cyberpolygon

Family can be 3 chaotic gays in a van and a boat

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My favorite Jenna Stoeber Moments

Hey y’all, I’m mad today because Jenna was legitimately one of my favorite members of the Polygon Cast and she’s basically one of the few things keeping me attached to the channel. So I’m gonna list some of my favorite Jenna things/moments here because IDK if there’s even a chance she checks Tumblr I want her to know that people appreciate her. 

- Her GMing during the Cyberpunk Red Series is what inspired me to check out RPGs outside of D&D. I’m planning my own Cyberpunk Red game atm and I would have never even wanted to try it without seeing Jenna set an excellent example with her own campaign. I started off on Tumblr as a Polygon Cyberpunk Red fanblog, and though I’ve since stopped being as hyperfixated on it as I was it still makes me incredibly happy every time I watch it through. 

- Her comedic banter with the other Polygon Content Creators has led to some of my favorite moments in all of Polygon, especially in the Fake Artist (THE CIRCLE) and One Night Ultimate Werewolf (the gaslighting of Simone) videos. 

- I’ve watched her episode on video game cheats so many times it’s not even funny. IDK the quality of the research and her excitement for the topic seems to shine through and, as someone who speedruns and makes endless usage of the types of glitches she mentions, it makes me really happy to see someone cover the subject of ‘cheats’ the way she does. 

- The Resistance: Avalon episode is my favorite Overboard episode that isn’t CPR largely because of Jenna’s fun mastermind vibe. 

- IDK I want people to know that Last Friday is a really hard game to play well as killer in a way that’s still fun for everyone, and Jenna’s little details she adds about her ‘character’ is really great. Like, I’ve played Last Friday before and that shit can be boring if the killer isn’t playing in a fun way. 

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Briefly resurrecting this blog for one post for the sole reason of celebrating Jenna, without whom this blog and Polygon Cyberpunk Red wouldn’t exist. I can’t wait to see everything she accomplishes in the future, even outside of Polygon. 

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I Don’t Know Where This Thought Came From But Here It Is

Dasha has Bioshock vibes, Vang0 has Borderlands (specifically Borderlands 2) vibes, and Burger has Overwatch vibes. 

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Hypo: You may find a vial of...uh...liquid, just don’t pour it out. 

Burger: Pee?

Dasha: Blood? 

Vang0: SEMEN!?

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Plastic Freckles: We brought you this flower because it reminds us of you.

Em-Ua: Aw than-

C4A: it's overpriced and fake, just like you.

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Vang0: Ok, so here’s the tea-

Dasha: For the last time, it’s called a briefing.

Vang0: So…do you want the tea or not?

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Dasha: Hypo, it’s time to stop treating us like children! And it’s also time to stop feeding us dinosaur-shaped chicken!

Hypo: But you love your dinosaur nuggets.

Vang0: We’re adults now, Hypo! Tell him, Burger!

Burger, playing with his dino nuggets: RAWRRRR RAWRRRR

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College AU Part 2

I decided to keep going on this! This one is covering minor characters in the first episode of Cyberpunk Red. 

CW: Mentions of add*ction, dr*g use, and d*ath under the cut. If you’re ok with everything depicted in the episode, this will probably be ok for you. 

Hypo:

Senior

Pre-med student

Top of his class 

Almost everyone likes him

Lost his sister to drug addiction, so he opened up a very cheap but very illegal rehab center on campus.

His emphasis on caring and positive reinforcement rather than shame helps his clients get clean. His clinic has a pretty high success rate. 

He’s just a good dude overall. 

Already got accepted into the university’s med school.

He does some shady stuff, but believes that the ends justify the means so…

Lucite:

Junior

Undecided, but they’re considering psychology and chemistry  

A solid c student who volunteers at Hypo’s clinic and gets him the medicine he needs

Hypo helped their sister overcome her addiction, so they feel very indebted to Hypo

They met Dasha during one of their required classes and the two share a mutual attraction. 

A massive tsundere who is down to do anything to help Hypo and their sister. 

The Besties: 

A clique of Friends Stans who rely on the show for almost everything

They kinda suck and have a MASSIVE addiction problem. 

They refuse to go to Hypo’s to get clean, and instead steal his supply of drugs. 

