The King of Mistakes

Well, there will come a time I will look in your eye and you will pray to the God that you've always denied.

[cyrus-alderate]

Better than Before ♕ Cyrus & Keegan

[keegangates]

Keegan waited behind for Cyrus to return with the goods, and she couldn’t help but keep the goofy smile on her face as she watched him contend with the cashier.  This was the happiest she had been in months.  It finally seemed as if she was living the life she longed to live.  Waiting giddily for her man to come back to her with presents and teasing of the intimacy that was to come later.  If it wasn’t for the whole baby issue, it was almost as if the past year and some months never happened.  All of the depression and overdoses were behind her.  Keegan was never going back, the past was in the past.  She was ready to go on with her life and let it go.  

When Cyrus returned, she thanked him with a quick kiss on the cheek and laced her arm through his.  Leaning in towards his ear, she stood on her toes to get closer, “I’m ready for that last one-third now.”  She answered, her voice low.

The two began walking out of the store and into the streets of the Capitol.  Once more, the dirty and nosey looks ensued and it seemed as though the two were a spectacle.  Her eyes caught one of the dark Capitol cabs a block down from there current location and she immediately raised her hand to flag it down, knowing that the cab probably knew who they were a mile away and was willing to stop.  

"I think we need a little privacy."  Keegan smirked as the cab rolled up to the curb and she pulled him into the vehicle with her, now surrounded by tinted windows and black leather interior.

"Training Facilities."  She demanded at the driver before straddling Cyrus, the screen rising between the two and the driver.  Reaching for the nape of his neck, she pulled him towards her and pushed her lips against his, loving the control she had.  "I wasn’t lying when I said I was ready now."

[cyrus-alderate]

There was a notable pep in Cyrus’ step and a glow in his azure eyes to match.  Placing the items onto the table nearby was irrelevant as Keegan’s sweet voice crept into his ears and captured his attention.  A mischievous grin pried itself onto his lips as he followed, his heart beating quickly in anticipation.  It had been far too long since he’d been in bed with Keegan and out of all the women in his life, she was the only one to somehow tame his wild spirit.  This time had to be cherished; and so it would. 

Being in public was the only downside, his arm laced with hers as they strolled down the busy Capitol streets with prying eyes keeping watch of their every move was infuriating.  No matter how much he wanted to squash them his mind was still on the goddess by his side.  With Keegan there were no other distractions; he found that she was the only thing that could fill his mind so completely. 

So as she waved down the cab, he giddily followed inside and dropped the bags in haste.  Pulling his lips up to her neck, he began a trail up to her ear where he chuckled.  “And I wasn’t lying when I said you can have anything you want.  I’m going to make it all up to you, Keegs, and it’s going to start today.”  Their lips then met, his hand reaching over behind her hip to hold her as they embraced.

[asher-j-hawthorne]

In True Wingman Fashion| Casher

[asher-j-hawthorne]

Fuck you, Ashman.

“No, no, fuck her. That’s what the love gloves are for.”

He crashed down on the couch, kicking his feet on the coffee table as he twisted the cap off his beer. Taking a swig from the bottle, he smirked at Cyrus.

“So where is she?” He surveyed the room, finding pieces, touches of femininity that, unless Cyrus was hiding something, were obviously the work of the District One beauty.

Choking back childish chortles, he eyed Cy again.

“I’m not interrupting, am I?” He settled farther into the couch, drinking heartily from his bottle.

He pulled the beverage away from his lips as his fellow Mentor continued with more sincerity.

“Jesus, man, what did I do for you? I bought you condoms and helped you keep your shit in a bathroom. Don’t worry about it.”

A smile lit his eyes as he took another drink.

“If you really want to pay me back, strippers are always good.”

[cyrus-alderate]

Cyrus couldn’t control the elbow that he rammed into the other’s shoulder, a sarcastic response to the man’s douche-baggery.  Though it was true, Cyrus was anxious to get back in the bedroom officially.  The only drawback was the little pest that they’d managed to create a year ago.  Another mishap like that would only be his downfall.  Though with generous contributions and ample supply…

 “She’s asleep in the bedroom.  And mind you, that’s what she needs to be doing.  Doc’s orders and that bullshit.” Cyrus listed, a distasteful sigh escaping him.  He noted it as ‘bullshit’ but it wasn’t—not really.  To him it was vital in hopes that Keegan would recover quickly. 

“But now you’re making me regret being in debt to you, Asher.  Don’t be a dick and even though I know that’s the only part of your body you get any use out of, you shouldn’t let that head do all the thinking.”  He chuckled, taking his beer and sitting down on the Capitol couch. 

It was odd to him how natural this conversation was facing the fact that he hardly knew Asher other than the information sheets Snow had previously given.  “So what makes you think I’ll get you strippers?  I wouldn’t invest on something like that if I knew I couldn’t partake in it myself so I think an extra few numbers in your paycheck might do the trick.  But eh, that’s only my greedy side talking.  Perhaps you’re not like that at all.”

