Probably Nothing

[anonugget]

Your. Pathetic.

" I'm trying..But I couldn't help myself ". No. Your not. if you wanted to be " sk1nny " you would be by now. Admit it you obsessed with food. Your fat little grubby hands can't stay away from the high calorie, shit filled foods. Look at you standing on them scales crying, I would too if I saw that shit say error.

Suck it up and starve <3

[rallythedead]

[cryptastic]

Nailed it

[cryptastic]

Things in DC would never be the same...

[cryptastic]

I was told to add a selfie if I wanted to.

[cryptastic]

Pushing people out of your life and getting angry when they stop hanging around is like taking all of your employees off the schedule and complaining about how they didn’t show up to work the next day.

“They should want the job enough to come in anyway!"

No! If you show people you don't want them around, they stop showing up!

[cryptastic]

Dumbledores

While I was eating lunch yesterday, I overheard a conversation between a couple of men wearing business suits: "First, you should see the Dumbledores." "Okay, so first, I look for the Dumbledores." "Yeah, right when you get in there, you should see the Dumbledores right away. You won't have to look hard, they're hard to miss. You'll need to get past those Dumbledores." "Get passed the Dumbledores, I got it." It was several minutes later when I realized they were saying "double doors," but I liked the first impression better.

[cryptastic]

This one time, I saw one of those lone ants, scooting across my kitchen tile. You know, one of the ant scouts. The little buggers who blaze new ant frontiers to bring back news of lands of plenty and lead her other ant sisters to promised lands and glory. Well, I spotted her. I have nothing against antenkind, but I was not in the market for roommates. I knew the jackpot of air conditioning, running water, and a vh1 behind the music marathon was a dream come true for any kind of ants. I'm a civilized person, so murdering the scout was out. Also, there would be no guarantees they wouldn't send an ant hit squad to take me. Lannistants always pay their debts. So I had to think of something else. I went to the fridge, cut a generous portion of cake, put that aside for myself, then cut a double portion and put it on a plate. I set it next to the ant and whispered, "let's keep this paradise between us, eh?" I winked at her and went on my business. The next day, ants fucking everywhere. You can't just buy an ant's loyalty. They just can't be played that way.

[cryptastic]

Evolution of Ninja

Historical ninja did not wear all black, but actually just wore common clothes to blend in with everyone else. That’s how they could strike seemingly unseen. Today’s popular conception of the “dressed in all black, stealthy-stealthy-sneaky-sneaky” ninja actually comes from the Kuroko from Japanese Kabuki theater. They were actually stage hands to move props around and such and wore all black to blend in with the background. They were intended to be ignored completely by the audience. Since they slipped through scenes unnoticed, they were eventually used sometimes to portray an assassination by ninja to have that same effect of striking unseen and out of nowhere.

It was effective and became iconic. Today, the all-black garbed assassins are everywhere in popular culture, so much so that there is no shock or surprise anymore. Whenever we see someone dressed as a ninja, we know something’s about to go down, so that “out of nowhere” charm is lost... but not for long...

You see... we have similar stage hands today. And it’s only a matter of time before they claim their rightful spots as the new face of ninja everywhere.

My hope is that hundreds of years down the line, movies, Halloween costumes, and stories will refer to the legends of the ancient assassins who dressed in skin tight body suits of bright green to blend in with the grasses and trees to hide from their targets. I want kids at sleepovers holding green suit action figures while raving about how awesome it would have been to wear the nylons of feudal Japan. I want films showing green bodysuits cartwheeling and flipping around with blades in ridiculously expensive action sequences. I want there to be late night arguments over who would remain victorious between the salty, scurvy ridden pirates of the Caribbean and the ancient green warriors who stowed aboard the ships from within crates of limes. All of this is within our grasp, we only need to let it happen.

[cryptastic]

I want to cook soup in a loch ness monster ladle and then scoop it out with a smaller loch ness monster ladle to transfer it to a bowl sized loch ness monster ladle and eat it with a mini-sized loch ness monster ladle. All while looking at my collection of loch ness monster ladles.

[throwbacksongs]

Visit Original Link

Fefe Dobson - We Went For A Ride

[cryptastic]

One year ago today.

[uniqueforeverr]

[kasiaaaaa]

[cryptastic]

Being with her feels like those beautiful, destination vacations that you never thought you'd ever be able to afford. One with spectacular scenery leaving you breathless everywhere you look. One where you get so excited about every day that you wake up unreasonably early and you really savor every second to take full advantage of it all. The only difference is that I get to keep reminding myself that it isn't ending and I don't have to eventually leave and go home. I am home.

[cryptastic]

I don't know what to say, I kinda like it.

[cryptastic]

I did not, in fact, remember the 5th of November

[cryptastic]

All conversations at the office today:

"Did Callaghan start the fire?"

[cryptastic]

I would be a ridiculous father.