Changing the World: One Person at a Time

"For God's gifts and His call are irrevocable" (Romans 11:29). God has called me forward for such a time and a purpose as this. To reach the broken, hurt, lost, alone. To reach everybody. Nobody has strayed to far to be loved by Him. And the world needs to know that. Here you will find the cry of my heart, the cry of a missionary heart, a heart that wants the world to know who Jesus is and to know His perfect unfailing love. Because He didn't come just to save me but to save everybody.

[cryofamissionary]

Dear Future __________

I, too, was once in this boat you find yourself in - wondering if I made to right decision or not. I was 92% sure on the inside that I did [because let's face it, I don't think I'm ever 100% sure on the inside]. However, the difference between you and me, is that you will succeed at what i didn't. You see, when they say you give up everything to move here, I didn't take them 100% seriously. I willingly gave up my job but I still had my friends and family right? Shortly after getting here I realized I had more I was going to lose still. Those friendships that I had which I thought were rock solid before I moved, were not. Quickly, I found myself in a place where I wanted to quit. But something in me told me to hold on. Because, well, there were quite a few people who doubted my decision and if there is one thing I know I'm good at, it's being stubborn. I poured everything into proving these few people wrong and I succeeded - I think. I mean, I didn't give up and I graduated so that means I proved them wrong, right? Honestly, I may never know the right answer to that. I will tell you that I did everything I thought I needed to do to survive except one thing. One thing you don't realize when you move - life doesn't stay still until you return. People move on and friends get married. To make up for that, I met people here. Perfect, right? Not really. See, I failed to truly let these people in. So while I was surrounded by people, I was still hurting - bad. I was back at square one. I wanted to quit but I couldn't. So I started volunteering. It helped - for a little bit. But once again, I didn't let people in. Beginning to notice a trend here? I could keep going but I'm not. So here I am now, graduated and still wondering if I made the right decision. While in some people's eyes, I haven't. In others, including my own, I have. I've learned the value of friendship and letting people in. Because of that, I've gained a whole new group of friends and a big sister. I've learned the importance of making it on my own. And how to lean on others when needed. I turned dependence into independence. Truly, have I made all the right choices when it comes to how I'm living my life? Definitely not. But I'm living life and I'm enjoying it. And that's what matters. So learn this lesson from someone who had to learn it the hard way, let people in. I promise everything will get a lot better once you do. And the right people, won't judge you for being you.

[cryofamissionary]

Wake Up!

"The mold in which a key is made would be a strange thing, if you had never seen a key: and the key itself a strange thing if you had never seen a lock. Your soul has a curious shape because it is a hollow made to fit a particular swelling in the infinite contours of the divine substance, or a key to unlock one of the doors in the house with many mansions." C. S. Lewis

Many years ago I had a dream about molds. Not the fungus but plastic molds where you put something in it and it forms to that object. As I was walking around and looking at all these molds I noticed that they were human shaped and many had people “stuck” in them, asleep yet wide awake, like they were living their lives but trapped inside. I hurriedly began looking into all the different molds, searching for where I fit in, my “mold” per-say. But I couldn’t find one. As I paused and looked around, I noticed there were other people walking around as well but instead of looking trapped like those in the molds or frantically searching for their “mold”, they were free. No chains, no bondage, no molds they were required to form to. I looked down at myself, there were no chains, no scars, I was free. Because of Jesus I was set free from the molds of this world.

The dream continued a few nights later. I knew I was free so instead of searching for my mold I was running from mold to mold trying to wake these people up from their sleepless slumber so they could be free as well.

"This is why it is said: “Wake up, sleeper, rise from the dead, and Christ will shine on you.” (‭Ephesians‬ ‭5‬:‭14‬ NIV)"

WAKE UP! Our time is now! Stop conforming to the ways of the world. Help others break free from the bondage that has ensnared them.

Someone woke you and brought you out of your “mold”, your coffin. Isn’t it time we did the same for others?

[cryofamissionary]

Change Happens and It's Okay

Thursday August 7, 2014

When you go away to school you almost expect everything at “home” to stay the same. But the reality of it is….it doesn’t. Things change and life continues. Babies are born. Relationships are formed. People get married and people break up. People grow up. And they change. Some people you may never see again. The areas we grew up in, the areas we left behind they don’t look the same anymore. Yet some things will remain the same and you’ll always have that group of people who are always there. Your friends and family will miss you-as much as you’ve missed them. They will forever love you. As much as we wish we could have paused our “home” life and picked up right where we left off we can’t. But you need to remember that just as much as coming home to all the change is hard on you, you’ve changed as well too and everyone else must adjust to that as well. You may stand out but you’re not alone. Your growth will encourage others to grow. Live it out, don’t ever let your fire die down.

