holes in my false confidence

independent mass effect oc janus decens / c-sec detective / turian / written by jay

[csecdetective]

             sometimes, i tell you, the way that i feel? i swear that i’m going crazy          keep telling myself it ain’t that big a deal; it’s better than pushing up daisies

                                      csecdetective

                                          rules & dossier                              follows from @cinnamonspices

[csecdetective]

I know the turian behind the counter looks different but ever since @facedtogether suggested it to me, I've been really thinking hard abt that turian helping the orphaned refugee girl in the holding area being Janus. He has a nephew, Milon, who's ten. He really likes kids.

If it was him tho he'd absolutely adopt that kid post-war.

[rpsourcedmemes]

Ask my muse anything you want on anon!

[csecdetective]

misc sentence starters

@risensung said: “  can i help you?  ”

The inquiry actually caught the turian off-guard, his head aimed in some random direction, and with his visor off, it didn't even occur to him in the moment that someone might think he was looking directly at them. Blinking a few times, mostly out of instinct, Janus canted his head slightly towards the voice.

The result was as close to a sheepish grin as the detective could manage, his mandibles spread as he chuckled, one hand lifting to scratch at the plates on the back of his neck.

He really needed to be more careful about that.

"Ah... hey, sorry, I didn't mean for it to look like I was staring." His other hand came up, waving briefly in front of his face. "I can't really see much of anything. I hope I didn't disturb you any- are you needing some assistance? I'm off duty, but I'd be happy to help."

[leneemusing]

misc sentence starters

“  i wish i knew how to talk about it.  ”   “  you don’t have to talk, we can just sit together.  ”   “  i don’t want to be alone anymore.  ”   “  i wish i could hate you.  ”  “  take a seat, we’re gonna be here a while.  ” “  i need you to trust me.  ”   “  i missed/miss you.  ”   “  she/he won’t listen to me.  ” “  let me do this for you. please.  ”   “  is there anything else you want to say to me?  ” “  tell me something happy.  ”   “  promise me.  ” “  i just want/wanted to help.  ”   “  let me explain.  ” “  i didn’t/don’t need you to understand, i just wanted/want you to support me.  ”   “  i’m on your side.  ” “  i’ve got your back, okay? ” “  please, tell me you have a plan.  ” “  stay with me tonight.  ” “  don’t go. please.  ”   “  i’ve been alone for so long i’m afraid i don’t know what it’s like not to be.  ”   “  talk to me.  ”   “  i did what i had to do.  ” “  we can’t keep going on like this.  ” “  i’m just tired.  ” “  i’m scared.  ” “  it’s okay to be afraid. fear can be good. use it.  ” “  it’s better to expect disappointment.  ” “  hope is dangerous.  ” “  i like seeing you smile.  ”   “  you look beautiful.  ”   “  be patient with her/him. they’re trying. ”   “  i’m trying my best and it’s not good enough. it’s never good enough. ” “  i’m starting to think i’m just fucked up.  ”   “  have a drink with me.  ” “  she/he is better off without me. but i guess that’s their choice.  ” “  you can’t dictate what’s best for someone else. ” “  can i help you?  ” “  i thought you’d like this.  ” “  do you wanna get out of here?  ” “  walk with me?  ” “  well, shit.  ”

[hempkitty]

can someone please be proud of me like fuck I’m trying

[cargoholdb]

csecdetective​:

“Don’t think much things could be a bigger mood killer than the war, Frank. Still, there’s hope in all this mess, regardless.”

Janus chuckled at the thought, shaking his head against the notion of killing any kind of mood. Being on duty down here meant the mood was already pretty difficult to handle, but they were sticking through it anyway. The masses of huddled bodies, though, were difficult for him to really comprehend.

All his visor gave him were swaths of “color” in his mind, registering heat and proximity, and endless pings of both current identification and lack thereof. He couldn’t fathom it being any easier, even if he had still been able to see.

“Spirits are… hard to define, I think. The Citadel has a spirit of strength and power. My old squad had the spirit of energy and comraderie. Things just… have spirits. Don’t know if people do. It’s nice to think about, though, especially with this. Makes that whole salarian concept of reincarnation feel really tempting.”