[just-jake-gyllenhaal]

[cyrus-alderate]

Mr. Alderate seen spending time with Zara Watts from District Five before she entered the arena.

[cyrus-alderate]

Better than Before ♕ Cyrus & Keegan

[keegangates]

Keegan was delighted at the way things were going.  Looks from passer-bys were minimal and not nearly as obnoxious as she predicted them to be.  Maybe it was because they really weren’t looking at the two of them, or maybe it was just that she was too focused on this new side of Cyrus that seemed to have emerged out of no where.  Keegan knew that this strange honeymoon phase wouldn’t last forever, but for the immediate time being, it worked, and it helped.  

Keegan felt a warm blush creep over her cheeks as he held her in his embrace.  Since Clara, the two hadn’t been seen in public together let alone displayed any kind of affection, and it would take some time getting used to.  

"Well, I want cheese."  She answered, giggles trilling off of her voice.  "And wine…"  Her voice almost teasing, eyes scaled the shelves.  "But what I really really want is you."  Her index finger pressed into his chest.  Keegan was well aware that she was acting like a child, with her teasing words and spoiled attitude.  But Cyrus was playing off of these things and she couldn’t help but continue, she was having fun.  

Rising on her tiptoes she planted a kiss against his cheek and quickly grabbed his ass before shooting a quick wink at the associate working who obviously saw it.  

"Let’s get some fucking cheese."  

[cyrus-alderate]

Not knowing which was worse, being incapable of deciding on what he wanted to do with Keegan next, or the inability to keep his boyish demeanor under control, Cyrus could only go with the flow.  Stuck in the mind frame of gushing love, the man had yet to conquer his time of bottled-up affections.  Publicly displaying them was something that should have been avoided but entirely impossible at the moment.  As Keegan kept feeding off of this, it only made things worse.

Azure eyes trailing from her jade gems to her plump limps and then to her breasts below, finally back to her gorgeous face, Cyrus had to resist complete temptation on the streets of the Capitol to pin her up against a wall and press his lips into hers right then and there.  Instead, he could only do with sliding his hands over her waist and guiding her around with the pressing thought still lingering in the back of his mind. 

Flashing a quick look to the poor sap behind the counter, Cyrus leaned in and whispered into her ear as his hand swept away the stray locks of hair blocking her face.  His other hand resting on the small of his back as hers slapped his ass, the slight flinch was enough to torment the man.  However, he had to keep his best cool.  “I tell you what, we get the best cheese and wine in here and put on a show that this poor guy will never in his life experience when we get back.  You’re killing me with that look of yours and I’m utterly dying at the thought of passing this wonderful day up.  It’s been long enough, eh?” he played, wondering if she’d even buy his ploy. 

Then with a playful wink, he shuffled off to the counter to order.  Getting everything that looked good and the best bottle of wine the store carried with minimal threats to the worker, Cyrus returned to Keegan with a wide grin holding it all out to her.  “There, now you’ve got two out of three things on your wish list granted.  The other part of that is ready whenever you are.”

[asher-j-hawthorne]

In True Wingman Fashion| Casher

News that Keegan had attempted suicide was not so easily kept from Asher. After a scheduled encounter with a particularly talkative doctor’s wife, he had learned about his fellow mentor’s overdose and subsequent hospitalization. The appointment did not go well after that particular revelation; nerves tore at his gut, and he was completely removed from the experience thereafter. The nastily enhanced woman left at least somewhat satisfied, but he had a feeling that she knew he was rattled. After she had gone, Asher got on the horn with his various connections in order to gauge Keegan’s recovery. “Patient shows signs of withdrawal…” “Patient is stable but not ready to be discharged….” “Patient has been discharged into the care of Cyrus Alderate…” Weeks of searching and digging around, Asher finally located her. Snow had done a hell of a job covering her tracks. But upon finding that Cyrus had gotten to her, he smiled. “You sly bastard…” He left his apartment, debating whether to grab Lynx or not. He decided against it; this was a guys’ thing. Besides, if he brought her….they’d never actually leave… He skipped a cab, bolting to his destination. He had made this trip several times before Snow had insisted on his medication, something Asher would never forgive him for. Within five minutes, he was back to the 11th floor, knocking hard on Cy’s door. When he answered, Asher burst in, handing him tossing the industrial sized box of condoms at his face. “Figured you’d need these now that she’s back with you.”

[cyrus-alderate]

Keegan was asleep on the bed, his own body mere inches away from hers as her small breaths of air rhythmically kept him fastened onto her face.  She was gorgeous, even in slumber.  Keegan probably would’ve hated the smug smirk placed upon his lips while he gazed upon her sleeping visage but Cyrus could have cared less.  She was in his bed once more and that’s all that he could have asked for. 

