Brand New Disaster @cryptid-couture - Tumblr Blog

compilation of my all-time favorite tweets

captainsnoop-deactivated2020041

i hate it when game devs put “fixed several issues” in patch notes

no. tell me what you fixed. i wanna know what the glitch was.

you know those patch notes that are like “fixed an issue where if the player sat in a bush for too long, they’d become the size of a skyscraper”

i wanna read those. tell me those.

necroesque666

sindri42

ahdok

Adjusted value of Bees. Now that was a special one… because every item in the game had a minimum value, and a beehive was a container for bees, which each had a minimum value… which meant the moment one of your dwarves picked up a beehive, your entire fortress’ net worth skyrocketed… a value used in determining how powerful the foes that visit and try to murder you are.

prokopetz

Reblogging for the explanation of what “adjusted value of bees” actually means, because I know several folks following this blog have been wondering.

probabilitydirigible

Okay but you’ve all forgotten the best Dwarf Fortress bug of all “Flying creatures give birth in midair, leading to tragedy”

probabilitydirigible

Actually I lied it’s the one where after a major update werewolves and vampires started climbing the nearest tree and refusing to come down. It turned out that he’d given evil creatures the ability to sense each other, but forgotten to set a maximum range on it, so werewolves were aware Hell was underground and trying to flee by climbing

thepageofhopes

This has to be my favorite patch note ever

library-seraph

My fave dwarf fortress patch note is “i think i made fish too hardcore”. IIRC dwarf fortress has universal skills so everything that can swin has the swim skill. physical skills train strength, so increasing swimming will have a knock on positive effect for all physical skills. since fish are swimming all the time this meant fish were constantly raising strength and became unstoppable killing machines

princecroutons

does croutons know how to count to 4

his mind is unburdened by the concept of basically everything

creekfiend

chewy dot com wants you to know that they are proud purveyors of fine Dog Exorcism Potions, btw

creekfiend

the ad copy says it can be used on camels. imagine someone with a camel who is struggling with camel behavior problems seeing this and thinking "hot damn, the solution to my camel misbehavior problems is CERTAINLY this dog exorcism potion"

horsefriend

putnamspuppeteer

For those who don't know: Ikumi Nakamura is the woman who was senior artist on Bayonetta, and designed the titular character along with Hideki Kamiya. Their greatest moment of bonding was over their insistence that Bayonetta keep her glasses on at all times. Nakamura cannot go to horny jail. She is the warden.