[cryofamissionary]

Let Him Lead

Tuesday July 8, 2014 Tonight as we walked into church the lights were dimmed and because it was so bright outside still we couldn’t see anything at first. So we stumbled over to where we recognized someone we knew but we had to go up two large steps to get there. As we were struggling to find where to step up I noticed a hand reaching out to help us up, to lead us in the right direction. And because we knew that his eyes were “open” more and he could see more clearly the path before us, we reached out our hand and trusted he would not lead us astray. How many times is it like this with us and God? We are walking along and everything is bright and cheery and then a dark patch comes along, things seem to not go as planned and you’re no longer sure which way to go but there in the midst of not being able to see where you are going there is a hand reaching out and willing to help guide you until the path becomes clear to you as well. And because we know He’ll never lead us astray and that He can see the path ahead of us clearly we reach out and take His hand and trust Him fully that He’ll lead the way. But even once our eyes “adjust” don’t ever let go. Let Him lead the way.

[cryofamissionary]

Change of Address Sticker

Saturday, July 5, 2014

In the past twelve months I have moved 5 times, lived in 3 different cities and 2 different states. To say I am a pro at packing would be a lie….to say I’m a pro at unpacking would be closer to the truth because to be honest sometimes that’s just easier and I got tired of turning around and having to pack again. But sometimes you feel like a stranger in your own home when everything is in boxes & suitcases. Almost like something is standing still yet time is flying by or like you are getting ready to go somewhere but never make it out the door.

But isn’t this the life of a missionary?

We constantly have to be open and willing for change. We never know what tomorrow may bring or where we may be. But no matter what we will always be ready. No matter what we’ll never be a stranger on “foreign soil” because we have God on our side. So when the going gets tough and the seas seem rocky and you may have no idea where your at, set your sight on Him, hold on tight, stay in the boat, you’re gonna make it thru in one piece.  He’s our provider He’s our protector He’s our healer and He’s our source.  He’s never failed us before and He’s not gonna fail us now

So what do you have to worry about-nothing. God will provide.

[cryofamissionary]

If You Look Close Enough...

Thursday, May 15, 2014

If you look close enough you can see that there is a lesson you can learn in everything. But first you have to open your eyes to look beyond the circumstances and situations, only then can you truly see. This week I once again packed up everything I own. That in and of itself is something I don't always like doing (and if I thought the packing was rough, unpacking is even worse). But lets throw a wrench in there:

I have to decide what can stay and what can go.  And it needs to be in as few boxes as possible. For the second time in 9 months I have to condense what I have into smaller quantities.  I have to decide what I need for the summer and what I'll be okay without.

There was definitely complaining as I packed. I didn't want to do it at all. And I put it off for as long as possible (didn't even start until 7pm the night before I had to move). I packed 3/4 of a box and left to get ice cream. Came back home to not even make it back inside before I got in my friends car and went to Taco Bell.  Oh and did I mention its finals time too? Regardless I got it all finished. The next day we moved it all to storage and I came home to a nearly empty room. My life condensed to a few small boxes and 3 suitcases. That's all. From the outside looking in, it looked depressing.  But if you look close enough there is a lesson to be learned.  God is teaching me now what it is like to be a missionary. A few small boxes, 3 suitcases, and an air mattress that doesn't hold air. It may not seem like much but I am thankful for what I do have. He is preparing me for something much bigger than this. But I am thankful to have learned this lesson now.  And as hard as packing might be, I am very excited to be moving. It's time for a new adventure, It's time for summer with my best friend.

[cryofamissionary]

First Year Advice

Saturday, May 10, 2014 If I could give one piece of advice to any incoming First Year student at Rhema it would be this: don't allow whatever the devil tries to throw at you ruin your First Year. It's not worth it - at all. In your first year you'll be stretched in ways you never thought you'd be stretched. You'll grow in areas you never knew you needed to grow in or that even existed in the first place. And the devil will try to attack you and get you to leave - but no matter what comes against you don't let it ruin your First Year or make you bitter. Remember the promises the Father gave you for coming to Rhema, remember why He called you here in the first place. Those promises, they are worth so much more than anything the devil could try to throw at you. So when the going gets tough and nothing seems to be going the right way, don't throw in the towel or leave. Get back up and run the race God has placed before you. Finish strong. Rhema is not a finishing line but a launching pad. He has called you here for a reason and He won't let fail you now. Finish strong. Start strong. You can do this.

[cryofamissionary]

How Do You Know?

Tuesday, April 1, 2014

Many times people will ask me how it is that I know I am called to missions work…. Because every time I see or hear anything to do with missions work my heart breaks for the people. My hearts breaks for them to know Jesus. And all I want is to go! Go and tell the world, or sometimes to simply love and that thru that love spread God’s love to them. Because they need to know too. And someone has to tell them.