Everything was perfect until the sudden knocking at his apartment door Cyrus’s nerves were twisted into a state of annoyance.  Again the vultures were hounding away at his door, their questions about Keegan’s health more bothersome than helpful.  Although Snow had managed to keep the spell under wraps for the most part, the Capitol was a breeding ground for tasty gossip.  Word spread fast and that meant protecting Keegan from the harmful side effects of the public’s bitter opinion. 

Promising to personally take care of any annoyance himself, the man had already scared off countless reporters coming to his door.  No one like the wrath of an angry Victor.

So as he opened the door with his face scrunched so that angry lines creased his expression, the immediate response was surprising.  The other man coming in without approval caught even Cyrus off guard, his reflexes catching the box with an uncontrolled laugh spilling from his lips mere seconds after realizing who his new guest was.  Only someone like Asher could be a pain in the ass but a source of reliable rapport as well.

“Fuck you, Ashman.” A sly smile popping onto his face as he playfully threw a punch at the man.  “You know us too well my man but I’m afraid that you should’ve picked up a larger box because this surely won’t last us long.”

Shutting the door behind them, he moved into the room to set the box down and quickly close the bedroom door as well.  Moving back to Asher with a wide grin on his expression, he popped open the refrigerator and pulled out a couple of beers, tossing one to the other.  “For a minute I thought I was going to have to punch your face in, so you should be relatively pleased that you weren’t one of those gruesome mongrels.” Propping himself onto a couch, and signaling for the other to sit, he spoke again.  “Glad you could make it, though.  I’ve got a great deal of gratitude saved up that I owe you, my friend.”

[cyrus-alderate]

“The justifications of men who kill should always be heard with skepticism, said the monster.” 

[cyrus-alderate]

Better than Before ♕ Cyrus & Keegan

[keegangates]

Keegan had been recovering from her little incident.  Even though it was still far from, life had been returning back to normal.  She returned back to her apartment in the Training Center, spending as much time as humanly possible with Cyrus.  She began to see Clara more, but her doctors didn’t think it was completely acceptable to let Keegan have complete custody of the child at the moment.  People treaded lightly around her, not sure how to deal with the Victor from One who almost killed herself.  Keegan was frustrated, annoyed with the medicine and doctor visits and avoxes who cracked her door in the middle of the night just to make sure she wasn’t trying anything.  However, she knew that none of this would change unless she pretended like nothing happened.  So she smiled, greeting everyone with delicate handshakes and pleasantries.

But tonight was going to be different, because Keegan wouldn’t have to pretend.  Cyrus was taking her out on a date that evening and she was going to spend her entire day in a giddy whirl of makeup, clothes, and sweet smelling perfumes to lift her spirits.  In the afternoon, she had her stylists come in for an emergency visit, restoring her hair to its previously iconically long lengths and smoothing and soothing every inch of her body.  They draped her in expensive fabrics and painted her face so that she was ready for presentation.

Hours later, she was ready, and was greeted by a blindfold pressed against her eyes, and she followed him through the Capitol.  Giggling at every word he said and every brush of his skin against hers.  Suddenly, they came to a halting stop, Cyrus’s voice providing a disclaimer on the situation. 

"Cyrus."  She pleaded back, trying to match her tone to his.  "I couldn’t care less where we are, you know I’m just happy to be here with you.  And please, I think I’ve cried enough for the both of us in a lifetime, so please save the tears."  She let out a trail of giggles at her own words as she felt his hands work at the blindfold to pull it off from her eyes.  

In front of her was a luxury cheese and wine shop, basically the two greatest things in creation.  She let out a ridiculously high pitched squeal and flung her arms around his neck.  ”This is perfect!”

Grabbing his hands she pulled him inside and her eyes darted around to the shelves of artisan cheese and professionally curated wines.  ”What can I get?” She asked for his approval, looking around at the varieties around her.  ”I just want everything!”

[cyrus-alderate]

Seeing the beauty from One out and about in public once more put genuine good spirits inside of the man, Cyrus viewing some remnant of the woman he once knew poking through every now and then although he was certain that her actions were part of a greater façade.  However, he did not care.  As he had previously stated, other people and their superfluous opinions did not matter to him.  Hating how people viewed them together, the man nearly felt murderous with every condoning stare shot at Keegan.  So there was a simple plan that he enacted upon.  Surrounding Keegan with as much affection as he could offer for the time being, her recovery process would be slow and he realized that.

Cyrus also promised that he would not leave her side during that process, too.

Breaking out of the apartments would be like therapy for the both of them, since ignoring the problem would get them nowhere.  In fact, Cyrus was almost positive that he had been the only one upfront with Keegan since her attempt.  No one else seemed to have the words; not that he needed them to communicate with her.  With just a smile now, he could feel his heart flutter and almost as if in sync, their thoughts were commonly the same. 

