ACTUAL hoe tips
(From your local hoe, this will be broken down into parts, you can add what you want if its relevant, be safe babies)
BASIC
- know who youโre hooking up with and where you will be
- know what the relationship is: one night stand, friends with benefits, an every now and then type thing, something else???
- bring a hoe bag (i personally have one in my room just ready to go, but sometimes Iโll have one in my car) my hoe bag includes: baby wipes, two pairs of underwear, condoms, satin scrunchies (Iโll explain in a bit), my other pair of glasses, phone charger, cash (Iโll explain why this is smart also), travel toothbrush, speedy stick (deodorant), and mouthwash.
MAKEUP
- i donโt care what anyone says, no lipstick is blowjob proof, if your lipstick is bj proof youโre probably not doing a good job
- donโt want your makeup to transfer / sweat off your face? Urban decay all nighter setting spray, believe me it lives up to its name
- waterproof mascara is your friendโฆyou know why
HAIR
- hair ties are nice if you or the person youโre with have longer hair. Sex wise i almost never have my hair down, i have a lot of hair, and it gets warm
- satin scrunchies are perfect if youโre spending the night and want soft waves in the morning and minimal bed head
- i personally do not take showers at other peoples houses but if you do and you wanna wash your hair having your own shampoo and conditioner is nice
SEX (here we go)
-remember what i said about blowjobs?? In my personal opinion getting spitty is good, thats why I donโt bother with lipstick because then youโll just have lipstick smeared all over your face? Unless youโre into that..then knock yourself out
-USE. YOUR. HANDS. Iโm not joking when i say that every person i have ever given a blowjob has been ABSOLUTELY blown away, use your hands to do the work that your mouth cant! Have a sensitive gag reflex? Use your hands and twist that wrist! Theres probably a video or two on this that can give you visual help (if i find it I will link it)
-the clit? Itโs your best friend
-mouth getting tired? Using your fingers when it comes to someone with a vagina is useful
-mix it up, draw circles with your tongue, suck on the clit while doing some light fingering, draw the abcโs, long sensual licks, makeout with someoneโs lower lips like you would their face, everyone is different, find out what they like
- keep an eye up, i like to know know what works the best or makes a person make THAT face, the face when you know for a Snapple fact that they are feeling it, whenever you switch up peer upwards and see if they look into it or if theyโre checking their phone (that has actually happened to me)
- have a certain position youโre into? Make that known, closed mouths donโt get fed
- your first time hooking up with someone is NOT the time to decide to do anal
- donโt be a dead fish or a pillow princess, if youโre not into whats happening by all means stop and redirect how you want it to go, or pack up and leave
- Iโm a very direct person in the bedroom, i know what i like i 97% of the time know what the other person wants/likes, sometimes i donโt, if you donโt know how theyโre feeling about something ASK. There should be no shame in asking someone if โis this ok?โ Or โdo you like that?โ
- be careful with dirty talk, some people are SUPER coy and not into that, some people are reallllyyyyy into dirty talk
- ANY kink that youโre thinking about having during sex should be talked about BEFOREHAND not everyone has the same kinks as you do, not everyone is into the same things that you are, be respectful
DIRTY TALK / SEXY THINGS TO SAY (some easy / simple phrases to see if the other person is into it if not previously stated otherwise)
- moanโฆ.youโd think this is a no brainer but Iโve had quite a couple of people be almost completely silent besides an occasional whispered โfuckโ if you or your parter moans that lets you both know youโre into it and feeling whats happening. Also moaning is hot
- โdonโt stopโ
- โdo you like the way ______ (kiss, fuck, lick, suck, etc) you?โ
- โyou ________ (feel, look, taste) so goodโ
- โi cant wait to see your face when you cumโ
AFTERCARE
- please go pee. Seriously go pee after having sex.
- these are when your baby wipes come in handy
- clean yourself and your partner up after sex. That falling asleep after sex thing is NOT for me personally and i donโt know of anyone who like falling asleep sticky or wet
-planning on staying the night? Hereโs where your underwear in your hoe bag and phone charger come in
- not staying the night? That extra cash is for a cab if you donโt have Uber, or maybe you want a McChiken after sex (i get hungry)
โโโโโโโโโโโโโโ-
Thats what i got! Lemme know if you like this, want me to add more, or have any questions or concerns!!!
