There was a reason why you transferred to this university and decided to leave your original plan behind. You had gone into college with an intent to major in Computer Science, but less than a year in, it had become abundantly clear to you how unhappy you were. Leaving wasn't just a choice, it had been a need.
You turned to look at Sunwoo and you felt your chest tug toward him. You bumped his leg with your knee. "You still have time," you said. "It's not too late to still see where that goes."
But you knew the conflict that warred in his head; you knew it all too well because you had experienced it firsthand. It was much more complicated than simply chasing after one's dreams. There was obligations, expectations, fears, and physical obstacles that made the situation more complex than it seemed at first glance. You didn't know his family situation, didn't know the whole story of why he hadn't taken his summer music camp experiences and translated it into his current college career.
You didn't know it all⌠but you wanted to. You wanted to know everything about him.
"You said you don't have a minor figured out yet, right?" You asked suddenly, an idea coming to you.
He hummed. "Yeah."
"Well, why don't you choose music as your minor?" When he didn't answer right away, you added, "You obviously don't have to decide right this secondâit's just something to think about."
(It seemed he had a lot he needed to think about lately.)
Sunwoo rose up and leaned back onto his palms again. When he turned to look at you, a sense of calm had come over him this time. "I really appreciate you."
You broke into a smile. "I appreciate you, too."
"No, really," he laughed, then bit his lip. "I'm sorry for screwing the moodâ"
"You're not! Really," you insisted. "I don't mind. I like having meaningful conversations with people who mean a lot to me."
He didn't even have to say anything, because there was this look, one you simply could not ignore. It made your stomach feel like it was swarmed with butterflies and that you were walking on air. It was like watching him smile while listening to the song you wrote, like walking out of the performing arts center to see him waiting for you. He didn't have to say anything because you knewâyou had to. There simply could not be any other explanation, right?
EPISODE SEVEN: WHAT IF SOULS FEEL FAMILIAR FOR A REASON?
YOU had been keeping a secret.
"So what you're saying is that you know that he knows, but he doesn't know that you know that he knows?"
You nodded, arms crossed. "Yeah, pretty much."
Jisung made a face and rested his temple against his palm. "My brain hurts."
From where she was perched on a stool, Park Sieun reached over and patted Jisung's nest of hair. "It is a little confusing. Why don't you just confront him about it?"
"I don't know," you huffed and fell back against the wall. The three of you were holed up in one of the private studios on campus. There weren't many buildings opened since it was still Spring Break, but many of the performing arts facilities were. Jisung had offered for you and Sieun to meet him in the room he had snagged and had been currently occupying in order to bust out as much creative energy as possible. (Newsflash, it was not going well, hence, yours and Sieun's invitations.) Studio rooms were pretty much soundproof, so they were good for those in the music programs who wanted a private space to practice or record things.
You had just brought them up to speed on your latest outing with a certain Kim Sunwoo up to Lake Anchor, as Sieun had so graciously suggested to you the other day. After your outing, however, you'd come to one very solid conclusion.
Well, and there was the matter of The Anonymous Situation.
Just this morning, you had opened your inbox to find another submission from one of your regular anonymous listeners whom you affectionately nicknamed Rhaps. Rhapsody Anonymous had begun to pop up in your inbox just last quarter, and it wasn't until recently that you figured out who it was. At first, it seemed completely implausible for Sunwoo to be the face behind the name, because there was no way out of a whole internet of people that he had managed to stumble across your podcast.
To make matters more complex, you had an inkling that he also knew that you were the host of Songbird Station. He had sent you something along the lines of: "Hey Dovey! I stumbled across this song recently that I haven't heard in awhile. It's called Lemonade, and I realize that I've only actually heard the ukulele vers. LOL anyways, I hope you're not too busy this Spring Break and that you've had time to relax. I've always wondered though⌠have you ever met someone who feels familiar to you? Not like in a 'I've reunited with you after five years' kind of familiar, but like⌠something more like kindred spiritsâŚâŚ"
The whole message had the same amount of sweetness he always used to contact and interact with you, but the recommendation of the song Lemonade simply could not be a mere coincidence. You just couldn't accept that.
You had pondered this for a long timeâthe possibility of confronting him about his anonymous persona. And of course, there were several things that held you back from doing so. "I mean," you began, pushing off from the wall to slowly pace the little room available, "I don't want to scare him, y'know? Like I'm sure there's a reason why he goes by a pseudonym like I do, and I don't want to burst that bubble.
"Plus," you continued, "what if I'm just thinking about this all wrong? What if I've read the signs completely out of proportion and he's not actually Rhapsody Anonymous? That would just be embarrassing."
You stopped in front of your friends with your hands positioned on your hips and your head quirked to the side in thought.
"Would it really be so bad if you brought it up, like, even subtly?" Sieun asked you, her pink-tinted lips pursed slightly.
Jisung piped up, too, "Yeah, Sunwoo's a pretty cool guy. And based on what I've seen between the two of you and what you've told us, I don't think he would laugh at you or anything."
"I don't think he would laugh at me either," you confessed. "It's just kinda scary."
The two murmured their agreement. Though Sieun was your trio's only extrovert, you actually had no idea how you'd come to be decently close friends with these two. You chalked it up to all frequenting similar social circles. The music program was always a good way to make friends, and you were glad that it had yet to fail you, even in college.
Sieun made a vague gesture with her hand. "I think you should try, though. I'm sure you'll find a way to slide it in," she chuckled.
Jisung snorted. "I have never seen that man so flustered in his life."
"Yeah, he has to be whipped for you, Yn-ie."
A cough from the boy in the room. "Not like you're any more whipped than he is."
"Han Jisung!" You reprimanded, heat swarming to your cheeks.
He broke into a boyish grin, eyes wide and alight like a chipmunk. "What? Don't give me the government name; you know it's true!"
Even Sieun was laughing behind her oh-so delicately placed hand. "He's got a point."
You sighed, wrinkling your nose. "I came for support, not a call out."
"Are those not the same thingsâAH, I'M SORRY DON'T WHACK MEâ!"
â âś
There was a place on the Avenue with the best lime soda, as Sunwoo had claimed, when the two of you coordinated to get lunch together. Because you had chosen the place of your last hangout, you'd insisted that he chose a place this time. By his texts, he had seemed pleasantly surprised to be hanging out again so soon, and while your nerves were high in anticipation for the coming conversation, you also couldn't wait to spend time with him some more.
You met outside the storefront of a Vietnamese restaurant that you'd only seen in passing, and had yet to try. You glanced up from your phone just as Sunwoo came up from down the road toward you, dressed in jeans and a bomber jacket.
"Hey, sorry to keep you waiting," he said as he swung the door open for you.
You and he ducked inside. "It's no worries," you assured him. "Hope you're not sick of me just yet."
You saw that boyish grin of his as he caught your eyes and signaled the waiter for a table for two. "Never."
When the two of you were seated, your eyes greedily took in the options laid out on the menu. There were just far too many appetizing itemsâmaybe you should have scouted out the menu beforehand.
"Any favorites?" You queried from over the rim of your menu.
Sunwoo was slinging his shoulder bag over his head as you asked this. "Oh, uh, I've been hooked on their shrimp banh xeo ever since my friend Haknyeon introduced me to it. It's like a Vietnamese crepe with stir fried vegetables and a protein. But I think in general, everything is pretty good here."
You hummed. "Mmh, sounds good. And you said the lime soda is really good, too?"
He nodded his head vigorously. "Yes, for sure. That stuff is addicting."
You took his word for it, and soon, the two of you had finished ordering your lunch for the day. A part of you wished you didn't have to disturb the pleasantness of this one-on-one lunch date (was this a date?) with Sunwoo by bringing up the podcast, but what if by clearing the air, it would make your relationship stronger? (Or, it could end in a fiery, hot pile of shit!)
Either way, you would try to get to it as organically as possible.
"So I wanted to talk to you about something." Yes, because this is totally organic, Yn⌠You grabbed your cup of lime soda and played absentmindedly with the straw.
You gauged his reaction carefully. He perked up. "Youâyou wanted to talk to me about something?" He parroted, pointing his finger back at himself. "That's not usually good."
"Sorry, no, it's not bad!" You promised. On the way here, you had come up with about a dozen ways to go about this, but at the end of the day, there would only be a yes or no answer. "Do you, by chance, happen to listen to podcasts?"
There was that flicker of recognition over his face, and for a second, he reminded you of something like a puppy with how wide his eyes were. "Uhh," he drawled, scratching his head and feigning nonchalance, "I mean, sometimes. Like casually."
"This might sound weirdâ"
"Uh-huh."
"âbut are you Rhapsody Anonymous?"
If sweat could be animated, that was what you imagined to be dripping down the side of Sunwooâs face at this moment. He seemed to be figuring out a way to reply. âWould you believe me if I asked you what a Rhapsody Anonymous is?â
âNo, not really.â
âWhatâs a podcast?â
You huffed. âSunwooââ
âOkay,â he relented, slumping over slightly. He seemed nervous, in a way, eyes looking anywhere but you, twirling his straw between his thumb and index finger, his foot tapping furiously against the linoleum floor. âIâm sorry! I didnât really want to bring up the podcast to you because I thought that you enjoyed the anonymity, yâknow?â He told you with an apologetic wince. âAnd I really liked listening to the show, so I thought it wouldnât hurt to interact with you anonymously, as well, and over time, I thought weâd kinda become friends.â
He peered up at you nervously, and guilt wormed its way into the trenches of your gut. From what it seemed, he must have really thought that you would react negatively to him knowing your podcast-hosting side show.
âWe are friends,â you finally said and scooped a lock of hair out of your face. âIâm not like, mad, or anything; it was more of me trying to figure out why you felt so familiar to me. And Iâm really honored that you liked my podcast enough to want to interact with me there. It means a lot.â
With your small smile, Sunwooâs posture flooded with relief. âSo youâre not mad that I figured out your identity?â
âDefinitely not,â you shook your head. âIf anything, Iâm relieved. Iâve been wondering about your identity for a while now.â
The corners of Sunwooâs mouth lifted. âThatâs⌠thatâs cool. This is really cool,â he said. He let out a sigh, leaning back to slump in his chair with a dramatic expression of anguish on his face. âYou have no idea how much itâs been eating me up inside, Dovey! Like how do you balance your two identities? It takes so much energy for me to make sure I keep them separate.â
âI can tell; you werenât exactly the most inconspicuous,â you teased.
He sat up. âWhat do youââ
âWell, you kind of told me things in person that youâve told to me on anonymous, and vice versa.â You recalled to him the two main instances that gave him away to you. It was amusing to see the way he grew increasingly more flustered as you kept talking about it, but you realized that this was probably incredibly painful for him to hear.
Sunwoo had his head in his hands by the time you were done. âIâm an idiot.â
âYouâre not an idiot.â
He shifted slightly so that his cheek rested against one palm. âAnd to think that I was being all slick and secretive,â he pouted, scrunching up his nose. âYou know, I always thought about being friends with you in real life. That one time that I told you about that one Taylor Swift song that reminded me of you?â
âSuperstar?â
âYeah, thatâs the one.â He meditated on that thought while sipping his drink. âIt just felt right. Like you were far away but also right there in my ear. Does that make sense?â
You knew what the song was about; you could recite the lyrics by heart, and the fact that he associated that song with you⌠It sent your heart a-flutter. âIt does.â
He jolted up so suddenly you nearly fell out of your seat with him. âNot that Iâm desperately in love with you or anything,â he added quickly, the words tumbling out of his mouth as fast as he mentally skimmed through the lyrics again and again. His cheeks were tinged with pink, and you were sure that your neck looked as hot as it felt.
You pretended your heart didnât drop to the pit of your stomach when he said that. You laughed along with him, though you werenât sure why it sounded like it did. âOh, right, right. I didnât think that; donât worry.â All the butterflies in your stomach drooped.
Sunwoo scrambled to find the right words. âI just mean that I always felt like some average Joe, and you wereâŚâ He gestured to you helplessly, âyou.â
Your heart couldnât help but give a sharp pang at that.
âAnd how could I ever be anything more to you than just another listener in your stats, yâknow?â
You never thought that you would have ever given off that kind of vibe toward listeners, or come to mean that much to any members of your audience. It had seemed simply impossible for you to ever become large enough to evoke that kind of feeling in peopleâa popstar to their fans. You folded your arms over the table and leaned toward him. âSunwoo, you were never just another listener. You made yourself known to me and you made me feel like I wasnât alone.â
He slowly met your eyes, and you sat up straighter, reaching toward the paper straw wrapper to fidget with. âI originally started this podcast because I needed a place to talk. After feeling like people were always moving on without me, I was trying to search for validation, and I found that in podcasting. I figured that maybe⌠if I was feeling these things, then there had to be someone out there who was feeling them, too.
âAnd the song recommendation and music talk was always a nice bonus,â you added. âI had people send in anonymous submissions, but never as frequently as you did, and it made me feel like I was reaching somebody. Not just a random hit every so often, but somebody.â
Sunwooâs eyes shone in the artificial lighting inside the restaurant, and outside your little bubble, you barely registered the noises around you. It was just you and Sunwoo in this moment in time and space. He swallowed. âYouâre really cool, you know that?â
You grabbed your cup of lime soda and softly knocked it against his. âThatâs all you, superstar.â
â âś
Lunch had progressed much smoother after you had confronted Sunwoo, to say the least. You were convinced, however, that you had to meet this Haknyeon character he kept telling you about. He was the one to recommend the Vietnamese restaurant, and he was going to be your new favorite person. (Sorry, Sunwoo.)
When both you and Sunwoo had finished up with lunch, you didnât want to cut your time with him short and asked him if heâd ever been up to the Farmerâs Market north of the Ave.
âThereâs a Farmerâs Market over there?â His mouth gaped as he let you lead him a couple blocks north.
You grinned, tipping your head up to the sky to soak in the last bits of sunlight before it was about to be blanketed over by gray clouds. âYeah! Itâs really neat. Theyâve got one going every week, I think.â
The walk up was an easy one as it was a straight shot from the restaurant to the intersection where white picket fences were set up to barricade the street for vendors to set up in. Pop-up tents of different colors and sizes lined either side of the street as people milled about going from vendor to vendor. This had been one of the few gems youâd found when you transferred here, and though you didnât often visit, you tried to buy at least a couple things to support the local businesses. The fruit here tasted much better than the ones in-stores, anyway.
You and Sunwoo slipped past the fences and into the throng of people, and you watched his face light up in awe as he took in the sights and smells. There were people selling beaded bracelets and art, farmers tossing blueberries into kidsâ mouths⌠it was a lively slice of community here.
âWow, this is incredible,â he said, but suddenly stopped short. âOh my god, theyâre selling melon pops, Yn-ie!â He pointed out a stand a little further down the way that he had peered over a few heads for. He grabbed your hand and pulled you along with him. âCome on! Iâll treat you to one.â
It wasnât like you were going to refuse him.
Within another few minutes, you and Sunwoo had both acquired one melon popsicle each. It was adorable to see him bouncing along on the balls of his feet like a kid on Christmas morning as he lapped up the light green juice dripping down the side of the frozen treat.
ââlook how pretty those sunflowers are!â He gasped at one of the stands to your left selling bundles of different flowers.
An idea popped into your head, and you scurried over to the booth and traded a two dollar bill for one of the baby sunflowers. You whirled around to where Sunwoo stood and waited for you. âStand still,â you said while reaching up to tuck the flower behind his ear.
Before he could comprehend what was happening, you pulled out your phone and snapped a quick picture of him.
Sunwooâs eyes had gone wide, his cheekbones the same color as the roses in the bundles behind you. âWhat⌠just happened,â he asked, blinking, then came over to poke your shoulder to get your attention. He peered over at your phone screen to see that you were setting the photo you took as his new contact photo. He let out a hum, âWow.â
âItâs cute.â You let him see the picture.
He narrowed his eyes at the screen before finally giving it a nod of approval. âOkay, good enough.â
You scoffed, lightly hitting his arm with the back of your hand. âGood enough? I think itâs perfect.â You finished off the rest of your melon pop and tossed the stick in a nearby trash bin.
(If youâd looked up from your phone at that moment, you would have seen the utter bliss on Sunwooâs face after hearing you compliment a picture of him and calling it âperfect.â To him, absolutely nothing could ruin this day, this moment, this year for himâ!)
One raindrop fell onto your phone screen, followed by another, and another, and ano--
(He should not have spoken so soon.)
âItâs raining,â you observed dumbly, reaching a palm out to feel the pitter-patter of the skyâs tears on your skin. Others around you were beginning to notice, too, either huddling under their nearest tent or the overhangs of establishments lined on the sidewalk.
You figured somebody must have pissed the weather off because the rain only began to drum harder against the world.
"Well, shit," you laughed and patted Sunwoo on the back of his shoulder to move him toward the side of the road. "Let's find shelter!"
The two of you joined the crowd as you scrambled past the tents and up onto the sidewalks. Some people simply went into the shops themselves, but you and Sunwoo took a moment to stare out at the once-clear sky. Strange how springtime weather worked.