Now was no different as the pair of them stood like a giddy teenage couple in front of the building, his arms still wrapped around her body in a teasing hold.  “What can’t you get, is more like the question you should be asking here, Keegs.  You name it, it’s yours.” he called to her as she pulled at his arm to go in.  “This whole day?  It’s all for you, Keegs.  You want the whole place?” Cyrus noted looking at the wary man behind the counter.  “It’s yours.  And I’ll make sure to it.” 

[jessiepinkman]

[cyrus-alderate]

Better than Before ♕ Cyrus & Keegan

Three days had passed since bringing Keegan back to the Capitol training center and things were going fairly smooth.  To his great surprise, Brady was still alive, however delusional he was becoming.  Lasting so long in the arena was not such a bad sign for his tribute and a good sign that Cyrus was actually doing something right with his tributes – granted the fact that Cyrus neither cared nor worked with Brady enough to actually consider the man a Victor yet. 

Today however, Cyrus decided, would be dedicated to the beauty he’d kidnapped from the scene of reporters.  Blindfolding Keegan he led her through the streets of the Capitol only giving small hints along the way and between the small fits of laughter, and the playful banter he pushed her way, Cyrus could not mask his own boyish excitement.  As their first official date since feuding and the collapse, the Victor was more than willing to begin making up for the mistakes he created in the past.

With his plans, he could only think of one thing to start making things better.  Finally stopping her in front of the Capitol’s own cheese and wine shop, Cyrus linked his arm around hers as he stood beside her in giddy excitement.  Leaving her blindfold on, he tilted his head over to whisper into her ear in a husky voice.  “I don’t know if you’re ready to take that thing off yet, but if you don’t like this surprise I might just cry, Keegan.  And wouldn’t you hate to see that happen?  I’m not a very handsome crier, as you know.”

Finally reaching his hand up to remove the blindfold from her eyes, Cyrus began counting down until at last the sight was left for her to behold.  

[fractioussam-deactivated2017010]

[keegangates]

A Shadow Passed - Cygan

[keegangates]

"Well, you are not listening to me either."  Keegan huffed before letting out a long sigh.  This wasn’t how she expected thanking someone for saving your life would go, but with Cyrus, nothing was ever really how she thought it would be.  "You do make me happy.  I want to spend all of my time with you…that’s kind of the definition of being happy with someone, right?”  

Keegan chuckled at his description. “You’re right, I don’t take your shit and I take care of myself…but I’m far from perfect.  There are times that come, and times that will come, where I need someone to take care of me…to keep me alive.  You have to understand, you can sit here on the edge of my hospital bed and go off about how horrible you are, but that won’t change my opinion of you.  You saved my life and even beyond that, there’s a reason why I’m in love with you…so just…”

His next words hit hard and took her several moments to process.  Nothing with Cyrus Alderate was predictable.  

"Yes…"  Keegan began, not letting him finish his sentence.  "…I mean…alright…okay."  Her head nodding in agreement.  

Even the joyful moments came out of the blue without warning.

"So this is a proposal that there will be a proposal?"  She squeezed his hand gently.  This would change everything.  Maybe they both were changed, this would be the final step that would put the past behind them.  A part of her felt like squealing like a small child and another part felt like crying even more than she had been that evening. "Like with a ring and a ceremony and everything?"  A smirk crossed her lips as her eyes met his.  "This will be a change for the better." 

His next set of words made her heart sink in the slightest.  ”I’m not mother material either.  But I am a mother, just as much as you are a father.”  She added, almost defensively.  ”I’ve you’re willing to take me on, you have to take her as well.  You can’t leave, you know?  But you’ll fall in love with her the moment you meet her.”  Even though he promised her love and now marriage, it would mean nothing if they couldn’t form a family together. 

However, what Cyrus said was all that she needed to hear.

 ”Well then hold me.”  She replied, her eyes meeting his with a new urgency behind them.  ”Show me that you love me, Mr. Alderate.  That’s all I want from you…I don’t give a damn about anything else, right now, just love me.”

[cyrus-alderate]

“Because—” ‘You are wrong’ is what he almost barked out, the edge in his tone already apparent within the first two syllables of his speech.  Swallowing the vileness with great distaste, the man sighed and massaged his forehead while trying to rethink of a better way to rephrase things.  “While I am thrilled to hear you say that and I am more than happy to oblige you on finding happiness, there is more to this story than you are looking for.”

Leaning his head to the side, he stared hard at her with his crystal blue eyes and wondered what was going on inside of that head of hers.  Being the sociopath that he was, Cyrus knew that there was more to Keegan’s expressions – something deep down that scarred her so much that she would need further help in the future.  Alcohol could not help her; the woman needed some professional assistance. 

