Come Listen!

toothsome, gruesome

[d3nt4l-d4m4g3]

how could you believe that donald trump will be better than what weve had the last four years? do you actually care about the well-being of female people or has this single issue blinded you? i literally hate joe biden but trump with a conservative house and senate is horrifying. i know you said "with caveats", would you mind elaborating your thoughts on this?

I hate having a sex offender as president. i don't like looking at the guy. but the epidemic of chronic illness in our country is more acute to me than my opinion of one guy. The last four years have been terrible for all of us and it's because the current system has been upheld and defended undemocratically through censorship and misdirection. The new administration has put forth solutions to problems that have been studiously avoided by democrats, even when these problems are crippling the American people. My issue is NOT simply the transgender medical industrial complex. it's the entire medical industrial complex and Big Food—it's the noxious political and cultural stew that is causing America to be the sickest developed nation in the world. What causes America to be the birthplace of repeated instances of medical malpractice? Why does our system allow the mentally unwell to be taken advantage of? What allows so-called doctors to profit off of illness? What incentive is there right now to cure illness if chronic illness is more profitable? Trans isn't the problem, it's the symptom of the problem.

I want the problem solved. Trump's cabinet says they'll do that. If they don't do that, at least they are putting the issue of medical corruption on the conversational map, which was unheard of a couple years ago. People are talking about it. The open can is overflowing with worms. That gives me hope. The only hope we have is an overhaul of the current system and we have an opportunity to overhaul it from the top. This is a massive opportunity.

The overturning of Roe was devastating, but there is no indication from Trump that a ban on abortion will be passed federally. If that is your hill to die on, I don't blame you.

[d3nt4l-d4m4g3]

the comments on this are disheartening. Some of you are exactly as narrow-minded as the people you dump on.

I started this blog when I was 20. I am now 24. Radical feminism saved me from transition then, and there are still some elements of it that I carry with me. I still believe in the brilliance of the writers that changed me for the better. That said, I have not read radical feminism in a couple years, not because I disagree with it but because there are other things to read. I still attempt to run this blog from a radfem perspective, but... this blog is half dead, so make of that what you will. I feel no obligation to radical feminism, only the pursuit of truth.

Since I detransitioned, i have talked to people from different walks of life and with varying political perspectives. I have listened to hours of political podcasts and read about certain foreign wars. I have enjoyed jokes and diatribes from everywhere. everyone is funny; everyone is human.

I felt disgust for the trans people who say my detransition/transness is not legitimate. For saying I'm a traitor and a terf simply for following what I judged to be right for me. I am now disgusted at people who say Trump supporters are fascists, maggots, scum. This includes the entirety of my family, btw.

Some conservatives are bad people. Some Democrats are bad people. But the majority of Americans are tired of being censored, lied to, fleeced of their hard-earned money, and made sick. They're sick of their children being made sick. They care more about their spiritual and economic destitution than about the single issue of abortion, for example. There's a reason the entire country turned red on election night. The reason is not lunacy or fascism, sadism or masochism.

My political beliefs and hopes are an extension of my feelings on trans people and transmedicalization. I will not blindly call anyone a fascist. I will not write off half the country as murderous morons. That kind of thinking destroys democracy, and our democracy is fragile as it stands. It destroys conversation and burns every possible bridge and boat that might one day carry us to safety. We can't just destroy and hate.

I think if you're using radical feminism as a justification to hate people, you're using it the wrong way. You are as unproductive, naive, and corrupt as a libfem or a loony MAGA groupie. Hate cannot drive out hate.

[d3nt4l-d4m4g3]

how could you believe that donald trump will be better than what weve had the last four years? do you actually care about the well-being of female people or has this single issue blinded you? i literally hate joe biden but trump with a conservative house and senate is horrifying. i know you said "with caveats", would you mind elaborating your thoughts on this?

I hate having a sex offender as president. i don't like looking at the guy. but the epidemic of chronic illness in our country is more acute to me than my opinion of one guy. The last four years have been terrible for all of us and it's because the current system has been upheld and defended undemocratically through censorship and misdirection. The new administration has put forth solutions to problems that have been studiously avoided by democrats, even when these problems are crippling the American people. My issue is NOT simply the transgender medical industrial complex. it's the entire medical industrial complex and Big Food—it's the noxious political and cultural stew that is causing America to be the sickest developed nation in the world. What causes America to be the birthplace of repeated instances of medical malpractice? Why does our system allow the mentally unwell to be taken advantage of? What allows so-called doctors to profit off of illness? What incentive is there right now to cure illness if chronic illness is more profitable? Trans isn't the problem, it's the symptom of the problem.

I want the problem solved. Trump's cabinet says they'll do that. If they don't do that, at least they are putting the issue of medical corruption on the conversational map, which was unheard of a couple years ago. People are talking about it. The open can is overflowing with worms. That gives me hope. The only hope we have is an overhaul of the current system and we have an opportunity to overhaul it from the top. This is a massive opportunity.

The overturning of Roe was devastating, but there is no indication from Trump that a ban on abortion will be passed federally. If that is your hill to die on, I don't blame you.

[d3nt4l-d4m4g3]

Hey. Long time no talk. After college I went to the New Mexico wilderness to build trails, and now I'm in Upstate New York somewhere. I'm a landscaper. Outside all day. I get to become strong while keeping my mind. A new start where nobody knows all the bridges I've burned. I have a sunny apartment.

So at my new job there is this guy. On the third day of work, I noticed he doesn't talk like men do, even though he dresses like one. His shoes look a size too big. And his hands are the size of my hands: tiny. But I didn't want to assume anything because short guys exist. Stop being paranoid, d3d4!

The fourth day of work he pulls me aside away from everyone, asks my pronouns, says he's trans, been "stealth" for 10 years, and that NOBODY KNOWS. Except, now me. He read me wrong because I'm not trans, I'm just a dyke.

I assured him—her—that I'm cool and I won't tell. But now it's eating me alive. We spend 40 hours a week together. On the outside, she has a perfect life, practically has a halo around her head. She has a fiance who loves her. She works a second job taking care of old people. She is probably one of the kindest, most hardworking people I've ever met. She seems happy.

But it's all built on a lie. So much of her day is spent trying to seek intimacy while deflecting from the elephant in her mind. The lie permeates everything. When some of my coworkers talked about having kids, she casually mentioned that her fiance needs to get her IUD out before they try for a baby. ???? She doesn't... have... she can't... ?

It's gotta be so hard for her. She is kind and hardworking and a liar, in unimaginably deep. She seems happy now. But it's a house of cards. a 10 year lie, goddamn the loneliness. She's so afraid of what's real, and she's built her perfect life around a myth that can explode at any moment. all while wrecking her body. What does she know about the health issues she could face? what does her fiance know about her shortened lifespan?

Once I would have been honored to be entrusted with her secret. Now it is a burden. She doesn't know that I am a liar too. I lie to keep her friendship. I lie to keep my job, to keep my new friend, to keep the latest shoddy bridge I've built above water.

I need to pretend I don't know what I know. My coworker's body is like mine, but scarred and roughened. Her mind is like mine, but imprisoned in gender, the crime of the century. At work we joke around, slapping each other's backs too hard. I lean into my butchness, crossing my arms over my chest, rocking on my heels, challenging her. She grabs the leafblower before I can. She is affirmed by using heavy machinery.

She is Deaf and wears an implant. An on-the-nose reminder that some people can't listen.

So I will not scream.

[d3nt4l-d4m4g3]

to the first commenter: she confirmed yesterday that fiance does not have an IUD and is hoping the government will provide sperm for free. It was all an unnecessary lie. she never had to spin a lie like that. could've just kept quiet.

to the second commenter: thanks for having some kind of critical thinking skills. this is my position as well.

I feel her pain. I know we are the same, our paths just diverged somewhere down the line. And she knows it too. The worst part is how much I like her, how much I want to reach out to her and comfort her. And I am prevented from truly helping her, because her suffering is her choice.

[d3nt4l-d4m4g3]

We are now best friends. we drink and smoke on her porch after work. we tell each other things we don't tell anyone else. Not her fiance. not my family. At work we pair up on tasks, vape together out of sight in the woods, tell inside jokes, text vacuous memes when there is nothing to say—we are little universe unto ourselves, and because no one knows she's trans or that I detransitioned, no one knows why we have gotten so close. This is so strange.

if the election results are good for anything (and, with caveats, I think it will be an improvement over the last four years) it is this: The president-elect pledged to end the sexual mutilation of minors, to stop mass gender transition. He said that on national television. This is an enormous win for us. Since I detransitioned 4 years ago, all I wanted was this—to not be content with saving myself, but to go to sleep knowing hundreds of thousands of vulnerable people are not being mutilated anymore. That the gears of the abhorrent Mengele machine will screech to a halt.

But now I have a conflict of interest and I fear for my beautiful friend. I don't know if she would survive the ego death of detransition, should the government really take away her hormones. She was hurt so bad, and her false life has been built so elaborately. Her constructed self is the barrier between her and the abuse in her past.

Here are some of the problems with going off T:

off testosterone, she will feel overwhelming emotions. Testosterone has made her unable to cry. If she cries she will lose control. Her brain will be a stranger to herself.

Her body will revert to the one that men leered at and preyed upon throughout her childhood. This would disgust and terrify her.

She is engaged. What if her fiance only wants a straight-appearing marriage? what if her fiance is not attracted to her off T? Doesn't like the look of that life?

unable to remain 'stealth', she would have to tell her coworkers and friends what she hasn't told almost anyone in 10 years, since she started transitioning. this would change everyone's perception of her. She will be demoted from a normal-looking respectable man to a strange mannish woman. it will feel undignified and unfair to suddenly be the exception and not the rule of society. Even if really, that's what she's been all along.

I fear for her, even though this is everything I wanted. I want her to live a long life, not perish from the complications of testosterone 5, 10, 20 years down the line. Perhaps naively, I want to believe that anyone can overcome addiction, even her. The people who are farthest astray—the "most" trans—are the people that most acutely need to be led back to the truth, to themselves. But it's a steep path out of this hole my friend has dug. And selfishly, I will not try to help dig her out of it, because I don't want to risk our friendship.

