⋆ Small achievable goals to change your entire life in 2025 🌸⋆.ೃ࿔.⊹𝄞⨾𓍢ִ໋
ׂ╰┈➤ Start cooking more of your meals at home. Incorporate more healthy ingredients in your meals and/or disguise them in delicious recipes!
ׂ╰┈➤ Start working out regularly, at the gym, in the park or just in your bedroom. Any form of activity counts!!
ׂ╰┈➤ Start drinking more water!!!
ׂ╰┈➤ Establish an easy morning and evening routine that you can do everyday
ׂ╰┈➤ Never skip skincare or basic hygiene like showering or brushing your teeth
ׂ╰┈➤ Fix your sleep schedule and sleep 7-9 hours a night
ׂ╰┈➤ Choose to spend less time on your phone and more time outside/with family and friends.
ׂ╰┈➤ Uninstall harmful social media apps
ׂ╰┈➤ Start being productive everyday – read, journal or practice your hobbies more often!
ׂ╰┈➤ Take yourself on solo dates! Everybody underestimates this so much, but I promise it makes such a difference in your mood. Go to the spa or salon, take sunset walks, read at the corner cafe while enjoying a warm pastry!!
ׂ╰┈➤ Start romanticising your life! Candle lit dinners with your family, spa and rest days, buying flowers or that cute dress or doing face masks while reading at night could make such a great difference!!
ׂ╰┈➤ Start complimenting people more often and saying kind things to strangers!
ׂ╰┈➤ Clear out your wardrobe! Find your desired style and get some cute key pieces that go well with anything. Donate old clothes that you aren't wearing anymore!
ׂ╰┈➤ Of course, looks ARE NOT everything in life, but you should try to look as put together as possible in every situation. Use clothes and hairstyles that fit you well, wear perfume, jewelery and accessories, try to have well maintained nails and skin
ׂ╰┈➤ Become well organised by always preparing for a situation ahead of time
ׂ╰┈➤ Experiment with cooking or baking, with your make up/hairstyle, and try out new places or hobbies too!
ׂ╰┈➤ Stop worrying about other people and their opinions. Cut out all the negativity in your life, they might be ruining your progress!
ׂ╰┈➤ Try to become more confident each day, being confident makes the biggest difference in your life of them all!
ׂ╰┈➤ Stop being so hard on yourself! Life is not a race so please remember to enjoy every moment and take it easy and slowly. Results will not be visible immediately but change is on the way and you know it too. Good luck!! <33
★ No More Pretending You’re Lost — You Know Who You Are - Prt. 1
Hiya Femi Girlies, it's been a while! Life has been crazy for me as a Software Engineer but I have calmed things down and I am ready to be giving advice again! So, let's get started!
It’s easy to lose yourself — not in big, dramatic ways, but in the small, everyday moments. The quiet ways you adjust your tone, soften your opinions, or downplay your interests just to fit into spaces that were never made for you. Most of us do it without realizing. We perform. We adapt. And eventually, it starts to feel normal — until one day, it doesn’t. When your friendships feel shallow, your goals lose clarity, and even your wins don’t feel like yours — that’s your cue to come home to yourself.
That’s what this new series is about. No More Pretending You’re Lost — You Know Who You Are is a four-part guide for those who are done performing, done people-pleasing, and done playing small. Over the next few posts, we’ll explore what it means to stop performing, remember who you are beneath all the noise, reinvent yourself without apology, and take back the director’s chair in your own life!
This isn’t about becoming someone new; it’s about returning to the person you’ve always been.
Let’s start where most of us are right now — caught in the act of performing without even realizing it.
▸The Performance Trap
So many of us have learned to perform. We perform for the internet, our communities, our friends, our families — sometimes even for our partners. And to be honest, it's a quiet survival instinct we picked up over time. But eventually, the act becomes heavy. We start to notice the disconnect — the wrong people around us, the wrong situations, the wrong kind of love. And it’s not because something’s wrong with us — it’s because we’ve been showing up as a version of ourselves that isn’t real.
⋆ The Main Advice
When you perform, you build relationships on false signals. You attract what aligns with the masked you, not the real you. Until you stop, you’ll keep feeling misunderstood and misplaced — because you’re not giving the world the real coordinates of who you are.
It’s time to pause and ask:
- Who am I when no one’s watching?
- Who am I when I stop trying to impress or belong?
- Whose voice have I been living by — my parents? my peers? my fear?
That reflection is where your alignment starts.
⋆ Practical Tips
[ 1 ] Notice when you shrink.
Any time you edit yourself in conversation or online, pause. Ask why.
[ 2 ] Reconnect with solitude.
Spend quiet time alone without background noise. Let your real thoughts surface.
[ 3 ] Be honest in small ways first.
Speak your actual opinion in one conversation a day — no performance, no pretending.
When you stop the performance, your energy starts clearing. The right people, ideas, and opportunities begin to meet you where you actually are.