“Just stop saying that, Keegan.  To me you are nothing but perfect.  Dammit, what do I have to do in order to prove that to you?” he fussed, a deep furrow between his eyebrows.  “I know you will need me.  I know that I will need you.  We will take care of each other, Keegan, that’s what this whole love shit is about.  So just as you cannot change your opinion on me, I cannot and will not change my opinion on you so easily.  I refuse to let myself ignore you so easily again.” Cyrus sighed, his statement mentally registering so that he could keep his promise.

And although he hated seeing the frown upon her face as he tried to persuade her, better news seemed to help.  “It’s more than just a proposal that there will be another proposal.  It’s a vow that one day you, me, and the baby will be together.  Happy.  Or at least trying to live as happily as possible.” Chuckling, he squeezed her hand back in response.  He felt incredibly stupid for saying such gooey things.  Absolutely idiotic.  But seeing that smile pop up onto her face brightened his day for the better.  “With a ring and everything.  Wedding, cake, honeymoon, and—” he leaned in closer, mouth at her ear “sex.” 

Pulling back again, he laughed and tugged at her hand.  “Shit parents we are, Keegan.  How the hell are we supposed to take care of a child when we can’t even take care of ourselves?” A crooked smile came onto his lips as he said it, the sensation of being a father still so foreign to him.  “But I’m not going to leave you.  I promise.  I told you, Keegs, that I always finish what I start.  Even if that means raising a baby.”

And as she stared into his eyes, he felt that leap in his heart that he’d felt the first time he met her.  The breathtaking beauty of her appearance and the way he could look at her forever in silence and still be hopelessly in love with her. 

Without a word, he pushed back the machinery surrounding her bed and climbed into the covers beside her, pulling his arms around her waist.  Keeping his eyes locked onto hers, he let a smile creep onto his face. 

He was home.

“Well Mrs. Alderate, I have truly missed this feeling.  Here I am, finally putting my arms around you and I couldn’t feel more at peace with all the shit we’ve done.”  He sighed into her ear, kissing her on the lips and pulling the breath from her mouth in a long, fervent passion.  “I love you too damn much, Keegan.  Too damn much.” 

[keegangates]

A Shadow Passed - Cygan

[keegangates]

"But…"  Keegan began, quickly swallowing back her words as he pleaded her to stop. She hated to watch him come down so hard on himself for this.  If he was saying that it was his fault, it was equally hers as well.  "You didn’t ruin me, Cyrus.  I’m not ruined, I’m here aren’t it?  Brain working, heart beating, lungs breathing, I’m far from ruined."  She let out a long sigh, if he wanted her to stop apologizing she would, but she didn’t agree with all of the blame he was placing on his own shoulders.

"We both have made mistakes."  She nodded, her eyes locked sincerely onto his.  "I know that you love me, or else you wouldn’t be here.  You wouldn’t have got me help or stayed with me all this time.  And you know that I love you too, you’ve always known that, you’ve always called me out on it."  Her eyes broke contact and glanced down at her folded hands for a moment.  If it wasn’t for herself loving him, even as he denied her, she wouldn’t have gone of the deep end. 

"But you didn’t nearly kill me…I nearly killed myself.  You didn’t force me to overdose…"  The word felt funny in her throat as it came out.  The full realization of the danger she put herself in finally crashed upon her.  "I appreciate you being honest, and I’m being honest as well.  I want this to work, but blame can be shared.  I’m the one who attempted suicide…"  She would stop - for now.  Making him upset was not on her agenda, but she made just as many mistakes as he did, for some reason, he was having difficulty realizing that. 

"Of course I wasn’t afraid of you.  You’re a person, a human being, with thoughts and feelings and emotions; how could I be afraid of that?"  A sad, questioning smile pulled at her lips.  "I fell in love with Cyrus, so don’t change too much."  Her hand reached up and rested against the side of his cheek.  "Destruction wasn’t exactly what I was going for."  She commented, cocking her head to the side.  "I might be a bit self destructive, but I didn’t have those intentions for you.  I’m sorry…I know you told me to stop."  Keegan cried a bit harder, she was frustrated with herself, everything was still hazy and her emotions were far from under control.  "I’m sorry I’m acting like this.  I don’t feel like myself."

"You’ve more than made up for it."  Keegan replied.  "I’m alive.  Anything that happened in the past is forgiven, okay?  Stop putting yourself down, you’re amazing.”

"I want to be with you, Cyrus.  Of course I do.  It’s always been only you.  I’ve been through ups and downs already.  I think I can handle whatever you’re going to throw at me.  All I can ask is that you love me.  That’s the only promise I’ll ever need.”  Keegan paused and placed her hands on his.  She wanted to wrap her arms around him and never leave his embrace. 