[autobotpunk]

Jesus Christ, you truly are a miserable lot. I am so glad I left radfem spaces, you people genuinely CANNOT comprehend the idea of somebody else being happy in their own skin and their own identity can you?

You aren’t this guy’s friend if you’re talking about him like this behind his back and feel like not outing him is eating you up inside?? How fucking deluded do you have to be to feel it’s YOUR RIGHT to behave this way towards or about somebody who considers you a FRIEND.

OP, you should be ashamed. Show him this damn post so he can see how you really feel about him. Because apparently you’re a coward who cannot just tell people how you dislike them and you instead complain on tumblr for validation from other sick, miserable bastards.

I’m still a feminist. I’m still intersectional. I’m so fucking happy I left radfem spaces behind. You truly are such a miserable lot. You do nothing to help women or trans people or ANY PEOPLE except bring them down. You just bring them down. You do not care about equality, you care about validation and vindication.

[d3nt4l-d4m4g3]

Hey there, I see where you’re coming from but I think you’re missing a lot of the content of my post. I am not lacking in empathy for being firm in my beliefs, even though they conflict with my friend’s. Her secret is safe with me, and I call her him everywhere but here on this blog. I didn’t think I’d want to be friends with a trans person ever again since so many trans people abandoned me after I detransitioned and I find their beliefs delusional religious and reductive. But I see her as a person that I love and I am choosing to love and support her. I keep my radfem beliefs separate from her and from everyone. It’s my guiding light, my compass—the fact that nobody is born in the wrong body—but it doesn’t prevent me from being kind and “normal”.

[d3nt4l-d4m4g3]

Hey. Long time no talk. After college I went to the New Mexico wilderness to build trails, and now I'm in Upstate New York somewhere. I'm a landscaper. Outside all day. I get to become strong while keeping my mind. A new start where nobody knows all the bridges I've burned. I have a sunny apartment.

So at my new job there is this guy. On the third day of work, I noticed he doesn't talk like men do, even though he dresses like one. His shoes look a size too big. And his hands are the size of my hands: tiny. But I didn't want to assume anything because short guys exist. Stop being paranoid, d3d4!

The fourth day of work he pulls me aside away from everyone, asks my pronouns, says he's trans, been "stealth" for 10 years, and that NOBODY KNOWS. Except, now me. He read me wrong because I'm not trans, I'm just a dyke.

I assured him—her—that I'm cool and I won't tell. But now it's eating me alive. We spend 40 hours a week together. On the outside, she has a perfect life, practically has a halo around her head. She has a fiance who loves her. She works a second job taking care of old people. She is probably one of the kindest, most hardworking people I've ever met. She seems happy.

But it's all built on a lie. So much of her day is spent trying to seek intimacy while deflecting from the elephant in her mind. The lie permeates everything. When some of my coworkers talked about having kids, she casually mentioned that her fiance needs to get her IUD out before they try for a baby. ???? She doesn't... have... she can't... ?

It's gotta be so hard for her. She is kind and hardworking and a liar, in unimaginably deep. She seems happy now. But it's a house of cards. a 10 year lie, goddamn the loneliness. She's so afraid of what's real, and she's built her perfect life around a myth that can explode at any moment. all while wrecking her body. What does she know about the health issues she could face? what does her fiance know about her shortened lifespan?

Once I would have been honored to be entrusted with her secret. Now it is a burden. She doesn't know that I am a liar too. I lie to keep her friendship. I lie to keep my job, to keep my new friend, to keep the latest shoddy bridge I've built above water.

I need to pretend I don't know what I know. My coworker's body is like mine, but scarred and roughened. Her mind is like mine, but imprisoned in gender, the crime of the century. At work we joke around, slapping each other's backs too hard. I lean into my butchness, crossing my arms over my chest, rocking on my heels, challenging her. She grabs the leafblower before I can. She is affirmed by using heavy machinery.

She is Deaf and wears an implant. An on-the-nose reminder that some people can't listen.

So I will not scream.

[d3nt4l-d4m4g3]

to the first commenter: she confirmed yesterday that fiance does not have an IUD and is hoping the government will provide sperm for free. It was all an unnecessary lie. she never had to spin a lie like that. could've just kept quiet.

to the second commenter: thanks for having some kind of critical thinking skills. this is my position as well.

I feel her pain. I know we are the same, our paths just diverged somewhere down the line. And she knows it too. The worst part is how much I like her, how much I want to reach out to her and comfort her. And I am prevented from truly helping her, because her suffering is her choice.

[d3nt4l-d4m4g3]

We are now best friends. we drink and smoke on her porch after work. we tell each other things we don't tell anyone else. Not her fiance. not my family. At work we pair up on tasks, vape together out of sight in the woods, tell inside jokes, text vacuous memes when there is nothing to say—we are little universe unto ourselves, and because no one knows she's trans or that I detransitioned, no one knows why we have gotten so close. This is so strange.

if the election results are good for anything (and, with caveats, I think it will be an improvement over the last four years) it is this: The president-elect pledged to end the sexual mutilation of minors, to stop mass gender transition. He said that on national television. This is an enormous win for us. Since I detransitioned 4 years ago, all I wanted was this—to not be content with saving myself, but to go to sleep knowing hundreds of thousands of vulnerable people are not being mutilated anymore. That the gears of the abhorrent Mengele machine will screech to a halt.

But now I have a conflict of interest and I fear for my beautiful friend. I don't know if she would survive the ego death of detransition, should the government really take away her hormones. She was hurt so bad, and her false life has been built so elaborately. Her constructed self is the barrier between her and the abuse in her past.

Here are some of the problems with going off T:

off testosterone, she will feel overwhelming emotions. Testosterone has made her unable to cry. If she cries she will lose control. Her brain will be a stranger to herself.

Her body will revert to the one that men leered at and preyed upon throughout her childhood. This would disgust and terrify her.

She is engaged. What if her fiance only wants a straight-appearing marriage? what if her fiance is not attracted to her off T? Doesn't like the look of that life?

unable to remain 'stealth', she would have to tell her coworkers and friends what she hasn't told almost anyone in 10 years, since she started transitioning. this would change everyone's perception of her. She will be demoted from a normal-looking respectable man to a strange mannish woman. it will feel undignified and unfair to suddenly be the exception and not the rule of society. Even if really, that's what she's been all along.

I fear for her, even though this is everything I wanted. I want her to live a long life, not perish from the complications of testosterone 5, 10, 20 years down the line. Perhaps naively, I want to believe that anyone can overcome addiction, even her. The people who are farthest astray—the "most" trans—are the people that most acutely need to be led back to the truth, to themselves. But it's a steep path out of this hole my friend has dug. And selfishly, I will not try to help dig her out of it, because I don't want to risk our friendship.

[autobotpunk]

Jesus Christ, you truly are a miserable lot. I am so glad I left radfem spaces, you people genuinely CANNOT comprehend the idea of somebody else being happy in their own skin and their own identity can you?

You aren’t this guy’s friend if you’re talking about him like this behind his back and feel like not outing him is eating you up inside?? How fucking deluded do you have to be to feel it’s YOUR RIGHT to behave this way towards or about somebody who considers you a FRIEND.

OP, you should be ashamed. Show him this damn post so he can see how you really feel about him. Because apparently you’re a coward who cannot just tell people how you dislike them and you instead complain on tumblr for validation from other sick, miserable bastards.

I’m still a feminist. I’m still intersectional. I’m so fucking happy I left radfem spaces behind. You truly are such a miserable lot. You do nothing to help women or trans people or ANY PEOPLE except bring them down. You just bring them down. You do not care about equality, you care about validation and vindication.

[d3nt4l-d4m4g3]

Hey. Long time no talk. After college I went to the New Mexico wilderness to build trails, and now I'm in Upstate New York somewhere. I'm a landscaper. Outside all day. I get to become strong while keeping my mind. A new start where nobody knows all the bridges I've burned. I have a sunny apartment.

So at my new job there is this guy. On the third day of work, I noticed he doesn't talk like men do, even though he dresses like one. His shoes look a size too big. And his hands are the size of my hands: tiny. But I didn't want to assume anything because short guys exist. Stop being paranoid, d3d4!

The fourth day of work he pulls me aside away from everyone, asks my pronouns, says he's trans, been "stealth" for 10 years, and that NOBODY KNOWS. Except, now me. He read me wrong because I'm not trans, I'm just a dyke.

I assured him—her—that I'm cool and I won't tell. But now it's eating me alive. We spend 40 hours a week together. On the outside, she has a perfect life, practically has a halo around her head. She has a fiance who loves her. She works a second job taking care of old people. She is probably one of the kindest, most hardworking people I've ever met. She seems happy.

But it's all built on a lie. So much of her day is spent trying to seek intimacy while deflecting from the elephant in her mind. The lie permeates everything. When some of my coworkers talked about having kids, she casually mentioned that her fiance needs to get her IUD out before they try for a baby. ???? She doesn't... have... she can't... ?

It's gotta be so hard for her. She is kind and hardworking and a liar, in unimaginably deep. She seems happy now. But it's a house of cards. a 10 year lie, goddamn the loneliness. She's so afraid of what's real, and she's built her perfect life around a myth that can explode at any moment. all while wrecking her body. What does she know about the health issues she could face? what does her fiance know about her shortened lifespan?

Once I would have been honored to be entrusted with her secret. Now it is a burden. She doesn't know that I am a liar too. I lie to keep her friendship. I lie to keep my job, to keep my new friend, to keep the latest shoddy bridge I've built above water.

I need to pretend I don't know what I know. My coworker's body is like mine, but scarred and roughened. Her mind is like mine, but imprisoned in gender, the crime of the century. At work we joke around, slapping each other's backs too hard. I lean into my butchness, crossing my arms over my chest, rocking on my heels, challenging her. She grabs the leafblower before I can. She is affirmed by using heavy machinery.

She is Deaf and wears an implant. An on-the-nose reminder that some people can't listen.

So I will not scream.

[d3nt4l-d4m4g3]

to the first commenter: she confirmed yesterday that fiance does not have an IUD and is hoping the government will provide sperm for free. It was all an unnecessary lie. she never had to spin a lie like that. could've just kept quiet.

to the second commenter: thanks for having some kind of critical thinking skills. this is my position as well.