That was true, even though the war hadn’t reached them yet the docks were getting more and more crowded. He wondered how the turian was holding up, handled being surrounded by more people and noises every day. It was only one of the reasons why he’d requested Bailey for a transfer instead of the patrolling at the embassies. Frank knew he could at least make himself useful again down here.

“It is. Some human religions have that concept as well… Who knows, maybe we had it adapted from the salarians at some point in history.” He noted, watching one of their colleagues checking in yet another bunch of kids that recently had been evacuated from their outposts. 

“The arrivals are getting more and more younger…” Frank let out a small sigh, almost thankful about that he wasn’t on active duty anymore since he was posted on Nepmos back in the days then turned back to fully face Janus again.

“We’re lucky to still be the more optimistic ones, guess that’s why Bailey’s granted the transfer without trouble. Either that or he knew we’re attracting the ones who need cheering up most.” 

[csecdetective]

Janus's mandibles twitched outwards briefly, his head tipping slightly in the direction of the intake station. The age of many of these refugees was absolutely heartbreaking to him- many of them reminded him of his own nephew Milon. He'd only recently received word that the boy and his father had safely gotten off Palaven... a relief, but not by much, as it felt like the war crept closer to the Citadel by the day.

Fixing his visor back on his head, he waited a moment or so to adjust, then turned his attention back towards Frank, the set of his mandibles indicating a grin crossing the turian's face.

"Optimism is all we can have. Spirits know I've seen enough pain in my time to keep being all gloom and doom about it. Pretty sure my sister would reanimate from the beyond and smack me one right up the underside of my fringe if I got all dour about things."

A faint movement of heat through his visor caught his attention, a child appearing to wave in their direction from the side of what appeared to be a slightly older child.

Waving back, he sighed softly. "Best we can do is be here. And hey, how many times in their lives will kids be able to see they saw a human and a blind turian as partners patrolling the docks? May not be as exciting as some other things, but kids love stuff like that."

[csecdetective]

“Fantasy High” Starter Sentences

@bloodythumbprints said: “Bad things happen to good people because things happen and it’s up to people too determine what good.”

Perhaps it was his blindness... perhaps it was his history with the turian military. Whichever one it was, Janus rarely trusted easily, and he was on guard even now, listening to the stranger talk with a faint flick of his mandibles. His visor hadn't given him much in the way of useful information...

...but he was supposed to be off duty. That someone else had spoken up after his off-handed comment to one of his departing cohorts in C-Sec had genuinely taken him by surprise. Not an easy feat, but it had taken him off-guard.

"Maybe. But if that's the case, then that kinda leaves everyone to make their own interpretation of good. I've never been good at seeing things in hypotheticals-"

A pause, followed by a harsh laugh, mandibles flicking outward as he gave his head a faint shake.

"Then again, can't say I see much of anything these days."

[cargoholdb]

"Oh no just you." Frank returned the friendly smile as he listened. It was a quite fitting description for his the past two years of his own, when he thought back to Sovereign's attack of the citadel that had cost the lives of his wife and little boy.

"Turian spirituality sounds fascinating if we share the same meaning for Spirit." he mused. "If it means they're still with us even after the person is gone."

Frank shook his head, leaning against the desk as his eyes wandered about the constantly filling make-shift refugee camp of the Docks. "Sorry, didn't plan to tank the mood."

[csecdetective]

"Don't think much things could be a bigger mood killer than the war, Frank. Still, there's hope in all this mess, regardless."

Janus chuckled at the thought, shaking his head against the notion of killing any kind of mood. Being on duty down here meant the mood was already pretty difficult to handle, but they were sticking through it anyway. The masses of huddled bodies, though, were difficult for him to really comprehend.

All his visor gave him were swaths of "color" in his mind, registering heat and proximity, and endless pings of both current identification and lack thereof. He couldn't fathom it being any easier, even if he had still been able to see.

"Spirits are... hard to define, I think. The Citadel has a spirit of strength and power. My old squad had the spirit of energy and comraderie. Things just... have spirits. Don't know if people do. It's nice to think about, though, especially with this. Makes that whole salarian concept of reincarnation feel really tempting."

