The best piece of advice I ever got was not meant as advice, but as an edict. If I was going to threaten people as a joke, it had to be so far out of proportion with what happened that it would be obvious I was joking. This changed how I expressed frustration with others. It then changed how I expressed frustration with myself.
Not “I’m going to hit you” but “I am going to buy a tuna sub from the gas station and hide it under the seat of your car”
Not “I’m going to kill myself” but “I am going to walk into the desert and let the scarabs take me”
The other side then happened. When I mess something up, instead of saying it’s bad and perpetuating negative thoughts, swing hard the other way.
Not “this art is terrible” but “this shall be framed and mounted on the wall in my museum exhibition as testament to the suffering I had to overcome”
Have been doing this since high school. It was my drama teacher who asked me to please stop scaring the actors. The other half of the edict was that I had to say it in a polite tone, and end it with either please or thank you.
Life changing. 10/10 Mr Muëller. Highly reccomend.
lol
#Queued
Which means you saw this, could have told me, but instead, you chose this course. You chose violence. I'll be adding you to the list of traitors to be embroidered in the tapestry of my throne room.
Actually! Tapestries aren’t embroidered. Embroidery is taking an already-constructed fabric and stitching decorative thread onto it. Tapestries are made by weaving the fabric itself out of different colored yarns, usually but not always to create representative images. The way that warp threads (up and down threads) are and the way that the weft (side to side) tends to beat down, tapestries often end up looking like Ye Olde Pixel Art
I see you that you yearn to be included in my saga like a dog whining at the door. While your chosen name might have earned you a more interesting placement had you chosen another path, no. You’ve ruined your chance. You don’t even get to have a tiny gyphon next to your name. Or a little flame symbol. You’re going on there in a poorly kerned sans serif whip stitch.
The Bayeux Tapestry, which has the highest name recognition of any tapestry in the western world, was made to brag on the accomplishments of the Norman Conquest, and dunk on their enemies. Exactly as mine shall.
Thus. It is the archetype of fiber craft throne room victory laps, and reflects the standard of the Middle Ages. It is embroidered with colored wool thread on linen. As my list of enemies continues to grow with each passing day, my choice to use an embroidery technique rather than weaving ensures that I don’t have to overtax my weavers whenever a new foe must be added to the record. I could also easily order them remove a name without undoing all the work that came after, but that is theoretical. No one has ever been forgiven. The list of betrayers only expands.