[cryofamissionary]

Sometimes I Wonder How...

Thursday, March 27, 2014

Sometimes I look back still and wonder how. How did I go from having two blankets to having enough to allow people to borrow them? Simply God. How did I go from having 3 cups, 3 plates, 3 bowls, and a box of plastic silver wear to having so much that it won’t all fit one shelf anymore? Simply God. How did I pack up the contents of my room and everything Jess brought back with her in my car with a little bit in Rachel’s car? Simply God. How did I leave everything I knew, everything I was comfortable with, to come to a place where I didn’t know what tomorrow would bring? Simply God. And the biggest one of all… How did I even make it from there to here? Simply God.

Sometimes I wonder how but.... It’s all simply because God is faithful!

[cryofamissionary]

A Cord of Many Strands

Tuesday, March 18. 2014

To some they may just be cords or ropes but to me the mean so much more.

To me they mean freedom. Freedom from what is known to the world as genetics. Freedom to set my own path, to accomplish new things even when nobody else could. To me they mean riches, that money should never be an objective in what we want to do. From the worlds eyes I never should've been able to afford college. But I did it...without taking out a single loan. To me they mean fresh beginnings. Not only for me but for those who follow after me. I am paving a new path for others to follow. To me they mean I am more. More than what everyone says I am, more than what everyone says I can be.  To me they mean success. When everything may seem like it's going to come crashing down I can remember that He got me thru then and He'll get me thru now. I cannot fail. To me they mean hope. Hope that things can change. Hope for a future generation that no matter what they won't give up either. To me they mean royalty. Not only for their color but because there is Royal blood that runs in my veins. I am a princess.

"A three cord strand is not easily broken." -Ecclesiastes 4:12 To the world they may not be much But to me each strand and each fiber tells a story About how I got here today and what I went thru to get here Never will it break and never will I fail Turn the page, keep going strong It's not the end, it's only just begun.

[cryofamissionary]

Tuesday, January 28, 2014

"As a new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so must you love one another. By this everyone will know you are My disciples, if you love one another." -John 13:34-35

We have been called to love others. Not just those we want to. And not just certain people on certain days but ALL people. Those who hurt us-love them. Those who use us-love them. Never quit loving them. Love is what protects us from harm. Love keeps us safe and warm. Love is what set and keeps us free. Love wills us to live. And because He poured out that love on us, we need to pour it out on others.

1 Corinthians 13:13 says that of faith, hope, and love, love is the greatest. It defines love as a true affection for God and man, growing out of God's love for and in us. It is with this love that we need to not only love God but love others with, the love that He pours out on us, we need to pour out on our brothers and sisters. He gives us more than enough so we can give to others.

Regardless of the situation-love Regardless of the circumstances-love Regardless of the person-love Simply love them as God would love them and watch as not only their world turns around but as yours does as well. Love like we have been called to love.

[cryofamissionary]

Ready Or Not…Here I Come

Tuesday January 14, 2014 8… 9… 10… Ready or not here I come…. Maybe.

How many times in our lives do we say "I'm ready, use me, send me God!" or something of that variety? And at the time we really honestly mean it. Until He says go or do. Then we quickly want to throw on the brakes. "Wait, God, I don't have ________." Fill in the blank, we've all done it. We've all had the list of excuses for why we can't. And our conclusion is "I"m not ready." But God wouldn't send us anywhere without equipping us, He wouldn't tell us to speak without giving us to words, He wouldn't send you to another state or country only to not provide. He is faithful to His promises! And if He says you are ready, don't doubt Him, you are.

Ready in His eyes. Possibly not in my own. But regardless of if I think I'm ready or not I'm all in, Here I come!

[cryofamissionary]

Tuesday, January 7, 2014

Whatever You're doing inside of me It feels like chaos but I believe You're up to something bigger than me Larger than life something Heavenly

"Whatever You're Doing (Something Heavenly)" by Sanctus Real

[cryofamissionary]

Tuesday November 26, 2013

He will remind us of things in any way possible. I heard this song about a month before I moved to Oklahoma and completely lost it. Even though the song is about California I could relate to it completely. At the time Oklahoma seemed like a million miles away and like a foreign land but because God said to go, I was obeying. All of a sudden, what had become "comfortable" and "normal" was getting really uncomfortable, and it didn't make much since at the time. But then I came to learn that sometimes we will become really uncomfortable in what has been deemed comfortable or normal because God knows that is the for sure way that we will move because when we are comfortable, nobody wants to make changes. And He has so much more planned for us, once we are willing to get out of our comfort zone.

