Summary: You're working on a case and interrogate one of the eye witnesses with the Winchesters, who just happens to be your ex-boyfriend.
☆☆
You were working on a case with the Winchesters and were about to interrogate one of the eye witnesses to get more information on what had exactly happened. You didn't know who it was just yet but as you were standing at the doorstep and the door opened, your stomach dropped and eyes widened.
"Y/N?" a familiar voice with an even more familiar face said, surprised as well.
Oh, hell no. No no no no no no.
"What are you doing here? God, it's been such a long time. How are you?" the guy asked. The guy who had been your first boyfriend and first everything. Date, kiss, sex... And after all these years, there he was again.
"I'm... fine, thanks," you said quietly, awkwardly shifting your weight from one leg to another and wrapping your arms around your body as if to protect yourself from something.
"You guys know each other?" Sam asked with furrowed eyebrows.
"Yeah, we used to date in high school. You know, high school sweethearts," he explained, letting out a chuckle. He was much more relaxed in this situation than you were. Maybe just the presence of Sam and Dean made you unease. Maybe. But why?
You hadn't seen him since you departed ways after high school, him going to a college in a different state and you deciding to stay in your hometown and work.
"Uh, why don't we just get to the case and get this over with," you quickly said and started walking towards the couch in the living room.
The three guys followed you, and Dean made sure to sit next to you, his thigh brushing yours.
When you were done with getting the information you needed, you headed towards the door with Dean and Sam but didn't manage to exit the apartment when a voice stopped you.
"Hey, Y/N," your ex said and grabbed your arm, making you turn towards him. "Can i talk to you for a minute?"
"Um, i, uh..." you stuttered, not wanting to stay here any longer because of Dean and Sam but a part of you knew that there was still unfinished business with you that you needed to talk through.
"We'll wait in the car," Sam said and led Dean out of the apartment.
When the door was closed and you were left alone with your ex, he continued, "I was wondering... since we're more grown up now, would you like to give us another go?"
"You want to get back together?" you asked, lifting your eyebrows.
"Let me take you to just one date and we'll go from there, okay?" he pleaded and took your hand in his, brushing your knuckles with his thumb. "I've missed you, Y/N. You have no idea how much and now that you're here, i..."
You hesitated. Sure, he had been your first love and the one who you thought you'd spend the rest of your life with when you were teenagers, sure that you'd stay together forever. Get married, have kids, buy a house... It had been years since you last saw him and whatever feelings you had had for him had now faded. Not entirely, some part of you would always love him, but you didn't need to have him in your life anymore. You had moved on, as you thought he had done as well.
Dean was sitting in the car behind the wheel, looking at the two of you talking in the apartment, he could see you through the window. He examined every reaction you got from his words, every slight smile you gave him. He took your hands in his, brushing your knuckles. You didn't pull your hands away as Dean had hoped. Step away from him, push him away to tell him it was all over. What was he saying to you?
Dean turned his head away from you, clenching his jaw and gritting his teeth.
"She's not gonna get back with him," Sam reassured him, able to read his brother's mind just by examining the expressions on his face.
"Why would i care anyway if she did," Dean mumbled.
Sam was aware that Dean fallen in love with you, it was clear to anyone around him. It had first started as just a small, innocent crush and a little bit of flirting but as time went by, his feelings grew and grew, starting to be too large for him to handle. Dean wasn't able to confess his feelings to you, though he knew he should if he didn't want to look at you in someone else's arms. See someone else holding your hands.
One thing what also bothered Dean was that your ex was totally different compared to Dean, at least by the looks. Was he your type or would you be attracted to other types too? Shut up, Dean thought, almost wanting to slap himself on the face to get control of his mind.
Then, as Dean turned to look at you again, you were hugging your dear old ex-boyfriend, arms wrapped around his neck, his arms around your waist. Dean's heart dropped at the sight, chest tightening and both anger and sadness starting to take over his body. Dean had no right to be mad at you, of course he knew that, but his body didn't.
Sam witnessed the sight too: you with your ex and Dean losing his mind.
Eventually, you returned to the car, opening the impala's backseat door and hopping inside. Dean pretended like he hadn't paid any attention on your absence.
"Ready to go?" Dean asked. You didn't pay attention to the slight cranky tone in his voice but Sam could hear it loud and clear.
"Yeah, let's go grab something to eat. I'm starving," you groaned and slumped back against the seat.
Didn't want to go get dinner with that lover boy of yours, Dean thought. He had to bit his tongue not to let the words accidentally out loud. He wasn't jealous, you'd definitely catch up on it. If you didn't, Sam would and wouldn't stop teasing him about it. He was not jealous.
Fine, maybe he was a little jealous. Maybe he was the one who wanted to hug and hold you. Maybe he was the one who wanted to –
"Dean?" Sam said, startling Dean from his thoughts.
"Huh?"
"I asked if we could go to the diner where we ate at last time," you repeated.
"Oh, right. Yeah sure," Dean said, shortly glancing at you from the rearview mirror until turning his head to look back at the road.
☆☆
The three of you sat at a diner eating burgers and fries. It felt like several hours since you'd last gotten anything to eat.
You couldn't help but notice that Dean was much more quiet than usual, avoiding eye contact with you and just concentrating on his own meal.
Dean's mind and thoughts were wandering to several different directions all at once. How many times had your ex taken you out to eat burgers? How many times had he done this and that what Dean had done with you but in a romantic way?
"So," Sam broke the silence, quickly glancing at Dean before aiming his gaze on you on the other side of the table. "Are you going to see him again?"
"What?" you asked. "Oh, right. No, i've moved on from him. I wished him all the best in life but i'm not going back to him anymore."
"Really? You just... looked awfully close over there," Dean mumbled, and you weren't sure if you even heard him correctly.
"Were you watching us?" you asked, narrowing your eyes and a teasing smile lingering on your lips.
"Me, i, no," Dean stuttered, quickly turning back to his food and taking another bite from his burger, now slightly larger so he wouldn't need to reply to anything for a moment.
Dean wondered how many exes you actually had, you had never talked about any of them. Why would you? It was none of his, or Sam's, business and in the past. But how many were there? How many men had been with you and –
"Dean?" you said. "Everything alright?"
"Yeah, of course," Dean replied and pulled on a smile which might have managed to convince you but not Sam.
Why did you have to look so pretty even when you had mayonnaise sliding down from the corner of your mouth and a piece of lettuce stuck between your teeth? So pretty when you had dark bags under your eyes for not having slept in the past 32 hours? Hair greasy for not having washed it in the past three days? None of those things could take away your beauty.
Dean wanted to tell you how much he cared about you. How much it hurt him when he saw you hugging and holding hands with a guy who wasn't him. But every time he would have had a chance to do so, the words were stuck in his throat and he couldn't get a single word out. Not when you were looking at him like that with those pretty eyes of yours. God, your eyes were pretty.
Maybe some day he'd be able to tell you how damn deep in love with you he was.
☆☆
On the drive back to the motel, it was getting dark outside and you were growing more and more tired, eyes feeling heavy and closing themselves. You tried to stay awake, it wouldn't take more than 20 minutes to get to the motel, if even that much.
However, you soon gave up and fell asleep, head against the cold window.
When Dean had parked the car in the parking lot, he turned to look at you over his shoulder just to see you peacefully asleep, forehead against the glass. Great. Dean didn't want to wake you up, this wasn't the first time he'd had to carry you out of the car, but now if he opened the door, you'd fall on the ground.
With Sam's help, Dean managed to get you out of the car without waking you up – Dean had learned quickly since he had met you that you were a heavy sleeper. He carried you into the motel room, your head resting against his chest, ear right against his beating heart. You were a heavy sleeper, sure, but Dean was afraid that his rapid heart beat alone was enough to wake you up.
Dean carefully laid you on the mattress, placing your head comfortably on a pillow and pulled your shoes off. He covered you with a thick blanket, tucking it all the way to your jaw to keep you warm and safe while you were asleep.
He couldn't reveal his feelings to you, no. What if you didn't feel the same? Saw him just as a friend? He didn't even want to imagine how awkward things would become between the two of you.
Also, if others, such as demons or other creatures who wanted Sam and Dean dead, found out about the person Dean was in love with, they would definitely turn it against him.
But the image of you hugging your ex was still bugging his mind, glued there. He wanted to be the one to do that. To hold you, to kiss you – to tell you how much he loved you. For fuck's sake, he was a coward but he wasn't someone to have good things stay in his life longer than for a short moment.
"Goodnight, sweetheart," Dean whispered, taking one last look at you and walked to the door, silently closing it behind him.
Summary: Meg has one simple wish from you in return of a favor she did for you.
A/N: Ever since the kiss with Castiel i've been absolutely feral for this woman. The lack of fics is making me cry. Idk if anyone will even read this tbh.
☆☆
Meg was a demon. A demon was your enemy. A demon was someone you were supposed to kill. A demon was someone you weren't supposed to trust. You had exorcised and killed countless of them, so why would one be any different from others? They were all lying and manipulating piece of trash who you needed to banish back to Hell.
Ruby had proved it all true – no matter how nice, kind, friendly and helpful they acted towards you, they all had ill thoughts and plans that would do anything but benefit you. She had gained Sam's trust and what had happened? The damn Devil himself had arrived among the living.
You couldn't trust them. You shouldn't. You hated them, every single one of them. They were the enemy. No matter how nice they pretended to behave and how pretty they looked and how sweet they tried to be and how unbelievably pretty they –
No, the vessels they had forced their way into were.
