Jase Nastos. I'm 20 and I live in Seattle. I'm also an Olympic Swimmer, but it's whatever.. Oh, and I absolutely love cookies. You touch any of my cookies, I'll chop your hands off.
What do you expect me to do? Drop every fucking thing I'm doing to help take care of my uncle and sister just so I can text your ass?
You're not the only fucking person going through shit, Gregory! God, can't you fucking realize that I need to take care my own damn problems, too?! Not everything's about you!
I didn't know I had to run everything I plan on doing by you, Gregory. I'll be sure next time I have shit to take care of that you'll be the first person I tell.
Tossing and turning. That's all the young man can do when he's alone in his room in the middle of the night trying to sleep. No matter what he did; listen to slow songs, drink warm milk, spend his entire day exercising to tire himself out before bed.. nothing seems to work. His insomnia began a few weeks ago, on the same night he acted like a complete idiot. The twenty-one year old abruptly sat up in his bed and placed his forehead on top of his palms. All he wanted to do right now was go to sleep for a few hours, or even for the rest of his life if the gods above allowed it. But no, his damn thoughts have to be in the way and between him and his much needed rest.
Picking up his head from his hands, Jase reached over and turned on his bedside lamp. Though, he immediately regretted it once his gaze landed on the two picture frames staring at him in the face, almost as if they were taunting him. The swimmer gently picked up the one closest to the left side of the table, caressing the sides as if it was made of glass and could be broken with just a single touch. Inside the frame was a picture of him and his best friend, Gregory. The duo haven't spoken to each other in weeks, and Jase would be lying if he said that it wasn't causing him emotional pain. Not once have they spent more than twelve hours not being in communication with the other. Not once have they been to parties without their main man. But yet, that changed. A lot.
During the past few weeks when he was MIA and barely socializing with anybody in Miami, the male was visiting his Uncle Matt in New York. While he was there he spent the majority of his time spending some quality time with his uncle, or partying with some of his friends he had made throughout all the trips he went to. All the parties were different from the other in some way or form. One consisted of hardcore dancing in a nightclub, the other was on a boat instead of a club, and so on and so forth. He was supposed to come back the next week, but ended up coming home a bit early. The party life wasn't really him, but he tried so hard to make it feel as if nothing's wrong and continue to party without any interruptions from his thoughts. That didn't quite end up well. Out of the five parties he attended, he was completely wasted during three of them. And of course, they call it liquid courage for a reason. Those three nights caused him to spill out everything that was on his mind and bothering him to his friends and uncle. Every single time it happened it was the same exact story over and over. Eventually, Matt told his nephew to go back home to try and fix everything. So, here he was now staring down at a picture of him and his best friend, but yet hasn't given any effort to resolve any problems.
Being MIA from everyone close to him did help him somehow. For a few hours a day, Jase was able to forget Greg, the stress, the frustration, everything. Hence, why he was wasted throughout most of his mini-vacation. Thinkin back, the swimmer vaguely remembers a few girls coming up to him every once in a while. They tried everything; flirt, seduce, and other things. Though they never worked. Whenever that happened, Jase politely rejected them and walked away towards either the bar or his closest friend he made in NYC, Zack. Now, you're probably thinking why the hell didn't he accept their offers and go make out with them into oblivion. The answer was easy. Kennedy. He was still in a relationship, or at least he thinks he is. The couple haven't talked for at least two weeks. It was literally causing him both emotional and physical pain that they haven't spoken in so long. Those fucking six words she said to him during their last conversation continued to haunt him every single minute of everyday. 'I don't know what I want.' If he was being honest with himself, he didn't know either. He wants to fix things between them, so bad. All he wanted to do was make her happy again.
Turning his head, the swimmer looked at the other frame closer to his bed with a sad look in his eyes. It was a picture of the two of them. Both of them were smiling, with Jase's arms wrapped around her waist from behind while she was laying back into his front. Placing the picture currently in his hand down, he gingerly picked up the other and frowned. A few moments went by in complete, and tensed, silence. Then suddenly, a wave of anger surged through his body and he threw both frames onto the floor, causing them to shatter pieces all over. Nothing was the same as it was before. The Greek boy so desperately wanted to go back to the easier times. Where he was happy, truly happy, and wasn't hiding behind such a horrible lie that everything was alright. Thank God his room was soundproof because the next thing he knew, Jase pulled the covers off of him and kicked the closest thing near his feet, which so happens to be XBOX. Normally he would be devastated, but the feeling of anguish was taking over. He needed a release, something to help him make the pain less. Out of habit he slammed his fist onto his bed and then punched the wall.
Surprisingly, the pain on his hand made him calm down a bit. Jase was about to do it once more when he heard a small sniffle from his doorway. Turning his attention away from the dent in the wall to his door, he mentally scolded himself for forgetting that he left the door opened slightly. There she stood, Victoria Nastos, on the verge of tears as she stood there with shock written all over her face. The boy quickly made his way to his younger sister and placed his hands on both her shoulders. "Hey, hey. I'm sorry you had to see that. I'm fine now, though, okay? Please don't cry." He whispered, feeling liquid pooling around his eyes. When he tells people crying was a weakness of his, he wasn't kidding. Especially if the crying is coming from his little sibling. Victoria just shook her head and enveloped him in a tight hug. He felt water on his bare chest and immediately felt his heart break. "Look, just go back to sleep, okay? Everything's fine." For reassurance, Jase pulled back slowly and gave her a small smile, all the while gave a gentle kiss on her head. With a final bob of her head, she slowly walked back towards her room and shut the door.