Step out. Leave the known and comfortable. And be willing to go where He leads Regardless of where He says it is.

"Where You lead me, I will go"

[cryofamissionary]

Hidden Potential

Wednesday October 23, 2013

Don't leave yet! There is hidden potential right under your feet! If you were to leave now, someone else will step into your place and they will receive the blessings that were in line for you. Don't leave just because the going gets tough or to chase after something that may only temporarily satisfy, if at all, just because you aren't seeing something to come to pass doesn't mean there isn't something working. There is a hidden potential you may not know yet. Don't quit, don't give up! Seek after Him and He'll show you what you need to do where you are at right now. 

The dream must be seen in the heart before it can ever be seen in reality.

And we can only see that dream when we ask God to show it to us.  So what are you waiting for? Ask Him.

[cryofamissionary]

I Never Thought I Could Do Both

Saturday, October 5, 2013

This all began more than a year ago. The dreams, going to Rhema but also going to One Nation One Day. Both weighed heavy on my heart. For months I knew I was supposed to go on the 1N1D trip, yet for months I put off registering. I had a whole list of excuses:

I'll never be able to raise the money in time

I don't even have the deposit money

How am I supposed to raise support for that when I'm just finishing for India and El Salvador? and the biggest one of all

How can I do both?

And by both I mean how can I go to Rhema in the fall and attend 1N1D in July. My mind kept thinking its not possible. There is no way I can go on a missions trip in July and move in August. I was convinced I had to pick one or the other.

God had another plan.

About halfway through January I got a call from a friend that said to sign up for 1N1D, my deposit was covered. Yet still, I thought there was no way I could do both. But there was this yearning I couldn't stop for either one. My heart pulled at both at the same time, while it felt like my flesh was screaming that there is no possible way you could ever do both, let alone one.

We serve a God of impossibilities.

I stepped out, in faith, and began believing for God to provide the money for 1N1D. And I kept praying about attending Rhema, in my heart I knew I was supposed to come, but I was waiting for one final confirmation. Nobody knew Rhema was even an idea in my head. At the end of February, I received that final confirmation. So here I was with Rhema in one hand and 1N1D in the other. From human perspective there was no way I could ever do both.

God will supply all our needs.

Slowly over the next 2.5 months the money for 1N1D came in and I began telling people that I was attending Rhema in the fall. Within the matter of a week I watched as God provided every penny I needed to go to 1N1D in July. The day after the money was due, and not even an hour after I had been given the extension, God provided the final payment to bring me to fully funded. 

Everything is in His timing.

I spent quite a bit of my summer counting down. Whether it was to 1N1D or moving day, there was always some sort of count down in my head. So many times my moving day got changed. August quickly approached and I had no moving date. The only date I had was that school started September 3rd and I had to move before that. Without a place to live, I set my moving date. August 23rd . A step in faith that God would provide a place for me to live by then. August 13th, 10 days before moving day, the lease was signed. 

God is forever faithful and our protector.

It doesn't end there. God continued to provide everything I needed to get to Oklahoma and protected us the entire way here. Many people laughed when I told them I was driving my car to Oklahoma. I am here today to tell you that not only did we make it here but we did not have one issue along the way.

He's our provider.

Moving to another state meant finding a new job. I began to line interviews up before I came down here. I had one at Starbucks and one at DirecTv. Ask anyone and they would tell you I would've easily chosen Starbucks over DirecTv. I now work at DirecTv, a job that 6 weeks ago I would've hated and now I've grown to love. And during my first month here, God continued to pour into me and provide more than enough for me to be able to make it to my first paycheck, which wasn't until the end of September.

Don't try telling me that He's not my provider, He makes up where I lack. Don't try telling me that He's not my protector, He holds me in His hand. Don't try telling me that He's not faithful, His promises are true. Don't try telling me He won't supply, He cares for me. Don't try telling me that He's not working it out, His timing is perfect. Don't try telling me that it's impossible, He reigns over impossibilities. Don't try telling me He doesn't have a plan, He's the author of my life. Don't try telling me He can't do something, because my God...

Yes, He can.

[cryofamissionary]

Friday, August 16, 2013

"A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step." -Lao-tzu

For the last 24 hours this quote has been running through my head. In exactly one week I embark on a journey, of almost 1,000 miles, from my home here in Michigan to my new home in Oklahoma. This journey began with a single step in March when I turned my application to attend Rhema Bible Training College in the fall. And each day has been one more step towards this dream. Today, I am six days from moving day. Six days of a journey of literally a thousand miles that began with God simply saying "Go"

Where He leads I will follow. Where He goes I will go.

Sometimes we have to leave everything we know. All our normalities, routines. But whatever it is, where ever He is calling me, there will I follow. With my whole heart.