I feel her pain. I know we are the same, our paths just diverged somewhere down the line. And she knows it too. The worst part is how much I like her, how much I want to reach out to her and comfort her. And I am prevented from truly helping her, because her suffering is her choice.

[d3nt4l-d4m4g3]

We are now best friends. we drink and smoke on her porch after work. we tell each other things we don't tell anyone else. Not her fiance. not my family. At work we pair up on tasks, vape together out of sight in the woods, tell inside jokes, text vacuous memes when there is nothing to say—we are little universe unto ourselves, and because no one knows she's trans or that I detransitioned, no one knows why we have gotten so close. This is so strange.

if the election results are good for anything (and, with caveats, I think it will be an improvement over the last four years) it is this: The president-elect pledged to end the sexual mutilation of minors, to stop mass gender transition. He said that on national television. This is an enormous win for us. Since I detransitioned 4 years ago, all I wanted was this—to not be content with saving myself, but to go to sleep knowing hundreds of thousands of vulnerable people are not being mutilated anymore. That the gears of the abhorrent Mengele machine will screech to a halt.

But now I have a conflict of interest and I fear for my beautiful friend. I don't know if she would survive the ego death of detransition, should the government really take away her hormones. She was hurt so bad, and her false life has been built so elaborately. Her constructed self is the barrier between her and the abuse in her past.

Here are some of the problems with going off T:

off testosterone, she will feel overwhelming emotions. Testosterone has made her unable to cry. If she cries she will lose control. Her brain will be a stranger to herself.

Her body will revert to the one that men leered at and preyed upon throughout her childhood. This would disgust and terrify her.

She is engaged. What if her fiance only wants a straight-appearing marriage? what if her fiance is not attracted to her off T? Doesn't like the look of that life?

unable to remain 'stealth', she would have to tell her coworkers and friends what she hasn't told almost anyone in 10 years, since she started transitioning. this would change everyone's perception of her. She will be demoted from a normal-looking respectable man to a strange mannish woman. it will feel undignified and unfair to suddenly be the exception and not the rule of society. Even if really, that's what she's been all along.

I fear for her, even though this is everything I wanted. I want her to live a long life, not perish from the complications of testosterone 5, 10, 20 years down the line. Perhaps naively, I want to believe that anyone can overcome addiction, even her. The people who are farthest astray—the "most" trans—are the people that most acutely need to be led back to the truth, to themselves. But it's a steep path out of this hole my friend has dug. And selfishly, I will not try to help dig her out of it, because I don't want to risk our friendship.

[d3nt4l-d4m4g3]

Hey. Long time no talk. After college I went to the New Mexico wilderness to build trails, and now I'm in Upstate New York somewhere. I'm a landscaper. Outside all day. I get to become strong while keeping my mind. A new start where nobody knows all the bridges I've burned. I have a sunny apartment.

So at my new job there is this guy. On the third day of work, I noticed he doesn't talk like men do, even though he dresses like one. His shoes look a size too big. And his hands are the size of my hands: tiny. But I didn't want to assume anything because short guys exist. Stop being paranoid, d3d4!

The fourth day of work he pulls me aside away from everyone, asks my pronouns, says he's trans, been "stealth" for 10 years, and that NOBODY KNOWS. Except, now me. He read me wrong because I'm not trans, I'm just a dyke.

I assured him—her—that I'm cool and I won't tell. But now it's eating me alive. We spend 40 hours a week together. On the outside, she has a perfect life, practically has a halo around her head. She has a fiance who loves her. She works a second job taking care of old people. She is probably one of the kindest, most hardworking people I've ever met. She seems happy.

But it's all built on a lie. So much of her day is spent trying to seek intimacy while deflecting from the elephant in her mind. The lie permeates everything. When some of my coworkers talked about having kids, she casually mentioned that her fiance needs to get her IUD out before they try for a baby. ???? She doesn't... have... she can't... ?

It's gotta be so hard for her. She is kind and hardworking and a liar, in unimaginably deep. She seems happy now. But it's a house of cards. a 10 year lie, goddamn the loneliness. She's so afraid of what's real, and she's built her perfect life around a myth that can explode at any moment. all while wrecking her body. What does she know about the health issues she could face? what does her fiance know about her shortened lifespan?

Once I would have been honored to be entrusted with her secret. Now it is a burden. She doesn't know that I am a liar too. I lie to keep her friendship. I lie to keep my job, to keep my new friend, to keep the latest shoddy bridge I've built above water.

I need to pretend I don't know what I know. My coworker's body is like mine, but scarred and roughened. Her mind is like mine, but imprisoned in gender, the crime of the century. At work we joke around, slapping each other's backs too hard. I lean into my butchness, crossing my arms over my chest, rocking on my heels, challenging her. She grabs the leafblower before I can. She is affirmed by using heavy machinery.

She is Deaf and wears an implant. An on-the-nose reminder that some people can't listen.

So I will not scream.

[d3nt4l-d4m4g3]

so it's been 2 or 3 weeks working together since she told me.

Now we are good friends on the way to becoming very good friends. we have a lot in common. she makes me laugh. she is kind and hard-working. And she treats me like how I treat her, which is birds of a feather.

She was traumatized badly when she was very young. Transitioning was such an effective (not healthy, not ethical, but effective) escape from that trauma that I don't think she will ever decide to detransition. it couldn't make sense to her.

I call her him even in my journals. That's the one place I'm supposed to be honest, but even in the most intimate conversation with myself, I want to concede to her delusion, to comfort her.

how pathetic am I?

I, knowing that this woman is poisoning herself, probably already has recurrent/chronic health issues, and will absolutely rather die from those issues than stop poisoning herself. Because the poison itself is the armor around the giant wound. I, not wanting to upset her, only wanting to keep talking to her. loving her smile. loving her way of being. it feels familiar to me. like my own hands. Even through all those scars. Maybe because of all those scars.

How pathetic am I ? knowing her life is ticking away, and never saying anything to confront her, enabling her slow suicide... because I want to stay close to her?

i just want you to know I know this is insane

[i-love-discourse]

so trans activists understand that through force of habit you can essentially learn to adjust to anything including calling a woman he. but they don't want to pretend that that's not actually true like you can't change sex and by insisting that some people can change sex, legally at the very least, they're essentially jeopardizing sex based rights. and of course, even the most polite debate on the subject warrants misogyny, threats and professional and personal consequences that make talking about this not worth it. So you have workplaces and the law of punishing those sharing opinions that are not in alignment with a fucking cult which is allergic to debate so the cultists can now say 'see, almost no one is disagreeing with us, therefore we are right and we can vilify and shame those who disagree without any real consequences'.

Trans activists, especially the most privileged ones are some of the most pernicious, disreputable people on the planet. there's no shame or guilt especially amongst the males who have no fucking skin in the game but they can't let their narcissism not take the wheel. It's vile and I despise the culture that lets this shit happen. no terrible men would be able to exist without being unable to condoned. It's obscene fucking bullshit.

anyway. personally, I find it a little strange that someone would want to come find in you because you are also gnc because dissociating from your sex is somehow the same as being a dyke to them?

[d3nt4l-d4m4g3]

I don't know wtf math she's doing in her head. she says she knows she's 'male', but also admitted that she hates men. she calls herself straight and then gives the gayest fucking stories about her ex girlfriends and childhood of all time. she's in too deep to make the connection, but not self-isolating enough not to exclaim aloud her excitement in knowing someone with a similar backstory as her.

cognitive dissonance has a sound! and she cannot hear it!

[d3nt4l-d4m4g3]

Hey. Long time no talk. After college I went to the New Mexico wilderness to build trails, and now I'm in Upstate New York somewhere. I'm a landscaper. Outside all day. I get to become strong while keeping my mind. A new start where nobody knows all the bridges I've burned. I have a sunny apartment.

So at my new job there is this guy. On the third day of work, I noticed he doesn't talk like men do, even though he dresses like one. His shoes look a size too big. And his hands are the size of my hands: tiny. But I didn't want to assume anything because short guys exist. Stop being paranoid, d3d4!

The fourth day of work he pulls me aside away from everyone, asks my pronouns, says he's trans, been "stealth" for 10 years, and that NOBODY KNOWS. Except, now me. He read me wrong because I'm not trans, I'm just a dyke.

I assured him—her—that I'm cool and I won't tell. But now it's eating me alive. We spend 40 hours a week together. On the outside, she has a perfect life, practically has a halo around her head. She has a fiance who loves her. She works a second job taking care of old people. She is probably one of the kindest, most hardworking people I've ever met. She seems happy.

But it's all built on a lie. So much of her day is spent trying to seek intimacy while deflecting from the elephant in her mind. The lie permeates everything. When some of my coworkers talked about having kids, she casually mentioned that her fiance needs to get her IUD out before they try for a baby. ???? She doesn't... have... she can't... ?

It's gotta be so hard for her. She is kind and hardworking and a liar, in unimaginably deep. She seems happy now. But it's a house of cards. a 10 year lie, goddamn the loneliness. She's so afraid of what's real, and she's built her perfect life around a myth that can explode at any moment. all while wrecking her body. What does she know about the health issues she could face? what does her fiance know about her shortened lifespan?

Once I would have been honored to be entrusted with her secret. Now it is a burden. She doesn't know that I am a liar too. I lie to keep her friendship. I lie to keep my job, to keep my new friend, to keep the latest shoddy bridge I've built above water.

I need to pretend I don't know what I know. My coworker's body is like mine, but scarred and roughened. Her mind is like mine, but imprisoned in gender, the crime of the century. At work we joke around, slapping each other's backs too hard. I lean into my butchness, crossing my arms over my chest, rocking on my heels, challenging her. She grabs the leafblower before I can. She is affirmed by using heavy machinery.

She is Deaf and wears an implant. An on-the-nose reminder that some people can't listen.

So I will not scream.

[d3nt4l-d4m4g3]

so it's been 2 or 3 weeks working together since she told me.

Now we are good friends on the way to becoming very good friends. we have a lot in common. she makes me laugh. she is kind and hard-working. And she treats me like how I treat her, which is birds of a feather.

She was traumatized badly when she was very young. Transitioning was such an effective (not healthy, not ethical, but effective) escape from that trauma that I don't think she will ever decide to detransition. it couldn't make sense to her.

