pain and delicious flaky biscuits

27 | They/them | Asexual | A clusterfuck of fandoms and shitposts.

[atrusovaartist]

acrylic, canvas 40*50 cm «Lighthouse of the Northern Sunset» 2025

[mephostophilis]

are non brits aware of count binface.

[mephostophilis]

to give some entirely bizarre context, nigel farage (extreme cunt) has stepped down from his position as MP for clacton (due to a scandal where he received £5 million from a crypto billionaire that could have been laundered) only to run again so that he can prove people like him. and the only person running against him is count binface. who has been a staple of british politics for many years. and now the british press is forced to interview him seriously while he sits there with his binface.

[spell-fox]

For context Farage can't be prosecuted for this while not in office. His tactic is to be re-elected to show he is a man of the people beating all other parties (and therefore laws don't apply??). Other parties have chosen not to run ostensibly because it lends legitimacy to his stunt but more likely because it is a Reform stronghold and they are unlikely to challenge him anyway.

Except in the hour of need, a binface stepped up.

So either he gets in and is prosecuted, or he loses to a bin.

[savrenim]

......suddenly struck by the idea for a piece of worldbuilding of "fae don't like iron bc it is the most stable element*"

*as in elements higher you can extract energy via fission and lower you can extract energy via fusion but iron itself there is no excess binding energy to extract at all

[savrenim]

YOU. YOU SEE MY VISION.

[ospreyonthemoon]

People: exposure to the fae realms makes you weak and sickly. Because of the fae

The fae: wow wow wow i LOVE uranium!!!! We should put it ALLLL over our land!!! This won't cause problems!

[whumpster-fire]

What people think is the problem with going in Faerie Mounds: the food is cursed

What the actual problem is: Radon. So much radon.

[sunflowerbutch]

🥚

crack egg directly into hot pan, scramble while cooking

crack egg directly into cold pan, stir/scramble, then cook

crack egg into bowl, whisk or stir, THEN pour into pan and cook

other

results

Voting ended onMar 31, 2024

[coughloop]

[leopardmask-ao3]

Or you use a plastic/silicon spatula?? Or a silicon whisk?? go to literally any dollar store they have shitty plastic/silicon kitchen utensils you can scramble eggs with without scratching up your pans

[great-and-small]

Now that’s what I call

[great-and-small]

@rpepperpotshipssciencebros please forgive me for this one

[son-of-drogo]

I hate this site so much.

[storm-of-feathers]

a severe thunderstorm warning that doesnt follow through is worse than orgasm denial

[transmortifried]

idk why people are still trying to do "hear me out"s on tumblr

you could talk about wanting to fuck the space needle on here and people would still call you a poser for insisting on fucking "conventionally attractive architecture" as if that's a coherent, easily-recognizable category

[charlesoberonn]

I want to fuck Antoni Gaudi's unbuilt Hotel Attraction skyscraper design

[anatomizer]

"hear me out" and it's a picture of the most fuckable building you've ever seen. c'mon now.

[thepersonalmossblog]

“hear me out” and it’s the fucking dildopolis

[sexycraisinthanos]

Every time I see this, I think they’re referring to the building in the background until I keep scrolling

[dajo42]

using "what were YOU doing at the devils sacrament" to mean "yeah i made an embarrassing reference but you understood it which is also embarrassing" is very funny to me

[computationalcalculator]

my favorite part is that absolutely nobody says this except here. so if you use it in public, it's a dead giveaway that you spent the last ten years on tumblr. but then again, they recognized it, which means they were at the devil's sacrament

[idontgettechnology]

I tested this theory in the wild the other day at work. I was on a call with my department lead and a few other folks and I replied to an email the DL had sent me, thinking that, because he was on this call, he wouldn't notice when I sent it and would not catch me multitasking.

However, he replied to said email within five minutes, asking a question that required an answer. So I answered and was like "Also, I was going to apologize for answering emails during this call, but I see we're both here at the Devil's Sacrament, so I don't think an apology is necessary."

I watched him read that on screen and try not to laugh. And then at the end of the call as everyone started saying goodbye, he goes, "Hey, MJ, I meant to tell you. I like your shoelaces."

And I looked straight into my camera, stone cold serious, and said, "Thanks. I stole them from the president."

And the rest of the team was like, "What...the fuck...?" before he abruptly ended the call for everyone.

So now my DL and I know this about each other. He could be any one of us.

[libraryogre]

At a certain point, the appropriate response to "What were you doing at the devil's sacrament" becomes "stealing shoelaces from the president."

[sensiblereblogifposts]

Reblog if you were stealing shoelaces from the President

[surskip]

this is killing me it's so cute

[sunnysatori]

@funnier-when-objectum

[the-silliest-stiltwalker]

[picatchu]

[small-sketch]

💕🪲FLIPBUG STICKERS ARE HERE!🪲💕

I’m so excited about these it’s crazy. I wanted to wait to post them till I got the physical copies, but some of you who have watched the youtube vid I made for the My Neighbor Janice Youtube channel will have already seen these! They’re up now on my Etsy! Link HERE! ⭐️

[an-ruraiocht]

how it feels to be online these days

[gamerkrillslair]

everyone's drinking "monster" and "ghost" so one must assume that both are real and there are factories for milking them. the evil of the soda industry knows no bounds

[chimaeraundying]

well I think it knows some bounds otherwise we'd all be thralls to a crisp can of dr. acula by now

[segamascott]

Why the fuck are you 30+ on tumblr

this is my house?

[existennialmemes]

[asteroidtroglodyte]

Sure I’ll reblog that

[shutyourmoustache]

Making exercises more accessible to the disabled? Fuck yeah!

[beardedmrbean]

[theman]

I GOT A FUCKING RAISE THE POTATO WORKED WTF

[tattooedzombigirl]

This potato works. Every. Fucking. Time.

[imanutcase-10]

Then bring me luck

[thirddeadlysin]

the day after I posted this last time I was notified that I was selected for a really cool mentorship gig and got an unrelated glowing review at work

[icantbearsedtothinkofone]

Hey Potato, cure my -ing cold so I can have a good time while away.

[dduane]

Here's the potato. Make what use of it you will. :)

[brothertoebee]

Definitely golden! Here's hoping it works xD

[brothertoebee]

UPDATE: funny coincidence, since someone earlier mentioned that they had a cold. I also have a cold and was feeling very sick. This morning, I still had a fever, so I called in sick again and discovered that at some point we've had a change in policy at work where we get more sick days without a doctor's note! This means I don't have to drag myself to a doctor's office to waste both our time and energy! I get to just rest! And I already feel much better! The potato worked! Thanks @wind-deity!

[groovyfran-png]

"Do you insert yourself as the top/bottom of your favorite ship?" No, I'm the cameraman