Nz.txt

Blog for all of @cyberpunkboytoy's greatest hits. Overly tagged for my own future convenience.

[etiennelux]

the ideal chai latte is one of the most amazing things on this earth. it’s a shame that most cafes think they have to serve either a cup of grit or milk that they whispered the names of spices to

[cyberpunkboytoy]

Those no-good poors keep failing to attend their government interviews [that we aren't informing them of in any way, shape, or form, so they only learn about them through the You Missed Your Interview letters we send adterwards]. They must not actually want help. Let's take away their food stamps.

[cyberpunkboytoy]

Like this post to make my social worker explode

[cyberpunkboytoy]

Y'all, I'll be real with you: I only got so much of that dawg in me, and right now that pup is laid out on the floor whining.

[cyberpunkboytoy]

His tail is NOT wagging bro

[cyberpunkboytoy]

I am running at internal dawg deficits tbh

[cyberpunkboytoyarchive]

Everyone is just jealous of my sick as hell, extremely aesthetic loot drops (blood)

[cyberpunkboytoy]

Manifesting a reality where alpha male speak was invented by weebs.

[cyberpunkboytoy]

Ugh, you're being such a boku boy 🙄 come back once you're ready to be a real ore man

[cyberpunkboytoy]

At the end of every session, my acupuncturist applies a topical ointment to help with pain relief. My clinic recently got a new one in—"it smells just like baked goods," the acupuncturist says to me.

I try it. Immediately, I am swaddled in the scent of brown sugar.

I have been requesting this ointment ever since. There is no herbal serum or warming balm that beats carrying the scent of freshly baked cookies with me. Anyway, I recently was told the name of this ointment; care to guess what it's called?

[cyberpunkboytoy]

Wrong: the correct answer is Evil Bone Water

[cyberpunkboytoy]

I haven't found the Multiple Eitos route yet, but I gotta assume it's ripe for a Onclercest situation (which, combined with Eito's inherent Komaeda-energy, feels like the fandom equivalent of rigging a pipebomb)

[cyberpunkboytoy]

@thricewire

I somehow neglected to account for the very important context of why Onclercest developed, that totally makes sense. However, now the idea has been put into the world so we can change the status quo anytime—

[cyberpunkboytoy]

One day, I'm gonna draw a picture. And when I do, everyone will bow before my awesome power

[cyberpunkboytoy]

Maybe not today, but someday... someday, the drawing energy will return... [clutches my chest to repress the dark energy sealed inside me]

[cyberpunkboytoy]

The beauty of Hundred Line Last Defense Academy is that even though a bunch of people I know post about it, I only ever get spoilers for one character (you know which one)

[cyberpunkboytoy]

Load Bearing Eito, protecting me from learning anything about Hundred Line that isn't Eito.

[cyberpunkboytoy]

If your girl keeps saying things like:

Let me explain:

I'll try to keep this simple

have you heard of [philosophical concept]?

Imagine a situation in which—

think of it this way:

that's not your girl, that's Japanese game developer Kotarou Uchikoshi

[cyberpunkboytoyarchive]

I'm someone who enjoys the emotional catharsis of a good tearjerker. By which I mean I need my fiction to break me violently open, like my heart is a piggy bank and the story is bringing down a hammer

[cyberpunkboytoy]

Life thinks of me as a little plaything, existing only to be buffeted against its whims. I might as well be a rubber duck floating atop the ocean.

[cyberpunkboytoy]

Let it be known that nothing can keep this duckie down. You cannot drown the duck or keep it from breaking back up to the surface. But goddamn you can annoy the duck

[cyberpunkboytoy]

So there's the idea of "kitchen table poly," AKA "everyone in the polycule needs to be able to sit at a kitchen table together and get along like friends."

One of my roommates just came up with a counter idea, which is "poker table poly." Everyone in the polycule must be enemies. No one is allowed to get too chummy or they're kicked out. They all also likely owe eachother money.

[cyberpunkboytoy]

What's the opposite of "fuck my stupid baka life" ?

[cyberpunkboytoy]

Yippie my awesome sugoi life

[cyberpunkboytoy]

Dino nuggets are the American taiyaki

[cyberpunkboytoy]

"what does he mean by this"

Well, do you start eating your dino nuggets from the head or from the tail?

[cyberpunkboytoyarchive]

The accupuncture isn't working fast enough, I need them to start needle felting me

[cyberpunkboytoy]

Beautiful women named Low Account Balance keep emailing me

[cyberpunkboytoyarchive]

If she's your girl then why is she in my emails. And informing me of my low account balance