I call her him even in my journals. That's the one place I'm supposed to be honest, but even in the most intimate conversation with myself, I want to concede to her delusion, to comfort her.

how pathetic am I?

I, knowing that this woman is poisoning herself, probably already has recurrent/chronic health issues, and will absolutely rather die from those issues than stop poisoning herself. Because the poison itself is the armor around the giant wound. I, not wanting to upset her, only wanting to keep talking to her. loving her smile. loving her way of being. it feels familiar to me. like my own hands. Even through all those scars. Maybe because of all those scars.

How pathetic am I ? knowing her life is ticking away, and never saying anything to confront her, enabling her slow suicide... because I want to stay close to her?

i just want you to know I know this is insane

[d3nt4l-d4m4g3]

Hey. Long time no talk. After college I went to the New Mexico wilderness to build trails, and now I'm in Upstate New York somewhere. I'm a landscaper. Outside all day. I get to become strong while keeping my mind. A new start where nobody knows all the bridges I've burned. I have a sunny apartment.

So at my new job there is this guy. On the third day of work, I noticed he doesn't talk like men do, even though he dresses like one. His shoes look a size too big. And his hands are the size of my hands: tiny. But I didn't want to assume anything because short guys exist. Stop being paranoid, d3d4!

The fourth day of work he pulls me aside away from everyone, asks my pronouns, says he's trans, been "stealth" for 10 years, and that NOBODY KNOWS. Except, now me. He read me wrong because I'm not trans, I'm just a dyke.

I assured him—her—that I'm cool and I won't tell. But now it's eating me alive. We spend 40 hours a week together. On the outside, she has a perfect life, practically has a halo around her head. She has a fiance who loves her. She works a second job taking care of old people. She is probably one of the kindest, most hardworking people I've ever met. She seems happy.

But it's all built on a lie. So much of her day is spent trying to seek intimacy while deflecting from the elephant in her mind. The lie permeates everything. When some of my coworkers talked about having kids, she casually mentioned that her fiance needs to get her IUD out before they try for a baby. ???? She doesn't... have... she can't... ?

It's gotta be so hard for her. She is kind and hardworking and a liar, in unimaginably deep. She seems happy now. But it's a house of cards. a 10 year lie, goddamn the loneliness. She's so afraid of what's real, and she's built her perfect life around a myth that can explode at any moment. all while wrecking her body. What does she know about the health issues she could face? what does her fiance know about her shortened lifespan?

Once I would have been honored to be entrusted with her secret. Now it is a burden. She doesn't know that I am a liar too. I lie to keep her friendship. I lie to keep my job, to keep my new friend, to keep the latest shoddy bridge I've built above water.

I need to pretend I don't know what I know. My coworker's body is like mine, but scarred and roughened. Her mind is like mine, but imprisoned in gender, the crime of the century. At work we joke around, slapping each other's backs too hard. I lean into my butchness, crossing my arms over my chest, rocking on my heels, challenging her. She grabs the leafblower before I can. She is affirmed by using heavy machinery.

She is Deaf and wears an implant. An on-the-nose reminder that some people can't listen.

So I will not scream.

[d3nt4l-d4m4g3]

to the first commenter: she confirmed yesterday that fiance does not have an IUD and is hoping the government will provide sperm for free. It was all an unnecessary lie. she never had to spin a lie like that. could've just kept quiet.

to the second commenter: thanks for having some kind of critical thinking skills. this is my position as well.

I feel her pain. I know we are the same, our paths just diverged somewhere down the line. And she knows it too. The worst part is how much I like her, how much I want to reach out to her and comfort her. And I am prevented from truly helping her, because her suffering is her choice.

[d3nt4l-d4m4g3]

Hey. Long time no talk. After college I went to the New Mexico wilderness to build trails, and now I'm in Upstate New York somewhere. I'm a landscaper. Outside all day. I get to become strong while keeping my mind. A new start where nobody knows all the bridges I've burned. I have a sunny apartment.

So at my new job there is this guy. On the third day of work, I noticed he doesn't talk like men do, even though he dresses like one. His shoes look a size too big. And his hands are the size of my hands: tiny. But I didn't want to assume anything because short guys exist. Stop being paranoid, d3d4!

The fourth day of work he pulls me aside away from everyone, asks my pronouns, says he's trans, been "stealth" for 10 years, and that NOBODY KNOWS. Except, now me. He read me wrong because I'm not trans, I'm just a dyke.

I assured him—her—that I'm cool and I won't tell. But now it's eating me alive. We spend 40 hours a week together. On the outside, she has a perfect life, practically has a halo around her head. She has a fiance who loves her. She works a second job taking care of old people. She is probably one of the kindest, most hardworking people I've ever met. She seems happy.

But it's all built on a lie. So much of her day is spent trying to seek intimacy while deflecting from the elephant in her mind. The lie permeates everything. When some of my coworkers talked about having kids, she casually mentioned that her fiance needs to get her IUD out before they try for a baby. ???? She doesn't... have... she can't... ?

It's gotta be so hard for her. She is kind and hardworking and a liar, in unimaginably deep. She seems happy now. But it's a house of cards. a 10 year lie, goddamn the loneliness. She's so afraid of what's real, and she's built her perfect life around a myth that can explode at any moment. all while wrecking her body. What does she know about the health issues she could face? what does her fiance know about her shortened lifespan?

Once I would have been honored to be entrusted with her secret. Now it is a burden. She doesn't know that I am a liar too. I lie to keep her friendship. I lie to keep my job, to keep my new friend, to keep the latest shoddy bridge I've built above water.

I need to pretend I don't know what I know. My coworker's body is like mine, but scarred and roughened. Her mind is like mine, but imprisoned in gender, the crime of the century. At work we joke around, slapping each other's backs too hard. I lean into my butchness, crossing my arms over my chest, rocking on my heels, challenging her. She grabs the leafblower before I can. She is affirmed by using heavy machinery.

She is Deaf and wears an implant. An on-the-nose reminder that some people can't listen.

So I will not scream.

[d3nt4l-d4m4g3]

The issue is not with people who believe themselves to be transgender. Who are given the choices that they believe will free them from various constant, chronic miseries. 

The issue is that some choices should not exist. This has been demonstrated again and again in our history. Once the decision to lobotomize one’s free-spirited daughter was a sensible and accessible one; once it was sensible to dose a colicky baby with whiskey; once it was common to take heroin for a cough, laudanum for a high-strung temperament, cocaine for depression. 

At least two patients not long ago, afflicted only by the mighty conviction they should have been born without a limb, were graciously permitted to have these heathy appendages surgically removed. 

And let me remind you that these patients were grateful, and may go to their graves grateful for the disabilities they asked for and received. 

Such choices summon an ill-humored genie, grab greedy fingers round the monkey’s paw. Such choices disguise the cost of a reckless wish, often forever to the wisher in their lifetime. Such choices come with a binding understanding on the condition that one be willfully opaque to, a fact which if one were to choose to accept and humble oneself before it, would bring the most awful of consequences.

To admit you were wrong would ruin you.

The people who believe they are transgender have every stake in this fight. If they accept that their choices were wrong, immoral, unjust, psychologically and mentally damaging, at cost of truth, genuity, sense, self, health, and life, their proceeding state would naturally be one of great shame and despair. At the harm they have caused and the lies they have told to themselves and others. Of the crushing farce of their lives, now shortened by unnecessary, gruesome, barbaric surgical and chemical altercations. Of the enormous sum of their own poisonous self-hatred, and the hatred of whatever differences they may possess by the world.

Those who perform these altercations: the genies, the sharp-toothed yellow-nailed monkeys, who offer the choices grandly and gluttonously, sleep well at night with bodies strong enough and hands deft enough to ruin all the bodies they touch. The victims smile, believing themselves saved. The monkeys smile, large sums on paper glowing in their rancid heads.  Many of these doctors, surgeons, so-called scientists believe themselves to be doing good in the world (Though some certainly only have a taste for power, money, and mutilation. The do-gooder has a secondhand sour unspoken knowledge, which is that if he is wrong he is a modern Mengele. What else do you call someone who meddles with the bodies of children, with the mentally compromised, with the most utterly desperate, who says goodnight to a whole person and good morning to a mutilated one with a smile? With a smile, with a smile.

Victims are annoying. They are. You don't want to look at them. They are self-involved, destructive, unreasonable as a long-caged animal. They are unnattractively pitiable because they cling to their sickness with the grip of someone hanging off a cliff. They are fickle, flaky, flagrantly inconsiderate of the families, friends and lovers they have alienated with the choices they have made. It is all too tempting to kick such a pathetic creature while it’s down, mocking it shivering in a cage of its own creation.

  But their choices should not have existed, their self-imposed cage should never have been imposed concretely by simpering false sympathizers. It is cruel and unproductive to blame a person who has been alienated, marked and mutilated by the esteemed healers of this savage society. A victim, victimized, naturally appears gnarled and unattractive, unpersonable because she has not been treated like a person; the perpetrator, clean-handed, immaculately white-coated, appears godlike. But don’t let that distract you from the true enemy. The enemy is not the choice maker, but the choice giver. 

[falandosozin]

At least two patients not long ago, afflicted only by the mighty conviction they should have been born without a limb, were graciously permitted to have these heathy appendages surgically removed. 

this is very interesting. i dont know if they're one of the cases and i have no way of knowing since i don't have the patient's name for confidentiality reasons, but my neuropsychology teacher once told me about this patient with a serious mental condition that caused him to wholeheartedly believe his left arm wasn't his. it didn't belong there. it felt like someone else's arm. therapy did not help, in fact, seemed to make it worse, and it got to the point where the patience was feeling extreme phantom pains from the arm that supposedly wasn't there. im pretty sure he was put on medication too, because then one day he got drunk at home (most antipsychotics when mixed with alcohol cause blackouts) and attempted to remove his own arm through whatever means he could find at home. at the end he had to go to the hospital but the arm was so destroyed that the doctors had to amputate it for his own safety, and his quality of life seemingly improved significantly after that. he still attended psychotherapy and stayed in a mental hospital for some time, but as far as my teacher knows, he was much better.

now, im not saying that situation is the same as a trans person getting gender affirming surgery. i honestly dont think so at all. i think they're two different things caused by two very different conditions. but since you're the one drawing this analogy, im curious: what would you have done to the patient? therapy didn't work. maybe some other medication? keep the man permanently sedated until they figure something out? tie him up?

also, just out of curiosity, "(if) the people who believe they are transgender (...) accept that their choices were wrong, immoral, unjust, etc" how?

specifically immoral. how is medically transitioning immoral. im genuinely curious. try to explain it to me without mentioning religion, please. im waiting.