That’s when your life starts aligning — not when you’re perfect, but when you’re real~
“Studying is hard and boring. Teaching is hard and boring. So, what you’re telling me is to be bored, and then bored, and finally bored again, but this time for the rest of my life? This whole stupid country is bored! There’s no life in it, or color, or fun! It’s probably just as well the Russians are going to drop a nuclear bomb on us any day now. So my choice is to do something hard and boring, or to marry my… Jew, and go to Paris and Rome and listen to jazz, and read, and eat good food in nice restaurants, and have fun!”
sit in the sun without anything to do, feel the heat of the rays hit your skin, realize that this sunlight has travelled a very long way to reach you
walk around barefoot and try to feel as much of the ground under your feet as you can, notice every rock and blade of grass
sit quietly for a while and notice the touch of breath in your nostrils, feel how the air gets cooler as you inhale and warmer as you exhale
drive around aimlessly and blast some of your favorite songs, scream/sing along to them and feel the vibrations of your favorite lyrics as they change the air in your throat and around you, feel that the music is healing you from the inside out
stay away from alcohol or drugs for a few days, try to be as aware and present as you can in every moment, stop trying to numb or dull your senses
eat a few meals without any distractions, notice every bite and taste every flavor that covers your tongue, be grateful for it all
look up at the stars and the moon, understand how small we all are and how immense the universe is, realize what a miracle everything is, let your heart swell with amazement and admiration for life itself
⋆ Small achievable goals to change your entire life in 2025 🌸⋆.ೃ࿔.⊹𝄞⨾𓍢ִ໋
ׂ╰┈➤ Start cooking more of your meals at home. Incorporate more healthy ingredients in your meals and/or disguise them in delicious recipes!
ׂ╰┈➤ Start working out regularly, at the gym, in the park or just in your bedroom. Any form of activity counts!!
ׂ╰┈➤ Start drinking more water!!!
ׂ╰┈➤ Establish an easy morning and evening routine that you can do everyday
ׂ╰┈➤ Never skip skincare or basic hygiene like showering or brushing your teeth
ׂ╰┈➤ Fix your sleep schedule and sleep 7-9 hours a night
ׂ╰┈➤ Choose to spend less time on your phone and more time outside/with family and friends.
ׂ╰┈➤ Uninstall harmful social media apps
ׂ╰┈➤ Start being productive everyday – read, journal or practice your hobbies more often!
ׂ╰┈➤ Take yourself on solo dates! Everybody underestimates this so much, but I promise it makes such a difference in your mood. Go to the spa or salon, take sunset walks, read at the corner cafe while enjoying a warm pastry!!
ׂ╰┈➤ Start romanticising your life! Candle lit dinners with your family, spa and rest days, buying flowers or that cute dress or doing face masks while reading at night could make such a great difference!!
ׂ╰┈➤ Start complimenting people more often and saying kind things to strangers!
ׂ╰┈➤ Clear out your wardrobe! Find your desired style and get some cute key pieces that go well with anything. Donate old clothes that you aren't wearing anymore!
ׂ╰┈➤ Of course, looks ARE NOT everything in life, but you should try to look as put together as possible in every situation. Use clothes and hairstyles that fit you well, wear perfume, jewelery and accessories, try to have well maintained nails and skin
ׂ╰┈➤ Become well organised by always preparing for a situation ahead of time
ׂ╰┈➤ Experiment with cooking or baking, with your make up/hairstyle, and try out new places or hobbies too!
ׂ╰┈➤ Stop worrying about other people and their opinions. Cut out all the negativity in your life, they might be ruining your progress!
ׂ╰┈➤ Try to become more confident each day, being confident makes the biggest difference in your life of them all!
ׂ╰┈➤ Stop being so hard on yourself! Life is not a race so please remember to enjoy every moment and take it easy and slowly. Results will not be visible immediately but change is on the way and you know it too. Good luck!! <33
feel free to join me in this. I'm going to try to post every day about how I did <3
- get at least 7 consecutive hours of sleep. I've found if I go to sleep and then wake up back for a couple hours and then finish the 8 hours I feel I incredibly unrested. I keep myself accountable by using pokemon sleep which has a great alarm, so I'm looking forward to trying this instead
- read or listen to an audiobook for 30 minutes. literacy is a muscle, and using it is important, but sometimes I can't just sit down and read a book, and audiobooks are great for when I'm cleaning or cooking or folding laundry
- get sun daily. humans are a lot more like plants than you would think and so it is important to get some sun, even when it's a wintery sun that's cold or when it's a blazing furnace. Since I have some mental health issues and am unable to go outside im going to at least open my curtains, and if possible, crack a window to get some fresh air
- start a hobby you can enjoy. this one can be difficult because a lot of things require some sort of financial investment. for me, my hobbies for these six months is going to be writing and annotating books. but being creative is great for the human mind.
- learn to be comfortable alone. honestly this one will be difficult. personally, I live in a studio. privacy is nothing i experience, butthe little moments where you find yourself escaping with TV playing or music pause it and sit with yourself, how else can you learn to love someone if you avoid them 🥰
- meditate daily. this will be something I struggle with so much, but I'm going to try in the mornings since that's my peak time <3 and that's when I plan on doing a yoga flow during the sunrise
- eat healthy nutritious food. I hate cooking and I hate eating. having autism can make these really difficult for me to do, but I'm really really trying. I started the week before last to work on figuring out what snack foods I can prep, and now i just need to work on planning out some meals.
- positive affirmations everyday. I really struggle to have positive self talk because it feels so awkward and uncomfortable because I've been pessimistic for so long, but I want to change that ^^
- reduce screen time. this is going to be specifically targetting mindless scrolling for me. I have a tiktok account that I use for motivation, same with my tumblr account, and I also read on my phone and use my sleep app that I need to keep open at night.
- practice gratitude. my goal is to at night reflect on the day to try and find the good. I already reflect on my days and pick a mood, but I want to create lists of things i am grateful for, especially while I'm in between jobs.
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