Sunwoo finished off his popsicle and found a trash bin to toss the stick into. He ran a hand through his dampened locks, then dragged that same palm down his face. "D'you like a little rain, dove?"
The nickname caught you off-guard for a second, but not as badly as seeing the soft-cornered smile on his face.
You cleared your throat. "I don't mind it. How about you?"
He made a frown at the sky as if he could reprimand nature for crashing the dateâwait, this wasn't a date, was it? "It would have been nice if the weather report was accurate for once, but a little walk in the rain never hurt anybody."
You voiced your agreement. The next course of action you both decided on was making the long trek home in the rain together. You tried to stay out of the shower as best as you could, but there definitely weren't enough overhangs to get you home completely dry.
At one of the intersections, Sunwoo looked over at you through his dripping wet bangs. "You don't have a jacket."
On instinct, you glanced down at your bare arms, only clad in a T-shirt. "Oh, I guess I don't," you mused.
"Hereâ" he shouldered off the black bomber jacket and draped it over your shoulders.
"Sunwoo, I can'tâ"
"Yes, you can," he laughed and shook his head out. The light turned green to cross, and he wrapped an arm around you to keep you steady along the rain-slicked street.
The jacket and arm around you were both warm, but you had a feeling that even without the jacket, his arm would have been more than enough.
When you'd made it to your apartment complex and bursted into the front lobby, you and Sunwoo practically stood in your own self-made puddles. You took the jacket off from around your shoulders and shook it out; it was a shoddy attempt to get the water out, but at least the material was semi-waterproof on the outside.
"Here youâŚ" Your throat went dry as you made to hand his jacket back to him and zeroed in on the way his wet, white T-shirt stuck flush against his skin. There was no other way to describe it but as see through, and there was no way in hell you were going to be able to erase that defined stomach from your mind. "...Go."
You coughed as you looked away, and he accepted his jacket back with a low "Thanks."
When he zipped his jacket up, you nodded toward the elevator. "Do you wanna come up and dry off before you go out? You can totally borrow my umbrella if you want, too."
He shook his head. "No, it's okay. My apartment's not far, I swear."
"Ah, alright. Get home safe then." You paused, then added, "Text me once you get back?"
Sunwoo flashed you a smile, and man, if you could engrave that smile, the wet hair, into your brain⌠"Promise. I'll see you soon, superstar."
He reached over and ruffled your hair, then ducked out of your apartment into the rain. Just before he was out of your sight, he turned back and waved at you through the front windows.
You let out an exhale once he had disappeared. A fuzzy feeling lingered in your chest, your smile never leaving your face. You were so far gone.
EPISODE EIGHT: SWERVE LIKE A CHICKEN
ALTHOUGH Spring Break had swept through the university faster than it came, Sunwoo could still say he felt like he was riding on Cloud 9. The beginning of the quarter was easily a more relaxed part of the term, but Spring quarter itself was a whole other nightmare in itself. Everyone around him was beginning to wake up from their break-dazed slumbers to clamber their asses back into uncomfortable lecture chairs and study rooms.
It was the first Tuesday back from Spring Break when he found out you were going to be in a practice room alone for a while, working on a new project. This intel had been courtesy of one Han Jisung, who had been texting Sunwoo off and on about a track he had been mixing with Chan.
han !!: yeah just left cuz my brain was feelin super fried 𤣠dunno how ynies still there
sunwoo's phone: oh fr?? she's still over there?
han !!: yuh bro that's what i just said
han !!: r u gonna do anything abt it đđł
sunwoo's phone: i have no clue what ur talking abt
han !!: okay bye chicken
sunwoo's phone: u did not just call me chicken.
han !!: đđđ
Sunwoo walked out of his room and stood in the middle of the apartment, staring blankly at the back of Eric's head. His roommate was seated on the couch setting up a movie, and when he sensed someone was staring at him, he began to say, "Baby!âwait a minute."
Eric made a face. "Never mind, it's just you."
Sunwoo scoffed and flopped onto the opposite end of the couch. "Rude! Before EC!Yn, I used to be your one and only."
"That's actually so incorrectâ"
"Do you boys ever not cat-fight?" EC!Yn mused as she came out from the bathroom and found a seat between Eric and Sunwoo. Eric instantly curled an arm around her and pulled her into his side.
Sunwoo considered this with a frown. Why was he so single? "You're lucky I tolerate your boyfriend, EC!Yn," said Sunwoo as he folded his arms over his chest and sunk into the shadows of his hoodie.
"I'm glad you've come to like me more than your own best friend," she drawled in jest. "What's got you in the dumps, my friend?"
Eric perked up, pressing the play button on the TV remote to start the movie. "Oh yeah! You were in such a good mood this morning."
A grumble from the lump of hoodie. "It's nothing."
A moment of silence passed. Then, "He misses Yn."
"I think so, too."
"Do you think if we texted her to text him, he would at least smile?"
"Oh, I think I found her Instagram the other dayâ"
Sunwoo peered out of his hoodie with narrowed eyes. "I can hear you guys, you know that, right?"
Both Eric and his partner shot him impish grins, delighted that their very obvious conversation brought him out of silence. The thought forced a smile onto Sunwoo's face anyway. Eric's baseball game had been canceled today because the team who they were going up against this week had internal problems (something about an affair between coaches and playersâit was complicated). Thus, Eric had decided to fill his afternoon with an impromptu movie session with his girlfriend. Sunwoo was invited by roommate obligation.
There were definitely more productive things that Sunwoo could have been doing (finding a minor, finding a job, finding the answers to his cognitive psych homework, etcetera), but watching⌠Wait, what were they even watching?
EC!Yn reached over and nudged his shoulder with her knuckles. "Hey, Earth to Kim Sunwoo."
He shook out of his daze. "Huh? Oh, sorry." He sighed, pulling out his phone. "Jisung just told me that Yn's at the practice room working still."
"Still?"
"Yeah," he bobbed his head. "They've been there ever since they finished their composition class this morning."
Eric lowered the volume on the TV. "Dude, you should go keep her company."
Sunwoo's eyes shot open as he began mindlessly scrolling through Instagram. "I donât wanna bother her; she probably doesnât wanna be bothered if sheâs been working for so long.â The thought had crossed his mind to head over to the practice rooms right now and sit in for a session, but he had shut his own idea down almost immediately. Would you appreciate him going to bug you or would you mind him just going to sit with you and enjoy your presence?
âI was thinking the exact opposite,â said EC!Yn, âI mean, whenever Eric comes over unannounced to come sit with me at the dorm, I appreciate it all the time.â
Eric cooed. âAw, you do?â
Sunwoo blinked and was suddenly glad he was staring down at his phone and not the couple on the couch next to him. But he glanced up to catch EC!Ynâs eyes. âDo you really think she wouldnât mind?â
When Eric tucked his face into her neck, she idly scratched his head. âOh, definitely. I think itâll be a nice surprise, considering she probably feels the same about you, based on what youâve already told us.â
âYouâre right!â Sunwoo shot up off the couch, but halted. âWait, she what?â
Eric snorted. âShe said that Yn probably feels the same about you, which, if Iâm being honest, I canât believeââ
Sunwoo dashed into his room to grab his wallet and keys. âNobody asked you!â
â âś
Coffee. You liked coffee, right?
Sunwoo couldn't quite think straight with the giddy anticipation bubbling in his stomach and up his chest as he balanced twin cups of iced americano in his hands. Taking the bus to the School of Music would have been less effort on his legs, but waiting for it simply did not sit with the amount of energy currently carrying him down the street and up the stairs and across the quad like a madman.
People were probably eyeing him weirdly, but he was trying to come up with things to say to you. Preferably, these things were smooth and not strange fragments that weren't properly strung together. He wanted to look put together, to sound put together.
He was probably going to look frazzled, though, from half-running a mile uphill, but that was okayâhe was excited to see you.
The School of Music stood right across from the School of Art building, the twin towers looming above the quad stairs. With school back in session, there were plenty of people milling about the entrance, and somebody graciously opened the door for Sunwoo so he didn't have to awkwardly balance his coffees and risk spilling them to get inside. He hadn't often visited this building, but he had been in here before to visit friends and upperclassmen. Though the architecture was grander, it still had the homey feeling of a high school band room, some place music students could call home.
Sunwoo navigated himself toward the practice rooms in the back hallways, murmuring "excuse me"s and apologies as he sidestepped string bassists and bassoons and snare drums. (He could've sworn there was a whole drum kit in one of these; it was strange seeing someone carrying around a single snare⌠huh.)
He reached the corridor to turn right into the practice hall when he froze, diving back behind the wall.
"âwait, Yangyangâ"
Something in him sunk deep into the pit of his stomach, an anchor to the sea floor. He watched you launch out of your practice room and into Yangyang's arms, both of you hugging each other closely. He had his arms wrapped around you and his cheek against the crown of your head.
Sunwoo couldn't hear what you were saying to each otherâif you were saying anything at all.
And you didn't let go. Not yet, at least.
When you did finally let go, the two of you were beaming at each other. It was near impossible to make out what kind of emotion was there from so far away, but Sunwoo couldn't look anymore when Yangyang leaned in towards youâ
Sunwoo pressed himself against the wall he was peering around.
Oh.
He struggled to swallow; there was a large lump sitting in his throat that he had to wrestle down.
Disappointmentâyeah, that was disappointment.
Before you or Yangyang could come down this way, Sunwoo retraced his steps from where he came until he was back outside. He sucked in a breath, mind abuzz.
He set down the cups of iced coffee, now perspiring, on a ledge nearby, so he could pull out his phone.
It rang twice. "Yo."
"Are you practicing right now?" Sunwoo asked, leaning his body against the railing. His free hand held his face as his brain replayed the events he had just witnessed. Did that mean what he thought he meant? You were totally allowed to see other peopleâthe two of you weren't exclusiveâbut goddamn, did that hurt to think about.
Was he too late? Had he chickened out so long that you decided to move on, or was he never in the running in the first place?
He heard a bit of shuffling from the other side, then a sigh from Changmin. "Now I'm not. What's up?"
"I'm coming over."
A pause. "...Okay, see you soon."
EPISODE NINE: [YELLS.]
THERE was something different in the air and you could taste it. Not literally, of course, but you figured your paranoia had manifested strong enough within you to be able to sniff these kinds of things out. "These things" referred to the slight difference in the way you interacted with Sunwoo, or rather, how Sunwoo interacted with you.
You turned your phone off again, having checked it for what felt like the fifth time in the past two minutes. Usually, he replied relatively fast, but for the past week or so, he'd been a little more delayed. He didn't text dry, which was a relief, but there was something off about it. You couldn't articulate it too wellâit was just a gut feeling.
"Oy, phone away, Yn," Sieun ordered, snapping her fingers and holding her hand out across the table.
You sent her a look, but reluctantly handed your phone over to her. "Butâ"
"No buts!" She tutted. She hid your phone within the confines of her purse before promptly returning to the warm bowl of biang biang noodles in front of her. "The more you check your phone, the sadder of a sap you look."
"Thanks," you deadpanned, but followed her lead and picked up your chopsticks to eat your food.
The two of you were seated in, arguably, the best Chinese restaurant on the Avenue. It had become a fast favorite of yours when you first transferred, saved for the long days and weeks when you needed something like spice to make you feel anything other than sad. Sieun had suggested coming down here for dinner rather than staying in and eating another round of instant ramen. It was something she knew would cheer you up easily, and so far, it was only half working.
You reached for your water, only to realize it was practically empty.
As if she could read your mind, the waitress taking care of your table appeared at your side and filled your water up for you.
"Oh, thank you!" Your eyes glanced over at her name tagâHN!Ynâand met her kind eyes.
"Of course. Anything else I can get you two?" She asked cheerily, swiftly filling up Sieun's cup, as well, with practiced grace. "Food's good?"
Both you and Sieun nodded your heads vigorously, especially since both of your mouths were now full and you couldn't speak. She seemed to get the idea and hustled over to a nearby table to tend to them. How waiters and waitresses always knew when you had food in your mouth, you could never figure out. It was always absolutely awful timing, but you supposed the skill was akin to Starbucks workers butchering name spellings.
When you finally swallowed your bite, you chased it with a gulp of water. "I don't think I did anything wrong," you said to your friend, pushing around the saucy rice in your bowl with the tips of your chopsticks.
Sieun covered her mouth. "I don't think so either," she replied, eyebrows furrowed. "Maybe he's just busy? It could be that he got a job or something, or school work is piling up."
You frowned. You thought he would have let you know he was going to be a bit busier, but at the same time, he didn't owe you anything. You just worried about him and hoped he wasn't overworking himself. It didn't help that you missed hanging out with him; it didn't feel like it used to between you just last week.
From behind you, you heard the door to the restaurant open and close with a loud smack! The door to the restaurant was awfully loud when it closed, unless it was carefully done. Something about the angle at which it was constructed, or something like that.
Sieun's brows flew up. "Speak of the devil," she muttered with her food pushed into her cheek.
"Hm?" You hummed and twisted around in your seat to see who she was referring to.
Oh. Well, she definitely wasn't wrong, per se.
Coming in through the door himself was Kim Sunwoo, as well as a few of his own friends, you guessed. You recognized one of them as Ji Changmin, one of the dancers from the winter showcase. Besides those two, there were four others, tooâthree other boys and a girl. You didn't recognize any of them, but you saw the way your waitress greeted them and squeezed one of the boys' hands.
You and Sunwoo made eye contact, and you shot him a small smile, lifting your fingers in a wave.
He seemed surprised to see you, and you didn't fault him for that. His wave was slight and smile shy, but you couldn't figure out why he ducked his head and didn't come by and say hi.
They're being seated for dinner, Yn. It's okay. Chill a little.
You turned back in your seat to face Sieun and your food again.
"Hey, cheer up, girl." Sieun's smile was sympathetic as she caught your attention. You hadn't even noticed how your posture noticeably slumped after that interactionâif one could even call it that. "Don't let this ruin your dinner, okay?"
You sighed out of your nose, testing your chopsticks over the rim of your bowl. "You're right. I don't know, Eun. It feels like we regressed? Is he avoiding me? Am I overthinking this?"
"I'm not sure, hon," she told you. "It'll be okay, though. I promise. Are you ready for the check?"
You nodded, reaching for your napkin to wipe your mouth.
Sieun lifted her hand and caught your waitress's attention, then made a motion for the bill. HN!Yn was quick to bring it over and set the little black tray with the receipt onto the edge of your table. In her hands she held a small device to input your method of payment.
"Are we splitting the bill today, ladies?" She asked you, eyes flickering between you both.
"Yeah, evenly split would be great, please," you told her.
Sieun leaned over to peer at the receipt as you reached into your bag to grab your card. Her face contorted into confusion, and she ran her finger over a line as if reading over it again carefully. "Oh, uhm, excuse me. It says we get a discountânot that I'm complaining! ButâŚ"
HN!Yn smiled. "Ah, you're friends with Sunwoo, right? That's what he told me, at least. I always give my partner and his friends my Friends & Family discount, so don't worry about it. I appreciate your integrity though."
You and Sieun exchanged wide-eyed glances, blinking, then turned to peer over at where Sunwoo's friend group sat. One of the boys sitting next to him whacked his arm to get his attention, nodding toward your table.
Sunwoo looked up.
Your head tilted to the side and you mouthed a "thank you?" to him, unsure of why he went out of his way to help you out.
He only nodded before ducking his head again. Huh. You'd have to thank him properly later.
HN!Yn was quick to help you and Sieun box your meals and finish paying. Before long, you tucked your arm around Sieun's to push out into the cool eveningânot without glancing back at Sunwoo's table first.
â âś
"She looks sad. Why is she sad?" Sunwoo sulked, lying atop his folded arms on the table and staring at you through the space between Haknyeon and JC!Yn.
You were the last person he thought he'd see when he and his friends walked into Haknyeon's favorite Chinese restaurant. You and your friend were pretty much wrapping up dinner when they'd come in, and he was quite literally startled by your presence. He'd been walking around on eggshells, he felt, all because of this stupid situation he'd forced himself into.
It was stupid. Yeah⌠it was stupid.
Changmin delivered a light whack to the back of Sunwoo's head. "You're dumb."
Sunwoo sat up and cupped the back of his head, leveling a glare at his friend. "Hello?"
"He's not exactly wrong," said Chanhee from the other side of him as he texted someone on his phone.
Sunwoo pressed his lips together and looked across the table from him at JC!Yn in a silent cry for help. The woman could only lift her shoulders half-heartedly. That meant that she agreed with them⌠great.
Eric snapped his wooden chopsticks apart and began using either stick to smooth the other for splinters. "We're saying you're dumb because you're doing this to yourself and to her unnecessarily."
Sunwoo huffed. "That's because you guys weren't there to see it happen! They're totally togetherâor at least, close." It still felt awful to think about. It felt like there was a hole in his chest left empty after considering the possibility that he was too late. He didn't want to get hurt.
"You can still talk to her like you used to, Sunwoo-ah," Haknyeon chimed in. "Even if they wereâand I'm not saying they areâtogether, there's still a healthy amount of space where you can dwell as her friend."
