Light A Roman Candle With Me

i enjoy long walks to the band room

[trashboat]

[uglythug-deactivated20181112]

Cmon…. support your boy….. he’s nervous….

[trashboat]

brad once fed me pepper spray without my knowledge

[edromyheart]

My landlord came to fix an issue to day with the apartment. He looks around the living room at the decor and the newly painted walls.

In a heavy Russian accent: “Your wife have very good sense of style.”

Me: “Actually, I live here alone.”

Landlord: “Ah, homosexual. Figured. I live in the apartment under you.”

Me: 😳

[itsaruse]

[theocseason4]

[bill]

ARE YOU READY FOR SOME FOOBAW

[12313234578686856746877-deactiv]

[VERY SMALL VOICE] foobaw!

[theshitneyspears]

When I see drama start to happen at a party:

[guryo-moved-to-guryo-again]

tag your superbowl spoilers

[governmentplates-deactivated202]

Tom Brady dies

[whitepeopletwitter]

[muppetlesbian]

a power move

[mayumi-sato]

When I started dating my boyfriend, I was really doubtful that he would keep his interest in me and I didn’t want to have any expectations about it. One day, when my mom asked “How is the guy you’re dating?”, I told her “We’re not really dating, we just walk around together”. She added him in her phone as “Andre, the walker”. We’ve been in a serious relationship for two years. He is still “Andre, the walker” in her phone.

[whitepeopletwitter]

[muppetlesbian]

a power move

[delusion-of-negation]

Results so far

[jujuoh]

ok so our titty choices are now: cubism, jpeg, manga, and Picasso’s Blue Period

[humorblr]

[reallyreallyreallytrying]

dead leafs? that’s called yard salad now. and it’s the new food trend.

[xenso-remade]

leaves*

[holyrights-deactivated20211021]

where are you going

[popokko-deactivated20210315]

me: hmm what happens if i forcibly bend this thing

thing: *breaks*

me:

[jessicacapshaw]

working in retail

[weavemama]

SHOUTOUT TO THE MISS PERU 2018 CONTESTANTS FOR GIVING STATS ABOUT WOMEN’S ISSUES INSTEAD OF THEIR BODY MEASUREMENTS

[tropiuz-deactivated20200618]

AHHH PERÚ DID THAT!!!

[whatistheplan-deactivated201712]

Man found the stoplight cameras were activated during yellow lights and decided to cut the wires of it.

[loremerchant]

Florida Man: Chaotic evil. New York Man: Chaotic good.

[danielodowd-deactivated20170124]

[alexander]

ppl with the kim possible text tone be putting their phone on loud and waiting for people to text them in public. girl we heard it