Still, somehow, you ended up working with her. Being on the same side as you were all trying to track down Crowley. You had been surprised that Dean and Sam ended up agreeing on working together. The trust between you and the few demons here was fragile and ready to collapse from any minor mistake.
You felt uneasy near Meg, having her look at you in such an intense way that you had the urge to take a step back to gain some distance between the two of you. Her stare was so intrusive it felt like she was examining the deepest parts of your soul. That smile too. God, she had a pretty smile.
Now, you were about to part your ways again, break the short bond of hunters and demons getting along and going back to how things used to be. How things were meant to be. However, there was one thing you still needed from her.
"Give us the knife back," Dean commanded.
"Hm. This?" Meg said, raising the silver angel knife in the air which she had stolen from Cas and used to fight off hellhounds before. She narrowed her eyes, thinking about something sinister for a moment. "Not for free."
"Alright, what do you want?" Dean groaned and crossed his arms. He wanted to do nothing else than to get back to the motel and go to sleep, getting tired and grumpy. So did Sam and so did you.
"A kiss," Meg replied, biting her lip.
Dean's eyebrows shot up, that single word being something he hadn't expected. "A what now?"
"A kiss," Meg repeated, a smile crawling on her lips. "One little kiss and i'll give it to you."
"Listen, sweetheart, i'm not going to –" Dean started, but Meg wasn't having it.
"Get over yourself, i didn't mean you," she scoffed, a slight look of disgust on her face. Dean shortly glanced at his brother, who took a step back, before Meg managed to continue. "A kiss from your little lady friend."
She turned her gaze towards you, pointing the tip of the large knife in your way with a playful smile. Both Dean and Sam glanced at you as well, your heart starting to beat faster at the thought.
"You want a kiss from her?" Dean asked, thinking that Meg was only joking and there was something bigger that she must have wanted.
"Did i stutter?" Meg asked, raising her dark eyebrows. She started walking towards you with slow steps.
"Are you serious?" you asked, furrowing your brows.
"Of course i'm serious, pretty face," Meg confirmed with that smile which made your heart flutter when she made eye contact with you.
"I'm not trading my soul to you in the process, am i?" you hesitated.
"Just a simple kiss, that's all," Meg reassured, though with a smirk on her face that made you doubt everything coming out of her mouth.
She was now standing right in front of you, so close that you could take the smell of her into your nose. A part of you wanted to take a step back, the closeness and intense stare of Meg almost giving you a heart attack, but you couldn't get your legs to move. Glued to your spot, heart hammering in your chest, you tried to keep a straight face but Meg could see right through you.
"Well? I'm not gonna bite you," she said, then leaning towards the side of your head. So close that her hot breath warmed up your ear, sending chills down your spine. Then, she whispered, "Unless you're into that sort of thing."
You swallowed the lump in your throat down. No, you were definitely not into that. Although, having Meg gently bite your neck would kind of be... No, no, stop it, god damn it, don't even start thinking about it.
Meg cupped your face and looked into your eyes for a moment. "It's just a kiss, sweetcakes."
Just a kiss. You had kissed girls before but they had been humans. Not once had you kissed a damn demon – a pretty one too.
You felt Dean and Sam's gazes on you and Meg, but you didn't dare to glance at their direction and see the look at their faces.
Since you didn't seem to resist and pull away from her grip, Meg closed the gap between the two of you and pressed her lips against yours.
The time seemed to slow down a little as Meg kissed you, held your face in her hands and waited you to respond to the kiss. At first you were too stunned and frozen still to do anything, still trying to comprehend the situation, but then you gave in. You finally let yourself melt and relax under her touch, going along with whatever she was doing to you right now.
The kiss was perfect and at that moment you realized how long time it had been since the last time someone had kissed you. Touched you in any intimate way. You craved for someone to hold you and being there right now with Meg, you wanted this to continue longer.
When you parted your lips enough, Meg slid her tongue inside your mouth, deepening the kiss. Exploring your mouth in every possible corner while her hand brushed through your hair, fingers softly massaging your scalp.
When Meg pulled away, sooner than you actually would have hoped, you felt your cheeks warm up again. She was looking into your eyes with a smug grin.
"Hopefully we can do that again some time," she whispered to your ear, breath warming up your ear.
Meg winked at you, then just turned around and handed the angel knife to Dean, who had been staring at the two of you, arms crossed and growing more and more impatient as the seconds passed. She whispered something to Dean what you couldn't hear, but it was clearly something that didn't make Dean happy at all and just annoyed him further.
"You have, um, something on... here," Sam mumbled awkwardly with a low voice and pointed at his lips, having silently approached you when you were left alone.
You wiped your mouth with your wrist, a little stain of Meg's lipstick on your skin.
☆☆
A few days later, you were hunting down a few demons with Sam and Dean, when you made one single mistake and was now trapped in the corner of the room with a demon approaching you, your weapon gone and leg wounded badly enough that you wouldn't be able to run.
But just before he would manage to attack you, someone stabbed him on his back with a knife, making him freeze still in shock, orange light shining through his body until he'd collapse on the floor, dead and done.
When the demon was out of the way, another one was standing there. This time though, you didn't have an instant urge to either escape or kill her.
Meg, holding the knife with a smirk on her face.
"Now what do we have here? Damsel in distress?" she smiled. She stepped closer and stretched her arm towards you. "Come on, i'll help you up." You only looked at her hand hesitantly, afraid if you should take it or try to get up on your own. She let out a sigh. "I'm not gonna rip your arm off and stab you on your stomach or whatever you're thinking of me."
You grabbed her hand, and she pulled you up with a little more force than you had been prepared to, making you collapse on her chest. She automatically put her arm on your waist to keep you balanced. For a second you only stared at her, until pulled away from her hold.
"Why did you save me?" you asked, still breathing hard and limbs feeling all weak.
"I guess i just felt like it," she replied and shrugged.
"You felt like it?"
"Well, i suppose i wouldn't like to see you get killed just yet."
"Just yet?"
"I live in the moment," she shrugged.
"Do i owe you a favor now?"
"Just one." Meg stepped closer to you, lifting your chin with her finger. "A kiss from a pretty girl."
Your cheeks turned all hot and red, the mere touch of her fingertip radiating tingles through your jaw and neck.
"What?"
"I think you heard me," Meg said, smiling as she found it cute how flustered she was able to make you. "A kiss."
Her lips were like a magnet that was pulling your face towards them. You wanted to feel her lips on yours again, but you hated to admit it to yourself. Hated to admit that you had liked her touch, her tongue inside your mouth, her hand cupping your cheek and the other resting on your waist.
Meg had you now standing against the wall, her body just a few inches away from you.
"You're cute when you're nervous," Meg smirked, trailing her finger along your cheekbone, going down to caress your jaw. Her touch was so light it was barely there, and you could have easily just imagined it.
"I'm not nervous," you denied, trying to act all tough but you knew you failed at that.
"It's adorable," Meg said, smiling, but then getting slightly more serious. "Now, is there a thing going on between you and the older Winchester?" Meg wrapped her finger aroud a strand of your hair and started to twirl it around.
"What? We're just friends," you denied, like the whole idea of you and Dean dating was completely absurd.
"Well, he sure has a crush on you," Meg stated and tilted her head a bit.
Did he? Surely not, he was like a brother to you. You were close with Dean but you didn't think you'd be that close. Meg noticed the confused look on your face and rolled her eyes.
"Anyone can see how he looks at you and how mad he got when i kissed your pretty face," Meg smirked. "Honestly, i'd want to do it again in front of him, just to piss him off."
Stop calling my face pretty, you thought but didn't plan to say it outloud. Not actually wanting her to stop calling you pretty.
"Does it bother you?" you asked. She narrowed her eyes as she looked at the expression on your face. "What, are you jealous?"
"And what if i am, hm? What if i get a little jealous of the thought of someone else claiming you?" Meg asked.
"Nobody's claiming me," you scoffed.
The tension between the two of you was making you insane. She was making you insane.
"Maybe not yet," Meg whispered.
You couldn't take it anymore, so without another thought you grabbed her face and pulled her into a deep kiss. It didn't take even a second for Meg to respond to the kiss, burying her fingers into your hair, pulling on a few strands slightly harder.
Her hands wandered down the sides of your body until they reached your hips, keeping them there.
The kiss was so much better than the last time, now having nobody stare at you. This time, you were the first one to sneak your tongue inside her mouth past her teeth.
Meg slid her hand down to your thigh, gripping on the flesh with her fingers and lifting your leg in the air, making you wrap it around her waist to get even closer against your body.
Suddenly, the door slammed open, Dean and Sam entering the room being completely out of breath. Dean had a small cut on his forehead, blood falling out of the wound. The fight was over and now they were standing next to each other at the doorway, eyes on just you and Meg who had you pressed against the wall.
You flinched at the sudden loud noise, breaking the kiss. You had been running out of breath anyway, so you would have needed to break it any second now.
"Y/N? What the hell are you –" Dean started.
You were too stunned to get any words out of your mouth.
"We're a little busy at the moment, if you can't tell," Meg said, annoyed that the brothers had to interrupt the two of you when Meg was finally starting to get you just to herself.
As much as you would have wanted to continue this, whatever there was going on with Meg, you knew you had to go back with the Winchesters. They weren't going to wait in the car while you made out with a damn demon.
"I think i'll have to go now," you whispered to Meg who still had a tight grip on your hips and thigh.
"Yeah? That's a pity," Meg muttered. "We were just getting started."
