Come to Daddy

Sex God Dirty Old Man Indie Immortan Joe rp/ask blog. 18+

[brentofthefabulouswild]

Immortan Joe + The Hand That Feeds (x)

[mermaider00]

Be still my beating black heart

[daddy-joe]

correction: a very VERY small indian white bitter gourd

Obviously you are not speaking from firsthand experience. It is fat, textured for pleasure and fits very nicely in two hands.

[daddy-joe]

You rude little shits, I am your Redeemer!

[daddy-joe]

If Joe's ass is a lumpy pumpkin, is his cock a teeny slim jim?

*Heavy sigh*

I already told you, Bitter Gourd of the India Long White variety.

[daddy-joe]

ALL HAIL THE LUMPY PUMPKIN!

NO! No hailing ugly fat pumpkins!

If anything, I am a bitter gourd of the India Long White variety.

[lioness--hart]

I came here to wreck shit and fuck hoes, and Furiosa’s got all me hoes.

Immortan Joe, via my roommate (via lioness-hart)

[fearlesslyloyal-deactivated2020]

[daddy-joe]

Rude >:(

[kilianexperience]

joe is not evil for the sake of being evil.

Keep reading

[daddy-joe]

Joe's death's head respirator hooks into a serious of piercings along his mouth/cheeks, hence why his jaw came clean off.

//Ah! Yes! Punk Joe under mask, with his face all scarred up and held together with metal. And metal keeping his mask on >:)   

Write a Headcanon about my character

If it’s good, it will become official.

[daddy-joe]

"I've come to share with you the good news, for early this morning, Daddy, you were made a grandfather."

How the hell…? FUCK! I have been trying to keep Rictus away from the girls, Fearless! You know how fixated he can get!

So, what is the kid like?  

[daddy-joe]

Guilt weighs heavy on Joe’s heart as he listens to Fearless beg for forgiveness, bringing up all the accusations he has made against her over the years. At first, Joe had believed it had been all her fault. That something nefarious had been hiding somewhere in her genetics, out of sight under the skin and untestable.  

But the fault isn’t with her dyslexia, but at his thoughtlessness. He hadn’t fully acknowledged the evil lurking inside of Scrotus yet. He had only been gone a few minutes…

“Stop it. Stop blaming yourself,” gasps Joe, clutching Fearless tightly to his chest, his fingers digging into her soft skin. “There is nothing wrong with you and there was nothing wrong with Rictus until I-”

Joe pauses, heaving in a deep breath.

“Back when he was still a toddle, I used to take him for a while to give you a break. Remember? I Scrotus with me one day and something came up. Something important, I think. I can’t remember. So I left Scrotus to watch over him until I came back… And when I did,  he- Oh god, Fearless, he was hunched over Rictus like a fucking vulture.”

[daddy-joe]

Dinner with The Devil

[daddy-joe]

“If ‘lice’ is an issue, why don’t you have the girls down at the Glory Hole give him a shave?” asks Joe, finally undoing the last clasp of his mask and setting it on the table, careful not to scratch the surface. “They’re tidy women for their profession and seeing as Dima has made himself at home with them, I doubt they’ll mind helping. I am sure it would be beneficial for everyone.”

Dima has been a very busy animal, as far as Joe’s men have reported, cozying up to Fearless and her whores, sniffing around the Milking Mothers, scampering after War Boys and down into the bowls of the Citadel. Joe’s sure he has only heard of half of the mutants depraved sexual adventures.

Joe freezes in place as Dima turns to him with a smile, mouth hardening into a tight, unpleasant line. Joe is pretty sure he'll puke if Dima kisses him, the urge to retch building as he takes in the cheese sticking between jagged, greying teeth and coating a slimy oversized tongue in an oversized mouth.

How Viktoria can stand to smother the mutant in kisses his beyond Joe. How anyone, Dima’s husband and wife included, could enjoy kissing the wormy beast completely baffles Joe.

“Anymore kisses and you’ll be spoiled rotten,” says Joe, turning down Dima as politely as possible. “If you aren’t already. From what I have heard, you’ve been handing out kisses out all over the Citadel.”

Ignoring the mutated buffoon in his bride’s lap, Joe gives Niotkuda a polite smile before pouring himself a glass of water. He's about to take a sip and let his comment hang in the air, Cobweb's coughing breaks the silence.

"Oh dear, are you alright?" asks Joe, about to get up and give the girl a firm pat on the back if she is unable to answer him. 

[occasionalrpmemes]

Reblog this if you’re okay with RPing ships that don’t work out!

One-sided crushes, break-ups, rebound relationships… not every ship has to go well!

[daddy-joe]

⭐️ Dima <3 <3 <3

Dima is starting to infect all of Joe’s fantasies relating to ‘Buzzard’ women. Every time he tries to jerk it to Vitya, Cobweb or Fearless, Dima somehow wiggles his butt in there.

And Joe cums so hard that his knees go weak and he needs to take a breather.  

[daddy-joe]

"I've come to share with you the good news, for early this morning, Daddy, you were made a grandfather."

How the hell…? FUCK! I have been trying to keep Rictus away from the girls, Fearless! You know how fixated he can get!

So, what is the kid like?  

[daddy-joe]

Joe wraps his arms around Fearless as she sags against him, clings to him and strokes his skin as he pulls her closer. A lump forms in his throat and his heart clenches painfully in his chest as she begs him to fix their son, to make him perfect again and take her back into her arms. To love her again, like he did when they were young.

But he can't. No matter how much he wishes he could. He's just a sick old man, not the great and powerful god Fearless thinks he is, and the best he can do is keep Rictus and provide for him. After what happened to his little boy...

"I've tried, Fearless," swears Joe, bowing his head to press his mask to the top of hers. "I've tried to teach him, to guide him. To make him better again."

Memories of that day come flooding forwards; the image of Scrotus leaning over Rictus, the chubby toddler far too quiet in his hands. Joe lets out a shuddering breath, his chest heaving as pain and guilt rise up in him.

"I can't fix him," chokes out Joe, clutching his wife to his chest. "And it's my fault."

[daddy-joe]

⭐️

Joe isn’t sure what to make of Yona yet. He doesn’t believe her good girl act one bit, but he doesn’t think she is just a snarling ball of bad attitude either. He has decided to wait until Yona slips up and shows her true self before he gives her a new name.

[daddy-joe]

⭐️ (cactus-flxwer)

Joe wonders what Tiffany would do if she knew he was thinking about battering with her home community for the healthy girls his men reported seeing there.

He’s hoping for wives, but some fresh meat for the Breeder’s Court would be good as well.