[csecdetective]

“Fantasy High” Starter Sentences

@cargoholdb said: “We all fall short of the grace of God.”

"If that's the case, this mysterious god must've tossed me away from whatever grace they'd give like a... ah, what is it you humans call that thing? A football?"

Janus gave a faint snort after that, turning his visor in his hands as his head tipped to one side. It was easy to think sometimes that he'd been cursed somewhere along the way. Foolish as the notion was, it was easier than dealing with the truth of simply being the recipient of a long kicking chain of bad luck.

Still, he tried to keep a semblance of a smile on his face, his mandibles spreading slightly to the side as he turned his head towards his companion.

"I'm just kidding, anyway." Or at least partially. "Human spirituality always felt so focused to me. Spirits don't have agendas or notions of grace or healing or redemption or damnation. They just kind of... exist. An ideal, I guess, more than a thing."

[rpmemesiwanttosee]

“Fantasy High” Starter Sentences

“I shall leap into Hell and kill the Devil himself!”

“We all fall short of the grace of God.”

“Ah, adventurers. Do whatever we want with no consequence. The [_____] way!”

“There is only one way to make a difference in this world, and it is to freak the fuck out all the time and just fuck shit right up.”

“Risk is inevitable in the lives of those that seek to do great works upon the face of the world. Danger, combat, and even death. These are the things we risk to make a difference.”

“This dude fucks.”

“If you got the ticket you gotta take the ride, kid.”

“Laws are threats made by the dominant socioeconomic-ethnic group in a given nation. It’s just the promise of violence that’s enacted and the police are basically an occupying army.”

“Bad things happen to good people because things happen and it’s up to people too determine what good.”

“[_____], together, we will conquer this world of mortals and send their souls to hell!

"Yes, yes in due time, [_____]. Now, to the ice cream shop!”

“The crazy thing is, you’re just playing into my hand. Welcome to my game, you just did exactly what I wanted you to do.”

“I used to deal drugs out of a nightclub, and now I’m the guidance counselor here.”

“Fuckin’ straight up, like, “WHAT’S GOOD?!” Like, all of the fance and kind of air I care about is gone in this moment of just pure, “FUCK! YOU! DOG! WOOOOOO! WOOOOOOOO! WOOOOOOOO!"”

“I don’t know how long it’s gonna take me, but I’m gonna eat you, bitch!”

“Everything in this world is bullshit. But understanding how is key.”

[effectingsomedragons]

Just got my finalized commission back and… I’d like to present my dear sweet boy Janus Decens! C-Sec detective, jokester, just generally an all around sweet guy with a great sense of humor. Janus went blind as a result of a rare autoimmune disease, hence the look of his eyes.

I’m so pleased with him; look how handsome he is!

Commission from the fantastic @/squared2theroot on Twitter!

[csecdetective]

It is worth noting that Janus’s visor is BY NO MEANS a replacement for actual vision. He can “see” on the EM spectrum while wearing it, which allows him to see heat signatures in vague shapes, and a sort of rudimentary form of echolocation that helps him navigate. It does not work through walls or windows, and excessive interference in an area can cause some scrambling of the information he gets.

As far as the ability to register someone’s identification from public registration information either on an omnitool or someone’s rank in CSec or a people’s military, this is also limited by proximity and what information is publicly available. It can also be fooled by well made fake IDs and identification scramblers.

It’s an extremely useful tool, but it is not a catch-all.

[csecdetective]

“There’s some people in the galaxy I like much better with my visor off.”

[csecdetective]

I’m getting a commission of Janus from @/squared2theroot on twitter and just the sketch preview looks amazing so far.

My sweet blind boy.

[lyricalmusingstuff]

                                       By  the  way…                                                     I made it  through  the day.

[csecdetective]

             sometimes, i tell you, the way that i feel? i swear that i’m going crazy          keep telling myself it ain’t that big a deal; it’s better than pushing up daisies

                                      csecdetective

                                          rules & dossier                              follows from @cinnamonspices