Meg loosened her grip so you could step away from her. However, before you managed to take more than a few steps, Meg grabbed your arm one more time and pulled you back to herself. She planted one more kiss on your lips, now just a quick peck.
"Saving that for the next time," Meg whispered with a wide grin.
"Mhm, right," you mumbled awkwardly, avoiding any further eye contact with her and walked back to Dean and Sam.
In the car back to the motel, you could tell that Dean and Sam wanted to say something to you but hesitated how they should form their words. You only looked out of the window as Dean drove, your finger slightly touching your lower lip and imagining Meg's touch on them again. Wondering if you would see her again. Have her kiss you at least one more time.
Summary: You get severely injured and end up in a coma. Dean visits you every day and realizes how he took you for granted and regrets not doing certain things when he still could.
Warnings: Angst with happy ending.
☆☆
One day after the hunt
When Dean first arrived to the hospital and saw you lying on the hospital bed, attached to a heart monitor, his heart sank and he couldn't breathe for a moment. The sight in front of him what he had been feared from the day he had started to care for you. No, ever since he had met you. Deep down, he knew this was going to happen at some point, but he still hadn't prepared himself for this.
While you were in the surgery, Dean had been sure that you were going to die. Your injuries were too severe to survive from them, the blood loss was way too big. The hit on your head would surely leave a permanent brain damage. Dean wasn't a doctor and hadn't participated in the surgery, of course not, so he hadn't diagnosed the actual damages your body took – but he saw the entire thing right in front of him.
Dean had carried you in his arms to the hospital, his shirt stained by your blood. He hadn't cleaned it, only threw it straight into a trash can when he had been able to change a new shirt.
But now here you were, heart beating and state currently stable. Although, you were in a coma and there was a little chance that you'd ever wake up. According to the doctor, extremely little.
But there was still a chance. Dean had to hold on to that short piece of strand of the chance to keep himself from losing his mind.
If Castiel was here, he could cure and heal you in a heartbeat – surely he could, right? But Cas was nowhere to be found, no matter how much Dean tried to pray for him to come.
☆☆
Three days after the hunt
Dean hadn't slept properly since the day you ended up in the hospital. He couldn't. Every time he closed his eyes, he couldn't get the picture of you out of his mind. You dying and not being there for him ever again.
Your state hadn't progressed to neither better or worse.
Dean had kept praying for Castiel to come and heal you countless of times. For his surprise, Castiel did arrive to him one time. However, he was unable to heal you, having his powers temporarily cut off. What a great timing. Dean's only hope was gone. Of course the doctors did the best they could in this difficult and hopeless situation but it wasn't enough.
Dean's mind wandered to every option possible how to save you, including the worst ones. Making a deal with the Devil. But he had promised you, Sammy and Bobby that he'd never do it again, and he couldn't take it a second time, being tortured and forced to torture other souls in Hell.
If you found out about him selling his soul for you, you'd kill him before the hellhounds would be able to reach him. You would never forgive him, and he wouldn't blame you for that. He had to find another way, but what was it?
Dean wanted to cry, scream and go for a demon killing spree to pour out his anger in a reasonable way but all he managed to do was sit still and stare at you.
☆☆
Four days after the hunt
"Dean, you gotta sleep and eat something," Sam insisted, growing more and more worried about his brother.
"I'm not hungry, i'm fine," Dean mumbled.
"No, you're not. You're –"
"Sam, i told you i'm fine," Dean shouted, feeling this anger and fire raise inside him, and if Sam said another word, the anger would be too much to handle and he'd explode.
Sam was about to say something but decided otherwise not to make Dean flip out completely, already squeezing the wheel with his knuckles white.
Sam missed you too, a lot. You were the closest friend he had who he wasn't related to by blood. You weren't dead yet, but the chance of waking up was becoming less likely as the days passed.
Dean knew it wasn't Sam's fault, and he had no right to get angry at him, to pour his anger at his brother. No, it was his own fault, Dean could blame only himself.
"It wasn't your fault, Dean," Sam had insisted, sensing that Dean's mind was revolving around just him fucking shit up. Dean didn't say anything back, just tried to concentrate on the road ahead of him and not drive into the ditch.
Sam didn't know what to say to him, so he said nothing, letting an uncomfortable silence linger inside the car.
When they had arrived to the motel and Dean had locked himself in a bathroom and was now taking a shower, Sam went outside to make a phone call, far enough that Dean didn't hear him.
"I don't know what to do with him, Bobby," Sam said, feeling desperate. "He's not eating or sleeping, he's a total wreck. I've never seen him like this."
Sam wanted to help his brother and make him feel better but there was no other way to cheer him up than have you wake up.
☆☆
Six days after the hunt
Dean had been visiting you every day, except yesterday, which made him feel so guilty. It wasn't his job to keep you alive there, he trusted the doctors and was sure that they did a wonderful job – but still. He didn't want you to feel like he abandoned you, if you were in any way aware that he was there.
Were you? Could you hear him talking to you? Feel him holding your hand? No, of course not. It was just one day of not visiting you because of another case, but he wanted to sit by your side every second until you'd wake up, so his face would be the first thing you saw.
You would wake up, right? You had to. You had to wake up and come back to him. You couldn't leave him, not since he hadn't even told you that you were the best thing that had ever happened to him. His best friend.
The woman he had fallen in love with. Why did he have to realize all the important things too late? The things that mattered to him the most?
"Sorry that i didn't come to see you yesterday," Dean said quietly. "We were taking down a few vampires and everything didn't exactly go as planned at first. We're alright though, got it handled. Like always."
No, not always. You were an example that thing's didn't go as planned every time. It was just more comforting to say that everything was fine. Everything was going to be fine.
Everything was going to be fine.
Everything was going to be fine.
Everything was going to be –
Who was he kidding.
☆☆
One week and 2 days after the hunt
Dean was sitting by your bed, looking at you lying there. You looked like you were simply asleep but he knew he couldn't wake you up no matter how much he'd try to shake you awake.
"Come on, Y/N," Dean whispered, grabbing your hand in his. "Wake up. Please. I'm losing my mind over here."
No reaction. Of course not. Maybe he should just accept that you're gone. That you left him before he managed to do everything he wanted with you. God, there were so many things he wanted to do with you.
He wanted to tell you how beautiful you were.
How funny and capable of making him laugh you always were.
How much he loved you.
How he wanted to take you on a date. Buy you flowers and chocolate.
How he wanted to sleep with you next to him, cuddled up in his arms to be protected by him.
How he would make you breakfast. Whatever you craved for. Anything from cereals to toasts to pancakes. If he didn't know how to make something, he'd search for the recipe.
How, some day, he wanted to marry you. To build a family with you.
And how fucking much he loved you.
He wanted to protect you from every possible monster that existed but he had already made one mistake. One single mistake that cost your life.
You deserved only the best. Was Dean really the best option for you? No, he knew he wasn't, you could have someone much better than him who would have a lot more stable lifestyle – safer and which had less risks.
But Dean was too selfish to let you go into someone else's arms just like that.
Dean stood up and leaned closer to plant a kiss on your forehead. He cupped your face and gently stroked your cheek with his thumb.
"I love you," Dean whispered. "Please come back to me. I'll be better for you, i promise."
Why couldn't this be a fairytale where a princess would wake up with a true love's kiss? His life was no fairytale, none of it. There were no happy endings, at least not for him.
☆☆
One week and 4 days after the hunt
Sam and Dean visited you together today. Dean had dark circles under his eyes, and Sam had had to drive the car to the hospital in fear of Dean falling asleep behind the wheel.
"Dean, go get yourself a coffee or something. Stretch your legs a little bit, you've been sitting here for hours," Sam insisted.
"Sammy, I don't need to –"
"Dean," Sam interrupted, raising his eyebrows. "She won't go anywhere if you're gone for ten minutes."
Dean rolled his eyes and sighed, knowing full well Sam was right. It had been already over a week, what would another ten minutes matter?
All both Dean and Sam wanted right now was you to be okay. To all of you to be okay and live another day. But just a minute or two after Dean had left the room, leaving Sam to look out of the window and drown himself in his thoughts, something happened.
You slowly opened your eyes, the light above you almost blinding you. You turned your head around on the pillow, confused where you were and what had happened. Then, in the corner of the room, which you had assumed to be a hospital room, was sitting Sam, easing the anxiety in your chest a little bit.
"Sam...?" you mumbled, feeling your throat sore and almost scaring the life out of him.
"Y/N?" Sam breathed out, instantly standing up and coming towards you. His eyes were wide and lips apart, trying to recover from the shock not to freak you out. It had been over a week, so Sam hadn't expected you to wake up today either. "Oh thank god, you're alright."
"What happened?" you asked, trying to sit up but Sam instantly pushed you back on the mattress when you winced out of pain and body being sore.
"You were injured during the hunt and taken to the hospital," Sam explained slowly. "You fell into a coma."
"A coma?" you repeated, unsure if you heard him correctly. "For how long exactly?"
Sam bit his tongue, not sure how you'd react to the answer. "Over a week."
"A week?!" you shrieked in panic.
"Shh, calm down. You haven't missed anything special, don't worry," Sam assured, letting himself smile a little to ease down your panic.
Then, Dean arrived back to the room, holding a coffee in his hand which he almost dropped on the floor when he noticed you wide awake. His eyes grew wider.
Sam gave you a brief summary what had been going on during you were in a coma. He didn't tell you how broken Dean had been during the entire time and how he barely slept, but he explained a little bit about the hunts they had been involved in, since you were curious about that.