[d3nt4l-d4m4g3]

Have you heard of the Hippocratic oath? It is immoral because physical harm is being done on healthy people. Healthy people are being sterilized and having their lives cut dramatically shorter, despite that there is little imperial evidence that any of these measures actually save lives. To me, trans IS the religion. A cult of blood sacrifice. To believe in true science and medicine is to heal patients, not create patients.

As for the patient, I would have done anything to prevent surgeons from disabling him at his own request. At what point can you conclude that therapy doesn’t work? A year? Two? And what methods were used? Mental healing doesn’t have a timeline or a perfect recipe, and to give up on it in favor of the physical mutilation the patient asked for is cruelty. Mutilation is appealing because it is a simple solution to a complicated problem—a lifetime of trauma and confusion.

Harm is not subjective, despite the protestations of those who wish to be harmed.

Do No Harm. It’s as simple as that.

[aikuma-deactivated20250523]

Lol. You complain of cults yet here you are, acting just like one.

"No freedom of choice! No education! Only fear mongering! Because it upsets me!"

No different than abortion banning because "think of the unborn kids!". No different than a controlling mother yelling at her child for getting a tramp stamp.

"You cannot do what you want with your own body, because I think it's wrong! Me! The authority on everything!"

Listen. Nobody should care what other people are doing. I'd rather live a short happy life than a long miserable one.

"What if they regret it?" What if they don't?

"What if it goes wrong?" What if it goes right?

Arguing "what if"s to justify stripping a person's freedom of choice is so old.

In the given example, you know what would have happened if the doctor's didn't amputate him? He would have done it himself. Very painfully, very dangerously.

You don't actually care about people's safety. You just want to not have to see it. Like abortions, it will still all happen...just with more pain and death.

And with how miserable he sounds, it seems like he would have killed himself anyways. A short and miserable life, because that arm was so important to you, an outsider, a stranger?

Freedom of choice soley relies on the individual. I want the freedom to make mistakes than to live in a box.

Do you actually care about these people? Do you? Then do this: advocate for better information. Advocate for awareness of alternatives and risks. You know what fearmongering and restricting choice is? A cult.

Besides, isn't it psych 101 to know that if you force people not to do something, it just makes them want to do it more?

Posts like these make me glad dictatorship is generally frowned upon.

And I concede my tone is rather rude. But it is not a personal attack. I am sure you are a lovely person. This, however, is not a lovely post.

[d3nt4l-d4m4g3]

People invented the atom bomb and People chose to release them on Japan. People invented lobotomies and people chose to lobotomize young women. People invented methamphetamines, and people chose to smoke it.

Just because a choice is legal and available doesn't mean it's an ethical choice. Stopping people from making a demonstrably harmful choice is not cult-like. An identity being predicated on expensive, life-shortening interventions, of burning all evidence of one's past, of forcing people to address you with patented falsehoods, and often cutting all ties with family—that's cultlike.

Who is fearmongering? Me, raising awareness about the proven medical harms of transitioning and criticizing a medical system that enables that? Or you, implying that people will begin cutting off their body parts in the thousands and/or killing themselves without access to these medical interventions when statistics clearly show otherwise—I don't know, it's a toughie...

People have the choice to do what they want with their bodies—i.e. people can "take matters into their own hands" regarding amputation, etc. But that hypothetical is extremely gruesome, and a deterrent for most. Those for which the threat of extreme blood loss, shock, unimaginable pain, and possible death is not a deterrent from attempting self-amputation obviously should be under psychiatric care, not placated and rewarded for their fantasies of self-mutilation.

Doctors and surgeons should not have the choice to make the modifications trans people want freely available. The loss of the choice is a deterrent for most. I am optimistic that all people can psychologically integrate with their bodies before jumping to self-injury. That choice should be more available than the destructive one but it isn't. The destructive choice is painful, but in a way it's easy. Like the atom bomb or a lobotomy or meth, there is an enormous effect immediately. Psychic healing is a long, hard, slow process that forces introspection. It brings shame and anger and loss to the surface. Forgiving yourself for a lifetime of hurt doesn't happen overnight.

When I was trans, I thought of my body like a voodoo doll for my soul. If I could cut my breasts off, all the bad feelings attached to them would be gone. But I realize now that the self-hatred was so deep inside me that no physical effort could excise it. Self-hatred does not shed with blood. It must be reckoned with internally.

[aikuma-deactivated20250523]

Just because you had a bad experience with something doesn't mean you get to take away other's freedom. Again, that is the same rhetoric used to justify taking away many rights.

As for it being ethical, does that matter? Ethics are a made-up concept. They vary from person. It is as stable as saying "this hurts my feelings". You also seem to be hung up on transgenderism. I am speaking broadly about all autonomy. The right to do whatever with your own life and body. The first two examples you listed are of people choosing to do things to other people, not themselves.

"Me, raising awareness about the proven medical harms of transitioning and criticizing a medical system that enables that?" - You see, if that was what this post was, I would agree with you. The overall discussion on transgenderism is very bland. People are hyper-sensitive and don't want to hear about bad side effects. We need more education. We need to stop being so scared of things going wrong that we ignore the written words. After all, ignoring them won't make them go away.

But that is not this post. You may have said some things here and there that were hard to parse through the flowery language, but you kept repeating that the choice shouldn't exist. That isn't education. Education is informing of all the possible ways it could go right and wrong both, and letting the individual make that choice for themselves. Withhold no information and no sugar-coating. But the choice cannot be made for anyone on their behalf.

I do not care what you think. I say that positvely. You are your own person, and thus you have the freedom to think and feel and say these things. Why is it that other people should not have the same freedoms as you?

I only care about getting this point across, so I will reiterate: what someone does to themsevles is not of your concern. To try and ban that freedom of choice never ends well, history has shown that time and time again. That is all.

You can think somebody is weak, or dumb, or brainwashed to make a choice. Scream it from the high heavens. But in the end, it was their choice and not yours.

Am I correct to believe you seem to take this subject so personally because you almost made a choice you would have regretted? If so, that sucks, but it is not a valid reason to restrict others. Taking out your anger and hurt on the world is something we all go through. I am guilty of it too. I still am. You should at least recognize it, though.

Though, to be blunt to myself, as long as you are not physically stopping other people through means of the law or otherwise, it's not like this post matters. It is just your opinion, after all. And you may keep that opinion, however flawed it is. We will likely never cross paths in real life anyways. The internet is interesting in that way.

[d3nt4l-d4m4g3]

Oh my fucking GOD. the amount of FUCKING TIMES you fucking people say "well that's your experience but let other people live!!" NO. the fucking apathy you people display towards the suffering of your own people. Read the FUCKING SIGN:

SOME CHOICES SHOULD NOT BE AVAILABLE. SOME CHOICES ARE CRIMES TO OFFER.

LETTING MENTALLY ILL PEOPLE HURT THEMSELVES IS NOT KIND. LETTING DOCTORS HURT MENTALLY ILL PEOPLE IS NOT KIND.

LETTING DOCTORS HURT SOME PEOPLE AND NOT OTHERS IS STILL A FUCKING CRIME.

BELIEVING THAT NO PERSON UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES SHOULD BE SURGICALLY/CHEMICALLY TO TREAT A MENTAL CONDITION IS NOT EXTREME.

I am a trans person. I'm at a different stage of transition than you, which is detransition. Every trans person is a potential detransitioner, whether or not they reach that stage. You are not invalidating a cis person. You are invalidating a trans person. My experience is the potential experience of every trans person. You selfish child, you fucking coward to quarantine my experience into an exception. You think this doesn't affect you? You thick, self-satisfied prick. I hope you grow a fucking brain before your sex organs rot out of your body, which, according to this study, is a 95% likelihood. That's not me threatening you. That's just reality.

Is this language basic enough for you, honey?

[d3nt4l-d4m4g3]

just realized you said THIS:

As for it being ethical, does that matter? Ethics are a made-up concept. They vary from person. It is as stable as saying "this hurts my feelings".

Are you sure you're willing to die on that hill? That morality is entirely subjective? Do you understand the broad implications of that statement? Is that idea not a direct threat to law and society?

I am not talking about what people want. I am not talking about people's feelings. I don't give a flying fuck about your feelings. I am talking about physical harm. I don't give a fuck about your religion, what you believe. Believe you're the opposite sex, believe you're nonbinary, act in whatever way that means to you.

But it appears you're saying that even when death and physical suffering are the direct outcomes of certain laws and practices, there is no moral ground to object because morality is subjective. Are murder and rape not crimes because the perpetrators of those crimes don't believe it to be amoral?

In postmodernism/gender ideology, truth is subjective, but this is incredibly dangerous because real truth is not subjective. if it were subjective, then lies would also have to be subjective, which means there is no distinction between lies and truth, which erases the meaning of both terms, rendering them useless.

I hope you'll agree that a society with no commonly agreed-upon morals is not a foundation upon which a society can function or progress scientifically and ethically.

[d3nt4l-d4m4g3]

The issue is not with people who believe themselves to be transgender. Who are given the choices that they believe will free them from various constant, chronic miseries. 

The issue is that some choices should not exist. This has been demonstrated again and again in our history. Once the decision to lobotomize one’s free-spirited daughter was a sensible and accessible one; once it was sensible to dose a colicky baby with whiskey; once it was common to take heroin for a cough, laudanum for a high-strung temperament, cocaine for depression. 

At least two patients not long ago, afflicted only by the mighty conviction they should have been born without a limb, were graciously permitted to have these heathy appendages surgically removed. 

And let me remind you that these patients were grateful, and may go to their graves grateful for the disabilities they asked for and received. 

Such choices summon an ill-humored genie, grab greedy fingers round the monkey’s paw. Such choices disguise the cost of a reckless wish, often forever to the wisher in their lifetime. Such choices come with a binding understanding on the condition that one be willfully opaque to, a fact which if one were to choose to accept and humble oneself before it, would bring the most awful of consequences.

