@current-high-thoughts - Tumblr Blog

honestly, open warning to anyone who sits beside me on a plane: I’m eating your ass immediately if we crash. I don’t have any religious hang ups. if we’re lost in the Andes in need of rescue, and I start to get a little hungry, I’m eating you. sorry.

pangur-and-grim

oh.

well thanks for letting me know, I’ll rewrite the card I hand out on flights

thatsthat24

When the Social Meter’s Low 🏠 (W/ @domgoldofficial)

I'm gonna start describing the knots and my wife's body as donuts.. donut holes are regular knots then long John's are just bigger and then there's bare claws. Those are bad.

If we found one that's jelly filled that's a cyst. You can also have also really bad ones like a French twist

Eclares we get concerned, because those aren't even donuts.

ozth

found this three year old draft buried in my files. is it funny? I don't remember

wispsofwhimsy

no no you’re on to something don’t leave this in the notes!

the-pumpkin-princex

The leaves have started to fall ❤️ /pos

rylandsgrace

Toy Story 3 (2010) dir. Lee Unkrich

teaboot

One time my dad and I got into an argument cause he said it was unprofessional for a man to wear a skirt to work because a man would only want to wear women’s clothing if it was a sexual fetish and at the time I just thought it was stupid but in hindsight I think I learned something deeply personal about my dad

teaboot

“I wouldn’t be caught dead in any kind of dress because dresses are for women and I’m a man so it would be perverted, the only reason a man would wear a dress would be if he was getting off on it” really is the most weirdly conservative way to admit you find crossdressing so intensely erotic that you cannot imagine a reality where it’s boring, huh

teaboot

I have no idea if there’s any merit to this at all but now I can’t stop and it’s requiring my brain

“cleavage is slutty and suggestive” only if you think it is. Why are you giving boobs power over you like that

“crossdressing is erotic” Why? Does it turn you on? And if it does, why is that anyone else’s problem? Are sandals erotic? People with foot fetishes aren’t banning flip-flops

“same sex relationships are perverted” Even if they never fuck and just do taxes and shit? Why are you so fixated on gay people doing horny stuff. Why can’t you divide a category of people from porn

Like

Am I late to the fucking game or does just about every single social taboo related to promiscuity boil down to “your insistence that it’s kinky is the only thing making it kinky instead of boring”?

teaboot

Imagine being so pornbrained that you cannot conceive of a reality where a dude might want to hold hands with his husband or go to a nude beach or wear a cute summer dress to the farmers market without being insanely rock hard about it the entire goddamn time

knittingontheroad

The tags are gold too

beardedmrbean

Spite can be a incredible motivator

technofeudalism

meladoodle

I got another photo with Giancarlo Esposito and the conversation went like this

me: hey 10 years ago I got a photo of you pretending a banana was a gun, do you remember me?

Giancarlo: of course I remember you

me: shit you’re a good actor

syekick-powers

extremely underrated subgenre of tumblr post: when someone makes a general statement about something, and another person offers a counter-statement that's just completely nonsensical, and the OP just agrees instantly even if it makes no sense at all

examples: