wonder

designer/urban environmental planner/an impulsive and overthinking writer

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Betelgeuse

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Alhambra, 2021

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27 #blessed

almost reaching the end of my twenty-xx, I thought I won’t be able to experience new stuffs as I got older...thought I’m missing out... but boy, I couldn’t be so wrong...

First time being abroad for quite long, I found a ‘new’ sides of me (mostly are funny haha):

- channeling the ‘interior-designer’ in me (that I used to deny) in designing my flat haha. 

- being ambitious again only to realize that there is no use in being ambitious; achievement is indeed a temporary success. therefore, I shift my goal from target to progress! 

- meeting new friends, and not being too ‘nggetu’ haha. yes, I got to the point where I don’t care...if we’re not vibing, then that’s okay. 

- communication is like a HOLY-GRAIL in relationship haha. learn a lot from a ton of mangas/manhwas fufu. beyond blessed to have a partner who has a doctoral degree in management 

- giving attention to my mental health. what I learn in a ‘hard way’: insecurities is inevitable, depression is inevitable. talking to psychologist for the first time, being ‘content’ with who I am, and accept the fact that I’m a nerd wkwk #proud

- ‘healthy’. I know I overlook this for the past few years :)) #backpainhitsyoudifferently. now, I start collecting sports wear, and investing in a healthy meal #addictedtoprogress!

I can list like a thousand more new things, but if I can sum it up...I can feel ‘rehat’ that Kuntoaji sang about hahaha. I went to the spa, treat myself nicely, being thankful that I can survive this life, connecting with friends, and just feel blessed by the time and opportunity that’s given by Him. aging is a privilege.

I can hear the clock’s ticking, and couldn’t wait to enjoy my life to the fullest

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Photo of the year

“When you are in the middle of pandemic but you still have a bridesmaid's duty” 

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A: Ambil jurusan apa?

B: Hm...simplenya tata kota berbasis lingkungan

A: Wah kuat juga ya lo, gue kerja 10 tahun di bidang lingkungan resign karna sulit

B: Berat sih, gue juga ga yakin aplikasinya gimana di Indonesia

C: Tadi makanan catering aja dalam 1 box bisa 6 plastik

A: Susah sih kalau mau disamain sama disana (eropa)

B: Ga akan bisa sama persis, karna gapnya jauh. paling ya step by step...

Sebuah pembicaraan random di koridor sembari menunggu panggilan tes pcr. Berbicara tentang lingkungan di Indonesia selalu dilematis, penting tapi masih belum menjadi prioritas. Setiap kali saya ditanya jurusan, respon yang muncul antara menyemangati atau menyaluti, tapi nada satir itu selalu terbersit. Entah mengapa saya jadi merasa harus menulis percakapan ini disini, sebagai pengingat bahwa perjalanan saya...masih panjang.

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I don't know how this river runs But I'd like the company through every twist and turn

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“Did you go somewhere?”

“Funny you should ask”

The new normal : posting a not-at-home photos means confessing a faux pas to your friends. as a homebody, I am at the point where I feel quite happy by just seeing my holiday-throwback photos, missing the outside already #noharmdone

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What a Wonderful World 

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Awaji Yumebutai in Summer 2019

To see the season changes in Awaji, it’s one of the blissful experience

Hope I get to see another one next year !

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“Ba na na ! Po ta to na !”

- Universal Studio, Osaka

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#sebuahgoals

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I Shared The Last 17 Days Of My Dad’s Life In Pictures To Break The Silence Around Death

In 2015, death took my dad rather quickly. When they found cancer, it had already taken up residence in his pancreas and spread to his liver. Diagnosis to death was under 2 months.

“to break the silence around death”

Death grips us all and gives absolute shared fate; as a universal truth; but Death also deals each of us our own unique experience of it. His cold fingers wrap so tightly around our hearts that we sink deeper than the deepest of oceans, knowing only cold and collapse. He drags our heart down from the chest and deep into the belly of our grief and sadness. A thousand memories past and a thousand memories yet to be named, expectations of what was supposed to be, burrow deep into the silence and darkness of, “If only…“. 

Whether your heart succumbs to His icy grip to beat nevermore, or whether He steals the heart of a loved one and leaves your heart to beat alone forevermore, it is inevitable; it’s a difficult, dark, sad and scary process. It’s a claustrophobic labyrinth with no escape, an ocean of emotion with no shore on the horizon. Yet it’s something shared by everyone. There’s beauty in the reality that all humanity shares the same mortality. And beauty in understanding that mortality. There’s a richness living in the acceptance that; life is, and life happens;– and never without Death. He brings a fate we all share. A fate we feel together.

 As I recall the moment 5 years ago, the words “ break the silence around death” really touch me. There is no manual on how to face the death of your loved one, people strive to live, people talk about how to enjoy your life to the fullest in thousands of books. Yet only a few really talk about death, with the gloomiest cover and spooky looks, death is not something that we enjoy talking. Death is not something that we embrace. Hence, when death is so close to us, we are clueless. It’s been 5 years, time sure flies, I try to convince myself again, It’s been 5 years. On her last moment, my mom taught me something that no one would dare to talk about, my mom taught me how to face death with a smile. How to enjoy her last moment with her closest friends and family even when we’re miles apart. She showed me how love would last even when your breath wouldn’t.

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What is Beauty in Architecture Today - and Are We Afraid of it?

This article was originally published on CommonEdge as "The 'B' Word: How a More Universal Concept of Beauty Can Reshape Architecture." There is a...