[cryptodynxmic-blog]

leotardedxloser:

                               “ Thanks, boy.  You know you’re my favourite, right?”

                   ❝ ʏᴇᴀʜ, ʏᴇᴀʜ, I know. Shut up. What’s your plan here, Einstein? ❞

[cryptodynxmic-blog]

dominatrici:

                 ❝ … nah.  My jokes are EXCELLENT.   ❞

                                                 ❝ ʏᴇᴀʜ. Excellently terrible. ❞

[cryptodynxmic-blog]

xnarvaezjr:

  “Thanks. Really. Even though I probably       DESERVE a bullet through the head.” 

ray can’t stop looking at him, tries his best to keep how he’s feeling off of his face. he wants to apologize but knows it won’t matter because it wasn’t just him — the others owe one as well but he doubts they’ll give it. they haven’t shown one hint of regret. then again, they’re as good as he is at hiding everything. 

            god, he really misses michael. 

“I’ll do my best to stay away?” 

he really doesn’t want to.

                                              ❝ ᴊᴜsᴛ ɢᴏ. Before I change my mind. ❞

even though a good part of him doesn’t want ray to leave. he used to be able to talk to these people about everything, and now what? he might get killed by one of them while he walks down the street. funny how so much changes in such little time.

[cryptodynxmic-blog]

starter call??

[cryptodynxmic-blog]

leotardedxloser:

                              “ I— It was an accident! Just— don’t worry about it and help me. Please?”

                                       ❝ ʏᴇᴀʜ, ʏᴇᴀʜ, don’t get your panties in a twist.                                            Saving your ass. Again. ❞

[cryptodynxmic-blog]

xnarvaezjr:

ray doesn’t respond to that. he’s completely right. they all went wrong with michael and it seems like ray’s the only one who regrets it — considering he’s here now, he absolutely is. a sigh escapes, and god he wishes it was all happy and fun again. 

       with all of them together. but that won’t happen.        everything’s too fucked up.

  “I shouldn’t have meant it.” 

he stares at michael now, lips twitching before he drops his gaze; giving a nod. 

  “I didn’t come here to do that. But yeah, I won’t.      So long as you don’t kill me right back. I’m not      ready to be dead yet.”

michael forces a short laugh and he shoves his hands into his front pockets to keep from visibly fidgeting. that’s weakness, and not something he can show. not right now.

                                         ❝ ᴅᴏɴ'ᴛ ᴡᴏʀʀʏ. I’m not going to kill you. ❞

                                                        i care about you too much.

[cryptodynxmic-blog]

dominatrici:

             ❝ only when your jokes are terrible, everyone’s a critic.  ❞

❝ ᴅᴏɴ'ᴛ ʙᴇ ʀᴜᴅᴇ. Maybe YOUR jokes are fuckin’ terrible. ❞

[jusriggz-deactivated20160712]

                            ❝  i just wanna get sucked. ❞

[roleplayaskmemes]

Crime themed starter sentences

Includes drug and violence tw, a mix of which muse is the criminal, if not both.

“Your mother would be ashamed of you.”

“C’mon, the cops are stupid, they’ll never catch us.”

“The car’s a piece of junk anyway, they’re not gonna miss it.”

“Carry on the way you’re going and you’re gonna end up in prison.”

“I’m not that much of a scumbag, I don’t steal from old ladies.”

“One last score, then we’re out of the game, what do you say?”

“I’m only doing this because I need to pay my dealer.”

“Prison? Occupational hazard.”

“They pissed me off, I made sure they won’t be walking for a while, no biggie.”

“So you’re a drug runner or a drug dealer?”

“Prison ain’t too bad, you’ve got a bed and they feed you.”

“I get all tingly when you break into cars like that.”

“I do it for the thrill – and to fund my drug habit.”

“Did you kill him/her?”

“I never meant to hurt anyone!”

“I needed the money, what else could I do.”

“We grew up around criminals, of course we became them.”

“What kind of example are you setting for your kids?”

“I grew up, you probably should too.”

“He had it coming.”

“I just gave him his final warning.”

“I’m calling the cops!”

“I’m passionate about two things, bank robbery and you.”

“I’m a street rat, but I’m good at it.”

“Dealing in an alley, classy as ever.”

“If you don’t have my money, you know I’m going to have to teach you a lesson.”

“Bonny and Clyde made this look so much more glamorous.”

“One day we’ll be rich and we won’t have to do this anymore.”

“That’s not your wallet is it?”

“So I got in a fight, they owed me money.”

[cryptodynxmic-blog]

silliestofnugs:

[ TXT: Boi ]: You got drunk without me? :( [ TXT: Boi ]: I dunno if I want to if I’m just your sloppy drinking buddy seconds. 

    [ msg » boi. » sent ] gavv come on that s not fun     [ msg » boi. » sent ] since when are you such a party poopr

[ramsey-free]

Team Lads plays Twister on the RT Extra Life Livestream, Michael pays the price of being a champion.

[cryptodynxmic-blog]

Drunken Texts/Calls {Sentence Starters}

TEXTS

text: dont no wut your talking bout not drukn

text: love u soooooooooooooooo much

text: lets go buy like 10 chickens k?

text: do u wanna eat cheese with me

text: walmart dont like me

text: i want a puppy. a big puppy.

text: i like your face. u have a nice face

text: m drunk. help me drinking this

text: i want baby like half dozen of babys

text: i loooobe u swetiee

text: i got like 5 pizza. i like pizza

text: u kno where my pants went? lol pants

text: thnk u 4 being hot

text: i wanna bite my nose. it keps moving away!

text: do u like fidh? fish? omg fish r prtty!