"Y/N, oh my god," Dean sighed, putting the cup of coffee down on the side table, rushing to your bed. He was speechless, not knowing what the hell to say, not having been prepared for you to open your eyes. He wanted to say so many things but none of the words felt right on his tongue.
Right then, an idea popped into your head. This was mean. This was going to be so mean. You knew you shouldn't do it.
"Um... who are you?" you asked, furrowing your brows to look confused.
Dean's face instantly fell, going from relieved and happy to confused and sad. He glanced at his brother who looked also surprised.
"You... you don't remember?" Dean mumbled quietly. The hurtful look in his eyes made your heart clench but this was a payback from earlier.
You glanced at Sam for comfort, who seemed to be just as confused.
"Wait, you don't remember Dean?" Sam asked.
"Should i?" you asked, playing the innocent victim with amnesia card.
"Hold on, she remembers you but not me?" Dean pointed at Sam, looking offended.
Sam noticed your face crack a little when Dean wasn't looking and could guess what was going on.
"Well, i suppose she must like me better then," Sam said and shrugged, looking all smug.
Dean raised his eyebrows, lips slightly parted. "The hell she does." Then, he turned back to you, kneeling down next to your bed and looked directly into your eyes. "Y/N, come on. You must remember at least some part of me, yeah?"
"I'm sorry," you apologized nervously. "Are we friends?" You narrowed your eyes and tilted your head. "Wait, are you... are you my boyfriend?"
Dean's cheeks turned slightly pink and he momenturaly turned his gaze away from you. "Um, friends, yeah," he replied awkwardly.
"Really? Only friends?" you asked. "I do remember you telling me that you loved me though."
Dean's eyes grew wider now. "What? I, when?" he stuttered.
"While i was in a coma," you responded, a smile spreading on your face. "I heard every love confession you made to me."
"Yeah, well, um. About that," Dean mumbled, the words getting stuck in his throat. It was so cute when Dean got all flustered like that.
Sam looked both amused and surprised, having no idea that his brother had been finally confessing how much he loved you to you, though while you were unconscious. He had been waiting for that day, sure, and apparently you had to be on the verge of dying for Dean to act on his feelings. Typical.
"I'm just kidding," you chuckled. "Of course i remember you, silly."
"That wasn't very funny, Y/N," Dean stated, raising his eyebrows. God, you made him go insane in every possible way. "Seriously, not funny at all."
"I know, i know, i'm horrible," you sighed and rolled your eyes, a wide smile creeping on your face. "But you still love me. Or did you say that just because i was dying?"
"I do love you, Y/N," Dean admitted seriously. "And the past week almost killed me."
"Killed you? Which one of us is lying on a hospital bed, huh?" you pointed out.
Dean was about to say something back when the doctor entered the room, looking genuinely surprised and relieved to see you awake. He rushed Sam and Dean out of the room to have a quick examination on you in private. Dean was hesitant to leave just like that but Sam grabbed his hand and pulled him away.
What if you had woken up for a moment and would fall into the coma again when he'd look away? What if what if what if.
☆☆
Home
Dean had wanted nothing more than to hug you tightly ever since you woke up, so tight that you couldn't almost breathe and you'd be glued on his body, merging into him. You had stitches on your stomach so he couldn't take a risk and accidentally rip them open, causing him to take you back to the hospital.
When you finally got back home, Dean felt like he had to keep an eye on you every damn moment. Have you sleep on a bed placed inside a circle of salt, have bottles of holy water on your bedside table and a silver dagger. Just in case you would wake up by a demon attacking you.
Dean knew he was overthinking things but he couldn't help but feel overprotective over you. He wanted to take you in his bed and cage you against him with his arms, pressing your head on his chest. You'd be safe with him.
"Dean, you alright?" you asked.
Yes, i'm perfectly fine. Don't worry about me, let me just worry about you. He should have said that. Should have just let it be. You didn't have to worry about his well-being.
"No, Y/N, i'm not," Dean admitted.
"What is it?" you asked.
"You," Dean whispered. "It's you, Y/N."
"Me?"
"I almost lost you, god damn it," Dean spat, voice harsher than he meant it to be, making you flinch a little. His face softened, and he closed his eyes to calm himself down. He felt your hand cup his cheek, making him open his eyes. Your gentle touch sent shivers down his spine.
"But you didn't, dummy," you sighed. You were taking the entire situation too lightly. You weren't the one who had to watch you lie there on the edge of death.
"Y/N, i-" he started. Why was this so hard? "I love you. You have no damn idea how much i love you. I visited you almost every day, holding your hand and talking to you, waiting for you to wake up but you didn't. I was going crazy, just having to wonder whether you would wake up or your heart would stop."
Tears were rising in his eyes, and he didn't even try to hold them in, letting a drop fall down his cheek, right past your fingers. For a second, you were speechless.
"I can't lose you. I just can't," Dean muttered, almost choking in his own words and having to bite his lip as his voice was starting to break in pieces.
"I'm here now, sweetheart. It's okay," you whispered and wrapped your arms around his neck, pressing his head on your chest, his ear against your beating heart. "Feel that? I'm alive, you didn't lose me."
Dean pulled back, keeping his face just couple of inches away from yours. It didn't take more than one quick glance on his lips before he pressed them against yours, taking you into a sweet and gentle kiss, treating you like you were made of glass and would break apart if he grabbed you with too much force.
"I love you too, Dean," you whispered.
"I'll protect you better from now on. I promise," Dean assured you, though actually more himself, letting the words sink into his mind. You were there and you were alive, at least for now. That's all that mattered.
Summary: Dean and Sam try to call Castiel to come to them but with no result. However, when you call for him, he arrives right away. Although not in his best senses.
☆☆
"Castiel you son of a bitch, drag your angel ass here right now," Dean shouted, growing annoyed how the angel ignored him. Sam had tried calling him too, several times, but getting no contact.
You walked into the room, taking a sip from your tea. Dean and Sam were staying the night at your house, leaving tomorrow for their next hunt nearby.
"What's got you two so grumpy?"
"We've tried to reach Castiel but he's completely ghosted us just when we need him," Dean complained, then looking up at the ceiling and raising his voice, "Castiel, come here this instant!"
"You're being too threatening and needy," you commented and rolled your eyes. "Why do you need him now anyway?"
"For the case we're working on," Sam replied, going through a few papers at the desk he was sitting at.
"Well, you need to be less aggressive. He doesn't like being commanded like that," you continued, taking another sip of your tea which was starting to cool down.
"Why don't you try using that pretty face and voice of yours to call him then?" Dean asked, sarcasm dripping from his voice, and crossed his arms against his chest. He sounded like there was no way you'd succeed if they hadn't after several tries.
"And why should i bother?" you asked.
"Because we're your brothers and you love us more than anything," Dean tried to sweeten you up, smiling and batting his eyes.
"You wish." You just rolled your eyes, loving to act all hard to get to him.
Truthfully, though you'd never admit it to either of your brothers, you liked to have Castiel come over. Every time he looked at you and said anything at all to you, your heart skipped a beat and chest felt all warm, butterflies spawning inside your stomach. You had been trying to ignore these feelings and sensations he kept causing to you, knowing he'd never answer to your feelings in the same way. What kind of feelings even were they really?
Castiel was simply just nice to look at too.
"Say 'please'," you teased.
"Are you serious?" Dean scoffed, shaking his head in annoyance. "Just call that damn –"
"Y/N, please just call him, we really need his help," Sam intervened, growing tired of you and Dean constantly arguing.
"See, at least one of my brothers is able to be polite," you said to Dean, pointing at Sam. "Would want to take an example of him if i were you."
Dean gave you one last annoyed look before giving in and let out a sigh. "Please." It made you chuckle.
"Castiel, sweetie. Come over here, these two bastards miss you," you said with a loud and clear, but also sweet, voice.
It took barely a second for Castiel to appear behind Sam, the sound of the flutter of wings echoing in the room. Dean's eyes widened as he looked over Sam's shoulder to the angel in a trench coat, staring at you and Dean.
"He's behind me, isn't he?" Sam asked.
"Hello," Castiel greeted, his voice sounding a little funny.
"Hello? Hello?!" Dean yelled and stood up, pointing his finger at the angel. "We've been trying to call you for weeks but with no use. And now you appear instantly when she calls you?"
"Yes," was all Castiel responded.
Dean stared at Castiel for a moment, a flame of anger in his eyes. "And why is that?"
"Y/N and i share a deeper bond than i do with either of you," Castiel explained calmly.
He looked tired, struggling to keep his eyes open and had to lean against the back of Sam's chair to keep himself balanced.
"A deeper bond? So you like her better than us?" Dean asked.
"I do, yes," Castiel slurred.
"Hold on... Cas, are you drunk?" Dean asked, raising his eyebrows in shock, walking closer to Castiel.
"I might be a little tipsy," he mumbled and took a few unsteady steps forward, falling into Dean's arms right then.
"What the hell happened?" Dean asked, helping Castiel to stand on his own.
"I had a rough day so i drank a liquor store," he explained, voice all raspy, trying to act sober but was far from it.
"I didn't even know angels could get drunk," Sam commented.
"I am in a vessel of a human and as i said, i drank the store," Castiel stated, sounding grumpy and exhausted.
Castiel turned towards you, a weak smile rising on his lips.
"Y/N, hi," Castiel mumbled and smiled, pushing Dean away and stumbling towards you.
"Um, hello Cas." You were just as confused as your brothers, having Cas fell into your arms now, his body almost limp. For fuck's sake, this man couldn't even stand up on his own. You almost fell down on the floor from the weight of this grown ass man on you but managed to keep yourself balanced.