The elder Nastos ran a hand through his hair and turned to look back at his bed where his phone laid. He heard a few rings and text messages sounds from it throughout the day. The boy had an inkling on who it might be, but he didn't care. He rather cut off any communication with everyone if it wasn't from who he wanted it to be from. Out of nowhere, he suddenly heard a deep voice clearing their throat and slowly turned back around to face his father. The forty-seven year old man came to his room to yell at him for interrupting his work session in his study. But seeing the conflicted look in his son's eyes made all intentions vanish. John Nastos knew he hasn't been there for his oldest child, but that did't mean he didn't care or love him. "What's wrong?" He questioned hesitantly, almost afraid that he was going to be told to fuck off by his own kid. What happened next, however, was something he didn't expect in a hundred years. Jase shook his head and started sobbing, right in front of him. The last time he ever saw his son cry was probably when he was four and he tripped on the sidewalk. The paternal side of John was suddenly unleashed as he grabbed his boy by his shoulders and pulled him in for a hug. The twenty-one year old was stiff at first, unsure what to make of his father's actions, but slowly relaxed into the embrace and continued his emotional breakdown, not even caring that he was ruining the very expensive shirt the older was wearing.
"What's wrong, Jase?" John asked again, not exactly sure what to do in a situation like this. Since they were in the hallway, John looked to his left where the stairs are and noticed his wife, Samantha, appear with a look of apprehension. The male lawyer shook his head and nodded towards the master bedroom. Understanding what's going on, Samantha briskly entered their room and shut the door silently. When he was sure it wasn't opened, since it was something that she would do to eavesdrop, John looked back down at his boy and sighed. Ten minutes of silence was upon them, excluding the sobs that broke through the swimmer. Eventually, he did calm down somewhat and broke free from the embrace and wiped his bloodshot eyes. "I'm sorry, sir. Some stuff has been going on with Greg and my girlfriend and some other shit. I'm fine." He didn't even convince himself with his mumbling, so he just shrugged his shoulders and turned to leave when he felt his father's hand on his shoulder once again. "Jase.. I..." John began, contemplating in his mind on what to say. "I know I've been neglecting you. I know I'm probably the worst father in the whole goddamn world, and I'm so sorry for that. But I also know when you're not alright. Just.. talk to me, kid. Please."
Every word his dad spoke, the younger male couldn't help but to be surprised. His father was actually willing to hear him talk, actually willing to help him with his problems. Jase had to blink several times to make sure he hadn't fallen asleep and that this wasn't a dream. This whole thing was strange to him. It hadn't happened ever since Victoria was diagnosed. He might as well enjoy it while he had it, because he was uncertain when this opportunity will ever happen again. So with a nod of his head, Jase motioned for his father to enter his room and shut the door. Once he did, the lawyer sat down next to his child on his bed, listening closely as he explained what has been happening in his life and why there were even more dents on his wall than the last time he went into his room. By the end of his long explanation, John stared at him wide-eyed. Never in his life would he expect his usually strong, and independent Jase seem so broken and lost. "Well.. I don't know what will happen between you and this girl of yours, or even Gregory. But whatever happens.. it happened for a reason. And no matter what happens, your mother and myself, along with Victoria, will always be here for you." Okay, so it didn't completely help the Greek boy's situation, but it did seem to calm him down a bit. A small, shy smile appeared on Jase's lips at his father's words. The feeling of having him be there to support him made the swimmer actually feel at home. The two Nastos men heard the eldest's company phone ringing, meaning he has to get back to his intense working session. With understanding in his eyes, Jase gave his father a wider smile as he told him he needed to leave.
Once his door closed, the male sighed out and flopped back onto his bed. He was worn out beyond the point of just collapsing. His eyelids were getting heavier and heavier with each breath he took. During his last few minutes of consciousness, Jase thought about what he should do and what to expect the next time he spoke to anyone. Feeling defeated, he closed his eyes and let the last few tears to fall from his eyes. His father was right, whatever happens.. happens. He can't control that. Actually, it seems like he can't control anything anymore. Not his friendship, definitely not his relationship. Nothing. With one last sigh, Jase quickly fell asleep. Though, he was certain he was going to be awoken in the next few hours like he always did.
Yeah, I can, but it was two weeks ago. I’m so past that, I don’t care anymore. He’s allowed to have his opinions, I’m not mad at him for hating me. It just sucks. I don’t want to scream at you, Jase. It’s not worth it. I don’t know what I want.
Obviously you still care a little bit if you brought it up. Yeah, well, that doesn't mean he had to be a jerk about it and tell you like it was nothing. You know, I'd be lying if I said I wasn't freaking out over your last statement.
After you got mad at me over nothing? Oh! And finding out your best friend hates me over, again, nothing was really the highlight of that week. Right. That’s really going to make me you want go to you first.
Alright, I admit I got angry over nothing, but seriously can you blame me? Don't even bring him into this conversation. I'm just as pissed off at him as you are for what he said to you. Look, I'm sorry. I'm sorry for being for being the asshole that I am and for everything. So if you want to scream at me or whatever, then do it already.
