Cursed Humility

RECOGNISE, LEARN & LIVE

[cursedhumility-rll]

This will be my first blog of 2026, and the journey continues. Things have definitely levelled up over here. As a daughter of God and a single mother, I'm very proud of my current situation. I've been blessed with better chances to reach my goals to provide for my family, reach a position of self-reliance again, and knock out financial goals that will help further the portfolio. My goal here is to help inspire others to become the best version of themselves. Especially single mothers finding their way again or even for the first time. Considering this is the second time I've had to start from nothing but my instincts and wits. There are lots of things that helped me gradually find myself properly again, but some things that I can write without being overwhelming are:

1) God

God gave me perspective throughout all the pain and torment of my mistakes. My relationship with God also healed my mind and gave me peace. This was really important for my healing after everything I'd been through. So it's a huge recommendation for a fresh start 🤔 I truly believe that by taking care of our soul, we are taking care of our life source. It's about connecting with the deepest, most inner self at the core and healing through light and truth. A relationship with God has been an irreplaceable asset on this journey.

2) Education

This is the foundation of all success. Those successful people who boast about leaving school and made it still have to educate themselves in order to maintain their success. Nobody got anywhere on pure luck.

3) Financial Planning

Working toward being debt free and maintaining it is not easy. They say there is such thing as good debt, but honestly, I'm inclined to believe otherwise because debt isn't free, and there is a market in all high luxury industries. Which can rise and fall at any time. Being financially free can start at only having to pay the necessities. Rather than trying to apply conveniences, access to local, concessional, and welfare resources can help a lot with saving money. Cooking and exercising at home or at the park as well. There's also a saying about it that goes "better than nothing." Emergencies can always occur.

4) Practical Goals

When I started my journey three years ago, the wellness wheel was an amazing way to be practical in covering all my bases, creating goals alongside logic. God did play a huge role here, but I'm human, and I felt that having my own desires wasn't a sin when done humbly. I'll admit, God has had to humble me multiple times on my journey, but I did pray for all the milstones I've managed. Prayer maintained my focus.

5) Principles

Having principles is what refines us into moralled and respectable people. They carve our character and are the basis of self-understanding. It's about honouring ourselves, our families & God.

6) Health

We should always strive for good health. The journey can be tough, but the tiniest steps are well worth it. Self-love and respect can be a beautiful journey.

7) Faith

Faith is a must in times of trial. When rebuilding your life and even though things can seem impossible at times. We need to believe that these trials are to keep us grounded to the truth, and there is a light. As you accomplish and complete goals, both small and big. You will feel good about the direction that life is headed.

When diving into each of these categories, there are a lot of things we can consider in order to apply them positively. It has taken some time for me to reach levels that I'm happy about and can contemplate them with a positive mindset. Especially the financial part. When I started, I had a few student loans among other debts but managed to get my debts to a place that allowed me to believe that they would be paid off soon or certain debts have been paid by a good amount. I've felt the relief this year in knowing that my financial situation was improved by a lot and would keep improving for my family as a whole. Every move that I've made over the last few years has been about doing this. There is also building a career and life for myself for after my children have left home and giving them the best head start that I could. I won't be giving it to them for nothing, though. As children, I want them to focus on their relationship with God and their education. It's also in the plan for them to fulfil a mission when they graduate. It's about giving them the opportunity to live normal lives before they decide on major changes, becoming full-fledged adults.

[cursedhumility-rll]

I'm going to get a little personal in this blog considering it's probably going to be the last one i write for this year.

There is so much to feel blessed about in 2025 now that it's coming to an end. Every year, it feels like a new journey, but I'm actually going into my fourth year of seeking a life of wellness with God at the centre of my family. I have achieved most of my immediate goals in 2025. A new car, work licences, further studies, and landed a new permanent role and a second commission based job. All while being a single mother, but I didn't achieve all this without any help. I'm super proud of my support system because I couldn't have achieved all that without them.

I made a commitment to lock in for three months to reach my goals for success. I have been locked in for nearly a month now, and I have until the end of February to meet my deadline. I wrote a previous blog about the intricacies of my journey for this three month lock-in period. I may not complete all my long-term goals within the three months, but the goals I've managed to complete are definitely steps in the right direction for bringing them to fruition.

