these are all true can confirm

i would know i was logan's glasses // friendly reminder to not take any of this too seriously. it's called cursed-sides for a reason // run by mod octopus and mod nebula

[cursed-sides]

*texting in the group chat at 4 am*

roman: WAIT THROWBACK TO THAT TIME BERNIE SANDERS LOVINGLY FED ME VIAGRA IN THE BACK OF A SHONEY’S

janus: VIAGRA?????

roman: IT WAS A VULNERABLE TIME OKAY

virgil: go the FUCK to sleep

[cursed-sides]

roman: do people who call logan daddy have rights?

virgil: no

roman: correct

logan, sitting right beside them:

[cursed-sides]

patton: so it says for the recipe we need 2 tablespoons of butter. i think there’s some in the fridge

remus: you mean the salty cow juice sticks?

patton:

patton:

patton: you know what? sure

[cursed-sides]

patton: so you have a dog and a cat!?

logan: no, just a cat.

patton, angrily: why.

[cursed-sides]

virgil: ah yes, sleep deprivation and tik tok, the two genders

[cursed-sides]

remus: *grabs his crotch*

janus: do... do you need to go to the bathroom or something?

remus: nope! just checking that it’s still there!

[cursed-sides]

patton: *pulls the sweet tea out of the fridge*

roman, holding an ice cube tray: do you need any ice for that?

patton, as he sticks his glass into the microwave: of course not, kiddo!

[cursed-sides]

patton, preparing lunch: virgil, do you eat cheese with or without the peel?

virgil: peel…?

virgil:

virgil:

virgil: wait-

[cursed-sides]

virgil: *quietly walks into the kitchen*

logan: you can’t eat that much raw cookie dough, patton! you’ll get salmonella! 

patton: maybe you can’t! but i’m immune-

logan: immune?! you can’t be immune to s-

patton: yes i can! i drink eggs every day before bed-

logan: you WHAT-

virgil: *slowly backs out*

[cursed-sides]

roman: oh, i didn’t know we had kool-aid!

patton: we don’t!

roman: then what did you mix into your water?

patton, conspicuously throwing a ramen noodle wrapper in the trash with the noodles still inside: what do you mean, kiddo?

roman: WHAT THE FUCK??????

[cursed-sides]

patton: *grabs a banana and proceeds to eat it with the peel still on*

logan: patton you’re supposed to PEEL IT

patton, taking each end in one hand and going for the middle like a fucking chicken wing: what did you say, logan?

[cursed-sides]

logan: *walks into the living room*

patton: *is eating uncooked spaghetti noodles from the box like chips*

logan, having a fucking conniption: hhhhhhhhHHHHHHHHHH-

[cursed-sides]

patton: *makes a sandwich with the bread in the middle instead of the outside*

roman, watching from behind a wall with logan: there’s no way he isn’t doing this on purpose to fuck with us, logan. i refuse to believe that he actually enjoys this

logan: *short-circuiting*

roman: miss keisha? MISS KEISHA?????

[cursed-sides]

patton: *peels an orange, then proceeds to throw away the orange and only eat the skin*

virgil: *throws holy water* the pOWER OF CHRIST COMPE-

[cursed-sides]

patton: *pulls the sweet tea out of the fridge*

roman, holding an ice cube tray: do you need any ice for that?

patton, as he sticks his glass into the microwave: of course not, kiddo!

[cursed-sides]

patton, preparing lunch: virgil, do you eat cheese with or without the peel?

virgil: peel…?

virgil:

virgil:

virgil: wait-

[cursed-sides]

virgil: *quietly walks into the kitchen*

logan: you can’t eat that much raw cookie dough, patton! you’ll get salmonella! 

patton: maybe you can’t! but i’m immune-

logan: immune?! you can’t be immune to s-

patton: yes i can! i drink eggs every day before bed-

logan: you WHAT-

virgil: *slowly backs out*

[cursed-sides]

roman: oh, i didn’t know we had kool-aid!

patton: we don’t!

roman: then what did you mix into your water?

patton, conspicuously throwing a ramen noodle wrapper in the trash with the noodles still inside: what do you mean, kiddo?

roman: WHAT THE FUCK??????

[cursed-sides]

patton: *grabs a banana and proceeds to eat it with the peel still on*

logan: patton you’re supposed to PEEL IT

patton, taking each end in one hand and going for the middle like a fucking chicken wing: what did you say, logan?

[cursed-sides]

logan: *walks into the living room*

patton: *is eating uncooked spaghetti noodles from the box like chips*

logan, having a fucking conniption: hhhhhhhhHHHHHHHHHH-

[cursed-sides]

patton: *makes a sandwich with the bread in the middle instead of the outside*

roman, watching from behind a wall with logan: there’s no way he isn’t doing this on purpose to fuck with us, logan. i refuse to believe that he actually enjoys this

logan: *short-circuiting*

roman: miss keisha? MISS KEISHA?????

[cursed-sides]

patton: *pulls the sweet tea out of the fridge*

roman, holding an ice cube tray: do you need any ice for that?

patton, as he sticks his glass into the microwave: of course not, kiddo!

