Crystallized Writings

Wordsmith for the fun of it, plus I like sharing my pictures:)

[crystallizedwritings]

The waltz of our lips is what I miss most

The intimacy of each step, dip, and twirl

I'd lie if I said I didn't feel empty-handed

Without your waist within my grasp

And I promised I'd be honest, so here I lay

Reminiscing our incomparable love

Selfishly wanting you by my side

Instead of learning to love a me that's without you because the only me I want is the me I am with you

Yes I'm aware that's unavailable, the reasoning's tried and well-justified

So I'm back to square one

Missing you molding into my body when we held each other, falling into unconsciousness

And your hands perfectly fitting mine

Knowing that those hands are no longer mine to hold

Such truths are devastating, but what more can I do than accept what I cannot change?

[silversongsuggestion]

Sometimes, I think there are no divine tests. There is no judge waiting among skulls to tell me how my heart failed to beat the right rhythm. There is no hand to hold as I tumble down this spiral, off this cliff.

But it feels divine.

I am thinking about eating fresh strawberries with whipped cream, our smiles sticky with sugar. Our fingers glued together. A beautiful spring mess.

I am thinking about entangling my veins in his so that he can feel how every breath, every tightening of my bones, every aching step, is for him to go on.

There are no divine tests.

But a boy with River veins and Stone hands is filled with malcontent. Each footfall is a rainstorm. Each faux laugh. I want to mold him into what I have lost. This is wrong, I know. But i think i could pinch his cheeks just right, darken his complexion just so, teach him the right words. He would be a mirror.

This too shall pass. This urge to recreate the friends I have had from the bodies and minds of strangers. I am no god to rip the rib of River Stones and birth something new. I am not to create a shadow.

I am thinking about going home and crying in the shower, and I want it so badly it is tangible. I want to grieve again. Not for the loss, but just to say I have lost.

How to explain to someone that their laugh, stance, movement of their hands isn't theirs.

Sir, you are the corpse of someone I loved. An echo. I am sorry. I will never look at you and not see someone else. Forgive me.

There are no divine tests, but sometimes when faced with an echo, it really feels like Ma'at is watching with a sparkle in her eyes.

Am I doing good by you, Stars and Gods?

[crystallizedwritings]

In Love With A Sorceress

You orchestrate the symphony of smiles on my face

Mindlessly you wield powers of kindness and mindfully impress me with your blatant, unyielding prowess

Limitless your magic seems to be

I stand no chance against this potent wizardry

Sorceress I succumb, I willingly submit, to your love-lock spell

Dare I say I enjoy this emotionally driven incarceration

Which oddly enough feels more like liberation despite my constant vulnerability

Weakness consistently exhibited but never exploited or detested

I'm nearly convinced the true punishment of submission lies among the bordering insanity resulting from complete and utter confusion

Her lassiez-faire rule vastly differs from the toxicity of my accustomed authoritarian rule

I'm growing to deeply love my enchanting jailor, keeper of my fragile heart, how unexpected yet wholly welcomed

Enchantress consume my all, for it is fully yours

[crystallizedwritings]

I am a woman of redundancies but even the strongest seas consistently crash against shorelines and the brightest suns repeatedly rise and fall.

[crystallizedwritings]

She is worth it all

I knew I was in love with you the moment I realized every ounce of terror within my vulnerability was worth it all.

[crystallizedwritings]

My love, I long for you

My love, how much longer should I long for you?

I’ve walked amongst stars and dined with fairies, yet none possess my love for you my dearest sunflower

How many more ticks and tocks will pound in my ears before I once again hold you ever so tightly

Pulling you closely, no force of any kind could separate us

How I miss your warmth, smile, and kindness

Your enviable love you graciously spent on me

My fingertips crave the sensation of tracing the lengths of your ethereal body

The overwhelming wanting is enough to drive any man mad

I’d give my all for one last touch

Our palms grazing, you wiping away my tears, the back of my hand caressing your cheek, my lips on your nose or forehead

Anything would suffice if it meant you were near, and not just near but HERE

With me.

Together.

[crystallizedwritings]

A Little Blue

Baby you say you’re feeling a little blue, I feel helpless, whatever shall I do?

Your essence of warmth now a wintry hue, we must find a way to bid this sadness adieu.

Darling would it help you if you knew, how wholly I love you through and through?

What words can I possibly construe, to make you smile, tried and true?

My love I think you have absolutely no clue, how priceless I perceive you from my point of view.

Every time I look at you it’s like a sneak preview, to the rest of my wonderful life with you.

Gliding down the isle, a white dress making its debut, my stunning bride-to-be passing by every pew.

Closer and closer, I know I’ll faint from such a lovely view.

We’ll say our vows and lastly each our own “I do”, and celebrate by opening bottles of wine with our corkscrew.

I want a big house with you on 5th avenue, with plenty of books, plants, and maybe a kazoo.

We’ll cook homemade meals from fajitas to beef stew, and teach our kids kindness, honesty, and loyalty to name a few.

This life I swear I’m desperate to pursue, it won’t always be easy, but I’m sure we’ll get through.

Now I must ask without further ado, 

My dearest, do you now feel less blue?

[crystallizedwritings]

What lies beyond the hidden bend, I care not. As long as she remains by my side, I'll readily face anything and everything that's to come.

[crystallizedwritings]

Colorful Love

You stare at the cerulean sky, suddenly graced by a vibrant rainbow. You view in wonder and amazement, a smile appears.