2025 has definitely been a year of lessons, especially to put my trust in God and that he will provide what's best for me. There have been times that I have tried to fast track my success. His Holy Spirit told me that I should be more patient and not try to take shortcuts, but I felt desperate to make our lives better. There are too many untrustworthy people who will lie about the possibilities and lure you into financial ruin. People really need to be careful who they trust online to help them reach their financial goals. Especially on the south equator because those systems were designed to have people submit money to make money without thinking of the consequences of misinformation. They deceive people by using synonyms to hide the truth and make people look dumb and incomprehensive. It's truly disgusting. I really do appreciate the business standards here in Australia and their strictness.

I'm calling it now that 2026 is going to be a great year full of challenges that I've never faced before. There are many that I need to deal with within myself, confrontational changes that I need to make, but it's really all about the plan that I have toward becoming successful. I was very anxious about my capabilities, but lessons and learning to trust God have been reality checks on this wellness journey. I know that if I leave it in Gods hands alongside my own persistence and determination to make it happen that it will.

[cursedhumility-rll]

After we put together the pieces of our lives , after everything has fallen apart and we've lost the will to fight. Relationships seem trivial, caring for others feels like a chore, and the only thing that makes sense is that the only reason why you exist is because you feel there is something worth doing or someone's worth living for. Personally, I believe that you deserve to be treated with respect and to live a peaceful and joyous life with genuine and faithful people to share your life. Sometimes, this also means that you have to check yourself first and come back to reality. Admit that you screwed up and don't challenge and count on others changing. You're the one that needs to change, and doing it alone whilst seeking God is the perfect environment to become the best version of yourself.

The fact that you are no longer a child means that you are graced with responsibility. Responsibility to yourself and your future, but also to guide others to have a common sense of respect. This can take courage to do.

There are people in this world who can have particularly nasty natures, and some people choose not want to change. I've seen it. Some people like being petty and cold because they don't know much else about the world and wear it like armour.

I've made a promise to myself that I will never allow anybody to take advantage of my kindness, softness, and caring heart ever again. It's a discipline to stay humble in the process because my last nerve is a lot shorter but thicker than it used to be. I didn't learn my lesson until the second time a man broke my heart, but I'm stupendously proud of my comeback.

That time came to mind when I had succeeded at creating a clean foundation for a successful future, but I had chosen the wrong partner to grow with. In reality, I believe that what I need to do is correct my failure. I didn't have a relationship with God back then, either. Which is who keeps me grounded, and following the example of Jesus Christ is the only path I want to live now. Reading the scriptures of the gospel and praying also helps with positively disciplining a healthy mindset. Don't be afraid or revile the idea of relying on God for everything you need spiritually, mentally, environmentally, and socially. It's because of Gods doctrine that I've been able to reclaim my mental health, and life has normalised. He gave me a plan, but being the imperfect woman that I am. Unfortunately, I'm still making mistakes, and I've learnt that when I hit a wall. I need to slow down, take my time, and allow myself to quietly and intimintently celebrate my current achievements. Also, process my mistakes for improvement, growth, and cultivate for future successes.

[cursedhumility-rll]

What does it really mean to be locked in?

The first thing that my research shows me is that it means to be unable to leave a physical or figurative situation. Like literal confinement, being stuck or being in a state of intense focus. Otherwise, it is a permanent commitment.

I'm currently thinking of different ways that I could be more locked in to fulfil my dreams of becoming wealthy. I've already had a failed business, but I refuse to go back to the same industry. So, looking at things from a different angle, there are obviously other options. Wherefore, I think about where I am currently, and I believe the wisest course of action has been building on top of what I've already got.

How did the business fail?

Not being brave enough to choose myself whilst in a toxic relationship because we had children was very draining, and it destroyed me mentally and my business. Looking at the bright side, I gained something so much more valuable because I turned back to God. My children and I are stable and have roles serving others in our respective church community. We're happy and look forward to our routine lives. The blessing of being blessed with an environment where we can flourish, I believe that I owe it to my God and family to do my best at everything that I set out to do. Though very humble, the stage has been set to lock in, design, and focus/ build my dream life or Queendom as you call it.

