Way Down Spooky Town

A carniepunk tragedy

[crypto-keeper]

2025 Horror Husband Hoedown Champion!!

A huge congratulations to PENNYWISE THE DANCING CLOWN (IT) for being the 2025 Horror Husband! It was a hard fought battle, and he has come out ahead of our silver medalist THE CREATURE (Frankenstein) by 3 VOTES.

He will be exempt from round one of 2026's hoedown, and we shall see if he can maintain this lead!

I will see you all soon for the new yearly tradition of the Dracula Derby, wherein we shall see which face will be used for our iconic contestant! Is there anyone else with multiple castings you think we should vote on? Who do you want to see battle it out for a chance at Horror Husband of the Year? Let me know!

[crypto-keeper]

HHH 25 FINALS - BETTER LATE THAN NEVER

Y'all I cannot believe I forgor our finale. Please accept my sincerest apologies. Here are our finalists!

The Creature vs. Pennywise!

I thought for sure we had a Creature sweep, but I neglected to even put it to a vote.

Cast your ballots now for the Horror Husband Hoedown 25 champion, and 26 frontrunner!

Which of these two amalgamations is the most husband-ly? You decide!

Adam or Penny?

The Creature (Frankenstein)

Pennywise (IT)

Voting ended onMay 25

[theehorsepusssy]

[sometiktoksarevalid]

[daysleftofsecondterm]

Beautiful, you don’t HAVE to forgive them. You just can’t ridicule them after leaving for being “tainted” or “evil” or whatever the acceptable word is now. Do not punish the behaviour you want to see.

“But they should’ve known sooner” and we should’ve known sooner that Destiel was never gonna meaningfully happen outside of queerbaiting, what’s your point?

“I never want them near me” that’s fine, but you do realize to insult them, YOU have to get near THEM, right? Wouldn’t it be more conducive to what you want to just leave each other alone?

“What if one of them tries to approach me?” Then you block them online, or you keep the conversation clinical and polite irl. You do NOT take time out of your day to berate them for their old views. Your mother raised you better than that.

[jame-dumb]

Preserving these tags, they're very correct

[llamaking]

I would reblog this one million times if I could

[daysleftofsecondterm]

As a matter of fact you can!

[thylogale-procavia]

"In fairy tales, monsters exist to be a manifestation of something that we need to understand, not only a problem we need to overcome, but also they need to represent, much like angels represent the beautiful, pure, eternal side of the human spirit, monsters need to represent a more tangible, more mortal side of being human: aging, decay, darkness and so forth. And I believe that monsters originally, when we were cavemen and you know, sitting around a fire, we needed to explain the birth of the sun and the death of the moon and the phases of the moon and rain and thunder. And we invented creatures that made sense of the world: a serpent that ate the sun, a creature that ate the moon, a man in the moon living there, things like that. And as we became more and more sophisticated and created sort of a social structure, the real enigmas started not to be outside. The rain and the thunder were logical now. But the real enigmas became social. All those impulses that we were repressing: cannibalism, murder, these things needed an explanation. The sex drive, the need to hunt, the need to kill, these things then became personified in monsters. Werewolves, vampires, ogres, this and that. I feel that monsters are here in our world to help us understand it. They are an essential part of a fable." -  Guillermo del Toro

[liminally-challenged]

The Pitt Memes pt 2

[mockva]

[crypto-keeper]

HHH 25 - Semifinals

Frankenstein's Creature vs. Brahms Heelshire!

Some large lads this round, with complicated relationships with their parents. One could argue both have spent not insignificant amounts of time living in the walls of a home (if we count The Creature's time in the wood house as "in the walls"). Both seem to be looking for love, of some kind, in all the wrong places.

Can you decide which of these big boys would make a better husband?

Choose Your Gremlin

The Creature (Frankenstein)

Brahms Heelshire (The Boy 1)

Voting ended onJan 24

[crypto-keeper]

HHH 25 - Semifinals

Lestat vs. Pennywise!

Everyone loves a good show, and these people-eaters are born performers! Pennywise is at an all-time-high with the rise of his new show, but Rockstar Lestat is also at the forefront of the people's minds!

Fascinatingly, both are now certified girl dads!

When you board the Hot Mess Express, which of these fine fellows are you hoping to see at your stop? Which would be the better husband?

Choose Your Entertainer!

