cuter than pie

20yr old jew in recovery for ed

[robothugscomic]

New comic!

Romance movies are to actual relationships what porn is to actual sex: sometimes entertaining, but usually full of terrible ideas.

[glosshie]

its so fuckin strange that one day, we’re gonna meet someone who falls head over heels in love with us?? isnt that fuckin weird?? theyre gonna see my favourite food in the supermarket and be like “oh ____ would love this!” theyre gonna wake up in the morning next 2 me and thank god for having us meet. theyre gonna look at me as if i’m the sun, moon and stars!! thats so fuckin odd

[give-me-an-f]

me: I slammed my finger in a door today by accident

someone from england: “door”? like what is that? you just have these things anyone can use to get into your homes and your cars? your country is so weird? here we have these, like, rectangular holes in our buildings and stuff, and a slab of some hard material, generally wood or metal, that covers it snugly and stays affixed with hinges and locks

[soyeahso]

“We call them innie outie pimsie whimsies.”

[stunningpicture]

I met Bill Nye on a plane in 1999. Here he is inventing the selfie.

[itsbrice]

Bill Nye invented the selfie.

[lizardclubpresidente-deactivate]

bill nye the selfie guy

[humorduke]

what a beautiful day and i want to listen to some music:

[askr-deactivated20230503]

look man im a native english speaker and i’ve been mispronouncing a crap ton of words because i never looked up the pronunciation for any of them but if you make fun of how a foreigner pronounces an english word either because of their accent or having never heard that word before i will fucking fight you because english has shitty pronunciation rules and none of them make sense fuck off

[whatdoyoumeantherumisgone-deact]

imagine what its like to work at buzzfeed

your boss asks you to grow out your pubes for a month. you ask dave from accounting if he wants to go out for a drink but hes on a ketchup cleanse this week. you need to find sheila to get her figures for this quarter but shes away Trying Transcendental Puppy Kale Yoga For The First Time. you get roped in to do a taste test for slow cooked yoghurt and now you’re stressed because you can’t find the perfect gif for your ‘What Does Your Favourite Game of Thrones Buttplug Say About You?’ listicle

[onceiwashere]

hey colourpop cosmetics you make great affordable products and i love you but we gotta talk about something. just a quick little thing. just sit down it wont take that long dont worry i just want to have a little chat about well uh

[bbygrl-666]

something light

[meangirlnurse]

i have no self-control

[meangirlnurse]

two people unfollowed me for this and honestly i don’t really blame them

[meangirlnurse]

today someone from the House of Representatives watched this bird dance to Hotline Bling

[browningtons-deactivated2018041]

Say those 4 words and I’m yours

[smoqueen-deactivated20251108]

[stripedsweater]

[krxs10]

ATTENTION IF YOU HAVENT ALREADY HEARD THIS IS EXTREMELY IMPORTANT

[black-to-the-bones-deactivated2]

BOOST

[wtfced]

water is wet

[lilwhitbit-deactivated20220204]

What I really love about this is that everybody has to refer to this hacker as Guccifer2

[adhd-me]

I’ve come to realize that the quote: “Do what makes you happy” does NOT need to apply to something that can be monetized. You don’t need to work your dream job necessarily to do what makes you happy. You could work your 9-5 job in customer service or retail etc, come home and plan weekend trips to the mountains if hiking is what makes you happy. You can work a mediocre job and still do what you love in your off time.

Your job doesn’t need to be the thing that makes you happy.

And yeah, of course you may not be able to go hiking, or swimming at the lake or scrapbooking allll the time (because you have a job/other responsibilities). But don’t neglect the things you enjoy. Find some time to squeeze it in and cherish that time when you’re able to. Save those memories until your able to do your loved activity again!

If you can make time for what you love, even if it’s a small amount of time..your life quality will improve.

[greysgifs]

[mddiaries]

Words to live by.

[carpephuckingdiem]

Amen.

[telep0rt]

Seriously. Seriously. Seriously.

[memeufacturing-deactivated20161]

call me biased but i dont think thats the sexiest robot they could’ve found a picture of 

[daeint]

how do girls in girl groups not fall in love with their group members 

[wwhat-evenn-deactivated20171123]

apparently its called “being straight” idk i dont really understand that way of life