"Yes.  I want to take…I want to be with you Cyrus.  I love you in a way that I never thought I could love anyone.  I want to be with you forever.  But if you want to be with me - like this - please realize that you’re getting yourself into something that’s going to be hard to get out of.  You have a daughter…a family…are you ready for that?"

[cyrus-alderate]

Again with the protesting?  Keegan clearly was not listening to those words which pained him even as he admitted them, nor did she seem to care that no blame was to fall upon her shoulders.  Shaking his head rather wildly, he sighed in frustration.  “You are not listening to me, Keegan.  Nothing is your fault.  None of it.  Your attempt at suicide?  It’s because I pushed you to those extremes.” he stated gruffly, his hands shaking again.

“But it is clear that right now is not the time in attempting to make you see that.  In this moment, I refuse to dwell in the past any more.  Regardless of all the horrible things I have done, I cannot allow you to have any more disappointments.  Cliché and terrible as that sounds, I will find a way to make you happy.  It’s all I want to do now.” Cyrus tried smiling again, the gesture failing to pull onto his lips. 

“We have both changed, Keegan.  I fell in love with an unyielding woman from One and the man that you knew was a rootless bastard that did not know how to love.  Change was necessary on my part.  And you—” a small, dry chuckle parting from his lips.  “You only grew more appealing as time went on.  You are too damn perfect for me.  You don’t take my shit and you are capable of handling yourself.” 

Taking her hand from his cheek into his own grip, Cyrus gave her a small squeeze and shook his head again.  “So I want to marry you.  It only makes sense to do, but I am not going to ask you here.  Eventually, but now is not the time.  And it does not matter what they say about us, either.  We are unbeatable, Keegan.  No one could stop our madness, not even each other.” rubbing her pale skin with the thumb of his hand, he traced a small circle into her palm. 

“To be honest, I am completely unready for a family.  I’m just not father material.” he nodded, shrugging slowly.  “But you?  I could spend an eternity with you.  The rest will grow on me.  Other than that, I don’t care.  Nothing matters as long as I finally get to hold you in my arms once again.”  

[keegangates]

A Shadow Passed - Cygan

[keegangates]

As soon as Cyrus entered the room a wide grin spread across Keegan’s face.  He was here with her and right now, that was all that mattered.  Dealing with next steps and what exactly her story would be when the press got their hands on pictures of her leaving the hospital with Cyrus could wait until later.

"I’m so sorry…"  She apologized, shaking her head slightly grabbing his hands so they rested upon hers.  "…so sorry that you had to deal with me like that.  I can’t even begin to imagine what I put you through.  How could she even explain what had happened?  Her mind was far from clear then and was still even further.  She herself didn’t even know exactly what steps she had taken that night. 

"I love you, you know that right?"  Keegan asked, her voice soft, nodding at the end of her words.  "I’m wildly in love with you."  With every syllable, she could feel tears building behind her lids.  "Every damn moment that I was asleep, I swear, was spent trying to work out if what you told me was reality or if I was just making it up.  And now you’re here, so it looks like it’s real."

Keegan pulled one of his hands up to her and placed a light kiss on his knuckles.  “You saved my life.”  She propped herself up more on the bed, her tear-filled eyes level with his.  “And you didn’t have to…but you did.”  Keegan drew in a shaking breath.  “There’s absolutely nothing I could ever do to make that up to you.  I don’t even know how I could even begin to thank you properly…or apologize…I have so many things pumped into me right now, I can barely even remember what exactly happened…how bad was I?”

"But now you’re going to have a lot of shit to put up with from people, you know that right?" She knew that this wasn’t exactly the time to be bringing this up, but even judging from the not-so-positive tones that she heard from outside her door, it probably needed to be addressed.  "People are going to talk about you…and me…and us." 

"But anyhow, how long have you been here?  How long have I been here?  I feel so disoriented it is ridiculous."  Keegan laughed and used the backs of her hands to wipe away the tears that had streaked her face.  Letting out a long and dramatic sigh she slid back down into her bed. "You know, I could really use a drink." 

[cyrus-alderate]

"I’m so sorry…"

Again with the apologies.  Shaking his head, Cyrus swore once more.  “Stop.” he fussed, gluing his eyes onto hers sincerely.  “Stop blaming yourself.  Stop apologizing.” he tried smiling despite what the seriousness of the matter.  “None of it was your fault.  Nothing.  It was me that drove you to do the things you did.  I ruined you, Keegan.  I ruined everything.” the Victor sighed, cupping his hands further around her small head. 

“I made a lot of mistakes; you know that.”  An uncharacteristic smile pulling at the corners of his lips, this was one of the few smiles that he actually meant.  “You also know that I love you, too.  I am wildly, madly, and foolishly in love with you, Keegan Gates.”  He leaned in, arching his back taking his hands away from her face and sitting on the edge of her bed. 