Lestat de Lioncourt (The Vampire Chronicles)

Pennywise (IT)

Voting ended onJan 24

[crypto-keeper]

Horror Husband Hoedown 25 - Semifinals

Welcome back after the chaotic holidays, friends! As a recap, here is how last round played out:

A big round of applause to Frankenstein's Creature for absolutely destroying his competition (about time someone took that twink down in this competition)!

Now, for the penultimate round, here are our matches!

As always, I will link these battles here once they're up! Happy Hoedown!

The Battles:

OmNomNom

Sad Sons Anonymous

[crypto-keeper]

HHH 25 - Quarterfinals

The Creature vs. Herbert West

Science rules!

Mad science rules even harder, tbh, just look at these two! I am fascinated by the implications of a world where both Herbert West and The Creature/Frankenstein's Monster exist. I want to know how Herbert would feel about the "child of the charnel house" given his special interests.

Herbert seems like the cooler headed of the two partners, and the more scientifically-inclined, where The Creature strikes me solidly as a Humanities Major. Both certainly have their appeal (just look at their numbers in previous polls), but only one can come out on top today!

Who would be the better husband?

A Husband Hypothesis!

The Creature (Frankenstein)

Herbert West (ReAnimator)

Voting ended onDec 23, 2025

[crypto-keeper]

HHH 25 - Quarterfinals

Jason vs. Brahms

Who doesn't love a good mask? These boys are keeping the mommy issues rep alive and well (as alive and well as it can be anyway). Both of these lads are rather bulky and brawny, and love them some wooden architecture!

While Brahms is a homebody, Jason is a little more outgoing and outdoorsy. Jason has fewer issues with being seen in public (or the public of a summer camp, at least, when he isn't in Space or The Big City), but Brahms seems a little more stable, at least outwardly.

Which of these boys who absolutely need a bath would make the best husband?

Choose your Masked Man!

Jason Voorhees (Friday the 13th)

Brahms Heelshire (The Boy 1)

Voting ended onDec 23, 2025

[crypto-keeper]

HHH 25 - Quarterfinals

Hannibal vs. Lestat

The amount of money I would pay to see these two in some kind of fight is embarrassing. But I would pay it gladly.

These boys do romance in the most insane ways possible, all of which involve just so, SO much blood. The way they show affection is rather cat-like, in that nothing is ever straightforward and you are, in fact, a little in danger (a lot of danger) by being the object of their affections. NGL I'm kind of into it.

However, we must have a winner, and I am so sorry but I must ask you who, between the vampire and the cannibal, would be the superior husband?

Who is having you for dinner permanently?

Lestat de Lioncourt (Vampire Chronicles)

Dr. Hannibal Lecter

Voting ended onDec 23, 2025

[crypto-keeper]

HHH 25 - Quarterfinals

Orlok vs. Pennywise

Fear sure is delicious, isn't it? These particular gentlemen are afflictions, blights upon the towns they inhabit, and rather flashy in their displays of power. Death follows these bad boys wherever they go, and where that is may be to your arms!

Which of these plague-like suitors would make a better husband? Would you prefer a lonely castle or an elaborately decorated sewer? Both have plenty of rats to love! I can't imagine either gentleman smells great, but maybe that's something you can change!

Take your pick!

Pick a Plague

Count Orlok (Nosferatu)

Pennywise (IT)

Voting ended onDec 23, 2025

[crypto-keeper]

Horror Husband Hoedown 2025 - Quarterfinals

Here is how the last round worked out:

Congratulations to Count Orlock for defeating Dracula ny an extremely narrow margin (1.9 votes to be exact)! And fantastic job to Brahms for obliterating Daddy, it's what he probably deserves.

Now, we're bringing back Hannibal and Herbert from their rests into this upcoming round, so here are our final eight in the four battles of this round:

As usual, I will link each fight here once it's uploaded, and pin this post to the top of this blog!

Happy haunting!

The Fights:

Plagues R Us

Picky Eaters

Masks Anonymous

Weird Science

[crypto-keeper]

HHH 25 - Round 2

Lestat vs. Remmick

Hot boy alert!!

These two showstopping bloodsuckers are going head to head for your hand in marriage. Both bring unique hatred for the British and impeccable senses of style. Both are certified rockstars, and both seem to have romantic streaks. Are the French the best lovers, or is this a job for an Irishman? Can you overcome Lestat's melancholy and diva syndrome, or is Remmick's vendetta more your speed?

Which of these beautiful heartbreakers would make a better husband?

Pick Your Prick

Remmick (Sinners)

Lestat de Lioncourt (The Vampire Chronicles)

Voting ended onDec 12, 2025