HN!Yn appeared at the head of the table with a tray of water, and everyone pitched in to pass the cups down. "Thanks, guys," she said, tucking the tray under her arm. "Are you guys ready to order?" The question was directed towards the rest of the table, but Sunwoo saw the way her eyes lingered on Haknyeon and how Haknyeon's smile shifted to something that Sunwoo was sure was only for her.
It made him feel strange again.
The group, as usual, trusted Haknyeon's choices in dishes and let him take the reins in deciding what they ate tonight. Once HN!Yn had headed off into the kitchen to deliver their order, conversation resumed swiftly.
"I think you're just scared, Sunwoo," JC!Yn said to him over the rim of her glass of water.
Murmurs of agreement resounded from all around the table. Sunwoo's jaw fell open. "IâI am not scared. What would I be scared of?"
"The truth! Oooh," Eric pursed his lips and wiggled his fingers in Sunwoo's direction.
Sunwoo promptly smacked Eric's hand away.
"If you weren't scared of the truth," said Haknyeon, as he propped his elbows onto the table, "you would have gone up to her in that hallway."
"Didn't she tell you that she didn't see Yangyang that way anyways?" Chanhee chimed in. He was still going at it texting whoever it was on his phone.
"But she also said she wanted to give it a second chance," Sunwoo corrected.
Changmin scratched behind his ear and grabbed sauce trays from the end of the table to pass down to everyone else. "That was before she started hanging out with you some more. What is your point?"
They all made excellent points, he thought. That afternoon he'd seen you and Yangyang, he'd gone to meet Changmin in one of the dance practice rooms. After that, he'd gone home to yell into his pillow until his throat burned. Eric had muttered something about Sunwoo being dramatic and summoned JC!Yn over to the apartment to deal with him.
Sunwoo had just been bummed. He didn't even know if bummed was a strong enough word.
"I'm just scared of getting hurt, I guess," he finally admitted, meekly.
The table quieted to allow him room to speak his mind, and even Chanhee put his phone away to give him his full attention now. It wasn't often Sunwoo wore his heart on his sleeve like this, and it wasn't easy either. For anyone. Admitting to his fears in the middle of a Chinese restaurant while five of one's friends listened in was intimidating, but it was comforting to know that these friends he kept would find a way to support him. Even if he was being stupid, their tough love was out of desire to look out for him.
When he was done, Changmin clasped a warm hand on his shoulder and his dimple pressed into his cheek. "Sunwoo-yah, I think that you second guess yourself too much and you know that. You're self aware enough to know that you make the mistake of not going for what or who you want."
Sunwoo stared at an impurity in the table. What Changmin was saying hit the nail on the headâit was what happened with the dance showcase, too, and now he was about to let it ruin a friendship he had with a person he cared very much about.
"My advice," Changmin continued, "is to talk to her about what you saw and clarify it. I know it's⌠I know it's scary thinking you're gonna get hurt again, but I think you'll feel a lot better afterward."
EPISODE TEN: SUPERSTAR, I'M NOT TOO FAR
your phone: hey thanks for the fnf discount last night! sorry i didn't thank u properly before, but yeah, really appreciate it :')
sunshine (sunwoo): it was no problem, dw abt it!
your phone: btw is everything okay? u seem a bit distant lately and i wanted to make sure u were doing alright
sunshine (sunwoo): ah yeah, im sorry :( there's just been some things on my mind
You shot Sunwoo a quick text back to let him know you were here if he wanted anyone to talk to. His text had just come in after you'd sent him a reply in the early evening.
"Yn-ah. Still on your phone, I see?"
You jolted and shoved your device into the pocket of your jeans, smiling sheepishly as Lee Jihoon power-walked into the backstage area with a pen behind his ear and a clipboard in hand. "Hi, Jihoon!" You squeaked.
He lifted his eyebrows at you, motioning for you to come follow him. Since everyone was back from Spring Break, the work for the play being performed was kicked into high gear. Jihoon was a graduate student at the university and a director of the stage here; adding the fact that he majored in the same thing you did also made him one of your favorite mentors ever. The back hallways were bustling with costumes, props and other assorted technicians while most of the actors were either in the main backstage area or onstage proper with the play director, HJ!Yn.
You followed swiftly after him and weaved through the people littered about the corridors. "I finished synching the panel back here with the projector in the box," you told him, "though, it's weird that it was ever undone in the first place." You frowned. There had been a lot of strange things happening in the theater lately.
Jihoon gave you a curt nod and set you up in front of one of the house lights panels located in the hallway leading right out to the audience. He pointed at it with the back of his pen. "Yeah, some funky shit's been happening around here," he sighed. "You were here the other night when the speakers were acting weird, right?"
You nodded and let him guide you through navigating this backup panel. "I was. You and Chan seemed really stressed."
"We were," he said, adjusting his cap. "We really do need some more funding to update our equipmentâcareful, that knob is really sensitive. Good, nice work."
Once you and Jihoon had successfully finished with this panel, you lingered in the hallway for a moment. Normally, you would switch back and forth between shadowing either Chan or Jihoon, and tonight was with the latter. He was going through a couple forms on his clipboardâhe must have been reading through them while working tonight.
"You seem distracted tonight, Yn-ie," he said. "Is everything okay?"
Despite being one of the busiest and hardest workers here, Jihoon was also one of the most observant, still. You leaned against the wall next to him, toeing at the floor. "Boys are stupid, right?"
Without hesitation or looking up from his clipboard, he replied, "As a boy, I can confirm."
That made you sputter out a laugh, and you saw him glance up and flash you a smile. When you couldn't find something else to say, he went forth. "I don't know the whole situation, and you don't have to tell me anything. But we guys are a littleâ" he made a gesture with his hands and wrinkled his nose, "âblind. You probably know that already, but dudes are dumbasses, and sometimes when feelings get in the way, they want to run for the hills.
"But if you think he's worth it, then reach out and be forward with him. And if he cares about you, he'll reach out and be honest," he finished. He let you settle with that thought, let it marinate in your brain to give you something to think about. (As if you didn't have a lot to think about already.)
You pressed your lips together with a slow nod. "Thanks Jihoon."
"Anytime, Yn-ie." He nodded back toward the direction you both had come from. "Let's go back that way, yeah? We've got some more housekeeping to take care of."
â âś
Sunwoo was in trouble.
"...I thought I'd recommend a song that's been on my mind. I've actually been listening to quite a few Taylor Swift songs recently, especially since she's re-recording all her albums! So here's 'Superstar' from Fearless, Taylor's Version."
He had put your most recent podcast episode on full volume while he made himself dinner. It had been a long day today, and so his automatic thought was to listen to you. But now that he was getting into the meat of the episode, he was quickly coming to realize how much trouble he was in. You were playing the song, and it was a direct call out to him to wake the fuck up.
As the song faded to a close, your voice came back on.
"Actually, I was recommended the song by someone I know," you said in the mellow tone you'd been in for the entire episode so far. "I guess I'm just confused and I was wondering if they really meant what they said."
Sunwoo nearly dropped the egg in his hand onto the kitchen floor. Guilt swirled around in the bubbles of the soup in the pot and he frowned down at the rich, creamy liquid.
He sighed, tapping the egg against the counter and cracking its innards into the pot. "Of course, I really meant it," he said as if you could hear him. He wished he had the guts to tell you everything that was going on in his head⌠As his soup boiled away, he leaned against the empty counter to wait, cradling his head in his hands, groaning. "You're being unfair, Sunwoo."
"...This one's from Peony! They say: almost didn't realize Rhaps Anon wasn't in the last episode until the very end when we hadn't gotten a rec from them. Hope they're doing okay!" Ah, so you weren't the only one who noticed his brief absence. Your sigh filled the apartment, though, he heard the way you tried to force some kind of cheeriness into it. "Yeah, I hope they're doing okay too. But Rhaps'll be back! Let's all wish them well. Fighting!â"
Oh, man. Now he felt even worse.
He really needed to talk to you. Oh god, he really needed to talk to you. If not to confess, then to clear the air and assure you that all was okay on his end. He was just being a coward, and he knew that well enough now.
When his dinner had finished, Sunwoo turned the flame off and headed for his phone on the opposite counter. He lowered the volume as he went in and pulled up his text thread with you.
sunwoo's phone: hey,, i know ur probs busy w the play this week, but is there a possibility for me to see you sometime soon? i wanted to talk to u abt something
He gnawed on his bottom lip as he awaited your answer, until he realized you were probably working. That made him drop his phone and return to his dinnerâmaybe he just needed to not look, so his anxiety wasn't so highâ
His phone buzzed and he bolted back over.
superstar đŤ: i think i'll prob have some time saturday morning
EPISODE ELEVEN: [SOMEONE'S LOOKING OUT FOR YOU, LOSERS.]
YOU asked Sunwoo if he'd like to tag along with you as you did some grocery shopping before rehearsal on Saturday morning. His answer had been automatic, and you both agreed to meet each other at the bus stop to ride down to the larger supermarket down the hill together. Even as you stood at the corner of your street waiting for him beneath the overhang, you were trying to come up with possible things he was going to say to you. You had figured, when heâd texted you Wednesday night, that perhaps the best way to go about this would be to make this casual. Hence, why you were forcing yourself to go grocery shopping a day earlier than you usually did.
Casual, in this case, called for âyou donât have stare me in the eyes the entire time,â and to be frank, you were a little too nervous for that kind of setting anyway.
You tugged the edges of your cardigan over you as you heard your name being called from the opposing street. Sunwoo was bounding his way over to you with his arm raised in greeting. You returned the gesture with a soft smile. âHey.â
He stopped by you, shoving his hands into the pockets of his gray jacket. âHi,â he said, licking his lips. âThanks for agreeing to meet with me.â
The bus slowed to a halt in front of your stop, and the two of you retrieved your transportation cards to board. âYou say that like I wouldnât have agreed,â you chuckled and tapped your card, Sunwoo following suit.
The two of you managed to find a pair of empty seats near the second half of the vehicle where the exit was for an easy departure when you reached the foot of the hill. But for now, you tucked your bag onto your lap and settled into the window seat, while Sunwoo occupied the one next to you.
You turned your head to gaze out the window and watch the world blur by as you did. The Avenue streets were a tad narrower than most around the university, so the bus traveled as efficiently as it could from stop to stop before turning the block to make its descent. It was technically still morning, and though it was spring, the sky had decided to blanket the sunshine with gray clouds to form an atmosphere that reminded you distinctly of the past winter quarter. Except, instead of thin, empty branches, the streets and walkways were encased in darkening green leaves and falling pink petals, a nod to the short-lived cherry blossom season. From the corner of your eye, you saw Sunwooâs foot start to tap against the ground like Thumper the Rabbit, and you wondered for the millionth time what was going on in that pretty head of his.
âI donât really understand,â you found yourself sayingâhis head swiveledâand you turned to look at him, âdid I do something wrong?â
Sunwoo stammered, "What? No, it wasn't you! It wasn't your fault at allâI was justâ" he sighed, grimacing to himself. "I was just being stupid. And I know that sounds super vague, but the short answer is that I was being stupid and scared and insecure."
Your brows furrowed and you felt the bus come to a gentle stop at the foot of the hill. "Scared and insecure? What's going on; is everything okay?"
You both got up to make a quick exit off the bus and began making the short walk from the bus station into the outdoor shopping center.
There was a jittery bounce to Sunwoo's steps as well as a tension in his shoulders. "Last week," he began, "Jisung told me that he'd just left you at the practice room and that you were probably going to be there awhile."
You nodded, grabbing a basket at the front of the grocery store. That rang a bell for sure. It had been a very long day in the practice room, so you weren't quite sure what direction this was going in yet.
"Well, I wanted to go surprise you and come hang out with you. You know, like, to keep you company." He started scouring the opposite shelf to you in the dried foods aisle, his eyes nervously darting from the BUY ONE, GET ONE pasta noodles deal signs, to your person. "And when I got there, I saw you and Yangyang."
Me and Yangyang� Oh, me and Yangyang.
It was like a lightbulb went off in your head, and you stopped pretending to look at the overpriced vermicelli noodles on the shelf behind you.
"And you guys were hugging and close and stuffâand by all means! IâI have no problem with that, of course," he added quickly, "I mean, you guys are really close⌠friends? And I just saw him lean toward you and left because I⌠I got the message." The latter portion was delivered in a defeated tone as he looked on toward you helplessly and sorrowfully. It was how Sieun described you Tuesday night when you'd seen Sunwoo at the restaurant: a sad sap.
You both stopped moving down the aisle to face each other. In the white, fluorescent supermarket lights, his hair hung in his eyes like his head in embarrassment. You were going to let him finish.
He cupped the back of his head, suddenly feeling so bare before you despite not being physically naked at all. "I thought some space might distinguish or extinguish my feelings for you," he continued, nose wrinkling and lip curling in a wince. "Clearly it didn't help, and I think overall, I realized I wasn't being fair to youâas a friend. And that I was also being the biggest fucking loser ever."
Wait, you were still reeling from the mentions about feelingsâ
Before you could even address the aforementioned, you had to make something clear first. You felt the corners of your lips lift. "Sunwoo, me and Yangyang really are just friends." At the confused, puppy-dog look in his eyes, you explained further, "That day, Yangyang came by and I made it clear to him that I just saw him as a friend. I felt really awful for feeling like I'd led him on and was going to lose his friendship."
Sunwoo's mouth opened, then closed, then opened again, and he struggled to come up with the response he wanted. "So⌠so when he was leaning in toward youâŚ"
"He leaned in and flicked my nose, then almost gave me a nosebleed," you chuckled. You'd given him a very appropriate flick to the forehead after that.
His eyes widened at that. "Well shit. Are you okay?" He asked, and you saw his smile slowly begin to make its appearance, the sun peeking through an overcast sky.
"Yeah, perfectly fine," you dismissed with a flick of your hand. "Especially now. But yeah, we're just friends."
There was a surge of relief in his tense shoulders. "Oh, okay."
He trailed after you as you continued to make your way down this aisle in particular to pick up the things that were on your shopping list.
At one point, he coughed, handing you the jar of red peppers you were reaching for. "So no hard feelings, right? I promise it will be totally back to normal!"
"Normal, as in back to before?"
He nodded eagerly. "Yeah! To be honest, Dovey, I was just kind of scared that I had lost my chance after waiting so long. I don't know. And I realized that I was just scared to face that fact."
You gauged his reaction and your own heart thundered in your chest. "Scared to face the fact that you'd lost your chance with me?"
"Well, yeah. Iâ" He stopped and froze like a deer in headlights. And in any other circumstance, you would have been laughing, but he seemed so distraught by what he just admitted to that you tried hard to suppress your amusement. Tried. "I just said that aloud, huh."
Nodding, you grinned fondly. "You did."
He smiled, cute and flustered, cheeks tinted pink. "You're always too easy a person to talk to," he muttered.
"I'll take that as a compliment."
"I would've said something soonerâŚ" He began.
Something jumped to attention in your brain. Oh no. "Was I giving you mixed signals?" You pursed your lips like you'd just gotten into something sour. "'Cause I swore I thought my attraction to you was clear. And, like, the thing where I totally began rethinking my thoughts about Yangyang when you came into the pictureâ"
"Wow, so Changmin was right?" Sunwoo made a face, holding his hand against his forehead. "That's crazy."
"Crazy good or�"
He chuckled, and you couldn't help but admire the twinkle in his eyes as he did. "Crazy so good."
"I don't think people actually say that."
He whined, "Yah, you can't already be clowning me. Not when I just confessed that I like you."
That made you sober up, but you couldn't say the same for your heart rate. Man, your BPM alone could probably power a bullet train⌠"I like you, too. I hope that's clear."
There you two stood in the middle of the dried foods aisle with twin smiles glowing on your faces, soft and shared. You didn't know what the BOGO pasta was doing, but it was definitely adding to the atmosphere. You had intended for running errands to distract you from whatever Sunwoo had wanted to talk to you about, but clearly that was not the caseâit would have never worked like that. You would be damned to have missed something like this. Not with him.
Perhaps he had made a mistakeâhe was now apologizing and clarifying and trying. You could hear Jihoon's words of wisdom ring loud and clear in your head. There was something perfectly fine about how this turned out.
"No more mixed signals?"
"No more mixed signals," he agreed.
â âś
The remainder of your errand run with Sunwoo had gone smoothly, and soon, you were both seated side by side once more on the bus up to the University District. Sunwoo had gotten a couple things for his fridge, too, and so you both sat with your grocery bags by each other and your fingers grazing the other. Ever since you had clarified your position with Sunwoo a little over an hour ago, you had been feeling much lighter, your heart skipping for a different reason. You were back to feeling the giddy excitement you always had around him, and especially since you knew he saw you in exactly the same way.
The two of you shared a laugh as you stepped off the bus and onto your block, grocery bags in hand.
ââIâm being completely serious! Apparently I was just snot-nosed wailing into her shirt about being single and forever alone,â Sunwoo guffawed, grinning wide at you as you both stopped to the side of the walkway. âAnd Eric was pissed, oh my god.â
âI mean, you just kiss-blocked him; kind of understandable,â you mused.
