i want to believe

"I learned to stay true to myself by watching myself die"

[crystal-jemi]

What went wrong

This would be a lot easier to answer if I knew who you were soooo ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[dutchstore]

Last minute Christmas prep by Zach King

[crystal-jemi]

“You have someone who would do anything for you. I envy that.”

I’m alone. Some part of me has always known that. I lost my family ties when I left Kansas and my egg donor started telling me lies about them. I’ve moved so often, I never got to keep friends for long. I don’t know what it’s like to have a parent or sibling sticking by me, watching out for me. I’ve only been in love once, but the conditions made sure nothing came of it. 

Until recently, I haven’t accepted that I’m lonely, too. My one constant has been the Mezas. They’ve been wonderful to me, even took me in for a month when I had nowhere else to go. I’m terrible at keeping up with them. I wish I wasn’t. I don’t know want I want, exactly. A parent. A long-time friend. To be in love. I ruined my relationship with the closest thing I’ve known to a sibling. I want someone I’m not worried about losing. Someone I’m not going to drive away.

I’m not sure I’m going to find it.

Edit:: I think a better way to phrase it, is that I want to feel connected to something.

[crystal-jemi]

Today I realized it’s been ten years since I died

I used to be a dork in public. I used to be outgoing. I was creative. I was happy and mostly functional. And then it stopped. I became closed off, cold, angry and hurt. I’m not sure what happened. Being pulled out of school was surely part of it, but that’s not all. There’s a gap in my memory, and I can’t seem to think through it. I want to be the person I was again.

[crystal-jemi]

"A good photographer does not simply use their camera - they *become* the camera" Huuuuuuge thank you to @astraea_arts for this picture! I tried doing one of his levitating photos, but I couldn't quite get it right. But we managed to get this shot, and I'm so happy! #cosplay #lifeisstrange #lifeisstrangegame #lis #dontnod #maxcaulfield

[crystal-jemi]

First motorcycle ride *_* #motorcycle

[crystal-jemi]

Got my #maryjane wig the other day! It's a little more burgundy than I expected, but I love the color! Plus it's soooo soft~ I was going to be MJ at the Marvel vs DC meetup this weekend, but it got rescheduled 😞 Eventually, I'll also use it for Poison Ivy, but that's a bit farther down the road. Can't wait to cosplay these ladies~! #maryjanewatson #spiderman #poisonivy #batman #marvel #dc #dccomics #cosplay

[crystal-jemi]

She noticed I was down, and thought it would cheer me up~ So sweet! 💃💃💃#selfie

[crystal-jemi]

I've had this lipstick forever but never used it. Just wanted to see if I could pull it off :) #lipstick #makeup

[dundermifflingifs]

[crystal-jemi]

Last selfie as a brunette vs. first selfie as a redhead~ #hair #hairdye

[crystal-jemi]

This guy was giving out free donuts at Desert Breeze~ Thanks dude!

[crystal-jemi]

Finally learned how to do this big, fluffy bun! Thanks @larlarlee! #hair

[crystal-jemi]

This is the best brownie I've ever had. Praise be to slickables ❤❤❤ #icecream #slickables

[crystal-jemi]

@danierikaa ran out of pokeballs and insisted on going to the pokestops near us to get more. It is 11pm. I'm tired. My hair is a mess. I am in my sleep clothes. Still did it it, though. She can never doubt my love for her :P #pokemongo #pokemon #iwascomfy

[makeupfans]

Color correcting makeup is the newest makeup trend that can elevate your beauty routine. Concealers that correct redness and blemishes can give you a flawless complexion, so here is why you should try color correcting products now!

[dailyrey]

[fatherofthebride]

#WHEN HER LIL FACE GOES ALL SCRUNCHY REBLOG IF YOU AGREE