Are you still worried about your body shape? Come and try it!>>>uYnRGZV
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Are you still worried about your body shape? Come and try it!>>>uYnRGZV
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thighs
hey lets stop shaming people who dont exercise, its extremely harmful not to mention ableist (not everyone is physically or mentally able to workout)
the body burns 1,000+ calories every day just by existing, eating under that will make you lose weight!! you’re valid if you dont exercise.
You know what sucks
Having an eating disorder and failing at having said disorder. Having the same cycle every few weeks. Not losing weight, but still obsessing over eating less and constantly counting calories. Losing a little bit of weight, then realising you can’t do this for the rest of your life because you feel like absolute shit, mentally and physically, and you realise you have a healthy weight. Then deciding to pig out and hate yourself for it. Then eating normal again. Aaaand a few weeks later you start over..
You will never meet your goal, but you can’t let it go. Everyday is a disappointment. Everyday you feel like a failure. Stuck. Endlessly.
Other peoples idea of achievement: I graduated! I got a promotion! I got a house!
My idea of achievement: I WOKE UP BEFORE NOON, SHOWERED, ATE TWO WHOLE MEALS, AND I HAVEN'T HAD THE URGE TO KILL MYSELF IN OVER 24 HOURS!!!!
tips for people in relationships with Borderlines
and people who are very close to Borderlines, regardless of whether it’s romantic or not! I have BPD and wanted to list some things that my partner does that really help me and our relationship, in case they can help anyone else <3
communicate!! with!! your!! partner!!
ask them what things upset them
ask them what things you can do to ease their brain
tell them what things they do which upset you
tell them when you need space and time alone
tell them when you know you’ll be away
check in that the relationship is okay and both of you have your needs fulfilled
etc.
set boundaries for the person initially, and explain to them why these things are important to you. we’re not good at recognising other’s boundaries or understanding them innately. you can always change your boundaries, but let them know when you do
when you get frustrated and angry with them - which happens in all relationships between people, regardless of how healthy - have something you’ve agreed to say to them so they know you aren’t trying to hurt them or leave them, you just need to calm down.
try not to leave things angry or bad when you go away - try not to make the last thing you say at night sound snappy, etc. being away from our partners is always going to be tricky for us, and if you’ve left with something reassuring, it’s more likely that we’ll cope and you’ll get your sleep/rest/work/class/appointment/etc uninterrupted by us
expect us to need reassurances from you, and to need them a lot. understand that this really has nothing to do with you - whether you’re distant or not, things are good or not, etc, our disorder will always try to say things aren’t good. don’t be offended when we ask for reassurance, and if it’s tiring for you, come up with a specific set phrase or code with your partner to reassure them when they need it.
it’s likely that your partner will split on you at some point, and if you recognise that they have done and remove yourself from the situation as soon as possible, it’s likely that they’ll be able to calm down and split back soon. check in with them every couple of hours to remind them you care.
to the best of your ability - unforeseen circumstances omitting of course - don’t make promises you aren’t certain you can keep, and don’t say you’ll do something you don’t know you will be able to. saying that you’ll do something for/with us and then cancelling for something that could’ve been foreseen will make us panic.
try to watch out for the minutiae of how you interact with us. did you put a full stop on that text? did you say something which sounded unenthusiastic or uncaring when you didnt mean to sound like that? do you seem angry when you’re not? borderlines almost always recognise the emotions of others before people without BPD do, especially anger. if you can tell you sound frustrated, we definitely can. it might help to ask us if there are any habits you have which can trigger these kinds of thoughts
make sure they know how much you care about them, because they’ll constantly worry that you’ve stopped. tell them you love them, tell them you hope they drive safe, tell them you’re there for them. even though they know.
remember that a relationship isn’t a one way street. your borderline partner has a responsibility to work on their behaviour and not hurt you, or upset you, or negatively impact things. they will mess up sometimes, they will sometimes snap when splitting, or say something manipulative, or hound you for attention. and you’ll mess up sometimes as well. talk about what went wrong, what’s hurting who, and how you’re gonna work around it.
be honest. be completely honest. if it’s not working, tell them. if it’s going well, tell them. if something is hurting you, tell them. if you’re worried something is hurting them, tell them.
that’s all i can think of for now but feel free to add more
emotional permanence // reassurance