[dad-joke]

Beavers

Dad: I just watched a documentary about beavers.

Me: Oh yeah, how was it...?

Dad: Best DAM documentary I've ever seen!

[dad-joke]

Italian hood

What to you call a dodgy Italian hood?

The Spaghetto!

[dad-joke]

What do you call cheese that isn't yours?

Nacho cheese...

[dad-joke]

Bike Stand

Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was too tired.

[dad-joke]

Ice Cream Student

Where do you learn how to make ice cream?

Sundae school!

[dad-joke]

Time Travelling Will Smith

If Will Smith travelled to the past, would he become Was Smith...?

[dad-joke]

Nose Joke

Dad: Why can't you have a nose 12 inches long?

Me: I don't know why?

Dad: Because then it would be a foot...

[dad-joke]

Noodle Joke

What do you call a fake noodle?

Impasta!

[dad-joke]

Put the cat out.

Mom: Can you put the cat out please?

Dad: I didn’t know it was on fire.

Mom: …

Dad:

[dad-joke]

Crushing

Dad: Why did the can crusher quit their job?

Me: ...

Dad: Because is was SODA-PRESSING!

[dad-joke]

Space Wedding

Dad: So, two satellites decided to get married...

Me: Here we go...

Dad: The atmosphere wasn't great but the reception was incredible!

[dad-joke]

Trippn

I bought shoes from a drug dealer once...

I don't know what he laced them with but I was tripping all day!

[dad-joke]

Wife in Labor

Taking my wife in labor to the hospital, I used the entrance labeled Trucks and Deliveries but it was the wrong one.

[dad-joke]

The bar

2 men walked into a bar, the third one ducked...

[dad-joke]

Holy Water

How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it.

[dad-joke]

Dentist joke

What time do u go to the dentist? Tooth-hurty...

[dad-joke]

Infection

When you have a bladder infection, urine trouble.