"You have really pretty eyes," Castiel said as he was looking deep into your eyes with his blue ones, his words and intense gaze making you blush. There was only small gap between your faces, so you could inhale the strong smell of beer and liquor in his breath.
"Thank... you?" You were unsure what to respond, since he had never commented on your looks before, and it was all so unexpected.
"You have freckles too," he said in awe, his gaze wandering all around your face, eyebrows furrowed as he examined your features now closer than before. "They're cute."
"Come on, Cas, let's sit you down." You patted his back a few times and dragged him to sit on the couch where he let the gravity to pull himself down.
Castiel would come to you every single time you'd call him, unless he was fighting for his life at that exact moment. Even then, he'd arrive to you as soon as possible. He'd hear every prayer of yours calling for him and arrive to you without a hesitation. Tonight was no different, though this time he was absolutely wasted, barely able to do anything on his own.
Castiel couldn't explain it yet, but he found your company highly pleasant and had a strange bond with you that was stronger compared to any other human being.
Sam and Dean exchanged concerned and confused glances across the room, not having expected anything like this to happen.
"So, what did you want?" Castiel asked, looking towards Dean and Sam while you sat down next to him. The couch was made to comfortably fit two people.
"I think we need you sober for it," Sam said, his face looking both concerned and amused now.
"So next time when we call you, you drag your ass here," Dean commanded.
"I am not a dog, Dean. My life doesn't revolve around you," Castiel pointed out, growing annoyed of Dean's behavior.
"But you're my little puppy," you snickered and patted Castiel's head.
Castiel turned his head towards you, a slightly embarrassed blush spreading on his cheeks.
"My vessel is a human, not a puppy, Y/N," Castiel corrected you.
"Remind me to teach you not to take everything so literally," you chuckled, ruffling his hair to even a bigger of a mess. Castiel just stared at you for a moment. "What?"
"Have i told you that you smell kind of nice," Castiel mumbled.
"I do?" You hadn't showered in two days so you must have smelled anything but nice.
"Mhm," Castiel mumbled.
"When i was younger and imagined what angels would be like if they existed, it wasn't even close to this," Sam muttered, gathering papers back into their folder.
Then, Castiel's head dropped against your shoulder.
"Cas?" you said, but the angel didn't react in any way. He was leaning against your body with all his weight now, pressing you deeper against the cushions. His head had moved down on your chest, his ear listening to your steady heart beat in his sleep.
"Did he just pass out?" Dean asked, eyebrows raised.
"Cas," you repeated and gently shook him by his shoulder, but he was lying there like a lifeless corpse, only him breathing showing that he was alive. You turned back to Dean. "Yeah, he's out."
☆☆
That night, probably for the first time in his long life, Castiel dreamed in his sleep. Being an angel, he didn't need to sleep, which resulted for him not to experience dreaming like humans.
It was a dream about you.
You stood in front of him, looked into his eyes and grabbed his face into your hands.
"Cas," you whispered.
Castiel moved his face just a little forward to press his lips on yours, backing you against the wall.
When Castiel woke up from this dream of kissing and holding you, alone on the couch with a blanket pulled over on him, his heart was beating faster and all he wanted to do was to see you again. But it was dark, the lights were out, and you didn't want to be bothered when you were sleeping.
He hadn't felt like this about any other human, so the feeling was all confusing and new to him – he wasn't sure what to do with that.
☆☆
"You okay, Cas?" Dean asked in the morning, narrowing his eyes as Castiel slowly walked into the kitchen where Dean was sitting, drinking his morning coffee.
"My head hurts, body is trembling and i feel a little sick," Castiel described as he sat down on a chair, even the light through the window blinding him a little.
"And that's what a hangover feels like," Dean smirked but soon turned more serious. "But seriously, Cas. Why answer Y/N's calls and not ours?"
"I'm rather... fond of her," Castiel answered. "I can't explain it properly."
"Fond of her?" Dean repeated, raising his eyebrows.
Right then, you walked into the kitchen, looking at the two guys having a chat at the table. Castiel instantly ignored Dean when your presence was added to their company.
"G'morning, guys," you greeted and smiled, looking at Castiel. "Are you feeling alright? You look quite pale. Do you want something to eat?"
"I'll survive, but thank you," Castiel replied and gave you an awkward smile.
"Alright. Well, let me know if there's any way i can help you with," you said and patted Castiel's shoulder. "I know hangovers suck."
"I'll be fine," Castiel promised. When you lifted your hand away from his shoulder, Castiel instantly missed your touch and would have wanted to keep your hand there longer, the ghost of your fingers lingering there.
You were about to exit the room but Castiel cleared his throat and got himself to speak up.
"Y/N."
"Hm?"
"I... i deeply apologize my behavior yesterday," Castiel said, feeling embarrassed.
"It's alright, Cas. Don't worry about it," you smiled.
"Hey, why didn't you apologize to me?" Dean asked, sounding all offended.
"This isn't your house," Cas pointed out. "And she was the one to call me."
You left the guys alone and now stood in front of a mirror, which Castiel and Dean had a direct view from the kitchen, and pulled your hair in a ponytail, adding hair spray to keep the strands from falling out. You were about to go to your morning run.
Castiel kept his eyes on you, watching every single movement your body made. Dean said something to him which Castiel just ignored.
Castiel thought back to his dream he experienced. It felt strange, having this image of you kissing him in his head but none of it was actually real. Did he want it to be real? To really kiss you? Could he do that? Would you want to?
"Oh my god," Dean gasped, making Castiel to finally turn towards him. "You have hots for my sister."
"What does hots mean?" Castiel asked, narrowing his eyes in confusion.
"You like her."
"Well yes, her company is quite pleasant."
"No, i mean, you like like her. In a different way than me and Sam," Dean specified.
"Well, i suppose. She's always kind to me and i like to have her around," Castiel said, tilting his head and looking past Dean to the wall. "I suppose i care for her more than other people. No offense to you, Dean."
Dean could only look at the angel across the table, completely dumbfounded. He was struggling to comprehend the idea of his friend liking his sister and also admitting it to his face. Though Castiel wasn't like any other people in Dean's life – first of all being an angel but he was much more direct and forward than most humans.
Sam walked into the kitchen too.
"Feeling alright, Cas?" Sam asked and was able to see that Cas didn't feel very good. "If you feel like vomiting, go to the bathroom. Y/N gets pissed if someone spills anything on the floor."
"I'm fine," Castiel mumbled.
"Uh-huh," Sam muttered, not believing him at all.
"Did Y/N leave outside?" Dean asked.
"Yeah, just a moment ago," Sam confirmed. "Why?"
"I heard why Cas answers only Y/N's calls these days," Dean said, making Sam to raise his eyebrows. "He has a little crush on her."
Sam turned towards Castiel who was avoiding both of their gazes on him.
"That explains so much," Sam said.
"What do you mean?" Castiel furrowed his eyebrows.
"Well, the way you always say 'yes' to everything she suggests," Sam said. "Or stare at her a little too long. Or always ask where you are whenever you come to us and she's not present. Should i continue listing all the small things i've noticed?"
"No, that's enough," Castiel said, feeling too ill to keep himself focused on talking about his feelings on you to your brothers.
"You know. I know i took you to a brothel a while ago and tried to get you laid," Dean said, sounding a little more awkward now. "And we still have the mission going on to lose your virginity." Dean leaned closer to Castiel. "But i'm not gonna help you to bang my sister."
"Bang?" Castiel narrowed his eyes, while Dean rolled his.
"Sex, Cas. Sex."
"I'm not going to be a part of this conversation," Sam mumbled and shook his head, leaving the kitchen to let his brother and the angel continue their conversation alone.
"While i do find her physically very attractive, i didn't imagine to execute that act with her," Castiel said. It was a partial lie, even though the image of you and him being intimate together had appeared in his dream which he wasn't able to control by his own will.
"Forgot my wallet," you said and rushed to the kitchen, your wallet on top of the drawer. You stopped and looked at Dean and Castiel who had both fallen silent, looking slightly startled. "Did i interrupt something?"
"Oh, no, nothing. Nothing at all," Dean insisted with that smile that made you question his words but you didn't care to start interrogating him.
"Alright," you said slowly.
When you had left again and Dean was about to turn back to Castiel, he was already gone, leaving Dean by himself.
Summary: Just a few days after Dean was killed by the Hell hounds and sent to Hell, you find out that you're pregnant. Now, four months later, he comes back.
Warnings: None, just angst with happy ending <3
☆☆
After Dean's death, you didn't eat, sleep, go to shower, leave your house for days – you were practically unable to do anything. You barely managed to get out of bed and distanced yourself even from Sam. You didn't answer phone calls and eventually turned off your phone, ignoring Bobby and Sam ringing your doorbell. You simply sealed yourself inside your house, lines of salt in front of windows and doors to keep everything else outside as well. A mere precaution.
And sitting alone at home in tears, piles of used tissues and self-pity, it truly felt like a mistake you could have avoided if you had enough self-control.
It was the worst heartbreak you had and would ever go through, at least that's how it felt like. You hadn't experienced a death of a loved one before, but of course nobody would get used to losing someone important to them, not really. It truly felt like you could never move on from this.
You had known since the beginning of getting to know Dean and how he lived his life that it would be a mistake to let yourself fall in love with a hunter.