Sunwoo sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. âAye, I know. Heâs a good guy though. Total loser, but a good loser. He made me hangover soup the next day.â
You let out a laugh, walking slowly with him down toward the entrance of your apartment complex. "That was sweet of him."
He snorted, "A little out of character, but yeah."
"You know," you piped up, "when I was applying and eventually interviewing for the position with Chan and Jihoon, I had no idea what either of them looked like. So I accidentallyâwoah, shiâ"
Somebody coming down the sidewalk toward you crashed into your shoulder and sent you careening toward the sidewalk. Sunwoo swore as you let out a squeakâhis arm looping around your waist and hauling you against him to steady you.
He lifted his head in the direction of the person with a glower on his face. "Hey! Dude, watch where you're going!"
"Thanks," you said sheepishly.
He turned to fix you with a smile, and you saw the moment he realized the position you were both in: you pressed firmly up against the side of his body, his arm wrapped around you, your faces so close to one another⌠He released his hold on you, neck burning as he cupped the back of it. "Heh, yeah. It's no problem. People should just really watch where they're going."
You coughed and nodded your head. "Yeah, for sure."
The pair of you were now in front of your apartment complex once more, reluctant to say goodbye. You wondered if he would ask to spend more time with you, but you had a feeling that he wouldn't want to intrude on your time any longer. It wasn't like he was intruding to you, but it was just a feeling you had about him. He wanted to respect your time.
And, well, you both had groceries to put away.
"So I'll uh, talk to you soon then?" You asked him, holding your grocery bags in front of you.
He peered at you through his lashes. "Definitely."
"This morning turned out way better than I thought it would, to be honest."
"Yeah no, same here," he echoed. "I'm just glad you actually gave me another chance."
You reached over and gave his shoulder a playful punch. "How could I not? I've always believed in you."
That seemed to ignite something inside of him. He jutted his bottom lip out and whined, "Oh my god, you can't just say that! You're soâwah."
You giggled, watching him squirm like he was being jolted by electricity. "Hey man, sometimes you've gotta be straightforward."
"Yeah, I know." He sobered slightly and took a step forward. Your heart clambered around in your chest and rattled your ribcage. There was this look in his eyes that made you glance at his lipsâhis perfect, plush, pink lips.
You held still, held your whole fucking breath, as he turned his head and kissed your cheek. It was feather-light, barely there, and yet, all the heat in your body seemed to rush to that single spot in a millisecond.
When he pulled away, his voice was soft. "How's that for straightforward?"
EPISODE TWELVE: ONE LOVE SONG CAN'T CONVEY HOW I FEEL FOR YOU, SO HERE'S TWENTYâ
SUNWOO imagined that he looked as cartoonish as any man in love could. There had to be hearts in eyes, hearts around his head, hearts on a glittery pink trail that carried him everywhere he went. He giggled to himself as he fished his house keys from his pocket and unlocked the front door to let himself in.
"Oh my god. We've properly lost him."
With a loud, war-like AHHH!, Sunwoo yelped and nearly dropped his groceries, struggling to hold the bags to his chest as he pressed himself against the back of the front door. His apartment filled with high-pitched cackles of delight.
Though his heart was going through about a million cartwheels a second, he managed to force the fear from his eyes as embarrassment flooded his system. He flared his nostrils, frowning and tipping his head against the door. "I hate you guys!"
"You should hate Eric for giving JC!Yn your apartment key," Changmin wheezed, slapping his hands together and rolling around on the living room carpet as he pointed and laughed at Sunwoo's absolute misery. "You should've seen your face!"
Chanhee was on the couch with his legs curled up into his chest as he had his phone out, recording the entire thing. "This one's going in the drunk Sunwoo folder."
"Yah, I'm not even drunk!"
Chanhee shrugged. "It's become your general meme folder now. We should probably rename it."
Sunwoo whipped his head toward JC!Yn, who was seated on the opposite end of the couch with an amused smile on her face. "Noona! Are you just gonna let them bully me like this?"
Her smile widened. "Sorry, Sunwoo, but we didn't think you would miss us completely when you came in."
He let out a loud groan, fragging himself over to the kitchen so he could set the grocery bags on the counter and begin to unload them. "What're you guys doing here anyways? Isn't it Saturday morning? Where's Kei?" He asked, unloading a carton of juice from the bag and slotting it into the fridge.
Kei was JC!Yn's roommate, and the two girls always went on a grocery shopping date every Saturday morning with Changmin and Chanhee. They often made Changmin drive since he had the biggest car, and grocery shopping was an exclusive event that only the four of them were allowed to partake in. Eric, Sunwoo, and even Jacob had expressed distaste at that elitism. One of these days, they were bound to let someone else join⌠right?
But regardless, that always meant that Saturday mornings were occupied for them. So why were three-quarters of the group currently invading Sunwoo's apartment?
Changmin sat up from his place on the floor and fixed Sunwoo with a grin that made him nervous. "We dropped her off at their place, and we did go shopping this morning, but you'll never guess the curious thing we witnessed while we were there." His giggles sent a doom-like shiver down Sunwoo's spine.
Then it clicked.
Sunwoo abruptly stopped taking dried noodle packages out of the grocery bag. "You're kidding."
A snort from Chanhee. "Oh, you wish."
Sunwoo bashed his head against his sweater-covered palms. "No."
"Yes!" Changmin shrieked.
"I didn't know you guys went to that supermarket!" Sunwoo wailed, throwing his head back toward the ceiling. "You guys saw us?"
JC!Yn rested her chin against her arm as she leaned over the back of the couch to face him. "We heard you, too. I'm glad you decided to own up to your chicken-ness. See? Wasn't so scary after all."
Well, he couldn't exactly agree with that. But he also couldn't disagree with it. He'd been so scared he was about to lose your friendship then for being so insecure for no reason. A simple clarifying question could have saved the both of you so much strife. But the conversation also reaped rewards: your mutual confessions.
He sulked and didn't say anything.
"It was cute though, Sunwoo-ah," said Chanhee with a teasing lilt to his smile.
"And also," Changmin cut in, "what do you mean 'so Changmin was right? That's crazy?!'"
Sunwoo snorted. "Now that, I have nothing to say to."
"So what's the deal now?" JC!Yn asked. "Are you two dating now or�"
Oh. Another long pause, thenâ "Oh my god, you didn't ask her out?"
"Hey! Listen!" Sunwoo yelled in an attempt to defend himself.
"We're listening." Chanhee folded his arms over his chest with a less than impressed look on his face. He scoffed. "I can't believe you pull."
"Shut up!"
"He hasn't even asked her out yetâhow can he pull?" Changmin quipped back with frenzied gesticulations.
Sunwoo groaned as he flopped over the counter. He couldn't believe he was having such a good morning, and now he was being berated once more for his stupidity. How could he not ask you out? It was right there! The opportunity had presented itself a multitude of times, and yet, why was he still here, dateless?
Then there came the thought of how to go about this. There was a part of him who thought that just asking you was probably fine. But the other part remembered how much he liked youâso texting was simply not an option. It had to have some pizzazz, a bit of oomph, to it.
"We can see the gears turning in your head, Sunwoo," said JC!Yn. "What's on your mind, bub?"
Sunwoo looked up from where he had smattered himself onto the kitchen counter like a pancake. "I have no rizz."
Chanhee coughed. "Well, that's not news."
Sunwoo sent him a scowl. "How should I ask her out? I kind of want it to be special, you know?"
"Hmm." JC!Yn pursed her lips, tapping her chin in thought. "The other day, I was talking to Sangyeon about music or something or other, and he showed me the playlist he'd made his girlfriendâ"
"His fake girlfriend," Changmin corrected with a little smirk.
She rolled his eyes. "I'm pretty sure Lee Sangyeon is not sad enough to make fake playlists for his fake girlfriend." It was a known inside joke amongst the friend group that Sangyeon had a "secret girlfriend" stashed away somewhere. A few of them liked to joke that she either didn't actually exist or that he kept her locked in his laundry machine or something. Mostly, though, they just wanted to know if he actually was single or not. What was the point of keeping her a secret anyway?
The slight change in victim brought Sunwoo's mood up. "What about the playlist, noona?"
She blinked, turning her attention back to her original train of thought. "Oh, right. What if you made her one of those cute, romantic playlists?"
The four of them exchanged glances with one another. It was a silent form of communication, one that had one uniform thought running through the wire.
â âś
You'd received a text from Sunwoo about thirty minutes ago asking if he could stop by your apartment to drop off something of yours. Apparently, in the madness of the checkout aisle at the grocery store, he had accidentally "stolen" one of your cans of chicken noodle soup.
You hadn't bought chicken noodle soup though.
This was why you now anxiously awaited his arrival for the real reason he wanted to stop by. You had literally just seen him about an hour or two ago, but you'd be lying if you said you were happy at the prospect of seeing him again so soon. Your cheek still seared from his kiss.
As if he could read your thoughts, you heard a loud series of knocks at the door.
"Coming!" You called, hustling over from your living space area and over to the door.
After peeking through the peephole, you definitely saw Sunwoo, but what he was holding was nowhere near the likeness of a can of chicken noodle soup.
In a hurry, you ripped the door open, lips parted at the bundle of bright colored blooms in his hands. Sunflowers and carnations and lilies and rosesâ
He peered out sheepishly from behind the bouquet with his other hand occupied by his open phone. "Hi," he peeped.
"Hey," you exhaled, a grin fighting its way onto your face.
"If I made you a playlist, would you go out with me?"
You blinked, heartbeat rocketing into high gear. "Sunwoo," you started with a disbelieving laugh, "you don't have toâ"
His thumb lowered onto a button on his phone. "Whoopsies, already did it."
Right on cue, you heard your phone buzz from your pocket. Curious, you withdrew it and opened the text message from him with a link to a Spotify playlist entitled: "One love song can't convey how I feel for you, so here's twenty."
You could have melted into a puddle of ooey-gooey goodness. "Sunwoo," you lamented, smiling way too wide now.
He beamed back at you. "What do you say?"
You shook your head, throwing your arms around him as he laughed and hugged you back. "You're so cute. Yes, I'll go out with you."
He gave you a little, warm squeeze. "Oh, thank god. I thought I was gonna die from anticipation."
You laughed and smiled into his shoulder. When you pulled away, your hand gently reached for the side of his face. "What if I kissed you right now?"
His eyes widened a smidge. "What if you wha--"
You cut him off and pressed your lips to his briefly, then pulled back.
"Wait, wait. Come back here," he murmured, chasing after you and crushing his mouth against yours. And it was perfect. Everything was perfect. The feel of his lips, the smell of his cologne, the firmness of his shoulders beneath your grip and the perfect pressure as you both sealed the deal with a kiss.
The two of you pulled away at the same time with labored breaths, foreheads meshed together as you caught your breath.
"You're not gonna turn this into a podcast episode, are you?" He asked, voice low and raspy, yet laced in a playful tonic.
You teased him right back. "As long as it doesn't end poorly."
He chuckled, and you could feel the vibrations of his laugh against your lips. "Then I guess I'll just have to make it the best date ever."
"Don't worry," you said with a cheeky hand on his chest, "I believe in you."
With a laugh, he grazed his lips over yours again. "Thanks, superstar."
a/n: hihi!! thanks so much for reading <3 if you enjoyed, i would deeply appreciate a comment, reblog, or an ask to tell me what u thought about it! much love, onto kevin's !!
This was such a fun ride, and I enjoyed reading every bits of this story! *-*
Fun fact: I started reading this story the morning I departed from a business trip, and then continued at the airport. The flight was eventually delayed by almost 2 hours, so this saved my sanity in those hours, so thank you sooo much for that!
As for the story, I loooved the podcast plot! As someone who actually has a podcast, I could relate to the reader hoping that it would help at least someone, so that they would know they aren't alone in whatever they are going through. And I looove how whipped Sunwoo was, and how everyone around him knew that haha loved the shippers!
Honestly, while reading, I didn't feel like this was almost 29k because every scene felt important, and I had such a fun time reading it.
Thanks again for sharing it with us and for keeping me company when I was waiting for my flight *-*
could you write kim sunwoo best friend/roommate somnophilia?
i love your writing <3
SWEET DREAMS ⢠ęšě ě°
The two of you werenât very close by any means, Sunwoo being your twinâs best friend. As clichĂŠ as it sounded, maybe a part of you wished the two of you were. Maybe, thatâs why after him apologizing and you having a wet dream, things shifted for you.
pairing â¸â¸ kim sunwoo đ fem!reader â â â â â â â â â â â đ˛ feat â¸â¸ non-applicable
word count â¸â¸ 5,7k +
genre â đ â¸â¸ smut, enemies to âlovers,â non established relationship
Sunwoo, your twin brotherâs best friend, who youâve known since the three of you could even properly walk. You easily see him nearly every day. Now that didnât mean the two of you were close since then (nor being close now), he had always been and is most definitely more of your brotherâs friend than yours. That fact in no way had ever bothered you by any means. To you, it was to be expected as the two of you had nothing particularly in common to connect with. Since you were children, people joked that if it wasnât for their appearances, theyâd be passable as the twins.
Present day, you sit quietly crisscrossed on the floor folding your laundry only averting your attention due to the sound of knocking against your bedroom door.
âCome in.â
The door whips open as your brother informs you that Sunwoo was coming over and heâd appreciate it if you didnât try and pick a fight with him. You remind him itâs Sunwoo who starts the bickering between the two of you but, as expected, he dismisses your attempts of clearing your name. Simply waving his hand asking you to just get along and stay quietly in your room. Deciding to save your breath you promise him, huffing in annoyance as you remind him to close your door behind him as he walks away. Which of course much to your annoyance he ignores you completely, leaving you to get up and close it behind him. Coming to the conclusion that it was better to forget him than fixate on him being aggravating, you channel all your frustrations to your tasks. You finish your laundry and start a side quest of organizing your bedroom. Thankfully with the added motivation it's not a long feat. You fall back into bed when youâve decided it was good enough for now, only sitting up once you hear your stomach growl, placing a hand over your stomach. Technically your brother couldnât force you to stay in your room forever, even if he wanted to. Pondering on your options you decide you didnât care, slipping on a pair of slippers and walking downstairs passing through the living room to enter the kitchen. Choosing to ignore their annoyed complaints when you crossed in front of the tv, not that you had a choice. Not that stopped them from complaining. Opening the fridge to search for something easy but filling to make the options felt endless. Closing the fridge door after grabbing a few random tupperware with leftovers, you flinch in surprise seeing Sunwoo standing on the other side staring at you with no expression.
âStop scaring me, what do you need?â You questioned him, rubbing your chest in a circular motion to steady your heartbeat.
âI just wanted to grab a drink so letâs not be so dramatic.â
Furrowing your eyebrows together, you angrily heat your food in the microwave telling him you werenât being dramatic. Adding that maybe he should consider making his presence known so others wouldn't get frightened by him. His rebuttal to that is asking if youâd let him know before youâre in the same room as him due to your face being too scary looking for him. Staring at him for a moment you look away with an eyeroll, telling him to shut up under your breath. Taking the time to place the dirty dishes into the sink and sit down at the table to eat your dinner in peace. At least as peaceful as it possibly could be with them two around. He doesnât say anything else as he takes one last glance over at you before heading back into the living room to watch the game with your brother. Youâre thankful for the loss of his presence, eating in silence having left your phone stupidly in your bedroom. Finishing up your meal you walk over to the sink making sure to wash your dishes before placing them into the dishwasher, drying your hands onto the dish towel. With a sigh, you turn on your heel in the direction of the archway going back towards the living room. Your brother requests your presence into the kitchen, rolling your eyes in annoyance as you reluctantly follow behind him to go back towards where you had just previously left.
âWhat did I say about staying in your room and not picking fights?â He angrily whispered, his eyebrows furrowed in a way that made you want to laugh.
âYou canât force me to stay in my room, youâre not my parent. This is my house too and if I want to eat, I can eat. Get over it.â
âNot when you pick fights with everyone.â
âYou might be a few minutes older but youâre not very bright. Get over yourself.â You cut him off, turning away to stomp up the stairs until you make it into your bedroom, slamming the door behind you. Annoyance flooded your nerves wanting to go back downstairs and give him a piece of your mind but quickly deciding against it knowing itâd only be used against you later on. The rest of the night was quiet except the few loud cheering from downstairs that youâve grown to know when their team scored. You sit up to try and relieve the restlessness in your legs, walking over to your computer chair and sit down in silence before turning your computer on. Placing your noise canceling headphones on, sitting comfortably crisscrossed in the seat, allowing yourself to get lost in your game.
Itâs hours later into the night when a hand on your shoulder scares you, jumping out of your skin, ripping the headphones off your head ready to fight whoever it was. Your demeanor changes when you look up and see Sunwoo, rolling your eyes as you place your headphones back onto your head, leaving one ear open as you go back to focusing on your game.
âWhat?â Your tone laced with clear disdain.