CALLS

"Where are you, babyyyyy? I wanna hug you!"

"Why are you single? You are soooo great."

"My friends want you to bring us alcohols!"

"Need a ... ride home. Have to pee."

"You are my best friend! Like, my BEST friend!"

"Where's the pizza? Are you a pizza person?"

"You look like a penguin. Penguins are soooo cute!"

"How many pineapples do YOU eat before you sleep?"

"Hehehehe! Buttons make silly noises when I touch them!"

"I have another bottle of the happy water. It's yummy."

"Come heeeeere! I wanna kiss you!"

"Come help me find my shirt. I think it flew away."

"Somebody stole my house! I cant find it today."

"I drew a kitty on the wall! Its so cuuuute."

"Do you have flowers? Cause I wanna go get some flowers!"

[cryptodynxmic-blog]

leotardedxloser:

                “Geoff’s cars.                         All of them.”

                             ❝ ʜᴏᴡ ᴛʜᴇ fᴜᴄᴋ did you manage to blow up all of them? ❞

[cryptodynxmic-blog]

markipleir:

[ contact ; mikeymike » sent 10:29 pm. ] i’m glad for that. [ contact ; mikeymike » sent 10:30 pm. ] at least i’ll have my integrity 

     [ msg » markishit. » sent ] well i mean. you also have a broken finger      [ msg » markishit. » sent ] so i dont know if i consider that complete success

[rpmememaker]

Torture my character sentence meme

[cryptodynxmic-blog]

Make them cry

"I never loved you."

"You’re the reason they’re dead!"

"It’s all your fault!"

"Who could ever love you…?"

"You’re so stupid. So weak."

"Just go away. I don’t want you here."

Blackmail them

"Who would’ve thought a sweet thing like you would have such a secret?"

"I’ll tell everyone. Scream so loud the country will hear."

"I have a friend with a radio station, you know. Broadcast it all over the city."

"If you want this back, you’ll do whatever I say!"

"Be a good little slave, you don’t want your secret out, do you?"

"I know everything. I can ruin you."

"Beg me, and I might consider keeping my mouth shut."

Interrogate them

"Sing, birdie."

"I know exactly how to make you talk."

"You know some fascinating things, don’t you?"

"I’ll use your greatest weaknesses against you, and you know I know them all."

"I have means of extracting information from you."

"I might play with you a little longer after you’ve talked. You’re too cute."

"You’re tough. But I’ll break you."

Yell at them

"You idiot! You dumbass! You- you fucking moron!"

"You’re absolutely useless, aren’t you?!"

"What the fuck have you done this time!"

"You don’t care about anyone but yourself!"

"You’re not human! You’re a monster!"

"You’re a disgusting little rat!"

"You’ve fucked up for the last time!"

Physically hurt them

"What, can’t take a punch?"

"I’ll kill you!"

"It’s only a scratch, asshole!"

"Don’t move, or I’ll shoot you!"

"I’ll slit your damn throat!"

"Kiss my shoes or I’ll stomp your head in half."

"I didn’t mean to draw blood, but oh well."

"That’s going to bruise."

Torture them… gently

"You want some of this cake? C’moooon, beg for it!"

"Guess what? SURPRISE ICE BUCKET CHALLENGE!"

"Tickle-tickle-tickle! Kitchy kitchy koo!"

"Whaaaat? Is this yours? You can’t have it back, it’s mine now!"

"I’ll stop singing when hell freezes over!"

"Get in the locker, shorty!"

"Annoying? Me? Annoying?"

[cryptodynxmic-blog]

markipleir:

[ contact ; mikeymike » sent 10:27 pm. ] are you serious rn [ contact ; mikeymike » sent 10:27 pm. ] i cannot believe myself honestly

     [ msg » markishit. » sent ] i am honestly not surprised      [ msg » markishit. » sent ] sadly i didn’t have enough brain function to use a camera.

[likestoslayarchive]

( texts from last night ✉ send one for my muse's reaction )

( text ) : uh, do you have my pants because i have yours

( text ) : let’s play another game of whose boxers are hanging on my fence

( text ) : update. a gay guy just told me that i’m the most beautiful thing with a vagina he has ever seen. how should i feel about this?

( text ) : i’m sorry about all the inappropriate shoe throwing.

( text ) : you killed a bottle of bacardi in 20 minutes. so much for being an organ donor.

( text ) : why can’t burritos get me drunk?

( text ) : i know you’re on a date and i should leave you alone, but about twenty minutes ago, i realized i haven’t been spanked in years so if you’re still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.

( text ) : why is my bath tub filled with mud?

( text ) : i’ve noticed we slowly have begun to phase the “b” out of our bromace.

( text ) : you just jumped of the couch and yelled “hidden tiger crouching dragon!” that’s the answer to how you broke your finger.

( text ) : this is what my life has come to. drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me

( text ) : if i open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.

( text ) : apparently all year, they’ve been using me as a standard for drunkenness.

( text ) : all i’m saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding i wash the stolen dye from his hair. i’m not doing that a second time.

( text ) : i need to stop drunkenly getting naked. i’m losing all my party clothes.

( text ) : please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. i mean he’s the one with paint on his face. i don’t need him judge judying me.

( text ) : sooooo, how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital, but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?

( text ) : hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.

( text ) : so much for not drinking this week after this weekend. congrats, you made it until tuesday.

( text ) : i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.