Lock In

The library offers audiobooks kept available for 21 days once you've borrowed them. I'm going to listen to a single audiobook consistently for the borrowing period. I would've thought the next logical step would be to review the books, but this may need to be done in multiple pieces because it depends on your planning process, but I'm going to design a process that should make it easier for me. The planning process itself will require me to take notes and organise them appropriately before review.

Design

Thinking about it, we need to have a plan for how we want our lives to look. My concern here was mostly to do with how sometimes it can be messy before they can look good. This process could give me a sense of control over my environment. I talked with a family member about a similar aspect, and one of the things that caught my attention is how you can create this crisp standard of living. At the same time, you create a vibe that can connect people and instil it into your environmental wellness. I've always felt that with a wellness journey, the environment is probably the number one aspect that should be paid mind and consistent attention because everyone from the moment we are conceived is exposed to an environment in which we are to grow. This means that the adults are responsible for ensuring it is safe, there is support for potential, we encourage good intentions, space for faith and laughter, as well as understanding the risks both internally and externally. All the while, predicting the consequentials and their determining factors.

Focus

For me, the foundation of my dream life is my relationship with God and Jesus Christ. So, I know that as long as I stay strong in my faith. That foundation will always be there and can only get stronger. This kind of focus also takes discipline, and I believe that focusing on my Heavenly Father is becoming easier. Staying focused on the future, ensuring your people are collectively involved with the plan. Also, making sensible moves, no matter how small moves may seem. Starting small can make all the difference to the present picture.

Build

When you start with nothing, building anything can be a difficult concept, but at the same time, it's motivation. This is why I turned to learning and going back to school to learn something that would help me build on top of what I already had. Now, I've spent a long time seeking a full education, but some may need to seek other possibilities. So, I've reached a Certificate 4 already, but because the cost to further my education is so high and managing a career with what I had didn't have the potential that I thought it would. I have gone back to school again to earn another career that could potentially mean earning a second degree in the future. I'm not sure yet if I'll be able to have two majors in business school, but I'm down to find out. This could lead me to leave work for a while, which is why the plan is to learn another skill. Which has the potential to change the game for me again, but having those degrees is a huge dream for me.

[cursedhumility-rll]

I've realised that when I try to blog on a daily basis, the content that I write can seem disappointing for me, but I've recently started a new venture. So, I've been looking into the different ways that I can make money on social media because it's something that I have been becoming more interested in over the last 5 years. Influencers and media guru's talk about, but tend to rely on the specifics and keep people's views very short with the intention to inspire people to try something that they haven't done before.

Whereas I am trying to build an understanding that allows people to learn with me in the hopes of creating content that helps people understand the truth about the capacity for others. I know that there is a lot of consistency that needs to go into the idea.

I've been making reels using my Facebook stories for a little while now, collecting content about my journey. Those videos are available to be downloaded so new videos and reels can be made in the future.

On a side note, I have recently enquired to somebody who makes daily posts in regard to something completely different, but I think that it's relevant to this journey because it's something that I have been actively exploring since 2023.

Trading is blowing up on social media, and there are so many people who believe that they are the right people to give us their mentoring, but I've noticed the inconsistency. For me, it's important to see those daily posts using the same accounts to post on the daily or on a regular basis. Seeing the same videos all the time makes me think that those people have a lot of money already or have had a lot of money and would rather pay to have the same videos fed to people rather than giving people the authenticity that the big good social media guru's actually talk about.

The struggle is real, and I know it really well, which is another reason that I am so committed to the idea of helping others with my content. I think about somebody who has been through something similar or worse, seeing my content and being able to make something for themselves. My mind fantasises about knowing the joy that I could possibly manifest into another person's life. God says, "Love thy neighbour as you love thyself" and I wish that I had the right people in my life to show me the way without thinking that there had to be something in it for them, especially when I was at my lowest and that's what I'm trying to bring to the table with my content .

[cursedhumility-rll]

How do people enjoy blogging ? I've done a couple on here, and I have a couple drafted that I haven't posted because I feel like I am being too personal. Like who the hell wants to read about the boring S**t that I do on a day-to-day. I went to a YSA Devotional last night, and it was a little inspiring. There was a bit of acting and singing. Someone would walkup on to the stage and turn on a lamp. Sit at a desk & pretend to write in a journal. Then, one or a group of them would perform a song. There were so many wonderful gospel messages shared.