âI just wanted to apologize.â
Pausing your game you turn back to give Sunwoo a confused and just as equally suspicious expression not exactly believing in the slightest that he wanted to give you a genuine apology. Heâs quick to pick up on your suspicions as he tries his hardest to convince you that heâs sorry for the way your brother treated you because of him. Also apologizing for being rude earlier to you, not so subtly adding a compliment in there about your face. Not that you exactly believed him or the apology but the apology was nice to hear for once instead of being told you were the problem, halfheartedly accepting the apology and telling Sunwoo to close the door behind him on his way out. To which he does after walking away with a sigh as if he could tell you didnât believe him. Which is something that he couldnât blame you for. He's never given you a properly good reason to fully trust his words or even like him due to his tough guy behavior and treating you as a lesser being to him. Especially when your brother had already started picking on you, Sunwoo never failed to chime in with him. Sunwoo did want to be a better person, to show that he's changed, but heâs aware itâll take time. Breaking old habits of his. Waiting for him to leave, you peel off your headphones, staring at the closed door in confusion. You werenât sure which was worse, Sunwoo being decent towards you or being a prick. Either way, you weren't buying the act. Saving your progress before turning off your pc and climbing into bed for the night.
Sweat covered your skin, sitting up with shaky breathing, looking down at your comforter with wide eyes. There was no way in hell that you had just dreamt what you did, a hand shooting down under your blanket, gasping when your fingers brushed against your panties. A wet patch was there, evidence of your dreams, shaking your head rapidly praying you were still dreaming. In denial that you had dreamt of Sunwoo in such a manner. Shame, embarrassment, it all flooded into your mind like hot lava. You couldnât believe that your mind would sabotage you in such ways. Dreaming of someone sexually when you shouldn't is both embarrassing as well as just as equally horrifying. Standing up you hurriedly grab clothes out of your dresser and make your way across the hall in desperate need of a shower. Begging that between a hot soapy shower and being awake for a bit will helo make you forget the entire dream all together.
However, youâve never had decent luck.
Luck. You have none of it.
Sunwoo continues his daily routine of coming over to see your brother, your brain taunting you with images of that dream.
Due to this, the next few days are full of awkward silence. Well maybe more so from your end than Sunwooâs, but nonetheless you avoided him at all costs. You couldnât get the memory of your dreams out of your head, making even being in the same room as him feel deathly awkward. Sunwoo notices rather quickly of your avoidance. He couldn't pinpoint exactly why you suddenly avoided him like the plague. It was normal for you to avoid him by some degree but it was usually vocal rather than physically avoiding him.
Sunwoo enters the kitchen, your breath catching in your throat, coughing hard as you beeline out of the room and towards the stairs leading up to your room. He could've let it be, assuming this was the new normal for you two, but something about it had started to grow in him. Annoyed by your inability to even acknowledge his existence. His feet think before his brain has time to catch up, following behind you up the stairs. Before you can properly close your bedroom door, Sunwooâs hand catches it, looking at him in confusion.
âCan you let go of my door?â
âWhatâs your deal?â
âExcuse me?â
Sunwoo looks at you as if he would rather be literally anywhere else. Which is funny considering he could be. Annoyed by his presence (and definitely not because the dream is replaying faintly in the back of your head, making you clench).
âI asked, what is your deal?â Sunwoo reiterated. Watching as you rolled your eyes alongside you making another attempt to close your door. Which he easily manages to block.
âNothing, Iâm trying to close my door. You're making that mighty difficult.â
âYou know thatâs not what I meant, youâve been avoiding me.â
You scoff, as if he had offended you. As if he wasnât correct.
âI have not been avoiding you, don't flatter yourself.â
âWhat would you call it then, hm? Leaving the room when I enter, ignoring me? Is that not the definition of avoidance?â
âNo,â you pause, looking him up and down. Studying him. âJust means weâre not friends.â Honestly you're impressed he even noticed, considering him to be dumb. Not that he ever gave you that impression you had made it yourself after deciding you disliked him and his personality.
Sunwoo stares at you for a moment, quiet, as if he was trying to make sense of you. Then, he busts out in laughter, shaking his head in disbelief.
âYou canât lie worth shit. How am I supposed to believe you when you canât even muster up a good poker face.â
Annoyance flooded your senses, face red and warm with equal parts of embarrassment and frustration. Sunwoo laughing at you, let alone directly in your face, made you want to throttle him. Waiting for him to stop laughing, his face red, wiping remnants of his tears away from his eyes.
âAre you done?â You questioned him, biting on the inside of one of your cheeks. Sunwoo was annoying you tremendously, yet, also fighting back the urge to smile at his stupid laugh. Dramatically he sighs, standing up straight to look down at you, stupid handsome smirk on his stupidly beautiful lips.
âSo what is it? Why are you pretending I donât exist?â
âSunwoo. Itâs nothing, I just donât feel the need to pretend to be close to you.â Your fist tightens around the doorknob, an attempt to calm yourself down, desperately trying to ignore the voice in your head screaming over Sunwoo. The way his gaze fixated on you made your heart race. He could easily walk into the bedroom given his strength, the idea arousing something in you. Your thighs squeezed together as close as they possibly could be, barely focused on what Sunwoo was saying by this point.
âItâs nothing, youâre going through all the trouble for nothing?â Sunwoo himself was growing annoyed, feeling as if the two of you were simply going in circles, yanking the door open so he could get a proper good look at you.
âJust tell me why youâre avoiding me and Iâll leave. I want to at least apologize but I canât if you donât grow up and say anything.â
Opening your mouth to fire back, your words flow out of you faster than you can filter them, growing more passionate in the process. Your fists balled up on your sides, glaring at Sunwoo with such intensity that one could swear they saw smoke come out of your ears.
âSay it again.â Sunwoo responds with, taking you aback.
âWhat?â
âSay it again,â he encourages you again, or rather dares you. âI want to hear you say it again.â
Your throat suddenly feels like itâs closing in on itself, your mouth dry, voice gone. It dawns on you that you exposed yourself, your innermost thoughts to the very subject of them. Yet, there he stood, waiting for you to confirm what he had heard and you knew he wasnât going to let it go until then.
âI dreamt we fucked.â You said barely audible to your own ears.
âLike you mean it.â
âI donât mean it,â you cut yourself off, face extremely red. âWe had sex in my stupid dream. Happy? Now leave.â You try to grab the door but Sunwoo is quicker, stepping past the threshold and into your bedroom. The door slams behind him, causing you to jump. He shouldnât be in here, your heart shouldn't be racing, and Sunwoo definitely shouldn't be wrapping his arms around you like he is. His cologne hits your nose, a faint moan vibrating in the base of your throat, content with his scent. The two of you have never been this close even when you were slightly considered as friends in the past, your veins filled with electricity.
âDid we kiss in your dream?â Sunwoo asked, making a mental note of him staring directly at your lips when he asked that.
Nodding, you inform him that the two of you did, awkwardly complimenting his lips. That makes Sunwoo chuckle, nodding to himself as his hand is brought up to cup the side of your jaw. Chills run down your arms, unaware that youâre fully leaning into his touch by this point, gasping softly when he leans in closer.
âI really want to kiss you right now.â Thereâs a short pause. âCan I kiss you?â
Again you shouldâve pulled away, kicked him out of your room, told him to never talk to you again, but you simply couldn't. Instead you lean in with him until your lips meet. The feeling in your body is as if fireworks had gone off, groaning in your throat when the hand on your jaw tightened. The kiss makes your heart race hard in your chest, beating hard into your ribs. Reach up to place your hands on the backside of Sunwooâs neck to ground yourself, closing any space left between the two of you. Greed flowed through you wanting more, needing more, allowing Sunwoo to guide you blindly so your back rests up against your bedroom wall. Hands become a frenzy mess with the two of you growing bolder, needier. Sunwoo only pulls away long enough to get air. The kiss intensified until the two of you migrated towards your bed, falling flushed into the mattress with a shared gasp.
Sunwoo looks down at you, his eyes making you feel like you would melt right then and there. Breaking eye contact as you watch his hand travel from its place around your thigh up to rest on your waist. His grip is firm, possessive, and strong.
âWhat did we do in that dream of yours, hm?â
Itâs hard for you to get a single word out being fixated on his hands, whimpering when he asks again, the hand not wrapped around your waist finding its way underneath your shirt.
âYou, ah,â you moan, squeezing your legs together when Sunwoo cups your breast into his hand.
âI what, come on baby, tell me.â
âIâm trying,â you whined, the pet name making you feel insane. Choosing to wrap a hand around his arm that was attached to the hand teasing your sensitive skin.
âYou ate me out, made me feel good.â You trailed off, facing away from Sunwoo avoiding his face, red with embarrassment. Feeling his hand remove itself from your waist and grip your chin instead you prepare yourself to be face to face again. Fighting the urge to groan up at Sunwoo, becoming maybe a bit hyper aware of how sexy his expressions were. A single shift in his eyebrows made your heart race anticipating what he was going to do next, growing wet from the simplest of things. Cursing Sunwoo in your mind. Sunwoo drops his hand from your chin and uses it to spread your legs apart, making you return to reality, looking down at him in surprise.
âWhat are you doing?â
âWhat do you think?â Sunwoo questioned back, now removing the hand from your chest, watching him scoot back on the bed until he's flat on his stomach. Shyness flooded your mind, asking to shower first, trying to sit up away from his face that was too close to your pussy. He growls in annoyance, wrapping both his arms around your legs, yanking you closer. The back of your head makes contact with the mattress, the air in your lungs knocked out of you as Sunwoo puts you in full view for him to witness. Covering your face with your arms, you groan telling him to shut up as he runs two fingers up then back down on either side of your lips. Heâs teasing you both verbally and physically, his fingers skilled in the way he easily finds what areas make you gasp, thighs shaking under his arms. He comments on how wet your thin panties are, how little they leave for the imagination, rubbing two fingers over it to collect it onto them.
âLook at me.â
Shaking your head you yelp, feeling his hand connect with your clothed pussy, Sunwoo telling you to look at him again. Something in you snaps, looking down at him with a pouty expression. One that made Sunwoo twitch in his sweats, bringing his fingers up for you to see, a cocky smile on his face.
âThis wet from kissing and touching, your dreams mustâve been real good for you to be this wet for me.â Sunwoo puts emphasis on the last part of his sentence, pleased with how red you got, struggling to deny it. Your stammering and defensiveness is more than enough evidence for him. Growing impatient Sunwoo wraps his hand around your panties, yanking them off you. The sound of the thin lace fabric ripping makes you whine over it. Sunwoo saying he will replace them later, content with the compromise.
âI want a taste,â Sunwoo states, looking up at you through his eyelashes. It brings a wave of heat across your skin, nodding eagerly in response. Itâs not enough for him, Sunwoo connecting another slap against your now fully exposed pussy. Whimpering, being fully aware of what he wanted, you beg for him to eat you out, toes curling when he pushes your legs open fully for him to slot into. Bitting your bottom lip as he places gentle kisses against your pussy, his ears twitching as you whimper his name under your breath. His breath fans over your wet pussy making your head fall back, fingers spreading you open for him to see. With how wet you are itâs impossible to mask the noises produced by your pussy, going to cover your face with your hands, which is denied by Sunwoo telling you to watch him. Propping yourself up onto your elbows you watch as Sunwoo smiles at you before dipping his head, tonguing in between your folds as his nose brushes against your clit. Snaking a hand down to wrap around his soft dark locks you curse under your breath as he eagerly tries to get noises out of you. He skillfully moves his fingers to work alongside in perfect harmony with his tongue. Itâs a deadly combo, begging him to slow down his pace feeling your brain grow dangerously fuzzy at the edges. His lips brush over your clit giving it opened mouth kisses before refocusing his tongue to delving it into your hole as he moves you impossibly closer to his face. Sunwoo sounds starved as he continues to eat you out, sloppy sucking and licking filling out the bedroom, squelching around his fingers, moans mixed in between. You donât ever want him to stop, squeezing around his fingers feeling heat growing in your lower abdomen rapidly, your hand in his hair moving down to dig into his broad shoulders.
âSunwoo, hold on, oh fuck,â you ramble, chest raising and falling fast, nearly screamimg as his fingers pump out of you quicker. âIâm, oh god, Iâm going to cum, don't stop.â You beg, plead, feeling the knot snap. Your upper body falling back into the mattress, back beautifully arches so your lower half is flushed to his face. Sunwoo doesnât move as your thighs tighten around both sides of his head, your nails dig into his skin, trembling intensely on his face. Slumping into the mattress, your eyes blurred, mouth agape as you tried to catch your breath. You can hear Sunwoo speaking but youâre too tired to move, whining feeling him sit up from his previous position to crawl on top of you. He leans down to plant kisses across your face, brushing your sweat matted hair out of the way.
âYou there, baby?â
In response you shake your head earning a little smile from Sunwoo, who lays down next to you, planting the occasional soft kiss onto the side of your face. Once your heart has settled down enough, your body gaining its strength back, you turn to face Sunwoo. Sharing glances in silence you're the one to break the silence, sitting up shakily and moving to sit on Sunwooâs lap. Accidentally plopping down onto his lap, he groans, guiding you with his hands into a more comfortable position for the both of you. Apologizing with a little blush on the apples of your cheeks.
âWhat are you doing up there?â Sunwoo questions, genuinely curious on what you were thinking of doing. With a shrug, you cross your arms to easily peel off your shirt, your breasts in full view for Sunwoo. Which he takes happily. Sunwoo swears under his breath at the sight letting both of his hands travel from your thighs up to your breasts, squeezing them several times over.
âYou look so beautiful.â
His honesty makes you blush, telling him to shut up, giggling as he glares up at you. The softness of his actions makes your heart flutter, leaning down so you could catch him into a gentle kiss, humming as he fondles your ass. Youâre addicted to Sunwoo, pulling back slightly tempted to slip an arm back and put him into you, ride him, but you were too tired for too much more. A pout forms on your lips, Sunwoo catching on quickly much to your liking.
âWhatâs wrong, baby?â
You sigh, planting a quick kiss onto his lips.
âIâm tired but I also want you in me.â
âI can help with that.â He states. Having you climb off his lap, standing up to remove his sweats and boxers. Finally seeing his dick makes you clench, extremely tempted to initiate a second round but you know your limits. So instead you watch him as he gives it a few slow strokes, a shaky breath falling off his lips as he tells you to comfortably lay down on your side. You listen obediently, turning to face away from him, moving until youâre perfectly comfortable. Feeling the bed dip down, your breath catches in your throat feeling Sunwooâs warmth return.
âOpen your legs for me.â
You listen.
Sunwoo fixes his position so he can slip into you comfortably, listening to his deep noises that make their way out of his mouth. Feeling him just barely move inside you makes heat wash over you, having to bite down on your knuckle to subdue your own noises, telling yourself to relax. Thankfully he's not painfully big, growing comfortable with his size, bringing Sunwooâs arms to wrap around your waist, fingers interlocked with yours. Neither of you speak about the sudden change in your dynamic. Maybe too scared to put a label onto it, deciding for yourself that it was too late to worry about it too awfully much. Telling Sunwoo a final goodnight as you let your mind wander off, falling asleep peacefully.
However, unlike you, Sunwoo lays awake. For the last several hours heâs been thinking about the changed dynamic, scared youâre going to wake up and change your mind. Regret this, regret him. An idea that he wishes to forget about. He gets his wish, you shifting in your sleep suddenly.
Sunwoo places a hand firmly around your thigh, his eyes wide, gasping as you continue to shift in your sleep. Not something that normally would have him fighting for his life but considering you were cockwarming him, he was struggling profusely. He considers the possibility of you being awake and messing with him, calling out your name, not getting a response in return.
âFuck,â he mumbles, the hand on your thigh moving to spread your ass. Sunwoo tells himself to go back to bed, pull out, ignore the throbbing in his dick but he canât. The way your snores rattle in his head, breathy faint moans here and there in between, the way you pushed back up against him; Sunwoo swore he was going to die. He tests the waters, pulling back before gently pushing back towards your direction watching himself push in and out of your pussy. Eyes rolled back, a shaky groan deep in his throat, Sunwoo is convinced heâs died and went to the next best thing. The way you clench around him is delicious, trying his best to not get caught up in the moment. It doesnât take very long however for Sunwoo to forget his own thoughts, fixated on how good you feel wrapped around him. Letting the hand on your thigh to travel down to wrap around the back of your knee, lifting your leg up so he can fuck you with better ease. Yes, he should be considering the likeliness of you waking up but he didnât take time to consider anything, lost in his own desires. He doesnât notice that youâve woken up, blinking the sleep from your eyes, moans growing louder realizing what was happening.
âWoo, wait, oh god.â you moan, turning your head in a failed attempt to look at him, tilting your head down in pleasure. Sunwoo at least becomes aware of you being awake, moving his free hand to wrap around your throat, bringing you closer to him so your lips are crashing together. Itâs hungry, messy, and wet. Not a single thought comes to mind as Sunwoo ruins you perfectly, moaning pathetically into his mouth, begging for him to continue. The all familiar feeling of heat builds in your abdomen, your nails digging into the skin of Sunwooâs leg. Itâs intense, indescribable, unable to properly breathe, between the kissing and choking. Your brain is fuzzy, losing all sense, allowing your body to move on instinct. Pushing back against Sunwoo as he thrusts deep into you the sound of skin hitting against skin fills out the bedroom. Breaking away from the kiss, you rest your forehead onto Sunwoo's, staring at his swollen lips, whimpering between your words.