[cursed-sides]

patton, preparing lunch: virgil, do you eat cheese with or without the peel?

virgil: peel…?

virgil:

virgil:

virgil: wait-

[cursed-sides]

virgil: *quietly walks into the kitchen*

logan: you can’t eat that much raw cookie dough, patton! you’ll get salmonella! 

patton: maybe you can’t! but i’m immune-

logan: immune?! you can’t be immune to s-

patton: yes i can! i drink eggs every day before bed-

logan: you WHAT-

virgil: *slowly backs out*

[cursed-sides]

roman: oh, i didn’t know we had kool-aid!

patton: we don’t!

roman: then what did you mix into your water?

patton, conspicuously throwing a ramen noodle wrapper in the trash with the noodles still inside: what do you mean, kiddo?

roman: WHAT THE FUCK??????

[cursed-sides]

patton: *grabs a banana and proceeds to eat it with the peel still on*

logan: patton you’re supposed to PEEL IT

patton, taking each end in one hand and going for the middle like a fucking chicken wing: what did you say, logan?

[cursed-sides]

logan: *walks into the living room*

patton: *is eating uncooked spaghetti noodles from the box like chips*

logan, having a fucking conniption: hhhhhhhhHHHHHHHHHH-

[cursed-sides]

patton: *pulls the sweet tea out of the fridge*

roman, holding an ice cube tray: do you need any ice for that?

patton, as he sticks his glass into the microwave: of course not, kiddo!

[cursed-sides]

patton, preparing lunch: virgil, do you eat cheese with or without the peel?

virgil: peel…?

virgil:

virgil:

virgil: wait-

[cursed-sides]

virgil: *quietly walks into the kitchen*

logan: you can’t eat that much raw cookie dough, patton! you’ll get salmonella! 

patton: maybe you can’t! but i’m immune-

logan: immune?! you can’t be immune to s-

patton: yes i can! i drink eggs every day before bed-

logan: you WHAT-

virgil: *slowly backs out*

[cursed-sides]

roman: oh, i didn’t know we had kool-aid!

patton: we don’t!

roman: then what did you mix into your water?

patton, conspicuously throwing a ramen noodle wrapper in the trash with the noodles still inside: what do you mean, kiddo?

roman: WHAT THE FUCK??????

[cursed-sides]

patton: *grabs a banana and proceeds to eat it with the peel still on*

logan: patton you’re supposed to PEEL IT

patton, taking each end in one hand and going for the middle like a fucking chicken wing: what did you say, logan?

[cursed-sides]

patton: *pulls the sweet tea out of the fridge*

roman, holding an ice cube tray: do you need any ice for that?

patton, as he sticks his glass into the microwave: of course not, kiddo!

[cursed-sides]

patton, preparing lunch: virgil, do you eat cheese with or without the peel?

virgil: peel…?

virgil:

virgil:

virgil: wait-

[cursed-sides]

virgil: *quietly walks into the kitchen*

logan: you can’t eat that much raw cookie dough, patton! you’ll get salmonella! 

patton: maybe you can’t! but i’m immune-

logan: immune?! you can’t be immune to s-

patton: yes i can! i drink eggs every day before bed-

logan: you WHAT-

virgil: *slowly backs out*

[cursed-sides]

roman: oh, i didn’t know we had kool-aid!

patton: we don’t!

roman: then what did you mix into your water?

patton, conspicuously throwing a ramen noodle wrapper in the trash with the noodles still inside: what do you mean, kiddo?

roman: WHAT THE FUCK??????

[cursed-sides]

patton: *pulls the sweet tea out of the fridge*

roman, holding an ice cube tray: do you need any ice for that?

patton, as he sticks his glass into the microwave: of course not, kiddo!

[cursed-sides]

patton, preparing lunch: virgil, do you eat cheese with or without the peel?

virgil: peel…?

virgil:

virgil:

virgil: wait-

[cursed-sides]

virgil: *quietly walks into the kitchen*

logan: you can’t eat that much raw cookie dough, patton! you’ll get salmonella! 

patton: maybe you can’t! but i’m immune-

logan: immune?! you can’t be immune to s-

patton: yes i can! i drink eggs every day before bed-

logan: you WHAT-

virgil: *slowly backs out*

[cursed-sides]

patton: *pulls the sweet tea out of the fridge*

roman, holding an ice cube tray: do you need any ice for that?

patton, as he sticks his glass into the microwave: of course not, kiddo!

[cursed-sides]

patton, preparing lunch: virgil, do you eat cheese with or without the peel?

virgil: peel…?

virgil:

virgil:

virgil: wait-

[cursed-sides]

patton: *pulls the sweet tea out of the fridge*

roman, holding an ice cube tray: do you need any ice for that?

patton, as he sticks his glass into the microwave: of course not, kiddo!

[cursed-sides]

patton: so what have we learned about hiding our not-so-happy feelings?

virgil: *dabs gently but with emotion* it really do be like that sometimes

patton: No

[cursed-sides]

logan, mumbling as he reads along: quoth the raven, “nevermore.”

roman: quoth the raven, “this bitch empty! YEET”

virgil: quoth the raven, “fuck shit up”

patton: quoth the raven, “i love you, bruh. i ain’t ever gonna stop lovin’ you, bruh.”

deceit: quoth the raven, “eat the rich”

remus: quoth the raven, “skate fast eat ass”

[cursed-sides]

virgil: my clothes may be cheap, but at least my depression is designer