I noticed that there weren't many people my age in attendance. Even though YSA stands for Young Single Adults, which is between the ages of 18-35, but I seemed to be the oldest attendee at this YSA event. We attend these kinds of events to make friends so that we can have healthy relationships, but also in the hope of finding our eternal partner. I'm still questioning whether boycotting makeup a few weeks ago is confidence or robbing me of it. I'm hoping my love for skincare will compensate me in future years.

I was raised in a toxic home, so there are a lot of things about maintaining healthy relationships and protecting my peace that I've had to learn without the guidance of well minded parents. Honestly, everything that I've been able to achieve in my current relationships with family and friends came from learning the gospel. Seeking God has been the greatest blessing because it definitely helped me improve my self-respect. When there was a time that I'd love so hard for someone else so that they didn't feel alone or like they didn't have a family they could belong to. Only to realise that there wasn't anybody like that for me and it was the exact reason I did it. Knowing that feeling wasn't as liberating as it might've been to read in some fantasy novel.

I've been very careful to harden my heart with faith, reverence, covenants, and testimony so that others would see the blessings of God's will in me. I'm not sure if I could express how grateful I am to God for helping me regain mental stability and my life. What I know is that I am rebuilt, like a new creature, but that I have the ability to strengthen whatever foundations God has blessed me with. The plan is to keep moving forward with that plan. The path of righteousness hasn't always been an easy road to faithfully keep walking because, as a human who has lived her life prone to making mistakes. I know firsthand that there are a lot of reasons we can become astranged, but the idea is to be true to yourself and remember that starting again isn't a setback. It's actually a step forward, and it's better than not knowing a way. Even then, we must find one or ten...

[cursedhumility-rll]

Honestly, I'm the worst at this blog stuff, but I've always wanted to write one. I'm always trying to find things to help myself grow. Unafraid of trying new things, I feel like this is a great way to vent my urges and curiosities toward becoming the person that I truly want to be.

I dont really know when this wellness journey of mine's beginning point was, but i want to say that I am grateful for the lessons and wisdom that I have gained a long the way. I'm starting to understand why it took my parents so long to find their peaceful era. Which I feel like has taken some humbling to adjust, too, especially where my children are concerned. Children have a way of making you reflect and boldly change your behaviour whilst teaching them. I naively loved twice in my life, but at 32, my regrets are only posers. The weird thing is, I feel strong minded than I've ever been, and earning back my physical strength has been challenging this time around.

Unfortunately, I had a run-in with relapsing my addiction to marijuana in the beginning of 2022, but at the end of 2022, I left my partner at the time, but stupidlytried to work things out, twice. He smoked for a long time, and I didn't. I couldn't handle how ugly, unsafe, and unhopeful I felt both internally and physically. That was the worst year of my life, and now I have a fear of being with another person. I've been clean for three years and celibate for a whole year now, and I'm so grateful for that.

Now, I'm focused on achieving everything on my bucket list. Also, I refuse to let that idiot be the last man I ever make love to for the rest of my life, so eventually, I feel like I have to do something about that. At the moment, it's all about the mind, body, and spirit. Im going to do my best to keep my heart out of a lot of things because my compass is a holy thing that should be honoured.

Unless I am 100 percent sure that a man is going to give me the same respect that I'm willing to give him and grow with me, than my heart can have no say because it's important to remember that I'm only human. My mind has been broken before because of family sentiment. Also, that changed me permanently, but it's like a tiny bit of the crazy is just sitting here caressing my brain like a play thing or like it's waiting for me to screw up again. So it can remind me of what happened, not that I need reminding. I could never forget. That was a huge change to my internal character.

I dont expect any sympathy or for people to understand what that was like. I think what it is is that I'm hoping people can see me and be like; she's cool; like chill and family focused. God is the centre of my family these days and has done a beautiful job at helping me gather all my broken pieces and restructure myself positively into my peaceful era.

There is a way to go before I can be the version of myself that I am manifesting. I feel like I'm analysing, weighing options, thinking forward, trying to grasp my version of greatness, but I know God will deliver me however I prove fit. And that's okay because I should find gratitude, joy, and peace in his decisions for my life.