âIâm going to cum. Feels so, so, so good, please let me cum.â
It seems Sunwoo ignored what you said, going to repeat yourself until he drops his hand off your throat, repositioning you so that youâre pinned down against the mattress. Two hands firmly wrapped on either side of your waist. Sunwooâs quick, deep thrusts make your eyes well up with tears, still trying to process the change in both position and pace. Your fingers grip your pillows until the knuckles are white, eyes rolled back into your head, each time your ass comes flush with his thighs knocking a string of moans from you. Sunwoo removes one hand off your waist to slide down your back, content with your arch, swearing as you feel him lean down to hold you in place by the back of your neck. Given his new position, each thrust into you is deeper than previously. It drives you mad, continuing your strings of rambling and pleads, teetering on the edge of an intense orgasm. It was becoming evident that Sunwoo wouldn't last much longer himself, his thighs starting to tremble tremendously, his groans elongated and deep.
âFuck, you feel so good, wrapped around me.â
Sunwoo barely manages to get his sentence out, replacing the hand around the back of your neck with the other, using his right hand to guide your hips. You're both close, fighting the orgasm that begged to release, something in you needing Sunwooâs permission to do so. Removing one hand off your pillow you reach for Sunwoo who notices, taking your arm and pinning it down behind your back instead. You whine, turning your head to the side unable to move properly under him. Taking everything given to you obediently. Although you were behaving your body was not, screaming at you to let go, to cum, needing that sweet release. So, in a desperate attempt, you beg Sunwoo. Hoping he will give you mercy this once.
âWoo, please let me cum. It hurts. So good, please? Please..â you trailed off, burying your face into a pillow. Embarrassed by your pleading that came out more of a scream. Sunwoo twitches, enjoying the way you pleaded to him, telling you to hold on a little longer, to cum with him. You obey, toes curling when his thrusts go from fast yet still strong to convulsing thighs, slowing down his thrusts.
âCum, fuck, cum with me, baby.â Sunwoo grunts, his hand dropping off your arm to lean forward, boxing you in between him and the bed. Your orgasm hits you hard, knocking all the air out of your lungs as you cum around Sunwoo feeling him break down simultaneously. Warmth covers the back of your thighs, your ass, barely coherent enough to catch the sound of Sunwoo cursing under his breath. You allow yourself to be manhandled, Sunwoo pressing small kisses on your face, apologizing for finishing not only in you but all over your lower body as well. His change in demeanor makes you laugh, pulling him closer to kiss him easier telling him you didnât particularly care what heâs done. Sunwoo smiles, proud of himself, your head on his lap, giggling when he spreads your legs open to stare at his mess. Cocky asshole.
âYou look pretty stuffed with my cum.â
You give him a look, laughing, kicking him away from you as you sit up to use the bathroom.
âYouâre so stupid.â You said matter of factly. Sunwoo surprises you by wrapping both his arms around you, yanking you back to him, attacking you with his lips.
âIâll show you stupid.â
âWhat does that even mean, Woo?â You questioned, in between him stealing kisses, his hands playing with the fat of your ass.
âYouâll figure it out soon enough.â He states confidentially, initiating a kiss that you're more than happy to reciprocate. Humming when Sunwooâs tongue slips alongside your own. Neither of you want to break away from the kiss until he pulls back first, his head pressed against yours, breath fanning your neck as he tries to regain his breathing.
âWant me to help clean you up?â
âI think if you follow me to the shower, itâll become counterintuitive, Woo. Maybe let me shower first.â You move off his lap, listening to him whine, saying you could save water if he shared the shower with you. Telling him to hush and wait for next time youâll happily share a shower with him then. Hearing that makes Sunwoo brighten up looking up at you in the cutest way possible.
âSo there is a next time? Good.â
With a shake of your head you grab clean clothes, wrapping a blanket around your body as you quietly open your bedroom door to sneak to the bathroom across the hall. A hand grabbing your wrist stops you in your tracks, spinning you around so that youâre pressed up against the bathroom door. You gasp, giggling as quietly as you could, asking Sunwoo what he was doing.
âStealing one more kiss before I head out. Donât think your brother would appreciate the possibility of catching us in bed together.â
The mention of your brother annoys you, groaning, telling Sunwoo to not ruin the moment. Giving him a final kiss you tell him goodnight. He reminds you to text him later before bed, which you already know you will, waving to him as he goes downstairs to leave.
Tonight felt unreal, like another one of your dreams, but you werenât upset by it either. Maybe you guys weren't the best of friends yet but thatâll come with time, sighing happily as you go into the bathroom to shower.
Getting out, you slip clean sheets back onto your bed, blushing when you remember just an hour prior you were underneath Sunwoo. That reminds you to text him, bidding him a simple good night. Turning your ringer off, you curl up onto your side, drifting off to sleep easier than usual.
âSunwoo, youâre going to rip this one too, with the way youâre being right now.â
pairing Âť the boyz kim sunwoo x fem!reader
trope/au Âť fwb!au, non-idol au
genre Âť suggestive!! with a hint of fluff, whipped (and wild) sunwoo
word count; estimated reading time Âť 1112; ~5 mins
warnings (lmk if i missed anything!) Âť pda (quite a lot of it: kissing, making out etc), public suggestive touching, allusions to s*x, allusions to dom/sub dynamics, pet names...? (brat), sunwoo implied to be physically bigger than reader
navi/masterlist!! đ¤ the boyz masterlist đ¤ ateez song mingi ver. đ¤ nct na jaemin ver.
ofc i couldnt' leave sunwoo out of this mix!!
Thereâs always a fluttering feeling when shopping with Kim Sunwoo; even though this is the first time you're shopping with him. You and Sunwoo arenât friends, and you're not dating either. Dancing in the middle of the line becomes really exhilarating over time. After he leaves kisses all over your skin and your pretty sounds trapped in the four walls securely, Sunwoo coaxes you for more, and takes care of you to a whole other level.Â
For sure, the aftercare would be on par with the side of him that only you properly knew. He would caress your skin with gentle swipes on the places that he had before with a different force. His lips would occasionally replace his fingertips, lulling you into deep rest for the rest of the night. Sunwooâs frame would be stuck onto you for the rest of the night, the crook of your neck tickled with his exhales and snores.
The next day, Sunwoo wouldnât leave your side just yet. He would also take you out the day after, or if busy, as soon as he could. Usually, it's just to grab a drink or have brunch. But this time, it's non-negotiable from the way he treated your favourite top last night. The poor boy pouts that the crease between your eyebrows has never truly faded since last night. He tries to reason with you, saying that he would buy multiple different ones to convey how apologetic his drive was last night, but he knew it was all in vain. Even though the person who gave your favourite top was no one but Sunwoo himself, you had a special attachment to it as the memories crept up and made your cheeks heat.
âIâm sorry,â Sunwoo repeats once again. His arms secure your figure to him, pushing your back to his chest. Light kisses land on the side of your head, and you playfully roll your eyes at the overused phrase in the last twenty-four hours. âHow long are you going to be mad at me?â
You could tell that the pout is still plastered on his lips, but you had no intention of letting it leave. Youâre no longer mad at him; in fact, you were never really mad. Yes, you were upset because the top was so pretty and fit any occasion, but you knew that he didnât do it on purpose, and last night was divine in more ways than one. You continue to ignore his presence, only crossing your arms across your chest as you keep focus on the changing numbers on the top of the elevator.Â
When youâre faced with the correct floor, you step out with Sunwoo stumbling behind you. He still follows closely behind you, complimenting your choices for most, whilst twisting a dissatisfied look for others. There were occasions when you would slip a few chuckles at his comments, and Sunwoo swept your figure to his arms, pulling you into a kiss.
âTook you a while,â you mumble against his lips.
An amused eyebrow rises from the boy. âIf you wanted me to kiss you a long time ago, you couldâve just not acted like a brat.â
Oh, he did not just say that in public. Sunwoo knows the effect that the nickname had on you, and the bustling environment only made adrenaline rush through your veins even more. If it wasnât for his sturdy grip, you wouldâve probably been kneeling on the floor, hands all over his lower body.
As a retaliation, your palm hits his chest, and you escape from his warmth to aimlessly walk around the rest of the clothing racks. Youâre so flustered by the looming presence behind you that you started to take random clothes that you knew you would never buy. Unfortunately, Sunwooâs effect on you is so obvious that he couldnât help but push your buttons even more; literally.Â
Itâs only when you stop at a wall away from the majority of the crowd that Sunwoo becomes more daring. Your attempt to draw a breath stops halfway when his palm follows the lines from behind your waist to the front. His index finger follows his thumb under his clothes, which you only realise you had on. The bottom button that secures your skin from the public is no more, followed by the button on top of it. The need to suppress a moan fills your mind, but you couldnât help but at least groan and instinctively step backwards towards him. Your hips push against his own, and you wrap your hand around his wrist that continues their ministrations up your chest.
âStay still,â he rasps beside your ear. A finger hooks itself under the underband of your bra, and you gasp at his attempt to let your chest free in the open space. âShould I do it?â
Youâre left breathless, tilting your head down low and seeing Sunwooâs palm against your increasingly heating skin. You left his question hanging, because in this dynamic between you and him, he has full control within the boundaries that you consented to. He stays still, taking in your beauty below him. A nose nudges against the side of your neck, and it doesnât take you long to realise the passionate pressure along with occasional swipes to soothe your skin.
You thought you reached your limit some time ago, but you knew you finally reached it when he turned you around and claimed your lips properly. His hand extends to grab a random top. As if he had it all planned out, with all the restraints he has left, he pulls you into the closest fitting room, where, by luck, had no workers supervising. The stall made for one became too small with both of you inside, but it didnât stop how his shirt hit the floor and the way his skin glistened with the orange light of the room.Â
âI took this in the moment, but I think it would fit you well.â Sunwoo hovers the new top in front of your body, smirking and licking his bottom lip at the sight. The rest of the fabric covering your body is ripped, and he dresses you in the still tagged fabric.
He makes himself comfortable on the stool in the corner of the room before pulling you to straddle his lap. âSunwoo, youâre going to rip this one too, with the way youâre being right now.â
âHm, Iâll just buy it then,â he hums uninterestingly, trying to contain his entire body from not rushing anything with you. âAnd I guess Iâll just have to buy a new one for you to change and me to rip then.â
navi/masterlist!! đ¤ the boyz masterlist đ¤ ateez song mingi ver. đ¤ nct na jaemin ver.
join the taglist here Âť @k-films @kflixnet @starlit-network @kstrucknet @blossomnet @haneul-and-clouds @sunlightwoo @dearly-somber @cuppasunu
Summary: Sunwooâs forgetfulness to get his heat blockers lead to this? Well, maybe he wouldnât mind being so forgetful again~ Especially if you, his coworker that he has a huge crush on, is willing to take care of him in any way he needs.Â
Smut, PWOP (see Aching for You for plot), Fluff?, Hybrid au (w/shifting capabilities), Coworkers to Lovers au
If you are a minor, please do not read/engage with this post. This is an 18+ work.
Warnings: Raccoon Hybrid! Sunwoo in Heat/Rut (making him very needy), a Major Scent kink (due to him being part raccoon), Protected -> Unprotected sex (pls practice safe sex), Multiple rounds, Slightly messy sex, Switch! Sunwoo & Switch! Reader, Whiny/Needy! Sunwoo, Begging (r! receiving), Overstimulation leading to tears (m! receiving), Scratching behind/Touching/Tugging on Sunwooâs raccoon ears, Praise (m! receiving), Clit Stimulation (r! receiving), Endless orgasms (m! needing & receiving), Some marking & biting (r! receiving), Talks of Sunwoo wanting to eat you out badly but not being able to due to his heat/rut, Use of petnames: Woo and Baby *And if I missed anything lmk*
Word count:Â 2,974
Raccoon Hybrid! Sunwoo X Afab! Reader
[A/n: Happily tagging @helionepho in this part two/continuation! I hope you enjoy this continuation as much as I enjoyed writing it! Tbh I had already planned to make this, but it took me a lot longer than I expected. But Iâm so happy about how well received the last one was. Thank you, guys, so much!]
A continuation of Aching for You (pls read this first!)Â
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He asks as you pull away from his soft plush lips, âFuck, please, I need you⌠Please say I can have you?â You nod as you take him by his clean hand to lead him to his bed. His eyes are soft as he looks over you, âAre you sure? Iâm not sure once it resurges if Iâll be able to stop.â You brush his hair out of his eyes, âYeah, Iâm sure. I like you Sunwoo, a lot. This is a normal part of your life. I can take it.â He hums and he gently pushes you against his bed. His lips capture yours again before he tells you, âI like you a lot too. Iâm not silly for just anyone.â You grin, âGood.â Your lips meet his again, and your tongue grazes his bottom lip. He opens his mouth, and his tongue moves over yours. Neither of you were fighting for dominance, you were both just enjoying the tango.Â
He throws off his soiled hoodie, and your eyes rake over him, eagerly taking in the new sights. His ears twitch bashfully as he lets out a nervous laugh before he asks, âLike what you see, sweetheart?â You bite your lip and nod, and he kisses you again. His hands take their time unbuttoning your soiled blouse before he lets out a groan, âYouâre so beautifulâŚâ You blush and whisper a small âthank youâ as he continues undressing both of you, taking his sweet time. It isnât until youâre fully naked and heâs kissing his way down your neck that you start to feel his body heat up again. Normally, in any other situation heâd be eating you out and enjoying making you scream for him from his tongue alone. But when his mind was being overloaded with the need to mate and hit his high repeatedly⌠He couldnât and it was driving him mad. You looked like divinity, and he couldnât even try a taste without needing to be inside of you first. He lets out a soft groan of defeat against your collarbone before he tells you softly as his rut starts to take over his mind, âIâm sorry Iâd uh- Iâd usually take care of you before I- and prep you- but-â You put your hand on his chest causing him to look up at you with sad eyes, his soft ears flat against his hair, as you tell him, âI promise I donât mind. There will be plenty more times for that.â He groans as his ears instantly perk up because youâre implying there will be a next time.
In his barely functioning mind, he remembers to reach over in his bedside drawer and grab a condom. He shakily rolls it over himself after ripping the package open with his teeth. His hips buck into his hand, and he lets out a loud groan. You watch as his striped tail flicks wildly behind him as he gets lost in the sensation. He bites his lip as he looks you over again, âFuck, baby, la-last chanceâŚâ You shake your head, refusing to leave. He needed your help, and you wanted him just as bad. You reach around his shoulders and pull him close to you again, âPlease just fuck me, alreadyâŚâ He groans and his covered tip drags over your entrance. You shudder as he finally pushes inside of you. Usually, youâd need some kind of prep but with the little show he gave you a little bit ago, you were soaked beyond belief. You spread your legs a little wider to accommodate him better as he buries himself deeply inside of you, when he bottoms out, you both let out a loud groan.Â
He rests on his elbows above you and brings you in for a kiss as he starts moving inside of you. The reality of being inside of you, is beyond what he ever imagined. It was heavenly. Your lips move along his as he slowly increases his pace. When you part to let out a moan, a string of saliva connects you two and you both grin as it breaks. He moves his face from yours to bury his nose back into your collar like he had done before. The saccharine sweet smell of berries overtakes his senses, and he lets out a loud groan, pounding into you faster. Your sweet scent was perfectly overwhelming, and he couldnât get enough of it. You reach your hand up to run your fingers in his hair to soothe him as he ruts faster into you, calmly stroking his silky hair as he ruts his hips desperately inside of you. Your hand bumps into his soft ears and you ask softly, âCan I pet your ears?â And he groans, âPlease.â Your hand finally touches his soft ear, and it feels so fuzzy between your fingers. You canât resist bringing your other hand to his opposite ear to feel the soft fuzz. And when you scratch behind them, he lets out a loud groan and gives you a particularly hard thrust, making you moan loudly. You quickly realize why he never let you touch them before, they were sensitive. And you grin as you use it to your advantage. You scratch and play with them, making him groan into your shoulder as he inhales your heavenly scent. You were too much for him. And he comes apart for you too quickly and it has him grumbling because he never finishes this fast. But his skin never cools down so he continues rutting into you working himself to another orgasm without a second thought.Â
You can hear him cursing against your shoulder, and you worry so you pull your hands back to see whatâs wrong, not understanding that him cumming before you was why he was grumbling. And he lets out a dissatisfied noise. You resist giggling about how cute his antics are even in the heat of the moment before you quickly move your hands back to where they were. You rub his fuzzy ears, taking in how nice they feel between your fingers. They are as soft as they are sensitive, and you canât resist giving them a little tug which causes him to let out a loud whine. And you smirk as you keep playing with them. The more you touch them, the faster his thrusts grow, and you canât help but moan as he starts working you up to your orgasm. You gasp as you feel his hand sneak between your bodies, dancing along your sides before his fingers find their way to your clit. Your eyes go wide as he fingers brush against it, before he starts rubbing it circles. You let out a loud moan as you tug on his ears, making him groan loudly.Â
He nuzzles his nose into your collar, inhaling deeply, âF-fuck you smell so good, how⌠how am I ever supposed to get enough?â You whine, âThen donâtâŚâ He groans as he sniffs you, and his hips start stuttering again. His fingers start moving your clit in harsh fast circles, trying to bring you to an orgasm at the same time. And he starts whining, âPlea-please cum with me⌠Please.â You bury your head into his shoulder as you start growing even closer to the edge. You feel tears in your shoulder as Sunwoo cries out, âI⌠I uh⌠Oh my god, Iâm going to cum.â Your hand finds his unoccupied hand, and you grip it in yours as Sunwooâs movements become more erratic. You whisper, âIâm almost thereâŚâ He groans, âFuckâŚâ He holds out for another minute as his cock twitches inside of you before he falls over the edge, spilling into his condom again. Your orgasm comes over in you waves as Sunwoo focuses on rubbing faster circles. You let out a loud cry as your walls convulse around his cock. He cries out into your shoulder as your walls clench around him causing him to whine from the overstimulation.Â
When you finally come down from your high, you feel how cool his skin has gotten. And you pout a bit; your personal furnace is cooling off and itâs too cold in his apartment. He immediately senses your goosebumps, âAhh⌠sorry.â He apologizes and pulls the comforter over the two of you before he slowly pulls out of you. He ties up the condom and tosses it into his trashcan before he cuddles back into your shoulder. You two donât talk much, just bask in the moment. Until you feel the heat starting to emit from him again. You canât help the smile that makes its way onto your lips at the thought of getting fucked by him again. And he pouts, âFuck, I was going to eat you out before it took over againâŚâ You laugh before kissing his cheek, âAgain, youâll have time for that later, I promise.â His eyes are watery as he asks, âYou genuinely mean that? Not just saying that because Iâm about to lose my mind again?â You grab his face between your hands and pull him to you, âGenuinely. I like you a lot, Iâm not just saying that to appease your inner raccoon.â He gives you the biggest smile as you bring him in for a kiss.