Role-play on Vang0’s jumptrash server and are known for getting really weird. 

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Dasha: netflix and chill.

Burger: youtube and snuggle!

Vang0: HULU AND FUCK.

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PlasticFreckles: hey guys welcome to m-house

vang0: ✌️🥺👌

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Dasha: When I said “Bring me something back from the beach,” I meant like a seashell. 

Burger, holding onto a seagull: Well you didn’t say that!

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College AU

Inspiration struck and it struck weird. Let me know if you’d like me to continue this with a few other characters (Lucite, Hypo, M House, etc.) because I’m kinda into this.

Dapper Dasha:

Sophomore 

Business major with a minor in psychology 

Comes from a very rich family, though she’s pretty estranged from them

Her family pays for her tuition

Well known for being able help you with almost anything, for the right price

Had a terrible freshman year and wound up leaving a larger clique and going out on her own

Watches Winona Rider movies in her spare time, especially loves Heathers

Became friends with Vang0 and Burger after they all joined the theatre program 

Still the mom friend, also works as an admissions ambassador. 

Does fixer work for Hypo, but does it for free.

Wants to continue working as a ‘fixer’ even after college

Burger Chainz:

Sophomore

Undecided major

Comes from a family of farmers and eventually got adopted into a biker gang

Has no idea how his tuition is being paid. Dasha is actually using a lot of her fixer money to pay for his tuition. 

Helps Vang0 with his streams during his free time 

Failing most of his classes, but he’s the most beloved person in the school so most of the teachers ‘modify’ his tests into something a little ‘simpler’. 

Uses the gym pretty constantly and is the star quarterback 

Helps Dasha with her work a lot and also volunteers at Hypo’s clinic. He finds whatever Hypo needs and gets it to him. 

Vang0 Bang0:

Sophomore

Majors in Computer Science

He woke up on the side of the road all alone and without any memories. The only thing on him was a phone where everything was wiped except for a jumptrash account. Nobody showed up to say that they knew him, so he decided to start a new life for himself by going to college. 

Goes by his streaming name because it’s the one thing he’s sure is his. 

A TA for the computer science teacher

Streams in his free time, though he hasn’t gained much traction yet. 

Has the most eccentric look of anyone on campus, so he draws attention everywhere he goes. 

Does theatre for fun, but convinced Burger to go with him so that he wouldn’t be awkward and alone. This wound up being how the gang got together. 

Sometimes volunteers at Hypo’s clinic, but usually just helps him with his tech and then leaves. 

A massive fan of the makeup fraternity on campus (M House) and wants to join them one day. It’s never gonna happen tho. 

He has no idea what he’s gonna do after college, but he knows that it involves streaming. 

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Jenna Appreciation Post

Your daily reminder that Jenna did such a great job at DM-ing the cyberpunk red series. Seriously, she was ready for whatever they threw at her and did SO MUCH amazing flavor text. Every single member of M house was really interesting and I hope we’ll get to see more of them in the future, especially Tiberius and Luke. The amount of flavor text added onto even the smallest of details and her ability to make a mystery interesting yet fun is so amazing! TLDR; Jenna is a great DM and she deserves so much praise for her work on this series. 

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Dasha: Love is dead. It never existed. Anyone that thinks otherwise is a fool.

Vang0 and Burger: *smile*

Dasha: Hold up a second-

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Burger: So tonight I was thinking we could play Chinese Checkers and say all the things we like about each other 

Kidnappers, crying: your friends paid the ransom 3 days ago, please go home

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Dapper dasha in young blood or burger chainz in mountainous? If you want to, of course 💕💕

that’s my wife!!

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Not to be a stereotypical lesbian, but Dasha could kill me and I would say thank you. Also, the art looks so cool! I love the creases on the jacket and the bright blue eyeshadow!

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U think Vang0 says his name so much and is obsessed with being known so if he looses his memory again he will have ppl who will look for and remind him of who he is?

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I wasn’t expecting Vang0 Bang0 angst this late at night but here we are!

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Vang0: How do tall people people possibly sleep at night when the blanket can't possibly cover you?

Dasha: Vang0, it's four o'clock in the morning.

Vang0: So, you can't sleep, huh? Is it because of the blanket?