To admit you were wrong would ruin you.

The people who believe they are transgender have every stake in this fight. If they accept that their choices were wrong, immoral, unjust, psychologically and mentally damaging, at cost of truth, genuity, sense, self, health, and life, their proceeding state would naturally be one of great shame and despair. At the harm they have caused and the lies they have told to themselves and others. Of the crushing farce of their lives, now shortened by unnecessary, gruesome, barbaric surgical and chemical altercations. Of the enormous sum of their own poisonous self-hatred, and the hatred of whatever differences they may possess by the world.

Those who perform these altercations: the genies, the sharp-toothed yellow-nailed monkeys, who offer the choices grandly and gluttonously, sleep well at night with bodies strong enough and hands deft enough to ruin all the bodies they touch. The victims smile, believing themselves saved. The monkeys smile, large sums on paper glowing in their rancid heads.  Many of these doctors, surgeons, so-called scientists believe themselves to be doing good in the world (Though some certainly only have a taste for power, money, and mutilation. The do-gooder has a secondhand sour unspoken knowledge, which is that if he is wrong he is a modern Mengele. What else do you call someone who meddles with the bodies of children, with the mentally compromised, with the most utterly desperate, who says goodnight to a whole person and good morning to a mutilated one with a smile? With a smile, with a smile.

Victims are annoying. They are. You don't want to look at them. They are self-involved, destructive, unreasonable as a long-caged animal. They are unnattractively pitiable because they cling to their sickness with the grip of someone hanging off a cliff. They are fickle, flaky, flagrantly inconsiderate of the families, friends and lovers they have alienated with the choices they have made. It is all too tempting to kick such a pathetic creature while it’s down, mocking it shivering in a cage of its own creation.

  But their choices should not have existed, their self-imposed cage should never have been imposed concretely by simpering false sympathizers. It is cruel and unproductive to blame a person who has been alienated, marked and mutilated by the esteemed healers of this savage society. A victim, victimized, naturally appears gnarled and unattractive, unpersonable because she has not been treated like a person; the perpetrator, clean-handed, immaculately white-coated, appears godlike. But don’t let that distract you from the true enemy. The enemy is not the choice maker, but the choice giver. 

[falandosozin]

At least two patients not long ago, afflicted only by the mighty conviction they should have been born without a limb, were graciously permitted to have these heathy appendages surgically removed. 

this is very interesting. i dont know if they're one of the cases and i have no way of knowing since i don't have the patient's name for confidentiality reasons, but my neuropsychology teacher once told me about this patient with a serious mental condition that caused him to wholeheartedly believe his left arm wasn't his. it didn't belong there. it felt like someone else's arm. therapy did not help, in fact, seemed to make it worse, and it got to the point where the patience was feeling extreme phantom pains from the arm that supposedly wasn't there. im pretty sure he was put on medication too, because then one day he got drunk at home (most antipsychotics when mixed with alcohol cause blackouts) and attempted to remove his own arm through whatever means he could find at home. at the end he had to go to the hospital but the arm was so destroyed that the doctors had to amputate it for his own safety, and his quality of life seemingly improved significantly after that. he still attended psychotherapy and stayed in a mental hospital for some time, but as far as my teacher knows, he was much better.

now, im not saying that situation is the same as a trans person getting gender affirming surgery. i honestly dont think so at all. i think they're two different things caused by two very different conditions. but since you're the one drawing this analogy, im curious: what would you have done to the patient? therapy didn't work. maybe some other medication? keep the man permanently sedated until they figure something out? tie him up?

also, just out of curiosity, "(if) the people who believe they are transgender (...) accept that their choices were wrong, immoral, unjust, etc" how?

specifically immoral. how is medically transitioning immoral. im genuinely curious. try to explain it to me without mentioning religion, please. im waiting.

[d3nt4l-d4m4g3]

Have you heard of the Hippocratic oath? It is immoral because physical harm is being done on healthy people. Healthy people are being sterilized and having their lives cut dramatically shorter, despite that there is little imperial evidence that any of these measures actually save lives. To me, trans IS the religion. A cult of blood sacrifice. To believe in true science and medicine is to heal patients, not create patients.

As for the patient, I would have done anything to prevent surgeons from disabling him at his own request. At what point can you conclude that therapy doesn’t work? A year? Two? And what methods were used? Mental healing doesn’t have a timeline or a perfect recipe, and to give up on it in favor of the physical mutilation the patient asked for is cruelty. Mutilation is appealing because it is a simple solution to a complicated problem—a lifetime of trauma and confusion.

Harm is not subjective, despite the protestations of those who wish to be harmed.

Do No Harm. It’s as simple as that.

[aikuma-deactivated20250523]

Lol. You complain of cults yet here you are, acting just like one.

"No freedom of choice! No education! Only fear mongering! Because it upsets me!"

No different than abortion banning because "think of the unborn kids!". No different than a controlling mother yelling at her child for getting a tramp stamp.

"You cannot do what you want with your own body, because I think it's wrong! Me! The authority on everything!"

Listen. Nobody should care what other people are doing. I'd rather live a short happy life than a long miserable one.

"What if they regret it?" What if they don't?

"What if it goes wrong?" What if it goes right?

Arguing "what if"s to justify stripping a person's freedom of choice is so old.

In the given example, you know what would have happened if the doctor's didn't amputate him? He would have done it himself. Very painfully, very dangerously.

You don't actually care about people's safety. You just want to not have to see it. Like abortions, it will still all happen...just with more pain and death.

And with how miserable he sounds, it seems like he would have killed himself anyways. A short and miserable life, because that arm was so important to you, an outsider, a stranger?

Freedom of choice soley relies on the individual. I want the freedom to make mistakes than to live in a box.

Do you actually care about these people? Do you? Then do this: advocate for better information. Advocate for awareness of alternatives and risks. You know what fearmongering and restricting choice is? A cult.

Besides, isn't it psych 101 to know that if you force people not to do something, it just makes them want to do it more?

Posts like these make me glad dictatorship is generally frowned upon.

And I concede my tone is rather rude. But it is not a personal attack. I am sure you are a lovely person. This, however, is not a lovely post.

[d3nt4l-d4m4g3]

People invented the atom bomb and People chose to release them on Japan. People invented lobotomies and people chose to lobotomize young women. People invented methamphetamines, and people chose to smoke it.

Just because a choice is legal and available doesn't mean it's an ethical choice. Stopping people from making a demonstrably harmful choice is not cult-like. An identity being predicated on expensive, life-shortening interventions, of burning all evidence of one's past, of forcing people to address you with patented falsehoods, and often cutting all ties with family—that's cultlike.

Who is fearmongering? Me, raising awareness about the proven medical harms of transitioning and criticizing a medical system that enables that? Or you, implying that people will begin cutting off their body parts in the thousands and/or killing themselves without access to these medical interventions when statistics clearly show otherwise—I don't know, it's a toughie...

People have the choice to do what they want with their bodies—i.e. people can "take matters into their own hands" regarding amputation, etc. But that hypothetical is extremely gruesome, and a deterrent for most. Those for which the threat of extreme blood loss, shock, unimaginable pain, and possible death is not a deterrent from attempting self-amputation obviously should be under psychiatric care, not placated and rewarded for their fantasies of self-mutilation.

Doctors and surgeons should not have the choice to make the modifications trans people want freely available. The loss of the choice is a deterrent for most. I am optimistic that all people can psychologically integrate with their bodies before jumping to self-injury. That choice should be more available than the destructive one but it isn't. The destructive choice is painful, but in a way it's easy. Like the atom bomb or a lobotomy or meth, there is an enormous effect immediately. Psychic healing is a long, hard, slow process that forces introspection. It brings shame and anger and loss to the surface. Forgiving yourself for a lifetime of hurt doesn't happen overnight.

When I was trans, I thought of my body like a voodoo doll for my soul. If I could cut my breasts off, all the bad feelings attached to them would be gone. But I realize now that the self-hatred was so deep inside me that no physical effort could excise it. Self-hatred does not shed with blood. It must be reckoned with internally.

[aikuma-deactivated20250523]

Just because you had a bad experience with something doesn't mean you get to take away other's freedom. Again, that is the same rhetoric used to justify taking away many rights.

As for it being ethical, does that matter? Ethics are a made-up concept. They vary from person. It is as stable as saying "this hurts my feelings". You also seem to be hung up on transgenderism. I am speaking broadly about all autonomy. The right to do whatever with your own life and body. The first two examples you listed are of people choosing to do things to other people, not themselves.

"Me, raising awareness about the proven medical harms of transitioning and criticizing a medical system that enables that?" - You see, if that was what this post was, I would agree with you. The overall discussion on transgenderism is very bland. People are hyper-sensitive and don't want to hear about bad side effects. We need more education. We need to stop being so scared of things going wrong that we ignore the written words. After all, ignoring them won't make them go away.

But that is not this post. You may have said some things here and there that were hard to parse through the flowery language, but you kept repeating that the choice shouldn't exist. That isn't education. Education is informing of all the possible ways it could go right and wrong both, and letting the individual make that choice for themselves. Withhold no information and no sugar-coating. But the choice cannot be made for anyone on their behalf.

I do not care what you think. I say that positvely. You are your own person, and thus you have the freedom to think and feel and say these things. Why is it that other people should not have the same freedoms as you?

I only care about getting this point across, so I will reiterate: what someone does to themsevles is not of your concern. To try and ban that freedom of choice never ends well, history has shown that time and time again. That is all.

You can think somebody is weak, or dumb, or brainwashed to make a choice. Scream it from the high heavens. But in the end, it was their choice and not yours.

Am I correct to believe you seem to take this subject so personally because you almost made a choice you would have regretted? If so, that sucks, but it is not a valid reason to restrict others. Taking out your anger and hurt on the world is something we all go through. I am guilty of it too. I still am. You should at least recognize it, though.

Though, to be blunt to myself, as long as you are not physically stopping other people through means of the law or otherwise, it's not like this post matters. It is just your opinion, after all. And you may keep that opinion, however flawed it is. We will likely never cross paths in real life anyways. The internet is interesting in that way.