However, something unexpected happened soon after Dean's death. Something you hadn't seen coming at all. Just a few days after his death, you had started to feel sick and would vomit over and over again until your stomach hurt like hell and throat was burning.
You were pregnant.
You had stared at the pregnancy test, those two haunting lines, for what felt like forever, sitting on the toilet seat all alone. Unintentionally you had stopped breathing, your hands were shaking and heart racing so fast you felt like a heart attack wasn't far away.
Fuck. This wasn't what you had planned. Sure, you'd like to have kids but right now? Without Dean by your side? You weren't ready to be a single mother, even though you knew for sure that Sam and Bobby would be there for you and help you. But neither of them were the father of your child.
Having a part of Dean inside you, still with you, made you burst into tears for the hundredth time.
☆☆
Four months passed. Sam had tried everything he could to bring his brother back to him, back to you, but it was useless. There was no way to bring him back. He didn't bring you to the mess of several plans he had because a voice in his head whispered that they'd all fail and you'd only get false hope when there was no real hope left anymore.
That was, until Dean one day casually showed up at his doorstep. There he suddenly was, more alive than ever, looking at Sam, Bobby awkwardly standing next to him. Sam's first reaction was obviously that this was a demon dressed as Dean or a shapeshifter but it wasn't. He was Dean, his brother.
His brother had returned from Hell among the living. How? That was a good question which didn't yet have an answer.
"Have you gone to see Y/N yet?" Sam had asked after a while of chatting and trying to figure out what was going on.
"No, i haven't," Dean mumbled, his gaze falling into his hands on his lap. He was more anxious to face you than Sam for a reason he wasn't sure about. Maybe because Sam was way more used to the life of demons and Hell than you were.
"You'll cause her a damn heart attack if you just show up at her doorstep like this," Bobby pointed out, standing next to him arms crossed against his chest.
Sam knew about your pregnancy, of course he did. Your pregnancy wasn't too far in yet to show clearly that you were expecting a child, but if you wore tight clothes such as a top, people could definitely notice your growing stomach.
"Well, how should i do that then?" Dean asked.
God, going to see you again was the first thing he would have wanted to do after crawling out of his grave. He missed you more than anything else. The thought of you was one of the only things that somewhat helped him to stay sane in Hell.
☆☆
Sam and Bobby were coming for a visit tonight to have dinner with you. Sam came over to your place quite often these days to keep you company, knowing that you barely saw anyone, having almost no social life.
When they stepped inside your house, and you saw the third, highly unexpected visitor, the entire world around you stopped for a moment. Your body froze still and for a while it felt like your organs stopped working. You weren't able to get air into your lungs, heart felt like stone and brain not able to comprehend whatever the hell was happening. It all felt like you were dreaming or hallucinating.
"Y/N," Dean said. No, it was just someone who looked like Dean. It wasn't the real Dean. The Dean you fell in love with five years ago had died, there was no doubt about it. He was dead. This man, creature, in front of you? A demon, shapeshifter – whatever kind of monster, just not a human being.
When Dean took a cautious step towards you, you suddenly got the ability to move again, instantly taking two steps back towards the kitchen counter.
"Y/N, i –"
"We already tried that," Sam said, having expected you to have even worse breakdown. "And he's not a shapeshifter either."
Before giving Dean a chance to explain himself, you quickly grabbed a jar of salt from the table, opened the lid and threw the salt on Dean's face. He closed his eyes before getting salt into his eyes, seeing this sort of reaction coming.
Nothing happened.
You stared at Dean with wide eyes, throat feeling tight and chest heavy when Dean looked at you after brushing the salt off his face and hair.
The look in his eyes was full of both sadness and relief. "Y/N, sweetheart," Dean said quietly. "It's me."
Your eyes started watering but you forced the tears to stay in. "No," you breathed out and turned away from him, starting to pace back and forth, holding your head with your hands. Panic started to grow inside you. "No, no, no. I'm going crazy. I'm hallucinating, it's not real, not real."
Sam walked towards you and laid his hands on your shoulders, making you to look him into his eyes. "Y/N, listen," Sam said calmly and spoke his words slowly, making sure you understood everything through the pounding in your head. "He's not a demon or anything else than our Dean. We don't know how, but he got back."
You only looked at Sam for a moment like he had gone crazy. Dean was dead. He wasn't just casually standing in your kitchen after the past four months of being gone.
"It's not a trick, i promise," Sam assured you, squeezing your shoulder.
You slowly turned your head towards Dean, who had kept his eyes on you the entire time. All he wanted to do right now was to grab you in his arms and squeeze your body so hard that your bodies would merge into one. When you made eye contact with him, his eyes started to tear up too.
You fully burst out crying and let the tears flow freely down your cheeks. Dean walked towards you and finally wrapped his arms around you, pulling you into the tightest hug he had ever given to you.
"I missed you so much," you cried, clinging on his leather jacket with your fists, afraid that he really was just an illusion and would vanish away from you any second now. That this was all a dream and you'd wake up to the cruel and cold reality where he didn't exist anymore.
"I missed you too, love," Dean whispered, breath hot against your hair.
"You're real," you sighed, still trying to convince yourself that it was all real, taking the familiar smell of him into your nose.
"I'm real, sweetheart," Dean confirmed.
"W-what happened?" you asked, pulling away from him to be able to look into his eyes, being completely at loss of words. "How did you... how are you here? You died, Dean."
"I don't know yet," Dean admitted. "I'm trying to figure it out."
You only looked at Dean for a moment, trying to take in the sight in front of you and push it into your head that he really was there.
You cupped his face hard into your hands, squeezing his cheeks as you pulled him into a deep kiss.
"Maybe we should come back another time," Sam quietly mumbled to Bobby, who agreed. Without another word, they left you and Dean alone, slowly closing the front door after them as they returned to their car.
The kiss was everything you had dreamed of ever since you had lost him. You had feared that in time you'd start forgetting how his lips felt like on yours, how his touch felt like when his hands were wandering around your body. Now you wouldn't have to worry about it anymore, having him back – hopefully longer than just for a moment.
As Dean pulled you closer against him by your waist, he felt something different against his stomach. He pulled his head away from yours, breaking the needy kiss and furrowed his eyebrows.
"What?" you asked.
You were wearing a t-shirt, so there was only a thin fabric covering your belly. Dean looked down your body, and it didn't take you more than a few seconds to realize that he had noticed something different about you.
You took a step back away from Dean, covering your stomach with your arms.
"Y/N...?" Dean started, but you didn't answer right away, trying to form the words into something you could physically pronounce.
"I... i'm pregnant," you mumbled, looking away from Dean.
Dean's face fell. Had he heard you correctly? You were pregnant? He kept his gaze on your stomach which you were trying to hide behind your arms. Dean gently wrapped his fingers around your arm, slowly pulling your arms to the side to be able to rest his palm against your stomach.
"There's... a baby in here?" Dean asked, his voice barely a whisper.
"Mhm," you mumbled, feeling anxious.
"When did you find out about it?"
"Just a little after you... you know," you said and shrugged, not able to get the words of ending up in Hell out of your mouth.
"Oh," Dean sighed. He couldn't even imagine what you must have been feeling and going through, having to deal with that alone. To deal with that before having recovered from the loss of him. He, himself, had ended up in literal Hell, but he cared much more about your feelings, your sadness, than his own sufferings. You were his priority and would always stay as one.
Dean tried to process the entire thing in his head for a moment. This wasn't something he had at all expected to hear during this surprise visit of his. You weren't sure what to say either.
"Yes," you confirmed. Your cheeks were wet from tears and more was still coming, but now you managed to let out a laugh, which made Dean smile. The sad tears were slowly turning into happy tears.
"So, i... i'll be a dad?" Dean asked, not believing the words to be true.
Him? ...a dad?
He had been through misery and torture in their all forms for several decades, which for you was only four months. After all that suffering, he could simply come back home to you and find out that you were expecting a baby? His child? That was too good to be true. Dean felt like he didn't deserve such thing, especially after everything he had done to those poor souls in Hell.
Dean was able to come back to a woman who he loved and who loved him with all her heart. A woman who he could build a family with during these dark times.
"I love you," Dean said, holding your tear stained face in his warm hands.
All he wanted to do tonight was to hold you. The dinner on the table was starting to turn cold but you sensed that Sam and Bobby hadn't actually come here for a dinner, not as their main intention at least.
"I love you too," you said, the tip of your nose touching his. "But don't you dare to ever sell your soul to a devil anymore. Got it?"
"Yes, ma'am," Dean smiled and planted a kiss on your forehead, pressing your head against the crook of his neck and brushed his fingers softly through your hair.
Dean was terrified, of course he was. Even though you and the pregnancy made him the happiest man alive, he was scared. Scared of a demon or other monster coming for you and ripping the happiness away from him. He didn't trust to keep good things in his life.
You were the light in his darkness, and he was going to do everything he could to keep you safe. To keep all three of you safe so Dean could provide you a life you deserved.
Summary: You, Dean and Sam attend a Supernatural convention by Becky's invitation and see people dressed up as characters from your life. One couple, approaching you, is dressed up as you and Dean. Of course, you're just friends - right?
☆☆
"What the hell's this place?" you mumbled, looking around the people dressed to look like demons, vampires, werewolves and other monsters. But along with supernatural creatures, some of them were dressed in the same kind of clothes like you and the Winchesters did.
It was a convention for Chuck's books. The books about your life hunting demons. This can't be fucking real.
"Sooo, do you like it?" Becky asked, appearing next to you out of nowhere. God, how much did that girl piss you off with that wide lipstick smile of hers and pitched voice.