You look away, grateful for such a sight and move forward.

You then see rainbow clothes, bracelets, and flags, smile once obvious now obliviated, a scowl now taking its place. Growing deeper and deeper with each item of rainbow propaganda passing by. Disgust builds, annoyance presides every conscious thought. A blatant rainbow love breaks your fragile temper. Words of hatred reverberated towards colorful lovers.

I ask you simply- why?

What is so different between the two? Rainbows bring joy as does love, yes, even colorful love.

Why direct anger at happiness?

How can you look at a translucent band of colors with more admiration and respect than individuals bettering the world by loving each other?

Can you fault them for seeking happiness for themselves?

Why can't they be left in peace to live happily?

What business is it of yours if others choose not to live the way you do?

What if others tried to elimate your capacity to live as you chose through societal pressure, judgement, and self-righteous anger?

Are you God?

I think not.

Who are you to say who is condemned?

No one.

How dare you even momentarily believe you have the authority to exact that form of judgement?

If you truly believe the word you claim to believe, God would be disappointed for only he can judge.

On another note, he is a God of love, so why not love?

Choose to love as the God you believe in does- limitless and unconditionally.

There's enough hate.

Stop it.

We could all use more amor on this Earth anyway.

[crystallizedwritings]

Malicious Addiction

My arms are empty and painless

They miss their linear etchings of long ago

I lie awake craving the cool metal and its bloody trails

My love, I swear I’ll prevail and withstand this malicious addiction

I want my arms to be their softest when they embrace you once again

So no engraving will mark my wanting skin tonight

[crystallizedwritings]

Flying

We're on our way and chasing sunsets

Lover love, we've almost made it

Those orange hues are within our grasp

Our life's beginning's nearly starting

My drunken ponderings nothing but bygones

Perhaps, I inwardly hope, these bygones will accumalate some amount of significance

But until then I think and hurt and love and laugh

She hears my thoughts, heals my wounds, loves me unconditionally, and laughs uninhibitedly

For such things I'm forever indebted and irreparably in love with her

This same woman I now fly with towards my orange-tinged, uncertain future

Though one thing I'm certain of is our happiness

She comprises the majority of this coveted emotion within my soul, and I in hers

I've never smiled so brightly towards the rest of my days as I've had with her by my side

My sunflower, you give me purpose

Sunshine would be useless without the life it creates

I'll fulfill my purpose, we'll build our lives and home

Together we will create, endure, and enjoy

This life is ours for the taking

And I swear on mine it'll be the best I can give you

[crystallizedwritings]

Solar rays fade and blend into the fiery horizon afar

The flaming heart within my chest warms my soul with thoughts of you

Although time and distance build their formidable gaps between our bodies,

Memory instills the imprint of your embrace on my mind and skin

Instant reassurance settles and gently paints a soft smile upon once trembling lips

Your overwhelming love remains both incomparable and incomprehensible

I'm in continual awe of the depth of your amorous intrusion within my mechanical heart and head

Darling, what romantic sorcery have you wrought upon me?

[crystallizedwritings]

Love Yourself For Us

You need to love yourself for both you and her. You might think, "she deserves better, the best the world can offer." She is, after all, the one who placed the stars in your eyes. Despite that, she saw you and thought, "they're my entire universe." Don't disrespect your celestial queen by rejecting the ideation of someone caring for you profoundly due to your underdeveloped sense of self-esteem. Instead, gratuitously and humbly accept your place as her elected partner.

[crystallizedwritings]

Missing You In The Darkness

I love you more than I love sunrises and sunsets.

I tell the sun not to rise because I don't want it to signify another day where I begin my morning without you, but then it rises anyway.

When the sun starts to set, I yell defiantly at Her to stop because it will have meant I have spent the day without seeing you, but She not only refuses to listen to me, She dares to dip below the horizon and hide away. The moment She's gone, the sky embraces His darkness and emulates the emptiness within my longing heart. He obscures the mournful tears escaping their oval confinement and racing down my covered face. My hands now taste of their salty essence, matching the salty scent of the shore embedded in my nostrils. I'm grateful for His black rays enveloping me, the world need not know the pitiful sight of me missing you.

[crystallizedwritings]

Incompetent

Just because what I shoulder is mine alone doesn’t mean I am capable of bearing such burdens.

[crystallizedwritings]

Angel Love, Fall For Me Please

My darling I've fallen for you

Every fragment of your essence wholly adored by yours, truly

Your wondrous body I yearn to worship with my wanting tongue and lips

I desperately miss the taste of you in my unholy mouth

Lord forbid I taint an angel

But even angels have fallen

God, I pray you've fallen for me too

[crystallizedwritings]

“So ironic my heart’s timing” I laugh in bittersweet tones

Mocking complete absurdity, I dabbled in Love’s affair

Consequences are nearing, dread fills my quivering bones

Cupid's come to assassinate, He weaponizes despair

His arrow flies and I'm struck. His work is done. Now here I lay with empathy and vulnerability bleeding out of my body. I see my darkening vision and wonder what's to become of my drained, sorry carcass. The blood dries and encrusts the entirety of my flesh, to protect and serve as a reminder of what's been done in consequence to naïve, blind trust. Eventually my hollow frame once again rises, soul and purpose lost. Meaningless life, please end, I'm thoroughly exhausted of pointlessness.