[d3nt4l-d4m4g3]

Oh my fucking GOD. the amount of FUCKING TIMES you fucking people say "well that's your experience but let other people live!!" NO. the fucking apathy you people display towards the suffering of your own people. Read the FUCKING SIGN:

SOME CHOICES SHOULD NOT BE AVAILABLE. SOME CHOICES ARE CRIMES TO OFFER.

LETTING MENTALLY ILL PEOPLE HURT THEMSELVES IS NOT KIND. LETTING DOCTORS HURT MENTALLY ILL PEOPLE IS NOT KIND.

LETTING DOCTORS HURT SOME PEOPLE AND NOT OTHERS IS STILL A FUCKING CRIME.

BELIEVING THAT NO PERSON UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES SHOULD BE SURGICALLY FUCKED WITH TO TREAT A MENTAL CONDITION IS NOT EXTREME.

I am a trans person. I'm at a different stage of transition than you, which is detransition. Every trans person is a potential detransitioner, whether or not they reach that stage. You are not invalidating a cis person. You are invalidating a trans person. My experience is the potential experience of every trans person. You selfish child, you fucking coward to quarantine my experience into an exception. You think this doesn't affect you? You thick, self-satisfied prick. I hope you grow a fucking brain before your sex organs rot out of your body, which, according to this study, is a 95% likelihood. That's not me threatening you. That's just reality.

Is this language basic enough for you, honey?

[d3nt4l-d4m4g3]

Pelvic Floor Dysfunction in Transgender Men on Gender-affirming Hormone Therapy: A Descriptive Cross-sectional Study - International Urogyne

Introduction and Hypothesis The objective of this research is to explore the effects of hormone therapy using testosterone on pelvic floor d

A breakdown of the abstract (full study unfortunately behind paywall):

The survey sample was 68 trans men.

69.1% of the sample had storage symptoms: "Storage symptoms are those affecting the ability to effectively store urine, and can include urgency, frequency, incomplete bladder emptying, and nocturia [bed wetting]."

52.9% had sexual dysfunction, and close to half experienced pain when they orgasmed.

45.6% had anorectal symptoms: This is a broad term describing any condition involving the rectum and anus, but in this context probably means both fecal incontinence and constipation.

39.7%. had flatal incontinence: the inability to hold in farts.

Out of 68 trans men, 94.1% had pelvic floor dysfunction and 86.7% had "urinary symptoms".

So out of 68 trans men, about 4 suffered no pelvic symptoms.

Out of 68 trans men, 9 had no urinary symptoms (so far).

Back to the user who asked me yesteday what percentage of trans men live in chronic pain—this study says basically 100%. And yet no one hears about it!! The nature of these symptoms is inherently shameful, and you can understand why most trans men will not admit they are suffering. They might not even know just how common among their peers such suffering is.

Imagine being incontinent at 19, 20, 30, when you are psychologically estranged your genitals. Imagine feeling pain in your uterus every time you orgasm when you'd like to imagine you have no uterus at all. The deeper you go into medical transition, the more your body screams, and the more you are compelled to ignore it, or to deal with it utterly alone.

[d3nt4l-d4m4g3]

Full archived article from The Telegraph:

Transgender men getting 'postmenopausal' problems aged 28, study reve…

Transgender men are suffering from “postmenopausal” problems like incontinence in their 20s because of taking testosterone, a study has revealed.

Experts analysed 68 transgender men who were taking the cross-sex hormone to change their identity from female to male and found that 95 per cent had developed pelvic floor dysfunction.

The participants, who were as young as 18 and had an average age of 28, had bladder and bowel symptoms that medics would expect to see in a woman after the menopause.

Experts said the impact of the sex-changing drugs on bodily functions are under-researched and under-reported, with people “not being informed of the risks at gender clinics”.

Around 87 per cent of the participants had urinary symptoms such as incontinence, frequent toilet visits and bed-wetting, while 74 per cent had bowel issues including constipation or being unable to hold stools or wind in. Some 53 per cent suffered from sexual dysfunction.

The researchers said the rate of urinary incontinence, where urine unintentionally leaks, was around three times higher in transgender men than women, affecting around one in four compared to eight per cent of the general female population.

Other trans men suffered from frequent urinating including during the night, burning sensations, hesitancy, urgency and difficulty in going, while others had issues defecating.

Experts warned that the drugs were putting young people on “exactly the same trajectory” as those going through the menopause. A third of the participants in the study were students.

Elaine Miller, a pelvic health physiotherapist and member of the Chartered Society of Physiotherapy, said: “A lot of women are absolutely fine until the menopause and then they start to get leaky. That appears to be exactly the same trajectory for female people who take cross-sex hormones, but there hasn’t been much in the way of research.”

She said she had worked with around 20 detransitioners who sought help for pelvic floor issues - and many more from around the world had been in touch - but that there was a “stigma” around incontinence and that people were “embarrassed” and minimised the issue.

“Wetting yourself is something that just is not socially acceptable, and it stops people from exercising, it stops them from having intimate relationships, it stops them from travelling, it has work impacts,” she said.

“The impact a bit of leaking has on these young people’s lives is huge. It really needs to be properly discussed within gender clinics because I would expect that almost 100 per cent of female people that take cross-sex hormones will end up with these problems,” she added, noting that the study was “robust” and probably underplayed the issue.

“It’s really sad when we hear people say, ‘nobody ever told me this’, and they should have been informed of the risks in gender clinics.”

The menopause causes a loss of muscle mass and body strength, which affects the pelvic floor and can cause incontinence.

Women who start the menopause early or prematurely, under the age of 45, should be offered Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT) on the NHS because the oestrogen can help prevent the onset of conditions such as coronary heart disease, osteoporosis and dementia.

Taking testosterone may accelerate the menopausal process because it stops the ovaries from functioning and reduces the amount of oestrogen the body produces.

Testosterone is also known to affect muscle mass and hair loss, and has been linked to blood clots and gallstones, but there has been little research into pelvic floor issues and incontinence.

Ms Miller said the treatment for trans men was “the same as with any other postmenopausal female, which seems kind of ludicrous when you’re talking about people that are in their early 20s”.

“It’s making sure they are not constipated, getting them into a routine where they are not dehydrating themselves because they’re worried about having an accident. A lot of it is about bladder and bowel education about what is normal, and doing pelvic floor exercises, which can make a big difference,” she added.

Kate Barker, chief executive at the LGB Alliance, said the group had “consistently spoken out about the damage done by these experimental surgeries, the overwhelming majority of which are carried out on LGB [lesbian, gay and bisexual] people”.

[d3nt4l-d4m4g3]

Pelvic Floor Dysfunction in Transgender Men on Gender-affirming Hormone Therapy: A Descriptive Cross-sectional Study - International Urogyne

Introduction and Hypothesis The objective of this research is to explore the effects of hormone therapy using testosterone on pelvic floor d

A breakdown of the abstract (full study unfortunately behind paywall):

The survey sample was 68 trans men.

69.1% of the sample had storage symptoms: "Storage symptoms are those affecting the ability to effectively store urine, and can include urgency, frequency, incomplete bladder emptying, and nocturia [bed wetting]."

52.9% had sexual dysfunction, and close to half experienced pain when they orgasmed.

45.6% had anorectal symptoms: This is a broad term describing any condition involving the rectum and anus, but in this context probably means both fecal incontinence and constipation.

39.7%. had flatal incontinence: the inability to hold in farts.

Out of 68 trans men, 94.1% had pelvic floor dysfunction and 86.7% had "urinary symptoms".

So out of 68 trans men, about 4 suffered no pelvic symptoms.

Out of 68 trans men, 9 had no urinary symptoms (so far).

Back to the user who asked me yesteday what percentage of trans men live in chronic pain—this study says basically 100%. And yet no one hears about it!! The nature of these symptoms is inherently shameful, and you can understand why most trans men will not admit they are suffering. They might not even know just how common among their peers such suffering is.

Imagine being incontinent at 19, 20, 30, when you are psychologically estranged your genitals. Imagine feeling pain in your uterus every time you orgasm when you'd like to imagine you have no uterus at all. The deeper you go into medical transition, the more your body screams, and the more you are compelled to ignore it, or to deal with it utterly alone.

[d3nt4l-d4m4g3]

The issue is not with people who believe themselves to be transgender. Who are given the choices that they believe will free them from various constant, chronic miseries. 

The issue is that some choices should not exist. This has been demonstrated again and again in our history. Once the decision to lobotomize one’s free-spirited daughter was a sensible and accessible one; once it was sensible to dose a colicky baby with whiskey; once it was common to take heroin for a cough, laudanum for a high-strung temperament, cocaine for depression. 

At least two patients not long ago, afflicted only by the mighty conviction they should have been born without a limb, were graciously permitted to have these heathy appendages surgically removed. 

And let me remind you that these patients were grateful, and may go to their graves grateful for the disabilities they asked for and received. 

Such choices summon an ill-humored genie, grab greedy fingers round the monkey’s paw. Such choices disguise the cost of a reckless wish, often forever to the wisher in their lifetime. Such choices come with a binding understanding on the condition that one be willfully opaque to, a fact which if one were to choose to accept and humble oneself before it, would bring the most awful of consequences.

To admit you were wrong would ruin you.

The people who believe they are transgender have every stake in this fight. If they accept that their choices were wrong, immoral, unjust, psychologically and mentally damaging, at cost of truth, genuity, sense, self, health, and life, their proceeding state would naturally be one of great shame and despair. At the harm they have caused and the lies they have told to themselves and others. Of the crushing farce of their lives, now shortened by unnecessary, gruesome, barbaric surgical and chemical altercations. Of the enormous sum of their own poisonous self-hatred, and the hatred of whatever differences they may possess by the world.

Those who perform these altercations: the genies, the sharp-toothed yellow-nailed monkeys, who offer the choices grandly and gluttonously, sleep well at night with bodies strong enough and hands deft enough to ruin all the bodies they touch. The victims smile, believing themselves saved. The monkeys smile, large sums on paper glowing in their rancid heads.  Many of these doctors, surgeons, so-called scientists believe themselves to be doing good in the world (Though some certainly only have a taste for power, money, and mutilation. The do-gooder has a secondhand sour unspoken knowledge, which is that if he is wrong he is a modern Mengele. What else do you call someone who meddles with the bodies of children, with the mentally compromised, with the most utterly desperate, who says goodnight to a whole person and good morning to a mutilated one with a smile? With a smile, with a smile.