"Yeah, i absolutely fucking love it," you replied sarcastically, voice threatening and angry which Becky took a notice of and turned from excited to awkward. You didn't even care to look at her way.
Chuck walked towards the four of you, taking cautious and nervous steps. He had wanted to keep this a secret from you but of course Becky had texted the Winchesters from Chuck's phone.
"Listen, guys –" Chuck started but couldn't get very far with his words.
"No, you listen to us, you piece of shit," Dean growled, towering over Chuck right in front of him. "It's bad enough to write books about our lives without permission, but holding some kind of event to dozens of people about it? That's even worse."
"I-i didn't mean this to happen, but..." Chuck stuttered, afraid of getting a fist on his face if he said one more wrong word.
"Save it, Chuck," Sam spat and rolled his eyes.
Chuck was going to say something more in his defense until a man arrived next to him and started talking about the process of publishing new books to the series and pulling Chuck away from you.
Un-fucking-believable.
Soon, a random man and woman, holding hands, approached the three of you but looking especially between you and Dean. Their eyes widened both in surprise and joy.
"Oh, honey! They decided to cosplay them too!" the woman exclaimed with wide eyes and even wider smile.
"Wow, you look just like them," the man gasped, looking at the two of you from head to toe.
The woman was wearing almost exactly the same outfit as you, which gave you the creeps. She was wearing a wig too with your hair color, pulled up in a ponytail like your hair.
"Can we take a picture together, please?" the woman asked, already pulling her camera from her purse. All you wanted to do was to yank her fake ponytail and slam her on the wall, but you didn't want to cause a scene.
"You know, Dean and Y/N is one of my favorite fictional couples," the woman eagerly told you. "They are so meant to be."
Your eyes grew wider and cheeks turned slightly pink, panic rising inside your chest.
"Oh, no no, we're not, i mean, they're not," you stuttered, not getting the words properly out of your mouth.
"Yeah, they're just friends," Dean finished your sentence, eyes as wide as yours.
"Are you kidding me?" the man exclaimed. "The chemistry, both romantic and sexual, between them is insane! There's thousands of fanfictions of them too written online."
"Fanfictions?" Dean repeated, raising his eyebrows.
"Yeah, it's like, one of the most popular pairings in the fandom!" the woman said. She quickly looked around her to see if anyone was listening to your conversation and then turned her voice a little lower, "I'm writing a fic series about them together too currently, i've been working on it for months."
"Uh-huh," you mumbled, not knowing what the hell to say to that. Not knowing what the fuck those words even meant.
"Do you want to hear what it's about? I can send you a link," she suggested, looking excited for sharing her passion with someone else. "I'll be posting the next chapter tomorrow and..."
"No thanks," you declined, just looking at her like she had completely lost her mind.
"Anyway, how about the picture?" the man asked and already gave the camera to Sam. "You can take it, right?"
Sam just looked at the camera in his hand with a baffled and confused expression on his face, but as he turned his gaze on you and Dean, an amused smile spread on his face. Both you and Dean looked uncomfortable and horrified about the situation.
The woman pulled you next to her by your elbow and the man pulled Dean to the picture as well, putting an arm around his shoulder. You and Dean exchanged glances with each other, wondering if you should punch both of them with a fist on their faces or just give in and get it over with.
This better not be posted anywhere on the internet.
The expressions on both you and Dean's face were almost identical: a mix of confused, dumbfounded, terrified and slightly embarrassed. Sam only smirked, finding you and Dean's sudden awkwardness around each other amusing.
"Smile," Sam smirked as he was getting the four of you to fit the camera's screen. The two strangers pushed you and Dean harder against each other's shoulder.
No, you would definitely not be smiling, unlike these two weirdos.
When the picture had been taken, Sam gave the camera back to the couple who were more than happy how good the picture had turned out to be.
"Thank you so much! Have a good day!" the woman said and pulled you into a tight hug. You hadn't expected a damn hug so you just stood there, being suffocated.
"I think i'll go get a drink," you decided once the couple was gone, wanting to step away from Dean for a second. You also were in need of something strong to get through with whatever the hell was going on here. Just barely 10 minutes in and you were already losing your mind.
Dean was left alone with Sam, both of them looking after you for a moment. Dean turned to look at Sam who was holding his laugh.
"We don't look like a couple," Dean scoffed, but when Sam was silent, Dean's face fell and he looked a little more serious. "Wait, do we?"
"Yes, Dean, you do look like a couple," Sam said. "Been waiting for you to realize it yourself."
"That's stupid, we just flirt occasionally but it doesn't mean anything," Dean said and rolled his eyes, trying to brush it off. "We're just friends."
"Mhm, whatever you say," Sam muttered, letting himself smile when his brother didn't see.
Just a few metres away from Dean and Sam, one guy with yellow contact lenses in his eyes approached a fake Dean, saying with a grin, "What's with the face? Did i kill your mommy?"
Dean gritted his teeth, knowing he'd break that man's nose and crack his teeth if he had said that to Dean's face. To the actual Dean.
"Yep, definitely need a drink," Dean muttered, growing even angrier than he already was after entering into this building.
After Dean had swallowed almost a full glass of whiskey down his throat, he saw a man, assumingly dressed as Dean as well, talking with you in the distance. You laughed at something he said to you, hiding your smile behind your hand. Your pretty smile that made Dean's chest and stomach feel funny whenever Dean saw your smile or heard you laugh.
What was so funny? Seeing another man make you laugh twisted something in Dean's chest.
"Dean, just tell her already," Sam said behind him, noticing Dean's tight grip on the glass, knuckles turning white.
"Tell her what?"
"That you like her," Sam specified.
"She's a friend, that's it," Dean insisted, tired of stating the obvious to his brother.
"Yeah? Well, i suppose it's fine then that she's probably going home tonight with a different man when this is over," Sam said.
Dean went into a slight panic after hearing those words.
"Home? What? With who?" Dean asked, looking back at you talking with the stranger. "What, that guy?"
"See, you like her."
"Well, she can do as she pleases," Dean said, shrugging his shoulders like he didn't care.
"When are you going to stop being so damn stubborn?" Sam asked, growing annoyed of his brother not admitting to his feelings. Sam wanted Dean to be happy, to let someone love him, but Dean's constant resistance was making him lose his mind.
"I'm not stubborn."
"Mhm."
Dean noticed another man trying to flirt with you. At least that was what it looked like. You didn't look exactly convinced or impressed by the fake Dean's words, whatever he was saying to you, but it didn't mean that Dean wouldn't get a sting in his heart for having to look at that.
"That's not her type, she's not going anywhere with him," Dean said.
"And you know what her type is?" Sam asked. He highly doubted that you talked about your taste in men with Dean. Or that he'd be willing to listen to your dating life.
"Well, i know it's not that guy," Dean insisted.
You were pretty, anyone with eyes could see that. You were funny too, your sense of humor matching Dean's perfectly. You were sweet and caring. Damn it, Dean could spend hours on explaining all the good things about you that made people like you.
Who wouldn't be attracted to you?
You were just a friend. His best friend. He wasn't supposed to fall in love with his best friend. That was forbidden, right? Don't fall in love with your best friend. So, of course he hadn't done that.
But every time you smiled at him, laughed at one of his jokes, he felt his heart skip a beat and butterflies swarm in his stomach.
Was that love? No. You were a friend, that's all.
☆☆
You were pinned against the wooden floor, the ghost a small child holding a large kitchen knife against your forehead, ready to peel half of your scalp off. How was this kid so strong? It was like trying to push a grown man away from you with no result.
Then, the child burst into flames and ash until was completely gone. Those sons of bitches really managed to burn the bones?
Dean rushed to you, grabbing your hand to pull you up. Even he had been pinned against the floor by another child, not able to fight back either.
"Are you okay?" he asked in panic, breathing heavily. He cupped your face with his warm hands to examine your face closer, looking at the wound on your forehead, which was only a small scratch and didn't bleed more than couple of drops. A simple band-aid would be enough.
"I'm fine," you assured him and had a teasing smile on your face. "But it's kind of cute you're worried about me."
Dean just rolled his eyes and wasn't in the mood of joking around, the tone of his voice complete opposite from yours. "Of course i'm worried about you, i always am."
You swallowed, becoming more serious too and were suddenly much more aware of the small gap between the two of you. You were afraid that he was actually going to kiss you, but you were interrupted by Sam running into the room, out of breath.
"Oh, thank god, you're okay, I –" Sam sighed, relieved, but then noticed how close you and Dean were standing. Dean quickly let go of you and cleared his throat.
"Yeah, we're just fine," Dean responded. "Let's go."
But before Dean would manage to walk out of the room, Sam quickly stepped outside and closed the door, trapping you and Dean inside alone.
"Sam? Open the door," Dean commanded, not able to get the door open as Sam was blocking it.
"Not until you talk things through between each other," Sam shouted through the door, loud enough for you to hear him too.
"Talk what through?" Dean asked, annoyed at his brother.
"You know what," Sam said, frustrated of you and Dean being both so stubborn.
Now that there was nobody else around you, the atmosphere was more awkward than it normally was and both of you waited that the other would break the silence.
"So, that was fun i guess," you said after trying to think what to say what felt like forever, but couldn't come up with anything useful.
"Yeah, super," Dean mumbled, looking down at his hands.
Truthfully, you did like Dean, more than just as a friend, but you had crossed out the option of having a romantic relationship with him a long time ago, knowing that he didn't do long-term relationships and you didn't do short flings. Especially with your best friend. What if you told him about your feelings and he didn't feel the same? You'd make things between the two of you way too awkward.