“No, I nearly killed you too, Keegan.  I wasn’t going to give you the right to die yet.  I still have plans for you.” Cyrus noted, sighing a bit.  Then with a long pause the remaining thoughts and doubts within his head vanished and streamed into a singular expression that he still was not sure on how to express.  “But if you want to make it up to me, then promise me that you are going to stop saying that this was your fault.  If we are going to work, if this is going to work, we have to be honest with each other.  Something that I am not accustomed to but is fixable.  And right now, I am being honest with you.”

Arching his eyebrow, his dry voice reached for the truth.  “You never ran away from me that first night we met; you said that you weren’t afraid of me.  That same night I also told you that I always finish what I start.  So here I am, once again, proving that to you.  I know that I gave up on trying to love you because of my own fears, but this time it will be different.  I cannot go back to the man that I once was.  I knew that you would be my ruin the time I met you as well.  You have completely destroyed me, Keegan, but not in the negative way.”  Cyrus nodded, pushing the ideas onto her. 

Sliding his hand along her leg gently he blushed for the first time.  “You are all that I think about.  And this is hard for me to tell you.  Forgive me.  I’m not one to openly put off my intentions.” he leaned back again, eyeing her with wide sapphire hues.  Recalling everything she’d once told him.  “I don’t fucking care what anyone else thinks.  I care about what you think.  Because I remember once that you told me I was not good for you.  It’s only proven to be true.  And hey—”

Reaching up to wipe away at another stray tear, Cyrus could only smile at her.  “I said to stop that, didn’t I?  I believe you, Keegan.  I thought that I could change and here I am; trying.  I didn’t leave your side for the past thirty-nine hours.  I couldn’t bring myself to do it.  Because when you woke up I wanted to be by your side.  I wanted to be here for you to try making up for all the times that I fucked up.”

He stopped again, chuckling at how incredibly senseless he was behaving. “And I wanted to ask you one final time:  Is this truly what you want?  Because there will be ups and downs and once you finalize this with me there is no going back.  I will love you through thick and thin and do my best to never hurt you again.” he stopped, shaking his head incredibly aware of the things coming from his mouth.  Things that he never thought he’d say.  “So answer me, Keegan, are you going to take me back and start this over?  

[kumismusicbox]

Visit Original Link

[cyrus-alderate]

Let's start over again Why can't we start it over again Just let us start it over again And we'll be good This time we'll get it, get it right It's our last chance to forgive ourselves

[iamlegita-deactivated20141001]

[keegangates]

A Shadow Passed - Cygan

A rhythmic beeping murmured through Keegan Gate’s head moments before opening her eyes.  She was not sure how long she was asleep and wasn’t positive what happened before she fell asleep, but the alcohol must have fogged out her memory of what had happened the night prior. 

After protesting a few minutes, she finally opened her eyes.  However, rather than seeing the ornately decorated ceiling in her District One apartment, she saw a sterile white ceiling above her.  The beeping began to speed up as she tried to decipher the room around her.

Then it began to come back.  Bits and pieces of the prior night’s events, all trying to arrange themselves like parts of a misshapen puzzle, with many missing pieces. 

Keegan was in the Capitol’s hospital.  The same hospital she woke up in after winning the 66th Hunger Games.  However, this time, the room was not brimming with brightly colored flowers.  Everything was the same sterile eggshell color.  The beeping sound was corresponding with the rhythm of her own heart.

The puzzle continued to assemble as she remembered more about why she wasn’t in her king-sized bed.  She began to sit up, but quickly slouched back down after a wave of nausea came over her.

"Shit."  Keegan muttered as glanced at a clock that hung on the wall directly across the room from the bed.  It was already evening, which means she had been sleeping for much longer than she originally thought. 

Then came two voices talking behind the closed door to her room.  The first was unrecognizable.  And the second was a familiar voice which completed the last section of the puzzle.

"Cyrus."  The name fell from her lips in a feeble whisper, the second time her voice frantically called out.  "Cyrus!"

He loved her. 

Or at least that’s what she remembered. 

He saved her life.

And that she knew was fact.

[cyrus-alderate]

She had been asleep going on two days now, her slow breathing becoming a pattern that mesmerized his attention so that heart rate to match hers.  Cyrus still had his hand placed atop of hers, his thumb tracing small patterns over her warmed skin.  Through the pulses of fear, he had not dared leave her side since bringing her to the hospital.  Demanding that she be treated immediately, the medics were able to save her in just enough time. 

Still, the last few minutes would become something that he would never forget.  Verdant jade eyes stared up in a cold state, life seeping away every second and skin losing color with every breath.  Cyrus could not tear his own cerulean hues away from her, his hand stayed wrapped around hers in desperation; some vivid hope that by keeping his grip on her that she would not die. 

Somehow, it worked.

“Cyrus.  May I speak with you, please?” A woman’s voice called out rather cuttingly. 