Victims are annoying. They are. You don't want to look at them. They are self-involved, destructive, unreasonable as a long-caged animal. They are unnattractively pitiable because they cling to their sickness with the grip of someone hanging off a cliff. They are fickle, flaky, flagrantly inconsiderate of the families, friends and lovers they have alienated with the choices they have made. It is all too tempting to kick such a pathetic creature while it’s down, mocking it shivering in a cage of its own creation.

  But their choices should not have existed, their self-imposed cage should never have been imposed concretely by simpering false sympathizers. It is cruel and unproductive to blame a person who has been alienated, marked and mutilated by the esteemed healers of this savage society. A victim, victimized, naturally appears gnarled and unattractive, unpersonable because she has not been treated like a person; the perpetrator, clean-handed, immaculately white-coated, appears godlike. But don’t let that distract you from the true enemy. The enemy is not the choice maker, but the choice giver. 

[falandosozin]

At least two patients not long ago, afflicted only by the mighty conviction they should have been born without a limb, were graciously permitted to have these heathy appendages surgically removed. 

this is very interesting. i dont know if they're one of the cases and i have no way of knowing since i don't have the patient's name for confidentiality reasons, but my neuropsychology teacher once told me about this patient with a serious mental condition that caused him to wholeheartedly believe his left arm wasn't his. it didn't belong there. it felt like someone else's arm. therapy did not help, in fact, seemed to make it worse, and it got to the point where the patience was feeling extreme phantom pains from the arm that supposedly wasn't there. im pretty sure he was put on medication too, because then one day he got drunk at home (most antipsychotics when mixed with alcohol cause blackouts) and attempted to remove his own arm through whatever means he could find at home. at the end he had to go to the hospital but the arm was so destroyed that the doctors had to amputate it for his own safety, and his quality of life seemingly improved significantly after that. he still attended psychotherapy and stayed in a mental hospital for some time, but as far as my teacher knows, he was much better.

now, im not saying that situation is the same as a trans person getting gender affirming surgery. i honestly dont think so at all. i think they're two different things caused by two very different conditions. but since you're the one drawing this analogy, im curious: what would you have done to the patient? therapy didn't work. maybe some other medication? keep the man permanently sedated until they figure something out? tie him up?

also, just out of curiosity, "(if) the people who believe they are transgender (...) accept that their choices were wrong, immoral, unjust, etc" how?

specifically immoral. how is medically transitioning immoral. im genuinely curious. try to explain it to me without mentioning religion, please. im waiting.

[d3nt4l-d4m4g3]

Have you heard of the Hippocratic oath? It is immoral because physical harm is being done on healthy people. Healthy people are being sterilized and having their lives cut dramatically shorter, despite that there is little imperial evidence that any of these measures actually save lives. To me, trans IS the religion. A cult of blood sacrifice. To believe in true science and medicine is to heal patients, not create patients.

As for the patient, I would have done anything to prevent surgeons from disabling him at his own request. At what point can you conclude that therapy doesn’t work? A year? Two? And what methods were used? Mental healing doesn’t have a timeline or a perfect recipe, and to give up on it in favor of the physical mutilation the patient asked for is cruelty. Mutilation is appealing because it is a simple solution to a complicated problem—a lifetime of trauma and confusion.

Harm is not subjective, despite the protestations of those who wish to be harmed.

Do No Harm. It’s as simple as that.

[aikuma-deactivated20250523]

Lol. You complain of cults yet here you are, acting just like one.

"No freedom of choice! No education! Only fear mongering! Because it upsets me!"

No different than abortion banning because "think of the unborn kids!". No different than a controlling mother yelling at her child for getting a tramp stamp.

"You cannot do what you want with your own body, because I think it's wrong! Me! The authority on everything!"

Listen. Nobody should care what other people are doing. I'd rather live a short happy life than a long miserable one.

"What if they regret it?" What if they don't?

"What if it goes wrong?" What if it goes right?

Arguing "what if"s to justify stripping a person's freedom of choice is so old.

In the given example, you know what would have happened if the doctor's didn't amputate him? He would have done it himself. Very painfully, very dangerously.

You don't actually care about people's safety. You just want to not have to see it. Like abortions, it will still all happen...just with more pain and death.

And with how miserable he sounds, it seems like he would have killed himself anyways. A short and miserable life, because that arm was so important to you, an outsider, a stranger?

Freedom of choice soley relies on the individual. I want the freedom to make mistakes than to live in a box.

Do you actually care about these people? Do you? Then do this: advocate for better information. Advocate for awareness of alternatives and risks. You know what fearmongering and restricting choice is? A cult.

Besides, isn't it psych 101 to know that if you force people not to do something, it just makes them want to do it more?

Posts like these make me glad dictatorship is generally frowned upon.

And I concede my tone is rather rude. But it is not a personal attack. I am sure you are a lovely person. This, however, is not a lovely post.

[d3nt4l-d4m4g3]

People invented the atom bomb and People chose to release them on Japan. People invented lobotomies and people chose to lobotomize young women. People invented methamphetamines, and people chose to smoke it.

Just because a choice is legal and available doesn't mean it's an ethical choice. Stopping people from making a demonstrably harmful choice is not cult-like. An identity being predicated on expensive, life-shortening interventions, of burning all evidence of one's past, of forcing people to address you with patented falsehoods, and often cutting all ties with family—that's cultlike.

Who is fearmongering? Me, raising awareness about the proven medical harms of transitioning and criticizing a medical system that enables that? Or you, implying that people will begin cutting off their body parts in the thousands and/or killing themselves without access to these medical interventions when statistics clearly show otherwise—I don't know, it's a toughie...

People have the choice to do what they want with their bodies—i.e. people can "take matters into their own hands" regarding amputation, etc. But that hypothetical is extremely gruesome, and a deterrent for most. Those for which the threat of extreme blood loss, shock, unimaginable pain, and possible death is not a deterrent from attempting self-amputation obviously should be under psychiatric care, not placated and rewarded for their fantasies of self-mutilation.

Doctors and surgeons should not have the choice to make the modifications trans people want freely available. The loss of the choice is a deterrent for most. I am optimistic that all people can psychologically integrate with their bodies before jumping to self-injury. That choice should be more available than the destructive one but it isn't. The destructive choice is painful, but in a way it's easy. Like the atom bomb or a lobotomy or meth, there is an enormous effect immediately. Psychic healing is a long, hard, slow process that forces introspection. It brings shame and anger and loss to the surface. Forgiving yourself for a lifetime of hurt doesn't happen overnight.

When I was trans, I thought of my body like a voodoo doll for my soul. If I could cut my breasts off, all the bad feelings attached to them would be gone. But I realize now that the self-hatred was so deep inside me that no physical effort could excise it. Self-hatred does not shed with blood. It must be reckoned with internally.

[d3nt4l-d4m4g3]

This is a morbid question, but after going through your medical malpractice tags, I can't help but to wonder how many women have died from T? And also, does every TIF who does stay on T for long periods of time develop some sort of chronic pain/illness that you've read or seen?

It seems like its rare to hear from TIFs on T after 6+ years. It seems like they almost all quit or lower their dose substantially.

it's probably impossible to estimate how many women have died from taking T. Legally, many of these women are male and are registered in medical systems as male. From looking at a piece of paper, it's impossible to separate these women on testosterone from men on testosterone.

I don't know every trans person so I can't say with certainty that every single trans identified woman develops chronic pain or illness on T. That said, the sheer number of systems that testosterone touches—bones, heart, reproductive organs to name a few—means that the likelihood of developing at least one chronic illness/source of pain is extremely high. And it can happen over a short or prolonged period of time. You might never have the symptoms of vaginal atrophy, but your cortisol and blood pressure could be climbing every year. You might not have a heart attack, but you could develop psoriasis. Maybe your bones are dense enough but your pancreas is fried. Maybe your pancreas is fine, but you have shooting pains every time you orgasm.

if you think about it, it's like a box of chocolates.

I don't want to accuse all TIFs who profess perfect health after 10+ years of taking testosterone of being liars. Statistically, that's not true.

However, I think that there is a lot of pressure to uphold the narrative that cross-sex hormones are healthcare, and not a lot of incentive to admit those exact hormones can ruin health.

There isn't this same reservation when you're talking about chemotherapy, for example—would you tell a cancer patient that she might not puke during treatment? That she might not lose her hair? That her fertility may not be compromised? All of those maybes are technically correct. That patient may not suffer all of these things, or possibly any of them. But as a medical professional, as a friend, as a family member, as a patient, is it not responsible to say that what the medication does, is designed to do, "might not" happen.

Of course, chemo is temporary. It is a poison given to sick people to kill the bad hopefully before it kills too much good. Giving testosterone unnecessarily to healthy women, and indefinitely to boot, can only worsen health.

Even if there was a percentage of women who take large doses of testosterone with no pain or chronic illness over years—a percentage I doubt is significant—would you put diesel in a gas car? Would you drive on the highway like that? Would you be able to live with yourself knowing your family and loved ones are holding their breaths every night, waiting for a phone call that you have crashed? objectively, it's highly selfish to pretend the benefits outweigh the potential cost, the cost being one's life.

Going back to your point about the 6+ year mark—yeah, I do think by that time a lot of women detransition, live miserably as trans, or die quietly, away from the spotlight. Like an old dog not wanting to bring vultures to her body. There's no longer any thrill from being trans, but rebuilding your life, community, and body is terrifying and has real social consequences, so many stay in that limbo.

[d3nt4l-d4m4g3]

England’s health service to stop prescribing puberty blockers to transgender kids | CNN

England’s National Health Service (NHS) has stopped prescribing puberty blockers for children and young people with gender dysphoria or gend

This is huge. I hope the US takes notice.

[d3nt4l-d4m4g3]

“How dare you not give me exactly what I want and instead offer a reasonable solution to my crippling pain?”

For the record, estrogen cream only sometimes works, and according to the testimonies I’ve read, its effectiveness can become null over time. Truly the only sure way to reverse vaginal atrophy is to stop testosterone. But “dysphoria” prevents this patient from reclaiming the healthy body she was born with.