"So... i saw you chatting with some guy earlier," Dean said.
"Yeah? What about it?" you asked, furrowing your brows.
"Just, i don't know, looked like you had a good time," Dean stated, looking around the room to avoid eye contact with you. Immediately after he had said those words outloud, he regretted bringing it up.
"Well, i guess he was kind of funny," you said and shrugged, narrowing your eyes and then examining his behavior. You started slowly walking towards him, a smile on your lips. "Wait, does it bother you that another man made me laugh, hm?"
"No," Dean scoffed.
"Dean?" you said, stretching his name longer and raising your eyebrows. "Sounds a little like you might be jealous."
"I'm not jealous," Dean denied, finally looking into your eyes. You were suddenly incredibly close to him, just a small gap between the two of you. Dean swallowed, his heart beating faster as your gaze pierced all the way through his soul. God, you had pretty eyes. "I'm not."
"Mhm," you hummed, not convinced at all. "So, you're fine if i go talk to him instead of you?" You put your hands on his shoulders, gently grabbing the collar of his shirt and twiddling it in your hands. "You can be honest. You wouldn't mind, hm?"
"Of course i'd mind, Y/N," he answered, voice louder than you expected, making you flinch a little. However, it didn't take you more than a few seconds for you to start to giggle.
"Someone's jealooous," you teased, Dean's face not amused at all. "Just admit it that you want me aaaall to yourself."
"And what if i do, hm?" Dean asked. "Want you all to myself."
Now it was your turn to fall quiet for a second, smile fading from your face.
Right then, Dean grabbed your face and pulled you closer, pressing your lips against his. The kiss lasted only a few seconds, but it wasn't just a gentle peck. It was hard, needy and like he was afraid you'd float away from him. When he looked into your eyes, noses almost touching each other, he read the expression on your face, shocked and taken aback, like you hadn't liked the kiss. That he had finally fucked up everything between the two of you.
Dean was just about to step back when you put your hand on the back of his head, slamming your lips against his again and taking him into a proper kiss. Dean almost instantly rested his hands on your hips, pulling your body against him. When you opened your mouth slightly, he had the chance to push his tongue inside your mouth.
Your body was going crazy, butterflies swarming inside your stomach, chest feeling warm and heartbeat rising faster. His touch was everything you had missed and needed. Having him touch you and hold you was like puzzle pieces fitting together that had been missing their other half for their entire life.
At some point you had to pull away to catch your breath and locked eyes with each other.
"Is it too much asked for if i'd be the only guy to be able to do that to you?" Dean murmured.
"You want to do that again, hm?" you asked, biting your lip to hide your smile.
"Hell yeah i do," Dean chuckled and was already about to pull you into another kiss, when, Sam dared to open the door slightly to peek inside.
"Chuck is on his way over here," Sam informed. "Might want to continue that elsewhere so he doesn't add that to his next book."
You immediately let go of Dean and started walking towards the door.
"Absolutely nothing happened here," you stated, but Dean grabbed your waist and pulled you against him before you managed to step out of the room, back on his chest.
"Yeah? Well something might happen in the motel later, hm?" Dean murmured into your ear, quiet enough that Sam wouldn't hear you.
But he did, in fact, hear Dean's words.
"And i will book a different room for myself," Sam said, shaking his head but also happy that he you had finally admitted your feelings with Dean.
Summary: You were hunting with Dean and Sam for years, until you died in the hands of a demon. You were also a girl Dean fell in love with. Now, Dean has a chance to travel back in time where he meets you, who has no idea who Dean is.
Warnings: Angst, angst, it's just sad.
☆☆
Watching you die was one of the most traumatic moments of Dean's life – and he had gone through a lot.
He could still feel your warm blood covering his hands as he tried to stop your stomach from bleeding, but the wound was too severe to get fixed without a doctor.
For the next several weeks, every time Dean got his hands wet, all he could imagine was your blood on his skin. Every time he had to look down to make sure it wasn't blood. At least not your blood.
It was his fault you died. Sam tried to insist that there was nothing Dean could have done but Dean would blame himself for the rest of his life for that one moment.
He had gone that day over again and again in his mind.
If you had stayed at the motel, you'd be alive.
If you hadn't walked through that door at that second, you'd be alive.
If you hadn't done this and that, you'd be alive.
So many things could have prevented your fate. You could be here with him, in his arms – but you weren't. Instead, your corpse was buried under dirt. Dean had dug a grave for the love of his life.
The only one he had left anymore was Sam, everyone else were gone.
"I will never let you forget about that," you had laughed. "I'll tell that to everyone in the retirement home we'll be stuck in if our kids won't take care of us when we're old."
Oh what a joy would it have been to able to grow old with you. Have you by his side for the rest of his life, but you were gone before your life together with him had even properly started. See your hair turn grey and hands become wrinkly. Dean would keep saying how pretty you still looked, even though you were growing old. You'd still be the most beautiful girl he knew.
That brings him to this day, when the angels had transported him back in time and he was sitting on a bench at a park. They didn't send him there because of you, no – you only happened to be in the same area since this was the place you had grown up in with your family.
15 years to the past.
Dean's heart stopped for a moment when he saw a girl who he didn't have to look more than once to recognize. He clenched his jaw, feeling his throat becoming tighter and tears prickling into his eyes which he forced back in by blinking rapidly.
You. Although, you did look very different, being just 14 years old. You had insisted that Dean would never see pictures of you from your teenage years, embarrassed of your style back then, but Dean didn't see anything in you to be embarrassed about.
You were beautiful and so full of life with that wide smile and bright eyes. You were walking with two of your friends, talking about something which made you laugh. God, how much Dean missed that laugh.
You were holding a bouquet of roses in your hands, most likely taking them home for your mother, since today happened to be the Mother's Day. Personally, you had always disliked roses. Another thing Dean regretted was that he hadn't bought you flowers often enough. He should have bought you flowers at least once or twice a week, but he hadn't.
Dean could never look at any type of flowers anymore without thinking of the lilies and orchids he had laid on top of your grave.
Dean was so deep in his own thoughts that he hadn't realized someone had approached him.
"Excuse me, sir," you said, startling Dean out of his short trance.
"Huh?"
"Did you drop this?" you asked, somehow holding his wallet in your hand. For a moment, Dean's blood ran cold and heart stopped for a second. Dean touched every pocket on him and, indeed, there was no wallet on him.
"Oh, yeah, thanks," Dean nervously chuckled, partly to the fact that you had called him 'sir', which you had never done before. He took the wallet from you, quickly putting it back into his pocket. How he had managed to lose it in the first place, was a mystery.
"Great, my day's one good job is done then," you said and smiled.
Seeing you this unbothered and satisfied, Dean could just assume that you hadn't looked into his wallet and was extremely relieved for that. He wasn't ready to answer your questions of why he had a picture of you in his wallet, though an older version of you.
You were about to turn and walk away, but before thinking much, Dean stopped you.
"Sorry, um, hold on a second," Dean blurted out of his mouth before you'd manage to walk away from him. He was trying to form the words in his head into proper sentences that would sound somewhat logical to you. Fuck it. Of course it would sound anything else than logical. "This is going to sound weird but... I need you to do me a favor."
"A favor?" you asked, raising your eyebrows. "Now, what kind of a favor can a teenager do to a grown ass man?"
Dean couldn't help but smile, having missed that sass of yours so much.
"In 8 years, when you're going out with your friends on November 21st 2004... Don't go to a bar that night."
"What?" you asked, furrowing your eyebrows. Who was this man? A psychic or something? Fortune teller? No, fortune tellers didn't dress in jeans and leather jackets. Did they?
"Please, just. Go anywhere else than into a bar on that day," Dean insisted, looking extremely serious which almost made you worried and anxious, his gaze looking at you so intensely you'd almost think he wasn't joking.
"Why?"
"Because," Dean started, voice unstable and shaky, but the words got stuck in his throat. He had to turn his face away from you, feeling tears rise into his eyes.
"Sir, are you crying?" You took a cautious step closer to him, growing slightly worried of this stranger.
Sir. No 'love', 'honey', 'darling' – nothing. He'd never hear you to call him with any of those nicknames anymore. He had hated most of them at the time, but now he'd do anything to hear them again, even once.
"Promise me," Dean repeated with pleading eyes. "November 21st 2004. Whatever plans you have that day, change them."
"But-"
"Promise me. It's the only thing i ask you to do," Dean insisted, growing desperate.
"Okay, okay. I promise," you said, brows furrowed in confusion.
If you never met Dean Winchester in the first place, he wouldn't be dragging you into the mess of his life and you'd be alive. Even if you would never be a part of his life.
You'd be alive and happy. You would never start hunting demons and risk your life every single time you went for a hunt. You'd get married and have a family if you wished so. Get married to someone else than Dean and have someone else's kids. Dean was supposed to marry you, but he should be used to having good things ripped away from him.
Dean wasn't meant to settle down with anyone, he was supposed to save people so they could live their lives happy and well.
When Dean turned away and left, you watched after him for a while, wondering who the hell that man was and what was so special of your 22nd birthday.
"Y/N? Who was that?" your friend asked.
"I don't know," you mumbled and narrowed your eyes.
"He's kinda hot," she admitted and bit her lip to keep a smile from breaking her face in half.
"Ew, gross. He's old," you grimaced and wrinkled your nose.
He turned around one more time, just to see you still standing there. He gave you one more sad smile until permanently leaving you alone.
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