You watch as his eyes grow darker, before he has to grab another condom out of his drawer, âWhen⌠when this is over, Iâm going to treat you to the best dinner out.â You smirk as you pull him to you, âIâll hold you to that, Woo.â His hips buck at the mention of a new nickname, âA-a nickname?â You hum, âYou like that?â He nods quickly, his eyes tightly clenching, âI really do.â You smirk grows wider, âFuck me good, Woo.â He whines as he rolls the new condom over him quickly over his painfully hard length desperately bucking into it before he pushes inside of you. He lets out a soft sigh as he bottoms out before he starts fucking into you again.Â
The blanket falls from his shoulders as he pounds into you and your legs wrap around his waist to keep him close to you. The heat of his skin feels so delicious against the cold air that you forget why you were even cold to begin with. He falls towards you again, his hands bearing his weight above you as he starts licking over your lips before he kisses you deeply. His lips chase after yours as he fucks into you. He feels so warm sinking into you that you moan louder and louder for him as he chases another orgasm. He feels perfect inside of you; you canât get enough of the sensation as his thrusts grow faster. You canât help but play with his ears again, knowing how sensitive they are, wanting to bring him the most pleasure possible. And he whines, âFu⌠Fuck not again.â He groans as he cums early again. He groans, âThis has got to be a new record.â You giggle and he starts rutting his hips harder into you, immediately chasing another orgasm.Â
His striped tail flicks over your leg a couple times which makes you giggle, itâs so soft that it tickles your skin. It slinks around your leg and wraps around it. He trails kisses down your jaw before he settles back into your collar, to sniff and mark you up. His teeth leave small bite marks as he tries to leave pretty marks along your skin, and you let out little whines with every bite he leaves until his nose plants itself firmly against your neck. And he lets out a loud groan, and you feel his hips stutter inside of you again. âF-fuck⌠Sorry⌠I canât- I have toâŚâ You shake your head; he was worrying too much about satisfying you that he forgot you were here to help him not the other way around. And you coo at him, âItâs okay, baby, itâs okay.â He lets out an even louder groan. You feel his tail wrap around your leg tighter, drawing you closer to him as his hips start rutting into you again. You smell and feel so good to him, itâs like heâs ascending. This is probably what salvation feels like he believes. Fuck, he needs you in ways that his mind canât physically comprehend right now.Â
You see how his hands shake at your sides and realize he wonât be able to touch you with the state heâs in. So, your fingers snake their way down. You let out a soft gasp as your fingers finally touch your clit, âOh my godâŚâ You bury your face into Sunwooâs shoulder as you start working yourself up while his thrusts grow more erratic. You feel teardrops hit your shoulder and you start to realize heâs overstimulating himself. âOh, baby, please, it's okay. If you need to stop-â He whines, âI canât⌠I canât- I have to- I need to cum- Please.â Your opposite hand makes its way back into his hair, and you start running your hands through it, trying to calm him down as he grows more and more desperate to release but his body isnât letting him have that freedom. He cries, âIâm so close⌠but⌠I-â You coo at him, telling him sweet nothings, âItâs okay, youâre doing good. Fuck, youâre doing so good for meâŚâ Your fingers start moving against your clit faster the whiner he gets, itâs so hot to you.
You turn your face to whisper in his ear sweet nothings about how good heâs being for you. Which makes him whine more before he desperately tells you, âI canât cum, oh my god⌠I- help- please⌠Please can I cum? Please- Iâm-â He starts begging you, babbling into your shoulder for a release, hoping his body would listen if you told him to cum inside of you. You scratch him behind his ears as you softly tell him, âItâs more than okay, you can cum. Fill me up.â You whisper into his ear, âBe a good boy, Sunwoo, and fill me up with your cum.â He groans as his orgasm finally hits him and has him seeing stars. His intense orgasm triggers your own, your walls convulse and shake around him as his cock twitches within you.Â
He pants into your ear as his arms finally give out from above you and he lays his whole-body weight on top of you. He murmurs out a small apology, and you coo at him, âYou did so good for me, Woo⌠Itâs okay. I promise.â You stroke his hair and kiss his forehead, trying to calm him down from the intense orgasm he just had. His striped tail that was wrapped tightly around you, slowly loosens and tickles you again, which makes you laugh. Causing Sunwoo to whimper from the sensation, âYouâre gonna make me cum again.â You hold back your giggles as you pull him into a kiss. And thatâs when you notice his body heat still hasnât cooled down. Your eyes go wide as his hips start rocking into yours on autopilot. Heâs halfway gone, and his body still craves another orgasm. He doesnât even have the energy to change the condom he was wearing, as his cum spills from the condom and onto his black sheets. You couldnât care less if he came inside of you at this point. You feel his cum spilling over you and under your thighs as he continues moving inside of you. He makes a mess of you as his hips continue rutting into yours. When he cums again, you feel him let out a soft sigh, finally relieving his inner raccoon. He pulls out and tosses the useless condom.Â
His eyes are soft and wide as he realizes what he did. And he apologizes with his ears flat against his hair, âIâm so sorry.â You shake your head, âItâs okay, I mean it. You were in the heat of the moment. Itâs okay.â You kiss his jaw gently, trying to coax him from tears. And you tell him, âNext wave⌠I want to feel you cum inside of me.â His eyes are wide as he blinks at you, âYou want me to fuck you raw!?â You giggle as you pull his face towards you, âYes⌠I want to feel every bit of you.â He groans, âFuck, youâre perfect.â He shakes his head, âThis is insane. I canât believe youâŚâ He kisses you deeply before he asks just to be sure, âYou positive?â You give him your best puppy dog eyes as you whine, âPlease.â And he lets out a growl, âOh, youâre asking for it, baby.â He nips your bottom lip as he makes out with you. He tells you against your lips, âThis time⌠Youâre gonna cum first, Iâm determined.â You laugh, âItâs okay if I donât. This is all about you⌠Iâm helping you through your rut, not the other way around.â He shakes his head, pulling away from you as you feel his skin starting to heat up again, âI donât care, you deserve it.â You grin, âHave it your way then~â And he brings you in for another kiss, âI will.â
Needless to say, when heâs cooled down again, you called off the rest of the week too. Reporting that you caught the same sickness that Sunwoo had. And that you didnât want to risk infecting the rest of the office. You quickly hang up as Sunwoo rolls his hips into yours again. He drags his plush lips against yours as he tells you, âFuck, I donât even think a week of being inside of you will be long enough for me.â You laugh before he kisses you again, and his striped tail wraps securely around your leg.
pairing : fwb!sunwoo x fem!reader (featuring nct's haechan)
genre : fluff + smut
warnings : NOT PROOFREAD. MINORS DO NOT INTERACT. threesome. mean dom! sunwoo x sub!reader. mean dom sunwoo has a few dark thoughts that scream 'needs therapy!' but yk. he could be a lot meaner in all fairness. haechan sounds so down bad in here. sweet dom vibes but not necessarily a dom or a sub. worshipper!haechan. soft!haechan.
summary : sunwoo invites a very special guest to your college experience.
taglist : @matchahyuck @jaerisdiction
word count : 4.9k
the college experience masterlist
It shouldnât matter.Â
They say it shouldnât matter. Â
But thatâs advice Kim Sunwoo was never going to take. He knew when he first saw you that he was going to date you. Date the shit out of you. But this was college and every Tom, Dick and Harry was telling him to fuck anything that moved.Â
Five each.Â
Thatâs the âCollege Experienceâ shit that has been laid on every single newcomer to this shitty university. Bullshit spiel that Kevin Moon and every other STI induced horn dog had spread.Â
He had fucked three so far, you included. You for fun. You for keeping. The other twoâŚThey were beautiful, pretty, handsome. Each to their own. But to him, they were a means to an end and it helped your sex life.Â
You, in turn had also fucked three. Him also included. He knew who the others were too. If only Death Note were real.Â
Kim Jiwoong. Had sex with you before Sunwoo even touched you, so Sunwooâs hatred of him felt a little too personal. But, Kim Jiwoong doesnât know what Sunwoo knows. Where to touch you. How to touch you. What would have your thighs robbing the breath from his lungs when his mouth sucks on your clit. How cock drunk you are the week after your period. How risky you get. How dangerous. And heâs not gonna know- Ever.Â
Kim Mingyu. The fucking senior citizen. Heâs heard about him in the corridors. âHeâs so fucking hotâŚthose arms! Heâs so sweet. Heâs so fucking funny. Literally perfect.â Sunwooâs heard it all. Sunwooâs felt it. Seen it with his own eyes. Your eyes had flashed and all of a sudden Sunwooâs body was contorted into a new position and his eyes had been the ones rolling back. In a weird way, he wanted to thank Kim Mingyu, because he is the reason he got off in the way he did that night. But Sunwoo also wanted to hurt him. Hurt him so severely that fucker was no longer handsome. He manifested the shit. Although, he swears the guy gets more handsome as time goes by.Â
âHow bout a threesome?â Your voice is sweet and it almost distracts him from the bombshell you had just dropped.Â
The fingers playing with your hair stops and his whole body stiffens. Your hand drops to his stomach, squeezing slightly at a bit of muscle to comfort him before you feel his body loosen again.Â
You feel his throat as he swallows, his whisper hushed, âWith who?âÂ
âI donât mindâŚâ You shake your head, âYou. I want you there.âÂ
He makes a sound of agreement before sweetly kissing the start of your jawline and rising from the bed.Â
His body, a mirror image to the brick wall of indifference that flattened along the smooth skin of his face.Â
âWe d- we donât have to,â You stutter, words jumbled as his eyes flicker to hold eye contact. He lets you blubber away, nerves stewing on your tongue, âIf you hate itâŚjust tell me.âÂ
Kim Sunwoo shakes his head, his thumb and finger holding your chin, âNah. You want it?âÂ
You nod, throat exposed and head tilted back. His eyes dance across the planes of your face, down the trail of your throat and at the pool of your chest.Â
His eyes soften. Incredibly so. And it makes your heart feel gooey and good and loved.Â
âThen I want it too,â He admits before he leans in to kiss you. Heâs slow, letting his fingers trickle down to your breasts as his mouth kisses yours. He deeply inhales as he surges into your kiss, like heâs desperate for you. His fingertips digging dimples into the skin of your jaw.Â
Thereâs no fight. Your mouth opens and his tongue is with yours. The heat between your bodies drives you to scrunch the fabric of his shirt to pull him closer and closer.Â
You pull away, bashful and twiddly, looking away from him.Â
âYouâre shy today,â He comments. You donât have the guts to look at him again. Not when heâs confronting you like this. With his tone all soft and tingly.Â
Itâs the reason why it happened in the first place.Â
âDo you want to talk about it or forget about it?â He licks his lips.Â
â.. I donât know.âÂ
He pauses, âFor now weâll forget about it. For now. Weâll blame the heat of the moment. But eventually Iâd like to talk about it. Okay?âÂ
âOkay.âÂ
The corner of his mouth lifts, muttering, âWhat a sweetheart,â as he takes your mouth for his again, slotting himself on top of you. His hips teasingly rolling and coaxing your legs open for him.Â
His hand, warm and strong grasps at the inside of your thigh, pushing them further. You mewl slightly at the feeling of lush that runs through you. Pleasure like silken sheets all over your body.Â
Sunwoo nips at your bottom lip, loving the way your tongue immediately tends to soothe against his ministrations.Â
Pulling slightly away, his head dips as he suckles at the skin of your thigh, his thumb creating dents in which his mouth follows to fill.Â
Your fingers scratch into the thick of his hair, mouth open in anticipation as his mouth slowly confronts the hearty ache of your navel. You lick your lips in anticipation as his mouth slightly suckles at your clit through the fabric, his long and thin fingers twisting at the straps. With your underwear and his fingers in a knot, he slides it off your body, revealing your wet and now hungry core.Â
He eyes your pussy with a wet look, mouth already parched and yet drooling with desire to go to town and drag you to heaven himself. Your fingers only tighten in his hair at the response.Â
He always makes you feel so confident in yourself. Pretty. Beautiful. The type of girl to wine and dine.Â
Sunwoo pushes forward in between your thighs, hand covering the base of your navel to pull the skin tighter, revealing the sensitive bud that he all but devours. Your hips stutter at the feeling of his mouth on you, sounds already escaping from your mouth.Â
Your brain feels like it malfunctions; how to stop moaning like this? Can the human body truly contort and arch in this way? is it possible to have oral sex for 24 hours?Â
Itâs like static. Your body is erratic as it squirms underneath him, the whole of you victim to his wishes and his demands. To his hands that hold you. To his mouth that you could write songs to. To him that wants this purely because you do.Â
Itâs all too much and youâre going to come.Â
Your legs tighten around his head as your climax washes over you, drawing out your heaving breaths and heated cheeks.Â
Sunwoo pulls away from your core, a cocky smirk rightly showing on his face and his tongue prodding into the corner of his mouth, no doubt tasting yourself on his lips. He winks before his hands reach for his phone in his jean pockets.Â
âHey.âÂ
While heâs on the phone you check for yours, lifting his duvet and the like in hopes it will reveal your underwear he had misplaced in the âthroes of desire.âÂ
He grins shortly, bending down to retrieve your underwear before he returns to his phone call, âYupâŚ.No, youâve got to use the longer cordâŚYes, Iâll be there.âÂ
âIâm sorry I got to go,â Sunwoo apologises to you, âThereâs chocolate in the fridge.. Itâs my roommates but go crazy, he wonât care.âÂ
Youâre not taking any chances.Â
The boy kisses you on the mouth, slowly and sweetly, as if he didnât just make you come a minute ago, âIâll let him know,â he smiles, âall about your little crush on him.âÂ
Your eyebrows furrow as you watch his smug demeanour walk away.Â
Him?Â
âWho?â Â
Sunwoo only smiles secretively before backing away through the door, leaving you with your own thoughts.Â
The whole week all Sunwoo seems to do is tease you. His conversations with men all under your watchful eye. His lip quirked in the most tempting of smirks and a stray finger trailing down his chin, challenging you to confront him.Â
But all you can do is watch him in anticipation.Â
And itâs a countdown with no real timer, because as days continue to pass and the possibilities reach an infinite level, you realise that you wonât win. Not in this instance and you will find out when you find outâŚ
You cheer with your girls, purple strobe lights surrounding the five of you. Drunken celebrations and conversations are never short. You expect to see Kevin sometime if he can make it, but you know heâs got a couple of exams left.Â
Itâs when you see Sunwoo, wolfish tilt to his lips, and his hair is slicked with gel, your heart beating all the way in your core. Belatedly, you take notice of his arm around another boy and your world almost stops.Â
Because you know exactly who it is.Â
Standing there, with a candid sort of smile, eyes searching around the party before finding your stare. The boy smiles, and it has your heart racing. His designer oversized t-shirt and matching pants. The reddish tint in his caramel coloured hair.Â
You think youâre a little in love with him. Actually.Â
You look at Sunwoo, who looks like he really wants to laugh and Haechan stands there, a little shyly but youâre endeared by his movements. To cover his embarrassment he brings his wrist to his lips, the manoeuvre tugging at them the way you now want to do with your mouth.Â
âI told you, baby,â Sunwoo grins, âYouâll love him.âÂ
You hum, grabbing at Haechan like heâs your new boyfriend youâre desperate to show off and Sunwoo follows after you with a little laugh.Â
âHey!â You hear Kevin yell as you pass but youâre much too focused on whatâs about to happen that you forget all about your older friend and miss the way in which Sunwoo rubs it in.Â
âSorry Kev, I didnât think to ask you if you wanted to join,â Sunwoo flutters his eyes in fake sympathy before backing up into the two of you, âMaybe next time?âÂ
Yeah right.Â
Like thatâll ever happen.Â
And judging by the seething Kevin is doing, he knows just as well as Sunwoo does. The smirk drops from Sunwooâs face as he turns the corner,Â
