Tumblr, my love, I always come back to you. I do. For the first time in my life, I'm operating like a bitch. 45% the Tina Fey empowerment way, 55% "I do not give a fuck who has to go" way. Guess what? I do care, and sometimes it doesn't feel too good. It seems I walk in these high-heels with fire on the bottom, hot from afar or at first glance, too hot upon approach, and burning the fuck out of bridges when crossed. I desperately want to ask every person in my life, "Do you love me?" The answer would be, "yes," or "Don't ask such a silly question." Digging deeper, that praise kink needs to be fulfilled. Funny how now that I'm giving the orders, all I want is some praise. Perhaps a lingering effect of overexcelling until my best is expected of me all the time. Yes, I'm a bad bitch, yes I'm a grown woman, but I'm still baby too. One thing lacking right now is woman companionship in a way that makes intimacy feels dynamic to my being. I'm in deep with a "dude," I have a son, and men seem to be in control a lot. Don't get me wrong; I love watching The Mets, anime, and my child all so much. But, this is my life, isn't it? There are things I want to discuss that happened in my relationship that I won't reveal here, but it's gone from lovers to partners. I miss the feel-good feeling of affection and admiration. I just don't lose that with women, unless I lose the woman whole (or she loses me.) He knows though, I've been honest, some would call it compromise, I call it identity. I love my man, he loves me... but there's been a mutual shift, a mutual wanting to change things around. Should I call the emotional movers or book a ceramics class? We'll see!
turnnoffyourmind
vaporwave
pixelskylines
romaincrisis
areudirty
snowghoul
prguitarman