Thumb halting its movement, his hard sapphire eyes moved up to confront the woman with a cold glare.  Reluctantly, Cyrus moved up and went to speak with the doctor.  Pulling the door behind them, the woman wasted no time in fussing.

“Ms. Gates ingested far too many of those medicines, Mr. Alderate.  You will need to leave her alone and let her rest in peace.  Your presence is going to hinder a smooth recovery, sir.  Now, if you please, I will direct you to our other services within the hospital.” she gestured nodding her head, stern look situated on her brows. 

A dry chuckle slipped from his lips with a callous response of his own.  “Go fuck yourself, lady.  I will not be leaving her again and that is final.  Just standing here with you is causing me to hate myself.  You have better things to do, so go do them.”

“Why, I never.” she responded with hurt on her tone.  Not that he cared.  “I will have you know that—”

But he didn’t hear the rest of what she said.  No.  He couldn’t when his ears pricked with the one voice he’d been waiting on for hours now. 

Bolting into the room, he saw her with panic in her bright eyes and immediately his first reaction was to pick her up, and hold her as close to his body as he could possibly manage.   That’d have to wait.  Instead, he leaned in to place a big kiss on her forehead, cursing.  “Fucking hell, don’t you ever do that again Keegan Gates.  Do you hear me?” he fussed, kissing her again and rubbing his hands through her messy brown hair and looking at her with a smile cocked to the side of his face.

If she could see herself right now she’d be upset with how she looked, but to him, she was beautiful. She was alive.

“I fucking love you, Keegan.  Don’t you ever fucking do that again.  Okay?”

[keegangates]

Say Something - Cygan

[keegangates]

Keegan felt the slightest smile pulling at the corners of her lips.  Even though she felt light headed and moments away from slipping out of consciousness, his words pulled her back to center.  Only minutes remained before she fell silent.  The world around her began to grow cold and lights began to dim, but Cyrus gave her a reason to hold on.

"But…"  Keegan opposed, her voice soft and trembling.  "You’re great…fantastic really."  The words left a sad feeling in her mouth.  There were hours that she spent day dreaming about the moment she would completely reveal her feelings for Cyrus, confess her love to him.  However, this wasn’t the time or place.  Keegan was moments away from her own death.  Although, the situation wasn’t ideal, Keegan knew that it might be the only chance that she could get.  Time was running out.  "You’ve done nothing wrong.  Absolutely nothing."

"And you didn’t know she was yours, did you?"  A quiet chuckle fell from her lips.  "Everyone else did…knew it was yours…You’ve been the only one this entire time…there’s never been anyone else…not in One…or any other District…she’s real beautiful…maybe you can meet her some day.  I’m not asking for anything, just like her to meet you."  Keegan’s words were cut short by her shallow breaths and quiet choking sobs.  "If I don’t make it back to her…make sure someone takes care of her."

"Shhhhhh, just stop."  Her eyes focused upon his and her hands grasped onto the material that clung to his body. "Don’t have to explain yourself…it’s worth it…every moment, just because you’re here now.  I love you so much…always have."  She could feel her lids getting heavier with each second.  "I need you…I need help." 

[cyrus-alderate]

Tightening his hold further, Cyrus felt the jumps her heart made in desperation to keep beating.  Coldness crept in her touch and life seeped away at every faint movement she made.  Warmth ebbing from his own body into hers - for once - he felt like he was helping instead of hurting.  Although she was still dying in his arms, this moment was the one Cyrus had been craving for over a year now.  To feel her under his own skin once more and as far from perfect as the actual situation was, he was happier. 

“No, stop saying that.  None of it is true, Keegan, you should know that.  Please don’t waste any more of your time on apologizing when I’m the one that’s already plunged the dagger into your heart.  I know I’ve killed you but I will not let you actually die on me.”  he sobbed, voice cracking as her own body was growing limp.  “This is me saying that I will never give up on you again, that I will always protect you.  That I will finish what I start.  This is me saying that I love you.” Cyrus hummed into her ears, each breath liberating.

Shaking his head, he didn’t care anymore.  This child – he would love her even if she wasn’t his own.  He’d find a way to accommodate the little one into his heart just as he had with her mother.  Because from this point forward, there would be no more stumbling around for the truth when it was facing him. 

It had always been facing him. 

“None of that matters right now, Keegan.  You are going to make it back.  You are going to come back with me and I am going to make you as happy as possible.  Do you hear me?” he sighed, fussing as her eyes fell further down.  Shaking her, he began dragging her body towards the elevator, at once pulling her up into his arms and carrying her in haste.  “Don’t you dare say shit like that…” he hissed at her, shuffling towards the shaft and climbing aboard.  “Don’t you dare leave me, you hear me?  I’m going to get you help, Keegan, just stay with me.”

A plea so sincere he nearly felt as though his heart was saying it aloud. “Just stay with me now and forever.”