Youâre a bit further than him, and Sunwoo feels his gaze heat at the path you lay out for him to follow. And like heâs born for it, he follows you. His own gospel out in front of him.Â
And as he passes through the entry, youâve wrapped an arm around his neck, pulling him into a kiss that has him gasping. If he were carrying anything, he wouldâve dropped it. He feels his eyes flutter at the way you kiss him wholeheartedly.Â
His arms slide down, taking the opportunity to grip at your waist with a tight squeeze before wrapping your leg around his waist. He smiles into the kiss, feeling your intake of breath as you twitch at the feeling of his growing erection on the entirety of your pussy.Â
âMm,â You push him away from you, mouths separating with a sticky click of your lips, âWait-âÂ
Sunwooâs eyes narrow slightly as you turn your head to look at Haechan, before following your line of focus slowly. Haechan stands there, looking both relaxed and unsure.Â
Haechanâs eyes widen at the attention.Â
âAre you just gonna stand there?â Sunwoo scoffs, to which he is quickly punished by a swift smack of your palm against his side.Â
Haechanâs gobsmacked expression doesnât last long, his eyebrow raises in challenge, tongue in his cheek as he approaches the two of you. His golden skin alight by the different coloured beams in the room. A walking rave angel.Â
One of Haechanâs palms finds your hip whilst the other slides to the back of your neck, the metal of his ring cold against the heat of your arousal brought on by the kiss he brings you into.Â
His kisses are different to Sunwooâs - not as love filled or as affectionate, but someone who has every intention to take care of you. Better, if he dares to.Â
And does he dare.Â
Whilst your eyes are closed, his are open, staring down Sunwoo with a naughty smirk all before his eyes dramatically flutter shut. The growth of his own erection showing heâs just as affected by you as Sunwoo is.Â
Sunwooâs not bothered by it. Not really. Haechan can have his fun with you. Take his time with you. But Sunwoo will always prevail in the end, itâs just in his nature.Â
Not to be the best fuck in town, no- Not at all! No, Sunwoo will prevail when itâs you involved. And heâll make sure everyone knows it. Even this guy that you have a passing crush on.Â
You donât even flinch when you feel the press of Sunwooâs front against your back, used to the feeling of rigid heat that automatically emits from the two of you. You separate from Haechan, bending your neck backwards to kiss Sunwoo fully on the lips, your throat exposed.Â
Haechan doesnât so much as whine, instead he lets his lips draw across his new canvas, wondering what colours the hickies he makes across your throat could conjure. You moan into Sunwooâs mouth at the feeling, your leg hitching over Haechanâs hip, feeling the indent of his fingers into the meat of your thighs, a mess underneath the fabric and between your legs.Â
Sunwooâs hands cup your tits from behind, smiling at the confident peaks of your nipples. Loathing, when he sees the claw marks you indent into Haechanâs forearms. Suffering when Haechan groans into your throat.Â
Haechan moves first, fingers dragging down the length of your skin, gripping at your waist, a fiery lick of success causing mayhem in his eyes as you pull away from Sunwooâs lips because of his teasing.Â
âHaechan,â You moan, your lips swollen.Â
âSsh,â The boy hushes you, heâs quiet but goading, watching to see if the older one will take charge, âSunwoo might get jealous.âÂ
And jealous he is.Â
Sunwoo has his tongue in his cheek, huff frozen on his face listening to you breathlessly murmur Haechanâs name like heâs some nameless cuck. Haechanâs hands all over your throat.Â
âGet on the bedâŚâÂ
Itâs a whisper, but that doesnât excuse you.Â
And it certainly doesnât excuse you when you look at Haechan for instructions, as if you canât bear to look anywhere else. And it doesnât help that Haechanâs eyes have taken on a sultry haze at your disobedience.Â
Sunwooâs eyes flash as he slightly bends, palm gripping at the back of your neck as he leans down, his mouth brushing the strands of your hair and his breath tickling at the skin of your neck, âI wonât ask again. Get on the bed.âÂ
He lets you go with a slight push of his hand, watching as you stumble over the bed.Â
He loves the way your eyes flash towards him in warning, only to flinch at the look on his face. Itâs a look youâre not necessarily familiar with - the cruelty lining his eyes is not a trait that Sunwoo has when it comes to you. His hands find the bend of your knee and with a bruising grip scoots you forward until you're closer to the headboard.Â
A dark, dark part of him wants to fuck you so hard, you split the wood with your head.Â
âYou joining in or are you fine playing voyeur?â Sunwoo spits at Haechan, the latter raising his hands in faux bewilderment.Â
âAnd here I was told that you werenât the bossy type,â Haechan sneers with the corner of his lip flicking upwards before he makes his way in front of you.Â
You look at him with googly eyes, the logical side of your brain erased and replaced with the type of horny that burns through your core and aching to be relieved.Â
âArenât you a sight for sore eyes? Fuck,â Haechan groans with a finger underneath your chin.Â
But youâre zoning in on the feeling of Sunwooâs hands gripping at your ass over your clothes, hand teasing at the inner foldings and brushing against the wetness that sticks to the fabric.Â
âCan I fuck her first?âÂ
âYou call that a question?â Sunwoo raises an eyebrow, and Haechan sighs at his attitude, up until he feels your hands fumble with the drawstring of his pants.Â
Heâs slightly smaller than Sunwoo, but heâs girthier and you almost drool when his erection hits his stomach. Haechanâs eyes light up as your gaze softens.Â
âNevermind,â Haechan murmurs.Â
You inhale, looking up to meet his eyes, âAre you a pusher?âÂ
Haechan smirks, âCome find out.âÂ
Sunwoo rolls his eyes, his hands rough as he pulls your underwear down, exposing your pussy towards him and catching you off guard with a punishing smack to your ass.Â
You turn towards him.Â
He sneers, âYeah, Iâm still here.âÂ
Before you can even think of angering him with some smart ass response he doesnât wanna hear, he drags his fingers down your exposed slit, smirking at the hitch in your breath and the way his digits are coated with your wet arousal.Â
âYou donât even realise what youâre doing,â He comments, watching as you arch your back slightly, body leaning into his touch unconsciously as you palm Haechanâs crotch, âIâm not even here to you.âÂ
And something in him must be evil, because it lurks and curls within his fingers and stains them bloodthirsty when he sees the moment you take Haechan in your mouth, eyes locked on each other as you take him deeper, swirling your tongue on the head of his cock.Â
âFuck,â He hears the heated curse escape Haechanâs mouth.Â
He rolls his eyes as he manoeuvres his body, catching you by surprise as his mouth meets your core. You yelp around Haechanâs cock, focus leaving you as Sunwoo works his magic with his mouth, his tongue, his fingers. All working together in an attempt to steal you back.Â
Sunwoo is messy, his drool and your wetness coating his lips at a rabid rate, the sheer amount creating a crude puddle underneath you. At your attempt to clench around his lips, he pulls away, freeing himself from the constraints of his pants.Â
Sunwooâs cock is hot and angry as he lathers his tip with his spit and your juices, his eyes rolling back at the sensation of your puffy pussy, all before he slips inside of you. Devouring every second of the initial drag with the hottest moan youâve ever heard escape his lips.Â
You moan back, tempting him, spurring him to continue making the sounds you want to hear. Eager to do anything to hear them.Â
Sunwoo grips at your ass, the flesh like putty in his fingers, practically begging him to make finger dents in the skin until they bruise. And he does, but itâs not totally intentional.
âYou feel so fucking good,â Sunwoo moans, thrusting his hips forward in order to feel your walls clench and unclench around him, âAh.âÂ
You feel his nails dig into your skin as he attempts to grip at something, and the pain rushes straight to your pussy, âOw-âÂ
âYouâre such a fucking pain slut,â Sunwoo sneers, hands running up your spine to thread through your hair, pulling it back in order to meet his thrusts which ample up in speed and force, âAttention seeking. As if I donât give you enough.âÂ
His hips thrust back and forth, hard and fast, with a forceful need to fill you up with his come.Â
From this angle you canât stop moaning, Sunwooâs ministrations a hard contrast to the soft affectionate fingers tracing each feature of your face. Haechanâs eyes are on you, soft and entranced by the drool dripping out of your mouth and the way thereâs tears in your eyes.
His mouth slowly opens unconsciously, watching as a particular thrust has you convulsing, the pleasure blooming across your face.Â
The crude sounds of your bodies slapping together, Sunwoo smacking the flesh and grabbing at your tits, the feeling of you completely dripping all over Sunwooâs thighs make him a mad man. It encourages him to go even harder, even faster. Oxygen completely leaves his body to be replaced by heat that rises to his cheeks and turns the skin red.Â
You, however, do your absolute best to satisfy Haechan, but at the overwhelming persistence of pleasure at the hands of Sunwoo, you feel as if youâre just mouthing around his cock and hoping for the best.Â
Haechan, at your appearance, combs his fingers in your hair (softly), gripping it in his palm, dragging your head back to make eye contact with you. Your eyes are half-lidded and your focus is hazy, âCan I use your mouth?âÂ
At your lack of response, he repeats himself, voice kind despite the absolute bimbofication he wants to inflict on you, âCan I use your mouth, baby?âÂ
You attempt to nod, and at your permission he uses your mouth, your throat, thrusting in and out until he reaches the back of your throat. Again and again.Â
Haechanâs whines are pretty and the impact it has on you is immediately picked up by Sunwoo who can feel your body react to the other manâs sounds almost instantaneously.Â
Heâs jealous and somewhat turned on, thrusting harder in an attempt to distract you using pleasure as a means to leave Haechan almost in the dust (Sunwoo may have invited him, but in the end, Sunwoo can only take so much.)Â
But as you are tormented due to Sunwooâs unwavering jealousy, Haechan comes completely unscathed, âCan I come in your mouth?âÂ
You nod, in an attempt to support Haechanâs thrusting hips, tongue running along the underside of his cock until come spurts out of the tip painting your throat in a delicious display of passion. Sending you into a complete frenzy, wanting to follow him to orgasm like a little foal.Â
âShit,â You croak, as you clench around Sunwooâs cock tightly, your climax washing over you. The boy sighs, almost disappointed by how short the session was, squeezing you even harder. Tortures you almost cruelly with his fingers and his strength, the gentleness of the last sessions nonexistent as he builds you to another orgasm. Just for him.Â
Your nails dig into Haechanâs calf, denting and clawing at him until he starts to bleed, the pain making him wince. And youâd apologise if Sunwoo gave you the chance because he starts to piston into you like tomorrow didnât exist, the soft sheets cupping your knees too hot and rough to receive comfort from as you dance across the line once more.Â
But before you get there, he climaxes. Shuddering as his come reaches the deepest parts of you effortlessly, holding onto your body to regain consciousness, all before he removes himself completely.Â
You whimper, âNooooo.âÂ
âI donât want to hear it,â Sunwoo snaps, still slightly dominant in tone before he walks into the bathroom, systematically preparing you a towel and your shower, âIf you really want to come again, have Haechan do it.âÂ
Haechan chuckles under his breath, pulling you to him by your leg and his hand slipping to cup the back of your neck, kissing you. Heâs a good kisser and he knows it. He keeps the kiss reasonably soft, tongue slipping into your mouth and his lips lifting when you whimper against his lips.Â
The two of you pull away with a small pop, but his lips are on your skin again. Kissing every bit of your skin from your jaw all the way down your body. Stopping only to give a little attention to your breasts.Â
You quiver underneath his attention, your fingers slipping into his hair as you curl inward, only to split open at the feeling of his hair dragging down your navel and all the way until his mouth meets that tiny bud of nerves.Â
âDoes your man know how pretty you are?â He pecks at your waist.Â
You smile, giggling at his sweet words, âI donât know.âÂ
âIf you donât know that means he doesnât tell you enough,â Haechan whispers, licking a long strip along your sex.Â
âAlthough I do love it when a gorgeous man calls me pretty, Iâd fucking love it if you fucked me now.âÂ
He snorts, âWell forgive me for trying to be sweet.âÂ
âYou are sweet,â You promise, cushioning his cheeks with your palms to bring him into the most dramatic kiss. He moans, fingers brushing over your sensitive nipples and arms taut as he rights himself, your waists aligning with yours and his cock bouncing in the space between you both.Â
He takes his time, gripping the head as he enters you, and youâre full again. So full. Heâs somewhat quiet, a few groans caught in his mouth as he listens to you struggle to keep your pleasure at bay. Heâs a bit frustrated by it.Â
When he feels your walls clench around him in a telling way, he slows down and you plead against his lips and your fingers desperate as you clutch his torso, âDonât be mean to me, Haechan, please.âÂ
âI will never be cruel to you,â He promises, but he is because he doesnât fasten his pace nor does he split you open with his cock like you want him to.Â
âPlease let me come,â You beg, tears welling in your eyes as he kisses them away.Â
âDo one thing for me, and Iâll let you come,â He prepositions and you nod, willing to do anything to satisfy him. He kisses your jaw at your obedience.Â
âAnything.âÂ
âLet me devour you how I want to,â He whispers, entering you so deep heâs sucked the soul out of you, mouth slowly forming the words, âAnd just enjoy it.âÂ
You kiss him again, a little in love with him. A lot more infatuated than you were before and thatâs when he begins to thrust into you like youâre no more than a notch on his bedpost.Â
And thatâs when he hears music. Whimpering and gasping when his waist meets yours. When he angles his hips and you start moaning and crying, unable to say his name properly. He loves the struggle as your kiss turns all teeth and chin.Â
âYouâre doing so fucking good, Iâm jealous,â He praises, sucking hickies into your neck a little possessively.Â
You clench around him, legs squeezing him into a tight embrace, skin red as you pinch at his skin. Youâre completely breathless, sweaty and weak limbed. Tears caught in your eyelids.Â
âGood girl,â He murmurs, âGood girl.âÂ
You deflate, only perking up as you realise, âYou didnât come.âÂ
He laughs, and his laugh is fucking golden, âMy hand has never failed me before, Y/N. Itâs not going to stop now.âÂ
He doesnât even realise it, the smile youâre watching him with as he exits the room into the bathroom. It takes you a while, but you rise from the bed, slowly and a little timidly as you make your way to the shower.Â
Sunwoo and Haechan stand there, Haechan in the shower and Sunwoo fully clothed, bickering.Â
âI set up the shower for Y/N, you fucking asshole,â Sunwoo snaps, but heâs not angry. Just lightly amused.Â
âAnd I just made your girl come, bro, I think I have the right to treat myself,â Haechan grins, fingers massaging into his scalp, âAnd sheâs more than welcome to join me.âÂ
âI hate you.âÂ
âIâll get over it.âÂ
When you make your way into the bathroom, you feel as if you saved the country in your past life. The two boys, one you had a crush on and one that means more to you than anything else smiling at you like this.Â
You open the shower door, ignoring the classic cheeky look Haechan gives Sunwoo to give the aforementioned boy a thank you kiss. Itâs slow and gentle and a little too fond.Â
You pull away, staring at him for a while, and heâs surprised. His lips slightly swollen and his skin a glowy sort of gold. His eyes, wide and dreamy, the colour of tapioca pearls.Â
âThank you,â You say, extra sweet.Â
Heâs a little taken aback, by your smile and by your gratitude, before he grins easily back at you, âNo problem.âÂ
You turn around, Sunwoo stands there expectantly, coming to you with his hand extended. You push forward, palm strong as you push him a little away from you, âNot you.âÂ
Sunwoo frowns, âWhat? Why? What did I do?âÂ
âYou were mean to me,â You frown.Â
Sunwooâs mouth drops, âHow was I mean to you?âÂ
âYou know how you were mean to me,â You humph at him, reaching for the cloth to wipe at your eyes and then the come in between your thighs.Â
âTeach him a lesson, Y/N,â Haechanâs voice rings brightly from his position. Sunwoo looks at him, murder on his mind. Haechan shrugs amused at the situation, turning around to face the faucet and Sunwooâs outraged innocence on proud display.Â
âNo!â Sunwoo shouts, âBaby! No!â
author's note : OMG this took so long it's been over a whole year I think since I updated this but happy birthday sunwoo <3 (and yes, i was supposed to upload this on sunwoo's birthday it just didn't work out obviously) BUT on the bright side, it's in between both Sunwoo and Haechan's birthdays. So totally purposeful.
